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tv   Book Discussion on A Carlin Home Companion  CSPAN  August 17, 2016 12:57am-2:16am EDT

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>> tell us the authors that you like. >> off the top of my head jim harrison who just died a couple of years ago -- months ago i was an english major for some of those kind - - authors summon the more classical. >> first of all, i notice that you speak in a quiet 12as year-old voice so my question is what did you call your parents? to you
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get that from your mother? >> i would call them hunter and sandy. a lot of people have asked about that. and why. i really think it was hunter and what he wanted to be called. when you are parents, you tell them what the name is. it will be hunter. not bad. and it was partially him
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that the late '60s and '70s for the counterculture heou was part of rejecting everything parents believed in raised them to believe and that applied to parenting as well. when i was in my 20s i tried to call him dad. [laughter] that did not feel right.erested >> i am interested with the writing of the book were there any surprises about your dad? or yourself?
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>> one of the surprising things were the letters i cannot believe i have just forgotten about them. had. >> and their other letters that i found that talk about how he will pay for my college tuition that he did not want me to know about the stress he was under and that was surprising and touching and it seemed out of character. if he is not happy he lets everybody know that. but one of the surprises for myself in is that writing is
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something one to continue to do. because who wants to compete ? who wants to be judged your compared to the parent? that is something like i avoided but i actually do. >> they're all scattered. >> my father was day -- at the bastard and an alcoholic. to of
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having that bastard now gallic father and i am curious if you have onet particular moment as they call it a moment of clarity that help to for new? -- former you? >> what you say is so true that unlike my relationship with my son there are just thousands of individual moments. and that is what the relationship is based on. it isn't like i have a vast trove of measured --
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memories there were not that what i craved for a long time and never did get to get one of those meaningful father and son set downof discussions let me tell you what you need to know. and i finally accepted this would not happen if i am going to have the connection that i want with my father it will be just spendingsp time with him it is the time
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spent together that matters. the time that comes to mind in january just before he killed himself, it was rare for no one to be there. it was just he and i we ended up watching the big sweep he was a bogart fan. it was a fantastic movie but just to share that time and appreciate all lots of the aspects of that movie. that was a very meaningful time and yet someone say you are just watching movies with your dad. what -- you know, what i mean?
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>> did he ever try to impart to the words of wisdom on parenting? >> no he did not. and i think he wisely kept his mouth shut. [laughter] he let me draw my own conclusions to talk about something i don't think what he was good at. he feared he did not do a
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good job and was relieved i did not turn out to be a criminal or drug addict. >> has been wonderful to have you here stories i tell myself is great for fraud thursday. [laughter] we appreciate you opening your heart to share these stories and the candor. and it is a wonderful experience. [applause] >> if you have other questions he will be doing a book signing things to book people for hosng
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qis is about an hour 20 minutes select house of water quality should talk -- to talk about this first we're
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waiting on our queue. >> we will get started things for coming. i am the director of the thomas jefferson center and we are the host of the program today. is a source of great pride this is the 22nd virginia of festival of the book one way or another with all 22 festivals and it is something we will continue to do for many years to come because one of the best waysbesa to combat censorship for the desire is to remind people of the benefits of free speech.
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but it is a small price to pay for all the benefitsle before the concept is. >> yes for the first amendment. >> this was the very room that i discovered that i needed to wear glasses. [laughter] because at some point i started to do this number and asking me to read housekeeping details. and asked me to be patient. but i want to tell you that
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this is virginia festival of the book the product of the virginia foundation for humanities. please silence your cell phones this will be recorded if you would like to tweet you day and they say that as if i had any idea what that means. >> include me if you wore on twitter please. >> she could be speaking a foreign language right now.. [laughter]ve no idea. she is very proficient on twitter, the followers? >> almost 30,000. >> the festival is free of charge but not free of cost please go online to give
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back to the information desk so we can sustain for many more years. please fill out program evaluations and help to keep it free and open into thel public or complete online at the end of this program we will have books available for sale could prevail on our author to sign a copy. that we are here today to talk about this book "a carlin home companion" we will talk about that the center has been involved as many of the programs i have
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had a great pleasure to moderate but i realized people are not here to hear me they are more interested in the book or the author. so i will stop asking the questions to make the microphone available to you folk for whoever has a question. i can ask the question of the audience doesn't have any. kelly carlin has written for film and tv and stage her show "a carlin home
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companion" her master's degree in psychology informs her work as an officer she lives a moss angeles with her husband entered jack russell terrier in dreams of living someplace with a lot fewer cars. please join me to welcome kelly carlin. [applause]say, i'm very >> i have very proud of the fact that she is on the board of trustees. a strong believer of free speech and we're thrilled to have her. but what compelled you to write your book?
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>> it is interesting. i have been wanting to tell my story about 17 years. it is funny how time does that my mom died in 1997 after she died and then was dead five weeks later after being diagnosed with liver cancer a big wake-up call for me as a human and an artist with a wild and crazy life i was 34 and i felt i had already lived seven lives. and i wanted to tell my survivor's story i was a very different person at 35 and 25 or 15. there is so many different iterations of my life with
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my family and alcohol issues my mother almost died then got sober there was money and co-pay and favor in my house and what comes with that so i lived through that our family had lived through that mother's breast cancerfaths
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cancer, a my own drug addiction, panic attacks come i have spent zero lot. so i found to get my feet back on the ground on chaotic for a few years but a understood my privilege that is one reason to write the book. also growing up in the shadow of favor the adults
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chaos was in charge of my a life to have a real place in the world and telling my story is to heal that ultimately i am here., i matter. every single one of us so on some level that is one of the themes of the book. in that is part of it. something about being seen and heard. here i am big time. >> is a fascinating book.
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but a big part of that is the appearance you ra writer writing for stage and screen and i can only assume you inherited that from your father who loved the written word. >> from the current family itself. >> did that start with your father? or perhaps where he got that level? >> the family was irish my dad's father patrick he really didn't know his he could not metabolize ethanol very well as my father used to say. [laughter] end when he wasn't drinking he was brilliant in the big
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advertising guy in new york city selling advertising for all the big papers like national level. brilliant.d stuff like national speaking awards. but my dad never knew him because his mother when he was a few months old took my father and his older brotherer to sneak down the fire escape because she was tired of being battered around by patrick sr. and he started to batter young patrick she wanted to protect my father so there was the gift of the cab said mary was an amazing story teller. she was someone who would take a bus ride downtown and back up and have a full story about who was off the bus and punchline.iddle an
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a very funny women. i will just read of a little bit of this. >> george carlin was born eight weeks later after months of trying to make the marriage work she would sneak out of the fire escape leaving patrick sr. in his work, or good.d. she saw the damage that he had done too little patrick she would not let sweet g george be another victim.o this time it stuck she tried to leave a few times before. even though he tried to get her back she held strong and george never saw his dad again. in 1945 he died of a massive heart attack my dad was eight years old. without a man around to keep him out of trouble on the
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upper west side or what they like to call irish harlem she took her job as mother and father very seriously looking for ways to shape and control his mind and ain life but only succeeded with the love of language very encouraged my dad to look up words in the dictionary one morning young george excitedly asks his mother if she had perused the paper that morning. he anticipated her approval slowly she turned and sharpened her gaze to set i have not. actually i have only given it a cursory koreans. he marched right back to the dictionary to learn the new word. marched r that was very in a nutshell
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to have the upper hand in every situation the she encourage my a dads love of language. that was very irritating. if we would pronounce a word wrong he would slip me a piece of paper later with the correct pronunciation like it does in the dictionary i get it. he was trying to protect me but in your thirties i don't feel so great about that. [laughter] of '01 to read about the beginning because there is something about my life that
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always felt faded the carline legend holds a little sperm a little a again the little scotch. and then explaining that with no luck as i sat on the bed and then i'll take a pitcher of the bed you were conceived in. >> i looked at my mom and she filled in the details. we were in new orleans october 62. the d training l with musicians with a limbo contest. but it sounded like fun so
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we did it the next thing we knew i was pregnant and shed did not mention the scotchsc because she did not need to that was a given. dad was smoking lead in drinking beers is 14 and mom started to sneak drinks around the same age i'm still not sure about the mechanics but that has never mattered it worked i am here. so those two years leading up they were constant companions comrades in arms to pack and unpack suitcases hundreds of times traveling to almost every state in the country in the 57 dodge dart
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.lm i love to play the role of bomb the road partner in crime to the artist on a mission and with his lover and party girl and a press agent all in one the sole partner of life and always is best audience. you cannolis year for waft above the glasses and patrons in every club they visited. because dad was a complete unknown on some nights she was the only person in the audience. one night in baltimore no one was in the audience.nce. not even my mom. my dad asked the club owner, why am i going on? because if people come in one them to know we have entertainment.e some entertainme i hear dad killed that night
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during those years he paidn his dues but got lucky. one night to lead neighbors caught his act in chicago and lovely he sought and introduced him to his manager. this was huge my dad were shipped when me and taking every opportunity to soak up his presence my mom and dad would drive to the club in chicago just to see him perform. one night when he got arrested halfway through the set. this had become the norm that night the cops did not like the use of his word, isa will not say that it is very descriptive. to hassle the club the cops would ask to be ready for their identification when they got to my dad he said yes i don't believe an identification than the cops promptly threw him into the
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back of the paddy wagon with lenny when he told him he said are you a schmuck? my mom chased the paddy wagon by flood all the way to the police station and bail the amount. growing up surrounded by stories like these living through many others, i felt it was my family's journey that unfolded like a a mythological legend. our lives together are shaped by airforce or maybe even want my dad calls the big electron. something called us to meet the right people places and things to form a lot -- amazing life together thatg seemed so destined. >> maybe we should talk about the first amendment. [laughter] >> i also want to talk about the next phase after your
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exception one of the things that i love particular is how we met. but i'd love in your book buy you spent some time zond us title of the chapters. and one of their real enlightening ones is the three musketeers chapter title that part of your life so could you share? >> i was an only child there is only three of us and early on my dad began to call us the three musketeers. and that became a theme when you are the only child with a tight knit family you feelan sometimes it is the three
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year view against the worldains and it felt like that in our lives sometimes especially in the '70s when my dad was considered day hippie freak and it felt the whole world was against us but it was a theme in the sense that if you grow up in a dysfunctional family and i, am sure none of you know when i talk about. [laughter] there is a sense of loyalty to keep family secrets and keep them protected and teetwo protect your family's reputation. there is the sense of that when you grow up and there was crazy stuff going on.
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>> it was a great sense of belonging in that way. to also keep the olive family secrets did not help us long term there is a lot of crazy stuff in my house. but there is some warmth that i do love and adore so someone came to me to give me a hot wheels car that has the little three musketeers on it.
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it is so coveted. but i would like to read about what the carlines were doing in the summer of 72 to give you an idea how important it was to be the three musketeers. >> mom and i went down the road with dad it was say fund debentures some of the earliest memories were in a hotel room with my parents dead to the world's but in the next two hours coloring and watching cartoons with the volume down to steer out the window. finally when i was starting a would nudge my parents a way. dad would go down to a dinerdgea or order room service after he got more successful in with those rice krispy send a court of help he would take out the pocket knife to cut out the boxes andhi magically transformed them
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into an instant black all and breakfast was served although i never heard that have cecily sure one of those mornings my dad heard the snap crackle you. the first top when dad took me to the memorial of the four kids shot by then national guard that they were protesting is a war standing for what they believe in the government's silence them by shooting them. this is one of daddy's big teaching moments. he wanted me to understand the importance to stand up for what they believe beenta especially standing up to their government. they had always silence those who did not have ays voice blacks and native americans especially and young white americans there
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is no safe place for anyone. and one whe increasing need i was called nicole end collected as i could. teach me but it was just a call month and year because i could think if the government was shooting them to stand up for what they believed it would they shoot me or my dad? it was a terrifying thought that i could in the back to my mind. the next stop was summer fest in milwaukee. it was known as the island of sausage. so i think read clean american fund don't you think george carlin? [laughter]mate
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and while connecting with that audience over 10,000 people. the seven words that you can never say on television which he just recorded on his third album class clown it would not be released for another few months slave pager the promoter did not know what he had signed upt for when he booked my dad was hilarious and intellectuals examination of the usage of language and culture but it consisted of words according to my dadr it c that will in fact, your soul and curb your spine and keeping the country from winning the war. and the seven dirty words.
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shit cocksucker motherfucker tits somebody just had a stroke. [laughter] was a the main stage could be heard throughout the fair grounds. to be heard by mommies and daddies so there is my dad on stage killing at most of the audience was letting it that we stood in thee weighing enjoying the show.hen he said that cops are here they are complaining about the language in will rest him the minute he gets off stage. i guess my dad said he liked to duties six everyone in the audience the police tookmi issue with paprika known that he was carrying drugs in his pocket, my mom knew
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she had to fix at and grabbed a glass of water to walk out onto the stage. dad was very confused but took the of water and mom was spurred exit stage left the cops are here pirko he wrapped it up we quickly hustled into the dressing room to lock the door i watched as mom removed of large bag of cocaine from her purse and stashed it a dad pulled out a small fileom from his pocket to give it to the promoter he tried to keep the clomp it soundedwh like a gun went off i began a crying hysterically then nothing else happened somebody said it was a balloon. somebody popped a balloond poppd they all laughed but i was unhinged.
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, could not breathe. i thought that i was going to die. when the door opened within a few seconds the policemen handcuffed him i screamed daddy i was sure i would never see him again. my mom held me back for quite know how long it took what she called me down enough to leave to get myca dad out of jail. luckily she knew what to do because of the arrest in chicago in 61 you get a civil rights attorney. a level with the promoter were spent the rest of the weekend distracting myself as a southern california girl i had never seen the above-ground pool i almost didn't know what to do with it. >> thinking of the irony
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when the show is broadcast of the words you cannot say on television the irony of course, with that thomas jefferson and the words get believe doubt. >> is a nice education moment. >> the truth is there are seven words. >> even on basic cable. >> that is the choice that can be made because technically and this is the focus of the first amendment case of your father's chretien the words you cannot say on television was the focus, if you don't know, there is a very important first amended case that involves this routine played on radio. basically it led to the supreme court they came up with a new exception to free speech if it is on the
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broadcast spectrum that the government has greater control or greater discretion to regulate the content if it is broadcast for awhile lot going into this details of the reasoning but his routine in terms of showing be arbitrary is to regulate indecent speech. >> it was not obscene so that was the new category that was created. >> have a you feel and tactically you could say it would prove the point with the free speech side lost. >> they did. >> host: how did they feel about the decision?. >> guest: he called it an
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accident of history. he did not played the album new york played the album and it was the middle of the afternoon my dad describes the moment as a professional moralist was in a car with his 14 year-old son when they played the seven dirty words quite the 14 year-old had never heard the words in my dad's argument is there are two buttons the offat chang button or change the station but he decided to complain this ended up in the supreme court. my dad's biggest joy around the case was that all nine justices had to listen. [laughter] to the album, the piece that was played and that the
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actual routine is in the books at the supreme court right now you can go to your local law library and looked up the case in his routine is typed out for everyone tone see forever. he took great pride in that but he feels a was an accident of history so read 25:back to ucla for my a communications major we take a first amendment class which was my first -- a favorite class and i almost bought a first terminal lawyer but then i fall school but my professor, in a classroom of a hundred andin a 50 the first day of class talking about the class how he loved to teach it and he said my favorite thing about teaching this class we will study the ftc casein we can
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do this seven dirty words this is the regular occurrence in my life where i am minding my own business and my father intrude on my life and it was one of those moments that it was about 90 i thought he really has had an incredible impact on the culture but the fun part was to go up to the professor afterwards. hi. want to let you know and to the professor he said could your dad come? en do that for us? i went to my dad i am taking this class i had to explain it to him he would live free to come andand d my dad was so cute with his reaction. no.
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i couldn't do that i don't know anything about the case is just an accident of history he goes on and on i just looked at him and i think they're asking you to know though law providing byu to be george carlin to do this seven dirty words. it showed his humility he had a lot of humility in hisab place in the culture and he would walk the walk i don't think it was until a few years before he died even acknowledged he was the elder statesman in the world of comedy and he would say things when they talk about comedy in the second half of the 20th century they willll have to mention me and i say really? i love that about my dad is a side of him
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another reason i wrote the book that my father everybody knows the version on stage you followed hisst career you saw very different versions of him onw stage from clean-cut, ed sullivan george -- johnny carson then now he dropped acid he has endeared and long hair with seven dirty t words then in the '80s defoggers than early nineties he comes out and has a whole other level of political point of view and outrage about the planet which came from him to be a broken hearted idealist. here is 72 for mcgovern when he lost the never voted again he thought the system was broken and that is what he would say to people i
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don't vote that what is the reason i have a right to complain but i do vote and i encourage you but. lost my train of thought. i have no idea where i was going. thought. >> it is interesting your father was a humble but every time i hear the comedian said i really enjoy a being interviewed themselves to talk aboutut their influence your father is always up there. >> html and richard pryor bill cosby and lenny bruce alln stuart all love these people they your father who was the most influential and he lived long enough to know he was awarded the mark
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twain price for the comedy center but not long enoughng eno to see the ceremony. >> he was thrilled about that. he did not take a lot of stock awards but when he heard he got the mark twains he was happy for if i was secretly nominating him for years. , on. george carlin if there isn't a mark twain in our culture and they would pick other people i get it it is a tv show at the kennedy center but i'm a big fan of billy crystal the really before george carlin for the mark twain prize? he did know that. he really did appreciate that. >> when your father passed away i was a big fan and
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since she was so associate with the first amendment but the other routines he had done posting on the jefferson website a tribute to george carlin unbeknownst to meet, at his funeral their virtue organizationsions that suggested they may want to donate to these organizations one was the american heart associationonassc the other was the thomas jefferson center for the protection of free expression and behind-the-scenes that maybe he had ever heard of us but i got a phone call and the assistant said kelly carlin is on the phone i picked up the phone you introduced yourself as george carlin as daughter wanted to let him
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know if you get donations in may dad's name you need to know why because i decided you were the organization and will tell people. >> apparently your father was the big believer in the underdog. >> it could have picked the aclu they were all great organizations but he loved the underdog i thought here is a nice little organization. >> you told me you're researching those and because we just posted it there was a photo of your dad. >> that this this fate. >> once a realized that a friend was not joking i was so excited and thrilled and honored and then typical of me to put my foot in my
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mouth i said i can't tell you what a great day this is [laughter] two days after her fatherr passes away but that i really knew was his daughter said i just realized what i said and i hear laughter that you appreciated than your father would have appreciated. >> absolutely. >> bed you share your father's. >> dark humor? >> and maybe in their lives but the concern of censorship and the government telling you what you can and cannot say. >> i think that class taught me a greater understanding about what constitutional law in general but obviously watching my father get arrested for the seven dirty words to hear your the
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person who is interested ines the bridge and censorship. but what is most important is the first amendment that is the hint is not number six but number one. when i would learn we had to argue cases on both sides in law school in this class and i really learned even though i don't agree with your speech i will fight for the right and here we are in america in 2016 dealing with the issue all over again and it is a great teaching moment to talk about a speech what is legal and hate speech and violence so
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it is the essential conversation we need to have as citizens and we should understand the constitution and all arguments involved. i want to be prescient of time we have a clip of my dad a lot to set that up. argums later in his life 2006 a few years before he died. >> november 2005 bob and i flew to new york to see my dash you to his 13th i special life is worth losing i was excited my dad rarely let me have a glimpse of his new material but he liked to have experienced the material in the full and polished form it was a thrill to sit in the
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audience not knowing what was coming this year wast especially looking forward we were busy and he had not seen each other in about three months after walking up the stairs backstage a cop my breath walking into his dressing room a short white haired man with his back to me when he turned around it was my dad i was stunned. food took my father and left this elderly man? his facend was puffy and 2 inches shorter but he looked like he was fighting to breed. what the hell? the last few times i talked to him he seemed scattered very unlike can he forgot the name of his assistant one day he did not show up at a breakfast we had planned at the time i thought it was his age now when it was wrong people don't age this quickly it did not say anything now
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wanting to distract him as i would walk to my seat i worried if he could make it through the show would he be okay? with the audience responded to how he looked? when he collapsed? but when he took the stage he cameag alive and all i could think was if he could stay there he might live forever. >> this will demonstrate his love of language that he passed on to his daughter.
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[cheers and applause] >> i am a modern man. digital and smoke-free diversified destructiveness decons politically anatomically incorrect i have been input and outsource the upside down sizing and upgrading all lowlife cutting edge by coal still multitask right to give you gigabytes in a nanosecond. [laughter] i am old school and my inner child of upward bound a voice activated and biodegradable of the database in cyberspace i am hyperactive in time to time radioactive. [cheers and applause] behind the eightball ahead of the curve dodging the bullet pushing the envelope
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on point and no urge to big engine purge no need for:can the ba mystery why smart bomb a top gun bottom feeder. i run victory laps. slam dunk rainmaker with a a proactive outreach a row working rate jawlike. raging workaholic and ibm in denial. [cheers and applause] in mecca personal trainer personal agenda you cannot shut me up you cannot dummy down billion tireless not wireless diamine beta blockers a nonbeliever and overachiever up front down home loan went high maintenance. fast acting oven ready built to last.
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prematurely posttraumatic with the love child his sense me hate mail. [laughter] feeling carrying keeling sharing supportive bonding nurturing caregiver. to take a short positiona long would be alone cash flow with junk-bond than trash sports gender specific-friendly capital-intensive user-friendly and lactose intolerance. [laughter] i like rucksacks tough love i use the f word in my e-mail software in my hard drive no soft porn a bottom microwave at the minimally fast coated this low they nine toll-free by size and i come in all sizes scientifically formulated miracle preheated preapproved prepackage post dated double wrapped and i
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have an unlimited broad bandck capacity. [cheers and applause] >> i am route but the real deal cop blocky and ready to rock. aicher czechoslovak a rise of the tide moving in sprue spending items new so i don't lose the keep the pedal to the metal lunch time is crunch time i package in no doubt over and out. [cheers and applause] >> want to read this little bit after so one month after he really could not breathe he went to cedars-sinai he
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is in the emergency room bob i and i raced north to found sally in a the waiting room shaking up a stabilized him he is doing better about 20 minutes later the are dr. king mountain said he is doing much better we gave m him and then descend to remove the fluid from his lungs to stabilize the heart failure though what? heart failure. that is what was going on in new york. heart failure a condition they can stabilize with medicine for a few years but eventually only transplants will fix permanently. after a while they'll let me see him as i sat alone with him he is admitted he had symptoms for months and months but had ignored them to do the hbo special. i wanted to kill him. [laughter] but on either hand i got it. it was a great show later i sat at the flit of his bed
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sending him a life force doing my best to uphold my shaman duties i never felt so peaceful and his presence before there was a sweetness one week later they released him from a hospital bed now he had a device implanted in his chest a comedy sinn heart pump if regulator pacemaker he was proud of the device because he would drag it is the exact same device they put into dick cheney. [laughter] . . he died a few years later a gallon to give it away but he had a great chance to heal we had healed a lot of the past but thereer was an amazing ending for us . . .
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lucky and full of a lot of gratitude we got to love and laugh with each other through the insanity and roller coaster ride of our lives. i'm honored to be able to tell my story to everyone and share pieces of my bad people don't get otherwise. that's the point i wanted to make the reason i wanted to write the book is the see one version of my dad on stage but they don't know the husband and the father and the man. it's a privilege to be able to share that. [inaudible]
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one of the things i enjoy about the book is learning more about george carlin. this is a wonderful book to read for the other aspects of your story. it's always fun to learn and see from a different perspective somebody you think you know. there is a story of this unique story and it's a very enlightening and very entertaining read.
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i leave little cliffhangers at the end of each chapter. [laughter] i will tell you when he said one hell of a ride. i strongly encourage everybody to buy a copy if they like. i've always been a big influence in terms of what people choose to buy and read. if you take the advice of complete strangers, i highly recommend this book. >> we have a question. >> what do you think your father would make of today's political situation? >> shocking i got that question. i get that question ten times a day on twitter.
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he would've loved it. it feels lik like just a day ane we are all in the vip section july 22, 2008 he didn't get to see obama become president and he was excited about hillary, the possibility of a female president and then obama started getting traction around them. my husband and i went to the lincoln memorial standing on the steps and the presidential helicopter went over our head and it was obama visiting for
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the first time and i just cried tears for my father because my father was a huge advocate having grown up in harlem. blacblack culture and black musf you hear class clown, they talk about it a lot it was a huge influence on him and he was absolutely trust to have he would have been thrilled. nowadays the spectacle of it a all. he would have a unique take on it that no one else comes up with. there's a lot out there do political work and if you haven't seen the new full frontal shot of the highly recommended.
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she is my front-runner right n now. >> i have learned a new expression this week, posttraumatic thriving. we are lucky with our genetics and we get some thriving jeans and i come from really good stock. there's something about love. i was lucky to know that no matter all the chaos in my life in my childhood especially from age five to 12 i knew i was loved. there was the early theory that is real so i knew i was ultimately safe.
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it took me a while to ultimately figure that out as an adult. there is something about that in the healing process you need to move from the place of victimhood that you are so okay now what. that's a really important shift in life and healing. because ultimately it is our life and we ar are adults and he to take responsibility from it and i learned from my depression and my life and what i was going to do with it.
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when it comes to dads especially in your teenage years say it to me again where would that be? >> that would be the correcting my dad was the coolest dad ever. when i was in high school, we shared need. it's hard to roll your eyes at that kind of dad. they didn't buy into the just say no campaign. they could put their foot down and say do i wish they had a little bit more, yeah i wish they had created more rules that would have saved me ten years of
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my life in my 20s. once again they didn't and i had to learn from that. but yes my dad was a god to me and still is to a lot of people. i had to learn to take them off the pedestal and realize he is humid and for the most part it was that kind of. >> sure, right here. thank you for being here. thank you for writing this book and sharing insight that i know many of us miss desperately. there was a blurb on this particular section and there was a comment about the commitment to truth in everything he said. and one of my earliest memories
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was his description of a tomato, which i thought was just so dead on and truthful. can you talk about that aspect of the truth and honesty? >> it's something we didn't get a chance to talk about here. it's another big theme of my book. the description if you don't know my dad considered it a food that was not finished. they hadn't finished developing. my other favorite was you never ate anything he had to break into his house to eat like a clam or something like that. [laughter] i don't eat clams or oysters because of that. he was very influential in my life. one of the ironies of household and themes in the book is truth telling. and my father was the truth
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teller to quite a few generations. growing up in an alcoholic drug addicted functional household, truth is a slippery slope and it was confusing to me as a kid because with dysfunction comes denial, and denial is about ignoring the truth, the big elephant in the room and so the same things would go on in my life. a famous story that i tell us my father waking me up one morning in the mid-70s and my dad came to the room and woke me up and said i need you to wake up. i think the sun has exploded and we have seven minutes to live. my father had been up for about five days and he was hallucinating and he was screwed
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up. we went outside and anyway, my point is i couldn't go to school on monday and when i was asked about easter vacation, i couldn't say my dad is freaking out on drugs and my mom and dad tried to kill each other with knives. i couldn't speak truth. so, i had this very difficult relationship learning my truth and how to express myself and my emotions and reality. there wasn't a lot of reality going on. i was living a parallel life. that's when i started living a parallel life which is my persona and my private life and that got me into a lot of trouble when i got into the abusive relationships but didn't salute to anyone. when i was doing way too much cocaine and got in trouble and i couldn't get in my car and drive around and couldn't explain to people why i was no longer
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leaving my house comes with a delicate thing and one of the things that happened with my dad and i in 99 i have written the show and i wanted to talk about her death and how it affected ad and transformed me and my childhood shaping me and how difficult that was for my dad when i said i want to do this show and he, part of it was difficult because i talked about things in the shows i never talked to my dad about before, feelings i had about things that have gone on and he said why did i have to read the script to find out about this. i said maybe i felt like i needed to be on your stage for you to finally hear me. so it was a healing my bad habits we got to talk to each other and share the scary things all of us go through.
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but it is relative at times. >> it was difficult to see in los angeles and it is a parall parallel. >> this book is more in-depth. >> how do you think your father would feel about that because that was written after his passing. >> i think that part of my role in the family is to -- if he was alive, first i don't know if that would be possible because a lot of what i say in the book i talk about how i back away from telling the story but i can see now my role in the world as a
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truth teller because my dad did teach me to be a truth teller and speak the truth and talk about shared humanity and that we are all broken and messed up and trying to figure it out. i think in the end my father would be very proud of me because i figured out my role as a truth teller. there is nothing daddy dearest in the book at all. i'm like really do you know the book or anything about it, there's so much love in this book there's not a moment of complaining or victimhood. and i think my dad would get -- one thing i say in the show when people come to see the show or read my book they love my da


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