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tv   Settle for More  CSPAN  January 1, 2017 6:30am-7:31am EST

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>> thank you very much blanche, congratulations. we will have a reception upstairs in a book signing signing in the four freedoms room. thank you for coming. [applause] [inaudible] our website, booktv.org. [cheers and applause] >> good evening, everybody. thank you all so much for coming out tonight. what a great crowd, my name is lisa, i'm one of the coowners of
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politics and prose. on behalf of our great staff we welcome you all and we want to thank our friends and partners, we love doing events here. how many of you have been to an event here before? all right. i can see why you're coming back. it's one of our favorite venues and specially excited for tonight's event. so i think you've been given introductions on how this is going to proceed. we are really honored and pleasure to host a woman recognized by millions of people across the country and around the world, most of us and most of you know her as one of the most influential and toughest journalists in television. she's also a former high-powered lawyer. she's a mother of three and perhaps most important she's also an author. t thn kelly is here to talk
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settle more more is a memoir and the one thing i can say with assurance being on the book business is that there's an art to writing a memoir. there's even more of an art to writing a good memoir and more of an art writing a great memoir . it has to tell the truth memoir. through her career as a successful lawyer. evolution in her role as professional woman.
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and one other very important point about this book, it is really, really funny. she survived some of the most challenging environments. she said to work in some of the very contentious people she has covered, i'm not mentioning any names. [laughter] >> there's much more of megyn's story, megyn, if there's any consultation, i don't know if any have followed the story of pizzagate. we know a little thing or two about the real consequences of fake news stories and we are with you. we are with you and we haven't
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experienced half of what she has. but anyway, to help us get to the heart of her book and story, we are lucky to have with us another superb broadcast journalist, katty kay. she's a bbc anchor on world news america. we are delighted that katty will be in conversation with megyn, welcome in inviting the two exceptional women. [applause] >> let's rerun it. let's rerack that. that's how we are opening the kelly file tonight. >> yeah, there's so much
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criticism and negative walking in a room where everyone loves you, that's so great. >> the book tour has been the opposite of the internet. [laughter] >> thank you all for coming on winters monday night. we are specially appreciative that you've joined megyn and i here. i know megyn and it's a real treat to have me sit here and talk with her for an hour. i have your questions to and i will throw them randomly during the course of the evening. i read settle for more over the course of the weekend. it's funny, honest. i have to admit, megyn, when i was first asked to do this how does somebody of your age write a memoir, you're just starting in life. >> there's a stier to that
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because originally i was going to write about a segment and we see millennials who can't function if they suffered any sort of offense and it was irritating me. it really gets under my skin and i call them cupcake nation. the more i start today write about that, there's a reason why i'm like this and there's a reason i feel this way and i actual thought i can explain it to people if i walk them through how i got to this place and why i find the cupcake nation thing objectionable and deeply problematic for society and for those 240 -- 20-year-olds. adversity is an opportunity to grow and become stronger and, you know, just take where lisa had left off. if i had had no adversity and
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had parents that kept me in protective bubble, how do you think i would have handled the last year, i would have been crying under my desk. the reason why i was able to handle that is because i had been through iterations of that before. >> let's go back and start at the beginning in albany, new york. almost british. [laughter] >> i say that as a complement. >> my mom is one of the stars in the book. what i love about your parents is the idea that inculcated in you, the idea that you weren't particularly special. i like that. not everybody is a winner. i hate that. >> right. >> and i think that you're the -- the values that you have compared to the value -- we both
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have kids. the world that our kids live in where you get a trophy for showing up for the game. >> right. >> it drives me kind of crazy. >> i've had enough of that. i certainly didn't grow up with that. my parents, you're not so special, it was like you don't seem that special so far and that's just fine by us. we are open-minded to specialness, but we don't see it yet. and that was a gift to me because honestly i felt zero pressure to achieve or succeed growing up. i could tell they wanted me to be happy. you did have to be funny. good sense of humor and engaged and you weren't allowed to sit like a plotted plant in the table. beyond that, it was -- you seem happy, are you happy, good, good luck. and that worked out very well for me and so, you know, that all started with my mom and dad, and by the way, on the participation trophies, it
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wasn't if you achieved, they didn't give you praise. there was no pressure to achieve. >> your older brother and sister, all your family, this is about megyn's family, your book. tell a story about how your dad he would get you and ask you what had gone on in your day and your older brother and sister would say something and it would be megyn's turn and you would go on and on and on. >> she's talked enough, shut her up. >> make her shut up, they'd say. my dad who was an educator. he thought ph.d students in education -- all five of us had dinner together every night. my dad would say to everybody, what's the report. my brother and sister and myself. what's the report. pete and suzanne would give a few answers. sure enough and i would go on
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and on, they would say make her shut up and my dad would say, you had your chance and he'd say and now you will listen to her. [laughter] >> and actually my friend proposed naming my book that. [laughter] >> you paint megyn a picture of a happy family but there's two incidents that really struck me during the course of your childhood and we should talk about those and the first was what happened when you got into seventh grade. you've been surrounded by friends and go to school and then band. but for you seventh grade was a nightmare. >> the second chapter in the book and it's about my seventh grade year. it's called mean girls in the book and honestly it's still hard to talk about to this day and so now i just turned 36 on
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november 17th and that happened when i was 12. don't make me do the math. i can still get teary about it when i think back on what happened. i had always been somewhat popular. i never really struggled. i was not attractive at all. i had no appearance currency. you know, i was never one of those girls, oh, my gosh, she's so beautiful. my parents was like she's going to be with us for a long time. >> this is why the book is so great. you talk about putting on weight and having acne. >> huge space between my two front teeth. don't u you want to have that fixed? >> i'm going to go with my mom. i grew up unattractive. i was kind of chunky. my hair was hideous. that's my friend's fault.
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anyway, i didn't look good. you have to not picture this version of me where there are two people over there. they pay to make me look good. everybody here would look glamorous if they had people that they paid. so i did have currency in my personality and my friendships, like that to me was important to my own ego and sense of self- and worth and for whatever reason. everyone here has been to seventh grade. the group turned on me. so many people said why and the group requires no reason nor do they really provide an explanation. they just turn and i went from being a popular girl to being an object of disgust for them. i mean, it was -- it wasn't that they didn't want to hang out with them it was because i repulsed them and you could just
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feel it as i would walk to the halls and they would throw things at me and constantly make comments about my bod, about my skin and culminated in this horrible episode where i was -- let me just couch this by saying, i know that people have had it so much worse. please understand, i know that. but at the time i didn't have that perspective. but i was home with my parents on a saturday night and the leader of the group, she was having a party and she said, megyn, do you know where all the people from my party are and i said, no, and they all yelled into the phone, we are here. honestly, i can still get upset about it. to this day it was so cruel and i was feeling so vulnerable and my parents were watching me and i hadn't discloses to them even that i was being bullied never
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mind to this extent and i went out on the backyard and it was a cold snowy night in the winter and i skated on top of the snow which had been iced over just with tears streaming down my face in the darkness and felt so isolated and alone and targeted and i read in the book, it didn't stop in the spring when a beautiful angel named heather shepherd came and sat with me at lunch and befriended me for no particular reason. she did and my mom by that point knew something about the bullying and said, all you need is one, you know, and she befriended me and changed everything for me. she really changed everything for me, and do you know that we remained friends for years. i never really articulated to her how grateful i was for that until really this book and she
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knows my mom, they both live in albany still and she read it and she called my mom and said, you know, she helped me too which meant so much to me. to this day, i cannot tolerate bullies and i do think one upset -- what? [laughter] >> and you've done a little more . >> i think outside of the bullying, there are a few. i would not recommend this. i do have empathy for people. i have empathy for true victims of, you know, negative events. that's not to say that i believe in -- i don't like the word victim. even if you have been victimized it's just a self-defeating word that can mess with your head but i do have empathy through people that have had hard times.
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>> one question that i have read, you are clearly close to your mom, why do you think you didn't? >> i was ashamed. >> amazing. >> i felt -- i felt their repulsion. i started to believe that i was repulsive and i was doing it all wrong. >> it was your fault. >> it was my fault. i wasn't likable and that was an area in which my parents did value that. they wanted me to have friends like normal parents. >> while they were saying they would never be attractive. i was about 7 and my mom said, i know a girl that didn't brush her hair today and i was like out i went. she didn't make me brush it. i would make her brush her hair for the record. they didn't put any pressure on me to look good but there was an understanding that i should have friends. i felt embarrassed that i didn't.
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>> your dad died when you were young and you clearly had a very good relationship with him. but -- and i think for those who can read the book, the night he died you had a -- >> yeah. >> you routed your died when he died. >> yeah. >> that actually is a story i never told publicly before, before this memoir and i wrestled with it, you know, i really wasn't sure how much i wanted to discloses of about that night. not because of people like you sitting here, people who are open-minded and i hope kind-hearted and hopefully can view me through if not a generous lens but neutral lens. i certainly didn't want them messing with my father's death. this is what it is like to be a
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public figure and a private figure if you discloses yourself publicly. but i thought it was integral of what i am. i thought, maybe it makes you feel better when you know that somebody you can relate to has had a similar circumstances. for the record my dad and i have had a beautiful relationship. i was only 15 when he died. he was 45. he was no heart problems. he was fine and ten days before christmas 1985 he dropped dead of a heart attack and it was a stupid fight and it was over a class ring. i was being a stupid 15-year-old girl who wanted a nicer class ring than we could afford and he was telling me, we can't afford that nicer wring and -- ring and i wouldn't let it go and he had had it and he turned and walked out of the kitchen and he never got mad, i mean, he wasn't that
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kind of parent. my mom, on the other hand, she would get mad, but he turned and walked out and i walked past him in the living room to go upstairs to my room to my bedroom and my last sight of him was he was staring at the christmas tree in the living room, a good man alone. and that's just something that i have to live with and in those terms -- because the next thing that happened my sister came into my office -- my room and said, wake up, daddy had a heart attack. and he was never revived. you know, i where in the book about going to the hospital and, you know, i don't know if you ever lost anybody but going in there and seeing him having a chance to say good-bye, how strong my mom was, my mom who is 14 year's old at the time, she
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has three kids, there's me, 145-year-old me and she's a nurse at the va. she does not have a lot of money and my dad had just canceled the major insurance policy we had because he was like i'm 45-year-olds and he didn't -- it wasn't a heart parent. -- patient. so we had money problems facing us and my mom knew that as well. she was such an example for me in those moments, not by preaching, she was -- she fever said -- never said to me, you must be strong. >> we are having a they therapy session here. >> you to function in the face of upset. upset but functioning in the face of it. that is something i can do.
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>> you talk about how she doesn't, she's strong and incredibly strong after your father died but you tell a story about how you've been a lawyer and jumping for several years now and you get to new york and you've been in chicago and when you cry you're lonely and your apartment is cold and at the first night she's super sympathetic. >> she said, the third night she said megyn, stop playing the victim, not attractive. and man, did that jolt me out of this self-pity party. you know, she had been there, empathetic. now you're being ridiculous. toughen up butter cup. i think about it till this day.
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toughen up butter cup is what i want to say to everybody in the millennial generation. >> do you say that too your kids? >> they're 3, 5 and 7. it might be cruel. >> you're bringing up your kids with the same values of not everyone is a winner. >> i've already thrown away my son's participation trophy. it went right in the garbage. i'm sorry, i did. i went to my daughter's school, we had parent-teacher conference, what is your core message to yarley. you are not special. i mean it in the context that i just deliver today you. i don't jump a joy when they give me a piece of paper that has three lines of it. i try not to tell them that they
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are not the greatest things, i love them to death, i hug them and kiss them all day long and i don't tell them how much i -- how extraordinary they are. >> should it come along? >> right. >> should we jump forward to law career. you became a lawyer in chicago and new york and after, what was it ten years or something in law? >> nine years. >> you write the fabulous journal entries which is full of angst that i'm more exciting than this and i need more exciting. why was law not enough? >> you can read them. it's a little bridget jones dairy. but like she did, but, you know, i had been practicing law for
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over nine years and up state we never came from circles of power, it meant a lot to be a lawyer. i have arrived and now people are going to take me seriously and i like this sort of, you know, i'm fierce and i'm tough and serious, megyn kelly esquire, yeah. and so i was really reluctant to walk away from it because it meant something to me, to my self-image, but i really did ran first head first of brick wall of unhappiness and you get to a point where you can't deny it anymore. you can't deny up happiness. malaise and mediocraty. >> how did you get into journalist?
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>> i had always been interested in journalism. i got rejected which i love to remind them now. they don't care. [laughter] >> it means something to me. [laughter] >> yeah. >> and so i -- when i decide today leave law, okay, so this is something i always wanted to the but maybe i can do it now but, you know, it's not that easy to jump into it career as a broadcast journalist and so i really was determined but without the immediate plan and then -- like in retrospe i feel like my father may have had a hand in it because my dad and guitar playing is a theme of the book. absolutely. we use today spend, we never took a fancy family vacation. he played the guitar around the
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campfire and we would sing and dance, that kind of thing. i tried to learn guitar. i was taking guitar lessons once a week and low and behold and woman was journalist and she made a class because the space shuttle had blown up. meredith, where were you. well, i'm in news. you're in news. honestly, i believe in stuff like this. i just feel like there's a reason i was in that guitar class and there's a reason why i connected with this woman and this beautiful lovely woman who sometimes competitive and they don't always extend the hand of generosity and friendship to help another woman in competitive industry in particular, this can happen to guys too. she was just the opposite of that and had endless generosity
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for me and helped me make a tape and within six months i had my first tv job part time and within 12 months of that fox news hired me. >> what's the rewarding aspect of being the news anchor, most challenging aspect? >> rewarding aspect, i would definite i will say the most rewarding aspect is the responsibility that, you know, they've given me and i've earned . it's not so much speaking truth to power. it's being able to hold people in power accountable. that's the most rewarding aspect of it, that you can ask the hard questions and they kind of have to deal with you, you know. certainly in the position i'm in now. they kind of have to. take donald trump, he avoided me for most of the year, he wouldn't come on the kelly file that doesn't mean i didn't have a chance to hold him accountable. i did. and hillary clinton, she never
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came on the kelly file, not once, which i would argue did not serve her well. [laughter] [applause] >> there's my makeup artist clap ig. she's on my side. anyway, so that's the best part, the worst part, you know, i would definite i will say the worth part has been security threats that i've had to face. i get lots of it and i hate it. >> you went from somebody that reports on the news to becoming the focus of the news. >> right. >> it happened after you asked the first question in the republican debate when you asked donald trump about how he treated women in the past. let's back up. what happened before you asked
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that question because it's an extraordinary day that you had leading into that? >> that's one of the things i review in the book. trump and i had always had a good relationship prior to that debate. we weren't friends but we were friendly and then i did a segment before the debate on the kelly file from the divorce of ivána trump. it wasn't my story, it was a story that the daily beast had broken 30 years ago in which ivana in sworn deposition testimony testified that he raped her. he was brutal according to her testimony, extremely nasty and very detailed. the deadly beast brought the story back up because trump said mexicans are sending rapists, speaking of rape, right, that's why they went there.
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my point in having on the daily beast report and kelly file is to challenge the reporter a bit and say, look, she recanted that testimony, she does not standby it, it was 30 years ago, it was a contentious divorce proceeding which people notoriously lie, so how did so how did you account for the reality of your port in which i felt was not quite skeptical enough of those allegations. so i thought it was very fair to trial because we were not the one stretching up his divorce. someone else was. it wasn't just the daily peace. i put the guy on come i. challenged him. donald trump is not happy. he was not happy about the story on. he was not happy i given any airtime at all and insisted i call him the monday before the thursday presidential debate.
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he was supposed to come on the kelley filofax monday in the weapon unless i called him personally. so i called him and it did not go well. he said he never should've put that story in your show. if they teach you a favor. you should be thanking me. everyone's talking about that story. bill o'reilly didn't put that ot a show. i said bill o'reilly is not the editorial page. is that i never want to see that kind of story on your show again. i said mr. trump, you don't control the editorial on the kelley fio. and that is when he blew. d started screaming. your disgrace. you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.ag i am a set list my beautiful twitter account against year and i still may. >> i was the first olene hewitt had in seventh grade.
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>> i don't know if a class that is bowling so much as the never politician which enemies too. the threat of the twitter account was clear. at this point i have the woman drafted. this has been dropped it forionf weeks. the open enormous electric andnd hard questioning or all of them. so now i'm in a position right now he's angry. he feels antagonize. he was an antagonize, but he feels antagonize. he spends this four-day sniffinh around trying to field me out os it. what's going to happen with her? it was very clear he is focused on me. extraordinarily focused on me.tg at the time i thought to myself, this would be the biggest new store in the country of people knew he threatened to unleash
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his twitter account on me and called every fox executives prior to the debate. that was not a conversation that he had given me permission at the time to reveal, nor did i think it was appropriate. i didn't want to screw up the fox news debate and even then i had a sense he might not show us he got angrier and i did not want that.ad the we have the thursday debate and note that the rest is history. [laughter] >> was their bullying that followed? [inaudible] the attacks against year, that prompted not just for mr. trump, mr. trump's beautiful twitter account.re you were really put under a lot of pressure. >> i would say there was an at attempt to olene. if you look at the definition of bullying in the dictionary, it
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talks about obtaining a desired effect. and he did not obtain the desired effect. but it is a credit to my team at the fio that he did it because it was hard to hold the line night after night after nightiny and not cover him too harshly because my life was being threatened. i'm not cover him to gently h because they wanted him to stop the nonsense or to please him. i made a promise to the audience after he came after me and after me in august that it would continue to cover him without fear or favor which is a line from "the new york times" 100 years ago, but it still works as a journalistic principle. i had a team of people that help me with that. the point i tried to me in the point i want others to know
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right now and one of the reasons i included all of this in the book is when donald trump comes after you, it isn't just atw tweet. it's like wow, he is tweaking about her. i understand he's a fighter. he really is a fighter and a counterpuncher. i get all that. even then coming in such power that a single tweet couldleash unleash in somebody's life. i'm not even a civilian. i'm a journalist. i would say he put me on the playing field when i belong on the sidelines. we can't have president trump pulling people out of the stands and doing this to them because he criticized them because most people don't work for a company detonates a billion dollars a year and can hire a round-the-clock security for somebody like me. i've been under armed guard for 16 months and my children have been under armed guard.
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it is not an appropriate price to pay for hard hitting[app journalism. [applause] >> do you were a common train to comment that ms era in which people suggested in the most extreme version of what you've been subjected to, but every journalist i know who's coverede this campaign has had some mild form of what you've been through? there will be a knock on effect, which means the powers that be are not held to account in the way they should be. i should point out this doesn't come from the individual politician. what happens when a politician turns on you. is it then all of their followers turn on you, too?
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it is an army had been in that position before comment besieged by attacks. if you're a woman besieged by little misogynistic attacks, it do. >> i do worry about younger reporters and reporters of the place with very little means. it costs a lot of money to have a round-the-clock security. that can't go on forever. at some point the security has to go the other way and you cano keep footing that bill. we have to accept the reality of that rant. the vast majority of donald trump supporters are not at all this way. not at all. in fact, i have millions have been watching the kelley fio every night. and i know that there are so many people out there who say about donald trump and i love you too. i don't like what he said about
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you and maybe they say i don't really like your first question to him, that they can hold those two ideas in their head. it's that far corner of the internet that really enjoys nastiness and threat. unfortunately, there is a man who works for donald trump whose topic is to stir these people. and that man needs to stop doing that.s his name is dan sabino. [applause] >> the internet is a nastyfa place. the fact that it's anonymous somehow allows people to be that much more vicious. people had to put names to things they write, they would p write half the staff. >> you can avert to some extent the one across as over nonphysical threat come you have to start paying attention. >> do you watch at home whenn, it's broadcast later? >> back later on the dvr? >> not usually. i don't get home until around
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11:30, midnight. if i'm lucky my husband doug is still awake and we are having a glass of wine and we'll talk t about her day and we'll talk about her kids. we will talk about how the show went to it i don't usually watch it unless there's something i thought that was bad on it. then i usually watch it before the fox news. they turn on the tivo. we screwed data. >> whenever you felt imposter syndrome and how did you overcome it? >> well, that's an interesting question.confid i feel like i haven't really had huge self-confidence problems in my life. i'm not somebody who's like i have no confidence. i need to be built. that's a gift to my parents realism with me, the radical honesty. i never had an experience with others could something none of us had this really assumed i was mediocre at most they never
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turned that it is better than mediocre, that's great. i'll pursue this. but i would say when i was a voyeur, i was definitely not the smartest lawyer and the banks. i was up against these harvard law school graduate. people were first in their class and those people a special brains. they just do. so i would just work 10 times harder than anybody so that i could hang. in a dead herring. i was right there with them, but it was exhausting. i would say socially, i don't know how i want to put this. i have some insecurities socially. i read in the book about how sheryl sandberg and i became friends and she knew i was going out for the fortune's most powerful women's conference and she wasn't going to be there, but she wanted me to need alloi these great women who she knew.
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i'm going to connect to via e-mail and you should make you should make this a minute of either friday night before the saturday conference. okay, great. these are powerful and internal luminaries in business. now comes a time where i'm supposed to walk in the bar and made up with the women. i'm walking through comic again again -- i'm thinking to myself, no one is going to stop it because they don't really want me. that's what i'm thinking to myself. has this ever happened to you? one of the problems is people look at somebody like me now and think that it's never happened to her. we are all the same on some basic level. we all have the same social challenges we go through or wor challenges her doubts. i want to the buyer. nobody stops me and i actually had to work up the courage to walk back through the bar the other way and once again nobody stopped me. that's it. i can check a box.
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and then, i was disappointed in myself that i didn't try harder to make a connection. the next day i sat like this at the conference and she interviewed me. and i told that story. and all the women are supposed to meet up with were in theextr audience. and then the most extraordinary thing happened. my female lead up with all those been insane we didn't see you. we would have loved to have seet you. let's pick another day. it was so sincere and i believed it. and i thought shit. sometimes you or your worst enemy. sometimes i think that may have. >> you talk in the book about going to therapy and its related to this because i think there's
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a bit where you say that you wanted to be invulnerable and that laymen -- he realized women surround themselves with other women who project only strengthen no humanity. i think it was roger ailes who b said you were trying to be too perfect. i really think if you're faking it, everybody's going to know. do you have to learn something. >> this is sort of the moment o the book to begin in the decision to settle for her in my life. wimax market herself.ey it doesn't mean more money or more good. it means more for herself. but i've got the fox says. i'd made to broadcast television as a professional living and the messages i started to come into me from all different circles
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with the same. first i had a negative expense of someone of the fox news bureau, a one-man and break-ins solved it right after ithat your happened. he was always my mentor and kind and he pulled me in and said you know what your problem is?t you're just as vulnerable as everybody else come everybody else, that you project your vulnerability. people think they can hurt you or they try to and they do it with impunity. roger ailes headed -- had me up to his office. now who is the real you. i was like what you talking about? it is still the post bullying me with a protective shell i made. you can't hurt me. i find it screw you. i am strong. this is the first time somebody was asking me to take off the shell, which was scary. and then, i was seeing a therapist because the risk of literary living my first husband, who for the record i have a lovely relationship with
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today. he remarried, had three kids. i remarried had three kids. i was struggling with that decision. a study to see a therapist referred to the book as the lady amy, who saved me. and she offered me the same challenge.he same she was seeing the same thing. she wanted you to go to a women's group. she wanted to see her one time a week and i was like how screwed up at night? twice a week? i was already on tv so they're going to be like that making kelley from fox news is so screwed up. >> the women's group is great. it was amazing. they were so brutally honest. i was honest of them back.ab it is extraordinary and i write about this in more detail in the book. when enough facts are going out for a drink and they didn't ask me to go with them. my feelings arso hurt.
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>> am i the only one who feels like they don't want me? maybe there's something about me that they don't want. i went to the women's group to say they were right outside ofhe my door, talking about the happy hour they didn't ask me. i thought i was going to get a soft shoulder to cry on, but as i write in "settle for more," what i got even more was honesty. the one woman in the group through tears said to me, iu wouldn't have invited you be there. [laughter] i was like why?ke she barely even know me. and she told me why. she told me it was like the final exclamation point on what i've heard from brent and roger and what i was starting to sense in my own life, which was what you project is offputting and
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kind of intimidating and not that likable. and she said honestly, if i sat next to you, i feel like i would have nothing to relate to and use that you never have a bad hair day. uis have it together. you are little miss perfect, which is one of the chapter titles. for so many as i would've heard that and i would've been like good, it is working. and that year, 2005 in may 2006 was the beginning of my recognition that that was not working for me and it was a very self-defeating defense mechanism i have been using for years. i am happy to tell you that through a lot of hard work, i did get the shell off and i believe it's the reason i found out, my husband and i have three kids attend that i have now.
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it's the reason i have true friendships and my life now in relationships i struggled withit earlier and i also absolutely believe it the secret to my success as a broadcaster. [applause] >> which brings us to this question. your same suppose. how do you maintain your composure? she's really not. she's a bit of a mass. >> i have learned to control my temper. i'm irish catholic so i have a temporary. the other half is italian. by makeup artist coming to get to know the book, she's no shrinking violet. unable to control my temper. that is the key. it is okay to feel emotional or feel tears coming on, but you have to play, and the same is true when you're angry. all have moments on the. i'm sure i'll think of some or
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all things don't get angry. don't get angry. but i am angry. don't show your anger. so i can do that. i'm not a monkey. i don't have to act on all my instincts. i can sort of talk myself and walk myself through it and so can you. >> practice. roger ailes has been harboringou around the edge of the conversation. another revelation you have in the book that attacked again for the first time mr. relationship with roger. they should play now, when you first met roger he was a great mentor to you. this is hard to tell somebody you're trying to be too perfect and you got to change in order to really connect but we think you're great. so he was responsible for launching her career. but the relationship changed.
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>> i felt it was important to leave out the good things about roger in the book, even though chapter 24 as it has become known in my circle, with mys friends and family come in the second to last shot here waspte added late because the scandal broke late and then i had a decision to make. do i go back and scrub the book of any kind references to him? because i too was learning about him when i was writing chapter 24. in the end i thought that is dishonest because roger ailes is not all bad. he's not all good.honest the long and short of a daze and honestly in a way that is the chapter of which i am almost w most proud is the one i worked the hardest on. i wrote that chapter and i rewrote that chapter and rewrote the chapter about a thousand times. every word in that chapter has
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been pored over by me, by my husband, doug and some close friends who had dared to show i to. so you will see the complete picture when you read it. i urge you to do that because i made sure to tell the whole story there in context that i've in context could have done all these interviews that a bit annoying. were they just want to punch you. like biting your come forward earlier. it's like you know what, can i swear here? fuck you for saying that. [applause] you don't get to ask me why i didn't come forward until you ask me whether there is a safe avenue for reporting that my company and the only answer to that is yes but you asked me that next question. [applause] so that the headline rate there. the story as i joined fox news
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has made dream job. but only been working part-time in television. he hired me, gave me a great opportunity to 12 months to make tenure he called me to new york, sat me down, give me a bunch of great advice including now who is the real you. and the untold part of that meeting and others like it was they would be coupled with highly inappropriate references. in the beginning, listen, i don't speak the queen's english as you come to see. get that? that was for you. last night's >> i'm glad you thought you had to make sure i got it.ter] last night i also have a bawdy sense of humor. i don't offend that easily. my mom, my nana, they look dirty jokes. i don't offend easily. in part, i was like okay, don't be too uptight.
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and then he would cross these lines where you are like that is inappropriate by any measure. you know when that has happened. in the book, listen, i could've filled four pages of the comments he made. i didn't want to go there. i included enough so you can decide for yourself whether it's sexual harassment. i submit to you it was unambiguous because they don't want to be told. to want to see the evidence and judge for themselves. it is a terrifying six months because i understood my careerli was on the line. i knew two things. i knew there was no way i was going to do anything with them and i knew -- it's not because of appearance. it's because of integrity. and i knew that it is very likely this is going to end disastrously because i assumed at some point is going to escalate to physical attempt to be with me and i would have to reject them outright which is the one thing i didn't want to
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have to do. i was dancing the dance where it was like back to work. so anyway. and that worked okay for me and i could get out of there. all the women are shaking their heads yes. guys have such a different reaction because i'm going to say 90%, maybe that's too high, i would then have it. this in one way, shape or form. a lot of them are like wow,nate really? anyway, did culminate in a physical attempt to be with me in his office. i've been with the company for 18 months by that point. i'm not the make and kelley have today. i have no power. i mean zero. he was on the cover of industry magazine is the most powerful men in this. i didn't want to blow up my relationship with him. i was doing well at fox news. i was performing well. i was earning their stripes. i wanted that to be the standard to which i was judged.
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as soon as they have the physical confrontation in this office and i did not do anything, they ran out of this office. h i hired a lawyer. and for the record, i did tell his supervisor, which is what you are supposed to do.an the long story made short his years went by and i would look for other women. ultimately years later i found one, but hers that happened around the time might have happened and i've convinced myself based on what my supervisor had told me that he's not a bad man. he's just written. he might be having marital difficulties. gretchen's lawsuit had, i wasn't sure about that one for reasons we don't need to go into. but the allegations that hit later that day, three women came forward anonymously in a new soon as i saw that. i knew.
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and then i had a decision topany make. had because ultimately the companycn had said they were going toly al conduct an internal review and somebody told me roger was working to them at to them at every view to only a smallwi circle of people who had worked directly with gretchen and i knew it would mean. the on-air talent. not me, not my friend. not any of the other women who are probably speaking to "the daily beast." you know, i write in the book about how i looked at thisof picture of yardley, my 5-year-old and she's on top of a jungle gym. jungle gym pages in this us white dress with red dog and she's got the blonde hair down and her sneakers on and she had fallen off the monkey bars a week earlier and cracked her head open and she had gotten stitches, but she was back up on top of the monkey bars. i am flipping through my photos
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at the "jersey shore." honestly, i just said this will not have been to one more woman at fox news. other. and that's when i picked up the phone and i called lock when murdoch and i told them to get his general counsel on the phone.about wh and then i told them about what had happened to me 10 years earlier. and i told them the good and bad about my relationship with him. i didn't want them to think he was some monsters. i just wanted them to know this is real and you need to take anv honest look into his behavior.d that's all he wanted, an honest review. if there was nothing there, they would exonerate him. and if he went down, he would have only himself to blame and they believe that is where things got better. >> all the awful stuff about
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harassment during the course of this campaign and the conversation that has been long overdue because like you 90% of women have gone through something similar at some point in their lives and the tendency has always been questions like you have. why did she come forward? why didn't you tell somebody as if the woman was the problem. they made the victim has to stop you >> a discussion about how we look. >> pathway included in the book, when he was harassing me, i still looked like voyeur mega and kelley. i had on my long pants and navy and gray and brown and black suits. i have not yet been fox aside. >> excuse me. even if you looked exactly as gorgeous as you do this evening, it's still not okay. >> so to the haters who would look at those of us with our false eyelashes and she dresses and say you asked for it, you
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know, again, fuck you for saying that. it has nothing to do with how you dress. it's about power. >> a brilliant woman in canada, the writer. one of the few uplifting parts of an incredibly long and exhausting campaign was after all of these stories came out and the access hollywood tape came out, she set up a website. she was said please write in if you type instances of sexual harassment in the course of your life. tens of thousands of women brought into her. that was the conversation that needs to be had and i hope we don't drop it. >> my stories at a lot of attention because i just read the book. but the unsung heroes of that episode are the women of fox news who don't have a primetime show, who at great risk to themselvethemselve s because no one thought he was going to get
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fired, found the nerve to walk in to paul weiss, the murdoch started that investigation and told their story, believing he would continue being their boss. those women want their anonymity and i certainly would never outdone. but those are the truly courageous ones. >> much harder than it sounds. megyn has to be the kelley filed at 9:00. we could just carry on gathering. "settle for more." ever noticed her in the process. join a contract, you brought the book that the number one "new york times" the seller. congratulations. that is wonderful. [applause] what is the more you want now? what does megyn kelly want more of? >> well, for me it is prettyit'p clear. i am doing a job i love, but

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