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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  September 18, 2012 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

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captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. got a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight, the author salman rushdie. i can't imagine which events currently in the news will be discussed. (laughter) hey, remember the republican conventions that took place two weeks ago. big opportunity for one mitt romney. >> he will have his first major national platform to introduce himself and his ideas to the
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american people. >> jon: yes! (laughter) after only a solid, let's say, seven years on the campaign trail. (laughter) mitt romney finally had a prime time television slot to introduce himself to the voters. and ultimately ended up getting upstaged by a piece of wood. all right. (laughter) a piece of wood who spent most of his time talking to a chair. boom! (laughter) boom! (cheers and applause) no. i still love clint eastwood. i'm going on record. still love clint eastwood. all right, just three weeks after being upstage bid a chair and completely botching his response to the horrible events in libya, a new announcement from the romney campaign. >> the romney camp is said to be engineering a reboot. >> call it a romney reset. >> we begin with mitt romney who's just unveiled a new campaign strategy. >> jon: did we say we were gonna introduce him at the convention? no, no. that's not-- (laughter). you always reintroduce the
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candidate three weeks after the convention. (laughter) sort of like saying to a girl "come on, just go on a seventh date with me." (laughter) "i'll grow on you." (laughter) so the big rollout of romney 9.0 started yesterday. how'd the reboot go. >> topping the agenda today, mitt romney in damage control mode. >> jon: on day one of the reboot? (laughter) yes, the romney campaign's reboot was spoiled by footage from last may of governor romney at a $50,000 a plate fund-raiser talking to rich people about poorer people in a manner you would imagine cartoon rich people talk about cartoon poorer people. (laughter) >> there are 47% of the people who will vote for the president no matter what who are dependent on government, who believe that they are victims. who believe that they're
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entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. >> jon: release the hound. (laughter and applause) who are they? who are these 47%ers? these self-perceived victims who only want to stuck from the teet of the bootstrap of the job creating-- teet-having boot-teet-- just tell us who they are. >> these are people who pay no income taxes. so my job is not to worry about those people. i'll never get their support. they should take personal responsibility and care for their own lives. >> jon: did you hear it? did you write that down? the people who don't pay income tax. these 47% of this country that will never be convinced to take personal responsibility for their lives. they are unconvincable. even by a man of such persuasive abilities as mitt romney. (laughter) even he whose charisma has been
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compared not unfavorably with a 1993 chrysler he barren. (laughter) even he-- who are these 47%ers? let's examine it. it turns out of the 47% who pay no income taxes, nearly two-thirds of those do pay payroll taxes. meaning they work, they just ain't working hard enough. you know, like a family of five making $50,000 a year. a.k.a., the amount of money it takes to see mitt romney (bleep) on them in person. (laughter) and the other 40%, the true freeloaders. settle down. the other 40% of the 47%, the true freeloaders who pay no federal income tax or payroll tax are actually made up of those making less than $20,000 a year and many of the nation's elderly. mr. romney knows them as "personal responsibility shirking unconvincables." you may know them as "the
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greatest generation" and/or "that that." (laughter) of course, that says nothing about the real parasites, welfare queens. public assistance is clearly a path to dependency and i would like to see evidence otherwise. oh, you have some evidence, mitt romney's mom? something about mitt romney's dad? >> you know we've only owned our home for the last four years. he was a refugee from mexico. he was on relief, welfare relief for the first years of his life. but this great country gave him opportunities. >> jon: oh. my. god. (laughter) george romney was on welfare. so according to mitt romney's own logic, mitt romney could not win the vote of his dad. (laughter) who would be one of the 47% of unconvincables. and the hits keep coming.
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romney continues in the video suggest the palestinians don't want peace and all we can do in the middle east is kick the can down the road and hope for the best and that, while his dad was born in mexico he, unfortunately, doesn't get the full benefit of that. >> i'd have a better shot of winning this. my dad was not born in mexico. he was living in there for a number of years. i say that jokingly. (audience reacts). >> jon: you can't do that. you can't make the joke and then immediately double down on the seriousness of the premise. "hey, jimmy's mom, what a whore. i'm kidding. but seriously, she earns her living having sex with people." (applause) that's not a way-- by the end of this tape, the only person who whose support mitt romney might be able to count on holding is his own wife. >> we use anne sparingly right now so people don't get tired of her or start attacking.
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(audience reacts). >> jon: hey, hey. no, hey, hey, show me a beautiful woman and i'll show you someone tired of campaigning with her, am i right, huh? i'm kidding, of course. i'm kidding. but seriously, it is unbearable. (laughter) needless to say, mitt romney had to address this situation mid-reboot. >> good evening. i understand that there's a video that's been on the internet for a few weeks that has attracted some attention. (laughter) >> jon: that pretty much describes every video on the internet. (laughter) are you talking about gangnam style? panda sneezing? oh, right, the video of you disrespecting 47% of americans. that's why you just casually interrupted a big fund-raiser at 10:30 at night with the mitt romney version of bed head. >> this is really a discussion about the political process of winning the election and, of
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course, i want to help all americans, all americans, have a bright and prosperous future. >> jon: sure, yeah, no, wow. his words say "no big deal, i want to help all americans." but his eyes and body language say "holy (bleep), we're all gonna die!" (laughter) let me give you a better example to illustrate the dichotomy between the message mitt romney is sending verbally and the message he's sending visually. ladies and gentlemen, i take you to a cruise ship somewhere in the north atlantic. (laughter) hey, ladies and gentlemen, it's me, your captain. i understand there's been some talk of ice on the star board side of the ship. (laughter) that's attracted some attention. (laughter) (cheers and applause) anyway, i-- i just want to take a moment to reassure everybody we have it under control. obviously we all look forward to reaching the other side of the
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ocean with everybody not in a watery grave. (laughter) this would be so much easier if i was latino. (laughter and applause)
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welcome back. now, we're talking about mitt romney's relationship with the latino community was already somewhat strained. then came the release of these tapes with him saying things like this. >> it would be helpful if i were latino. >> jon: yes, very helpful. that's taken romney's relationship from no bueno to bueno b *ubgseno and he knows that is dangerous. >> if the hispanic block become a committed to to the democrats as the african americans have we're in trouble as a party and i think as a nation. (audience reacts). >> jon: and this is a guy whose religion forbids him from drinking alcohol. can you imagine what he would say if he was (bleep) faced? (laughter) hey, let me tell you something else, don't get me started on
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the asians, i'll telling you! tricky, tricky people. for more on the story, we're joined by al madrigal and jessica williams. thank you for joining us. (applause) al madrigal, jessica, do you take these comments as a latino, as an african american, as offensive in any way. >> wait, you mean romney is not a latino? are you sure about that? >> jon: yeah. >> he's got great hair, five kids, his wife drives two cadillacs. it sound pretty latino to me. (laughter). >> jon: he's not. but he's saying that if he was latino it would be easier for him to become president. >> not just president, jon, everything in this country is easier if you're latino. (laughter) you think i could have gotten into college if i wasn't latino? no way! affirmative action! it's just like shakespeare said "of all the races 'twixt earth and sky, latinos are the luckiest." (laughter)
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>> jon: um, which play was that from? >> the one with the latinos in it. (laughter) "romeo and juliet." (applause) like i said, i only got into college because i'm latino. >> hey, well, that's nothing, all right? i'm black and a woman. we don't even have to apply to college. we just send in a head shot and they send us a diploma. (laughter) which reminds me, i need to mail this. med school graduation, here i come! (laughter). >> jon: but romney has degrees. romney has a law degree, an m.b.a. >> right, but as an underprivileged rich white male he had to earn those! >> jon: but he had a lot of help. he just-- it wasn't from the government. his father paid for his education, gave him a loan for his first house. it gives him an edge in building a successful business. >> jon, you're missing the point. he still had to build his business. latinos just have to wait for
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someone else to build it then we landscape it and move in. (laughter). (applause). >> jon: i didn't know that. that-- >> jon: not to mention that we never have to look for work. it just comes to us! i can stand on a street corner anywhere in the country and guarantee you a pickup truck will pull up and literally offer me a job on the spot. (laughter) >> he's right. you know, the system's been against romney from the start. look at the government housing he grew up in. that's what? huh? three stories? black people get, like, 50 stories of government housing. (laughter) and you know, which ever way you look at it, john, being a minority and/or poor is a net positive. >> jon: all right. al maddrey gal and jessica williams, evev (cheers and applause).
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>> jon: my guest tonight is best selling author, his new book is a memoir called "joseph anton." please welcome to the program salman rushdie. (cheers and applause) how are you?
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>> not so bad, thank you. >> jon: um, wow. (laughter) "owe josef anton: a memoir." you went through hell. but i think it's very difficult to place yourself in someone else's shoes until you read about it in vivid and quite beautifully written prose. >> oh, thank you. >> jon: oh, you're very welcome. describe that-- it's sort of this incredible day, it's valentine's day. go through the day you find out that another nation's leader has singled you out to die for a book you wrote. >> well, i was sitting at home, i got called at home by the bbc. >> jon: this ises pretwitter? (laughter) >> pretwitter, prefacebook, there's no cell phone. there's just fax machines. remember those? >> jon: i do remember those. (laughter) >> well, that's how long ago it was. anyway, the phone rings, a land
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line phone jon. (laughter). >> jon: with, like, a cord? (laughter) >> yes, with, like, a cord. with the handle attached to this-- >> jon: like a lime green kitchen phone and you're just talking around like-- you're in a robe making a smoothie, whatever. >> exactly, humming early beatles songs. >> jon: yes! >> anyway, this woman says to me on the phone "how does it feel that-to-know that you've just been sentenced to death by the aoeayatollah khomeini?" i thought "good question." (laughter) and i said something stupid like, you know, it doesn't feel that good. and than i ran down stairs and ridiculously locked the front door. (laughter) so then it was okay. >> jon: right, right. pull the blinds. >> yeah, exactly. >> jon: it doesn't start to dawn on you-- it's so interesting, too. you write about this as sort of th-t another person.
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>> well, it sort of was another person, you know? i-- i felt-- i mean i feel now like that was happening to somebody else. and i wrote the book because i-- like a novel because i felt that somehow my life turned into a sort of spy novel. suddenly there were armed policemen and there were-- i was take on the the james bond building on the thames with people who actually had double-o prefixes and then i was being told that there were assassination squads on the way from somewhere, you know? and i mean this is kind of-- now it makes a good book. at the time not so good. (laughter). >> jon: sure. there are other ways to get good material for a book. sebastian junker will sometimes climb something. >> jon: i think if you can avoid being sentenced to death by the aoeu toe lacombe mainny and have death squads, avoid it.
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(laughter). >> jon: so all together the lesson here is not really worth a good book. >> well, you know, i'm a writer. i mean, sebastian junger climbs mountains, i do stuff for books. >> jon: when you look at what's going on today, is it like watching the sequel to a terrible movie that you were involved in and now obviously you're happy it's starring a different actor or-- >> except it's gotten a (bleep) in the central role. (laughter). (cheers and applause) >> jon: so this is very interesting. so you look at the guy in the central role here and for you you go, okay, that guys an as (bleep). is it still-- does your heart go out to him or do you feel like, oh, well this guy was trying to be provocative. you were not trying to be provocative. what is the difference in your mind? >> well, look we have to defend his right to free speech. we have to. the first amendment is one of the most valuable things we
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have. but that doesn't mean we have to not say he's a jerk. >> jon: right. >> because even jerks have the right to free speech but they're still jerks and he did something clearly in order to incite a response. >> jon: right. >> and the sad thing is that he got exactly the response he was trying to incite only in spades. so it's like both sides kind of collaborating to create this calamity. >> jon: and what is-- what is this calamity? because ultimately is this an exercise in leaders of other countries finding a distraction? how much of this do you feel like was heart felt insult on their part and how much of it was cynical manipulation of the population? >> i think it's mostly cynical manipulation. i think now unfortunately in parts of the islamic world there's a kind of outrage industry, you know? where people are there trying to fine things that they can then wind up the troops and launch them, usually at american targets. >> jon: right. >> you know, if you have the leader of hezbollah saying that this was all planned by u.s.
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intelligence-- >> jon: they have not seen what we can do. (laughter) we don't pull a lot of this stuff up. you know, what struck me is this comes from youtube and it's some guy. is it because in that part of the world the government does control a lot of the material that comes out so they have a hard time imagining just individuals uploading something on their own? >> or they can be fooled to think that it's somehow part of the government. the government had to approve it because, you know, you live a part of the world that the government has to approve everything. if you want to take a photograph of your wife, the government has to approve it. but it's-- no, it is really a power play. this is people trying to bid up from each other about who gets to shape the future of that part of the world. >> jon: it was interesting. even in iran when they were doing the green revolution right after the election there and ahmadinejad was reelected in iraq and accusations of fraud even then the government was saying "these are not our people rising up, these are western
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agents whipping up, these are saboteurs." >> that's right. >> jon: there is never any sense that there's fallibility. >> no, it's always deflected into an anti-western-- one of the things i try to say in the book is that what happened to me way back in the days of fax machines was a kind of prelude, a kind of prologue, if you like, to what's happening now. because i think you can draw a straight line from then to now and see the growth of this phenomenon of sort of organized outrage. >> jon: and what stops it? in your mind is it everyone standing up at once or is it something that has to burn out within its own population? >> i think unfortunately that, probably. and i think there's times that it does. i mean, you know, the rule of the aoeu toe la is not popular in iran. the rule of the taliban was not popular in afghanistan. so this stuff does seem to take over, particularly attract young men with nothing better to do,
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no girlfriends. (laughter). >> jon: right. oh, my god, this could all be solved by j-date. well, not j-date, but i-date. that could do it. you have to go, you're running. otherwise we would talk for-- >> otherwise i'd stay here. >> jon: you'd stay here for things. "joseph anton." it's on the bookshelves now. an incredible story. salman rushdie, everybody. (cheers and applause)
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