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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  October 27, 2015 1:33am-2:06am PDT

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♪ make make it ri-i-iight ♪ ♪ 'cause jesus wants me to have a clean slate ♪ ♪ not fakin' it i'm makin' it right ♪ ♪ payin' for my sins and it sure feels great ♪ ♪ make, make it right make, make it right ♪ from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show " with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah! our guests tonight, msnbc host rachel maddow will be joining us today! (cheers and applause) yep! but first, let's talk about prison.
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(laughter) the big house. america's second worst place to stay after red roof inn. (laughter) this month, two unlikely groups came together to change that >> a criminal committee on criminal justice reform with bipartisan support >> neither republican nor democrat or liberal or conservative. this is an american issue >> trevor: criminal justice is an issue everyone can come together on not like the divisive like healthcare. it's about time people pay attention because it's getting out of hand. >> the united states is home to just 5% of all the people on earth. but it counts for more than a quarter of the world's prison population. is that yeah.
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wow. a quarter of the world's prison population. america really loves prison. no, no, going to jail is such a big part of american culture that you even have it included in your board games. (laughter) you don't understand -- (applause) -- how weird that is for me. there is no game in africa where part of the fun is going to jail for doing nothing wrong! nobody's sitting around, like, yea! you know what this game needs? incarceration! (applause) so what exactly does this groundbreaking bipartisan reform do? >> reducing the life in prison penalty federal three strikes rules, minimum for nonviolent offenders. >> would allow for education and jobs programs inside of prison.
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>> trevor: more jobs inside prison! yea! yea! i hope i get to hang out in the library because then i get to hang out with tasty! hey! hey! hey! (applause) now, apart from mas incarceration and public policing, there's a financial burden. up ward of $200 billion a year in taxpayer costs, and the truth is we're not just locking up people, we're locking up potential. >> months after winning a national title harvard's debate team lost to a group of new york inmates. >> trevor: ooh! harvard... first, you got shown up by a lonely janitor -- (laughter) -- and now your debate team loses to a bunch of prisoners? how do you like them apples! (applause) the inmate debate team was
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pardon to have the bard prison initiative. only 2.5% went back to prison because many released prisoners want to get jobs and get back to living their lives. the way things are now, there are just 44,000 little problems. >> the american bar association identified 44,000 collateral consequences for people who come out of prison. they can't get jobs, they can't get business licenses, they can't get loans or programs, they can't get public housing, food stamps, votes, serve on jury -- >> trevor: yeah you did the crime, you did the time, and now you're free to live your life -- as long as that life doesn't include work, shelter or food. terms and conditions apply. (laughter) so there's still work to be done, but thankfully our politicians aren't the only ones doing our parts. hasan minhaj has a special report. >> a special check box on job applications warned us any time a convicted criminal tried to get a job and it's worked.
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as many as 95 of the checked applications end up right in the trash, keeping criminals unemployed and on the streets where they can't cause any trouble. but now a dangerous movement wants to change that. >> another city banning the box on job applications leading the door wide open to hire criminals. >> that's right. ban the box supporters like glen martin want the box to disappear so they can put convicts in your workplace. >> why do you want american business owners to die? >> you wouldn't be the first person to ask me that but the truth is i want to strengthen america. i want to get more americans to work. >> what you're advocating is at rages as mcdonald's hiring the hamburg lar to come work at mcdonald's. do you understand? >> i would argue th the hamburgr has a right to work like anyone else. >> many jort leader john branum.
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it's another handcuff on an employer. an employer wants to know about your criminal history. >> if nine one should have handcuffs on them, put them on the criminals. >> well, of course. finally snrks one who gets it. without the box, employers will end up with a lot of criminals. >> i don't think the employers will end up with a lot of criminals. >> what do you mean? the law does not stop you from doing a background check after the first interview. >> a what? the minute you walk out of the first interview, i can do a criminal background check on you and i'm going to do that. >> oh, okay. sure. seems reasonable. but what good is a background check after the first interview, if you're already dead? i'm at labor attorney darrell atkinson to find a way to protect businesses from america's most terrifying criminals. >> hasan, the hamburglar is not real, he's not an employee at mcdonald's. from my understanding, the
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hamburglar is merely a fictional character in the story universe. but if any applicant showed up wearing a fedora, a striped uniform saying, robber, robber! the employer would be completely justified in not hiring them -- >> because they're criminals. no. because they are not qualified and may be crazy. >> darrell, i like living a life of fear and being afraid of criminals and staying away from them. >> well, you know that i was convicted of a crime, right? in 1996, i was convicted of a non-violent drug crime. i went to prison, got out, got my law degree, was honored by the president -- >> holy (bleep)! i interviewed a guy who had been to prison and i didn't know it! why should we trust these people? >> people changenned they get older and decide to do something
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different. i'm sure there were things you did when you were younger you no longer do. >> a tree was outside my window when i was in 8th grade abat night the moon would cast a shadow on my wall and it kind of looked like a woman...and i would -- (laughter) -- and i would jerk off to that shadow. >> well, i think we all do things when we're young we wouldn't do when we're adults. >> thanthank you, because i dont shadow jerk anymore. >> and you shouldent have to live wit for the rest of your life. with criminal records, we're trying to leave it in the past so the employer can get a chance to see them how they are now. one in three americans have had involvement in the criminal justice system. >> that's (bleep) terrifying. you know i served six years in prison. >> again? i need to stop businesses from
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putting these people to work. places like dave's killer bread, probably called that because 30% of their workforce has a criminal record. president john tucker: before i sit down, have you been convicted of a crime? >> i have not. good. i have been (bleep) all day and i can't be around dishonesty. john, i have to say this, you are very stupid. your business must be plummeting now. >> we're the number one organic sliced bread in history. >> if you come in here like mother theresa these guys will shank you in your sleep! >> let me share you a story about a guy who works at dave's killer bread. he read about us when he was still incarcerated. that was more six years ago and today he's our plant manager. >> there is no way this magical poster unicorn is real. >> he's right here. okay, what (bleep)! they're everywhere! why are these people so obsessed with getting jobs! >> the job that's allowed me to
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be successful, it's allowed me to remain a free man. i've gotten married, i've bought a home, i've reestablished relationships with my family. without a job, none of that would be possible. >> if that all you're saying is true, i'm a total asshole. >> that's very clear. en it dawned on me, i have been interviewing people with criminal records all day and didn't get stabbed once. it's like my brain told my heart they deserve a second chance. >> that's how people change, right? they end up meeting the very people they have a bunch of assumptions about and they say, oh, that doesn't fit what i thought. >> so maybe -- maybe we can forgive and forget. >> well, maybe not forget. you can take the criminal record into account, but give people an opportunity. we wouldn't want to walk into a room and have everyone hide the lotion, right? >> (bleep). for the record, that shadow was super hot.
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>> trevor: hasan minhaj, everyone! we'll be right back! it's back t-mobile's most popular family plan. get 4 lines with up to 10 gigs of 4g lte data, each. no sharing just $30 bucks a line need new phones for the family? get the samsung galaxy s6 for zero upfront, and just ten bucks a month. plus, get a samsung 4g lte tablet on us when you get a new data plan only from t-mobile.
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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." a little update for you now on
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presidential candidate ben carson. as we discussed yesterday, if you've been recently murdered in mass shooting, carson has some constructive criticism for you. >> i would not just stand there and let them shoot me. i would say, hey, guys, everybody attack them. he may shoot me but he can't get us all. >> take action. (laughter) >> trevor: that's right (laughter) hey, guys, show of hands who, 's in for rushing the gunman. one, two, three -- gunman, hold on, i'm counting the people -- four -- susan, is that a hand? put it up or down, susan. i need clarity, please. now, a lot of people -- what does people know about confronting a gunman? well, as it turns out, plenty. >> have you ever been in the face of danger? >> i've had a gun held on me when i was in a popeyes organization. (laughter)
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>> trevor: not a popeyes restaurant, mind you. a popeyes organization. (laughter) in case you've never heard of it, popeyes is a little known charity that gives out fried chicken in exchange for money. learn how you can help at popeyesgivesback.org. anyway, continue your story, mr. carson. >> a guy comes in, puts a gun in my ribs, and i just said, i believe that you want the guy behind the counter. he said, oh, okay. >> you said, no, i'm not the one you want? and they followed? >> they did. (laughter) >> trevor: yeah. so ben comes into a popeyes chicken, a guy pulls a gun and ben carson says, don't shoot me, shoot the guy behind the counter. (laughter) now, this puts a perspective on mass shootings in a whole new light. he says he would try to get
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everyone to rush the gunman, but i have a feeling it would be more like, hey, guys, everybody attack him. (laughter) (applause) now, thankfully, "the daily show" managed to get surveillance footage of the incident, courtesy of the popeyes organization. take a look. >> hearings man, this is a stick up! >> i believe that you want the guy behind the counter. >> oh, god! he's got a gun! (gunshots) help! you! the one eating the chicken! oh, no! (screaming) >> now's the time for someone to be a hero! anyone! >> trevor: y ah, don't judge him, what's the guy going to do? let the chicken get cold?
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come on! while carson's remarks landed him into hot water -- (laughter) -- he still has a major supporter also in hot water. >> this morning tycoon rupert murdoch is under fire for tweets -- >> trevor: ooh! tweets! (laughter) rupert -- can i call you rupert? look, man, i know what it's like to be young and crazy on twitter. you start to crave those faves and you don't care how you get them. but once you're older and wiser, you hopefully stop making mistakes like this. >> this was a late-night tweet about dr. ben carson and it has ignited a full-blown twitter firestorm. ben and candy carson, terrific. what about a real black president who can properly address the racial divide and much else? >> trevor: now, no, guys, let's be fair. it was late at night. maybe he suffers from insomnia
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and the only thing that cures it is vaguely racist tweeting. maybe he was in bed like, well, i've counted backwards from 100, sipped warm milk, here goes nothing -- why do bolivians smell like soup?" this is eye opening. this whole time conservatives have been accused of disliking obama because he's too black. now the problem is he isn't black enough, well, at least according to my (bleep) rupert murdoch. (audience reacts) i really hope this makes an upcoming standup special. that would be fun to see. "have you ever noticed some black presidents veto bills like this, but real black presidents veto bills like this? crikey digeridoo, the fellows
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[ scanner beeping ] sir, could you step aside? "sir"? come on. you know who i am. progressive insurance? uh, i save people an average of over $500 when they switch? did you pack your own bags? oh! right -- the name your price tool. it shows people policy options to help fit their budget. [ scanner warbling ] crazy that a big shot like me would pack his own bags, right? [ chuckles ] so, do i have the right to remain handsome? [ chuckles ] wait. uh-oh.
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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back! my guest tonight is the host of msnbc "the rachel maddow show." please welcome rachel maddow! (cheers and applause) ♪ i didn't know if i could come in for the hug there! it was a little moment there. >> trevor: but it was a hug. from here on out, it's a hug. >> trevor: you hugged back. we can see if we can have our first fight and see how it goes the next time. >> trevor: glad to have you. glad to be here. >> trevor: i that you were ragging on kevin mccarthy the whole week saying he couldn't string a sentence together and now he's dropped out of the race for house speaker (applause) >> i don't know if it was me.
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it's a hard thing to take credit for. he was a weird choice because -- (laughter) so it hasn't been since, like, 1891 that anybody with that little experience in congress was going to be speaker. he's passed two bills the whole time he's been in the congress, one renamed a post office for the country singer buck owens. i love me some buck owens -- but the other bill also renamed another thing. that's it, never run a committee, nothing. and he does have a problem with talking. >> trevor: i think you did a lot. a week of that, the man is gone. when are you going to start talking about assad? that's what i'm wondering about. >> or putin or -- >> trevor: let's talk about the rache rachel maddow forum. does it have a name? >> it's not the rachel maddow forum.
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nobody would come. (laughter) so the democrats are only doing six debates this year. >> trevor: yes. he republicans are doing 12-ish. but democrats haven't started yet, they're only doing six. a lot of people want the democrats to do more. the democratic party says, no, we're not going to do more, but they added this forum in south carolina between the first two debates on november 6, and hillary clinton, bernie sanders, martin o'malley will be there, and it's a forum. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, you stopped counting. who else? >> that's all i know. those are the only ones who said yes. >> trevor: so the others aren't coming? who else? the other guy. >> yeah, the other guy. >> trevor: and then the other guy. >> and then the short guy. >> trevor: and then the short guy. >> yeah. (laughter) >> trevor: people are polling at 0.0 -- they just need one person and changes their polls? >> even on the republican side sometimes there is polls that come in with a lot of respondents.
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literally zero people want lindsey graham to be president in some of these polls. you have to feel bad for them but that's happening a lot on the democratic side. >> trevor: let's talk about bernie sanders. everyone is looking at hillary clinton. everyone thinks this is her race to lose. what do you think bernie sanders has to do to win it? >> i think it would be an uphill battle but anything is possible. i think he will win new hampshire. no matter how unlikely something looks, once you get a first win, if you are the underdog and you win something you're not expected to win, it can change all the other dynamics. let's see she wins iowa, he wins new hampshire, everybody is so shocked he wins new hampshire it could reorder things. >> trevor: i want to know one thing from you, if you had to vote for run of the republican candidates -- >> oh... >> trevor: if you had to
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vote -- (cheers and applause) if you had to vote -- if someone held a gun to your head because ben carson said, point it that way, who would you vote for? you had to vote for one of the 12. >> one of the one running? >> trevor: no, one of the main 12 on the debate stage. >> the main 12? >> trevor: yeah. who would bit? >> ahhh! i'm having back pain! i think -- i don't know. i honestly don't know. can i modify it? if i were a republican and i wanted to pick the best candidate for the general election, the person i would have best chance against hillary clinton, i think -- that would still be hard. (laughter) i think it might be john kasich, i don't know. >> trevor: there you have it! rachel maddow is voting for john kasich!
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rachel maddow, everyone! (cheers and applause)
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for a sophisticated taste, say bonjour to the simple life. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (cheers and applause) >> trevor: that's our show! here it is -- here it is... your moment of zen.
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>> the question of the moment, is president obama the real black president? >> he's president and black. so he's a real black president? >> again, we're dealing with >> larry: tonightly, joe biden is not running for president. and in other news it, hillary clinton just walked into a vegas coos screaming,"look out, boys! mama's feeling lucky." c.i.a. director john brennan has his certainly e-mail hacked. in a statement released today he said, "sure, it's embarrassing but it will all be worth it when that supposed nigerian prince pays me back. of and today's the exact day marty mcfly travels to in the movie "back to the future ii." ( cheers and aus

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