tv The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore Comedy Central November 25, 2015 9:20am-9:54am PST
stick to their current recreational activities -- slowly dying in ohio. and the city of houston rejects a bill to protect lgbt rights. the city that gave them beyonce, how could it lead to a city like this? this is "the nightly show," america! let's do it! ♪ [cheers and applause] larry: thank you very much. welcome to -- i appreciate it. thank you very much. welcome to the show. i love you. i love you too, baby! the we have a great show tonight. neil degrasse tyson on the show tonight.
[applause] and, by the way, you know, it's cold and flu season. so what's better time to talk about america's number one airborne disease, spirit airlines. [laughter] it's now being accused of discrimination by several black passengers. >> passengers kicked off a plane overnight. the flight attendant says they were being unruly. they claim it's because they were black. >> police was called by spirit airlines after an argument broke out after a double-booked seat. larry: a double-booked seat? okay, guys, i have to call false racism on this. in a year when i'm trying to focus on black lives matter, i don't have the energy for black flights matter, too. i just don't got it. with more on the spirit be balk, we go to holly who's actually on a spirit airlines flight. holly, have you found any
instances of racism? >> yes. it's happening as we speak, larry. spirit is trying to kick me off too. #racism! . larry: whoa. hold on a second. holly, tell me exactly what happened. >> i refused to give up my seat. that's what happened! larry: i don't know about all that. okay. so they tried to kick you off the plane because you're black? >> yes! all i was doing was trying to finish "happy feet 2" and they just kept saying "get up, get up, get up!" larry: that sounds horrible. maybe there's something racist about it. >> can i interject for a second? we just want her to leave! [laughter] [applause] larry: the flight is -- holly, get off the damn plane. >> don't listen! he's a racist!
>> i'm not a racist! i just want to go home. >> he's a racist! larry: okay. moving on to our top story -- false alarm, false alarm. oh, by the way, last night was election night. like 95% of most americans, you're finding that out just now. [laughter] now, there were a couple of important issues out there. one of the biggest comes out of ohio where voters considered legalizing marijuana. all right, what did the voters say? >> voters said no to legalizing recreational and medicinal pot. larry: when you think about it, ohio is the one state that determines the president, right? i feel like they should keep a clear head. [laughter] they're kind like america's designated driver. sorry, ohio, could you hold on to the keys? we're all going to get [bleep] right now.
let us know who became president. thanks, dude. all right w. more o. with more on this story, welcome mike and ricky. so mike and ricky, i know you're on the scene. why didn't ohio voters want to legalize weed? >> this initiative was stupid from the get-go. it only allowed 10 companies to sell marijuana. larry: really? >> yeah. larry: this is a weed monopoly? >> exactly. and people want to get their weed from therapy shady dealers, not from a shady corporate suit. check it out, larry. this is corporate weed. it's like a corporate high. yes, sir ! corny. it's all big and it's slashes out the mom and pop weed, larry.
>> corporate weed! larry: i'm not seeing the distinction, you guys. i mean, it seems like weed is weed. [laughter] >> that's not true at all! >> mad and responsible, larry. >> let me explain it real quick. larry: okay. >> imagine i'm big weed. larry: okay. >> and these edibles are your local weed dealers. they're going to get eaten up, man. >> hold on. i want to be big weed, too. >> okay. hold on guys, hold on. you can't be big weed. sounds like you're using this analogy to justify getting high on television. >> i told you he's found out.
>> he's smart. that's why he's the boss. larry: thank you for zero clarity on this story. mike and rickey! [applause] now, there was another big defeat on last night's ballot. this time from houston, texas. be careful, texas. we've already designated you as a cray-cray state. >> the houston equal rights ordinance prohibiting discrimination in employment, housing and public places. based on factors including age, race, religion, sexual orientation and gender identity. larry: okay. let me break this down, the bill was supposed to fight against employment and housing discrimination for all kinds. i love that it includes genetic information. [laughter] i mean, don't worry if you feel like you're not being included on this list. i'm pretty sure genetic
information covers you, all right? [laughter] so this got defeated. how does a bill that was so all encompassing not get passed? >> opponents focused on the clause that outlaw discrimination based on gender identity. >> prop 1 is not about equality. it's about allowing men in women's locker rooms and bathrooms. [laughter] larry: what? now, you may be wondering how a huge antidiscrimination bill gets reduced to bathrooms. well, the trick? commercial that scare the poop out of you. >> any man at anytime could enter a women's bathroom. vote no. it goes too far. larry: oh, my god, get out of there! why is the cameraman not helping? that's powerful. i mean, i was scared. i'm not allowing to have my kids
to have a bowel movement ever again. i don't know. this bill seemed like a no-brainer, bu. let's go live to houston with more. grace, i really don't understand this. why do you think this bill was voted down? >> larry, let me explain this. as a woman in houston i don't want to poop next to a dude. larry: but this -- this bill isn't about pooping next to dudes. i mean, it's a broad antidiscrimination suit. >> i'm pretty sure it's about dudes watching me poop. you know, men get off on that kind of thing. this guy was hiding in this stall -- larry: grace. that was a scare tactic. this bill wasn't even just gender. >> when a woman gets fired, she can go to a women's room and cry
without a man going in and watching her poop! larry: why are you focusing on this? nothing to do with bathrooms. it was discrimination. >> everything is bigger in texas, especially the fear of progress. [laughter] i want to be real with you, larry, nothing scares the [bleep] out of us more. larry: i think i understand now. grace parra, everybody. we'll be right back. before it was honey in these honey nut cheerios, it was honey being collected. and honey getting made. and honey that was just beginning.
oof, i'm stuffed. might pop a button. i would eat it. mom, can you pass the coffee-mate gingerbread flavor? absolutely! she's beautiful. coffee-mate's seasonal flavors are here. including new gingerbread. what's happening here... is not normal, it's extraordinary. because there is no stop in us. or you. only go.
it's a housewife who's in control of the finances. actually, any wife, husband, or human person can use progressive's name your price tool to take control of their budget. and while the men do the hard work of making money, she can get all the car insurance options her little heart desires. or the women might do the hard work of making money. [ chuckling ] women don't have jobs. is this guy for real? modernizing car insurance with -- that's enough out of you! the name your price tool, only from progressive. where is your husband? the name your price tool, only from progressive. signing uwas very easy.nsurance
my premium is 22 dollars a month. it only took a few minutes, and i got exactly the kind of coverage i wanted at the price i wanted. it was a comforting feeling to know that our family is secure and that we have health insurance. most people who sign up on healthcare.gov qualify for financial help to make coverage more affordable, lowering their monthly premiums. financial help with healthcare.gov makes it possible. many find low-premium plans for less than $75 dollars a month. sign up by december 15th for coverage starting january 1. coochie, coochi, coo! he so has your peanut butter. well, he's got your jelly. time for a feeding. no!!! ah jam it! crazy good! larry: we're doing something a little different on the show here. we teamed up with the fine folks at acura to run a contest in which we asked to people to tell us something nice they've done that no one knows about. we went through the many
submissions and picked two winners who get a vip trip to new york. here to talk about one of the winners is mike, one of the contributors. >> what's up, larry? larry: you went down to florida to meet one of the winners, right? >> yeah, that's right. a woman named joanne in kissimmee in florida. larry: how did it go? >> in college, a fortuneteller told me i'd get eaten by an alligator one day. anytime i go to florida, don't get eaten by an alligator, i count that as good. i made it back. larry: take a look at this. >> i'm mike from "the nightly show," and i'm in kissimmee florida to visit our contest winner, joanne tinsley. i'm so excited today, i'm about to surprise joanne at her office. she has no idea we're coming here. this is going to be so much fun.
i'm 6'2", chocolaty brothers, i can't be be popping up at people's jobs to surprise them. i might get arrested. she'll be very excited. congratulations, joanne. >> thank you. >> you're our big winner. we asked the question, what's the best thing you've never done that no one knows about it. your answer was? >> during the recession -- >> the recession? >> uh-huh. >> anywhere between 2007 and today? >> that's right. >> my husband and i -- >> your husband? >> yeah, my husband. >> i'm sorry. one second. this contest clearly stated nobody was supposed to owe are y'al -- arey'all kidding me? your husband knows about? >> yes. we drove around on christmas day and gave money to homeless guys. >> kind of awesome that there's
only three homeless people in kissimmee. we have a lot in new york. why three $100? >> i wanted to make sure it was an amount that was exciting for them. >> keep it a hundred. this has to be the most exciting experience of your life, right? >> no, not really. >> are you kidding me? this is "the nightly show" with larry wilmore. >> this is exciting, but i spent three years in berlin in the army in military intelligence at ththe height of the cold war. >> that's interesting. how much money did you give away on kwanzaa? >> none. >> cinco de mayo? a couple of fivers? >> no.
>> nothing on cinco? who ran this contest? all right. we already blew our budget on flowers. congratulations! you are our winner! i love it! larry: thanks. congrats again to contest winner joanne tinsley. we'll be right back. 30, 29, 28. tick, tock. 25 years old and you're still playing in the mud. 15 feet in the air, that's where you feel most alive. 10 meter maids waiting to wallpaper your truck. better get out of town. 5, 4, 3... the all-new tacoma. toyota. let's go places.
what's that? snapshot from progressive. plug it in, and you can save on car insurance based on your good driving. you sell to me? no, it's free. you want to try? i try this if you try... not this. okay. da! this feud has gotten a little out of hand. when you think about it, all the scents are great.
friends? friends. ♪they were best friends all along♪ ♪they just didn't know it ♪but i started singing the song ♪and now the friendship's showing♪ ♪they're best friends since about 12 seconds ago♪ ♪they're best friends and now they're really, really old♪ [old spice whistle] (spritz) [old spice whistle] i'm lmy bargain detergent shift couldn't keep up.ter. so i switched to tide pods. they're super concentrated so i get a better clean. 15% cleaning ingredients or 90%. don't pay for water, pay for clean. that's my tide. coochie, coochi, coo! he so has your peanut butter. well, he's got your jelly. time for a feeding. no!!! ah jam it! crazy good!
a pastor of a church here in new york city is the host of "come to papa" on sirius xm radio. he has a new show sundays on the national geographic channel. it's neil degrasse tyson. [applause] larry: for everyone at home, joining our show, use the #tonightly. this is one of my favorite issues. the war between science and religion is one of the oldest wars between man ever. we'll solve it tonight. >> good. larry: this is interesting. a new poll out from the pew research center says that americans, especially millennials, are becoming less religious. as we get more advanced in science, does it hurt our belief
in god? >> i don't -- i feel like the more that we discover, the more science discovers, the more personally it reinforces the idea that there must be some kind of a god. like when you see things you've never seen before, the rings of saturn, even sunsets or yoga pants -- yoga pants. larry: right. >> that yoga pants appear in our lifetime, you're going to tell me there's no god? larry: you behold yoga pants and think there's a god? >> i see a big butt in yoga pants, and i think, oh, maybe god is black. larry: i don't know if i'm going to touch that one. so science for you reveals more of an existence of god or an existence of more awesome science? >> anyone describes their understanding of god, typically
it involves some statement of benevolence or kindness. i look at universe. yes, it's filled with mysteries, but it's also filled with all manner of things that would just as soon as have you dead, like asteroid strikes and hurricanes and tornadoes and tsunamis and volcanos and disease, pestilence. there are things that exist in the natural world that do not have your health or longevity as a priority. i cannot look at the universe and say that, yes, there's a god and this god cares about my life at all. the evidence does not support this. larry: in all fairness, you just described the old testament. pastor, help me out. is there science a threat to religion? >> no. i think god created science.
for me, i don't think exploring any of this stuff is bad. it will lead you to exactly what you said, a knowledge that something had to begin this. there's something more. i love it. i think that science is awesome. i don't think they war at all. >> i feel the more we learn, though, the more it might increase our likelihood of believing in a god, or whatever, but i think it hurts religion. i think the more you see, the more things are exposed, less likely that you show up in different places what man has decided you're going to translate god. >> yes. you're making a distinction between the beauty of a system and thinking there must have been an intelligent design as opposed to this intelligent design doesn't want me to eat meat on fridays. >> right, right. >> just to be clear, what is the intelligence of which you speak? an asteroid comes and takes out 70% of all the experience of life on earth. is there some intelligence -- >> very clever. >> i think of the human body.
i look at what's going on between our legs. there's a sewage system and entertainment complex intermingling. there's no engineer of any intelligence would have designed it that way. larry: yeah, pastor, isn't there also the watch of the desert? isn't it the same argument? >> sometimes religion prides itself on beginning the end and end of all knowledge. if you've already said, i know everything, we know-it-all, it sometimes can eliminate new knowledge and discovery, and i think that's wrong. if you're secure in your faith, you'll be open to learning, hearing, discovering. i think that's the essence of at least my religion. >> do you hold any room in there for the existence of god?
>> sure, if there's evidence. larry: what kind of evidence do you need? >> yoga pants! larry: what kind of evidence does science need? is faith not completely compatible with an evidence-based -- >> 40% of american scientists will go to church and pray to a personal god, a god that would answer their prayers. when you go to those scientists, including the head of the national institutes of health, our guy who is head of the genome project, francis collins -- larry: i was going to say francis collins. [laughter] >> he's a born again christian. he wrote a book, hiking in the mountains, turned a corner, and the waterfall was frozen in the winner, and he was prostrate and gave himself to god. he's a productive active
scientist. he's embraced science, but kept the spirituality part of what's in religion. he's not the first to do that. thomas jefferson is perhaps the most famous american to have done that. he said the value in religion is not believing in miracles, but following wisdom carried by an important person in the history of humans. larry: i think he was sex with a slave when he that wrote that. pastor, i'll give you the last word. >> people need to keep on discovering, learning and hearing. doubt does not have to be a dead end. it can be something that leads to an open door. we need room for people to explore, have doubts, and figure this out. we all have a desire to be fulfilled, and people need to keach on looking. larry: i find them both inspiring. i think science and religion, both have an opportunity to inspire rather do anything else. we'll be right back.
♪ (vo) some call it giving back. we call it share the love. during our share the love event, get a new subaru, and we'll donate $250 to those in need. bringing our total donations to over sixty-five million dollars. and bringing love where it's needed most. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. coochie, coochi, coo! he so has your peanut butter. well, he's got your jelly. time for a feeding. no!!! ah jam it! crazy good!
larry: okay. that's our show. our panel discussion went long, but check out the entire discussion on our website @nightlyshow.com. good nightly, everyone! >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah. thank you for joining us!
our guest tonight, pras is joining us, ladies and gentlemen! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: big news out of missouri, the midwest of the midwest. as you may know, last weekend, football players at the university of missouri went on strike after university president tim wolfe refused to take action after horribly racist incidents including somebody painting swastika on a dorm wall using feces. yeah, they weren't impressed, the president did nothing. i want to say congratulations to the students because this morning, tim wolfe, the president, actually resigned, yeah! (cheers and applause) and you realize, black people, this is hiewfnlgt you understand what this means? like if you want to change something in american, just threat ton take the black people out of sports. because if there is one thing