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tv   At Midnight  Comedy Central  January 8, 2015 11:31pm-12:02am PST

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s, electrolytes, and b vitamins plus more vitamin c than ten oranges. emergen-c transforms more than just water. emergen-c. let your awesome out. >> jon: that's our show! here it is, your moment of zen. >> one last thing david cameron said over the weekend that the president calls him broke. is that true? is that any other pet names he has for world leaders. >> to paraphrase a local baseb -- . >> it's 1212:29 and 29 seconds thx happened on instagram. jeb brother of george bush may be running for president on 2016. he will already paving the way. he just joined instagram i
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wonder what he will get up to ton the gram, heav leigh filtered picks of his sunday fun-day brunch, will he use the phrase on fleek, who knows. we do know he just dropped a hot new individual that for sure will go viral. take a look. >> hey, everybody today we're setting up the right to ride pac which is aipac to support condition datas that believe in conservative principless. >> i don't know seems kind of boring hey activate the spanish filter. >> -- the right to ride pac. (speaking spanish). >> well, that is sure to be a hit with the ninos. so comedians, leave jeb a comment as a spanish speaking millennial on instagram go. >> (speaking spanish).
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>> speaking spanish). >> (speaking spanish). >> well played. time to start 11:30 @midnight. welcome to @midnight. i'm chris hardwick. who measured [bleep] by the foot? this guy. well today is tag team thursday playing for tlae lucky followers of the twitter account. they and their partners will batt be winners. tonight's comedians are performing at largo january 15th sarah silverman.
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>> who are you playing for? >> i'm playing for dylanjane. >> all right good well done maybe. from company dean bang bang season four premiers friday scott aukerman. >> america and canada. who are you playinging for. >> for bbamok. >> good just out there tearing things [bleep] up. >> performing at the baked potato studio city on january 13th steve agee. all right who are you playing for sm. >> i'm playing for my good friend taffrpicking. >> okay, good, you put on a suit for her. >> we're actually going
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taffrapicking after the show. >> let's start the program ripped from internethead lines it's rapid refresh. all right. clean out your filthy ear holes it's time for an audio quiz. >> audio quiz. >> we spent a lot of money on the set. >> that was bb, she's in legal. we found this clip at the top of reddit's r video. i'm only going to play the soundment you have to guess what this is. ready set. >> okay. is that the sound of a a canadian robot that can emulate sounds of a polite riot? b a pretentious 90 minute
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pod cast called crowd source. c every episode of friends season one playing simultaneously aka maximum caucasian. >> steve. >> every episode of the friends show season one playing simultaneous-- c. >> yes. could it be any more of a c? there it is. that's all you need. now this was inevitable since netflix recently started streaming the entire series on january 1st. now an entire generation of goddamn millennials can see the wildly changing hair styles 90 shoulder panneds and the rembrandt. so comedians using friends the one wear title, what with you name this megaepisode sarah silverman? >> the one where it's probably pretty strong you should only take half.
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>> points. >> scott aukerman. >> the one that was funny when you were 13 but doesn't really hold up when you are an adult. >> oh my gosh. >> yeah! >> take that friends. >> take that. rich billionaires. >> moving on. >> according to a start-up company has a new form of technology that will change the way americans america, what is this amazing new discovery a a circumstances usb port with an alarm that sounds when you reach your daily caloric intake. a belt that automatically loosens as you get fatter. c a meth ann detector to tell when you follow through on a fart. >> scott aukerman. >> i think it's something that very few of us on this panel would need b. >> a belt that automatically loosens. >> the correct answer is in fact b. looserns when you have eaten too much.
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it frees up your hands for more eating. the belt also supposedly tightens as you loose weight a functionality that is as yet untested in the united states. what is another form of clothing technology you would like to see in your lifetime sarah silverman? >> jeans that make my wife's ass not look fat right? >> points. >> how is that old bag anyway huh huh? >> that reminded me i keep meaning to every year i have the same resolution i forgot-- forget. i want to say this more every year. sounds like my ex-wife. >> you have to do that more often. >> yeah. >> steve. >> -- skidding underwear. >> can you please explain the mechanics behind how that with work. >> you know how when may
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underwear have skid marks on it, chris? >> no i would assume yeah. >> this would get rid of them. >> and how would it do that scientifically. >> he doesn't know about-- wash. >> that's the end of rapid refresh. now time for the #wars. the golden globe are sunday the front run ares are smarty pants like the theory of egg the imitation of everything and probably not bacon 3 in honor of the intellectual obsession the hashtag is makeamoviesmarter. examples, oh finally something for me. >> examples my might be the
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mba graduate smart and smarter or paul blart mall architect it. 60 seconds and go. >> sumo come loud and incredibly clous. >> scott aukerman. >> book story. >> yes. >> like toy store's. >> but with book. >> points yes sense marley and i. oh. steve. >> young frank-einstein. >> nice. >> 24 minus 12 years a slave. >> points. >> i didn't know if 24 minus 12 is really that smart. maybe private ryan 15% on car insurance by switching to guy go.
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-- gei co. >> scientific explanation on 34th street. >> yes points. earnest goes to harvard. >> oh my god i wish that had gotten made. that's the end of the #wars, send your #and tag them @midnight to keep game going. we'll be back with more @midnight. congratulations to our tweet of the day well played.
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starts at $9.99, only at applebee's. >> welcome back to @midnight. it's time to play sweet emoji. sweet emoji. it's the game as simple as an eggplant and fun as a
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pair of dances twins we will show you a series of emoji and you translate them for us. this is the first one. >> yes. >> i have an idea let's blind a machine key. -- a monkey. >> sarah. >> great news i'm looking at your prostate exam results and i see no evil. >> nice. >> every man likes to hear that. >> next one. >> -- how about there. >> i'm excited for whatever are you going to say, steve. >> a family that cysts-- cysts together sales together. >> points. >> next? >> i sell hall use they
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genics at the home depot in kasperway wye. >> points. >> how about this message from the new hip ster emoji. >> scott. >> my bad got drunk and [bleep] jeremy remmer. >> sarah. >> i can't spell i drink [bleep] beer and i hunt. >> yes points. so wait a minute that would make you ted nudge ept. >> steve? >> my name is stupid and i'm an alcoholic. >> points. >> what about these sexy something something from the new flirt mogi app.
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>> scott. >> had a greet weekend and brian singer's house. >> points. >> that's the send of time for our next game weird endie games. if your kids are into video games but you don't want to support big console on-line indyi games can be-- guess what kind we're going to be watching. 250 points you have to tell me which one is real. first one fits of jesus, superpower jesus decapitates xom piece or congressional death-- barack obama use a chain gun to destroy robot republicans steve. come on, when in doubt
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fits of jesus. >> wow. >> there is no salvation for you. >> tattoo assassin where tattoo people battle with each other with their tattoos or supreme court fighter two turbo, all the toughest justices battle out for precedence. >> supreme court fighter two turbo. >> while i enjoy your read, the correct answer was tattoo assassin. >> that was pretty rad. i got to say. >> amea-- in every commercial that will happen during this show.
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>> somebody got her panties in a bunch. >> try to relax, who says that all the time sarah? >> sounds look my ex-wife. >> there you go. >> that's the end of weird indie games it's time for our live challenge. barely legal. barely legal. >> it's not going to be the kind of you want to see. for a lawyer it's important to give off an air of professionalism and sophistication. on the other hand you could take a tip from michael a fuimara who made this video advertising his legal cervixs. >> did i please actually know what you have been charged with? >> it is so big. >> okay. >> can you give me some facts. >> roses are red violets are blue, take off your clothes so i can go down on you.
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>> i have to ask you to enthis conversation. >> comedians your challenge is going to be to outcrazy this guy and come up with more inappropriate pitch for your legal services we'll get your answers after the break and be back with more @midnight.
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>> welcome book to @midnight. before the break i showed you a youtube video for a law office where the lawyer talked to a sex doll and i challenged for an even more bonkers pitch. >> if i don't win your case you can sleep with my wife please note she has been dead for five years. >> duly noted. sarah silverman. >> i will kill you and then kill myself to get you out of your traffic ticket. >> all right. steve. >> i swear to god if i don't get your charges dropped i will have two ribs removed and blow myself. i love you call me. >> thousand points to steve, 500 to sarah 250 to scott. our next game buzzfeed.
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buzzfeed. bus feed is full of riddick list lists like 22 dar toon dads who are most definitely definitely-- and a-- without doesn't give a [bleep] you're hung over. some up with buzzfeed lists that are more ridiculous than the ones on buzzfeed. 50 seconds begin. >> 87 bars that allow to you breast-feed your dog. >> 26 letters you simply must arrange into words. >> points. >> sarah. >> 12 obscure star wars characters that are maybe paul giamatti. >> scott. >> five quotes from shrek you can use at your next parole hearing. >> steve. >> 20 tips that don't match.
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>> scott. >> two people that got divorced because you were born. >> points. >> sarah. >> two koreas. >> scott. >> 250 reasons why christie allie should have a stylist. >> that sounds like sarah -- >> something my ex-wife. >> sarah. >> eight lindsays that were a real bitch at dinner last night opinions that is the end of buzzfeed. and i mean sarah, you are in third place but you are one of my favorite people and coy if the dream of it eliminate ug. will you please come to the final round. (applause)
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that means its time to dress less and dress right. it's for the win. >> now it's been prb leigh about a year since, i know are you keeping track since we brought you the might of the man with two penises apparent leigh he has been busy and not just from the marriage proposals of women with two vaginas. no, he has written a book. why does he have a neck pillow. >> that is not a neck pillow he has two penises, it sen tight willed doubleheader my life with two penises by diphallic dude. i would like to write the opening loon of this book. we will have our comedian's answers and name a winner when we come back on t.ght.check out all these airline
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>> welcome back to @midnight. it's time for for the win. i'm going to wipe your scores clean. wipe, wipe, wipe wipe. i will read your answer as loud. and you will decide the winner. the audience, will you also playing for your tag team partner at home. before the break i showed you the auto erotic biography doubleheader my life with two penis sess,s and asked you to write the opening line. >> i'm some of more than a guy with 2-d cks i've also got four balls. >> all right. >> or call me weird ishmael. >> very clever. >> i believe that was from the book moby dick. or i got 2-d icks, well i
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guess that's the end of my book. >> number three is the win. who is number three? >> steve agee! you and@taffrapicking are both winners. ee you monday with mar maron jen kirkman and john hodgman. go to twitter to keep the game going. bye-bye [rock music] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
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