tv AC360 The Stephen Colbert Interview CNN August 15, 2019 10:00pm-11:00pm PDT
♪ here i go again on my own ♪ goin' down the only road i've ever known ♪ ♪ like a drifter i was-- ♪ born to walk alone! ...barb! you left me hangin' on the high harmony there. if you ride, you get it. geico motorcycle. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more. welcome to this 360 special. stephen come bert started in improv, then becoming a regular corn on the daily show with jon stewart.
then came the colbert report. a satirical nightly talk show where he played an ultra conservative host. in 2015 he inherited the coveted late night spot on cbs where david letterman reigned for more than 20 years. he stopped playing a character and started being himself. after the 2016 election, stephen colbert really hit his stride as his show tried to make sense of the often nonsensical world of politics. the audience has responded and stephen colbert is now number one in late night television. there's a lot, though, you probably don't know about stephen colbert. his life and what he's been through. he is as intellectual and interesting as he is funny. over the next hour, you'll hear our "in depth" interview. ste steve stephen opens up about his life, his losses, his comedy and his faith. something i want to talk to you about --
>> the gotchas. >> i have this document here -- >> gotcha questions, yeah. >> let me ask you about stuff that was in the news, ken cuccinelli. >> oh, my god. i blame you for ken cuccinelli. >> he was on cnn. >> a lot, a lot. i didn't watch much when he was on because there's a certain -- i love your show, you know, every night i come home my wife and i have a glass of of wine, handful of nuts, watch a little anderson, go to bed. that's how i end my day. >> a harndful of nuts? >> i have to stay in the suit, i can't come home and binge out. >> right. >> there are a few panelists i have to skip over, i have to skip over some of the -- cuccinelli would be one of them. >> if any other person in an administration, prior administration had rewritten the words of emma lazarus's poem, which presidents from time immemorial have quoted with great reverence, it would be an outrage. it would be -- people's heads would explode understandably
because it is a fundamental bed rock marker of who we are. >> yes. there is our physical constitution and then there is our physical bill of rights and certainly there's the physical declaration of independence, but there is also this emotional constitution that america has. there is an emotional reality that we all share that makes us all americans, and one of them is things like the new colassus on the statue of liberty. we're constantly being told by this administration, you don't see what you see, you don't hear what you hear. now they're saying you don't feel what you feel. you don't actually feel that. you don't actually believe that this is a nation of immigrants. >> you called president trump i think a heretic -- >> heretic to reality. raised a catholic. the greatest sin is actually heresy because not only do you -- not only are you a astray from the right path, you're
inright path, you're encouraging other people to come with you on that path. proselytizing for the devil. i think it's red hot iron coffins in dante's inferno, dis, the level of hell they're in. it's pretty bad. >> doesn't get much worse. >> the worst spa treatment. and he, our president, wants to live in a fantasy world where only the way he perceives the world is the way it is, only things that serve his vision, and he's also trying to convince us that that is the only world that exists. it's extremely sole existent, but he's also trying to invite us into this madness that he has, that's heresy against reality. that is proselytizing for the most selfish and the base est instinction that the american people like all people have, but he is not appealing to the better angels of our nature. >> i've heard you say the thesis of your show has become essentially, hey, you're not
crazy. >> right, right. the audience is not crazy. how you feel is actually how you feel. how you think is how you think. what you see is actually happening. what you hear is actually what he said. >> and i do think that's parliament of the appeal with news and what we do every night, you know, people at a certain point get exhausted and -- >> i don't know how you do it. let me ask you a question. how do you do it every night? because i have the relief of doing jokes. >> right. >> and i'm not taking anything away from the ridiculous. please understand that. ouch. you know. how do you keep going? >> even though you're in comedy, though, you are still doing the same pace that we are in news. >> we do five nights a week, an hour a night. >> in comedy, you normally -- people spend all day or in some cases if they only have one show a week, all week writing the material and thinking it and honing it. you have to change stuff 15
minutes before air, 5 minutes before air. >> right. we have an idea what the show is going to be in the morning after we do the pitch meeting in this room. we have some sense of like what the things people are talking about, because we want to talk about what people are talking about . . i'm not here to educate the audience, i'm here to give an opinion. it's like a long editorial is what it is. and that could all be thrown out the window even though we have a plan starting at 10:30 in the morning, we have a general plan. many is the time, as you know, and it's only accelerating. >> right. >> at 4:30, when i go on at 5:30. 4:40, 4:45. chopper talk. >> chopper talk? >> chopper talk. the president is standing in front of marine one. we call it chopper talk. he should just stand in front of like a margarita maker because it's the same noise. at least there will be a cocktail at the end of it. >> i don't hear you, you see that? you have a helicopter. >> oh. oh, really?
that? oh, that's a helicopter? i thought that was the sound of your presidency going down the toilet. i wasn't sure. >> the pace of it, i do think -- i think about the people who work in the white house. i think president trump, you know, dorothy parker said those find it boring, i don't know why he was born to the storm, emotionally the chaos is -- >> he creates his own storm. >> he's lived his own life in. >> he takes a big bucket of sea water and goes, i'm a sea captain. ride it out, boys. throw me another bucket. he wants it. >> i always think everybody around him just how exhausting it must be to be in that orbit. they choose to be -- >> like every person who leaves goes, god, it was crazy in there. >> rick wilson, a republican strategist we have on the show, everything trump touches dies. >> yes. >> and i actually think -- i think it's a really interesting title. it sort of reminds me of rogue
and x men, everything she touches sucks the lifeblood out of you and kills you. do you ever worry about that? >> about what? >> the thing about rogue is it's not just people that she kissed who die. it's people who go against her, and there are many people who have already destroyed themselves because they've so gone after trump that they themselves, it blows back -- they've gone down to his level -- >> i'm not going against him. i am not the resistance. i said this i think the first night after he was elected. i think it was the next day, because there were like -- remember there were -- the next dy, a little too late, there were marches in all the streets. people are like wait, no, we care. a day after it mattered. and i think what i said at the top of the monologue, we're not the re -- this is not the resistance, this is alternative programming because i could foresee the madness and the heart break associated with that guy being in a very important
moral position. and so what we want to do is to point and laugh at what he thinks is his own unassailable dignity that he thinks he gets from that office. but that's not resistance, that's laughing. i'm not a political figure. >> but it is interesting because the whole notion of people laughing at him is something he has brought up time and time again. i mean, i'm sure you've done mond montages of this. it is a recurring theme to say under obama the world was laughing at us. they're not laughing any more. they're not laughing now. >> they are laughing, exactly. >> but he says this -- i mean, you can go back and find a dozen easily references to the people aren't laughing at us any more. it is very important to him in his mind that he's not being laughed at, which is why probably your show, he has described you as saying filthy
things. >> yeah, exactly. that's the most i've been able to get to say about me. does he tweet about you? >> so far he has not. >> i have yet to get him to tweet about me once. yeah, my feelings are a little hurt. >> the guy at cbs -- what a low life, what a low life. i mean, this guy on cbs has no talent. >> hey, mr. president, i will not stand here and let you talk that way about james corden. >> one of the things i read that your mom used to say to you as a kid was to -- with any hardship you were going through, to view it in the light of eternity. >> yes. >> i found it interesting. i've been thinking about it for the last couple days since i read that. how do you think, i won't say eternity, but history is going to view this president? >> poorly. >> you have no doubt about that? >> oh, no. no, no, no.
>> oftentimes a president leaves, he's not popular. george w. bush left with low ratings, i guess you'd say, or opinion polls. now he's viewed much different -- much more different. >> i question your research on that one. he's not actually -- >> compared to trump? >> well, sure. well, sure. i mean, if our next president is a single-celled organism, trump is going to look great, you know? some sort of slime mold. yeah -- no, i don't think so. i'm all-in chips are all-in on this not being a good one.
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hi. maria ramirez! mom! maria! maria ramirez... mcdonald's is committing 150 million dollars in tuition assistance, education, and career advising programs... prof: maria ramirez mom and dad: maria ramirez!!! to help more employees achieve their dreams. there's a belief among some democrats and i guess maybe even a few republicans appearing on tv there will reach a critical mass where people will have had enough. >> i think we vote in 2020 and we find out some more about our country. we found out something interesting about our country in
2016, and i think we find out every so often in presidential elections there's a large group of americans -- and i don't even think it's necessarily democrat or republican. there's a large number of people who think the president should be a complete jerk. he shouldn't be somebody that you necessarily admire. it should be, look i there's somebody willing to work on the dark side and get things done. >> i also think there's people who just like the fact that he's -- that you're upset about him and that we're covering him and -- >> sure, i'm familiar with the term drinking liberals tears. that seems like a huge price to pay to -- >> he's a tough guy that doesn't take any duff, he's not politically correct. there is an element of people who like that. they can't be that way in their own life. >> policy positions. people who perhaps for real reasons think that they have been made to suffer in some way, and then they use him as a tool
to inflict suffering on others so we're all even. zero sum. >> max wrote about this recently. conservatives used to make fun of liberals for victimhood, they were always portraying themselves as victims according to conservatives. now, don't trump -- he is promoting a sense of victimhood that is -- seems appealing to a lot of people listening to him. >> that he and they are being discriminated, he's such a strong christian as he told chris cuomo once after a debate. that's why the irs is auditing him allegedly -- no proof actually offered. >> sure. >> i agree with you that is one of the appeals of donald trump, is that there are people who feel that -- strangely feel that they are like him or he is like them, when i don't know anyone like him. but he says you and me are the
same, and i am being victimized, therefore i understand your experience. but, a, he's not being victimized and he's not like no one. he's born with a gold spoon in his mouth. maybe he is like everybody else. i suppose people have a commonality. the odd thing about the president, we know nothing about him. we don't know his -- we don't know stupid things. we don't know school grades, we don't know his actual skin color. we don't know what his actual hair is like. we don't know what he's worth. we don't know anything about his conversations with other world leaders. we don't know anything about him. that's the odd part. for a guy who always likes to have a camera pointed at him and talk about himself, there's very little we can say about him with certainty. >> on a serious level, does it worry you -- because it worries me about abnormal behavior being normalized. >> of course, that was the first worry. >> the daily repetition of this stuff, after awhile you start to think, okay, it's normal that he is just accused the clintons of being involved in the killing of jeffrey epstein, even if it was just in a retweet. >> right.
every so often metaphorically we have to pull over the car of our show, get out and just take a breath and go, where are we now? you know, because we have to be -- you have to remain shocked. you have to be reminded that something -- you have to remind yourself this is insane. >> of course, trump is lying in that tweet, and here's how you know. he's the one saying it. >> the power of repetition is that it becomes the normal thing. >> right. >> and that's -- i mean, he's really good at marketing. he's really good at marketing a single idea over and over again. >> yes. >> i'm sure the challenge for real news is to fact-check him more than twice. because the third fact check sounds like ures being -- >> petty. >> a little bitchy. we already went over this. he'll never stop. ♪ ♪
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if it's connected, it's protected. call, click, or visit a store today. would you want to have trump on your show again? >> can i suggest something? can i suggest something? how about two walls, okay, each of them -- >> connected? >> no, not connected. two walls, one here, one there, in between, a moat. >> and a nice resort. >> filled with fire. >> oh, yeah. >> the quick answer would be no, because it would be hard for me to be properly respectful of the office, because i think that he is so disrespectful of the office it's very hard to perceive him as i would want to perceive a president in terms of the status and dignity and the representation of the united states. so for safety sake it wouldn't
be a good idea. >> obviously all the democratic candidates are being asked do they believe trump is a white nationalist, white supremacist. how do you answer that question? >> a, i'm not running for president. b, he calls himself a nationalist and he thinks we should have more people from norway unless peop norway and less people from african countries. it's a fair equation to say that's white nationalism. >> you knew what the show was going to be before you started. everybody dz. >> i kind of, kind of had an idea. >> the thing people do not understand about starting a show is it becomes something, whatever you think it's going to be, you don't really know until you actually start -- >> mike tyson said it best. everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face. that's what it is. >> it's true. and you are doing it without a net in front of -- you know, everybody is commenting on it. >> sure. >> but, yeah. it does seem like you found the
mission, the thesis, you did the live show on showtime on election night. >> yeah. >> that, to me that seemed the turning point. in your mind was it or had you already been thinking -- >> no. that was significant because -- that was significant in a way as a performer because the last 11 minutes or so, something like that, is largely improvised -- or i'm just speaking. >> i think we can agree this has been an absolute exhausting, bruising election for everyone. >> yeah, that's right. >> and it has come to an ending that i did not imagine. we all now feel the way rudy giuliani looks. >> what that was, completely emotionally raw. and i think it's important for the audience to know that you're not lying to them, or you're not selling them a bill of goods. doesn't mean like every night is a confession. it just means there is some emotional truth to what you're talking about. >> i also think the camera is a piece of glass and it transmits
truth and authenticity. people know who is bull shut and who is not. >> right. that moment i had -- i just ran out of bull shut. not that i was trying to bull shut the audience, it was such a stunning event that it was not necessarily impossible to me that that would happen, you know. we, we considered it. i just knew if it happened that i would have a roomful of very upset people and i didn't really want to engage in a bunch of yuck them up. we'll just improvise and that's what we ended up having to do. that led to an authentic response that i think people responded to. that's not when i found the show. we found the show months before. you first start a show, people sample and then kind of run away. we worked our way back to the show we wanted to do. we're going to talk about what just happened. what is the national conversation, what is our opinion from an emotional point of view hopefully with some emotional truth, because it is on some level an art.
about what everybody is talking about today. my fear was that, even though i think we had found it, mostly to the live shows because media leads to authenticity, you know? even doing a scene fast if you're an actor brings some sort of reality to it. my concern was that no one would ever come back to see if we found it. we could have actually found the whole treasure and nobody was like -- there's nothing down that cave. and that night, i think, what made enough of a splash that people went, oh, they're doing something interesting now. that was an expression of something we had already found. it wasn't the new thing. and then the show basically got people -- it built an audience again between that and inauguration day. by inauguration day, people, i think, were hungry for someone talking about what was happening on a daily basis immediately because the news cycle had happened so fast.
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you wrote me a letter after my mom died. and in it you said, i hope you find peace in your grief. and one of the things i've been thinking a lot about is how we don't really talk about grief and loss. people aren't comfortable talking about it. and one of the things i found in the last two months since my mom died is people coming up to me on the street or reaching out to me in instagram or wherever, and sharing their grief and sharing their loss with me. and i found that the most helpful thing. i found it to be the most powerful and moving thing. and i kind of oddly don't want that to stop because in regular times people don't do that. >> right. >> and you've spoken very publicly about what you experienced as a kid, and i just -- a lot of it i didn't know. i think a lot of people don't
know. so if you don't mind, i wanted to talk to you a little bit about it and sort of how it has shaped who you are now. your dad was killed on a plane crash. you were ten years old along with your two brothers peter and paul. they were the closest brothers to you in age. >> right, there's jimmy and eddy, jay, lou-lou and steven. i'm the youngest of 11. >> my dad died when i was young, too, and it's such a horrible age to lose a father. i can't imagine losing both my brothers at the same time as well. for me losing my dad then, it changed the trajectory of my life. i'm a different person than i was meant to be. there are times -- yeah, i remember when i was 10, i felt like i marked time, and to this days i mark time between while my dad was alive and after. it's like the new year, zero.
when pau pot took over cambodia. >> yeah, there's another guy, there's another steve. there's steve kolbert, the father before my father and brothers died. i have fairly vivid memories from when they died to the present. it's continuous and contiguous. it is a' all connected. there is this big break in the cable of michael finney memory at their death. everything before that has got an odd, ghostly -- >> we use shards of glass. >> flashes, little bits of it. and then the things that really -- like music, because they died in september. they died on september 11. they died september 11, 1974. and the music from that summer leading up to it, will undo me in an instant. you know, the song of the summer was "band on the run."
do not play "band on the run" around me. yes -- you become a different person. i was personally shattered. i was shattered and then you kind of reform yourself in this quiet grieving world that was created in the house. my mother had me to take care of, which i think was sort of a gift for her, a sense of purpose at that point because i was the last child. but i also had her to take care of and it became a very quiet house and very dark. and ordinary concerns of childhood suddenly kind of disappeared. i became -- i won't say mature, because that actually was kind of delayed by the death of my father, by sort of restarting at 10. but i had certainly a different point of view than the children around me. >> there was a writer, mary
gordon, who were follow the girls. my mom quoted it all the time, i think it applies to girls. i'll paraphrase, follow a child, all things possible, nothing is safe. i never really understood it when my mom would say it when i was young. i've come to understand it -- >> all things are possible in both the positive and negative. >> correct. great things can happen, the phone can ring and your whole life can change for better or worse. or -- but i became what i refer to jokingly as a catastrophist. i didn't want to be surprised and hurt again so i plunged head first into the things that scared me most. i would take a survival course in the wilderness. >> did not have that reaction. i read a lot of science fix. that was my reaction. >> i heard you say you do believe in, like, pushing toward things you are afraid of. you've talked about standing in an elevator and making it -- and
having an awkward experience intentionally. >> that's awkwardness. i suppose there's fear involved in that, but -- so your dad dies and your brothers who are almost as big as your dad because they're your older brothers -- they hung the moon, in your mind. so suddenly this important thing disappears and important things suddenly lose some of their power. supposedly important things. doesn't mean you love your dad or brothers any less, but things supposedly have status don't have status any more. and so be willing to be ridiculous, or not worrying what people thought of your status. suddenly became easier, and actually sort of the bits of embarrassment you might feel about being ridiculous in public, like singing out loud in an elevator full of strangers, which is an awkward and embarrassing thing to do. i would do it on purpose to get that feeling of embarrassment or
kind of destruction of personal status, that protective feeling that you have to stay straight and to stay sort of in control or well thought of. i would purposefully embrace that awkward moment of embarrassment. it would run through me like an electric current. and i like that feeling. i think it has something to do with not thinking that anything is important, including my own embarrassment. >> i know you've said -- >> that's related to status right now. >> i know you've said school suddenly didn't seem important -- >> no, that was like a great -- i was like a golden child in terms of my school when i was -- after that i was forget it. >> you were reading a book a day at home. >> what i wanted to read, though. i was escaping into fantasy and science fiction. science fiction first and fantasy later as a token. >> when you lost your two brothers, your dad and the boys as i know you refer to them -- >> it was always dad and the boys. that's how they were called, dad
and the boys. peter and paul, dad and the boys. i know most of your other siblings had already left, they were in college, or had families of their own. it was you and your mom. >> for the most part. >> that is a difficult thing. >> yes. >> my mom, i got to talk to howard stern about this as well. howard stern said he always felt like he had to treat his mom like a china cup -- china tea cup. i always viewed my mom as a space alien who had landed on this planet and whose ship was immobilized and i had to protect her and show her how to live in this world. and i felt that until the day she died. and now i look back at it and i realize one of my mom's greatest strengths, as a kid drove me bananas, was how despite -- despite tragedies and losses, she was -- she consciously chose to remain open and vulnerable
and optimistic and believing the best in, like, everybody she met. and i felt like, okay, she can do that because i'm, you know, running interference and scheming and plotting, you know, willing to do -- >> any chance she was doing it because you were there and needed a good example? >> i don't think in those terms, to be honest. i'm not going to go that far. she wasn't -- your mom i think was very parental. my mom was more -- she was, you know, an amazing creature, but -- >> well, because my mom was so shattered by the loss, not destroyed, but shattered by the loss, we used to joke that i raised my mom after the age of 10. >> right. i completely understand. >> a child in some ways is struck in a different way, but a child is also resilient. their world view is not fully formed. now my world view includes dad and the brothers dying.
that's part of the world view. my age now, wi which was the agy father and mother were when he died. i'm not sure i could be as resilient. i don't entirely know how she -- how she did it. i have a friend who lost someone recently, lost a child. she said, how did your mother do this? i said, i wish she was here to tell you. but it had to do with -- had to do with love and it had to do with her loving god. and i have the crucifix on my wall. that was hers. i inherited it when she died. and she would pray to our lady and say, she knows what it is to lose a child. and her example of her faith stays with me, and that is -- we're asked to accept the world that god gives us and to accept it with love, you know.
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it's one of the things i have been touched by and sort of healed by the last two months, is just people having real conversations with me about loss and grief and their pain. and i find it, you know, i'm at a loss -- we're taught to push all our emotions deep down inside and pretend everything is great. but it's nice to actually kind of relate to somebody on that and talk about something other than this -- >> i think when you meet someone who has had a loss, you have two options. one is to say, i'm sorry for your loss, which is a perfectly lovely thing to do. but if you can share your experience, then they're not alone. >> it's always interesting to me how when you -- i bring it up, meeting somebody for the first time, and they say oh, i'm sorry to bring it up, you know. as if -- what they don't
realize, i'm thinking about it all the time. it is as you said -- >> exactly. >> it's one of my arms -- it is an extension of who i am. >> quite possibly for the rest of your life. >> without a doubt. it's been 31 years since my brother died, more since my dad. there is not a day that goes by i don't think about it. >> to the point i think, why is nobody asking me about this? my brothers died 45 years ago and sometimes i go like, how come nobody is asking me about paul? how would they know to ask? they don't know i'm thinking about him. >> right. and they would be uncomfortable to ask. this is actually going to sound weird, but for a long time, and probably still to this day, wish that i had a scar. i wish i had like a scar -- >> harry potter. >> more like -- running down my face that's unavoidable for people to see because it would sort of -- it would just be a silent signal to everybody i meet that i'm not the person i
was meant to be or i'm not the person that i started out being. >> but you're entirely the person you were meant to be. >> i don't know. maybe not. maybe this is a warped version of -- >> so there's another time line with a happier anderson cooper? >> yes -- i mean, no, doesn't exist in the alternate universe, but yes, i guess -- >> that is what i mean by -- >> fate. >> that's what i mean from my example of my mother and what i experience from my particular faith. extremely imperfectly, admittedly, is that there isn't another time line and this is it, and the bravest thing you can do is to accept with gratitude the world as it is, and then, you now, as gandolf says, so do all people who are in such times. >> you told an interviewer that you have learned to, in your words, love the thing i most
wish had not happened. i remember -- you went on to say what punishments of god are not gifts. do you really believe that? >> yes. it's a gift to exist. it's a gift to exist. and with existence comes suffering. there's no escaping that. and i guess i'm either a catholic or a buddhist when i say those things because i've heard those from both traditions. but i didn't learn it, that i was grateful for the thing i most wish hadn't happened, is that i realized it. and it's an oddly guilty feeling. >> it doesn't mean -- >> i don't want it to have happened. i want it to not have happened. >> right.
>> but if you are grateful for your life, which i think is a positive thing to do -- not everybody is and i'm not always. but it's the most positive thing to do. then you have to be grateful for all of it. you can't pick and choose what you're grateful for. and then -- so what do you get from loss? you get awareness of other people's loss. >> that's true. >> which allows you to connect with that other person, which allows you to love more deeply and to understand what it's like to be a human being if it's true that all humans suffer. >> right. >> and so at a young age, i suffered something so that by the time i was in serious relationships in my life with friends or with my wife or with my children, is that i somehow understand that everybody is suffering. and however imperfectly, acknowledge their suffering and to connect with them and to love them in deep way that not only accepts that all of us suffer, but also that makes you grateful for the fact that you have
suffered. so that you can know that about other people. that's what i mean. it's about the fullness of what's the point of being here and being human if you can be be the most human you can be. being grateful for the things i wish didn't happen. >> my mom said i never asked why me. she would always say, why not me? why would me be exempt from what has befallen countless others over the centuries. i think that's another thing that has helped me think, yeah, of course, why not me. this is part of being alive. this is the suffering is, you know, the sadness, suffering, these are all, you know, you can't have happiness without
having loss and suffering. >> and in my tradition that's the great gift of the sacrifice of christ is that god does it, too, that you're really not alone. god does it, too. >> i heard you say something once, you said that you don't proselytize because -- something about it was that you don't proselytize, more jesus for me. >> i don't really proselytize. i don't necessarily want to make anybody from my point of view, more jesus for me. here at the old heaven buffet, though i don't actually -- i don't even have a well defined enough cosmology to have a sense of what's going to happen. but i want to talk about that gifts of god, what punishments of god are not gifts. i'm quoting tolkien there, that's not me. there are elves and men, the one
god within the tolkien mythos. >> and the elves live forever. >> who do we know is an expert of "lord of the rings"? when i spend my entire years. i knew i was preparing myself for something. why else would i abandon all my classwork and sports? and achieve a paleness i have yet to shake off? >> your mom was an actress. >> yes, she was going to carnegie. >> she was then in haiti for reasons i'm not sure -- >> i think it was haiti. it was in the caribbean. >> and she got really sick with a tropical disease. >> she got like classical like a rare tropical disease, almost like a cartoon of a disease and she almost died.
>> in that process of recovery ended up -- >> my dad said will you marry me and instead of having an acting career, she started her own theater company, which was 11 children. >> that's how it was. did her desire to act, which was then given up to have this family, was that something that you absorbed? >> it seems obvious that that would be one of my motivators, that me with my mom/lord buddy in a way, we became very close friends, that i would do this in some way for her, but it's self-evident, right? did not occur to me. did not occur to me for many years. it really wasn't until she died that i realized a lot of what i did was still going back to making her happy if from those early years after dad and the boston died. we remember distinctly when she left for the first time. it was like a year later, something like that. but that's inside of you as a young person.
you absorb that and digest that but aren't necessarily aware of that until much later. when my sister mary said a very interesting thing after mom died is that we were all going through this normal grief of my mother's death and, as i said, after she died like we were so lucky to have her for so long -- >> she was 92 you said. >> 92, exactly. it might seem selfish to want more of someone you've known so long but it merely amplifies the enormity of the room, whose door is now so quietly shut. you can't ever open that door again. on top of that we realized, oh, now we also lost dad and the boys. her because of her loss for her
husband and children. when she went, she kind of took them with her in a way. so we all, or at least i and i talked to a couple of my brothers and sister about this but i assume it's a fairly general thing, kind of reexperience that and there had been this delayed dealing over 40-plus years. i realized in that moment, oh, damn, i wonder if i want to still do comedy because i kind of was doing this for her. still enjoying it and having the love and friendship and camaraderie of it. but it was to make her laugh. and tomorrow. because when you're with fidelity, there's nothing to stop you from moving forward. he borrowed billions with fidelity, donald trump failed as a businessman. and left a trail of bankruptcy and broken promises. he hasn't changed. i started a tiny investment business, and over 27 years, grew it successfully to 36 billion dollars. i'm tom steyer and i approve this message. i'm running for president because unlike other candidates, i can go head to head with donald trump on the economy,
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can you love your enemies? can you love the people you dislike? >> you certainly should. you certainly should. >> i don't know. >> i suppose you can. i've seen people do it. >> do you try? >> i don't hate. i try not to hate. people have come on the show and said i know you hate trump. i'm like, no, i just don't trust the cat. and yeah, i just said cat, daddio, can you dig it? are you hip to that scene,