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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  April 13, 2016 9:49am-10:22am PDT

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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah. thank you so much, everyone. our guest tonight, comedian and vine star king bach is here, everybody! (cheers and applause) first, i want to talk about north carolina. over the years, they have been known for their tobacco, barbecue and almost winning stuff. (laughter) last month, their governor mccrory signed legislation allowing discrimination based on sexuality. now time for the backlash. >> bruce sprinsteen is refunding concert tickets in protest of
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the north carolina law. canceled a sold out show in greensboro friday explaining on facebook some things are more important and the fight against prejudice and bigotry is one of them. >> trevor: few things more important than a rock show. this is bitter tweet for gay and transgender friends in north carolina. if they had tickets, they don't get to go -- this concert is one thing i have to look forward to while living here. this is great. more power houses are standing up against north carolina's law. you can feel the movement building. the movement may have just reached a climax. >> north carolina facing another boycott over a controversial new law and this one is unique. the porn site xhampster said it's blocking any computer in north carolina from accessing its videos. >> trevor: oh, no! (laughter) one web site blocked porn?!
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how are they going to get their porn now?! now they're going to have to go to the library to get all their porn?! aw... national geographic, here we go again! you know the most interesting part about this? xhampster released its numbers and showed last month north carolina had 400,000 hits for the term transsexual and over 300,000 for gay. surprisingly, only one search for transsexual hamster, ande i was just curious if it was a thing. (laughter) and it is a thing. (laughter) let's talk about something that happened over the weekend here in new york city. but first, does everyone here know what cp time is? >> audience: yes. >> trevor: yes? and that side is, like, no... well, for those of you who don't know -- >> cp time, for those of you who don't know is a slang term for colored people's time, a
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stereotype about african-americans running late. >> trevor: coming up next, we explain the meaning of the an december, a term originating from -- well, okay, we'll be right back. that was so awkward she had to say that. here in new york, thrans annual charity event host bid a journalist group called the inner circle, basically a night where politicians and journalists get together and perform sketches to remind themselves that they're all on the same side. what could possibly go wrong? >> hillary clinton faces new backlash this morning because new york citi' mayor told an off-colored joke. >> thanks for endorsement, bill. (laughter) took you long enough. (applause) (drum beat) >> sorry, hillary. i was running on cp time. (audience reacts) >> i don't like jokes l
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bill. >> cautious politician time. oh, okay. i have been there. >> trevor: oh, i get it, i get it... you see, the joke is bill deblasio saying he's late like black people always, are and hillary saying she doesn't want to be president! a ha, i get it! why would you do this, hillary?! this should be so easy. just don't say the things that will lose you the votes! you know you're not a good joke teller, and you're in the midst of a controversy involving a comment about black people and, still, you choose to make that joke? that's like if the governor of michigan was going around flint telling water jokes -- i'll have a mountain dew, i'm trying to stay healthy, ha ha ha ha ha! no! in hillary's defense, whoever put that video together didn't do her a favor. you have to cut away to the black people in the crowd to show they aren't offended like
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this. >> sorry, hillary. i was running on cp time. >> i don't -- i don't like jokes like that, bill. >> cautious politician time. (laughter) (applause) >> trevor: oh, damn! that's how you do it. when you're saying things that make black people laugh, it's impossible to look bad. that's how it works. now, i can see how people would be saying, hey, trevor, hillary clinton's up there with a black actor who's obviously signed off on the joke and she's there with bilbill deblasio who has a black wife and kids so how could they be racist? i agree with you, they're probably not racist. they just got too comfortable. let me explain this in a way white people will understand. race jokes are kind of like, orcas -- powerful and entertaining, but you put them on display in the wrong environment, and people are going to get hurt, and the joke
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might die -- like this one just did. (laughter) so race-based humor is sensitive to race, but luckily we have two correspondents who are experts at navigating it, roy wood, jr. and jordan klepper, everybody! (cheers and applause) >> thanks, trevor. it's true, jokes involving race can be tricky. >> but if you keep an open mind, it can pay off. >> that's why we work good on camera. our friendship exists off camera. we were doing a stand-up gig at college. >> first time this guy's been to college. >> not true. okay. jordan is playing with the idea of the undereducated black man and it's okay because we're friends. he's using stereotypes to create satire, a powerful weapon. >> almost as powerful as royce's unregistered handgun. >> i don't have a gun, but i see
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what you're doing, and it's okay. when jordan confronts me, it forces me to keep an open mind. >> when roy confronts me, it force mess to keep an open cash register -- take it all! go home and feed your 19 kids! >> what's the problem? i'm just doing this because we're friends. these kinds of jokes can be misunderstood if you're not aware of your audience. >> save the cp jokes for when you're among friends, context is everything. >> make aing generalizations about an entire race can seem like you're saying all black people are the same. unless you have trust. >> i hate pool. we were talking about when we were in high school. >> we met six months ago. were on the basketball team together and you played all the positions. >> trevor: jordan, jordan, do you think all black people are the same? >> oh, no, no. i see what you're doing right there. you're trying to flip this to
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make me look like a racist, right? roy was the man in high school. i mean, you were the science teacher, you were the hall monitor, you were the bus driver, you were a couple of the kids, you and my dad would have cigars and talk about vietnam together. >> we're not friends anymore. okay, wow. that's okay. a little heartbreaking. i can't believe i'm losing my best friend and favorite uber driver. by the way, you're doing a great job hosting this show. (laughter) >> trevor: jordan, i don't think you're racist, i think you have a brain tumor. >> why don't you chill out, jessica, i'm talking to roy. >> trevor: okay, thanks, jordan klepper, everyone! we'll be right back! what is wrong with you? what is wrong with you? (applause) t-mobile does data differently. while the other guys gouge you for every bit of data you use..., t-mobile lets you stream all the video and music
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(cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back. racism affects nearly every aspect of life, even -- and it truly pains me to say this --
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(bleep). jessica williams and ronny chieng have more on this very important subject. >> as people of color, a lot of our problems stem from racism. >> and now minorities having trouble getting laid are blaming their lack of game on something called sexual racism. >> sexual racism... we sat down with sexy crybaby zach stafford who says most people trying to smash online dating platforms are sexually racist. >> when someone says something like, you know, i don't date black people -- talking about all black people -- that would be referred to as sexual racism. >> if i was not -- how is not dating someone because of skin color is any different than you're not attracted to them? >> not dating someone because of skin color is the definition of racism. >> but this guy's too douchey, this guy's too short. >> this woman won't pee on me. what? she won't --
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you said pee on me. it's called water sports if you're looking for a term. >> you know that. i know you know that. >> we do think about race when we're thinking about desire and sometimes it can be detrimenta to people. >> look, i want to give everyone a chance but i have been guilted into sleeping with thousands of women. i can't live like that anymore. i have a full-time job now. >> thousands? yeah. really? if you count when it's in group situations, yeah. >> you need to go get tested. listen, sexual racism is not a thing. it's just a preference. we needed to talk to someone with insider information about how online daters behave. >> like christian rudder, co-founded obamacare cupid and wrote a whole book about dating statistics. >> we looked at who people messaged, matched with and responded to. >> you're like edward snowden but for trying to put peens in the jeans? >> yes, a systemic racial bias in about every site.
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>> really? 82% ofñr non-black men have some bias against black women. >> 82%? that's racist (bleep). >> and asian men get the fewest messages and worth ratings of any group of guys. (laughter) >> there's no way this nerd was right. think about the asian male hot dogs killing it right now like that one guy -- you know, from the zombie show. it's probably just a couple of super racist people driving down the average. >> i mean, we are super desirable people. i mean, i am a desirable person. >> it's tempting to believe there's a small group of racists dragging down everybody else, but everybody collectively is rating asian men or black women poorly. >> eat (bleep) and die. my god, you can't say (bleep) like that. sorry, dude. >> so i may have overreakedñi a little bit. i never thought i could be the victim of sexual discrimination. >> we needed to go undercover because ronny is way less famous than i am, i created real dating
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profiles on bumble, tinder, grinder, scruff and adam for adam. >> you did what? i'm swiping right on everything. >> you didn't ask me. it's for research! after eight days of swiping right on everybody, i got zero matches on tinder. that's supposed to be the slittiest one. >> we thought ronny was super do you remember ugly. >> why are you attacking me? e went to a bar and assembled disadvantaged dates. they had a lot of complaints. >> one of the worth messages did you know 90% of black women have he wer herpez. >> did that work? no. and then every chinese guy has small dicks. >> that's a billion dicks. was it macklemore? no, i hate that guy. people ask me the question what are you all the time. >> i have to do something.
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hearings guise, it's tv's jessica williams. if you ever feel the need to ask what are you, do me a favor and just don't (bleep) do it. i couldn't believe things were this messed up. how has our culture become so sexually racist? >> the media tells us what we think is beautiful. when you live in a world that only shows white people being happy and in love and successful even as people of color you will want that and that fuels your dating desires and sexual racism, really. >> we can't fix sexual racism in society but using the power of the media we can at leastç'i the word on how minority daters want to be dreentd. >> don't bring up stereotypes. e racist. treat people like individuals. >> yeah. i don't think that's ever going to work. >> mm-hmm. i feel like masturbating by yourself is the answer. >> what! it's going to take a long time for sexual racism to work it's ugly ass way out of
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society. >> still, there might be hope for someone i know. >> but for real though if you really want to hit h up rony, here is his number and okay cupid. >> what are you doing? nothing! (applause) >> trevor: thank you, jessica and ronny! we'll be right back! (applause)
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you know, that reminds me of how geico's been the fastest-growing auto insurer for over 10 years straight. over ten years? mhm, geico's the company your friends and neighbors trust. and deservedly so. indeed. geico. expect great savings and a whole lot more. i...just andrd my four daughters.... ah, there's a lot of dancing and pageants that go on in our kitchens and living rooms and things like that. i've had to learn to accept certain things like the fact that my toe nails and finger nails are going to be painted constantly. but it's really awesome to watch them at their own things. they're great kids... all of them. whatever home means to you, we'll help you find it. zillow. thank you so much. did you say honey? hey, try some? mmm that is tasty. is it real? of course... are you?
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nope animated you know i'm always looking for real honey for honey nut cheerios well you've come to the right place. great, mind if i have another taste? not at all mmm you're all right bud? never better i don't know if he likes that. yeah part of the complete breakfast sorry, just getting a quote on motorcycle insurance from progressive. yeah? yeah, they have safe rider discounts, and with total loss coverage, i get a new bike if mine's totaled. but how's their customer service? great. 24/7. just like here. meat loaf! [dings bell] just like here. anybody got a pack... that needs leadin'? serving all your motorcycle insurance needs. now, that's progressive. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a comedian and actor who can currently be seen in the movie "meet the
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blacks." >> what are you doing? i'm not going to be in chicago without you, baby. >> if you say you my friend your my friend! >> baby, how did you get here! you don't have a car! >> i don't need a car! i took a greyhound. three days and three nights just like jesus christ in the desert with adam and eve, hallelujah! baby! >> trevor: please welcome king bach! (cheers and applause) ♪ welcome welcome. >> thank you. you're on my snapchat right now. >> trevor: this is so weird. are we doing this now? >> this is live. >> trevor: so the tv goes to the thing -- >> i just ran out of time. >> trevor: what do you mean? only 10 seconds. y again. ready? can you guys make more noise? (cheers and applause)
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>>ñi trevor: we're done! see you next week! perfect, nailed it. how did it feel. >> trevor: that's the internet? >> that's what the internet's come down to now. >> trevor: done? hello and goodbye. >> trevor: that's insane, man. it's all right. it's going to be okay. >> trevor: i just feel like -- i just feel like we're missing out on so much. >> no. >>ñr trevor: how am i going to get to know you? thank you for being on the show. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: this is the most followed man on vine, more than 15 million. >> 15.3 million. one person, thank you! >> trevor: that's a lot of people. someñi people don't know. you have 6 million on inns ins, you are running networks by yourself, basically. >> yes. >> trevor: you're creating content and making this -- when they said they're making six-second videos, i said that's not possible. you said it is. why and how? >> i was bored one day at home.
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i was doing a lot of auditions, and i would audition for these roles, like really study for these roles and i would see them give it to, like, denzel washington, and you know he's not auditioning for these roles. you know what i'm saying? you know he's not in line studying this script. he memorizes the script when he gets on set. >> trevor: i like this, it's me and denzel! why is denzel getting the part? i can do that -- my man, my man! okay, and all right, you know what i'm talking about, okay? >> not bad. >> trevor: you're at home and do something else because the roles are limited and make your own thing. >> yes, because they were giving it to other people and i need add fan base myself. instead of complaining and living with me mom, she's here somewhere, i continued to follow my dreams. people are saying why are you doing these youtube videos, but in the back of my head, i was looking at it and seeing people
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successful out of it like dana cook, kevin hart and built their following a lot of it online and that's what i decided to do and it paid off. >> trevor: do you get to the point where your life is always online? you've always got your phone out. i follow you on instagram. you're running around filmle everywhere. do you have private moments? >> i have private moments that i film. (laughter) > i mean, you can because now people want to live your life. they want to see the journey >> trevor: but that's so intrusive, don't you think? >> it is >> trevor: that's what you enjoy? >> i mean, you've got to. >> trevor: you don't got to. (laughter) but you've got the same thing, which is it's really fascinating to me. what's also interesting is the fact that a lot of vineñi youtue instagram stars are still trying to be on tv. why? >> well, for me, i took it very seriously.
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i did an undergrad and i did a masters program, and i studied acting for two years straight intensive from 9:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. for two years straight, so i really put the work into my craft and i believe if you want to study anything, you have to put the time into it and that's what i did. so i think it translates the tv shows and movies, they can see this guy is not just internet famous, he has talent. >> trevor: and you do. we're seeing you everywhere now. house of lies, and black jesus, and seeing you in movies now, "meet the blacks," which is the strangest movie which i've ever seen because it's basically a black horror movie. >> yeah. >> trevor: which begs the question, who dies first is this (laughter) >> you will have to watch to find out. >> trevor: so you were blowing up, and not only your career you also had a foundation as well. >> i have the rujohn foundation ever since 2003.
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my family and i have gone to jamaica -- it started off with two computers to a little high school and then we got donations to do more and we give, like, basketball goals, we give scholarships to kids to go to college, we do an n.f.l.-n.b.a. actors workshop for the kids and it's good. we bring about 50 people down to jamaica in the sum around giv give -- in the summer and give back to them. >> trevor: the people that go with you are just going to have fun you realize that. >> yeah. >> trevor: they say, yeah, i'll come to jamaica and do charity with you! (laughter) where should we be following you? >> there's the -- >> trevor: where does the king bach empire take you to? >> you have to follow me on snapchat. >> trevor: we're snapchating?
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yeah. let's do one more. you've got one question. it's ten seconds. >> trevor: so much stress. a powerful question that rocks the world in ten seconds. >> live on snapchat! welcome to the show. king bach. >> oh, my gosh! (laughter) >> trevor: "meet the blacks"? theaters now, king bach, everybody! (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) ♪ are you eating lucky charms? no. this is a dream. they're magically delicious.
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who's the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate? miss monroe, eat a snickers. why? you get a little cranky when you're hungry. better? much better. this scene will never make the cut.
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>> trevor: that's our show for tonight, join us tomorrow at 11:00. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> the newest member of "sesame street" crew a 6-year-old afghai girl hoping to promote female empowerment in that country -- okay. >> thank you! good luck with that. they're about a thousand years too latgroup at wgbh
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don pardo: and now, an nbc special report. good evening. i'm tom brokaw. night, the war on iraq. what once seemed like a foregone conclusion is now mired in political debate, stalled by saddam's own shell game and confused by u.n. "hermuggery." here to discuss the administration's plans from the persian gulf aboard the submarine "uss louisville," vice president dick cheney. mr. vice president. [ laughter ] actually, tom, i'm no longer on the "uss louisville" as you can see. i'm now sitting on a 1,500 ton tomahawk missile, en route to baghdad.


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