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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  November 5, 2015 1:34am-2:08am PST

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well, at least the mayor decided not to dissolve the police department. yeah, i wonder why. let's just say i was able to broker a deal. now, if you'll excuse me, i'm late for my thrice weekly... lunch with the mayor. but you just ate 20 minutes ago. i know. the things i do for moonbeam city. ah, lunchtime. hey, why are you going into that supply closet?
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[door closes] do they serve food in there? pizzaz. here you go. sorry i burned the clothes, and the jewelry kind of all melted together into a big clump. oh, how'd it go? pretty terribly. i did severe damage to almost every major system in my body and was almost killed several times. - sorry to hear that, kid. - thanks. do you think i could maybe keep the mustache? sure. thanks. ah ha ha ha ha ha. ah hah hah hah hah hah hah! ah hah-hah-hah-hah-hah hah-hah-hah! chirp. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome to the
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daily show. thank you so much for tuning in, i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight fareed zakaria is joining us, everybody! and now we happen to be off last week so i thought i would quickly catch you up on all the stuff we missed wile we were away. first up, congress managed to come to a budget deal meaning they will not be shutting down the government this month. which i'm told in america is a thing that deserves praise. yeah. that's right, it seems this government is being run by t mobile, month to month. no contracts. meanwhile, we also learned that the plague is apparently staging a comeback in america. with 11 u.s. cases reported since may. yeah, 11 u.s. cases of the plague. pizza rat not so charming now, is he? but perhaps most upsetting, yup, it's a mess. the saddest thing, celebrate the
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fact they got to the world series but they lost t it is not right. i have been a devoted follower of this team over six months now. and i don't know how patient a met's fan can possibly be. i hope this is rectified next wear. -- year, but moving on, isis, they're a lot like done all trump's presidential campaign. when it first showed up we all thought eh, this probably won't last more than a month or so. and yet here we are, november 2015, and both are as powerful as ever. but as dib(?ixult as america's war against isis has been, there is one thing that president obama has made absolutely clear. >> it will take time to eradicate a cancer like isis, it will not involve american combat troops fighting on foreign soil. >> the president has ruled out american boots on the ground in iraq and syria in a combat role. >> the president has made clear there will not be u.s. boots on the ground. >> trevor: that isçó right. no boots on the ground. if anything, obama is going to
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take those boots and put them on drones. (laughter) look how cute, he thinks he's a people. ha, ha, ha, ha. so the white house policy in the middle east could not be clearer. the u.s. will not be engaged in ground combat with isis. no boots on the ground. >> president o bam-- obama ordering boots on the ground in syria. >> for the first time u.s. ground troops, special operations forces will enter syria to help in the fight against isis. >> trevor: okay, i know what you are thinking, that sounds like boots on the ground. but it's not. the u.s. is just going to help fight, you know, like that guy in a corner in a boxing match who stands there, he's like punch him, now stab him with your boxing knife. now hug him, now spin the wheel for the bonus round. boxing is different in south africa. (laughter) so what are american ground troops going to be doing against isis then? >> this is to advise, assist, coordinate with these anti-isis
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forces on the ground, but already we are hearing details about what comes next. the pentagon already talking now about additional special operations forces into syria to conduct ground raids, when they find high value targets. >> trevor: ah, i see. so all america is going to do is advise, and assist, and then also everything else. (laughter) in fact, that old saying, teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. unless the man sucks at fishing, in which case just give me the damn pole, i don't have all day. i'll do it myself! idiot! so president obama, it seems like despite what you said earlier, yeah, you are, looking like a fool with your boots on the ground. boots on the ground, boots on the ground, looking like a fool with your boots on the ground. but let's take a step back and look at how we got here. in the 15 month war--
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(laughter) in the 15 months war against isis, the u.s. has tried both air strikes and training local anti-isis rebels. and both were successful at failing. >> a classified intelligence assessment bleakly concludes isis is as strong as it was a year ago when air strikes began. >> the pentagon announced it will abandon its long-standing effort to arm and train so called moderate rebels to fight isis. >> so far we have spent 42 million dollars on the program, and just four or five trained rebels still in the fight. >> trevor: what do they mean four or five fighters. what is up with the last guy snr that say weird number, four or five, that is a little too early to lose kowt, for $42 million, could you have fired a fifth or sixth guy to count the other guys and make sure how many people you had! (applause) so president obama believes that he now has no choice but to go
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back on his promise of no boots on the ground, which makes sense. all that is left to do is for this administration is to tell the american people that there has been a change in strategy. >> the fact is, our strategy in syria hasn't changed. this is an intensification of a strategy that the president announced more than a year ago. >> trevor: okay, wait so it's not a different strategy. it's an intensification of the same strategy. in fact, you might say it's so intense, that it's completely different. (laughter) honey, grand pa is not dead. he's just taking a really intense nap. i remember look, it's okay to change your plans there is nothing wrong with admitting that you didn't think you needed to use ground troops but now you think you do. the white house just needs to be honest about the need for a combat mission. >> this is an important thing for the american people to understand. these forces do not have a combat mission. the president has been quite clear that he does not con tell
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plate a large-scale long-term ground combat operation either in iraq or in syria. >> trevor: so wait a minute, did the white house just use it's just the tip argument? it's not combat if you go in just a little bit. (laughter) (cheers and applause) here's the problem. the administration says that the special ops troops it's sending to fight isis and syria will be on an advice and assist, not combat. the problem is they said the same thing about the special ops troops they sent to fight isis in iraq. and then days ago this happened. >> an american special operations soldier was killed during combats in iraq. the american was part of a raid to free isis prisoners. >> trevor: yeah, that american sergeant was a hero. he helped free 70 prisoners in an armed raid on a heavily defended isis facility. a situation you have to admit
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sounds an awful lot like combat. >> master sergeant willard in combat. >> there is no denying the fact that our men and women in uniform, who are serving in iraq in a train, advise and assist role are serving their country in a very dangerous place. >> trevor: you mean like combat? >> in the situation that occurred at the end of last week, you had american military personnel who are serving in an advisory capacity and it put them in a situation where yes, they were exchanging fire with the enemy. >> trevor: okay. so to sum it up, american troops are in a very dangerous place where they sometimesé+ exchange fire with the enemy, which, according to thexd dictionary, s not the same thing as combat-- oh, no, no, actually, that is pretty of the definition of combat.
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yes. oh, and look at that. a person-- filled with cheese is described and a combo. huh, you learn something new every day. the problem with not being straight with the public is someone is not going to read the memo and that person will rule the whole thing for everyone. >> a pentagon sportsman in baghdad iraq is admitting u.s. troops in iraq, are, in fact n combat. >> we're in combat. that's why we all carry guns. that's why we all get combat patches when we leave here. that is why we all receive danger pay. sov course it's combat. >> that's what i call a straight shooter. i like him. yeah. which just makes the white house look like they're speuing some bull [bleep] or as they would say, fecal matter commonly discharged from the anu s of a large bovine. we'll be right back.
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this is not a couch. this is where we watch football, futbol, basketball, baseball, curling, hurdles, poker, golf ha! just kidding, no one watches golf.
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not much has changed thiswith the camera. except how you take a photo... find a photo... share a photo... ooh, mom's gonna love that one.
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your photos themselves have changed too. they move now. and the camera shoots video in 4k. you can even shoot slo-mo in hd. wait for it... splash! so yeah, that's what's changed.
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and there's actor jaleel white. and wax museum urkel. it's weird they're hanging out, but dual zone automatic climate control keeps one toasty and the other from melting. and the 7 inch touch screen display audio system drowns out that canned laughter. it's weird they'd want dual wishbone rear suspension, but the road to redefining oneself has many twists and turns. did i do... the new scion im. standard features that actually come standard. weird, right? >> trevor: welcome back. now we all know that it's hard out there for-- but what most people don't know is it is even harder out there for a cop. you have to sim pathize with the police, they have a dangerous job and it's a noble pursuit to put your life on the line for your fellow citizens. but recently the trust between police and citizens has become to fray. >> cities across the united states are reeling from a dramatic spike in vy lent crime,
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and some including the fbi director james comey says that is because of what is being called the ferguson effect. >> ah, the ferguson effect. not to be confused with the fergie effect. which is when you become overly aggressive about showing people your humps, your humps, your humps, your humps, your lovely lady lumps. so what exactly is the ferguson effect? >> the ferguson effect, claiming that violent crime is on the rise because police are afraid to do their jobs aggressively. afraid that if they do, their actions may be captured on cell phones. i spoke to officers privately in one big city precinct, who describe being surrounded by young people with mobile phones held high, taunting them, damn you kids! and the worst part is they're all filming in portrait mode, just turn your phone sideways for the love of god. turn it sideways, according to some, the ferguson effect is a real issue. people claim that the police are unable to do their jobs because they're afraid of being caught
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doing their jobs bad. and this is a big problem. unless you deal in fact. in which case it's not actually a problem. because you see, a recent study says it's too soon to blame any crime increase on the ferguson effect especially since crime has been trending down yard for more than 20 years. but these are just facts. they don't count. it doesn't matter what the facts are. the only thing that matters is how the police feel. >> so many people are taunting the police, every cop has to watch out that they're on video. >> just turn on the iphone, they wait for them to do something that can go viral because when something goes viral, then that police officer is slieltly-- cops n now cops nw saying to themselves, wait a secretary, let me stay in the car. i will get out of the car, i will get in trouble. maybe i will lose my career. >> trevor: yeah, maybe you will lose your career for getting out of the car. or maybe you will lose your career for staying in the car. jefferson, come on, meet the mayor. okay. oh no, what have you done? >> i didn't get out of the car!
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why didn't you get out of the car. because i don't get out of the car. >> but it was in the office. this is so weird right now. i know there are real dangers that police face every single day, facing death or serious injury, or being assigned to the eagles game. i understand these things. but it seems like being videotaped while doing your job shouldn't be the thing that makes you question whether or not you should do your job. it seems that is what the ferguson effect is. officers feeling luke they are being blamed for what other officers are doing. >> in my 42 years, i have never really been associated with police officers who get up in the morning, put on their uniforms, go out and risk their lives and say to themselves, let me see whose rights i can violate today. >> the bad work of some bad officers shouldn't destroy these communities across the country when a majority of them are really good people. >> trevor: exactly. the majority of police are really good people. it's like bad santa.
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yes, he was a terrible santa. but that doesn't mean every one stops trusting all santas, even though we should. why would you want kids sitting on your lap, you creepy basque tard. but the police are just trying to make a basic point. people are treating them unfairly. just because of who they are, and how they look. people following them around with cameras, wamping everything they do. suspicious that they are always about to break the law. leaving police afraid to even get out of their cars for fear that someone might whip out a phone, and brutally film them. (laughter) (cheers and applause) who can imagine how that must feel? and if you listen carefully, all the police are saying is, phones down. don't shoot. we'll be right back. >> look at me, what do you see? a dangerous person. >> a dangerous person. >> when i'm walking toward you. >> i see you cross the street. why? cuz you see people like me on
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the news. breaking the law. doesn't mean that's me. >> that the's not me. >> every group has bad apples. terrible, terrible apples. >> you see a bunch hanging out together, you think we're a threat. how did we get to this place. enough is enough. is enough. >> enough. >> discrimination hurts everyone. >> i guess we're not so different after all. >> get out, get out. back up. >> you said enough is enough.
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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back. my guest tonight is the host of fareed zakaria gps, a new cnn special is called long road to hell, america in iraq. >> there has been no formal process to hold anyone accountable for the terrible misjudgement of the iraq war. but one former administration official says, there were more than just mistakes. >> i think if you look at the technical definition of some war
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crimes, i think the united states committed war crimes. >> trevor: please welcome fareed zakaria. (cheers and applause) (applause) welcome to the show, my friend. >> pleasure to be here. >> trevor: good to you have here, this is, now if you include all iterations of the daily show you have been on, including the 20 times now. >> 20rbgs the big 2-0. >> trevor: 20 times you have been on, is that more times than i have been on the daily show? i feel like it has. and yet they haven't offered you the gig. >> what i want are your suits. but. >> trevor: thank you so much for coming back on. great to have you. so this is a kid's movie i'm gathering. >> exactly. fun and games about war crimes. >> trevor: fun and games about car crimes, that sounds like a good movie, disney pixar movie -- movie. st a ver intense story that is
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tough to break down. but i mean it's basically about the mistakes made in iraq. and whether or not those mistakes will be repeated in syria. >> right. i mean it seems to me that this is not really just about history. because if you think about it, iraq was a case where you had a regime that was a minority regime. it was the sunni, saddam hussein was a sunni. we would get in, dislodge it and say we're going to create a new democratic iraq that includes everyone. and we send in lots of troops and spend lots of money. and it turned into a hellhole. it turned into chaos. it was a ten-year period of almost civil war. iraq even today is the second most violent country in the world. after syria. so if we are thinking of invading the next door neighbor to iraq with many of the same tribes which also has a minority regime, the alawites and syria, it feels like you might want to learn something about what went wrong the first time. >> trevor: if you look at the region as a whole, what was
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crazy to watch in the documentary is the idea that iraq no longer exists. iraq, on a map, yes, we still see the lines. but there is no more iraq. this is divided up into groups now. the sunni controls a region, the shiites and isis controls a big piece of that now. is-- does that mean we should really allocate that? should we say that this is a new region? should we accept that or. >> i think in a sense what we have to do is recognize that what we have are these three enclaves, or three stateless. i don't think it is going to change formally. but the kurds are essentially self-governing in the north. the shiites are self-governing in the south and the bad land in the middle that isis controls. and i think again when you look at syria, the lesson to learn from that is, if you did end up, imagine your wildest dream come true, the assad government which we are battling, does get toppled. what is goes to happen then. you are going to have chaos.
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the the alawites will try to create their own little state, the kurds, it will turn into an intensified civil war with probably these enclaves just like you have in iraq. >> trevor: one of those enclaves people could argue is isis. isis is one of those enclaves that came out of iraq. and a lot of the soldiers that were disbanded from the iraqi army went on to fight with isis. >> in effect, that is one of the other big mistakes we talk about. which is that by disbanding the army, you put out-- you have unemployed hundreds of thousands of iraqis who now hated the new regime. and they had no jobs. but they had guns. they kept their guns. that is not a good combination. and again, same thing is likely to happen in syria. you get rid of the assad regime. what do you think will happen to the syrian army. they are not going to say oh, right, there is a new government here, i bet they're going to be really nice to us. they are going to go into an insurgency mode. >> trevor: you noafer know. they might say that. i don't know. i have faith in the syrians. so what do you do in these
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situations, if you go in, and you topple a dictator, there is a power vacuum. if you stay there people say you are now invading a country. if you don't go in at all, people say you are not doing anything. what do you do? >> look at-- at the middle east right now. so we went into iraq, spent lots of time, money, effort. tried very hard and now it has one star on trip advisor. >> trevor: one star trip advisor, chaos and a civil war, and then there was libya. >> where we went in and said leave it to the locals. >> trevor: one star trip advisor. >> i'm amazed you are giving them one star. >> trevor: you can't go to zero. >> if any place would deserve zero, but you know, i guess-- now you've got syria as well and nothing is happening. >> so syria, we haven't done anything, one star on trip advisor, chaos, civil war. so the answer is that there is a very deep, bloody kind of sectarian struggle going on in this part of the world. there is going to be some sorting out. look, the lebanese civil war,
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lebanon had a minority regime, the christians, it took 15 years, they came up with an accord. iraq is probably going to end up that way. that after some point, these guys will renegotiate some kind of deal. the ability for an outsider to come in, you know, we always think we go in and we know who the good guys are. this is what is stopping us in syria. in syria we know exactly who we don't like. we are against the assad regime. we're against the principal opponent, isis. we're against all the al-qaeda affiliates in syria, al neus ra, against all the shiite millishas, the ones that iran is funding, hezbollah. so we're against everybody. we just haven't figured out who we are for. what we want to be for are good, moderate syrians who are like jeffersonian democrats, and it turns out there are four or five of them. (applause). >> trevor: thank you so much, fareed zakaria, long road to hell, america in iraq is now available on cnn go and on
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demand. it airs sunday at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m p.m fareed zakaria, everybody.
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>> trevor: that's our show, thank you so much for watching now. here it is, your moment of glen. >> meet southwest florida's wrinkles the clown. >> people pay me to go to their friends, to dance at their parties. you know, that kind of thing. bar miss vas and whatnot. 7 larry: seven passengers thrown off a plane. hey, spirit, forget the black people. how about throwing the [bleep]


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