tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central October 20, 2011 6:00pm-6:30pm PDT
♪ simultaneous -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com captions paid for by mtv networks ready to go. ready to go. ready to go. >> october 19, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the dail show. my name is jon stewart. we have great show for you tonight. reverend al sharpton will be joining us later, but first, last night was the eighth and in no way final republican presidential debate, sponsored by the western republican leadership conference and cnn. >> the west, the mountain majesty of the rockies to the desert sands of the mojave, now
with nothing less than america's future at stake, the presidential campaign goes west. >> jon: yes, nothing says american west like the venetian hotel's gondoliers, paddling predebate down the vegas strip's famed river of tears and unsightly discharge. [laughter] welcome, tourists, to the venetian herpes creek. but on to the debate. the whole gang was there except jon huntsman, so who cares. congresswoman michele bachmann, who having apparently untangled the arms of her straitjacket set out to show that even in a tight field no one puts crazy in a corner. >> i was the very first candidate that signed a pledge that said that by a date certain i will build a double-walled fence with an area of security
neutrality in between. >> jon: double wall! single wall can't get the job done, but the double wall. michele bachmann forms her immigration policy the way gillette comes up with new razors. the first wall stretches the immigrant out. the second wall cuts them off at the roots. i'm not sure what the lubricating strip does. ron paul was there to remind people what uncomfortable silence feels like. >> i want to ask a question: are you all willing to cut down ronald reagan for exchanging weapons for hostages out of iran. we all know that was done. >> jon: anyone? anyone in? ronald reagan negotiated with terrorists? anyone? all right, [bleeped] it, how about we fill the rio grande with lava. how about that? but enough of the niceties. let's get ready to romney. >> why don't you let me speak. >> you're allowed to change -- >> rick, you had your chance.
why don't you let me speak. you got it from the heritage foundation. >> you just said it's not true. if it's in your book... >> you took it out of your book. let's be honest. [laughter and applause] >> jon: you see that woman's look of shock. do you see the look of shock? do you know how hard it is to get a look of shock from someone in las vegas. [laughter] it's las vegas. you know what they call a show girl [bleeped] a penguin in las vegas? tuesday. but the evening was mostly about candidates answering for their past statements. for herman cain it was his 999 tax reform plan which came under heavy attackment >> reports are out that 84% of americans would pay more taxes under his plan. >> herman, i love you, brother, but let me tell you something: you don't have to have a big analysis to figure this thing out. we'll bump plans and we'll see who has the best idea about how you get this country working again. >> jon: i don't think you
should do the "brother" thing. [cheering and applause] [whispering] i don't think you want to be all hey, brother, with herman. i don't know if you remember, but a couple weeks ago there was this disclosure that you leased a ranch called... called... herman, herman... >> the name of the place was called niggerhead. >> jon: [whispering] right. so i'd go easy on that "brother" [bleeped]. but to perry's point that cain's 9% federal sales tax would impose an additional cost on top of state sales tax, well, cain had a simple response. >> this is an example of mixing apples and oranges. the state tax is an apple. we are replacing the current tax code with oranges. >> herman, are you saying that state sales tax will also go away. >> no, that's an apple.
>> oh, okay. we're replacing a bunch of oranges. >> will the people in nevada not have to pay nevada sales tax and in addition pay the 9% tax. >> you're still going to pay that. that's apples and oranges. >> and i'm going to get a bushell basket with apples and oranges. and people in nevada don't want to pay both taxes. >> jon: hey, herman cain, you like apples? dawes you just got wicked schooled by the former governor of massachusetts. how do you like them [bleeped] apples. ahhhh! thank you. that was my one-man show idea good will hunting" the apple scene. but of course romney is the front-runner. here he is defending romney care, which, as you know, is identical to it but in no way has anything to do with obama care. >> actually, newton, we got the idea of an individual mandate from you. sorry, rick, that you find so
much to dislike in my plan, but the people of massachusetts like it by about a 3-1 margin. was it something i'd impose on the nation? the answer is absolutely not. [laughter] >> jon: so to summarize romney care: it's a great republican idea that works great. the people of massachusetts love it. i would never do it again. it's socialism. but the real fireworks came when... [cheering and applause] the real fireworks came when the two silverbacks, romney and perry, went mano a mano on the subject of people whose native tongue gave us the phrase "mano a mano." >> mitt, you lose all of your standing from my perspective because you hired illegals in your home and you knew about it for a year. >> i don't think that i've ever hired an illegal in my life, so i'm afraid... i'm looking forward to finding your facts on that because that...
>> rick, again, i'm speaking. i'm speaking. >> you're not allowed to use your hands. i would hate to be able to zoom in right now and see what is going on inside rick perry's head. [applause] to be fair... to be fair, from what i understand that is the clip that is always playing inside rick perry's head. [laughter] but mitt romney wasn't done messing with texas. >> we hired a lawn company to mow our lawn. and they had illegal immigrants that were working there, and when that was pointed out to us, we let them go. we went to them and said... >> are you licensed? >> you have a problem with allowing someone to finish speaking. and i suggest if you want to become president of the united
states, you have to let both people speak, so let me speak. >> jon: yeah. rick perry, i think mitt romney had something for you right here. let me get it for you. it's coming right now. boom. that's what they call the mormon bird. it's not... sometimes... oh, no, he could have doubled down. sometimes they'll be all like, oh, what's that? uh-uh, no okay, not okay. it's okay with a flash-through. you can't [bleeped] with mormon hand signals. but it was here, ladies and gentlemen, around minute 58 of the eighth republican presidential debate, that mitt romney was explaining why it was that he no longer allowed illegal immigrants the privilege of mowing his lawn that he gave away what we in the business call "the game." >> we went to the company and we said, "look, you can't have any illegals working on our property. i'm running for office for
pete's sake." >> jon: believe me, if i wasn't running for office, i wouldn't give a flying... pay 'em $2. it's not principle. i got people watching me. mitt, if i may... [cheering and applause] if i may give you a piece of campaign advice, there is no story that makes you look good that involves you saying, "i'm running for office, for pete's sake." that's when i stood up straying and i said, get this balloon full of cocaine out of my ass. i'm running for office for pete's sake. get this dog off my penis. i'm running for office for goodness sake. [laughter and applause] you know what i like best about that joke, mitt romney's surprise on having the dog on his penis. well, you slather a little bit of peanut butter down there and
god knows what the hell happens. seriously. that "for pete's sake i'm running for office" may be the most honest thing mitt romney has ever said, because i'm absolutely sure that's what he was thinking at that time. for just a moment it felt like the guard dropped and we all got to see the tiny human being that resides inside the skull of the giant robot body. we'll be r
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>> jon: welcome backed to show. now, according to some recent polls, herman cain has vaulted into the lead in the race for the g.o.p. nomination, opening up the very real possibility that the 2012 election could be a contest between to african americans. here to discuss it, our senior black correspondent larry wilmorement larry, thank you so much for joining us. >> jon, jon, i would love to see it, but i'm not sure if black people would let that happen. they're not crazy about cain's politics. >> jon: what do you mean they wouldn't let it happen? >> well, even if herman cain gets the nomination, it technically won't be two black guys running because black people will decertify him. [laughter] >> jon: they'll... black people will decertify... what does... i don't understand. >> pull his credentials, jon, take away his black card.
[laughter] >> jon: there is a black card? >> uh-huh. absolutely. it's your proof you're 100% authentic american black person. and, yes, it can be taken away, cane can cane, pizza man. >> jon: how? by whom? >> anyone more authentically black than you. >> because he hasn't had good fortune, because he hadn't had a moment where he broke through someone blinked does not make him an authority on the blight of people of color. >> good fortune. harry belafonte got famous in the '60s for singing "day o" why does he got to call out another brother? >> it's a very catchy song. >> it's about counting bananas, jon. >> jon: so what's next? >> well, then a tarantula gets into the bananas and he's
waiting if for tally man. >> jon: no, not in the song. what is the next part about revoking herman cain's black card? >> right, guilt by association. >> the republican party, the tea party, all those forces to the extreme right have consistently tried to come up with representation for what they call "black." we got colon pow l. herman cain is just the latest incarnation. >> so he's saying colin powell is not a black hero. >> of course not, silly. he's a republican. [cheering and applause] >> jon: so this is what... this is what black liberals do to black conservatives? >> oh, no, no, no. it goes both ways. herman cain is doing it, too. >> how would you fare on a staining you and barack obama in a debate? >> it would almost be no contest. he's never been a part of the black experience in america. i can talk about that. i can talk about what it really
meant to be poor before i was poor. he can't. [audience reacts] >> jon, if this keeps up, the race will once again be down to two white guys. [bleeped]. and there this all could have been avoided. if herman cain didn't open his mouth about racism, the black response was immediate. >> i don't believe racism holds anybody backn a big way. >> he needs to get off the symbolic crack pipe. [cheering and applause] >> jon: wow. that's interesting. >> jon, they're both right, jon. racism isn't as bad as it used to be, but without racism, cornel west is just a guy with an out-of-control afro wearing a wool scarf in the summertime. >> jon: how do you say racism isn't a big deal. disproportionately it's people of color. >> i don't understand your point. >> jon: isn't it somewhat racist that crack cocaine sentencing is harsher, prison
terms longer for powder cocaine. >> that's your proof of racism, that people smoking crack are sitting in prison longer than people smoking coke. 50 years ago little black girls were blown up in a church. that was racist. i don't recall dr. king dreaming of the day crack heads and coke heads would be together singing "free at last, free at last." >> jon: so you agree with herman cain that racism cannot stop black americans? >> well, tragically, it still might be able to because ironically this black man might be blocked from the presidency because he won't admit to black people that his blackness blocks him from the presidency. that's some racist [bleeped], jon. >> jon: larry wilmore, everybody. we'll be right back. i see what you d >> welcome back.
first of all, congratulations to you and your personal trainer. >> thank you, sir. >> jon: you look terrific. nice to see you again. >> thank you. good to see you. >> jon: how is the show going? has that been an exciting opportunity? have you enjoyed yourself? what's going on over there? >> it's good. i like it. you know, because i can be me, i debate people. it's not... i'm not trying to act objective. i'm doing what i do. >> jon: you're a newsman. you shouldn't have to be objective. >> that's exactly right. i'm jon stewart without the cursing. >> jon: you can't curse on msnbc? >> i don't curse. >> jon: at all, ever in your life? >> i'm profound, not profeign. [audience reacts] >> jon: can i say this? check and mate. i am done. i'm glad that you're enjoying it. now what do you do then in a situation. okay, occupy wall street comes up. it's a protest very close to your heart in terms of issues and in terms of constituency. how do you operate in that
environment. how do you... >> i support it. i went down and did my radioshow there. i had people on that are for and against it, those that are... michael moore was on my show for it. we talked about why we were for it. russell simmons was on. then those against it, republicans, i debate them. i don't depend not to have an opinion. my civil rights group had a jobs march over the weekend, about 40,000, a minature jon stewart march. we did the best we can. >> jon: you know what you should try, irony. [laughter] people love to come out and do nothing. really. they give you so much pleep bleep for that. pardon me. [laughter] >> forgive you, my son. >> jon: thank you. is it frustrating, 40,000 people is an awful lot of people to mobilize for anything, yet the coverage of that certainly was not to the same extent. what is it, you know, for me,
and this is my own problem and my own inhibition, the theatrical aspect of all that and some of the elements that are attracted down there i'm not usually down work but i am very much interested in the message that's being articulated and the feeling that is. do you needhose theatrical elements to get the attention? is it a catch-22? >> it is a catch-22. the problem, and it's something you struggle with. i have all my life. you can't get so deep into neat ricks that you lose the cause or that you're so elitist in the cause that you forget you've got to attract people. you know, i grew up in new york, so my activism was more theatrical because i'm competing with every tourist attraction in the world. if you grew up in the south, you have a march it's the biggest thing in town. >> jon: you're going up rum
tunnel tigger. >> i had to stop subways and jump over bridges to make people understand that it's wrong for people to get shot at 50 times. jon it's interesting because it is what they've done there is so unusual that it can't be ignored. >> correct. >> jon: now that you have the attention, i guess everybody's impatient for, so, when are you going to change the world for us. >> right. >> jon: there's that sense of that. maybe we're expecting too much. >> i think that we are. but i think they've already achieved something great. they've changed the conversation because three months ago the whole country was on the republican discussion of deficit reduction. we're not talking about jobs. we're not talking about poverty. if nothing else they got us on the conversation that we need to be talking about. >> i thought it was really interesting. >> jon: i thought it was really interesting when it first happened people on the right were very quick to jump out and say, mobs have taken to the streets and the same people that supported the tea party, which was just good americans speaking
their minds. but now even they have softened to the extent of mitt romney in particular. i get the 99%. i'm very much looking out for them. does that surprise you how quick that turns? >> it's really interesting that now they understand that 1% of the country shouldn't be controlling 40%. 99% is... they kept saying that until people got it. now you got the other guys there with 999, but he should drop one nine and talk about the 99%. [applause] >> jon: now we... we're going to have to go to commercial. what are you doing? do you have to go tape your show? >> new york i'm all right. >> jon: can you stick around and we'll have a conversation. the herman cain thing we were talking about with larry, the idea in this country a possible presidential race, two african americans squaring off against each other has to feel like an achievement for people who work in the civil rights movement. >> it is an achievement, but i
think it's also a good point where people that said that guys like me were only supporting obama because he was black, well, cain is southern black, no international parents and i wouldn't support cain if he was running against a white guy. [cheering and applause] >> jon: i think that is a good start. stick around. we'll throw this up on the web. politics nation is on msnpc weeknights at 6:00. reverend al sharpton.