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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 10, 2013 1:00am-1:31am PDT

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cool. - what'd you think about that show, man? - what'd i think about that show that just happened right there? - that happened right there. - man, that jam was noice! - come on. - good night, everybody. - it was noice! - noice! noice! - noice! - noice! - ♪ i'm gonna do my one line here ♪ - oh, yeah. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, oh, we've got a good one. from the new film "12 years a
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slave" which is a phenomenal film michael fassbender is joining us tonight. [cheers and applause] it is as always time for our continuing coverage of. ♪ -- you know when we built that open i was worried maybe we wouldn't use it enough to justify -- [laughter] -- how much money it was going to cost and now i'm worried that 2013 is is going to be limiting. [ laughter ] a lot of our attention has been focused on the capitol hill and the house republicans but the president is also a player in all of this. what is his mind set with regard to a ceding of republican demands. see if you can read between the lines of his ring and index finger. >> i'm not budging when it comes
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to the full faith and credit of the united states. i'm going to repeat it. there will be no negotiations over this. >> jon: if i was on deal or no deal, i would say no deal. hey, hey if i was on let's make a deal, no deal. hey, if i was on deal of fortune, i would say isn't this show called wheel of fortune, still -- no deal. [laughter] what if he enter -- if they dont understand no or nooo, what do you have in a colorful analogy. >> when you are at the plant in the middle of your job do you ever say to your boss, unless i get a raise right now and more vacation pay, i'm going to just shutdown the plant? [laughter] >> jon: i'm pretty sure you just described a union strike. [ laughter ] all right.
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clearly the president's point is you can't punish everybody because you don't get exactly what you want. >> the republicans wouldn't take the president's use of metaphor metaphorica la lange wig lying down. >> jon: me see and raise you a trip to kinkos for senator tom coburn. >> just for a minute i'd like for us to consider and i'd ask for unanimous consent to have scissors on the floor because i want to make a point in a minute. >> jon: i would like permission to use scissors? that is the best evidence yet that our congress functions at a kinder kindergarten level. but no, continue. >> we're $30 trillion in the hole plus another $17 trillion in debt. >> actually what we should do is we should cut this credit card up which is what i'm going to do because that's the way i vote.
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i think it's time we quit borrowing money. actually i think i'll just tear it up. time we quit borrowing money -- [laughter] >> jon: what are you doing? [laughter] do you know how angry the giant whose credit card that is is going to be? fiee, fie, fo, fum. giant advice. angry giant aside i'm pretty sure cutting up the country's credit card doesn't make the debt go away. you industrial to pay it. credit cards are not like cursed med it will dallons where you destroy it and it loses all its power. they still find you. the greatest talk goes to mike
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lee of utah. >> supposing you go to the grocery store having been informed by your spouse that you need to bring home bread, milk and eggs. >> jon: you believe you are a family man running errands for frerchg toast day. what could be more wholesome. >> we won't allow to you buy just bread, milk and eggs. in order to buy these items at this store, we'll require to you purchase a half ton of iron ore, a bucket of nails, a book about could you boi poetry -- cowboy poetry and a barry manilow albums. >> jon: you are a family man runninger wards forced to buy poetry and gay cowboy music. you are saying people in congress are forced to spay for some stuff they don't want and that's not fair. but unfortunately, that's called being in a country with some
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people who aren't exactly you. let's talk about what vealy happening at that store. everybody chipped in and give you the money to go to the store to buy milk, bred bread and eggs and you say eggs are turning our country muslim so i'm going to buy just eggs. everybody is like we passed the law that said would you buy milk, bread, and eggs and that supreme court upheld the shopping list and that's when you burn the (bleep) store down. [cheers and applause] is there any way out of this mess? >> there's also, i think a large contingent of republicans who even if they were to vote their conscience would vote to fund the government. >> there's 1500 fed up with the policy. >> there would be 150 if it were
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a secret ballot. >> jon: 180 if they could write fake names. congressman dick hertz votes aye. if all these reasonable republicans want to do the right thing, why don't they? >> so even when they want a deal, they need cover because they are going to get a primary on the right. >> you've got maybe 50 die hard conservatives in the house and 150 republicans terrified of being primaried by one of those. >> jon: so they are willing to let people lose their government paycheck so that they don't lose their government paycheck. we turn to capitol hill bureau chief al madrigal. -- thank you for joining us. this seems crazy. why are these moderate republicans hiding behind closes doors? >> maybe they are afraid of
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being judged by friends, colleagues, afraid of not being accepted for who they are. >> jon: judged for what, for being moderate? >> they prefer curious. [ laughter ] and there's wayor realize, theyn achut political orientation, how other? >> they use an app called voter. >> jon: voter? >> without the e, you sign up and other responsible republicans can see your profile and decide if they want to meet up. [ laughter ] i do a lot of zumba so i -- >> jon: yeah, yeah because it seemed like you but with better -- what do you use that app for? >> it helps me find men who will (bleep) me. [ laughter ] but who don't want to run through the debt ceiling. it's fiscally safe sex, john.
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>> jon: al, can't this group of closeted republicans understand it's 2013. it's cool. majority of americans would respect them more if they made the dhois be openly responsible. >> jon, it's not a choice it's who you are. you are either born responsible or you are not. >> jon: that's (bleep) al. responsibility is something taught and learned over time. if people were born responsible babies wouldn't need diapers, they would just climb up on the toilet and enjoy a relaxing read like everybody else. so you are saying the republicans are just being babies and pooping all over the country when they could choose to grow up and be responsible. >> jon: it's what i'm saying, al. >> those (bleep). when i get on votr later i'll give the responsible republicans a piece of my mind and then you know what? >> j>> j
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[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. you know, ladies and gentlemen, we're lucky enough, fortunate enough to be present at the dawning of the next evolution of cable news. this is say new hub for breaking news coverage for all of fox news channel. we call it the fox news deck. [ laughter ] >> jon: well, shep it's
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certainly bright. looks like you threw one of walter cronkite's bones into the arrest tick in a for tres of newsitude from the ice. soon you'll be taking orders from a giant head. my son, you must go live amongst the people of fox though you are never fully one of them because your show is on in the afternoon when you are marginally less idea logical. shep smith one of those people at fox i like very much. i think he is very good. i think i should give him the benefit of the doubt even if it he is spawning most ridiculously large ipad. do you know how mad the giant you took those from is going to be? first his credit card -- [cheers and applause] that guy is losing all his stuff today. what marvels does the
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news-atarium boost beyond touch screens. this is what remains of tropical storm karen. >> jon: wow. that's a big map. you do know that no matter how huge you blow up your maps and monitors for us our televisions are the same size because we still have the same tvs we had last week. you could be stand in front of an imax but i vil a 32 inch samsung. >> our hope is over the days and weeks of months and years ahead we're able to vet much of this for you. >> jon: so it's all for report something in nothing that you said really couldn't be done using a phone. [ laughter ] paper and a pen. you don't get to be better newsmen because your computers go to 11.
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which brings us to our new segment, hey, fox i think you are fixing the nonbroken part. [cheers and applause] the problem at fox news has never been its screens. remember karl rove's white board or glenn beck's chalk board. no one ever looked at those guys and thought they are (bleep) crazy to be use such antiquated technology. [ laughter ] they were just (bleep). [laughter] but listen, this new technology doesn't happen a valued skeptical to the detriment of editorial judgment z it? >> what it allows me to do is control is through the media of the day. this is a -- this happens to be a palestinian woman who is having a beef with an israeli soldier and this tony romeo from last -- tony romo last night 506 yards passing and managed to
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lose. there was a late pick but what a game. >> jon: two quick things: two pocket biggie had a -- tupac and biggie had a beef. the palestinian israeli conflict is more of a bottomless cup of sadness. while the cowboys loss on sunday may have been tragic to some, i don't think those pictures should be next to each other. this is why i'm worried shepherd smith, this is what worries me. the giant screens screens are flatdenning out the news. suddenly nothing has any difference or context. can't you see what they've done to you? you were too beautiful for their world. [ laughter ] so they are destroying you with the only sure fire way they know to ruin a real news man. they put you in a situation room. shep you've been cnned your
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staff has lost all respect for you. every time you turn your back they are playing fruit ninja. you see that. such a waste of time and delicious fruit. don't sell your soul for belgian whistles, my man. >> he is held on suspicious of manslaughter. that is the latest we've heard. >> eight people dead and dozens hurt. these thi funre fun
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[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. our next guest one of our favorites two films coming out tally the counselor and the next one called "12 years a slave." >> i brought here back just like you -- >> ah. >> i got it. just distract. >> right there. stay away from it, boy. [laughter] >> jon: that's the lightest moment in it, i promise you. it's a rough movie. please welcome back to the
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program michael fassbender. [cheers and applause] thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> jon: i want to tell you. i know you've been on the program before. you've always been delightful. you are in this movie a terrible, terrible person. >> i know. i know. [ laughter ] >> jon: you -- i'm watching this movie and i'm thinking no, don't make him do -- oh. but he's no nice. >> in louisiana, they actually a few of them misbehaving don't be an epps. this guy's name is still synonymous with being a bit of a prick. >> jon: really? it got into the vernacular. it's an actual memoir written by a man who is free. >> salomon northrop a free man
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in new york who got tricked by a couple of characters thinking he was going to make money and they drugged him and ended up waking up in chains and shaped down to the south and spent 12 years in slavery. >> jon: and it is not in anyway what would you consider a hollywood representation tsms a stark reality -- representation. it's a stark reality, difficult at times to watch but incredibly well done. >> i really think steve has made a master work here. >> jon: steve mcqueen, just a phenomenal filmmaker. >> powerful. it's not pulling any punches but it's not also trying to hype anything up. it is as it was. >> jon: do people stay away from you on set? i'm curious, some of the things that you have to do are obviously not only physically demanding. >> i couldn't go method on this
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one because -- [laughter] >> jon: i could see that that would be difficult. are they like let's go have an istea? >> sometimes -- an iced tea. >> sometimes, yeah. when you are dealing with heavy material it's nice and necessary to have light moments in between so it doesn't become all the time just so sort of heavy and you kind of get maybe a little bit sort of blinkered on it. the moments where you can find relief and respite you do. >> jon: you have read the script. when you are in it, when you watch it, does it have the power. i watched it. i may have -- there might have been some acrid dust in my office while i was watching it which created a certain -- i think an autonomic response.
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>> that and an onion. >> jon: that and i were a suit of onions in my office. it's incredibly powerful and moving at times. do you lose the ability to enjoy it as a viewer having been a part of it. did it still have the power to you when i watched it? >> absolutely. the first time i got the script it was actually, you know, in tears at the end of it. it was such a beautiful story and such an important one. i really wanted to be part of it and take on the responsibility of it. i saw it -- i've only seen it once and for the first time in telluride in colorado at the film festival there. >> jon: how does an audience -- in america, obviously you are not from this country but obviously slavery as much as we have obviously been taught that it didn't happen. [ laughter ] and that the war was basically just a cotton pricing issue.
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how does an american audience watch it because it is an absolutely mirror in the face of a dark time in our history but one that we ourselves lived with for 100 years. what is an american audience, how do they respond? >> well, you know like history teachers that, you know we're all made of the same stuff and i think it's a universal story. you know, slavery was a problem not only here but might have taken a little bit longer for it to be abolished but something going on in the uk and britain and the belgians in the congo. this say universal story. america is made up of lots of different countries and that is what makes it so special. >> jon: exactly. it wasn't our fault. as i was saying to you -- (bleep) britain. >> they are responsible for everything.
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>> jon: thank you so much. [ laughter ] it's -- it's phenomenal work. >> thank you so much. >> jon: excellent. i urge people to go check it out as someone who is working on something myself, what a terrible idea to watch how good this is. [ laughter ] >> i'm looking forward to seeing yours. when is it -- >> jon: it's just as good. it's open in select cities as well. [ laughter ] "12 years
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>> jon: that is our show. join us tomorrow at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> they've had over 8 million hits, people tried to sign up and so far they have people in the single digits. >> i'm not exactly clear what you mean b >> stephen: tonight, did a congressional candidate violate election laws? even more shocking, we have election laws? (laughter) then, twitter prepares for its i.p.o. hashtag: i don't know what an i.p.o. is. (laughter) my guest tom hanks stars in the new film "captain phillips." he's a hero who saves the day using a particular type of screwdriver. the congressional

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