tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central June 28, 2011 1:00pm-1:30pm PDT
thank you very much. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com >> june 27, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday like every year in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a
peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get married. ( applause )
really? the nuptials are in stam forward? mmmm. yes, it was last friday night at 10:30 p.m. eastern gay rights time after a week of tense negotiations and protests featuring brutal gay versus jew bull fighting, the senate in al bany finally made an honest state of new york by a vote of 33 for destroying society as we know it and 29 against. the vote was in doubt right up until the last minute. as of thursday, the state senate was dead locked 31-31. marriage rights supporters had to find at least one more republican to flip. and then up stepped mark grisanti, state senator from buffalo, who had run on a platform of banning gay marriage. here's what he had to say. >> as a catholic i was raised to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. >> jon: so we'll move on from there. maybe they'll find a vote from someone who doesn't appear to be on elliott ness's enemy
list. >> i cannot legally come up with an argument against same sex marriage. who am i to say that someone does not have the same rights that i have with my wife who i love or to have the 1300-plus rights that i share with her? i vote in the affirmative, mr. president. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: you know what? i'm so impressed. in honor of this man, in honor of this great man, i will no longer do my offensive italian new yorker voice. for as long as... because it's not often you see this son of a b... the courage that this mother (beep), the giant (beep) hanging over this man like bocce balls on a summer afternoon. i'm sorry. it's very hard not to do the voice. it's a very fun voice.
so with support of grisanti and his fellow republican steven salan gay marriage passed and of course you know with that means. >> the city estimates the new law will bring more than $180 million to the state in the next three years. >> jon: ladies and gentlemen, all right. also cashing in the perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand tuxedos. all the elegance of a tuxedo but with the flattering physique. >> (cat yowling). >> jon: indeed. fray fry's decision brings the total number of states permitting gay marriage to 7. 41 other states still have laws on the books explicitly banning same sex marriage. it's why many gay activists are looking for federal action to achieve national marriage equality. last thursday barack obama addressed that very question. >> i have long believed that the so-called defense of marriage act ought to be repealed. >> jon: hear, hear, yeah!
i assume the president's problem with the defense of marriage act is that it should be a federal law in support of gay marriage. >> part of the reason that doma doesn't make sense is that traditionally marriage has been decided by the states. (audience groaning). >> jon: really? the gentleman with mixed race parents playing the states no best card. you know, when i was born... ( cheers and applause ) when i was born my parents' marriage would have been illegal in florida and virginia. so different strokes. of course the implications of legalizing gay marriage can be hard to fully understand unless perhaps you have a correspondent who was in musical theater.
we sent our own josh gad from the book of mormon out to make sense of this landmark legislation. >> reporter: the legalization of gay marriage means one thing. super bowl hero david tiree. >> this will be the beginning of our country sliding toward, you know, it's a strong word but anarchy. >> reporter: now everyone from al bany to rochester will have to deal with what people here in this city have long had to accept as part of their daily lives. traffic snarls. sailors gone awol. >> it's like an average day in the gay community. isn't snit. >> no. this is a very special day that we have. >> reporter: sir, may i ask you a quick question. how is this not like the apocalypse? >> this is a (beep) parade, dude. >> reporter: it reminds me a bit of that passage from revelation.
i saw a horse and its rider was wearing a jock strap and hell followed. >> i don't read the bible. >> reporter: it's in there, page 42. >> what kind of parade is in store for tomorrow? >> i don't think any other parade because we have pride only once a year. >> reporter: you're saying this is the parade but in reality the st. patrick's day parade is a very accurate portrayal of how irish people behave everyday. >> i wouldn't say that at all. >> reporter: i would. >> because some of the people who are out making a mess on st. patrick's aren't even irish. >> reporter: but irish people are always getting drunk and vomiting and inside subway stations. take a good look, upstate. normal respectable people like this will have nowhere to turn. are you worried about the repercussions of gay marriage? >> yeah, i'm one of those people. >> reporter: are you gay? >> i'm gay. >> reporter: i fish with guys like you. >> thanks. we look like other people. >> reporter: amazing. you're not gay.
>> they're gay and i'm gay. >> reporter: really? david tiree. david, tiree super bowl hero bravely showing his face at gay pride parade. unbelieve al. it's become clear to me that you're not actually david tiree even though i was on broadway once they found out i was a.... >> i loved you in the book of mormon. too bad you didn't win. >> reporter: are you from the book of mormon? oh, my god. >> reporter: all right. i hope you guys have fun (beep) yourselves. it became clear that no one, not even this intrepid reporter, was immune from their takeover. >> i think that new york is a part of the world right now. new york is going to still be new york. just a part of everything else. >> reporter: really? >> yes. >> reporter: then how did this happen? three minutes ago i was
let me tell you this. the marriage equality act passing in new york wasn't the only bit of good news here this weekend. take a look at this. >> up next, setting the record straight about our interview last week with jon stewart. >> jon: yes! finally. ( applause ) let me tell you what's going on. i do an interview with chris wallace. i mentioned fox news viewers were the most consistently misinformed viewers in every poll. politifact said i shouldn't have said every poll. just most. i brought up a 21 lie salute of politifact spot fact checking so i assume that chris wallace now begins the work of apologizing for fox's many false and misleading statements. probably do a blooper show and carry us into the 2014 midterm s with a clear conscious. >> do you believe that fox news is exactly the ideological equivalent... of nbc news. >> i think we're the
counterweight. i think they have a liberal agenda. i think we tell the other side of the story. jon seemed to think that was a big deal that i said we tell the other side of the story. i wish i had said the full story. here's what i meant. >> jon: wait. that was a big deal that you said that. that's your setting the record straight? i accidentally told the truth and wish i could take it back? you're not the... ( cheers and applause ) that's crazy. how are you not the counterweight? >> let me give you a classic example of what fair and balanced means to me. after hurricane katrina, the mainstream media piled on fema for its failure to respond to the crisis. and the federal government did a lousy job. but it was fox news that started reporting on the failure of the first responders, the city of new orleans and the state of louisiana to help people. yes, we reported fema's problems but we also told the other side of the story. >> jon: that's your example?
you had a week to prepare an example and you came up with in 2005 everyone was (beep) on the republicans and we made sure they understood that local louisiana democrats (beep) too. i mean, just out of curiosity in your week of digging for that, did you find it on thursday or friday or was it broadcast news where joan sprinted in during the show countdown, "i found one." here's what i'll do. i'll find something. here's what i'll do. i'll find something maybe more from the recent past that i think tells the fuller story. it's not crazy. mother says i'm crazy to have these books but i don't think it's crazy. i think it's smart to have these books. here's one. here's one. brett bear's show. that's on the news side. they were reporting on the crazy atf operation that allowed mexican drug cartels to purchase automatic weapons into america and sell them back to mexico. >> some say it was innocent.
others believe it was allowed to happen to justify tougher gun laws in the u.s. >> jon: did you see that? he just threw it right in there. president obama is either incompetent making an innocent mistake or the architect of an evil conspiracy to wreak violent carnage in mexico as a way to take away america's guns. you know, both sides of the story. who said that nerk america was involved in this type of conspiracy that, if true, could openly lead to the impeachment of a president? who said it? >> others. >> jon: of course chris wallace's main claim to credibility was this. >> as we showed today we don't go easy on republicans. >> jon: that at least for one hour of fox's 168 hours of programming a week, really, it's three hours because it's repeated twice. mother said it's crazy to watch it like that but i don't think it's crazy. i think watching it at 2:00 and 6:00 when it's repeated is actually the right way to do it.
i wonder. i wonder. i wonder if the fact that i make fun of democrats would then be proof that i'm not biased. >> am i an activist in your mind. >> yeah. >> then i disagree with you. i absolutely disagree with you that that's the case. i don't think.... >> i think you take shots at... although i think it's to maintain credibility and you're not as comfortable with it. you take shots at obama and at the liberals. you like to make fun of conservatives. >> jon: do you see the game? i make fun of conservatives or republicans because i'm a liberal partisan ideologue. i make fun of liberals or democrats because i want as part of my brilliant yet cynical strategy to maintain enough credibility to continue making fun of conservatives and republicans. and that narrative of conservative victimization is the true genius of what fox news has accomplished. any editorial judgment in news or schools or movies that doesn't favor the conservative view is elitism and is
evidence of liberal bias. whereas any editorial judgment that favors the conservative view is evidence of merely of fairness and done to protect them from liberal bias. and if you criticize fox for this game, guess what that is evidence of? how right they are about how persecuted. it is airtighter than an otter's anus. don't ask me how i know that. they can't lose. but you know what this whole victim thing makes fox? perhaps this term a friend of mine used once to describe our current presidential administration is most apt. >> they are the biggest bunch of cry babies i have dealt with in my 0 years in washington. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: we'll be right back.
( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight. >> this isn't working. i'm sorry. >> you know what? i think i can make out our little friend right there. >> can we stop doing this thing here? >> why? >> because you're the girlfriend. >> she's not just my girlfriend anymore. we're engaged now. >> what? >> jon: welcome back to the show jennifer aniston. ( cheers and applause )
>> jon: very nice to see you. >> very nice to see you. >> jon: what's happening? >> as always. nothing. i'm just sort of strolling around new york city. >> jon: promoting some movies. >> sell ago movie. >> jon: people are saying your character is a little more raunchy, a little harder edge, a bit of a departure. clearly they did not see marlee and me. >> especially on the.... >> jon: because you in that.... >> it was crazy. >> jon: vicious. >> there was a lot of editing room floor that they could not put in. >> jon: that's exactly right. >> raunchy. >> jon: in this thing, it's about a dentist that is sexually harassing her employees. is sexual harassment of your employees, is that frowned upon now because.... >> why? >> jon: i also have one of those dentist squirters in my office. whenever anybody comes in. >> male or female?
>> jon: it really is just jewish or christian. see which is which. >> that's interesting. what other dent many tools do you have. >> jon: can i tell you something, i am still at this age not a big fan of going to the dentist. >> nobody is. >> jon: they've gotten much better. my kids don't have the same hang-up about it as i do. >> see what's happening. what are they doing differently these days. >> jon: do you think they're banging while my kids are out? that's the craziest thing i've ever heard. just opening up a highlights magazine and going to town. >> my dentist plays the guitar for me when i'm... when i have like molds in my mouth. literally while something is... i mean it's odd. but it's the truth. >> jon: why doesn't he do like dental (beep) while you're... why is he playing.... >> don't ask. it's hollywood. >> jon: he puts all that stuff in your mouth and goes, you know, i have a new cd?
>> i'm not kidding. he plays... and you can't get out of the chair so you're sort of stuck listening to it. not that it's not good or anything by the way. >> jon: the important thing.... >> lovely. >> jon: inflame your dentist the next time you're in the chair. is he playing dentist music like a certain.... >> he's playing music he's learned. he literally learned to play the guitar like seven years ago which i've been going to him for 15 years. it's quite impressive. he's really good. >> jon: so one day... and i hate to stick to this but one day he said jennifer i have a surprise for you. >> yes. >> jon: and he pulled out a guitar. were you nervous that he was about to propose? did you think, guitar? >> no, i didn't think that because there are thousands of pictures of the family up on the wall and all of their teeth. >> jon: how is a dentist kids' teeth? >> gorgeous. >> jon: would have to be. do you think... again i don't want to disrespect this guy.
do you think it's his real family? because just looking at it from a purely from a business perspective, let's say these are some people with some truly (beep) dental work. he can't put them up. i mean, i'm not in any way suggesting.... >> are you saying that you think my dentist is sort of corrupt? kind of? >> jon: somehow figured out that he's using dental work as a stepping stone to a music career. >> it's a hobby. i don't think he's... he's not... there's no music.... >> jon: i like to do woodworking. >> you do. >> jon: i like to do woodworking. >> you whittle? >> jon: i whittle. is that what the kids are calling it these days? >> that's what i used to call it. >> jon: let's say, jennifer, hold on a second and i got let's say a table saw and i just started moiking you a
cabinet. >> i would really appreciate that. >> jon: is that true? >> yes. >> jon: you know i made my children's changing table. >> you did. >> jon: i figured at that age they're not going to remember the splinters. >> no. >> jon: but i did make it. it was quite good. >> i bet it was. >> jon: very kind of you to say that. it's a very funny movie. it's in the theaters on july 8. >> july 8. >> jon: it's going to be apparently huge. >> let's hope. very funny movie. >> jon: it is a very funny movie and you're very funny in it. >> thank you. >> jon: you're welcome. now i'd like to play your song. ladies and gentlemen, jennifer aniston. ( cheers and a
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night i believe at 11:00. luis c.k.will be in the studio with us. unfortunately you people will not. here it is your moment of zen. >> found a place to cool off. >> surfing the seal river. check that out. have you ever seen anything like that? >> new york city plans to feed geese to the homeless. the city will actually send the birds