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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  October 18, 2016 11:00pm-11:32pm PDT

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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome to the "daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. i'm trevor noah. my guest tonight, from the new movie "american pastoral," uzo aduba is here. uzo aduba joining us in the studio. of course, there are only 21 days until the election. so you better order that survival kit now if you want free shipping. and right now, many people would say things are not looking good
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for mr. trump. a new poll shows clinton leading nationally 47 to 38. and among women, she's beating trump by almost 20 points. yeah, right now, even cramps are polling higher with women. ( laughter ) but there is-- there is one group of americans with whom trump is improving and that's black children. i'm serious. i'm serious. check out this photo from last month of trump meeting little miss flint. that is not a good picture. look at her face. she knows that danger is coming. ( laughter ) you see, a lot of people don't realize this, but black children are like an old man's knee before a hurricane. they can sense when trouble is on the way. and that's not the only one. i mean, two weeks after that, in las vegas while visiting a first grade classroom trump continued his adventures in african american odd backness. >> does everybody love school? >> yes! >> mr. trump, we have a gift for you.
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>> trevor: that girl is so creeped out by trump. she is so uncomfortable, and she grew up in las vegas. don't forget that. ( laughter ) a town where she walks by this on her way to school. don't ever forget that. how much does it suck that this girl's first kiss was almost with donald trump? ( laughter ) she'd be telling the story forever like, "yeah, it was this creepy old guy. he wanted to be president. i shut what down so quick." ( laughter ) so it's been a bad road for donald trump. but yesterday, yesterday, baby steps. >> donald trump spoke at a rally in wisconsin where he tried to show a bit of a softer side. >> that is the most little girl. hi, honey. you want to come up and see me? ( cheers ) >> trevor: oooh! oh, no, i'm not going to lie. that's adorable. and also statistically ippossible that what girl would be at his rally.
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i mean, yeah, her parents definitely promised her some mcdonald's if she went up on stage. but donald trump, he should have quit while he was still ahead. >> what's your name? >> solanish. >.>> what? say it. >> my name is solanish. >> what a beautiful person are you. >> thank you. >> come here. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i love how donald trump is so positive to little girls they dodge him like floyd mayweather. i also enjoyed how donald trump couldn't even come close to pronouncing that girl's name. what's that? why don't you just use the mic. you just do it yourself. do it yourself. go ahead. go ahead. it's clear despite their best efforts, russia has failed to shift the polls in donald trump's favor. so yesterday, trump turned to his other eastern european ally for help.
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that's right. melania trump sat down with both cnn and fox news in what i assume was the most modest room in their 5th avenue penthouse to defend her husband against rampant accusations of pussy grabbing. is anything not exwoald in that room? maybe trump doesn't have a tan. he's covered in gold dust from his house, touching things. in case you're wondering why it took melania 10 days from the billy bush tape to speak out, from the looks of it, she was using that time to practice her lines. >> she's kind. he's a gentleman. he's kind. he's a gentleman. i was surprised. that is not the man that i know. that is not the person i know. but my husband is real. he's raw. he tells it as it is. my husband, he's raw, and he's real, and he tells it as it is. all the allegations should be handled in a court of law.
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and the evidence, no matter who it is, a man or a woman, accuse somebody, a man or a woman, it's damaging and unfair. >> trevor: wow. look on the bright side. at least she's only plagiarizing herself now. so that is progress. that is progress. that is progress. ( cheers and applause ) we have to appreciate that. but beyond some well-rehearsed talking point, melania was able to introduce some new and creative spin about why her husband said such awful things on what tape. >> when you first heard it, what did you think? >> and i wonder if they even knew that the mic was on. because they were kind of a boy talk. and he was lead on, like, egg on, from the host to say dirty and bad stuff.
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>> you feel the host, billy bush, was sort of egging him on? >> yes, yes. >> trevor: so, wait, so, wait. you're telling me the guy, the guy who says she's going to tax china, wall mexico, and knock the hell out of isis, that guy can't handle himself in a conversation with billy bush? that's what you're sawing? he got egged on? yeah, apparently donald trump gives in to peer pressure a lot quicker than we realize. you just have to suggest a few things-- oh, wait. i think i just came up to a solution to all our problems. hold on. hey, donald trump, have you ever tried volcano jumping, man? it is so cool. it's when you jump into a volcano. not everyone can do it. you're supposed to only do it if you have a megabig penis and sex with a lot of supermodels. anyway, gotta go. where was i? where was i? ( applause ) all right, all right, melania, melania, was desperately trying to excuse her husband's sexual assault talk. >> he described it as locker
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room talk. to you, you sort of alluded to that as well. is that what it is to you, just locker room talk? >> yes, it's kind of two teenaged boys. actually they should behave better, right? >> he was 59. >> correct. ( laughter ). >> trevor: anderson cooper shut her down so quick. two teenaged boidz. "he was 59." oh! even the aingeies participated on the ceiling were like oooooooh! how are you going to say that with a straight face? your 59-year-old husband is a teenaged boy? how is that-- oh, okay. but etion i understand that, because if you converted, then 59, it is technically only 16 in douche years. it makes sense. if he does act like a teenage boy, why would we let him be president? think about that. i wouldn't trust a teenaged boy with a pair of socks, much lesnuclear weapons. i do feel bad for her,
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especially because she seems like a pretty nice person. >> last time you and i spoke, you talked about what you would hope to do in the white house. have you given more thought to that? >> well, my passion is the same, helping children and helping women. and also i see now in the 21st century, the social media, it's very damaging for the children. we need to guide them and teach them about social media, because i see a lot of negativity on it. and we need to help them. >> there's a lot of bullying that goes on, obviously gee, a lot of bullying. >> trevor: that's a smart move by melania trump, pledging to fight online bullying. you realize she can cut it in half just by taking her husband's phone away. nicely played, melania, nicely played. is she going to say that with a straight face? has she seen donald trump's
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tweetses. it would be like if ted cruz's wife started a campaign toned creepy smiles. you have to start at home is what i'm saying. i'm not the only one who is sympathizing with melania. in fact, our own desi lydic had the chance to sit down with melania yesterday as well and she used the opportunity to reach out. ( whispering ) listen, i can help you escape. i have a car outside. >> i'm doing great. >> we don't have time for games i put my pussy on the line tow help you. don't want to be free. >> i never thought about that. >> think about it now. this is your chance. >> why now? after so many years, why three weeks before the election? >> because she's distracted. he won't even know you're gone for, like, a month. it's perfect. okay, look, just stare at me and blink if you want my help. another blink again. one more time. ( laughter ) and again. all right, let's do this. you know how to repel, right?
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slow down, melania! >> i'm free! i'm free! >> trevor: we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) were the judges right in saying we're the best tasting light beer? you be the judge. spelled different because it's brewed different. fortified.tored. replenished. emerge everyday with emergen-c packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. why not feel this good everyday? emerge and see.
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( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: back back to the "daily show." now, if you've been watching the news between 3:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m., you probably noticed they finally get around to covering the story about wikileaks, by which i mean the dumping document site. not wikileaks the hawaiian diaper. founder julian assange vowed to bring can hillary clinton down by exposing every e-mail she and
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everyone she knows has ever written. >> in one e-mail, donna brazile, who was then of cnn, and now the acting democratic national committee chair, is shown to have e-mailed the clinton staff ahead of a cnn debate a question that she says she saw beforehand. the title of that very e-mail was, "from time to time, i get the questions in advance." >> trevor: oh, no. i'm so disappointed in you, girl. how you going to send a secret email and give it all away in the subject line. you want to keep it on the down low. you've got to write something mow one wants to open like, "come to my improv show." you put all there. and by the way, can we talk about this real quick. what the ( bleep ), cnn? am i the only one who thinks it's inappropriate that news networks hire people from the campaigns to give political commentary? what do you think is going to happen? obviously they're going to say and do things they shouldn't be doing. it's like bees hiring winnie the
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pooh to consult on security issues. it's going to end badly. it's disturbing to find out clinton campaign may have had access to town hall questions before the event but be careful, because when you dig further into these hillary e-mails, you may find something that bore you. >> among the hacked e-mails from clinton's campaign manager john podesta, his secret for remarkable risotto. "why do i use one-quarter or one-half cup of stock at a time?" ppodesta replied-- "the slower add and stirring gives the risotto the creamy consistency." >> trevor: that is disgusting! that is disgusting. ( laughter ) young people may not understand this, but you realize, that recipes are basically old people's versions of dick pics. that's all they do with each other. they phone each other like,"hey, ethel? you up?" "yeah." "you have any good ratatwohey
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recipes?" "oh, you nasty." here's the big story in all of this. you remember hillary's paid speeches? you remember this, yeah, the speeches we wanted to find out about, the ones she gave goldman sachs and others millions of dollars? they've also been leaked. >> hillary clinton's wall street speeches finally exposed, wikileaks giving us an inside look at what she said. >> trevor: finally! after all that waiting we knot to look inside what hillary said to the big banks and it turns out the worst thing she said is she agreed with abe lincoln to get things done in government, politicians should have both a public and private position. that's it. that's all she said. which i can relate to, to be honest, because my public position is missionary. my private position is crying in a corner because alone. another daring parent of her speech was when she said as a multi-millionaire she felt like she was out of touch with the
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common people. and the bankers said,"there are people poorer than you." but most embarrassing thing hillary said in my opinion is my dream is-- and i spoke-- "a hemispheric common market with open trade and open borders." really, hillary? that's your dream. that is your dream? dreams are supposed to be flying and unicorns. that's your dream? i just imagine her in bed with bill where she's like, "bill, i just had the best dream. we have a hemispheric common market with open borders. what did you dream about?" and bill's like, "ah, same thing." ( laughter ) ( applause ) "same thing." ( applause ) look, look, i'm not saying hillary doesn't give off some shady ( bleep ). she's a politician, a very good politician. but we have to be honest at some point and admit donald trump and hillary are held to different standards. trump is running a cockfight
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ring in the wood, and yet everyone is upset because they found out hillary is the naughtiestid at chess camp. if we can dig into every e-mail you ever sent and the worst thing we can find is your dreams are basically a pbs documentary and the guy hillary is running against make us cringe every day with things he says in public, in public. i'm just saying, if trump grabs pussy in public, then what are his dreams like? ( laughter ) ( applause ) we'll be right back. i would like three weeks vacation.
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two is standard. i'm not standard. three weeks. ok.
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brewed generation after generation... this beer is fiercely loyal. only with moravian barley. coors banquet. that's how it's done. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: welcome back to the "daily show." my guest tonight stars in the new film "american pastoral." >> what we're saying you're here to keep the peace.
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that means protecting the people and the property of this neighborhood. >> what i'm saying is to think, think before you start shooting at somebody's window. these aren't snipers. these are people, good people, who live around here. people just like your own mothers and fathers. that's who lives up there. now, this is their home. and they've got to live here long after you're gone. this is their home. not yours. >> trevor: please welcome uzo aduba. ( cheers and applause ) >> here we are. >> trevor: welcome. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: welcome to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: i am such a big fan of yourself. i don't think you understand.
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i think everyone here is as well. wow, wow. ( applause ) i mean, even from the tiny clip you see in this movie, yourasmances-- like, do people sometimes forget to yell, "cut?" i feel like the director sometimes just watche watches ad goes,"no, just go." this is a beautiful story. and if you wouldn't mind telling us a bit about your character. you play a fantastic character who is teaming up with, you know, a white man in a time in america when that was not a normal thing to do. why did you choose the role in what is it dthis role mean to you? and what did the story mean to you? >> oh, my gosh, well, i chose the role because i've always wanted to tell stories they call them the missing, i people i feel are missing when we see stories, even if it's something we have seen before, maybe it's told had a different way. and i hadn't seen a character yet from that time who i felt was so self-possessed. she was strong, and she wasn't afraid to speak her opinion or
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use her voice, and that's why i wanted to do it. and ewan mcgregor, our director-- he directing this movie as well as star are in it. and he's amazing, you guys, absolutely amaze displg this was his first time directing. >> this was his first time. and he did it exquisitely. it's such a beautiful piece to be a part of i'm forever grateful. >> trevor: i think they are going to be forever grateful to you because are you just on the rise. i was shocked to find out that when you auditioned for "orange is the new black," on the day you auditioned, huplanned to quitathing. >> i had quit that day. >> trevor: why? >> because i had spent some time, you know, that summer, evidence auditioning for so many jobs, and i just felt like i was going, "no, no. mmm, no." and i was getting fatigued by it all. and i just thought maybe this isn't for me. maybe i'm tying on make
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something happen that isn't for me. so i got home and had quit and was done, and 45 minutes later, i got a phone call saying, "remember that audition you went on for 'orange is the new black'?" and i said, "yeah." and they said, "you got it." and that was that. >> trevor: amazing. i mean, if you look at what that show has done, just in terms of-- you know, people talk about diversity in a way that makes it seem like it's a charity of sorts. but that show used it in a positive and powerful way because it's an advantage. "orange is the new black" has characters and faces and ages of people we've never seen before on television. looking at your character, looking at crazy eyes, as she's affectionately known in the prison it is an interesting journey we have been who her. when you started we had no empathy. oh, she's crazy. and then it was no she has mental health issues and she's
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struggling and you used your, and i your platform to talk about that. >> i think it's important to talk about that. i think that started first from our show creator who is, just as you said, she is so interested in telling the stories we don't see typically told. and those people exist. all these shades of people exist, including suzanne crazy eyes warren. she has a story and is really interested in nurturing that gently and honestly, and that's-- that's what i'm interested in, as far as that subject matter. i think we're finally-- i'm excited by the fact that we're finally starting to reach a point where that's a conversation people are having and it's being had without as mucmuch stigma or generalizatios i think in the past. and i hope it continues, and i hope we can advance on that conversation as authentically and thoroughly as we can. >> trevor: before we go, i can ask you for one favor? you can teach me how to do suzanne's eyes? >> oh,. >> trevor: i try all the time.
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i need your help. how cow get the eyes. >> okay, this is genuinelily how i think about it. okay, if you think about something that you love-- do you have that? >> trevor: okay, yes. >> okay, now, imagine, like, a fire in your stomach. it's really low. and start turning it up, warming it up. it's really thrishes. ( laughter ) you might even get it. it might even come to you later tonight. get that thing in the morning, it's here. it's knocking on the door. get over the top! keep it contained! come on, fire, fire, fire, fire! you're getting it! you're getting it, trevor! ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: i did! diit! i'm going to be in "orange is the new black"! #k pass opens in l.a., new york, and select cities friday october 21. "orange is the new black" is currently available on netflix. uzo aduba, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) bud light says raise one to right now.
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heineken light makes it ok to flip another no no no,t. you never flip another man's meat. award-winning heineken light is the best light beer you've ever tasted. that's true. can i have one? can i flip your meat? no. suit yourself. these new chipotle thins are amazing.onfetti popper you got that right. sfx: the thud of a rubber ball hitting dad mmmm. mmmm. guys! we should do this again next weekend. visit and you could win unreal nfl experiences. ( cheers and applause ). >> trevor: that's our show for
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tonight. stay tuned for "@midnight" coming up next. here it is, your moment of zen. >> forget the press. read the internet. study other things. don't go for the mainstream media. most of them, good news, fortunately, most of them won't be around very much longer, myal captioned by media access group at wgbh >> chris: it's 29 minutes until midnight and the day resets and we announce a winner. here's the latest on what's tearing america apart in the form of shareable content. i'm chris hardwick, this is "@midnight." billy bush has been fired from "the today show." america's lock national nightmare. billy bush has been fired from "the today show." donald trump's "grab 'em by the pussy" locker room talk on a bus got billy fired from his. $3 million a year dream job. listen, where is the today show going do find another white guy with hair? i don't know what they are going to


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