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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  July 19, 2016 11:31pm-12:02am PDT

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♪ we are the champions ♪ no time for losers because we are the champions ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> larry: whoo. thank you very much. man, what. welcome to "the nightly show." thank you. you're too kind. too kind. thank you very much. welcome to "the nightly show."
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one guy was like larry -- ooh. so, man, last night was the start of the republican national convention in cleveland. you know what that means the epic unblacking of the white house is kicking into high gear. oh, man. that was kind of scary. now, of course the big story coming from the night wasn't scott baio or benghazi or five different people calling hilary a murderer for whatever that was. it was a big michelle obama speech.
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yes, brought to you by melania trump. >> you're word is your bond and you do what you say. you're word is your bond and you say what you're going to do. and to know that the height of you're achievement is were willingness to work hard for them. >> larry: oh, man. apparently a significant chunk of michelle obama's 2008 speech at the democratic speech was like airlifted out of denver and dropped into cleveland for melania trump. this is shocking. and it's worse than when melania took her let us do motions campaign.
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all right. i didn't think she'd get away with that so there you go. ok. who is responsible for this? whoever it is it's going to be their last day on the trump campaign. >> i voted. >> larry: with a little help from michelle obama. and i have a dream. but she admitted she wrote it but it didn't stop the campaign from bending over to defend her and watch campaign manager paul manafort defend her. >> how do you explain the similarities. >> there's fragments of words.
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>> larry: fragments of words? are you kidding me? no, fragments much words are like muh. dah. she took entire groups of words, also known as sentences from the first lady's 2008 convention speech. it doesn't stop there. this is hilarious another defense came from a strategist that said the words are out there. >> melania said you work hard for what you get in life and kid rock said work hard to be anything you want in life. melania trump said work hard and my little pony said anything you can do in your dreams you can do now. >> larry: hold on.
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nuh-uh. she lifted from twilight sparkle? you couldn't even steal from the medium-sized pony? you had to steal from the little pony? have you no decency, lady? but why do they make excuses for this? it's so clearly plagiarism. with us is is daniel condo. >> larry, come on. it's all a coincidence. come on, it's nothing but coincidence. people say the same words all the time. >> larry: melania lifted an entire paragraph. it's plagiarism. >> it happens, come on. it's a total coincidence, larry. that's all this is. >> larry: i think they're reaching. why can't they just admit they did something wrong?
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>> how do you know michelle obama didn't steal the speech from melania? >> larry: how could that possibly be. michelle gave her speech in 2008. >> did you of see the movie "looper"? >> larry: mark wahlberg? >> no, gordon levitt. anyway, he's looping through time and going back and trig to fix stuff. is he going to steal speeches? i don't know. michelle obama could have straight up looped. >> larry: let me get this straight. for you it's more plausible that michelle ope ope looped or time travelled than melania plagiarized? >> yep, that makes sense to all of us at trump h.q. >> larry: how do i say this?
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you're a [bleep]ing idiot. >> you just proved my point. no more little pony. >> larry: daniel condone, everyone. ok. so obviously a lot happened at the rnc last night but the thing that bugged me the most didn't even happen on the convention floor. >> they had the largest police union calling to restrict the open-carry gun laws during the republican national convention. >> larry: because of recent incidents because of violence against police but because of ohio's open-carry laws some police are nervous it can cause a problem. >> it will divert resource. people strapped with age ar-15 will have a lot of police officers looking at them. >> larry: yes. police are up there thinking
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he's right. yes. that is correct. police will watch someone carrying an ar-15. that makes sense. i look at anyone squeezing peaches twice at the grocery store? why do you have to keep squeezing? i don't get it. and he won't give a weirdly specific example. >> my grandmother can come in with an ar-15 on her back and six police officers will be watching her. when they should be watching for other things. >> larry: hold up, you still have your grandmother? she's got to be like 130. hey, if she want to carry an ar-15 i say god bless her. hey, if i was that old i wouldn't worry about an assault
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rifle. so what do you posropose. >> get rid of the open-carries. >> larry: yes. yes. thank you. that's a god idea. get rid of these open carries. >> get rid of the open carries just for the three-day period. that's fine, come back august 1 with 1,000 people with open carries and we'll welcome you with open arms. >> larry: no. close your arms. i was agreeing with you. apparently i was agreeing with you more than you agreeing with you. ok, so here's what's completely insane. they're concerned people carrying around guns, particularly assault rifles may not be a good idea like now but in three days it will be cool. all right. what did the governor say about this? >> the governor's office responsed saying they can't
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suspend the law unilaterally. it's a law. >> larry: you don't get to choose. that's the thing with the law. hey, i'm going to shoplift next week can we suspend the law for a while. but that's why you shouldn't have passed the law in the first place. look, guys, i respect the police. i want them to be a safe as possible and i agree with them that openly carrying firearms can foster fear and violence. i just think it can foster fear and violence 52 weeks a year particularly in the same city where tamir rice was shot and killed for open carrying a toy gun. now, the theme last night was make america safe again but as
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long as anyone can carry an ar-15 down the street and police have no idea who they're supposed to be watching out for i don't think anyone in cleveland should feel particularly safe. we'll be right back. first they're sour... then they're sweet. sour patch kids. sour. sweet. gone. it's gum!
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>> larry: welcome back. now for more coverage of the 2016 republican national convention we turn now to nightly show contributors. how are things at the republican national convention? >> oh, we're not at the republican national convention. we're actually here with you in the studio. how you doing? yeah.
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>> larry: i don't understand. >> don't worry. we didn't go to a convention. >> now, we didn't have the budget for the rnc. >> yeah, you only gave us $40. >> so instead of travelling to cleveland we went down to the jacob javit center in nyc. >> larry: ok. so what convention did you go to? >> actually we had two options. an auditors con vegvention. >> and the global market trade show. >> so fun. >> larry: we're in the most riveting election the country's ever seen and you went there? >> i think we made it work. >> i think we did. take a look. >> it's huge for the show. >> we've from "the nightly
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show." perhaps you heard of it. >> hello. we're heading up to the convention. what are you doing? >> should we go to the auditors convention? >> i have nothing to do with that. >> ok. let's do it. >> if you change your mind though if you've seen guy code or nurse jackie. lots of mtv shows. >> and looks like the road is clear and free. the exciting thing about conventions is there's always another one right around the corner so suck it menswear convention. >> we're going to get an audit. >> i've always liked auditors. >> we're going to remove you. >> a shame. there's a lot of security. guys we're being kicked out because the man is kicking us out.
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you didn't really mean that. he told me to have a good day but i can tell he did not mean that. >> i got a lemon dessert. >> so good. for "the nightly show" we're out. [cheers and applause] >> larry: that has to be the single worse piece of political reporting i've ever seen in my entire life. how did you spend my $40? >> a neighborhood gyros and snapples and that gyro through me like a tomahawk missile. >> but larry we did bring you a lemon dessert. want it? oh, so tasty.
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spanish for 20th century... but you don't want a spanish lesson, you want news about the next most interesting man in the world. well, don't we all.
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now you can watch nbc's coverage of the rio olympic games live at home or on the go. >> larry: hey, welcome back. the nightly show contributor rory albanese and robin thede and the mayor of braddock, pennsylvania. and join us on twitter using the hash tag nightly. last night melania headline speaker. i love it was an out of work
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journalist going, hey, that sounds familiar. >> he was probably at dunkin' donuts. he tweeted it. let's show the speech again. >> you work hard for what you want in life. >> you work hard for what you want in life. >> that your word is your boonn and you do what you say you say kwhau you're going to go. >> your word is your bond and do what you say and keep your promise. >> larry: i think she wrote it. that's what she told matt lauer and i think she just changed some words like a paper. do you think she wrote it herself? >> i'm concerned we're playing into trump's hands. like in the greenroom -- i was
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in the greenroom going through twitter and apparently donald trump is going to drop a snapchat video on the phone with michelle obama and michelle saying i'm going to let you have it. i'm pum pumping the brakes. >> of course she didn't write it. >> as someone who just got off the campaign i think whoever wrote it is besides the point the point is it's dumpster fire and that a campaign is dealing with this is appalling. >> larry: his whole campaign is a dumpster fire it's a toilet fire. a toilet on fire and we can't stop watching.
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>> it's scott baio speak at your presidential convention. >> larry: i don't agree. it was so close. someone has to copy that. >> i think a staffer copied it. >> they were pressed for time so they googled it. >> normally you and i agree robin but one, lying is clinton's thing so they have to lay off the lying and second, stealing because he's starting to get into the what is like what is plagiarism. very clinton like and to me the whole melania thing is like a classic like she lives in hot
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world. she's a hot girl. this is how hot girls get through high school. they copy from nerds. they don't get in trouble. melania wouldn't get caught shoplifting like oh, did i do this and it's like just take it and it's the first time in her life like what is this accountability thing. she doesn't understand. >> larry: i feel like the trump campaign like he is trumminator. he gets sprayed and comes back stronger. and he lies right to people's faces. >> they should have just owned it. they should have just owned it
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and said we made michelle's speech great again. they should have just owned it. >> larry: the black dit but we made it greater. >> cultural appropriation. >> and the best part was at the end of her speech when he comes out to hug her. i think we have a clip. he comes out to hug her and just points at her boob. he's like, yeah. that's it. >> larry: i guess we're done. >> he's like some of the things i care about. unbelievable. >> it is a trophy wife. like believe i did this? are you kidding. >> my heart goes out to her.
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she speaks like 12 languages and foreign-born immigrant and1(9ã married to to the biggest xenophobe on the planet. >> she knew what she was getting into. >> speaks many languages but plagiarizes three. >> plagiarism. >> larry: we'll right back. >> if you live in the new york city area or planning to visit city area or planning to visit grab free tick
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(cri♪ket chime) singing: cricket's got you covered like a blanket on a pig our plans cost little and our network is big. like a great, big gorilla in a pompadour wig
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great is great when big is big. you can text and like and swipe and stream it's the great, big network of your great, big dreams. it's the no duh uh-huh obvious callllllllllll it's the great, big network, sending love to us all. slap break! wrong. have a break, have a kit kat! >> larry: thank you for
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watching. goo goodnightly, everyone. seconds. "pokemon go" is the absolutely amazing app that has more daily users than twitter. more engagement than facebook, and is the reason i had to explain to two women in a yogurt shop that i wasn't trying to take a photo of their children. folks, turn off your a.r. when you're in public. a brief explanation: you use your phone's g.p.s. to catch pokemon in the real world. for instance, if you go into a bar at 11 a.m., you might catch a da

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