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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  May 12, 2017 1:40am-2:11am PDT

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xfinity x1 gives you exclusive access to the best of the billboard music awards just by using your voice. the billboard music awards. sunday, may 21st eight seven central only on abc. >> chris: welcome back to @midnight. it's time for for the win. i am going to wipe your scores clean. wipe, wipe, wipe. i will read your answers aloud and you the audience will decide the winner. remember, you're also playing for your tag team partner at home. your new best friend. before the break i asked you to come up with a dvr listing for a tv show that facebook would likely produce. let's see what you came up with: first one ... relatively racist starring your extended family and a couple childhood friends from new jersey. pg-13. [cheers and applause] or ... uggh, this bitch. i hate her stupid kid pictures but they're my nieces. number two is the winner. who is number two? dulce sloan has conquered the
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internet. congratulations. [cheers and applause] we'll see you all tomorrow night when our guests will be michael starr, lexxi foxx and stix zadinia. until then, keep the game going on twitter by tweeting us @midnight with your #newnbateams and become tomorrow's tweet of the day. i'm @hardwick on the tweets and instagrams. be nice to each other. well played. [cheers and applause] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thanks for tuning in! i'm trevor noah. tonight one to have the original
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kings of comedy, comedian d.l. hughley is here! ( cheers and applause ) so excited for that. obviously, we'll talk more about trump and comey. before we begin, exciting news out of south korea. this week they elected their new president moon jae-in. but what's more exciting is how south korean tv showed which candidate was winning. ♪ all right, south korea, you win! k. pop, gangnam style! this is the greatest. from now on every major government announcement has to be revealed this way to connect with millennials. if president trump says he's taking america into another war, the very least he can do is twirk when he's giving the news. that's right, yeah, yeah. uh-huh, that's right.
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so much winning, so much drinking. ( laughter ) i like how that video bothers some people more than another war. but let's move on to someone not dabbing much lately. former f.b.i. director and current linkedin power using justicuse jamescomey whose contg was justified according to them. >> the rank and file and president lost confidence in comey. >> trevor: that's a good reason, if agents in the f.b.i. don't respect the director of the f.b.i., then he can't be effective. it's the reason they had to kill mmufasa. it's, like, yo, man, these hyenas are laughing at you, you gots to go! ( laughter ) james comey had been scheduled to testify in congress today but because he's gone the job fell
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to f.b.i. associate director andrew mccabe. this is where trump may have realized he made the classic mistake. he shot the sheriff but he did not shoot the deputy. ( laughter ) >> is it accurate the rank and file no longer supported director comey? >> no, sir, that is not accurate. i hold director comey in the absolutely highest regard. i have the highest respect for his considerable b abilities and his integrity, and it has been the greatest privilege and honor of my professional life to work with him. i can tell you, also, that director comey enjoyed broad support within the f.b.i. and still does to this day. >> trevor: wow, broad support. i don't think i've ever liked any co-worker as much as that guy likes comey. hell, i don't even think my mom likes me as much nat guy liked comey. my mother would give me support but not "broad support." ( laughter ) the f.b.i. loved comey so much
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they have been flying their flag at half mast. yeah. also because james comey was the only one tall enough to put it at the top. that's part of the reason. ( laughter ) the explanation they had to fire james comey because he lacked f.b.i. support, that's nonsense. but like a bull, the white house produces a lot of (bleep). >> the white house continues to change the narrative on how the president reached his decision. initially touting deputy attorney general rod rosenstein's letter. >> it's real simple here, the deputy attorney general made a very strong recommendation, the president followed it, and he made a quick and decisive action to fire james comey. >> i don't think there was ever an attempt to pin the decision on the deputy attorney general. >> trevor: it's 2017. why do people lie like cameras are not a thing? because we saw you. you just tried to pin it on deputy attorney general rod
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rosenstein. why was this so complicated? was comey fired because to have the deputy attorney general's letter or not? i wish there was some blabber mouth in the white house that wasn't briefed on the lie they were supposed to tell. >> i just completed an exclusive white house interview with president trump, where he offered an explanation of his firing of james comby. >> look, he's a show boat, a grand standard -- stander, the f.b.i. has been in turmoil, everybody knows that. what i did is i was going to fire comby, my decision. >> you made the decision before they -- >> i was going to fire comey. there's no good time to do it, by the way. >> because in your letter you said i accepted their recommendation. you already made the decision. >> i was going to fire him regardless to have the recommendation. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, whoa! so you were going to fire comey no matter what the recommendation was? trump's basically the guy who
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makes all the complicated specials again and goes thank you for your little show, i'll have a steak dumped in ketchup if you're searching for clarity this is not the administration for you. all of this is happening because of the trump campaign, firings, hearings, recusals, e-mails and botched recipes, all because of russia. so if you were donald trump right now, what's the one thing you would stay away from? oh, a woman over 40. ( laughter ) but also -- russia. more specifically the russian ambassador. and not just any ambassador. sergei kislyak, the specific guy
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who got michael flynn fired and made jeff sessions have to recuse himself from the russian investigation. if there's one person you don't want any more ties to, it's this guy. he is the kiss of death. as we all know, no one tells donald trump who he can kiss. >> the president welcomed russian officials into the oval office today. >> less than 24 hours after the firing of james comey, the man leading the investigation into russian meddling, president trump welcomed russia's ambassador and foreign minister to the white house. >> the president meeting with the russian foreign minister and smiling in the office with russian ambassador sergei kislyak. >> you brought russians into the oval office? although trump is so oblivious,s
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is shady. >> the meeting with with the russian diplomats had been arranged at the request of vladimir putin. >> you know what? it's starting to feel less like putin is black mailing trump. you must only speak in bing bing bong. ( laughter ) donald trump may be crazy but turns out he's not stupid. he knew this would look bad so he didn't allow any american journalists into the room. no photos, no documentation, no picks. so it didn't happen. right? there's just one little problem. >> american media was not allowed inside. russian media was. >> these photographs come courtesy of the russian foreign ministery press office and the
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russian state-run news agency cast, they were allowed into the oval office. >> they are furious. they said they tricked us. the problem with the russians someone told jim acosta is they lied. >> trevor: wow! the russians lied?! oh... bless your soul, trump! i couldn't believe how innocent trump's people are. the russians lied to us! when has that ever happened before! they said they wouldn't take the pictures but they did! how are you shocked that they lied? how? was trump standing there, sergei, why did you release those pictures? oh, i thought that was one of your normal fingers.
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russia is owning donald trump so hard right now it's embarrassing. it's like watching the harlem globetrotters. did you have to dunk on him and pull his pants down, man? and look at trump's a smile. really? your happiest moment in the white house is when the russians come? i mean, i guess i shouldn't be shocked. i would be happy if my boss came to visit me at work. i mean, who is this person? i don't want to hear another word about how it was only the d.n.c. got hacked because team trump is so smart and secure because russia proved if they want to hack and leak dirt on trump, they can do it face to face without him noticing. luckily even with the white house in chaos and comey gone, the russian investigation still has plenty of competent people who are on the case. >> special agents wood and lydic reached a break through in their investigation. >> oh, my god, i used to think what trump did made no sense but
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now it's all just so clear. i can't believe it. >> well, desi, sometimes you have to believe the unbelievable. to find the truth. >> yeah, i thought you were crazy. >> i thought i was crazy. >> walk me through it again. >> russia -- >> uh-huh, uh-huh. >> -- trump. >> oh, my god. oh! >> ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong... >> trevor: we'll be right back. ( cheers and mmm. let's get you cleaned up, before mom gets home. that'll work. dentastix cleans... so you can get closer. um, i can't have happen what happened (♪)t time...
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do it in seconds. because we should fit into your life, not the other way around. go to >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! ( cheers and applause ) so trump used to praise james comey for the way he investigated hillary. this week he fired him for it. everyone is wondering why that happened. >> back at the end of october, this president was applauding the f.b.i. director when he reopened the investigation into hillary clinton's e-mails, so he seemed quite happy with him at that point. what changed? >> well, i think the president's position, one, he was a candidate for president, not the president. those are two very different things. >> as a candidate, donald trump was praising it from the campaign trail. >> i think you're looking at the wrong set of facts here. in other words, you're going back to the campaign. this man is the president of the united states. he acted decisively today. >> trevor: you're looking at
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the wrong set of facts? ( laughter ) there are only facts. what does that mean? and what a weird explanation. there is capt. trump and president trump -- candidate trump and president trump. what he said as candidate trump doesn't count. didn't people vote for candidate trump because they wanted that guy to be president trump? that's like saying, no, when i promised to be faithful, that was wedding steve. i'm husband steve now. you can't trust what wedding steve said. he was just looking to smash. ( laughter ) this isn't the first time trump pulled the multiple personality thing. remember the pussy grabbing leak? >> it's locker room tock. >> he was in private with another guy doing what guys do. >> everyone knows trump likes women and uses this kind of talk. >> locker room talk. >> guy talk. >> bad boy talk. >> trevor: no, it's not. a bad boy is someone who wears a
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leather jacket to prom. that's a bad boy. this is the guy who got suspended for grabbing the prom queen's downstairs crown. there's a difference. but fine, let's go with that. pussy grab greatgate didn't counted because it was locker room trump. what about when he trolls the nation on twitter? >> what goes on on twitter is not the campaign message. >> who's to say he can't spend five minutes on a tweet and making a comment. >> he has a right to do it, no one's saying that. but as my president -- >> then focus on what he did this week as your president-elect. >> trevor: so basically twitter doesn't count either. that's also not trump. i'm glad the rest of the world's dictators haven't learned trump's tricks. edie amin would be like, no, no, that didn't count, no, no!
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one trump was too many. now i can't keep track of them. how are we supposed to tell all the different trumps apart? >> i think you're looking at different positions. the president was wearing a different hat at that time. he was a candidate, not the president. those circumstances certainly change when you become the president. >> trevor: wait, did you hear that? >> the president was wearing a different hat at that time. >> trevor: no, no, he wasn't wearing a hat. that's the problem. yeah, that's the problem. the only hat we've seen him in is the one he's wearing when he's anti-immigrant trump. that the the hat we know and i guess that's what we have to do, we have to get trump more hats. yeah, then we'll know which trump we're dealing with. like there could be a hat for lying about his taxes trump. a hat for working for russia trump. and there could be one for when he's reggae trump -- yeah, man, i'm bringing rapists and the best drugs, yeah, yeah -- build
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the wall, build the wall! ( applause ) the good news is, now we know that anytime trump does something bad, it's not the real trump, it's one of the other trumps. the bad news saul of those guys get to be president. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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♪ get ugly. get ugly. ♪ burn it up, work it out. ♪ damn, you look like dynamite. ♪ ♪ get ugly. get ugly. ♪ u.g.l.y. you ain't got no alibi. ♪ propel. the only water with enough electrolytes to put back what you lose in sweat. ♪ drink it up, drink it up, baby! ♪ >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a comedian and host to have the nationally syndicated radio show the "the dl hughley show." please welcome d.l. hughley! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> hello, trevor. man, you got all the heat out here. it's cold. how much extra for heat in the dressing room? ( laughter ) >> trevor: i'm trying to keep you fresh, man. >> i see. >> trevor: thank you for being on the show. let's get straight into it. i've watched your comedy almost all of my life, and i don't know
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if you've noticed this, but it feels like you've become more political and now with trump it feels like you have reached peak political. >> i think it's hard not to be funny when -- like if we were going to hire, like, a reality star for a president, it shouldn't have been the dude from "apprentice," it should have been from "are you smarter than a fifth grader." you see these things going on. it's, like, the dude from "the apprentice" really running america. then i was watching the healthcare debates. if you have a pre-existing condition like type two diabetes and still voted for trump, that means you hated black people more than you like your feet. ( laughter ) ( applause ) and good luck at those make america great rallies hopping on one leg. ( applause ) you get the good parking space, clem! >> trevor: wow, you taking it there.
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you've never been one to mince words especially around people who support donald trump. >> i think there are several articles. we thought initially people tried to say it was about economics, there were a lot of poor white people who wanted jobs. if you're broke and white in america, you wasted a 400-year head start, literally. if you're broke and white in america you're a black dude with no training is what you are. i would rather people tell me the truth. we felt something was slipping away from us and we voted for a dude that would say some of the things we couldn't. >> trevor: yeah, because a fascinating study by "the atlantic" came out and people said they felt like they were losing the country, the country wasn't familiar to them. they said specifically over the past three, five, maybe eight years, they didn't feel comfortable -- >> as opposed to the last 400.
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( laughter ) but i just think you want to kick out all the muslims which is silly to me because one man's terrorist is another man's cardiologist. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: you're enjoying this too much, man. >> you know, then, you know, like, we're, like, worried about i.s.i.s., but the most dangerous thing in america is americans. 300 americans shot by other americans every day. 100,000 americans killed by other americans, more died than all the other wars we've fought so i.s.i.s. doesn't have a damn thing on us-is. ( applause ) >> trevor: you're on the road, have you noticed a shift in your audiences in terms of how they feel about the politics? have you noticed a shift in the people staying away from
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politics or getting it into more? do you feel that in your audience? >> i don't do requests. i do, this is what we're serving today. ( laughter ) but i think there is a natural inclination for people having honest discourse. there are things that amaze me every day and i think you're entitled to have a divergent opinion and you don't have to ask to express it. it's disingenuous if you do. there are things i see that make me laugh so much. the fact now that you literally have a guy that can fire the guy who could get him in trouble. if i could fire the policeman coming to give me a ticket -- ( laughter ) ( applause ) i don't like your attitude! you're out of here! >> trevor: the tour you're embarking on now is exciting, especially if you're a fan of comedy.
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it's your self, i.d.e griffin, cedric the entertainer, george lopez. you guys are on the get down tour and that must be exciting. >> it's so diverse because it's black people and the mexican guy trump is going to kick out before the end of the tour. but -- and charlie murphy was on it before we lost him. i think it's guys that all come together for this thing that we love and it's different points of view but cats that really love what they do and have a tremendous respect for the art form because i think it's the last time you ever hear truth anymore is from a comedic standpoint. i think you do an exceptional job mixing irony, truth and logic. >> thanks for being on the show. >> thank you, thank you. for dates. d.l. hughley. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪
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