tv The Daily Show Comedy Central October 29, 2015 6:24pm-6:57pm PDT
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, the moderator for the next republican presidential debate from cnbc, john harwood is joining us tonight, ladies and gentlemen! ( cheers and applause ) but right now, we're not talking about politics. we're talking about benghazi. the big hillary clinton hearing in congress, which has nothing to do with politics. this was about getting the truth and finding clear facts. >> i think-- >> just wait. >> i'm waiting on the accurate statement. >> i'm getting-- >> right now, the only one you've asked for is sidney blumenthal. >> you need to make sure the entire record is correct.
>> and that's exactly what i want to do. >> then go ahead. >> i'm going to tell you-- ( laughter ) >> trevor: so clear. so concise. it all makes sense now. and throughout the day, hillary was right in the thick of it. ( laughter ) i've been there, hillary. that feeling when baycalls a benghazi committee for the eighth time. but right now, i'm getting ahead ofinize mize. i should step back and explain. for those who don't know what this is about, today hillary clinton testified in congress for nearly 10 hours about benghazi. that's like a whole season of television that the house select committee just dropped on us like they were netflix or something. ( laughter ) and i watched all of it, because i don't just benghazi. i binge-ghazi. ( laughter ) but in case you haven't gotten into benghazi yet, let me catch you up on the night of september 11, 2012. libyan extremists attacked an american compound and annex in benghazi, libya. the attack killed the u.s. ambassador and three other americans so to find out what happened that night congress
very reasonably sets up a committee investigation. and then they set up another investigation. and another one. and then also four more. ( laughter ) i'm just saying, maybe you should wonder if you're overdoing it when you have more sequels than "fast and furious." and as the investigations went on, it felt like republicans started to shift their question from was anyone to blame to, more specifically, was hillary to blame? and then finally, just how can we blame this on hillary? ( laughter ) >> when hillary clinton was asked for more security, she turned the ambassador down. >> i would call it a cover-up. >> madam secretary, you let the consulate become a death trap. >> hillary clinton got away with murder, in my view. >> trevor: oh! and her name anagrams to lynch a trillion. ( laughter ) would someone who isn't a murderer have a name like that? ( laughter ) now, the investigations did
upcover several mistakes by clinton and other officials that could have prevented the attacks, but none of them found that she did anything criminal or even sinister. so with seven benghazi committees come and gone, there was it only one step the g.o.p. could take. >> the house of representatives today moved to form a special committee to investigate. >> congressman trey gowdy is officially chosen to lead this investigation. ( laughter ). >> trevor: yeah! trey gowdy! the congressman who will get to the bottom of this, once and for all. and you know what? i like this guy. he looks like someone put anderson cooper's face under a heavy book overnight. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so, with seven committees going nowhere, maybe the eighth time is a charm. of course, there have been questions about what the true purpose of so many seemingly redundant investigations could be. and lately, we've heard some clues coming from the republicans themselves. >> i think that there is a big
part of this investigation that was designed to go after people, an individual, hillary clinton. >> we put together a benghazi special committee, a select committee. what are her numbers today? her numbers are dropping. >> trevor: aaah! mccarthy. you just admitted to convening the committee to hurt hillary clinton. classic supervillain mistake. ( laughter ) you have to to wait until your enemy's dead before you reveal the plot. ( cheers and applause ) they're like, "yes, hillary. now that i have you strapped to the benghazi laser of doom, i'm going to tell you-- wait! she's escaping! she's escaping." now mccarthy's err of error didn't just hurt the committee's credibility. it also affected trey gowdy, the guy who looks like a baby possum on picture day at school. >> i have told my own republican
colleagues and friends, shut up talking about things that you don't know anything about. >> a republican in charge of benghazi committee, representative trey gowdy, is casting himself as a victim whose reputation has been unfairly besmirched. these have been among the worst weeks of my life. stating that quote. "attacks on your character, attacks on your motive are 1,000 times worse than anything you can do to anybody physically." >> trevor: oh, man. gowdy. that must be horrible, having your character and motives constantly attacked. but, hey, man, if you need to talk, i know someone hocan empathize. ( laughter ) so now we're all caught up. benghazi, endless hearings, plot against hillary, football with human makeup on, and that brings us to today's hearing. hillary clinton marched into the lion's den ready to avenge herself. look how friendly she is with the press. you know you have been to 2 a lot of benghazi hearings when you know all the photographers
by name. "hey, tom, i loved your shots from last time. and great choice on the filter. it looked great." here's the thing about the hearing-- it was almost more of a debate about why they were having a hearing than it was a hearing itself. >> even after an accountability review board and a half dozen congressional investigations, these and other questions still linger. >> it is time, and it is time now for the republicans to end this taxpayer-funded fishing expedition. >> we have learned nothing. >> trevor: "we have learned nothing." i said the same thing to my fourth grade math teacher. ( laughter ) she was a scarecrow. south africa is weird. ( laughter ) but while hillary clinton had to endure repetitive questions and endless bickering, it wasn't a total waste of her time. >> madam secretary, you're welcome to answer the question if you'd like to. >> well, i wrote a whole chapter about this in my book "hard choices."
i'd be glad to send it to you, congressman." >> audience: oooh! ( cheers ) that it-- that is gangster. hillary's promoting her book in the middle of a hearing. that could end her political career-- "hard choices," now available in paperback. ( laughter ) so now it's been eight congressional committees holding 13 public hearings, spending around $20 million taxpayer dollars. and if that wasn't enough-- and this is a real thing-- michael bay has even made a movie about benghazi. >> we are over-run. >> it's under attack. go, man, it's under attack. >> let's go! we've got to move. >> the u.s. ambassador, you're not the first responders. you're the last resort. >> trevor: bravo, congress.
you're the only institution that can spend more money on something with no plot than it michael bay. actually, i take that back. michael bay has hits. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) we wanna see if you know what is in it. strawberry? mango? i kind of taste carrot. let me show you what you are drinking. hahahah, wow. what if i told you there was four different vegetables in there too? it's still good! introducing, tropical green from tropicana farm stand! obviously healthy. surprisingly good. (we are so excited to hear youre mergbig ideasableworld, on how we're going to take on directv. so over to you. (newhart) thank you. full disclosure. we forgot to come up with ideas. (cw exec) yeah, we got messed up last night. you're lucky we're even here. (newhart) but, we did bring breakfast. (jmh) bagels? (newhart) nope.
(woman) oh my goodness. (newhart) peel and eat shrimp. (cole) not how i would have gone but it's good, it's innovative. and that's what we want here. (vo) get rid of cable and switch to directv. call 1-800-directv. one blood mary served at a perfect 98.6 degrees. some drinks are hardly refreshing. naw dowg, i'm good. this party is dead. i love it. redd's wicked apple and new black cherry. refreshingly hard. with pizza hut's $6.99 any deal, i can get a meat lover's and they can get all the fresh vegetables they want. no more compromise. bring home the flavor with america's no compromise pizza deal. get any two medium pizzas with any quality toppings, any crust, any specialty, just $6.99 each. only at pizza hut.
loved comic book superheroes. my favorite was captain africa. ( laughter ) no, come on, guys. i mean, the real captain africa. yeah. ( cheers and applause ) that's the one. his superpowers were hope, forgiveness, and laser vision. i still can't believe he only used his laser vision to make grilled cheese sandwiches. what a waste. with their rising profile now comic books and other fantasy stories are being taken more seriously and becoming political issues. earlier this week we addressed this with "star wars," and comics recently this hir own political moment. >> this morning jeb bush's response to his favorite superhero has the internet abuzz. >> who is your favorite superhero. that's the second time i was asked that question. what's up with this. i like watching the movies. i wish i owned marvel. >> trevor: so, wait, watching superhero movies makes you dream of owning a business?
( laughter ) not flying or shooting lightning. no, no, no. most people have an inner child. jeb bush, jeb has an inner accountant. "well, if i had one superpower it would be a robust investment portfolio." ( laughter ) come on, dude. everyone upons if someone asks you what your favorite superhero is, there's only one safe answer. >> i saw that there's a supergirl is on tv. i saw that it when i was working out this morning. there's an ad promoting supergirl. she looked kind of-- she looked pretty hot. ( laughter ). >> trevor: jeb, jeb's creeping on the kryptonian. jeb, just to let you know, everyone, and everyone out there, "supergirl" premieres next week at 8:30 on cbs, and based on jeb's excitement i suggest no one shake his hand after 9:00 p.m.
because his hands will be sweating from the joy. you guys are disgusting. oh, wait, actually, jeb bush. i thought of another easy patriotic answer to the superhero question. you should have just said captain america. yeah. although now they think about it, even he's not entirely without controversy. >> sam wilson, formerly the falcon, he's taking over as captain america now but he's got a new it odd enemy. instead of going against hydra and the typical captain america villains he's going up against conservatives. that's his new enemy. ( laughter ). >> trevor: you can't blame captain america for looking for a challenge. defeating the red skull is one thing. but fighting ben carson. that's a challenge. "oh, captain, i believe you want to punch the guy behind the counter." ( applause ) ( laughter )
what fox means to say is in the latest issue of "captain america" the captain battles the supreme serpent, a racist cult leader terrorizing illegal immigrants. who would defend that guy. >> the serpent is an american whos has misgivings about illegal immigration and the costs associated with it. >> keep politics out of comic books. >> what about back in the day when captain america used to be punching hitler in the face? >> trevor: yeah! why can't we-- why can't we go back to when captain america was fighting nazis, before we got politics involved? ( laughter ) you know captain america was punching hitler because of his fascist policies, right? he wasn't just rolling around europe planting his fist in every mustache heap didn't like. "take that, hipster." comic books have always taken a political stand but comic books aren't real. it's ultimately about escapism and fant itacy. we can't fly like superman and jeb bush will never have a
chance to be rejected by supergirl. look, i understand some conservatives may not be impressed by the new captain america. he's a black man, stepping into a position historically held by a white man. his politics are liberal, and he supports immigration. but it's just fantasy, people. ( laughter ) that would never happen in real life. ( cheers and applause ) and if it ever feels like we can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, fox and friends just remind yourselves, yes, we can. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) lowe's presents "how to be good at math." how much money do you think we saved today? a lot. now get 10% off major appliances, $396 and more. ♪ hey, did you order the brownie? shhh. a little extra to keep your mouth shut. ohhh. kids! grandma's famous brownies.
homemade flavor delivered. get our genuine hershey's triple chocolate brownie just $5.99. only at pizza hut we are a marketing research company so i need to collect your phones so you can't post pictures. [screams] okay, how does it feel to not be connected? my chest hurts. well let me give you your phones back. [laughing] let me show you a better way to keep connected. the 2016 chevy cruze offers built in 4g lte wi-fi ® that connects up to seven devices. so this thing puts out its own signal? yes. what? this is next level chevy.
around the world, around the clock. in defense of all we hold dear back home. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the chief washington correspondent for cnbc. his show also for cnbc is called "speak easy with john harwood." please welcome john harwood. ( cheers and applause )
>> trevor, i first want to tell you that i was actually in your home town before you were. >> trevor: you were in my home town before i was? >> yes. but i had permission. the the administration board said i could go. that's my pass. >> trevor: oh, wow. this is insane. this is a permit from south africa's good old days. ( laughter ). >> and i-- and i had such a good time, that i brought back this. >> trevor: oh, look at that. that's cool. "i love soweto." that's very nice. >> both of these things have been on my bulletin board since i came back. i went several times during the 1980s during the unrest as a reminder of a place and a time where the politics are for really high stakes. like our politics, they're significant, they're important, but there was life-or-death stuff i was covering there. as a matter of fact, i-- i interviewed the treasury secretary from time to time. i interviewed the finance
minister of south africa, except at that time trevor manuel was under cover because he was a banned person. >> trevor: he was not permitted to be in public. >> trevor: everyone was a banned person back then. it's pretty much how the country worked. >> exactly. >> trevor: it was like a country of bad boys. you just kept this and one day i will meet a south african in america. ( laughter ) ( applause ) and i will hand them to him. >> i also have a rubber bullet in my desk. >> trevor: that's nice. i have a rubber bullet in my chest, actually. thank you so much, john. welcome, welcome to the show. i'm truly excited. i've always wanted to meet someone hois going to moderate a debate. this is something i've always wanted to do, and you know a lot of these candidates. you've been-- you've been hosting the "speak easy" show, right? >> i have been doing interviews. it's actually a great way of debate prep because all year long, for nine months, i've been interviewing candidates. i've got an unbelievably
talented young team of producers. they're in the audience here. mary, sophie, brandon, keene, erica. you have extended conversations. you can cover personal issues. you can cover policy. we make various clips thaty we put online purkt on tv. it's been fantastic experience. >> trevor: it really has been fantastic. i've seen some of the shows, and honestly the ben carson one was probably my favorite. was he as chill in person. >> he is very chill. he's a very nice man. we interviewed him in detroit, and the most remarkable moment-- probably the single most remarkable moment for me in all of the interviews-- was when i asked him about his opposition to gay marriage and asked him how he justified that when he was trying to lead a country where so many people are in favor of it. and i think we've got the clip. >> trevor: we've actually got a clip that you have to watch. so you asked him about gay marriage and why he was opposed to it. and this is what ben carson said. >> what do you say to the next group? >> what is the next group.
>> do you say, "well, we changed it to this group, but that's it. we're not changing it for anybody else." everybody knows there are more groups. >> honest to god, i don't know what you're talking about. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: okay, okay, let's-- let's switch gears. let's talk about the debate coming up. how do you decide who's going to moderate the debate? is that like an exciting thing in the office or i is it like te republican debate is coming and you draw straws or is it a gift? >> no, it's a gift. we have three moderators, becky quick, carl quintanilla, and me. and we have expert analysts helping us. we have big meetings for hours to talk about our questions. if you want ton what it's like, i would say it's a three-syllable word that begins with cluster, and we have multihour meetings.
but it's been good. that process gets us to what we want to ask them, which is what are the ways in which they're going to help the american economy to deliver higher living standards >> trevor: it is specifically. >> it is specifically on the economy. the biggest issue in our politics right now eye have been covering politics for a long time-- for 40 years now the average american family has not seen their wages rise. why is that? both parties under democrats and republicans. president obama says it's the challenge of our time. the republican candidates say the same thing. and we're going to get a chance in the debate to really draw these candidates out on what exactly they're going to do. >> trevor: aren't you a little bit intimidated, you're going to be asking these people about the economy. there is a man on the stage who literally wrote the book on the the art of the deal. >> yeah. he's told me about that, actually. >> trevor: are you ready for trump? you know? ( laughter ). >> i think we are ready for
trump. it's very interesting. i never expected that when this campaign started that donald trump was going to be ahead in the polls this long into the process. and in fact, not only donald trump, but ben carson, they're leading all the candidates, not just by a little bit but by a lot. so they're going to be at the center of the stage. and the guys who have been governors and senators from big states are on the side. carly fiorina will also be there, the former hewlett packard c.e.o. >> trevor: you spend more time on them if they're in the middle? is that how it works? >> do they have equal time? with the time what, do you do if they don't answer your questions? >> well, you can follow up. there are some questions politicians just don't want to answer and you can't make them answer. >> trevor: for instance, ask me a question as if i was trump, and i want to see what you'd reply. ask any question you'd ask trump. let's practice. >> how are you going to make the mexican government pay for that wall you're going to build. >> trevor: i'm just gonna make
them-- i'm just gonna make them pay. >> and how are you going to send 11 million people out of the country? >> trevor: i'm gonna do it. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) you see, i've given you something to think about, john harwood. >> you know, we had an incredible moment in our debate in 2011. you remember rick perry. >> trevor: in fact, we actually have a clip of that. before we let you go, this is the moment that john harwood is hoping to recreate, i hope, this time. >> it's three agencies of government when i get there that are gone. commerce, education and the uwhat's the third one there? let's see. >> you can't name the third one jalet's see. i can't. the third one i can't. sorry. oops. ( cheers and applause ). >> oops. you know how in some pro golf tournaments if you win the tournament, you can keep playing the rest of your life no matter how bad you're playing.
>> trevor: yes. >> i thought that rick perry should have a lifetime pass into our debates because-- but he dropped out of the race before it happened. >> trevor: that's selfish of you, my friend. that's the same reason i hope donald trump carries on, for the sake of the show. thank you so much for coming here. you can see john harwood on you can see john harwood on cnbc, tim!! you can see john harwood on cnbc, everyone: tim! pass the queso. tim, we need to hang out more. timnado! t-bone! actually, my name is brian. new tostitos rolls! chips. bring the party.
we wanna see if you know wstrawberry?t. mango? i kind of taste carrot. let me show you what you are drinking. hahahah, wow. what if i told you there was four different vegetables in there too? it's still good! introducing, tropical green from tropicana farm stand! obviously healthy. surprisingly good. we heard you got a job as a developer!!!!! its official, i work for ge!! what? wow... yeah! okay... guys, i'll be writing a new language for machines so planes, trains, even hospitals can work better. oh!
sorry, i was trying to put it away... got it on the cake. so you're going to work on a train? not on a train...on "trains"! you're not gonna develop stuff anymore? no i am... do you know what ge is? it's back t-mobile's most popular family plan. get 4 lines with up to 10 gigs of 4g lte data, each. no sharing just $30 bucks a line need new phones for the family? get the samsung galaxy s6 for zero upfront, and just ten bucks a month. plus, get a samsung 4g lte tablet on us when you get a new data plan only from t-mobile.
(wolf howling, thunder crashing) >> storm clouds gather, darkness prowls, the moon shines full as specters howl. this scary house, this lonely road, revenge is coming and best served cold. revenge on jeff, who plays with dolls. revenge on walter, who moans and scowls. peanut, jose, shall know their place, like my awful father, who scarred my face. one by one, they'll learn they're damned to minding the monsters with jeff dunham.