tv The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore Comedy Central February 25, 2016 2:10am-2:41am PST
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comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: very kind. very kind. thank you so much. thank you. so kind. welcome to "the nightly show." i am larry wilmore. so you know you take to the audience observer the show. could you mention my birthday? could you mention my birthday, too? what's your name, peyton? you guys with ( bleep ) with me. but happy birthday, anyway, manny and peyton.
let's get right to it. i'm sure you've all been following the big iphone case, not the 6s plus case, but the one where apple and the government are in a fight over your privacy. >> a federal court ordering apple to unlock the san bernardino terrorists' iphone, and this morning, tim cook, their ceo, telling the feds, get lost. >> larry: "get lost"? don't worry, tim cook. if the government is using apple maps, they will definitely get lost. ( laughter ) not gonna be. ( cheers and applause ) burn! apple burn! so here's the deal. the f.b.i. can't get into this terrorist's phone, yet somehow i feel like if there were naked pictures of jennifer lawrence on this phone, it would have been hacked, like, 10,000 times by now. but they're the f.b.i. so why can't they get in? >> the fbi needs apple's help because the security settings on the phone lock the device if the
password is entered incorrectly too many times. >> larry: jesus, the next "mission impossible" movie is going to be, like< six minutes long. " sorry, there's a four-digit code. we're (bleep)." so what's the f.b.i.'s plan? >> the f.b.i. want apple to upload software that lets its analysts get around the security features and take as many shots at the pass code as necessary to unlock syed farook's iphone." >> larry: ah, the f.b.i. doesn't just want apple to let them in. they want apple to create an entirely new software to allow them access to the phone. there's actually a word for this. it's being called, what is that? >> backdoor access. >> backdoor access. >> backdoor access. >> and if one group gets the backdoor access, does another group get a backdoor access? >> larry: backdoor access, right. okay, this all seems pretty complicated so we brought in someone to help us get to the bottom of this.
please welcome backdoor expert brance crantly. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: so, brance, what's the government doing wrong here? >> look, larry, it's simple. when you're asking for access to the back door, you can't come on strong with the f.b.i. and the federal court orders. you've got to start slow, man. set the mood, create an environment of trust, maybe give access to your back door first to show how cool with it you are. you get it, man. >> larry: wait, are you actually a tech expert? >> i don't know, man. i just got an email saying you needed someone who knew a lot about the back door. you know, that's my thing, i'm the backdoor guy. >> larry: we don't need you. get out of here.
brance crantly, everybody. so this fight over whether or not apple should help the f.b.i. access the phone is really complex. on the one side, apple says that doing this will create a dangerous precedent. if they develop a key that could gain access to your phone, who's to say that key won't land in the wrong hands? and on the other side, the government's position is they just want to look at a dead terrorist's phone to prevent future attacks. in other words, the government's like, "why can't i look at your phone?" ( laughter ) and apple's like, "baby, why you gotta look at my phone? all i do is make calls. why do you have to look at it? then the government's like, "if that's all you're doing, then why can't i look at your phone? you got something in there you don't want me to see?" and then apple's like, "maybe i got a surprise coming for you.
make i got pictures of presents for you on that phone. what's the name of that restaurant you like. let's go to that, baby." but i'll tell you what. i'll let some experts weigh in. >> former n.s.a. director michael hayden tells "usa today" he agrees with the government on this specific case but not on the broader issue of a so-called back door. i think, on balance, that harms american safety and security. >> larry: the former director of the n.s.a. thinks this is problematic. let that singe in, you guys. the data scoopiest data scooper that ever data scooped is like "this is some scary-ass data scooping." that's pretty terrifying. all right, who else? >> bill gates this morning is backing the government in its fight with apple. >> we want a government that has visibility, and we trust it to use that visibility on our behalf. >> larry: this is odd,
theex-head of microsoft is in favor of doing something that might hurt apple? ( laughter ) , of course, he is! bill gates is like, "i can be patriotic and (bleep) apple? are you kidding me? where do i sign up?" ( cheers and applause ) it's so obvious. you know, by the way, you guys, has anyone-- has began exwn thought to ask siri what she thinks about all this? hey, siri, have you heard of this terrorist phone thing? what should apple do? >> just opennen that asshole's phone. i mean, seriously, apple. wow, i didn't know you'd have such a strong feeling about this. >> by the way, would you like me to continue your google search of "backdoor access?" >> no no no. that's unnecessary. please erase my search history, siri. thank you very much. thank you. ( cheers and applause )
now, the case seems pretty simple when you're just focusing on one phone. that's what the government keeps saying-- we just want to unlock this one phone. but it's not entirely the whole story. the government is trying to get into at least 12 other phones, and they're not all high- profile terrorism cases. one request would allow the government to search the phone of a guy who's suspected of possessing meth. government, you're wasting your time there. i can tell you what's on that meth-head's phone-- a google search for "how much is a washing machine door worth at a pawn shop," directions to the junkyard at the edge of town, and an e-prescription for super-gonorrhea. that's pretty much what's gonna be there. it's horrible. sorry. i just-- for the first time i imagined that. i didn't imagine-- during our rehearsal. but, clearly, guys, this is a pandora's box, and it's a
slippery slope. it's a pandora's box on a slippery slope. i'd like to trust the government on this. but come on, guys. it's the government. they're the boy who cried "give me your data" at this point. what bugs me is the government is falling over itself to change the rules on this device involved in the san bernardino shooting, but not this device involved in the san bernardino shooting. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) >> hi, i'm holly walker keeping black history 100 for "the nightly show." did you know the united states wasn't the worst offender when it came to importing african slaves? that honor goes to brazil, with almost five million slaves, compared to the u.s.a.'s 400,000. and that's why i refuse to get a and that's why i refuse to get a brazilian b
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( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. i took questions on the internet recently, and some people were upset about a show i did back in september. now, that didn't necessarily surprise me, because we tackle a lot of difficult subjects on this show. i mean, the second show we did was about bill cosby's alleged-even-though-i-think-he- really-did-it-raping. that's right. i haven't forgotten about you, (bleep) ( cheers and applause ) have not. we've talked about cops killing unarmed black kids, the mistreatment of women, the flint
water crisis. i get it. these are topics that are going to stir up controversy. so, anyhow, on this particular date, we were talking about water on mars, and understandably, some people got very upset. they thought we disrespected and kept interrupting our guest, scientist bill nye. a couple commenters even accused me of being anti-science. listen guys, i love science. when i was a kid, i wanted to be an astronaut. i still wear science pajamas. ( cheers and applause ) i do. not many guys can pull that look off. but i am fascinated by discoveries of all kind. and i love it when with i see kids interested in science. the last thing i'd ever want to do is be disrespectful of a guy who loves science. ladies and gentlemen, i'm a blerd. i'm a black nerd. i love science, and i love bill nye. ( cheers and applause ) hey, it's bill nye.
bill nye, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) bill, i don't know if you heard what i was saying. >> i heard you, larry. i heard it through the science of television. and not only that, i was standing right over there. >> larry, of course, science of proximity. >> yeah. >> larry: bill, when you were here, you didn't feel disrespected, did you? >> larry, larry, it's a comedy show. you're thinking about this too much. let me put this in scientific terms. haters gonna hate. you just gotta let that (bleep) go. >> larry: those are scientific terms? >> yes, and i'm quoting copernicus. "let that ( bleep ) go." he really said that. but it was in latin. >> larry: i know. he said it in latin originally,
but it was let that ( bleep ) go. so, we've cleared the air? because people thought we were interrupting you, not letting you speak. >> there's no air to clear. we're good. in fact, actually, since i'm here, there is one more thing i wanted to mention about water on mars. there are weeping craters-- >> larry: sorry, bill. we don't have any more time. bill nye, everybody! bill nye, everybody! bill nye! ( cheers and applause ) so nice of you to come. thanks, bill! thank you! so nice. ( cheers and applause ) such a great guy. interrupting him. give me a break. so the oscars are sunday, and there's been a lot of controversy over the lack of diversity. i mean, personally, i feel like many of the major roles could have been played by actors of color. or could they? have a look. ( applause ) >> the accident that took the life of astronaut mark wasny,
was a tragedy. though his body remains on mars, the spirit of this brave explorer will remain with us, his family here on earth. forever. thank you. >> i think i got a transmission. hello? hello? can anybody hear me? hello. this is astronaut mark wasny. i am alive. >> it's a miracle! oh, my god! ( applause ) let's bring him home. let's do whatever it takes to get him back-- >> you know, uh, it would be really hard to bring him back. like, super hard. >> and i literally just did that
press conference, like, a minute ago. so, it would be weird to, like, do another one. what are you going to do? >> hey, i grew potatoes to stay alive! i figured out how to make water! diit, guys! i did it! send somebody to get me. >> it's not like he's matt damon. >> what! >> it's going to cost too much. >> is he worth the money? he's not. >> what the ( bleep )! you hear me! i know you hear me! son of a bitch! >> want this lunch? >> great idea. >> what does everybody feel like? >> chinese food? >> i had chinese last night. >> what about antonio's. >> antonio's closed. >> what! >> yeah, weeks ago. >> devastatingingly heartbreaking. >> why don't we do food court. i'mifying booig. ( cheers and applause ) >> what the hell is going on! you hear me! you see me! >> thank you. >> really! even the black dude is gonna leave!
wow! ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: we'll be right back. aaaaaaaand we're back at cricket wireless! switch and get a brand new lg risio for $19.99, or take a spin with the samsung galaxy grand prime for $29.99! cricket wireless. something to smile about. sweetheart, don't look at me like that, it's gonna be amazing. this is a disaster! who's the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate? miss monroe, eat a snickers. why? you get a little cranky when you're hungry. better? much better. this scene will never make the cut, morons.
( cheers and applause ) >> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. first up, "nightly show" contributor rory albanese. ( cheers and applause ) and "nightly show" contributor franchesca ramsey. ( cheers and applause ) and he's a former heisman trophy winner, pro-bowl nfl running back, and now the current star of the musical "chicago," eddie george. ( cheers and applause ) and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter @nightlyshow using the hashtag #tonightly. i want to talk about this whole apple thing versus the government, this happening right now, trying to hack into the san bernardino's terrorists' phone. does anybody here think apple should do this? >> no. >> larry: you say no. >> no. i'm going to say no. >> i say yes. i think it's okay to-- i mean, apple should-- oh, you know what? i retract. i think that-- i think the government should be able to get into it, because, i mean, this day and age that we live in,
it's-- it's-- it's very dangerous. i mean, things are happening out of nowhere. people getting shot, and i think it's totally appropriate for them to have access to it. i mean, strike a balance between the two. i'd rather have the f.b.i. going into my personal phone versus my wife. i'm just saying. >> larry: but what feels like the more important issue, privacy or safety, i mean, i feel like-- they try to scare us and then we make bad decision. it was what happened after 9/11. we went to iraq because we were scared and i feel like they do that. >> they try to scare us, and now they're doing this. we just-- we just got the n.s.a.-- because of snowden letting us know this is happening and now, of course, he's a wanted man because he told us. but, like, we just stopped them. we just stopped them-- we just stopped them from looking at our stuff. and a year later they're like,
"maybe a little more access would be nice." no, ( bleep ) you. leave us alone. >> larry: you feel the opposite. >> i think given where we are in this society, when randam acts are happening, violence is happening, we should be able to find out what's going on. i don't mind that. again, i have-- i have children. i mean, i have to go to vandlibility and grade school. we have to be able to stop this some way, somehow. we have to strike a balance between the two. >> larry: you're starting a wealth management company, something like that. eddie is like a ridiculous-- >> when i'm not playing football, i'm on broadway. >> i don't play football anymore. >> larry: on broadway, a wealth management company. aren't you concerned, with a company like that, when there are keys to get into information you can be hakdz. un china and russia are going to be the first buyers of this key. >> they can do it now. i think there are hackers out there now. so it's not totally safe.
but what i think-- what i'm saying in terms of our safety and where we are, i mean, over the last five, 10 years we're having more and more random acts of violence at our schools, post office-- >> but that is a very specific point about the type of security we're looking for. we're squared about brown terrorists but not white ones. because if you look at the numbers, in reality, the people who are shooting up the schools, the highest instances in the past 10 years, and the post-9/11 society, has been white supremacist groups, have been antigovernment groups, and so when we talk about security, i see increased security for people that don't look american. and then i see other people not getting that increased security. >> violence is violence. evil is evil. >> absolutely not. i don't think that we-- >> violence and iphones, i don't connect that. i connect violence with guns. but that's the thing that's weird. ( cheers and applause )
no, but it's like, you said it earlier, the government-- the government's reaction is people are shooting people. we need to get getinto your phones. what? what does that have to do with my phone? i have stuff on my phone. there's a lot of emojis. >> larry: it seems like the government wants as much information as possible unless that information involves your ownership of guns. >> exactly. >> i mean, look, to m me-- and e government gets hacked all the time. like, an 11-year-old-- or 20 years, a stoner who hacked the c.i.a. it was like a stoarn who hack gd the c.i.a. "i thought it would be funny, man." >> that was pretty funny. >> that also tells you the government only has p.c.s and not apples. >> that's a good point. >> larry: let me ask you this-- if we thought-- let's do a different scenario. let's go with your security question. there was possible evidence of a nuclear bomb or something that
was on that phone, would you be for the government breaking-- >> the government is telling us-- the government is telling us it's evidence. i trust them with a grain of salt. but i also feel-- my biggest issue is this-- the government always wants ton what we're doing and butt they never tell us what they're up to. that's what it is. there should be transparency on both ends. if you want to look at my phone, i want to meet an alien. >> larry: everybody's got to know everything. nothing's going to be secret, y'all. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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