tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central August 26, 2011 12:45pm-1:15pm PDT
so the pimped out tent-bidding stands at chairs, petting zoo and randy travis. who can top it. >> i will say that tim pawlenty has mike huckabee performing in a straw poll concert. (laughter) >> jon: so nobody. (laughter) >> jon: nobody's got anything else. look, huck a kbee, music from huckabee but it's not a great sign for you when your musical entertainment could probably do better than you in the straw poll in iowa. (laughter) >> jon: so huckabee has the constituency and if he's throwing his full support behind pawlenty, that is meaningful. >> former arkansas governor mike huckabee is going to join gospel singer and presidential candidate herman cain on stage at the iowa straw poll in ames this weekend. what? (laughter) >> jon: huckabee you double booked the ames iowa straw poll?
for rick santorum will be there. his tent boasts rick santorum summer dance party which, by the way, is the lowest testing bet pilot ever. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> jon: hi, everybody, who here likes to cha-cha. remember leave room for jesus. (laughter) of course, if summer dance parties are not your thing, perhaps you would like some of rick santorum's homemade peach jelly. they're handing out samples of their peach jelly. wow. rick santorum must really be trying to change the search results that come up when people google santorum and jelly. now rick-- (applause) rick, it's the ames straw poll. it's all about the tent. please tell me you've got something different that's going to bring people to
your tent. >> how about mike huckabee, remember him the former governor of arkansas, will also going to perform at rick santorum's tent. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> jon: mike huck a bee, i never thought i would have to say this to you, you are a shut. (laughter) -- slut. so whether the straw poll is predictive or not, the media eyes of the country will be focused on ames, iowa this weekend, which can only mean one thing. >> pack it in, boys. just this morning we've learned that sarah palin is actually going to be in iowa today. >> jon: yup, fox news contributor sarah palin's previously thought suspended greyhound of freedom tour has miraculously reconstituted in the hawkeye state this weekend. why? >> sarah palin is not on the ballot in the iowa straw poll. she's not a declared condition data for president. but guess what, she
announced yesterday that she is taking her one nation bus tour here to iowa. that is right. she wants to be part of the debate, clearly. >> jon: well, not part of the debate. just close enough to the debate that her presence drowns it out. (laughter) >> jon: i swear to god, she is not running for president. she's running to be the mayor of [bleep] blockington. other than palin there is only one other thing that could distract the press corps. >> the hot new dish at the iowa state fair is deep fried butter on a stick. >> deep fried butter. >> fried put certificate the new big thing. >> that not a corn dog, it looks like a corn dog t say fried butter log. you heard me, a fried butter log. that will cost you four bucks at the iowa state fair. >> jon: four bucks! of course if that's too rich for your clearly struggling blood, for $2 there is a gentlemen tow fair who will fill a shotgun with cheese wiz and shoot it up your
ass. we have full team coverage of the ames straw poll starting with john olver wa, is going on. >> i'm at michele bachmann's tent and it is awesome! (laughter) >> i fed a sugar cube to a pony, jon, a pony. and not just any pony, one of those little midget ones with the stubbee little legs. >> jon: petting zoo aside, how is bachmann looking going into the weekend in iowa. >> who [bleep] cares, jon, i'm petting i-- . >> jon: wyatt cenac is standing by where the santorum campaign. wyatt, i see-- i see-- i see you got-- (laughter) >> jon: i see you need a napkin and also you got some of santorum's homemade peach belly. >> is that what this is? >> because it tastes like a peach just took a dump-- .
>> jon: it's jelly. >> it's not jelly. >> jon: it's jelly, it's just peaches and sugar, how bad can it be. >> no there's no sugarment santorum doesn't believe in sugar. he calls it the devil's granules. (laughter) >> jon: asif mandvi is at tim pawlenty's tent. what's happening-- . >> jon: aasif, what are you doing? >> i'm at the deep fried butter stand! >> jon: that doesn't even look cooked. >> no my doctor told me to avoid fried food this is delicious. (laughter) >> jon: all right. >> jon! >> jon: what is happening, samantha what is happening. >> sarah palin's bus just pulled into apems. she's creating an attention sucking vortex that threatens to consume every
>> welcome back. as you know, i watch a lot of fox news. (laughter) >> jon: because i hate my own head. (laughter) but my favorite fox news personality and this is true, hands down, megyn kelly, host of america live runs in the afternoon, she went on maternity leave and folk tried foul a toss one replacing her with this lady for a little bit. (laughter) >> jon: and in some cases, this other lady. come on fox, you think you can stick any pretty blond lady into megyn kelly's chair and we won't notice. october continuation did take me a couple days to notice but by the way i happen to know it is anchor lady harvest season until october. good news megyn kelly back in the studio. this week. new hair-do but the same take no prisoners attitude. watch her take on this talk radio host who had a nerve to make a crack about letter
while she was on leave. >> here is what you said. >> megyn is still on maternity leaveness. >> right. >> are you complaining. she's bonding with her baby. >> what a racket that is men don't get to bond. >> racket. >> how much time does she get off. >> probably three months. >> would you care to explain those remarks, mr. gallagher, maternity leave, it's a racket. >> well, are you going to disagree that there is-- again i'm on -- >> are you doubling down. no, no, no,. are you not taking those remarks that maternity leave according to you a racket. >> jon: how is it a racket? does it make you laugh? is my special bond with pie baby here to amuse you? you tell me how it is like a [bleep] racket. you son of a bitch! how is my maternity leave a racket? (applause) >> jon: [bleep] now what? different movie. megyn kelly is a bad-ass. that guy-- that guy was calling maternity leave a racket. he was saying that women shouldn't get paid for and
megyn kelly was just like-- never get between a mama grizzly and her maternity leave. she's making cate a spirited argument that, withouters are entitled to certain benefits and society has an interest in protecting these benefits which is great. and really weird. wait, because that's not the-- fox megyn kelly that i thought i knew. >> do you think that there is any getting the ten tackles that government has placed into our lives out? are we just stuck with these massive entitlement programs that we have now. >> jon: she used to hate entitlement program, mandated benefits and things like that. see if you can spot the difference between megyn kelly coming off maternity leave and some of her earlier work. >> what is it about getting pregnant and carrying a baby nine months that you don't think deserves a few months off so bonding and recovery can take place, huh? >> the entitlement, that sense of entitlement is even built into the cake this rein the system. so to try to take them way now is like trying to take social security away. >> very tough.
>> once it in how do you get rid of it. >> the united states is the only country that doesn't require paid leave. >> the free market should dictate that is how it works in american society. if anything, the united states is in the dark ages when it comes to maternity leave. a lot of our viewers don't see it. they see it as the first step towards socialism, the creation of a well fare state. >> well, do men get maternity leave. >> yes. >> i believe i'm asking new dwns guess what, honey, they do. it's called family medical leave act. if men would like to take-- three months off to go take care of their newborn baby they can. correct me if i'm wrong, but don't they call it maternity leave for a reason. how is this discriminatory to give less time to the man who didn't have the baby? (cheers and applause) >> jon: i know what happened. you cut your hair, it sapped your conservative strength. like a right wing sampson. that means rachel maddow is x scissorless weeks from a
fox contract. see this is the problem with entitlements. they are really only entitlements when they are something other people want. when it's something you want, they're a hallmark of a civilized society. the foundation of a great people. i just had a baby and found out maternity leave strengthens society. but since i still have a job, unemployment benefits are clearly socialism. (laughter) to put it more simply-- (cheers and applause) >> have you noticed that they have [bleep] and your [bleep] stuff? >> jon: once again george carlin says in a sen tins what took us three and a half minutes so either megyn kelly exposed the hypocrisy of the deuponization of workers and working class or-- oh my god it's worse than we thought, megyn kelly is suffering from post partum compassion. (cheers and applause) >> jon: it will pass. we'll be right back.
all right? before my wife changes her mind. go. [ male announcer ] movies right when you want them. watch unlimited tv episodes and movies instantly, all for only 8 bucks a month from netflix. ask me. if you think even the best bed can only lie there... ask me what it's like... when my tempur-pedic moves... ...talk to someone who owns an adjustable version of the most highly recommended bed in america... ask me about my tempur advanced ergo. ask me about having all the right moves. these are real tempur-advanced ergo owners! find one for yourself. check out twitter. try your friends on facebook... see what they have to say...unedited. it goes up... ask me what it's like to get a massage ---any time you want. ...it goes down... ergo...nomics... ergo...nomics... tempur-pedic brand owners are more satisfied than owners of any traditional mattress brand. (in chinese) ask me why i never want to leave my ergo. ask me why i'm glad i didn't wait 'till i was too old to enjoy this. start asking real owners. ask me how to make your first move... find out more about the tempur advanced ergo system! call the number on your screen for your
free dvd and information kit. to find an authorized dealer near you, visit tempurpedic.com. tempur-pedic. the most highly recommended bed in america. (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back, my guest tonight best selling author his new book is called david crockett, the lion of the west. please welcome to the program michael wallis. (cheers and applause) >> nice to see you. thank you so much for joining us. now this is an exciting night for me because not only do we have the david crockett book, rarely i do get a guest who is an author, be of great renown promoting
a book and can also promote an animated film. you were in cars. >> i was, indeed. i was-- i was the high sheriff of radiator springs looking for-- (cheers and applause) >> jon: unbelievable. >> and i can see that there are a lot of tractor tippers out there in that audience. (cheers and applause) >> jon: awesome. david crockett. david. >> he never used the name davey for himself. never signed it davey. so it was david crockett. >> jon: and that, and he was not shy about promoting himself. so how did it turn into, is that just a creation of american-- it sounded better in the songs? >> yeah, and then the almanacs, and with the folks in general. i mean the people would call him davey crockett, you know. that was just his way of identifying himself. >> now what i know of david
crockett is this. i know he was born in tennessee. killed a bash when he was three. and then i lose the trail. >> he was actually born in the state of franklin before tennessee became a state. and he had never killed a bear when he was only three but he was a professional bear hunter. one season he slew 105 black bears. >> so he was as much of a legend as he was, as much hyperbowl as was there, he actually was the real deal. >> he was the real deal. the truth is always better than fiction. and like so many of boomers, i grew up with the-- parker image of crockett. and it was entertaining and charming when you are nine. but it wasn't the real thing. crockett like so many figures from the west, others i have written about, pretty boy flied, billy the kid, jessy james, there's the real man and then there's the myth. so the two often collide and
get together. and it happened definitely in crockett's own lifetime. >> that's what was so surprising is that i didn't realize that crockett in his lifetime was such a renowned figure and that he actually attended a play that was about him. and i guess it was in 1831. and he -- >> in washington, d.c.. >> that's right. and he of course served successfully in congress for several times. and he went to see this play called, and that's what i use for my subtitle, the lion of the west. and he knew it was loosely based on him sow went into the theatre with his entourage. they seated him in the first row. everyone was wondering what's crockett going to do. will he get up and pummel the actor playing him or you know, what will do. well, the factor james -- actor james hackett came
leaping out on the stage in an almost burr lessing over the top fringed outfit not with a racoon cap on but with a bobcat hat. and he was called nimrod wildfire. (laughter) so i would have pummeled him. >> jon: i think maybe. but crockett didn't. >> nimrod made a big sweeping bough. there was a hushed silence. crockett stood and make a big sweeping bough back. reality-- and myth met right there. >> jon: it's an amazing story. i wonder if he went back afterwards and said let's talk about the name nimrod. (laughter) >> jon: let's see if we can change that around. now obviously for me the mythology of davey crockett cements itself at the alamo. but even that story, you know, he is said to have invented texas. did he go there, the idea is he went down there to fight for liberty in texas. >> he went down there to
rebuild his career. he had been voted out of congress largely because he stood up against his president and former political mentor andrew jackson over the issue of indian removal. the trails of tears that lead to where i now live, oklahoma. aka indian territory. crockett had seen the horrendous atrocities of the creek war. he wanted no more of that he said to jackson you've messed with these people enough. let them be. and he was the only member of the tennessee delegation to vote against the bill. he stood up to his party, to his constituents. we need more people like that in congress. >> i think so. >> i would think so. >> so he went down to texas. >> and he went down to texas. >> so jackson found the candidate to run against him. as crockett liked to point out, a one legged man. they voted him out. and that's when he famously said many times ad nauseam,
you all can go to hell. i'm going to texas. >> and he went down there because he was gypsy footed and he wanted to look at new territory and rebuild his career and he wanted to hunt every day. he took weeks to get down there. he was chasingñi bison, looking for honey trees. they thought he was dead he finally got down there and said i would really like this land and he said you can have it but you need to sign up for our militia. these textans were revolting against their own country. they were in mexico. they were immigrants that came into old mexico, into the state of tejas but they still kept coming. hence they were illegal immigrants. >> oh my gosh. if only santa anna had been able to build that dang fence. >> well, slavery was abolished in mexico. so that's-- and they were largely slaves. >> jon: we were hoping in some ways to preserve slavery. >> we wanted a plantation
system in texas, of course. so crockett, you know, unbenoens to him, signed up for the militia. they sent him to the bat erred mission in san antonio and at 49 years of age the curtain fell on crockett and nimrod. >> jon: it's a a magnificent story and his three is so much more beautiful than any fiction could be. >> it's the best. >> jon: i love it. david crock set on the book shelves now. thank you so much. michael wallis.
>> that's our show. here it is, your moment of zen. >> romney will be the center of attention at the debate. but for the straw poll it is considerably-- mitt romney, governor. >> hey, karl. >> what a great surprise. >> good to see you. >> we are on live with >> stephen: tonight, an old game gets an update for today's
kids. it's now high fructose corn syrup land. [laughter] then new government health guidelines for women. dudes, just continue treating whatever you have with talcum powder. then my guest is robert wittman, an art crime investigator. good, i want to take out a restraining order on the mona lisa. her eyes keep following me around the room. god said i shall have no gods before me, so don't spoil your appetite with vishnu poppers. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause]