tv The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Comedy Central September 4, 2012 12:05pm-12:35pm PDT
>> change. change we can believe in. >> oh, yes. obviously some at home might be wondering why it's a little lighter there in the sky than people might think at 11:00 at night. it would be -- >> well, yes, at the end of his speech, barack obama brought the sun back. [applause] >> i didn't realize. that's awesome. >> by the way, that killed. >> i guess you should probably go now. >> yeah, yeah, the traffic. >> yes, thank you. aasif mandvi live from invesco field. [cheers and applause] >> now, obviously we'll have full coverage of obama's speech tomorrow. we want to digest it a little bit. it will be a special friday edition of the show. last night's convention
proceedings offered a vivid demonstration of just how empowered the democratic party is in 2008. a moving national anthem sung by a sioux indian meatloaf impersonator gave way to a delegate roll call gavel call to order. it's the pink-suited lady almost conominee who called for the nomination of a black/white/hawaiian, or as it is known in democratic circles, wednesday. don't get nervous, america. they know what they're doing. there were plenty of white dudes to go around last night as well. it's not like the democrats are just a bunch of lesbians sitting around singing "give peace a chance." >> ♪ give peace a chance
[laughter] >> every convention's got one. see that anywhere. last night showed america there was still room in the democratic party for older, verbose white men, and together the alabaster musketeers showed that they were ready for the fight. >> you know, john mccain is my friend. >> the republicans in a few days will nominate a good man. he's served our country heroically. >> i've known and been friends with john mccain for almost 22 years. >> [bleep] on him without reservation, without qualification. what are you doing? may i offer you a sentence you will not hear at the republican
convention? barack obama is heroic and american. >> let's compare senator mccain to candidate mccain. candidate mccain criticizes senator mccain's own climate change bill. candidate mccain says he would vote against the immigration bill that senator mccain wrote. >> yes! that's the stuff! who is this? who is this fast-talking, concise person? senator kerry. i wonder how senator kerry would fare against 2004 candidate kerry? >> it's one thing to be certain, but you can be certain and be wrong. it's another to be certain and be right or be certain and be moving in the right direction, or be certain about a principle and then learn new facts and take those new facts and put them to use in order to change
and get your policy right. [laughter] >> i mean, who, if i may -- [applause] >> thank you. who among us does not fail to think that we must be in so far as not to? [laughter] am i right, ladies? back me up. [cheers] >> kerry unveiled another under-utilized weapon. >> known as spring day in 1945, that great uncle helped liberate one of the concentration camps at buchenwald. ladies and gentlemen, barack obama's uncle is here with us tonight. please join me in saluting this american hero, charlie payne. [applause]
>> [bleep] kidding me? barack obama has an adorable white, war-hero uncle? why is this the first time we're seeing this? [laughter] if i'm obama, every time i campaign down south, i'm having that guy strapped into a baby bjorn and walking around. and the hits just keep on coming! did you guys know that hillary clinton's husband is also in politics? >> i'm here first to support barack obama. >> barack obama knows that america cannot be strong abroad unless we are first strong at home. barack obama is ready to lead america and to restore american leadership in the world. >> so we're cool again, right? all that testy carolina stuff. come on, who's your pal?
perhaps last night's most emotional moment was the introduction of the vice presidential nominee where the delaware senator's son, a national guardsman soon to ship out to iraq, spoke eloquently about his father's asacrifice in the face of family tragedy. >> please welcome beau biden. >> and my brother banana fanna foe biden. [laughter] >> i'm -- i'm -- i'm uncomfortable with real emotion. >> senator biden took the stage, but never forgot where he came from. >> and i'm honored to represent the first state, my state, the state of delaware. >> is that delaware over there?
or did pennsylvania just take a dump? boom, boom! but of course joe biden is on the ticket to brew up obama's porcelain white collar. >> almost every single night i take the train home to wilmington, delaware. sometimes very late. as i sit there in my seat, i look out that window, and i see those flickering lights of the homes that pass by, i can almost hear the conversation they're having at their kitchen table. >> sounds something like this -- why can't we pay our mortgage? why is joe biden -- why do we live near the train tracks? but mostly he did what vice presidential candidates are supposed to do -- try to get into some sort of cathartic
response and call cadence with the audience. >> john voted again and again against renewable energy. that's not change. that's more of the same. that's not change, that's more of the same. that's not change. that's more of the same. >> that's more -- wait, you say the first part and i'll say -- help us! let me show you how it's done. when you take off your clothes, then put the same clothes back on -- >> that's not change. that's more of the same. >> when you give a clerk a $5 bill and he gives you a different $5 bill back -- >> that's not change. that's more of the same. >> when you go for a sex change, and they sew on a second penis -- >> that's not change. that's more of the same.
>> so that was wednesday night. and i'm sorry, what's that? >> honey, tonight we have a very special surprise guest. >> ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, let me it be mario lopez. oh, it's barack obama! hello, everybody, i was just at home taping my christmas special. >> we're going to be moving to mile high stadium tomorrow, and i want to let you know why. we want to open up the convention to make sure that everybody who wants to come can join in the party and join in the effort to take america back -- >> as long as you're within driving distance of mile high stadium up to 70,000 people. and let me say this, america, get there early because hope don't park your [bleep] car! we'll be right back. >> thank you very much.
tonight as many of us saw barack obama officially accepted the democratic nomination for president. while we obviously won't be showing footage from that speech p it's embargoed till tomorrow, we do luckily have obtained a copy of the very stirring by graphical film that they played saluting barack obama before the speech. i think you'll agree it's quite marvelous. >> in a country torn apart by war, driven by a class of factions, it's legacy tattered, its very existence threatened, a hero will come. >> ♪ >> i feel change in the air! >> he's the one. he is the one.
>> they would give me an african name, barack. oh, blessed. ♪ >> the story of barack obama begins 180 million years ago when the super continent broke apart, scattering the races of man, sentencing humankind to a segregated existence of famine, war, and intolerance, until august 4th, 1961a.d. the oiled of oahu, a child was born, destined to heal that rift. the earthly son of a goat herder from darkest africa, and anthropologist from whitest
wichita. black and white, christian and muslim, land mammal and sea creature, his exploits would be legend. the adolescent obama was always -- [laughter] by the time he was 15, he was by his own account uniting an astonishing 31 flavors of ice cream. he knew he was destined for more, but what? >> finally took the present to kenya. >> on a trip to his ancestral home, a vision showed him the way. >> barack obama, he's stepping down in district 13. you should think about running for a seat in the illinois state
senate. >> that goat was right. and with him by his side, barack obama completed his higher education, and seat belt of seta historic career in the illinois state legislature. >> that should be a commercial and not presidential. politicians shouldn't have free access. >> the state purchasing act should apply to all state agencies. >> and after serving more than 2/3 of one decades the caught the notice of the party elders and soon found himself on a national stage. >> ♪ >> it was there that he found his voice. >> i believe that we have a right to the facts. >> a voice that would unite us at all. >> there is not a liberal america and a conservative america. there is the united states of america. >> my god, he's good. >> there is not a black america and a white america and latino
america and asian america. it's the united states of america. >> every time barack obama speaks, an angel has an anointed. >> we are the ones we've been waiting for. >> i don't even know what that means, but holy [bleep] i'm feeling it. >> we coach little league in the blue state, and yes, we've got a good friends in the west state. >> now, at the precipice of a new age, one man seems ready enough to lead. one man who will once more unite the world. >> ♪ the circle of life >> barack obama. [cheers and applause]
great state of indiana. please welcome senator evan bayh. sir, thank you for joining us. [cheers and applause] historic night. huge night for the democratic party. the speech, wow, that was, you know -- you know, that was great. >> i'll take your word for it, jon. >> it's happening later on. >> yeah. >> have you had a chance to spend time with senator bayh? you were also vetted for the vice presidential -- what's your impression? you were obviously a senator clinton supporter, but being considered on the short list of vice presidential candidates. >> i had a chance to spend good quality personal time with barack. when i came home, i told my wife, i said, dear, he's the real deal. he's in this for the right reason, he cares about our country. he says he's a pragmatist, he wants to get things done to help people in their daily lives. this is a guy that will be a great president. >> does he talk like that in private? "evan, i'm a real deal, i'm a
pragmatist"? >> we talked about our kids and talked about sports. you know, he's a regular person. >> oh, that's nice. now, what's your sports situation? who you with? >> well, you know, we have the colts in indianapolis. so we're kind of big on that. i was just trying to get you beaten up. >> if they can't be the broncos, you know, the colts are okay, okay? >> fair enough. >> they keep saying, hey, this year indiana might be in play to go to the democrats. i guess my first question to that is, really? and if i may have a follow-up, really? >> and my response is really. >> really. >> really. john kerry lost our state by 21 points. al gore lost our state by 16. the polls right now have it dead even in indiana. and that's primarily for two reasons. number one, barack's great strength. we've registered 150,000 to 200,000 young people, people
turned off by politics. he's created a lot of energy and excitement. conversely, there's a lot of independents and even reasonable republicans who can't take four more years of what we've had. [cheers and applause] >> i'm not sure the audience agrees. has this convention played out in the way -- you know, we sort of sit behind -- and to me it feels so pro forma, because i'm so accustomed to the format. do we need to change this format or has this played out exactly the way it's supposed to, the way you wanted it to? what's your opinion? >> i think it's gone well. michelle was fabulous the first night. ted kennedy reminded us of what public service is all about. i thought hillary was strong, in reminding people it's not about the individual candidates. bill clinton said, i was president for eight years, this man is fully qualified to be an
excellent leader of our country. >> your father was a senator. you're a senator. if you had been a house republican -- house democrat in congress, would that have been a huge embarrassment to the family? >> oh, you know, actually my father was -- when i told him i was going to run for office the first time, we sat down, he said, you sure you want to do it? don't do it because of me, it's got to be because of you and what you want to do for the people. he's always been great about that. my own kids, i want them to do whatever they think is right in life. >> that's the nicest thing a father can say. thank you, sir. thanks for coming on the show. senator evan bayh of indiana! [applause]
we asked over 3,000 doctors to review 5-hour energy and what they said is amazing. over 73 percent who reviewed 5-hour energy said they would recommend a low calorie energy supplement to their healthy patients who use energy supplements. seventy-three percent. 5-hour energy has four calories and it's used over nine million times a week.