tv The White House Correspondents Dinner 2018 CNN April 28, 2018 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT
>> we're minutes away from hearing from comedian. >> they longed for the promise that america held. my mother was born american but like the current president she was wowed by a young dashing immigrant. [ applause ] >> my father was what i would call a george h.w. republican and my mother was a democrat and they disagreed about a lot when it came to politics. i came a journalist in large part because of those debates that unfolded at the dining room
table each night. but one they agreed on was that what has always made america great is the ability to disagree. publicly. to have facts, to make informed arguments and counterarguments for whatever the subject might be -- welfare, taxes, war, religion. to speak your mind without fear of beating or arrests or seizure of assets or death. and journalism gives us the information to do that. my father risked everything to come to this country because of our ideals. and for him, the first amendment might just have been the most important of all. as i see it, it's my job to do all i can to live up to that legacy and preserve it. thank you. [ applause ]
you know, i'm looking forward to figuring out whatever is next with me. but i'm going to miss sparring with the press every day. sorry, not calling on you. in fact, boredom is probably my biggest worry for life after congress. lucky boehner texted me the other day and said he found something that helps him chill out. something to do with grass, i don't really know. anyway, i want to say there are quick ways for young men and women receiving scholarships. it affirmed for me that the future of journalism is indeed bright. my message to the next generation of reporters is it's really simple -- know that what you do matters. there's so much noise out there, but our republic does not work without an informed electorate. pay attention to the policy, not
just the personalities. look at the human impact, not just the horse race. and above all, challenge yourself to challenge us, those of us in to public office. because what you do, it really matters. it provides transparency and accountabili accountabili accountability. done right, journalism cannot just inform but empower citizens. of course we don't always agree on what's right and what's fair, but that push and pull, that makes us both better. it creates a higher standard. it's part of the genius of this country. and it will endure through any turbulent time. so tonight, i say cheers to the first amendment and again offer my congratulations scholarship winners. have a great night.
>> that was a pretty markable video you just saw from paul ryan saying journalism is critical to the foundation of this country and will thrive through turbulence. the exact opposite of what we heard from the president tonight and the reason why he's not there. >> look, that is a speech even a short video that president trump would never do. >> never. >> you cannot see him delivering the message the speaker of the house did right now. >> it's a pure defense of journalism. saying he met with the students being honored tonight whoer a big mart of what tonight is all about. another president did meet with the young journalists, but paul ryan, speaking to jumpists and saying that our democracy depends on you. >> right. it stands in stark contrast to his team fundraising off of this dinner calling it fake news liberals. >> the history of the white house correspondent dinner, it is interesting. we're waiting to hear from
michelle wolf. it's not like comedians have been there since calvin coolidge, though. >> it really began with mark russell in 1983. he did satire, washington satire. before that, it was frank sinatra and duke ellington, nat king cole. you can't beat duke ellington. ray charles, people like that. suddenly it became the comedians. now each keedian has to vie for who's the best, who bombs. there's always a lot of pressure. stephen colbert is seen as a high-water mark. don imus kind of shattered the mold of things when he mocked bill and hillary clinton right in front of them. and they ended up trying to get c-span to not rerun imus because they were so offended by it. >> you bring up colbert, that was a sering takedown. president bush sat tlo and took
it. this president has chosen not to for the past two years. we'll see if he ever does come to one of these. what president has performed the best? meaning he has taken the roasting the best and he has the performed the best. >> without question, barack obama. he created an art form with it, the way jack kennedy did with the press conference, or fdr with fireside chats. obama worked with comedians, he scripted it. at the end of the last one when he dropped the mike. that was one of the great moments of it. he killed it all the time, president obama. >> i will say for better or worse, that's also when the dinner became a celebrity affair andless about journalism. there were a lot of changes and it has dialled back from that a little bit. we have much more to come including the comedian michelle wolf just a few minutes away. hi, kids! i'm carl and i'm a broker. do you offer $4.95 online equity trades? great question. see, for a full service brokerage like ours, that's tough to do.
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what really happened in roswell, and where are biggie and tupac. a rorschack test for obama. it was a very funny moment. there are others who will look at it and say donald trump got the last laugh. some moted it was at that moment that some people said he decide head wanted to be president. whether or not that's true, he toyed with running in 2000 and other years, let's go back to the kcorrespondents dinner and listen in. >> good evening. an award for presidential news coverage that recognizes a correspondent who personified excellence as well as personal,
the award goes to maggie haberman. [ applause ] her white house reporting makes a deep understanding of what makes president trump tick. having covered him as a new york businessman for 20 year, she was able to tap that knowledge of his personality, business operation and inner circle to chronicle the first year of his presidency. she provided rich detail and authoritative sourcing. she conveyed the feeling of being a fly on the wall of the white house. she also was a generous colleague who shared the fruits of her reporting with others at "the times." maggie could not be here tonight but doug mills will accept the ward in her stead. [ applause ]
first of all, a shoutout, brooks robinson is in the crowd tonight. from arkansas, as our press secretary notes. the news coverage under deadline pressure. the award is in memory of merriman smith of united press international, a white house correspondent for more than 30 years. it was given in two categories, broadcast and print. the merriman smith award for broadcast goes to evan perez, jim schuto, jake tapper, and carl bernstein of cnn.
[ applause ] these four journalists and a number of cnn reporters broke the story that the intelligence community had briefed president barack obama and president-elect donald trump that russia had compromising information on donald trump. and that then fbi director james comey first briefed trump on the dossier. it's breaking news at its very best. [ applause ]
the merriman smith award for print goes to josh dossey. josh's story about the resignation of sean spicer grabs the reader from the opening sentence. he hustled to find a wide assortment of sources and woven narrative that conveyed the drama of the resignation and held the readers' attention. he reported details others simply did not have, beautifully reported and written, say the judges. congratulations.
honorable mention in the merrismith award, chris johnson from the washington blade. well done. and i should mention, honorable mention, by the way, from the merriman smith award, lester holt from nbc news. the edgar a. poe award honors excellence in news coverage of subjects an events of significant national or regional importance to the american people. in honor of edgar a. poe, a long-time correspondent for new orleans times picayune and former white house correspondent' association president. selecting a recipient the judges will be looking for excellent stories in fairness and objectivity. the edgar a. poe award goes to
jason zepp, peter isl eer, tim reid, grant smith and team rueters for their report "shock tactics." [ applause ] >> the judges called the 18-month examination of taser-related deaths and litigation stunning, new as and investigation disturbing of a weapon that's not supposed to be lethal but often is. the project is relevant to every community, stood out in a sea of powerful contenders. congratulations. [ applause ]
and the honor mention for the edgar a. smith award goes to -- make sure i've got this right. dan diamond and rachana politico for their reporting on tom price's private travel. [ applause ] >> and to maggie and her husband and all her family, we're thinking of you tonight. i would like to call to the stage in a minute the recipient of the something called the president's award. this isn't something we award each year. this is only the second time we've done it. but the point of the award is to recognize excellence in somebody who helps our members and association succeed. martha kumar embodies that.
she's the director of the white house transition project, a board member of the white house historical association and is a scholar of the presidency. martha's very special stats, among other things, record and analyze the relationship between journalists and the white house. f you don't nomar that, you can't miss her. she's a compact force of nature, whizzing by with a shock of white hair on a vespa. or downstairs in the white house work space with a pencil and a pad and amazing stats. she's regularly in the briefing ro room, she's always ready for statistics to give our stories context and breadth. martha, please join us on stage. thank you for your important work and congratulations.
[ applause ] >> and now, the first time i saw michele wolf stand up, i thought what is with that voice? the second time i just gave in and let myself laugh. and then at some point, as i kept watching her, i thought, this woman is actually saying a lot more in between the punch lines. michelle wolf grew up in
hershey, pennsylvania, worked at bear sterns and jpmorgan chase first. she's written for seth myers, had a regular gig on trevor noah's show and then wow, tha big hbo special last year. d right after, we signed her for the dinner, we found out she was going to be doing a netflix series. i don't know when she had time to do this, but she did. she's not really a political comedian by training. she's not of washington. but if 2016 taught us anything, it's that we should be listening to more people outside of washington. and if 2017 taught us anything, it's hey, that means women. [ applause ] please welcome michelle wolf. [ applause ]
>> all right. this is long. this has been long. yeah. good evening. good evening. here we are, the white house correspondents' dinner. like a porn star says when she's about to have sex with a trump, let's get this over with. yes, kiddos, this is your getting tonight. i'm going to skip a lot of normal plez rant tri normal pleasantries. no one is watching, trump is president, it's not ideal. the white house correspondents' association, thank you for having me. the munk fish was fine. and just a reminder to everyone, i'm here to make jokes. i have no agenda. i'm not trying to get anything accomplished, so everyone that's here from congress, you should feel right at home.
[ applause ] now, before we get too far a little bit about me. a lot of you might not know who i am. i'm 32 years old, which is an odd age. 10 years too young to host this event and 20 years too old for roy moore. pi know. he almost got elected. yeah. it was fun. it was fun. honestly, i never really thought i would be a comedian, but i did take an aptitude test in seventh grade -- and this is 100% true. i took an aptitude test in seventh grade and it said my best profession was a clown or a mime. it did say clown and then it heard my voice and then said maybe mime. think about mime. and i know as much as some of you want me to, it's 2018 and i'm a woman so you can not shut me up!
unless you have michael cohen wire me $130,000. michael, you can viend me on-- me on venmo under my porn star name reince priebus. reince just gave a thumb's up. okay. feel are saying america is more d i vieded than ever. but i think no matter what you support politically, we can all agree that this is a great time for craft stores. because of all the protests, poster board has been flying off the shelves faster than robert mueller can say you've been subpoenaed. yarn sales are through the roof. after trump got elected, women started knitting those pussy hats. when i first saw them i said
that's a pussy? i guess mine just has a lot more yarn on it. yeah. should have done more research before you got me to do this. now, there is a lot to cover tonight, there's a lot to go over. i can't get to everything. i know there's a lot of people that want me to talk about russia and putin and collusion, but i'm not going to do that, because there's also a lot of liberal media here and i've never really want to know what any of you look like when you orgasm. except maybe for you, jake tapper. i bet it's something like this. okay, that's all the time we have. it is kind of crazy the trump campaign was in contact with russia when the hillary campaign
wasn't even in contact with michigan. it's a direct flight. it's so close. of course, trump isn't here, if you haven't noticed. he's not here. and i know, i know, i would drag him here myself, but it turns out the president of the united states is the one pussy you're not allowed to grab. he said it first. yeah, he did. now, i know people really want me to go after trump tonight, but i think we should give the president credit when he deserves it. like he pulled out of the paris agreement, and i think we should get credit for that because he said he was going to pull out and then he did. and that's a refreshing quality in a man. most men are like i forgot. i'll get you next time. oh, there's going to be a next time? people say romance is dead.
people call trump names all the time. and look, i could call trump a race or a misogynist or sooen phobic or unstable or incompetent or impotent. but he's heard all of those and he doesn't care. so tonight i'm going to try to make fun of the president in a new way, in a way that i think will really get him. mr. president, i don't think you're very rich. like i think you might be rich in idaho, but in new york you're doing fine. trump is the only person that still watches "who wants to be a millionaire" and thinks me. although i'm not sure you would get very far. he would get to like the third question and be like i have to phone a fox and friend. i want to try a fun new thing. and you say trump is so broke
and you guys go how broke is he. trump is so broke -- >> how broke is he? >> he has to fly failed business class. trump is so broke -- >> how broke is he? >> he looked for foreign oil in don jr.'s hair. trump is so broke -- >> how broke is he? >> southwest used him as one of their engines. i know, it's so soon. it's so soon for that joke. why did she tell it? it's so soon. trump is so broke -- >> how broke is he? >> he had to borrow money from the russians and now he's compromised susceptible to blackmail and possibly responsible for the collapse of the republic! yay! it's a fun game. trump is racist, though. he loves white nationalists. which is a weird term for a nazi.
calling a nazi is a white nationalist is like calling a pedophile a kid friend. or harvey weinstein a lady's man. which isn't really fair. he also likes plants. trump is also an idea guy. he's got loads of ideas. you've got to love him for that. he wants to give teachers guns. and i support that because then they can sell them for things they need like supplies. [ applause ] >> a lot of protractors. a lot of people want trump to be impeached. i do not. because just when you remember trump is awful, you remember mike pence. mike pence is what happens when andersson cooper isn't gay. mike pence is the kind of guy that brushes his teeth and then drinking orange juice and thinks
mmm! mike pence is also very anti-choice. he thinks abortion is murder, which first of all, don't knock it till you try it. and when you do try it, really knock it. you know, you've got to get that baby out of there. and yeah, sure, you can groan all you want. i know a lot of you are very anti-aborti anti-aborti anti-abortion, you know, unless it's the one you got for your secret mistress. it's fun how values can waiver. but good for you. mike pence is a weirdo, though. he's a weird little guy. he might -- he won't meet with other women without his wife present. when people first heard this, they were like that's crazy. but now in this current climate, they're like, that's a good witness. which of course brings me to the me too movement. it's probably the reason i'm here. they were like a woman is probably not going to jerk off
in front of anyone, right? and to that, i say, don't count your chickens. there's a lot of parties. now i've worked in a lot of male dominated fields before comedy. i worked at a tech company. and before that, i worked on wall street. and honestly, i've never really been sexual lly harassed. that being said, i did who, in bear sterns in 2008. although i haven't been sexually harassed, i've definitely been fucked. yeah, that whole company went down on me without my consent. and no man got in trouble for that one either. now things are changing, men are being held "able. you know, also franklin was ousted. that one really hurt liberals. but i believe it was the great ted kennedy who said it's okay
to hurt a woman. "ch "chappaquidick" in theatres now. i had a lot of jokes about cabinet members. i had to scrap all of those because everyone was fired. you guys go through more cabinet members than starbucks throws out black people. no, that's okay. we're having an afternoon. we just needed an afternoon. mitch mcconnell isn't here tonight. he had a prior engagement. he's finally getting his neck circumcised. mazal. paul ryan also couldn't make it. of course he's already been circumcised. unfortunately, while they were down there, they also took his balls. great acting, though, in that video.
republicans are easy to make fun of. it's like shooting fish in a chris christie. but i also want to make fun of democrats. democrats are harder to make fun of because you guys don't do anything. people think you might flip the house and senate this november, but you guys always find a way to mess it up. you're somehow going to lose by 12 points to a guy named jeff pedophile nazi doctor. oh, he's a dock top. kellyanne conway has the perfect last name for what she ds, conway. it's like if my name was michelle jokes frizzy hair small its. you guys have to stop putting
kellyanne on your shoes. -- shows. if you don't give her a platform, she has nowhere to lie. if a tree falls in the woods, how do we get kelly anne under that tree. i'm not suggesting she gets hurt. just stuck. stuck under a tree. incidentally, a tree fams in the woods is scott pruitt's definition of porn. we all have our kinks. there's also, of course, ivanka. she was supposed to be an advocate for women, but it turns out she's about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons. she's done nothing to satisfy women. so i guess like father like daughter. oh, you don't think he's good in bed, come on. she does clean up nice, though. ivanka cleans up nice.
she's the diaper genie of the administration. on the outside she looks sleek, but the inside, it's still full of shit. and of course, we have sarah huckabee sanders. we are graced with sarah's presence tonight. i have to say i'm a little star struck. i love you as aunt lydia in "the ha handmaid's tale." mike pence, if you haven't seen it, you would love it. every time sarah steps up to the podium, i get excited. i'm not really sure what we're going to get, you know? a press briefing, a bunch of lies lie s or divided to softball teams. it's shirts and skins, and this time don't be such a little bitch, jim acosta. i actually really like sarah. i think she's very resourceful. but she burns facts and then she
uses that ash to create a perfect smokey eye. like maybe she's born with it, maybe it's lice. it's probably lice. and i'm never really sure what to call sarah huckabee sanders. is it sarah handers, is it sarah huckabee sander, is it cousin huckabee, is it auntie huckabee sanders. what is uncle tom but for white women who disappoint other white women. i know. anne coulter. we've got our friends at cnn here. welcome guys. it's great to have you. you guys love breaking news. and you did it. you broke it. good work. the most useful information on cnn is when anthony bourdain tells me where to eat noodles.
fox news is here. so you know what that means, ladies. cover your drinks. seriously. people want me to make fun of sean hannity tonight, but i request not do that. this dinner is for journalists. we've got msnbc here. msnbc's news logan is this is who we are. guys, it's not a good slogan. this is who we are is what your mom thinks the sad show on nbc is called. did you watch "this is who we are" this week. someone left on a crockpot and everyone died. i watch "morning joe" every morning. we now know mika and joe is
engaged. congratulations, you guys. it's like when a me too works out. we also have rachel maddow. she's the peter pan of msnbc. but instead of never growing up, she never gets to the point. watching rachel maddow is like going to target. you went in for milk but you left with shampoo, candles, and the entire history of the byzantine empire. i didn't need this. and of course, megyn kelly, what would i do what about megyn kelly. probably be more proud of women. megyn kelly got paid $23 million by nbc. then nbc didn't leg megyn go to the winter olympics. why not? she's so white, cold and expensive, she might as well be the winter olympics. anticipate by the way, megyn,
santa is black. the weird old guy going through your chimney was bill o'reilly. you might want to put a flue on it or something. there's a lot of print media here. i'm not going to go after print immediate yao tonight because it's illegal to attack an endangered species. there's a ton of news right now. a lot is going on. we have all these 24 hour news networks and we could be covering everything, but instead we're covering, like, three topics. every hour it's trump, russia, hillary and a panel of four people that remind you of why you don't go home for thanksgiving. milk comes from nuts now. all because of the gays. you guys are obsessed with trump. did you used to date him? because you pretend like you hate him, but i think you love him. i think what no one in this room
wants to admit is that trump has helped all of you. he couldn't sell steaks or vodka or water or college or ties or eric, but he has helped you. he's helped you sell your papers and your books and your tv. you helped create this monster and now you're profiting off of him. and if you're going to profit off of trump, you should at least give him some money because he doesn't have any. trump is so broke -- >> how broke is he? >> he grabs pussies because he thinks there might be lose change in them. like an immigrant who was brought here by his parents and didn't do anything wrong, i've got to get the fuck out of here. good night! flint still doesn't have clean water. [ applause ]
>> ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for supporting the first amendment and the free press and we wish you a good night. thank you. >> all right. you've been listening to comedian michelle wolf, raucous and at some times raunchy. i was writing down a list. i don't know if you can see all the print here. it's two columns long of everyone she mentioned by name. >> i hope your boys were not awake for that. it was x-rated. >> she really did have a lot to say and a lot of people to go after. >> let's round robin. let's begin with you. new analysts, josh green, go.
>> i' been to stag parties that were more family friendly than that was. quite a performance. >> tiffany? >> i thought she was excellent. she made fun of democrats, made fun of republicans, made fun of hillary. i laughed outloud. i'm not so offended by raunchiness. i thought she was great. >> not in equal doses. >> fair, but i think donald trump gives her more material. >> seemed to be the me too movement was what she was kind of all about there. a lot of jokes for women. it was raunchy. reminds you kind of of chris rock. usually you don't think of chris rock hosting this. i think it was probably our most raw and probably the abortion line that she said is going to catch a lot of attention for being tasteless. but there's some great one-liners. she'll probably end up writing a book about how trump is so broke. that's a new setup line for the new knock knock jokes of our
era. >> abortion is in all of her routine. this was further in some ways than the jokes she makes many her routine. you said equal opportunity offender, i don't think she went after democrats with the same fur rosty as she did republicans. >> this is indicative of why a lot of middle americans, a lot of conservatives any hollywood elites and liberal media have left them behind. this is a perfect summation of the divide of people who voted for trump and those who did not. >> he was 234 washington township, michigan. >> she's a comedian. it's a light hearted event. i didn't think she really touched trump as hard as she could have. but i do think she made a good point about the media is the
biggest beneficiary of donald trump. that donald trump actually helps to sell the media. yes, we would be here if it was any other white house correspondent' dinner. donald trump is a yuan niek figure that people are mesmerized by, for good or bad. that has affted the media and coverage of him. >> i did not see you laugh once. i looked a the yo you are face every time. i did not see you crack a smile. >> but we know you do laugh. >> i have really good teeth and a great sense of humor. i found her to be vulgar and distasteful. i've been so offended since i heard a comedian call the president the n-word at the same dinner. >> two years ago. >> calling president barack obama the first african-american president the n-word. i thought her line talking about sarah sanders was horrible. and i think to carrie's point, this is why people look at this
in washington, michigan, and say that's what i'm talking about. that's d.c., that's the liberal media. that's what they do to the president. >> rick wilson, he did go after -- she did go after those very close and important to the president, like his daughter ivanka trump, for example. and we know how the president react whence those around him, his family remembers, are attacked. she did -- yes, it was a standup routine, but she went after them pretty hard. she equated ivanka trump to a diaper pale. >> i expected the whole thing to wrap up -- i call it the aristocrats. it was a pretty edgy piece. but on the other hand, left and right, both get in a moral pan nick this country over entertainers very frequently. whether it's her tonight or kanye. on both sides, we lose our minds over entertainer pchs. not many people in america are
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correspondent's center. this is the most difficult part of the evening. >> getting out? >> they won't get to a bar or home for several hours. it takes forever. michelle wolf delivered a performance that was up and down in that room. you could see people laughing hard in the building and in the middle they were not sure. you didn't research me before you invited me, did you? you didn't know what you were getting. josh green, see seemed to try to hit the president in his weakest of weak spots. she knows his bank account is what he may be most sensitive about and she had to refrain. trump is so broke, dot, dot, dot. what do you think would have happened had he been in the room? >> hard to imagine, but we know when trump was in the proroom h tends to sit there red faced, stone faced, not really laughing along the way the presidents are
orlando nearl expected to do. i don't imagine he would enjoy her her formance or found a lot of humor. >> when sarah sanders was the butt of the jokes, she was stone faced. she didn't appreciate. >> usually when you have the president there, there is some exceptions, but the comedian will take a little bit off. there have been exceptions in the past, but usually it's in the spirit of mocking humor. and president trump wasn't sitting there. >> she didn't take anything. >> it's interesting they did a profile and in it, there is limited value of cracking a bunch of jokes about mr. trump. she found value tonight. the app sit of given that interview. >> she was the butt of the
jokes, but the american people laugh in horror at some of the things she said. she states falsehoods from the podium and it has become okay to state these things that are emphatically not true and demon streabl false. if she can lie before the american people and she has to take a comedian calling her out to her face. >> you don't have to be mean. there is a line that comedians have to draw. you saw her go ever the things the president cared about. his finances, family and frepsd like kellyanne conway, sarah sanders and the vice president. she took it to a level that was offensive and mean. you can critique someone, but there is a level where you take it over the edge. >> to go after sarah sanders's weight.
this is the double standard and how we face attacks that are unprecedented from liberal men and women. from the left they say they want to empower women, but just not conservative women. >> we are in the middle of it and we are all either journalist or analysts and pick apart a comedy routine. they are two different things. where it all comes together, this happens in washington that is about journalisms about politics and it happened to be televised with raunchy langua. >> i didn't like everything she said. some of it wasn't funny. she is a comedian. that's a core point. we are analyzing it, but she did her job. it doesn't always succeed when you do comedy in front of an audience where people are trying to pick it apart. she was not as tough on donald
trump, but she was on sarah sanders and kellyanne conway. that's the easiest thing to do. >> she also talked about his sexual performance. >> she didn't say anything that anyone else has not already said. >> he's just an entertainer. there in lies the problem with how hollywood elites are so out of touch. you can't just laugh someone away. >> they are all way too serious. you know the rules. it's the big boy rules. you are going to get crap from the comedian and if the president is not there, it's going to roll downhill. >> let's find out how it played in the room. up next, we will speak to a couple of people. does did they laugh. the president made a number of headlines from the russia
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tonight. i think it was x rate and raunchy. it had us all at the edge of our seats. >> very controversial at this table and on social media. if you watched the faces of the people in the room, it was controversial inside there as well. let's watch a little bit of it now to get flavor for it. >> i'm wolf blitzer and i look like a guy rescueed from a snow cave just in time. president trump has been invited to the white house correspondent's dinner. will he decline or attend? >> i would look pretty thin skinned. only if i get two scoops of ice cream big enough to bend a shovel and use jeff besos as my napkin. am i going to harden my ego the moment i step off stage. >> i would be honored if you wore my clothes. >> is