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tv   Book Discussion on Becoming Grandma  CSPAN  July 20, 2016 12:51am-1:31am EDT

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unheard for the first timeme in a broadway theater is very profane reaction if i had known in 2011 now would be writing a book i would do that instead of picking that up on the fly simic thanks for your talking and your book it is incredible music alive love hamilton with a strong female characters are you considering any future products with a strong characters are not only the wives of of prominent men
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but those making historyt themselves? to read the very next project is a disney film icings he is finishing the solos paul later this year in terms of collaboration i don't know if i will work with him again. it is spun but i am also working on a book i am trying to finish about young american radicals on world war xi of my protagonist is the absolutely fearless suffragist leader who gets the amendment to cross the finish line. cemetery thing i have read your have seen in his twitter is seen as so
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frantic one says is using your righty like you're running at a time and he said i.m. do share that same work ethic or is that a hard if you're working with someone who never stops? >> we do share the same work ethic.it if you hit the deadline we have to keep churning out words as fast as we could a ver but live in is a very rareed pea specimen and there isuy something unique about how closely he listens the speed that his parade -- grain is moving all the time and it comes out when he does improv he is the best thing comes up with the things that are moving so yes you
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have to be on your toes but he is also a friend it never >> i hav >> i have to say everything bad jeremy jess said -- just said i would say about him. he is remarkable and it is an honor to know him in the year here to tell our story. thank you very much. books.use] he will be signing books outside. [inaudible conversations] on behalf of printer's row please give us feedback.
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[inaudible conversations] and
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[applause] thanks for coming on such a beautiful day spirit welcome to another edition what a thrill it is to welcome our guests today as a true trailblazer in broadcast journalism to have the correspondence on television of our revered news program
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60 minutes and was a war correspondent as part of the george h. to view bush administration end hosted "face the nation" of five years ago she had her most important in rewarding job of grandmother her book explores how becoming a grandparents can truly transform women and men plays helpmate to welcome leslie. 12 dash question about your colleague who is officially stepping down from 60 minutes after 40 plus years. >> the sadness win the
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people who were the heart and soul of 60 minutes almost from the beginning everybody knows there are offbeat stories he has done those signature stories of 60 minutes where you say nobody else would do a story like that. he had a twinkle in his eye and i have known him since he was the bureau chief in london i have already dated myself and was always say person that cared about the
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journalism side. he is also in my book not that they keep saying the book. [laughter] to talk me into doing another book. i had done another one it was about my journalism career here in washington. he wanted me to write a book about 60 minutes and i thought if i really told the of back story they would
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fire me. so i said no so fast. so we were having lunch together every granddaughter was one at the time i talked about and talked about her he said that is your book this is what you're thinking about and caring about i went away and tried to think if the subject would gain my interest over several years because they didn't stop working a new take years and i thought it would and it did. >> we first learned your daughter taylor was pregnant with her first child but war your initial thoughts? >> i was thrilled. i discovered with my grand tour have grandparents that
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if you are 50 '04 last in your child says he will be a grandparent you looked in and year to say you are too young to but if your daughter makes you wait, she made me wait so long that i was thrilled thrilled rolled >> then we can see the photographs. >> tell us where you are feeling. >> another reason i wanted to write the book. >> couple of things are happening. i am falling madly in love.
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like i have fallen off a cliff. the subtitle is the joys and science of the new grandparenting". i discovered in research dash chile secretes a hormone called oxytocic and that is the bonding hormone and i am bonding with that child per cry had such and i wanted to know what that was. every ready told me nothing better than being a grandparent for her is a kind of loving care really
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truly changes us stupid his tests who dash some of your research but she talks about at every stage of their lives. teenagers curve of so i did with i would do with and she
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laughed and said you did. because and the pathway for the baby love is saying. >> then two years later but then i wouldn't no matter
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how critical or strict or on their case, grandparent's love and predictability in the unconditionally and we never say no. it is always yes. but i am there i am pushing back. >> they and their we are at the easter a role.
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>> when you are a parent to and then you don't sleep 18 years. it could be 25 because the worries is perpetual. when mothers give birth there is a hormone that makes them a vigilant so they are almost fearful in a way. i remember i was covering the white house that i made a list of my list i was so afraid i would drop a stitch with my daughter.
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but it is simply a joyful and but maidenly most of us. >> given the roles of grandparents have changed. >> over millennia. in the way back old days of the caveman, both parents went out and hunted and both left and the babies with granma. she was responsible basically for raising the baby.
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that was the way mankind developed and as we became more and more civilized by grandma was still on the household it is still the case in china and india id before the industrial revolution of scrimmage to live in the house she lives nearby i think when grandparents dole live near there grandchildren or see the ball lot, we physically crave them. we're meant to be in their lives because that is the way she many develops. >> in with chad growing
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population. >> talk about two different sides. all coming out of the recession and has an effect on the younger people or millenials those getting good jobs and making a good lead -- living. it takes to parents' horror what one brad turner there are seven times more spent other grandchildren today then 10 years ago.
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we pay for medical care, education, teeth, stra ightening them, not to always come yes toys but in addition in big ticket items. the cribs in the car seats. we are involved that way and if nearby to just take the burden off the kids now custodial is a seriously sizable chunk of grandparents in the united states today they have custody of their grandchildren there are many reasons but to be just
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retired in thinking of taking a cruise event but it is hard. and those that have the custodial grandparents they are the unsung heros because they are amongst us. they are struggling. it is very hard this is another interesting thing. whoever raises the kid becomes a of disciplinary and they are not as permissive as the rest of us. >> it is unseemly to dash
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especially a reporter to keep our opinions to ourselves but screw that. so what makes this a specialty? found and developed those that were riding a the phd thesis in the foster care system in this state of illinois seeing child after child rejected by the foster parents and shuffled from one family to another and it was breaking her heart. she decided to foster parents lived in a compound together they would not give up because the other families would help them and support them. she talked to the pentagon into giving her some
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beautiful homes on the air force base that was being shut down. she wanted 12 houses she founded 12 families to taking in and adopt common not foster care, sometimes three or four kids and raising them forever. the pentagon said we cannot give you 12 that is ridiculous to you have to take a section so they gave upper 88. [laughter] by the way she got that a price of $250,000. each house would cost more the. so what to do with the extra houses? she put ads in newspapers to say he knew it -- any senior
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citizen that is retired and one is to downsize you can live here with subsidized rent. so from all over the country came to fill up the other 70 houses a and organically they became the grandparents of these kids who are troubled. everyone was troubled and the kids would choose their grandparents. they did in half to but they did and call them grandma and grandpa and they also help the families struggle through some very difficult times for a guy tell the story of one man who lives there and he was told he would not live more than a year when he arrived. he had heart trouble that he lived and lived and lifted
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and he became a surrogate grandfather. there was of collotype ill young kid kicked out of a lot of schools and a troublemaker and punching the other kids. said he would go to school with of play every day in and sit next to him to call him down and get him through school. >> that's a great story. we will get to some questions spread that is the
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in to help raise the grandchildren and so there is the imperative that we don't want to miss this. >> so now i will ask a question and. and to go through this
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expansion and then to become more of a consumer oriented side. >> that would be hard to break. so on the part of the older folks to be necessarily thrilled to be moving in to the house. its don't move soon to the house. no matter how bad the relationship is that they really benefit from having grandparents.
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since that is the history of the family to give them a sense to come from something. to live in the familial compound here bantus talk to my grandmother with those benefits for a child that unconditional love everybody needs to have that in their life. to let them know they are lovable. >> now c-span is in the house both hillary clinton and donald trump our
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grandparents. and one of them will be a powerhouse either will be the first to be a grandparent says george h. to be bush to read there have been a lot of grandparents. said to have the morning staff meeting in his bedroom , fdr would be eating breakfast on the tray in bed and would have cabinet members, the treasury secretary the foreign policy adviser and when his daughter got divorced and she moved into the white house. and they would burst into the room in the middle of the staff meeting of what.
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thought he would say get on the bed. and in the middle of a staff meeting read the of tunney's -- the funnies to them. that was a big deal then. the treasury secretary would roll his eyes. in the end of the indulgence. i discovered that eleanor was a distant grandmother. the franklin's mother in to be the permissive madly in love. they would call her granny.
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>> hillary would run for president i thought age would become an issue. but in fact, marco rubio was making it an issue. but trump is older they and hillary. in the three of the the candidates there is the theory of the baby boomers in these people this is the
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age of the grandmother. it used to be a stigma i hope the book gets rid of the stigma we're such a giant bowl gin the society soon. we have determined attitude say and culture and we will change attitudes. >> what advice for parents or grandparents when they
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have a disagreement how the kids should be raised? >> an excellent question me giving advice about mothering you don't want to listen to my advice i was a working mother i don't know how i held it together but i do talal lot of anecdotes how the balance of power in a family chefs the minute dash grandchild is born and we know our children hold the key to the things you love most witches those babies and we are terrified of antagonizing to say don't come over today.
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because we want to hold the kids. we're walking on eggshells. but sometimes you cannot hold your tongue. for example, i was there and my skin was coming off. we did not leave them in the crib to scream for courseware i did not say a word. i can't believe how critical. i need to say you didn't see anything you didn't shed a piece said we didn't do that with you if you turned out okay. but generally my impression is i am holding my tongue.
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i think this generation is doing a better job. and the first entrance into the workplace and to hold it together. with that family work in to put more weight on the family. >> hats off. my parents are visiting. >> do you plan to retire to los angeles soon? >> and have no retirement plans.
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>> do you find there are a vintages to living in a different city to fly a it infrequently? >> i find no a vintage to living across the country from my grandchildren. not at all. if and when i retire i have thought about moving there. it is in my head at dunno bet i would because i love living in new york but i have thought a lot about it because i don't think it is the advantage for anybody our age or the children the matter the relationship we can help our kids the matter the relationship. >> this is a suggestion for your next project my mother-in-law who died one
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year ago by the age of 98 set down with her very adult children and less adult grandchildren to record nine hours of memories of her life the grandchildren sat around a table to ask questions and she talked her childhood she was a teacher is spent her entire career helping children so this was easy for her to do now we have those of our self of ince and recording devices our children her grandchildren in great-grandchildren above to listen to those that is a project you should do for your family then write about that in your next trip booked. >> there are things after words i wish for in there i loved that idea.

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