Skip to main content

tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 11, 2011 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

11:00 pm
>> october 5, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheering and applause] jon jon welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a show tonight. our guest tonight, act your hugh jackman. this is is interesting, hugh jackman. he is probably the one actor in hollywood that i am most often confused with. [laughter]
11:01 pm
did i say hugh jackman? i men danny devito. danny, i know you're watching. we begin right here in new york city. there was a march on wall street today sponsored by the group occupy wall street and oddly enough sunny d, for extreme protesters. the occupy wall street movement has basically been a four-week, downtown manhattan livein, which has spread to cities all across the country, causing the media to move its coverage dial from blackout to circus. [laughter] it's too bad those are the only two settings it has. intread pit reporters from all the major networks and cnn went down to talk with the protesters. of course, the reporters changed into their undercover 21 jump street outfits. what's up, protesters? mind if we chilax with you in h.d. because the aspect ratio on the shot's going to be...
11:02 pm
[laughter] why are the protesters there? well, the answers ranged from extremely earnest college rematey to powerful and cogent. >> what do you guys want? >> bring attention to the pervasive influence that corporations have in the political process. >> what do we as americans agree on and what can we do? >> we're here to take the power back. >> the living standards decreased while the wealthiest 1% has had it better than ever. i think it's time for participation in our democracy. >> jon: whew, yeah. that must have brought [bleeped]. [cheering and applause] you know what he's saying? what's up, tea party? i see your hat and i raise you a union soldier. [laughter] so those are the protesters, or to put their words another
11:03 pm
way... >> i think if you put every single left-wing cause into a blender and hit power, this is the sludge you'd get. >> i saw one guy with a guitar, and they asked him... >> very hippie. >> it's like woodstock meets burning man meets people with absolutely no purpose. >> they are some of the most uninformed people if you listen to them. >> they're all over the map. >> demolition of capitalism. if we learn to share, we can all live in prosperity. >> all of those quotes could have been said in 1789 france or the french revolution or the russian revolution or with only slight modification when the nazis were coming to power. this is always the beginning of totalitarianism. >> jon: this group is a laughable gang of disorganized, confused nazis. [laughter] this is an ill-disciplined, highly trained, weed-smoking, fascist organization. but the protesters do have some surprising defenders. >> you know, the average
11:04 pm
american taxpayer knows that at the end of the day they're going to be on the hook for the trillions and trillions of dollars that we're using to bail out these companies, some of whom have been irresponsible, and they are expressing their frustration, which i think is quintessentially american. [cheering and applause] [slow clap] bravo, sean hannity, breaking ranks with your conservative friends -- oh, that's a clip from 2009 about the tea party? oh. oh. oh. what does sean hannity think about these protesters' frustrations? >> they hate corporations. they hate capitalism, and in the end ultimately they want statism over free markets. so they really don't like freedom. >> jon: oh, all right. so rage against dual elected government is patriotic and american, but rage against multinational shareholder
11:05 pm
corporations is anti-american. got you. i don't get it. here's a group of americans disenchanted railing against big government bailout, angry because they played by the rules, worked hard, and now they're in debt with students loan and unemployed. if this turns into throwing trash cans into starbucks window, nobody's going to be down with that. we all love starbucks. [laughter] >> but these protesters, how are they not like the tea party? all right. some of them smoke and have pants made out of pot. so call them the t.h.c. party. aren't these folks real citizens with real problems? aren't they also speaking for america? >> these folks aren't speaking for america. >> just your basic green anti-capitalist, anti-bank, anti-wall street, anti-mesh demonstration. >> that's not tea party behavior. that's not america-loving behavior. >> jon: they probably don't even master bait to the constitution.
11:06 pm
that's what i think. [cheering and applause] all right. i'll bite. why, why are the occupy wall street folks unworthy of tea party respect and ideals. >> they're not law-abiding citizens. they're camping in a park where camping isn't allowed. they're breaking the ls on the brooklyn bridge. that's not tea party behavior. [laughter] >> jon: everything you described there i believe is a misdemeanor. the actual tea party was a [bleeped] felony. do you know how much trouble... did you know what the tea party actually was? do you know how much you'd get in if you broke into a ship, stole the cargo from the ship's owners and just threw it overboard, not to mention the e.p.a. fines and the damage it would do to your indian costume? [laughter] the tea party namesake, you're named after the most celebrated act of theft and vandalism of private property in our nation's
11:07 pm
history and you can't stomach a little park camping? [laughter] but if there is one criticism that nearly everyone, even their supporters seemed to share, it was this: >> when you look at the message, though, what is it these protesters are trying the get across because it doesn't necessarily seem a very cohesive one. >> it seems like they have to crystallize their message. >> the message is muddled. >> did you just call the protesters muddled? [laughter] but i watch a lot of movies. this guy brings up a good point. we cannot expect a bunch of disenfranchised park dwellers to come up with a coherent solution to our nation's economic woes. we have a political ruling class to do that. >> congress demanding answers on what caused the economic meltdown. >> a bipartisan group of senators known as the "gang of six" is working on a proposal to cut the deficit. >> the congressional super committee created to cut the deficit. >> the simpson bowles plan,
11:08 pm
>> senator coburn's plan. >> doesn't this sound like a great idea. >> the bowles simpson dead on arrival. >> the ten of you spent months working on, this and now you have this significant dissent. >> i think we should break up these banks. >> break up every institution right now could have been destabilizing. >> you have to put your own budget together. you're sitting to be sidelines blaming others. the truth of the matter, howard... [both speaking over one another] >> gentlemen. >> jon: i think i got it. i think i got it. [cheering and applause] for god's sakes, people, now i see why you're mad at them for being muddled and incohairnts. that's your [bleeped] job. although we did pass dodd-frank. >> in just over two weeks the dodd-frank law will be a year old, and we're not really any closer to fully implementing it. >> the stuff that would have addressed the fraud, too big to
11:09 pm
fail, derivatives, from almost all of those measures were either rejected outright or watered down to near meaningless. >> an estimated 400 regulations to be written, just 38 are complete. >> jon: and those 38 were the easy ones -- no spitting, don't take your [bleeped] out before 5:00. you know what, if the people who were supposed to fix our financial system had actually done it, the people who have no idea how to solve these problems wouldn't be getting [bleeped] for not offering solutions. while we all fight, the real victims, as always, continue to suffer. >> i was in boston this weekend, and they had "occupy boston." there were 1,000 people. >> you were protesting? >> i was just driving by. i was trying to get to supper, and 1,000 people were between me and a steak dinner. >> jon: steve doocy reacting to the revolution. let me
11:10 pm
11:11 pm
hi. kristin. and, you... (camera flashes) yoleine...yoleine.! what do your friends think of your car? they think it's cool. well, what did they say about it? ah, that it's cool. (laughs) does your focus match your personality? yes, it does match my personality. it's very classic. it's funny. it's quirky. it's sleek. it's shiny. it's practical. and, it's smart. (laughs)
11:12 pm
it's the black angus on rosemary parmesan quality thick sliced black angus steak topped with melted mozzarella and cheddar try it you're gonna like it quiznos mmmmm.... toasty! >> jon: welcome back to the show, as you know, as you know because you live and breath, my friends, our political parties select the presidential nominees through the primary system. a multi-year process designed to ensure that when we decide the person who will have control over our nation's destiny, we have a bunch of pictures of them eating a corn dog.
11:13 pm
[laughter] last weekend one of our more rebellious states decided it's not happy with how things are. >> florida is talking about moving up its presidential primary. i mean, way up they're thinking about moving it up. that could mean chaos on the calendar this winter. we will talk about that in our political ticker. that's coming up. it's 12 minutes past the hour. ♪ the people that you find whatever you may need ♪ >> jon: really? "welcome to the jungle" over old people voting, "welcome to the jungle"? ♪ welcome to the jungle we wear long black socks with shorteds and eat our lunch at 3:00 ♪ guns and roses has more appropriate music for this scene. >> of course, that's several weeks earlier than is usual. we'll talk more about that in our political ticker.
11:14 pm
♪ knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ♪ hey, hey, hey >> jon: all right. anyway, i'm sorry. i got distracted by the music. you were saying about florida. >> the key battleground state of florida just voted an hour ago to move its primary up an entire month to january 31st. >> this move will likely throw the carefully arranged republican nominating calendar into disarray and jumpstart the nominating process a month earlier than party leaders had hoped. >> jon: i guess we should have seen this coming. if there's one state that's going to start a [bleeped] contest, it's hardly surprising it's the one shaped like a [bleeped]. come on, florida. [cheering and applause] yes, we're quite sophisticated. after all the trouble you've caused us, florida, previous election, you have the balls to demand to vote earlier. you're lucky we even let you
11:15 pm
vote at all. you want to know why we let iowa and new hampshire vote first? because they've earned our trust. when we let them use our votes, they don't wring it back with swamp water in the engine and alligator meat in the grill and hanging chads all over the windshield and pat buchanan's name spray painted on the apull industry. why are you even doing this? >> we have all of these early primary dates that are really in small states and states that are not diverse in population, and it's time for a big state, populated state and a minority represented state to be represented. >> jon: oh, snap. did you see that, new hampshire. oh, [bleeped], you're so homogenized you make milk jealous. oh, boo. oh, you're so white you call snow camouflage. boo. oh, [bleeped], you're so white you got nervous when vermont moved into the neighborhood.
11:16 pm
[laughter] i don't know what song i should play. slam. but there might be another more insidious reason why florida is so anxious to be first. >> you get attention to your issues. let's remember, this we probably would not have the national subsidy for ethanol that we have in the united states today if iowa, if both parties didn't have to start their presidential process in iowa. those kinds of issues that get special attention if you are in this chosen class of early primary state. >> jon: great. now the parties will pander to florida votedders. now there will be a federal law requiring us to visit our grandparents. and what's next? this becomes a constitutional amendment. >> we'll never be sick. we won't get any older and we won't ever die. [laughter] >> jon: to be fair, that is quite appealing. referendum. but if you think the other states will just let florida steal their thunder, think again, buddy. >> the other early primary and caucus states are all but
11:17 pm
certain to move their contests up, as well. the iowa caucuses could now come as early as january 9th followed by new hampshire, nevada and south carolina. >> at which point florida will move its date back to november 15th and new hampshire will move it up to november 30th. long story short the republican primaries already happened and donald trump is the party's nominee. we'll be right back. [cheering and applause]
11:18 pm
11:19 pm
11:20 pm
11:21 pm
>> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, oh, he's got a new film out called "real steel." >> i know you're in there. i'm not sure if you're getting this, but i know you're in there. >> come on. >> give me a minute. i know you can't hear me, but you can see me. watch me. watch me. >> you're not talking to a robot. >> i know. shut up. watch me. [cheering and applause] >> jon: please welcome back to the show hugh jackman. [cheering and applause]
11:22 pm
>> nice, nice. >> jon: i will... [cheering and applause] >> the fan, the fans. nice, nice. >> jon: this is like one of those bad before-and-after magazine pictures. once i started taking citrical, my life turned around. >> my balls are the size of a raisin. >> jon: i would go anywhere, i would pay any amount of money to see robots. >> why not? >> jon: because those bastards, this movie is robot boxing, is it not? >> absolutely. it's in the future, and robots... >> jon: what, eight? >> eight. that's it. >> jon: that's all the time we have is eight years. >> your boxing career, you
11:23 pm
better get it started, man. >> jon: tonight when i get home, you're going down, roomba. >> it's the year 2020, and it's the biggest sport in the world, nine-foot robots duking it out. >> jon: what an awesome... >> right. >> jon: i would love to see this. i like watching regular boxing, but i fear for the combatants. >> right. jon jon in robot boxing, it would be... if you popped off one of their heads, you'd be like, awesome. >> my six-year-old ava was watching it. she's like, yeah, noisy boy, take his head off. she was going for it. i know, it's good. >> jon: noisy boy? >> noisy boy. that's her favorite. she's a mosh pit ac/dc girl. my girl. i'm in serious trouble in ten years. >> jon: i've met the girl. you're in serious trouble now. are you trained in the art of... >> robot boxing? >> jon: boxing? you had to learn to box?
11:24 pm
>> yeah. well, there's one scene where i'm an ex-boxer in the film. there's one scene where you have to see i'm an ex-boxer. they gave us sugar ray leonard as a consultant. they said, hugh, sorry we didn't check with you, sugar ray is hired as a consultant. are you cool with that? i'm like, what? the best boxer in the history of boxing is my personal trainer. >> jon: pound for pound. >> i felt quietly confident. i had been training. he said, show us what you got. i showed him and he's like, really? he's like, man, we better get to work. my name is on this picture. that's sugar ray. >> jon: did he have you chasing a chicken around the ring? even now his reflex, if he wanted to, he can without you realizing it just put out one of your eyeballs and you'd be like... >> have you met him? >> i met him a couple times. >> he looks ten years younger
11:25 pm
than me. he looks like he's never been hit once in his life. i don't know who the surgeon is, but he's awesome, really awesome. >> jon: some of the greatest fights of all time, sugar ray leonard. i always worry about those guys because you think as they age, you wonder what's happened. >> he's the poster child. sugar ray is it. if you're going to get into that sport and you want to come out and be the best, sugar ray is it because... and he's beloved. you know, his leg is... >> >> jon: and she's sharp. very witty, very smart. by the way, when he punches you in the tom mac, man that hurt. >> like you andry doing, then behind the scenes, camera turned on, some guy said d.v.d., awesome, sugar ray. just out of the corner of his eye, the red light, bang. >> jon: he just dropped you. >> i cried. on the d.v.d. extra. best part of the movie. >> jon: every movie you're in, it's always hugh jackman is guy who climbs mountain with one
11:26 pm
hand. can't you get a thing where it's like hugh jackman loves pie. >> yes. >> jon: it's like you sitting around eating pie. >> twice, twice i've signed up for movies like that. lee daniels was going to do a film called selma. and i was going to play clark, the martin luther king story. so i had to put on a whole lot of weight. clark wore his pants up here, famous for being on the front page of "new york times" for hitting the woman on his head and he's massive. so i put on so much weight. i did so much research. we went to italy to put on weight. my wife, and deb and i were walking along in italy, and she's like, wow, hugh, your ass has got its own zip code. she liked it i think. >> well, you know... >> film gets cancelled. >> jon: now look at you. pretty soon, this really is weird, it looks like they drained all my blood and just add it to you. by the way, on broadway when? >> october 25th.
11:27 pm
>> jon: october 25th. how long you going to be there? >> ten weeks. >> jon: ten weeks. >> 18-piece orchestra. >> jon: you got to see this guy. there are people in this business with actual talent. he's one of them. you got to go see it. "real steel" is in the theaters on friday. hugh ja
11:28 pm
11:29 pm
[ bartender ] the coolest thing about sam adams is that they put out beers according to seasons. [ jim ] we have samuel adams winter lager, noble pils, summer ale and octoberfest. [ bob ] octoberfest is an american interpretation of a german marzen style.

132 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on