tv The Daily Show Comedy Central July 19, 2017 1:40am-2:10am PDT
i t - we did it! - through the power of christ, we have saved this child. tw - well, butters, i guess we might as well go home.e looks like gon're never gonna change. - no, i like being bi-curious. like be wewell, you know something? so do i. [laughing] - wait, now i am confused.m conu - and this photograph i took of a sunseth near the power plant.the w note how the contrasting images make a statement about our impact on the earth,. which brings us to my last picture.rings u [clearing throat] this picture you may find som somewhat controversial. [all gasping] - ew! - dude. this is shot at a 5.6 aperture using a low-light filter. you can see the grain from the high-speed film.frt m. there's sort of a penis in my mouth right here,i and the low depth of field keeps the background soft.ps thb - eric, what the hell is this?he hell - what this is is a statement against the war in iraq.emet
it's wrong that we still have our troops there. r it's wrong! it's wrong that we still have our troops there. r and what i'm saying is that-- - um, eric cartman, we got an emergency message from your mother. "kyle didn't have it after all. she said you'd know what what means, m'kay? - lame.lame. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! thank you so much for tune tuni.
our guest tonight producer of the hit show "power" 50 cent is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) i am so glad we could get 50 tonight because last night's senate republicans could not. >> overnight the plan to replace obamacare falling short. >> republican lawmakers vowed to overturn obamacare but this morning the latest plan has come to a stretching halt. >> trevor: no! trumpcare no more! now i have no idea how i'm going to die! i don't know why we're surprised. the words trump and care were never destined to be together. last night the senate plan collapsed and likely for republicans they had genius
mitch mcconnell in their corner. >> the senate plan b for trumpcare seemed dead, and plan c was barely introduced before slain as well. senate leader backing at mitch mcconnell's' proposal to ditch obamacare and going outsight to repeal without replacement. at least three republican senators say they will not support that option. >> trevor: all the senate ladies, all the senate ladies, not for the plan, no no no, no no no, no no no,. ♪ yeah! republicans have been saying forever that obamacare is going to fail. it's in a death spiral! but after years of them trying to kill it, it is somehow the only thing that's still around. all of their healthcare plans collapsed immediately. they're, like, obamacare is dead. check out our plan. oh, my god -- plan? ( laughter ) wake up, plan. wake up! oh, no, our plan won't wake up!
is there a-ok in the house? ( laughter ) if you're a republican, it actually reminds me of something a wise man said. >> no one knew healthcare could be so complicated. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: out of the mouth of babes. but the president was at least partly right because it's true. no one knew how complicated health care could be, once donald trump got involved because, i don't know if you remember, but before he stepped in, republicans had a strategy for destroying obamacare. >> the new strategy is gaining steam on capitol hill that would quickly repeal most of president obama's affordable care act but delay the effects for up to two years. >> trevor: that was the original plan. they'd take it apart but slowly over time. their plan was basically to
treat healthcare like jenga, gradually dismantle it piece by piece so when it finally collapsed, it would have been someone else's problem. then donald trump came along and he's, like, oh, boy! jenga bowling! >> on prodding of president trump, republicans decide not to repeal and worry about replace later but do it in one bucket. >> it will be repeal and replace. it will be essentially simultaneously. it will be various segments, you understand, but will most likely be on the same day and week, could be the same hour. we're going to do repeal and replace. in fact, it's just happening right now. it just happened. just think of it like this, donald trump is basically an unlikable baby boots. the plan is repeal and no
replace. he's, like, replace. no, no, no, donald. repeal -- replace. no, no! you're not listening. relegal -- repeal -- and replace! no! there is a reason the republicans suffered failure and that reason lives in the white house. while the g.o.p.'s health care dreams were crumbling, trump us with hosting a play party at the white house celebrating something called "made in america week" where the president checked out guitars, wrestled with baseball bats and his favorite activity fake driving a truck. ( laughter ) yeah, and everyone was, like, the fire is behind you in the white house! ( laughter ) it's not like the event was designed to get donald trump take up any other job -- a
baseball player? fireman? we'll give you anything. ( laughter ) at one point he got an an applae just for putting on a hat. ( applause ) yeah, yeah! i told you he would get something right eventually! yeah! that's where we are. and that's how the republican healthcare plan came and went. with them failing to get their votes and the president playing pretend in the white house. so the truth is for the republicans, it's not looking good. it's july, their healthcare plan is officially dead, they have no infrastructure bill, and they're months behind on tax reform. at some point, they have to admit that their world is burning down. fortunately for the republicans, they have a fireman on their team. we'll be right back. choo-choo! ( cheers and applause ) for more taste,
speak now. (coughs) so sorry. oh no... it's just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be live streaming the wedding and he's not getting any service. i missed, like, the whole thing. what? and i just got an unlimited plan. it's the right plan, wrong network. you see, verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in america. it's built to work better in cities. tell you what, just use mine. thanks. no problem. all right, let's go live. say hi to everybody who wasn't invited! (vo) when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. plus, get the pixel, by google with no trade-in required. it's about time they gave left and right twix® their own packs. they got about as much in common as you, a mortician, and me, an undertaker. (chuckling) or you, a janitor, and me, a custodian. (laughing) or you, a ghost, and me, a spirit. (laughing) new left and right twix® packs. it's time to deside.
officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. woo hoo! over you to you tom! things have gone totally around the bend. c'mmon boys! rarin' to go! because of new doritos mix, there is boldness everywhere. [robotic voice: doritos!] i quit! has the world gone completely bold? new doritos mix. four snacks in one.
yogig-speed internet.me? you know what's not awesome? when only certain people can get it. let's fix that. let's give this guy gig- really? and these kids. and these guys. him. ah. oh hello- that lady. these houses! yes, yes and yes. and don't forget about them. uh huh. sure. still yes! you can get it too. welcome to the party. introducing gig-speed internet from xfinity. finally, gig for your neighborhood too. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! even though this is made in america week, let's turn to something that wasn't made in america. donald trump's presidency ( laughter ) because the scandal over donald trump, jr.'s russian collusion meeting is not going away. in fact, it's getting a little more crowded. >> still more breaking news this morning. this time on the meeting between donald trump, jr. and that russian lawyer and a number of other folks.
>> cnn confirmed at least eight people were present. >> donald trump, jr., jared kushner in for a while, paul manafort, natalia veselnitskaya who was the russian attorney, rob goldstone, the promoter, the american lobbyist here in d.c. that leaves only one name to fill in the blank. >> trevor: how many people can fit into one of these rooms? i don't know if special councill robert mueller can bring these down, but the fire marshall could. can't have this many people in here! get out, get out. what is your name? what kind of name is that? a scrabble piece turned alive? what's that? ( laughter ) don, jr. has powerful allies. his father is actually president of the united states. yeah, i know, weird coincidence.
and don, sr. has his boy's back. >> my son is a wonderful young man. he took a meeting with a russian lawyer, not a government lawyer, but a russian lawyer. i do think this, i think from a practical standpoint, most people would have taken that meeting. it's called opposition research or even research into your opponent. >> trevor: you know, we always know when trump learns something new, he explains it to us like we didn't know. it's op -- opposition research, it's called. yeah, he always thinks he's a little smarter than everyone else. a lot of people don't know this, but that's where the deer cross, dear deer crossing. ( laughter ) and can we stop calling don, jr. a young man? by the time he goes into prison,
he will be in his 40s. maybe that's a scam to get him into juvy, he's a young man. ( laughter ) and the argument most people would have taken the meeting to collude with foreign power is basically locker room talk 2.0. everybody does that. who hasn't been in a locker room with their russian friends colluding about grabbing pussy? everybody does it! ( laughter ) i'm sorry, but everybody does sit a terrible excuse, and the proof it's terrible is that it was endorsed by falcons commentator janine pirro. >> someone ran for office five times, if the devil called me and said he wouldn't to set up a meeting to give me opposition on my opponent, i would be on the first train to he'll -- trolley to hell to get it. >> trevor: a trolley to hell?
i thought you could on the get there on spirit airlines! oh! ( laughter ) trolleys are whimsical things. they don't go through hell, they go through fairytale neighborhoods like mr. rogers neighborhood or san francisco. ( laughter ) can we pause and realize how creative this conversation has become? in 2017, a conservative commentator on the jesus white network is saying not only is working with satan an option, it's a no-brainer. straight-faced, i work with satan, yeah! meanwhile, satan is probably going, i wouldn't deal with you, you don't stick to your principles, i don't know who you guys are! ( laughter ) you can't say everyone does it because everyone doesn't. the example democratic and republican politicians are alike, of course they said they wouldn't have taken that meeting to get elicit information.
back in the 2000 presidential campaign, al gore received a shady package with a video of george w. bush's debate prep. instead of using it, he gave it to the f.b.i. and asked the f.b.i. to please repsych the tape when they were done with it because that's how he rolls. ( laughter ) that excuse for don, jr. is bull (bleep). don't worry, conservatives have more. >> taking a meeting because it was embarrassing, a bait and switch, nothing productive came from it, but was it illegal to take the meeting, absolutely not. >> i think the democrats are trying to criminalize winning and the only thing trump is guilty of is beating hillary. >> maybe russians were colluding with hillary clinton to get information on donald trump. >> i wonder why the secret service allowed these people in. the president has secret service protection at that point. >> trevor: wait, you're blaming the secret service for not protecting donald trump, jr.
from himself? that's not how it works. secret service are there to shield you from physical attacks, not your own bad decisions. if don, jr. is about to have unprotected sex with a stranger, the secret service just won't jump in front of him and say, no! don't! aaahhh! aaahhh! not how it works. not how it works. look. ( laughter ) s will no telling how badly don, jr. damaged his father's presidency with this meeting, but we're really seeing surprising consequences for ordinary americans, people asking hurt. in fact, we at "the daily show" have a new correspondent, named michael kosta, and he shared a personal heart-wrenching story with us. ♪ >> it's always been a burden my whole life, a shadow looming
over me. my name is michael kosta and i kind of look like donald trump, jr. my wreath handsomeness, my quick hair. people won't talk to me. i can't catch cabs. makes me feel sad inside of my body. trump people try to violently chest bump me. i didn't ask for that. but the worst part, i can't even walk around without random russians tried collude with me. >> here's the secret dossier we spoke of. >> i'm not don, jr. exactly. i'm not don, jr. know. 'm not don don, jr. does anybody (bleep) know who i am? >> so, please, don't call me dumb don or jackass, jr. my name is michael --
>> don, jr.! donald, jr.! >> roy, it's michael. oh, my bad, man. you people all look the same. ( laughter ) >> trevor: we live and we learn. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ it's go time at dunkin' with two egg and cheese wake-up wraps for $2. enjoy two freshly made oven-toasted wraps and keep on running all day long. america runs on dunkin'. and keep on running all day long. i'm not the type to smushy garbages... you know what? i'm going for it. you are completely and utterly... awesome... i'm glad you showed up. in my life! i think i'm about to cry... you better not. every single time i... get down! you always have... my back! my back! it's really hard to describe. it's like... all these tiny little... things? yes. yes. things! are actually... friendship. ♪
what's going on here? um...i'm babysitting. that'll be $50 bucks. you said $30. yeah, well it was $30 before my fees, like the pizza-ordering fee and the dog-sitting fee... and the rummage through your closet fee. who is she, verizon? are those my heels? yeah! yeah, we're the same size...in shoes. with t-mobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just $40 bucks each.
the price we say is the price you pay. no, please, please, oh! ♪ (shrieks in terror) (heavy breathing and snorting) no, no. the running of the bulldogs? surprising. what's not surprising? how much money aleia saved by switching to geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. this is the brand new samsung galaxy s8.guys? first thing you need to discuss is that display. the s8 plus has a higher resolution.
it is just... it's beautiful. one of the best cameras you can put in your pocket again this year. we have gorilla glass 5 front and back. ip68 water and dust resistant. everything out the way... save that s8. ah, i love this phone! i am craving a dr pepper. woo! ♪ craverider! he's really good at delivering dr pepper ♪ ♪ and nothing ever stops him. sorry, guys, i don't do wolves. but i left you some dr pepper. the one you crave. here ya go. awesome, thank you. thank you. that's... not your car. your car's ready! wrong car... this is not your car? i would love to take it, but no. oh, i'm so sorry about that. you guys wanna check it out? it's someone else's car... this is beautiful. what is this? it's the all-new chevy equinox. this feels like a luxury suv. i love this little 360, how do they even do that? i made a bad decision on my last car purchase. well, your car's here. bummer... bummer.
wah-wah. i'm ready for an upgrade. (laughter) ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! my guest tonight is an award-winning rapper, entrepreneur, producer and actor who can be seen in the starz show "power"." what's going down? >> i'm going to tell you this much, i don't know how you do it, just get it done. ( rap music ) >> he's in the car. it's time for you to do it.
>> trevor: please welcome curtis "50 cent" jackson! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ 50, aka ferrari. i feel like i could do your whole interview spitting your rhymes at you. have a baby by me baby! ( laughter ) welcome to the show. >> i'm excited to be here. >> trevor: it's really exciting to have you not just because you are a legend in hip-hop, somebody who's done amazing things with the music business but because of everything you're doing now, it's 50 cent music producer, music mogul, 50 cent owner of music label, 50 cent vitamin water deal, 50 cent television
producer. did you ever see yourself doing all this? >> no, i evolved as a person over time. in 2003 if you asked me to make one wish, i would have just wished my music would be a success. >> trevor: oh, wow. i learned about myself during that time period that if you ask me to make a wish, i'm just going to wish for more wishes. >> trevor: i don't know if you're allowed to do that. >> yes, you can. you have one wish. well, i need two wishes. >> trevor: you can't do that. yes, you can, one wish, and then you ask for more. >> trevor: you seem like you're living the life of someone who had a genie and you keep getting the wishes. >> i can't complain at all. my music career, my first album is the largest debuting hip album. the first tv show is the second largest television shown premium cable only behind "game of
thrones." >> trevor: are you serious? yeah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: i mean, i knew that you have, like, 8 million people watching but i didn't know you're basically up against "game of thrones." you don't have dragons. it's not easy. >> yeah, but everybody is not into watching dragons. what about today, man? what's happening today? not like when the dragons were running around. ( laughter ) i'll be honest, i like game "gaf thrones." ( laughter ) >> trevor: if you just came on to "game of thrones," they should have you on as a cameo appearance. >> i'll go anywhere. i'll go to the news. ( cheers and applause ) i'll pop up and then i'll feel like i've arrived. >> trevor: you are. when you started off with "power," it was an meet smash hit. you went with premium cable and that's a decision not many
people make. why did you go for a network that maybe not everyone could watch but everyone started watching. >> starz network, we pitched it to them. our culture is becoming more and more graphic. you can see it in the music. when the r&b singers have more tattoos than the rap artists, you know it's getting into a different area, it's changing c. r&b required buttons, you needed a button on your shirt or your jacket or something. there was love in the music. now it's, like, yo -- i ain't gonna say it because we're on tv. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you can say it. we'll bleep it but you can say it. ( laughter ) when you look at the stories you're telling, one of the thing that's impressive about "power" is the authenticity of the
story. it doesn't particularly glover drug dealing or the business but it talks about the hustle. in many ways, it could be a story on wall street. it's just dealing with a different underworld. >> right, right. >> trevor: when you look at the story and try to create it, are you ever conscious of what you're glorifying? if you look how black people and culture is perceived in america, are you worried about making sure there is balance in this? how do you tell that story? >> i'm as honest as possible. i tell the story. people identify with the characters. i think that develops a passion for the story when everybody's watching it. it's courtney that's responsible. she's amazing. she has all of that background, structure, and she's a trained writer. so she can pace it, information, and that's why people enjoy it. i was told to take credit for everything. >> trevor: i like that. it is courtney. she's the one. >> trevor: let me ask you this, real quick, random quote
that came into my head now, why was conan mcgregor cussing you out on stage in new york. why was he, like, (bleep) 50 cent! >> he said 50's a bitch! i said, you're glorified (bleep). not me. ( laughter ) it was one of the moments i got pulled into something. >> trevor: were you watching that? >> i was enjoying like everybody else. i said, it's going to be a good fight. us the u.f.c. vs. boxing, then i get put in the fight. i started to say something, then i said, hey, give me my phone. ( laughter ) >> trevor: my favorite moment, someone headed to you and you went to twitter, that means you're presidential! ( laughter ) curtis "50 cent" jackson, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪