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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  December 1, 2015 9:22am-9:56am PST

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ant. it makes sense, guys. carly fiorina refers to planned parenthood colorado as a protester thasm is almost as crazy is as calling carly fiorina a candidate for president. >> and injury plagued kobe bryant announces he's retiring from the lakers by writing it in a poem. the saddest part, while he was writing the poam, kobe tor his achilles, i'm not making thup, this is the nightly show, america, let's do. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> larry: oh my god, oh my
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god! welcome to the nightly show. look at this. >> larry, larry, larry! >> larry: thank you so much, please, please. thank you so much. what a great crowd, yes, i'm your host larry wilmore. we have a great show for you. the whole show will be done in a russian accent. it's going to be unbelievable. whooo! man! you will have no-- all right, so i was going to say something but i didn't. busta rhymes will be joining me on panel tonight. (cheers and applause) busta rhymes. i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. do you know what i did? i have to show this to you. i did one of my favorite things. do i this every year,ogue, curl up on the couch. put on a little fox n friends. and i get my black holiday
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cooking tips. >> do this any time of the year. >> i do it in the summer and i put fresh strawberries in here too. >> with a great idea. >> do you make kool-aid? >> do i do what? >> make kool-aid? >> no, i don't make kool-aid. >> no! what are you doing? you don't ask a black woman if she makes kool-aid for thanksgiving. for two reasons, by the way. one, because it's racist. and two, because of course they did! du h. but now she has to lie about it on television. making that poor black woman lie on tv. and to make matters worse, her daughter bella had to watch this drive biracism up close and personal. look at her face. that is going to leave an
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emotional scar. even steve doocy is like dude, you know we're on tv, right? i mean i'm not wrong, that was racist, right? >> oh yeah! >> larry: oh, okay, thank you, kool-aid man. we've always understood each other, me and kool-aid man. but to be fair, it's not odd for fox news anchor to bring up kool-aid. it's constantly on their minds because that is what they are constantly serving people. it's true. fox and the gop lovemaking up a big batch of kool-aid and dolling it out like it's jonestown. and they start-- no, they start by pouring a pitcher of factless accusation, add a splash of
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fearmongerring and then they just stir up the base. this time-- (applause) this time it had to do with friday's tragic shooting. >> we're learning more this morning about the alleged gunman behind friday's deadly shooting rampage at a planned parenthood clinic in colorado. >> the after the suspect was taken into custody he rambled about president obama, politics and borgs saying, quote, no more baby parts. >> larry: no more baby parts. okay, now this could be just a nut uttering some crazy thing, but that sounds very specific. no more baby parts. i mean, almost as if it was served up in a nice cold picture of fox and their friends kool-aid. >> showing the body parts of aborted babies. >> they are taking babies apart to harvest its brains. >> baby parts. >> baby parts. >> baby parts. >> baby parts. >> rip up their body parts and sell them like they are parts to a buick. >> a dead baby's head.
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>> larry: dead baby's head, buick parts. you know, i have to apologize to my mechanic who, i thought was lying this whole time, you know. yeah, looks like your dead baby's head has gotten loose, larry, sorry. that's what that clanging noise is. okay. so let's review. since the summer fox and the gop ramped up their rhetoric about baby body parts being sold to planned parenthood, the kool-aid, cut to a buy shoots up planned parenthood then rants about baby parts. now you know what occam's razor s the simplest explanation is probably the correct one. do i feel comfortable saying he was at least partially motivate-- motivation by the right's demonization of planned parenthood? >> oh yeah! >> larry: thank you, kool-aid man. is he behind the wall? kool-aid man is behind the wall. but look, if you think it's unfair of me to make that connection, here's the deal. since that baby parts kool-aid
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was brewed, the fbi has been concerned with escalating violence on planned parenthood. >> for several months now law enforcement have been concerned about people targeting reproductive health-care facilities, specifically planned parenthood locations across the country as the intelligence bull tin warned of quote lone offenders using tactics of arson and threats, all of which are typical of the prolife extremist movement. >> larry: geez, who is your new inform ant, [bleep] incredibly obvious, maybe? now of course, of course the fbi and the nightly show aren't the only ones with theories, presidential candidate ted [bleep] incredibly a moiing kreuz weighed in with his theory. >> the media promptly wants to blame him on the prolife movement when at this point there is very little evidence to indicate. >> he said no more baby parts. >> well, it's also reported that he was registered as an independent and as a woman and as a transgender,.
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>> larry: man, ted cruz isn't just drinking kool-aid, he's swan diving into it. so after just making up that a leftist ago vis shot a planned parenthood he then said this. >> i don't think it's fair to blame on the rhetoric of the left. >> oh, fine, someone give this machine a metal. how gracious are you not to blame the rhetoric of the people who you just pretended committed this crime. >> the kool-aid is strong with this one. strong. quool aid. pouring out. and there's one person who clearly has gone from drinking kool-aid to getting it intravenously. the mistress of brain harvesting, kool-aid herself, carly fiorina. check out how she blaimed the left. >> this is so typical of the left to immediately begin demonizing a messenger because
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they don't agree with the message. >> larry: hold be a second. the messenger is a murderer. and his message is murder. who agrees with that message? there is no demonizing a demon. he is already a demon. that is his job, demonning. but carly wasn't done. >> what would you say to the protester, the people that are outside the clinics and oppose it. >> well, any protestors should always be peaceful, whether it's black lives matter, or prolife protestors. >> larry: black lives matter, no, no, no, no, no, no! black lives matter protestors, the people who are protesting being shot at by the police were literally shot at last week. and you ask for them to be peaceful? what the [bleep] does black lives matter have to do with any of this. how did they get dragged into this. kool-aid man, back me up here,
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this is totally unfair, right? >> oh yeah! >> larry: okay. look. i realized that the kool-aid isn't directly responsible for the shooting but it is a contributing factor. let me demonstrate, okay. all right. this is a glass of let's just call it crazy juice, okay. now some people's glasses are already nearly full with crazy juice. there they're this close to the edge and there is no room for anything else. >> oh. but when you add a little bit of baby parts haterade to the crazy juice, oh no. it overflows and people get hurt. instead of dolling out more haterade, let's work on the crazy juice. why don't you drink some water, something with no sugar, america's gopt the die-beets. we'll be right back.
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>> larry: welcome back. so for the day after thanksgiving or if i'm keeping it a hundredk black friday, is when we forget all about being thankful for what we have in order to tramp el our neighbors for what we want. >> see this? >> yes, lady! >> larry: tis the season to give me that. that was mine! it was more insight on this year's black friday cay o as the c.e.o. of the popular mega store big loads barland harpstock.
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cheers cheers. so barland, what did you make of this year's black friday? >> oh, larry, thissier was incredible. you see my grand pappy, he founded big loads on two core principles. >> one, dropping big hot loads all over america. and two, watching the poors fight over those aforementioned loads. >> larry: i'm sorry, watching the poors fight? look, come on, larry, rich people like you and me are board, you know that. >> larry: me? >> we don't get-- we don't get tone joy the excitement and drama of eviction notices and running from the police. you know what i'm talking about. we have to find other ways to amuse ourselves. >> larry: so you set up black friday just so you can make fun of poor people. >> not just. i mean, here's the truth, larry, it is a mutually beneficial relationship. see, the poors get things like i done know, a new whirlpool double stacker washing machine for only $300! and we all get to watch them fight. i mean that's pretty good.
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that's a lot better than rondza rousey, you know what i'm saying. >> larry: no, no, no. no one wants to see poor people just fighting. >> well, tell that to the boys other than at-- . >> larry: look, the drk dsh. >> look, whether you are you wealthy or just rich, affluent or just well moneyed. >> larry: those are all the same thing. >> hold on, now. there is alot of decisions in there, nuanced. poor fighting is for everyone. watch this, watch this. oh, god, that is so primal. >> that's horrible. >> it's like two lions fighting over a zebra carcass or something. exsuspect in this case, the zebra carcass is a 50-inch wrap around hd tv from advise yo, they make great stuff, larry. man, i'm getting a black friday boner just think being it. >> larry: this is crazy.
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only a sick person derives enjoitment over poor people fighting over merchandise. >> hold on, larry. >> larry: what? >> seriously, you have ever even been inside one of my big loads? >> larry: no, i don't think so. >> well, why don't you come on down, man. swim around inside some of my hot savings for awhile. who knows, larry, even you might end up fighting over stuff you want in one of my hot big loads. >> larry: look, okay, now i just think you like saying big loads. that's what. >> larry, can i just say one more thing. >> larry: go ahead. >> big loads. >> larry: see, there it is. >> open until mid night. >> open until mid night. come on down to big loads.
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you got to stick up for yourself, like with the name your price tool. people tell us their budget, not the other way around. aren't you lactose intolerant? this isn't lactose. it's milk. ♪ >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel nightly show contributors jordz an car loss. -- -- jordan carlos, also nightly show contributor grace parra. and his concert busta and friends takes place this saturday at the were you dengs center in new jersey, multiplat numb recording artist busta rhymes. join the conversation@nightly show using the hashtag@nightly. fox anchor harris faulkner was making a peach could be letter when this happened. >> put fresh strawberries in
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here too. >> do you make kool-aid? >> do i do what? >> make kool-aid? >> no, i don't make kool-aid. >> larry: before we talk about t let's have some kool-aid. >> thank you. i love that. >> that's red, that's great. >> a good flavor, flavored red. >> busta, can i give you a little kool-aid? >> no, i want some water diet right now. >> larry: water diet. >> you know what, let me get some kool-aid. >> larry: exactly. >> water diet. >> larry: what kind of diet is a water diet. >> the water diet, you know, when you. >> it's straw berry. >> larry: is it straw berry. >> this is has hints of raspberry. >> larry: you have a problem with this? >> well, i think it just illustrates to me that like brian kill immediate is-- killmeade is an idiot. >> but he's like an idiot by fox
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standards which is saying a lot, you know what i'm saying. >> the fact that steve doocy burned him. >> doocy gave him the side eye. i think if he looked newspaper a rainstorm, he would drown. i just feel. >> i find it amazing at this point that we are expecting any morality from fox news. when i think about fox news. >> larry: you say this of the kool-aid. >> when i think of fox news i feel like i've become an old testy mexican grandmother. i look at that. and povritocito. >> larry: but would you be offended in you were on fox and they said busta, you want some kool-aid. >> coming from where you come from, it kind of reminded me of the kid that they waited their entire life for the opportunity to slide in one of those little tough guy smart, slick, sar cass particular-- he probably would have got [bleep] out of him. >> yeah. >> (cheers and applause)
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>> taken from what busta just said, taken from what busta just said, i feel like are you on the fence about this guy. >> you know, i would deal with him. >> larry: he could have been innocent. maybe he just likes kool-aid, i don't know. >> maybe he's just trying to like, likes pairing. he is like you know what would be really good. >> i don't know. >> you know what goes with porter house, cap ree sun. pork belly, how about a little sunny-d. >> i don't know. >> the little girl that was horrible. >> part of the thing that bugd me, i made a point of this. i feel fox brews up kool-aid for a lot of different things and serves it up, people drink it, end of story. i made the comparison to this antiabortion rhetoric. do you think it is a fair comparison to make that people saying that, which was a lie by the way, planned parenthood was not doing it. i feel it is the way to smeer planned parnlthood t helps a lot of poor women that really need
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these services. >> absolutely. >> larry: i mean. >> (cheers and applause). >> larry: very important service. >> but you know, how much of an affect do you think those types of things in the culture have an fek on people's behavior. >> i think that they are really putting a magazine any fying glass on these people that really have no life or sense of purpose. and they give them a sense of purpose. and. >> people on the fringe. >> i'm talking like the dude who went inside and shot it up, right. so he's the guy that is probably sitting home, he lives in the woods or [bleep] where the lives. >> like a little cabin. >> you know what i'm saying. i mean, i just think it's incredible that the sensationalism of from the media perspective is so out of control to me. that it just magazine any fies it and multiplies it so the other nondes kript worthless individuals that don't have
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proper perspective on life and value of life and just morals and principles and proper integrity and things of that nature, it gives them the perspective to think that, okay, so now we're [bleep] because we just did this and we're all over the news. and they're going to be talking about it, and we'll become these martyrs that they never forget. and you know, they got the repeat idiots that come after that. >> copy cats. >> so i think that is what the real harm of this really is. (cheers and applause) >> i'm sorry. >> i would just say the saddest part is we don't have a mic for you to drop. >> oh my gosh. >> i want to pour a little out. >> also, i don't like, i think, i don't know if carly fiorina said this directly but calling that man a protester. is there a person who take very honorable sides, there are people who are very honorably for and against this issue. a very devicive issue.
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you can honorably for it and honorably be against abortion. >> absolutely, absolutely. >> larry: that's what i mean. only this fringe type of person is going to do killing. but they are not a protester. >> he is a terrorist. a domestic terrorist. (cheers and applause) >> absolutely. >> hen i was in fourth grade, i picked a wedgeie in front of the entire school, little fourth grade grace picking away in front of the entire school. you know what the can is called me, wedgeie woman because that is what i was. not a protester of comfortable underwear. >> absolutely. >> why would we lose the ability as adults to tell it like it is. you have to call them out. >> i have i it is-- think it is easier to say vold mortgage than domestic terrorism it is very hard for me to say that, i'm very afraid of tom riddle. >> larry: we try to keep it a hundred on this show. that is [bleep] terrorism, all right, we'll be right back. grab some free tickets to attend an upcoming taping of the
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>> larry: that's our show, i want to thank our panelist, jordan carlos, grace parra and busta rhymes. stay tuned for@midnight with chris hardwick. good nightly, everyone. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"!
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i'm trevor noah! we have a great show for you tonight. here to talk about his newo newe "chi-raq," my guest is the legendary director spike lee, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] but first, we're back from thanksgiving break. but we all know what the real holiday was. >> millions of americans are rushing to stores this morning for black friday deals. for some the battle forburgens started thanksgiving afternoon. police were called to break up the fight between two shoppers in louisville, kentucky. >> trevor: that's my hello kitty toaster! no! i've done it again! ahhh! black friday. or as we call it back in africa... friday. [ laughter ] now, actually, last week, i was away so i couldn't sit around and watch my favorite tv

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