Skip to main content

tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  October 27, 2014 6:27pm-6:59pm PDT

6:27 pm
>> jon: he can't not participate. a debate must have at least two parties to be considered a debate otherwise it's a master-bait, it's just one. perhaps governor scott is late. maybe he's late. perhaps the hairless incumbent got sidetracked looking for a snack. look there. but it was the reason for governor scott's absence that reminded me why life is so beautiful. >> governor crist has asked to have a fan, a small fan placed underneath his podium. the rules of the debate that i was shown by the scott campaign say that there should be no fan. somehow there is a fan there and for that reason, ladies and gentlemen, i am being told that governor scott will not join us for this debate.
6:28 pm
>> jon: governor rick scott of florida refused to debate former governor of florida crist because former governor crist has a fan that appears to be providing a small amount of respite for his presumably sweaty balls. thank you, jesus! look, we all know what's happening here. it's florida. there's a humid environment in florida. crist's boys got sweaty so the former governor pops down and picks up a fan at bed, balls and beyond. what's the issue? >> the first question i want to ask you, governor crist, is why did you insist on bringing a fan here? >> why not? you know, is there anything wrong with being comfortable? >> jon: now that is how you win votes in florida.
6:29 pm
right now a million in florida are turning to their friend going, i mean he's got a point, you know, you stand all night in the lights, i mean he should be comfortable, uh? of course, those of you who follow florida politics or have a google alert set for florida ball fan controversy, were hardly surprised by the scandal. >> this happened back in 2006 as well when crist was running for republican nomination for governor. there was a dispute over a fan then, too. they ended up sharing the fan. . >> jon: no! sadly those days of bipartisan accommodation are long gone. and while we were once a nation of ball fan sharers, in today's divided politics, we would rather stew in our own
6:30 pm
testicular moisture than reach across the aisle to bring a fresh wind of compromise. as abraham lincoln once said, a scrotum divided against it is cannot stand because it is really not a weight-bearing, it really just flops. it's hard to imagine this is our country. of course, all wonderful things must come to an end. eventually rick scott did appear, allowing floridians to discuss the issues they care about most. >> let's find out what the voters are saying through social media. let's go the mannie garcia of the naples daily news. mannie, what's trending on social media right now? >> well, the fan. >> jon: in fact charlie crist
6:31 pm
ball twitter feed has been blowing up. guys, the fan isn't supposed to have fans, hash tag grundle brag. my day we called that a taint. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. honestly, we could have delved in to all the terrible actual answers rick scott gave in the debate about his horrifying policies from florida. but is that not nearly as fun as him missing four minutes of a debate because his opponent had a fan pointed at his balls. for more on the story we go to samantha bee in florida. sam, thank you for joining us. can you tell us why rick scott reacted so strongly to charlie crist's efforts to cool down chip and dale, for lack of a better -- >> your guess is as good as mine. florida politics has a long tradition of an electoral
6:32 pm
ball-coolery. from the inauguration of andrew jackson as the state's first governor, to the 2000 presidential race when hundreds of broward county ballots were rendered indecipherable due to copious amounts of ball sweat. >> jon: remind me again why voters in florida in that election insisted on wiping ballots on their balls? >> i'm sure you remember the ballots were very poorly designed and all those old people got confused. they intended to vote for al gore and instead they accidentally stuck the ballots down their pants. >> jon: i remember that. >> yeah. >> jon: is this a statewide issue, sam? >> well, not the whole state. this area here in the south. >> jon: right. >> this area is generally more arid. the problem really comes when you're down here when you reach
6:33 pm
up in this area. just gets extremely damp and swampy and just gross. >> to clarify, that what about clearing out some of the swamp land? >> you're talking about deforestation? >> it would help cool it down, but ultimately there's the upkeep and then once that foliage begins to grow back, it's also somehow even grocer. >> jon: i get it. >> the point is, don't shave your balls, jon. >> jon: i understand. sam, where are you now? >> well, jon, right now i'm at florida's scrotogen labs where they are working night and day to combat floridian ball sweat. >> jon: how is the research coming? >> let me show you an early prototype. >> jon: is that -- sam, is that an open fan on the inside of the underwear? that seems like any cooling benefit would be undercut by obviously the mangling. >> yeah, well, after years of trials, they have come to that same conclusion.
6:34 pm
so i give you the testi-cool 5000. >> seems complicated for underwear. >> you get used to it. >> they don't seem particularly effective in terms of cooling in a debate environment. >> well, there is one other option in development. it's a vertical ventilation open port aperture. it's of course manually operated. >> jon: so basically your advice would be keep your fly open. >> i guess for the layman, okay. >> jon: thanks so much, sam, >> jon: thanks so much, sam, good luck. hey oh, one bloody mary, served at a perfect 98.6 degrees. some drinks are hardly refreshing. [glass shattering] nah dog, i'm good. this party's dead, i love it. new redd's wicked apple refreshingly hard it's the $6.99 pick your pairs deal at pizza hut. pick two medium pizzas and a total of four toppings for $6.99 each. want two toppings on one and two on the other? three and one? get it however you want, and on your favorite crusts! pan, thin 'n crispy, or hand tossed. just $6.99 a pizza.
6:35 pm
pizza hut. asons than ever why now is the best time to be on verizon. one: verizon's the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in the country. that's right america. with xlte in over 400 markets. two: and here's something for families to get excited about. our best ever pricing with double the data on select plans. and three: you can now get our best ever single line pricing starting at $45. so get all this now, on the network ranked #1 for data performance nationwide. verizon. come on! let's hide in the attic. no. in the basement. why can't we just get in the running car? are you crazy? let's hide behind the chainsaws.
6:36 pm
smart. yeah. ok. if you're in a horror movie, you make poor decisions. it's what you do. this was a good idea. shhhh. be quiet. i'm being quiet. you're breathing on me! if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. head for the cemetery! what's in your hamburger? i've read that there's horsemeat in your food. what is really in your beef? is the beef 100%? your all beef patties, are they all beef? what is actually in the hamburgers? (vo)solver of the teacher of the un-teachable. you lower handicaps... and raise hopes. and from national. because only national lets you choose any car in the aisle... and go. you can even take a full-size or above, and still pay the mid-size price. (pro) nice drive. (vo) well played, business pro. well played. go national. go like a pro.
6:37 pm
female announcer: you'reduring sleep train's triple choice sale. for a limited time, you can choose to save hundreds on beautyrest and posturepedic mattress sets. or choose $300 in free gifts with sleep train's most popular tempur-pedic mattresses. you can even choose 48 months interest-free financing on the new tempur-choice, with head-to-toe customization. the triple choice sale ends soon at sleep train. ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪
6:38 pm
. >> thank you. so you know how some political ideas sound great in theory. you think man, if only we could test theories in a giant experiment involving millions of people's lives. you know, who would be crazy enough to agree? turns out kansas. jessica williams reports on the results. >> in 2010 former senator and fetus whisperer sam brownback elected governor of kansas and he had a dream. >> expansion of gun rights,' strictses on abortion, sharply reduce welfare rolls, increased voter renl straks scrutiny. >> a boring white guy dream. >> get taxes down and stimulate growth. >> republicans rejoiced. >> i did vote for governor broen back, we did get tax cuts. >> under the brownback tax plan any owner of a business doesn't have to pay tax.
6:39 pm
>> it's unique, kansas is the only state doing that. >> wouldn't you like to have a whole bunch of less taxes and more revenue and more jobs? that sounds great. >> you're living in a kansas utopia. >> republican boners. >> this would be the erection of a conservative up topia. >> the results will be well. >> the results of the experiment are in. only one problem. >> it's an abject failure. >> i'm sorry, what? >> i wish it had worked. it would be great. >> yeah. >> this is really an experiment gone horribly wrong. >> okay. how bad could it be? . >> credit downgrades, deficit spending, cuts in education, cuts in highways, that's what i call a train wreck. >> i see what's happening here. are you sure you're a republican? >> i'm a republican. >> because you don't sound like one. name a hip hop artist. >> tupac and -- >> you're taking too long.
6:40 pm
>> there are several others. >> okay, you're a republican. >> turns out kansas is screwed. >> revenue down 680 million dollars over the prior year. that's a lot of money in kansas. >> that's a lot of money to anybody. >> the problem was, less taxes on the job creators didn't lead to jobs created. >> just because we got a tax cut didn't mean we need to hire more people. we put the money in the pocket. >> that's not how it's supposed to work. you get tax cuts and you use that to hire more people. >> why hire people you don't need? >> don't do this to me. don't do this to me, dude. >> i guess brownback hoped business owners like ross would get more creative with hiring practices. >> why would we need a tractor danceer on this farm? >> because it's fun. you have a driver, you have a dancer. that's two jobs for one tractor. >> with less money the state had to make a few tiny cuts in education. >> we experienced the largest cut in per pupil spending in
6:41 pm
kansas in the entire history of the state. they closed five school buildings in our district. class size going up. >> two biggest industries in kansas are farming and aerospace. you can learn that from your pappy. >> actually you can't. this is going to be the opposite of economic development for kansas. >> then the unthinkable happened. something that conservative state of kansas could never have imagine imagined. >> elected officials who think kansas is going in the wrong election. >> we're supporting the democrat for the governor's race in kansas. >> uh, i know this is sounding like you kind of misspoke. we're going to go back, do it again. who are you supporting in the upcoming election? >> republicans for kansas values supporting the democrat. >> okay. you did it again. just one more time, i know you're nervous, you're in the presence of a superstar. but just sort of relax a little
6:42 pm
bit. who are you supporting in the upcoming election? >> we're supporting the democrat. >> in fact, the once unbeatable brownback now trails in the polls. but don't worry, he has a solution. >> hit the accelerator on what we're doing. tax cuts take time. thinks going to work and we're going to stick with. >> solution to the failed utopia is more of it. >> leadership is being able to say i made a mistake. kansas is a great traditional moderate state. it's like we're not in kansas anymore. >> you're right. it's not kansas anymore. it was something much, much worse. >> come with me! let's go off to fix this. it will be -- what's the deal with -- oh, right. no transportation budget. get me [bleep] out of here. i'm going to take a cab. okay. >> thank you, jessica williams, everybody. we'll be right back. get in this picture, y'all! too many people! too bouncy!
6:43 pm
it's probably too far away! but with the note 4, you can always get the shot. check it out! eight times digital zoom catches every detail. woah! with optical image stabilization, you get it even in the unciest castles. woah! isn't that amazing? and a front-facing camera so wide, you can selfie with like eryone. do you think you could send that to me? you gotta give me your number though. ok... ok! haha, oooooh! the new samsung galaxy note4, with the best camera we've ever put on a smartphone. the next big thing is here. [ high-pitched ] nailed it! [ normal voice ] you're right, that was really easy. i know, i told you so. on, you can compare our progressive direct rates with our competitors' rates, so shopping is easy. you don't sound like flo. [high-pitched] yeah, i do. [ clears throat ] who you talking to? [ normal voice ] what? what's on your hand? noth-- my wedding ring. [chuckles] symbol of our love and understanding. comparing rates for you. now that's progressive. [ high-pitched ] nailed it!
6:44 pm
you can hook up the whole family for a $100 a month. get 4 lines with unlimited talk, text, and up to 10 gigabytes of 4g lte data. and now the next big thing is here.
6:45 pm
get the hottest device for everybody in the family for $0 down. you can switch today. to us, it means giving you a wide selection of products. the best advice. the best service. and an unbeatable price with our price match guarantee. expert service. unbeatable price. best buy. welcome back. my guest tonight, director of the equal justice initiative, professor at nyu law school, new book called just mercy, story of justice and redemption. welcome to the program, bryan stevenson. hello! thank you for joining us. [applause] how are you, sir? >> i'm well, thank you.
6:46 pm
>> jon: thank you for joining us. the book is called just mercy. tell me about the work you do, the foundation of this book. tell me about the variety of things that are going on. >> well, the book is about mass incarceration in america and the way we disconnected from so many realities, tells the story of a man who was wrongly convicted, put on death row. you think the system works one way but actually works a very different way. and i met this man who when i went to the prison, told me he was on death row for 15 months before the trial. i thought they didn't teach me that's the way it works. i got back to my office and judge named robert lee called and told me not to take the case. that's not the way it's supposed to work. i went to this community why african-americans telling me they were this man 11 miles away from the crime scene when the crime took place and he was still convicted and sentenced to death. the judge overrode it, imposed
6:47 pm
the death penalty. there's a disconnect. i think the book is an effort to expose people to that disconnect. we live in a country that talks about being the home of the brave and the land of the free and we have the highest incarceration rate in the world. and even just today in new york city, a gentleman convicted of murder at 16 years old, wrongly convicted, it is 30 years later, he's just getting out today. his friend who was convicted with him, died in prison. there's a 10-year-old boy now apparently charged as an adult for a murder. how are we as a collection allowing it to happen? >> well, i think we don't appreciate the obligation to be just in all circumstances. there is this diskebconnect. a narrative corrupted by fear and an earning. we changed in the last 40 years. in 1972, 300,000 people in prison. today there are 2.3 million. the disconnect is the problem.
6:48 pm
children, we're being dishonest when we say kids can't vote, can't drink, can't smoke but if they commit a crime, we can ignore their child status. that's who we ended up with 13 and 14-year-old children sentenced to die in prison. >> jon: it's almost not even a disconnect but it's purposeful. i can remember the politic of fear throughout the '70s and early '80s that we were under attack by, i remember they used to call them the super predators. >> that's right . >> jon: we had to protect ourselves from super predators and then the three strikes rule came in. all these other things that were instituted. >> it's a narrative introduced. you're right, criminologists talking about super predators, young boys and made predictions, eliminated minimum age for trying a child as an adult, 10-year-olds facing adult prison. made it easier to put kids in
6:49 pm
prison forever and passed mandatory sentences laws. we have people serving life sentences for writing a bad check or drug use, simple possession of marijuana and it's crazy. i think we haven't really been outraged enough. we have the highest rate of incarceration in the world and we're not ashamed of that. >> jon: not only not outraged. i feel like there's a defensiveness in the community. i had a gentleman on last night i don't think you would be familiar with, who is very adamant that race was not an issue in these. yet disproportionately, statistically it is. why can't we have that conversation and i wasn't trying to blame him. just merely and not very articulately, point out it was real. why is it so hard to get past that defensiveness and anger? >> well, we have never ever committed ourselves to a process of truth and reconciliation of our history. we didn't talk about the consequences of a myth that created slavery and because of that slavery didn't end, it
6:50 pm
evolved. we didn't think about what it meant to terrorize people between the end of reconstruction and world war ii. and then we had jim crowe and segregation and we dominated and hu humiliated people for decades without appreciating the harm done. now we're in a failure to talk about race continues to haunt us. pre-sum shops of dangerousness and, pre-sum shops of dangerousness to people of color, that's how he got convicted and sentenced to death. we're trapped by silence, it's hard. we have to change that. in germany, the holocaust, horrific history. but if you go there, you are required to confront that legacy. there are monuments and memorials and there are totems that make you have to deal with that. in this country we try to hide the history. manifests itself in tragic ways. there's this sense of well, we don't have slavery anymore, we don't have segregation, get over it. the gentleman i referred to from last night spoke of the it could
6:51 pm
codified segregation as though it was the middle ages, that was the 50s and '60s. >> i started my education in a colored school because schools were still racially segregated. the county where my father group didn't have a block high school, he had to leave. my grandmother the daughter of people who web enslaved. a black male baby more than in the 21 century, one in three is expected to go the jail or prison. that wasn't true in the 20th century or the 19th century. we created this environment that we have to confront more honestly. that's part of the challenge. talk more honestly about what's going on. >> jon: that's what we're going to show, if you can stick around, when we come back we'll talk about how this conversation takes place. i almost think we need instructions because it hasn't been taking place except among white people yelling at each other. just mercy will be on the book shelves tuesday, october 21, incredible story.
6:52 pm
bryan stevenson, thank you very bryan stevenson, thank you very much. a lifeline for so many people. it is more than a community. it is a family. there's always a hug. you're friends for life. when i needed guidance, and i needed support, living beyond breast cancer was there. last year, 5-hour energy raised over $340,000 for living beyond breast cancer. purchase this specially marked bottle now through december 31st, and a portion of the proceeds will help breast cancer survivors live beyond their diagnosis.
6:53 pm
it's the $6.99 pick your pairs deal at pizza hut. pick two medium pizzas and a total of four toppings for $6.99 each. want two toppings on one and two on the other? three and one? get it however you want, and on your favorite crusts! pan, thin 'n crispy, or hand tossed. just $6.99 a pizza. pizza hut. chevrolet is merging the physical freedom of the car, ♪ with the virtual freedom of wi-fi. ♪ chevrolet, the first and only car company to bring built-in 4g lte wi-fi to cars, trucks and crossovers. hi mom. you made it! it's the new independence. ♪ asons than ever why now is the best time to be on verizon. one: verizon's the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in the country. that's right america. with xlte in over 400 markets.
6:54 pm
two: and here's something for families to get excited about. our best ever pricing with double the data on select plans. and three: you can now get our best ever single line pricing starting at $45. so get all this now, on the network ranked #1 for data performance nationwide. verizon.
6:55 pm
6:56 pm
when we see you next week, we'll be in texas. hope to see you there. first, fellow wrote a book about being imprisoned in iran, called, and then they came for me. now the book rereleased, called rose water, it's an incredible book. it's coming out tuesday, october 21st. i'm not going the read it. i'm going to wait for the movie because i hear that's good too. but it's a beautiful piece of work. i hope you get a chance to look at it. at it. here it is, your moment of ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪
6:57 pm
♪ going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woe's behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ ♪ headed on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ ( mumbling ) ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ a small business'. nstant contact toolkit to.thate evolve with your business-month to month, year to year. so whether it's a social media campaign to connect with fans and customers... or an email newsletter to kick off a big sale... you'll get all the online tools and free marketing advice you need to meet your goals... no matter how much things change. help your small business do more business. try our toolkit-free-at go on a first date. my passion is puppetry. here? i think we're done here. hate drama? go to research, price, find.
6:58 pm
only helps you get the right car without all the drama.


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on