tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central October 18, 2011 1:00am-1:30am PDT
♪ and we'rlittle bit rock n' roll ♪ - well, good night, everybody. it sure has been great bringing you 100 episodes. - we wanna thank our guests, the pro-war people... [applause] and the anti-war people. - what the hell are they doing now? - i don't know. all: ♪ for the war, against the war ♪ ♪ who cares? 100 episodes ♪ [fireworks crackling] - i hate this town. i really, really do. captioning by kristi at captionmax www.captionmax.com >> october 17, 2011.
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. man, we've got a show for you today. so glad you could join us. we're back, baby. on tonight ellen schultz, the author of the retirement heist which is a great flick. starring jack nicholson. i'm sorry. it's about pension funds maximizing their own profit. it's so far fetched. here's what i think happened. i think the tattoo guy put a hot girl on his leg, right? the tattoo guy (beep) and then you're like screw it. just throw a bobo-fet helmet on it. we'll call it even. that's what i think he did.
get a tattoo of boba-fet as a woman. i don't believe that that was the original intent. i believe the original intent was like i love i dream of jeany. why don't you put her on my leg. they (beep) her face. i'll put a helmet on that. obviously we were off last week. so we have a lot to catch up. last we left off i believe rick perry's entrance into the "please don't make us vote for romney" republican race. perry before he ever uttered a word shot to the top of the field. unfortunately running for president does require a good deal of word uttering. which perry's done on four separate debate occasions. >> is it the mitt romney that was on the side of against the second amendment before he was for the second amendment? was it... before he was before the social programs?
>> jon: thus almost completely not helping the win for losing the before he was winning now he... hey, who wants to see me electro cute a guy. i don't know if you noticed in the poll there but almost all of perry's support appears to have gone to herman kaine because again nobody likes mitt romney. nobody. he is like the republican party's ultimate safety school. well, we're not going to get into harvard. university of texas looks like a stretch. so hello glass breaux state. go fighting fallbacks. why is it that rick perry who is basically a 200-pound bag of choice cut grade-a republican dropping like a cow pie? is it his mangled debate performances? possible. questions about his less than pristine record as governor of texas? perhaps.
the fact that his family's long-time hunting facility was formerly called (mumbling) it has that name (mumbling. >> i know you'll refrain from saying that word. the name of the place was called nigger head. >> jon: thank you, black walnut. but according to the governor's wife anita perry, the real reason for governor rick perry's decline is something much more insidious. >> we've been brutalized by our opponents, our own party, so much of that is i think they look at him because of his faith. >> jon: two things. number one. where are you? you know, you know what's crazy about that painting behind her? i bet if you remove anita perry there's a picture of a woman who looks exactly like her already standing there...
all right. and number two, republicans are brutalizing rick perry because of his faith? yes, no one gets it worse from the base of the republican party than evangelical christians. or as they're also known, the base of the republican party. but at least some evangelicals are fighting back. like first baptist church of dallas pastor and rick perry supporter robert jeffress who goes in hard on mitt romney supporters. >> mitt romney is a good, moral person but he's not a christian. mormonism is not christianity. it has always been considered a cult by the mainstream of christianity. >> jon: i mean, if y'all want to vote for a cult leader, i'm not going to... that is is the sweetest, most good-natured, pleasant (beep) on an entire religion. i have ever seen. bless his heart. he deserves to be in hell but certainly on a different floor
than hitler. are we ready for a mormon president or should mainstream republican cristians still be suspicious. for more we go to samantha bee and wyatt cenac. nice to see you guys. ( cheers and applause ) let me just start here. wyatt. >> wait. >> jon: i'm going the start with wyatt. >> just a second here. why is wyatt team normal? okay. that implies that mormons aren't normal. >> please, it's just semantics. i'm not sitting here complaining that your shirt doesn't say team team cult on it. >> we are not a cult. mormonism is a proud religion founded by a great man who was guided by the angel moroni to golden plates buried in upstate new york that he placed in a bottom of a hat where he read them using a seeer stone. right. from the guy who believes that jesus could walk on water and heal the sick with his magic fingers.
>> yes. but mormons believe that too. >> oh, sheep whiskers. you're right. >> of course i'm right. look, we all know that jesus was born in bethlehem after being conceived by the virgin mary and the holy ghost. >> that is just common sense. >> actually not everybody.... >> we all agree that he rose from the dead and ascend to heaven. >> yes. and then he returned to missouri. >> cult. that's cultish. that's cult. >> jon: i think i have found the problem here. neither of you has an issue suspending your disbelief about any of the stories in the new testament. wyatt, you seem thrown off by some of the more eccentric tweaks that mormons has made to the story. >> look who's talking. the guy whose people think it's normal to hang out in someone's living room and watch a guy with a beard cut off a baby's penis while everyone eats pound cake. woo-hoo. >> i have a beard and i wouldn't let me....
>> no. >> jon: in my defense, it's just the tip. and the cake is is incorrode i believey moist. ... is incredibly moist. besides the point. what we want to get to is simply this. what are we dealing with with the mormon thing here? it seems like you guys agree on the basics. >> magic underwear. >> jon: i realize mormons aren't supposed to swear. is that the best you can come up with. >> i'm too exhausted since i can't drink (beep) coffee, okay. >> you swore. >> blow it out your ass you sucking mother.... >> jon: guys, calm down. what i'm trying to say is should being mormon disqualify you from the presidency? i mean, you both believe in jesus, right? >> yes. >> yes. >> jon: as long as a republican candidate believes in the basic tenets, i am the way, the truth and the life.
no one comes to the father except through me. >> that is a good one. >> jon: let the one amongst you who is without sin be the first to cast the stone. >> you're right. >> we are fighting about the silly problem. >> jon: if you want to be perfect go sell your possessions and give to the poor. you will treasure in heaven. >> okay. >> jon: the man with two tunics should share with me who has none and the one who has food should do the same. >> no, no, no. >> no, no, no. what kind of occupy wall street (beep) is that? >> i'm pretty sure that jesus was a free market guy. >> jon: i'm just quoting scripture. >> aha. >> woo-hoo. >> jon: samantha
their infancy. let's check in on how they're doing now. >> wall street protest started here in new york last month have now spread to more than 60 other cities. >> the protests have stretched from new york and boston to seattle, los angeles. >> jon: new york, boston (breathless) they're like the hard rock cafe of leftist movements. hey, everybody. try the emma goldman burger. it's a revolution. that's not the only good news. >> the movement's website has collected nearly $300,000 in donations. >> jon: you have $300,000? all right. you better change the title of the protest. there you go. i'm kidding. i'm sure the money is, you know, is in no way going to go to their head. they got a butler.
son of a bitch. sir, your hash, sir. perhaps the best sign of the movement... ( cheers and applause ) perhaps the best sign of the movement's growing popularity has to be this. >> last week on the campaign trail in florida, romney said this about the occupy wall street movement. quote, i think it's dangerous. this class warfare. but monday romney sounded much different when meeting with voters in new hampshire. >> i don't worry about the top 1%. i worry about the 99% in america. so i look at what's happening on wall street and my own view is, boy, i understand how those people feel. >> jon: looks like we made it. first of all, i look at them and i say, oh, boy, you know, umm: i look at the 99% and i say, gee, wow.
there seems to be a (beep) these people. honey, get the gate. that's how you know you've made it. when mitt romney has taken both sides of the argument about you. of course it hasn't been all good news for the movement for all their popularity for all the participants with thoughtful critiques of our power structure. there's also this. a guy taking a (beep). you know what? the guy (beep) on police car. meet me at camera three. no! no, bad. no! naughty! naughty!
( applause ) here's the problem. unfortunately protests are often as much about optics as they are about substance. you do not want this to be your tianamen square. you have tapped into a real injustice that people feel about the global financial markets. nothing can derail your movement fast every than someone who is unable to derail their movements. we'll be right back.
heists, how companies plunder and profit from the nest eggs of american workers. please welcome to the program ellen schultz. ( applause ) thank you for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> jon: the book is called retirement heist. i did not think... and i've thought a lot about this financial crisis. i did not think there was another piece of information that i can learn that could still make me angry. thank you. >> any time. >> jon: thank you for letting me know i can still feel. this book is about how corporations have taken gigantic worker pension funds and just taken them. >> they've manageded to take the retirement plans for millions, 44 million people, and turn them into profit centers for the companies. now people are complaining that the plans are underfunded but they were fully funded. in fact there was a quarter trillion surplus as recently
as ten years ago. >> jon: what would they do? you say the pension fund has a surplus. that means the company, the workers pay into it. there's a mandate that you have to fund these pensions. so they have a quarter trillion surplus. how did they drain that? what did they do? >> a number of things. they syphoned money out to pay for restructuring, i.e., getting rid of old people. they used some of it to pay their executives, parachutes. >> jon: if you get a golden parachute as they call it, that money comesut of the pension fund that they have set aside for workers. >> there are ways to do that, yes. it's take advantage of really tricky loopholes. they actually also sold us in deals. >> jon: m-and-a, obviously you and are insiders. >> i'm sorry about that. you could sell a unit and then just sell them some of the extra pension. >> jon: so you would, let's say, come in and buy a company. and part of that company is we
have $2 billion in pension. and you take that and do what with it? >> you take it but then you get another $500 million extra. you just pay 7 cents on the dollar for that. >> reporter: you don't pay them the pensions that they thought they were going to get. you pay them less. and that extra money you put on your ledger as profit. >> you can keep some of that extra money, yes. true, all of these mechanisms companies took what was really a perfectly healthy system and just ran them into the round. they're complaining about the cost of the retirees. >> jon: why can you do that? >> well, there are lots of clever loopholes. and companies have convinced congress to let them do all sorts of things over the years claiming it was good for retirement security. what's really disappointing is that while they were doing this for everybody, they were boosting the pensions for the executives so all of these changes which decimated the retirement plans for millions were boosting the pay and the pensions for the top 1%.
>> jon: it makes me want to a (beep) on a police car. and i say that with all due respect. i know the police are doing the best they can. (grunting) why isn't this more public knowledge? it's surprising to me that this enormous... all we've heard about is these corporations having to renegotiate with their workers the idea that your retirement fund is the albatross around the company's neck. >> they have managed to keep this pretty quiet over the years. it's complicated maneuvers and companies have deliberately deceived people. they've deceived the employees and congress. i'll give you on an example. one way they finance these huge executive pensions which some companies like ge is is
up to $6 billion. >> jon: up to $6 billion in? >> executive pensions. >> jon: $6 billion in executive pensions. >> that's how much they owe their executives. >> jon: $6 billion. >> yes. they earned it. >> jon: how many executives? do they have six billion executives? >> they don't disclose it but what they owe them is about 15% of what they to 500,000. >> jon: that counts against everybody else's funded pensions? >> it counts as part of the liability, sure. so when companies complain about their costly retirees they often don't point out the fact that it's the executives that are costly. like omni care, when the executive retired he got $100 million but they froze the plan for everybody else. financing this stuff though is what really surpriseded me. they have taken out billions of dollars of life insurance on workers and they use the life insurance as executive pension funds. >> jon: who took out life insurance on the workers. >> nestle, wal-mart, disney.
>> jon: you're allowed to take a life insurance policy on a worker. do they know that they have a life insurance policy on them? >> they're supposed to know these days but there are millions of people who have no idea. >> jon: can i just like go oun the street and go, that guy is old. i'm going to take out a policy on him? how can you hold a life insurance policy on someone who is not in your family? >> initially they were saying to congress, well, if we lose a part-time clerk who has no benefits it's going to cost us money to have to retrain them. congress said sure do that. congress got tired of that. then they convinced congress that they needed to do to pay for retireee benefits. they didn't say executive retireee benefits. >> jon: by them buying life insurance policies i'm only assuming that is profit that goes into an insurance company as well. so they've created a sort of a self sustaining system for them. >> no it's like a giant tax shelter. when the employees or the ex-employees or the retirees die, the death benefit is tax
free to the company. >> jon: that's what all those cakes and parties are at corporations. they always say it's for your birthday but chances are... (laughing). this is is remarkable. again it's very easy to get into this idea that all corporations you can demonize everything they do. obviously they've done a great service and an engine for the economy. but this has gotten way out of hand. >> it's... their hands are in everything. virtually every recommendation that companies make to improve retirement security essentially helps improve their bottom line. it doesn't improve anything for the employee. >> jon: we're just talking about private pensions right now. this is not the public pension system. this is not anything other than the way that these other corporations can manipulate. to be fair to them if the economy tanks.... >> the stock market going down, but you started out with if you were like verizon and you started out with 24 million
[ can opening ] baby: pshhhht! [ imitating can open]ng [ soda pouri]g baby: wooosh! [ imitating soda pour ] baby:rapping/beatbox ] [ can opening ] teen: pshhhht! [ imitating can opening ] teen:rapping/beatbox ] friends: wow! [ can opening ] cee lo: pshhhht! [ imitating can opening ] ♪ be free and express yourself. ♪ ♪ do what comes naturally. cee lo: be yourself. be refreshing. be 7up.