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tv   2015 White House Correspondents Association Dinner Arrivals  CSPAN  April 25, 2015 6:00pm-12:01am EDT

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turks." and peter moskos discusses police shooting. "washington journal," live at 7:00 a.m. eastern on c-span. announcer: and is live coverage on c-span of the 2015 white house correspondents dinner. we are at the entrance to the washington hilton where the correspondent dinner has been held for about 40 years. you will see the journalists politicians, and hollywood stars arrive, and you will hear later president obama and cecily strong, from "saturday night live" as tonight's entertainment. tickets are $300 a person.
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tonight you can read facebook comments as well and follow us on twitter, so if you are tweeting remember to tweet to the white house correspondents dinner. the post-dinner festivities get underway at about 8:30, and it will all be live on c-span. now lives get ready for the 2015 white house correspondents dinner in washington.
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announcer: and you are watching live coverage of the red carpet entrances at the washington hilton for the 2015 washington correspondents' dinner, and areata huffington and correspondence from "huff post" are currently posing, and earlier you saw mark halperin from bloomberg politics interviewing a guest. anyone who is not a white house journalist has been invited by a news journalists organization such as this, and we invited joyce woodhouse and the political consultants brad dallas woodhouse, one is a republican and one is a democrat
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permit you are going to see some more arrivals, and about 7:50 p.m. is when you are going to see the dinner began, and we are going to show you some behind the scenes tweets, and you can follow us at twitter @cspan is our handle, and we will also be reading some ace book comments we can be found at facebook.com/cpsspan, and that is where you can read those and post them.
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announcer: live coverage on c-span of the white house correspondents' dinner, and
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that was bill belichick there on the red carpet, live coverage.
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announcer: live coverage of the white house correspondents dinner red carpet arrival. ivanka trump on your screen. her father, donald trump will be attending this year's dinner. if you are on twitter, you want to follow along #whcd.
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this tweet came in a while looking. michael kelly from "house of cards," he is at the dinner as well. [indiscernible] announcer: that is former speaker of the house newt gingrich and his wife and they are there as guests of christian broadcasting network.
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announcer: and another former speaker of the house, democratic leader nancy pelosi is with her husband. john casish from ohio tame through early. $300 a ticket.
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announcer: and that gentleman in the center of your screen who just gave a buss to senator pelosi, that is the former governor o'malley from maryland, potentially talking about running for president. he is talking to the bearded gentleman who plays one of the aides, one of the inept aides, mark hell prison who is doing the -- hellprin who is with bloomberg. and lucious malfoy from the harry potter movies.
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c-span's live coverage of the 2015 white house correspondents dinner.
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announcer: gayle king from cbs news oprah's best friend, that's how she is also known. washington hilton hotel has hosted the white house correspondents dinner for the
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last 40 or so years and this will be live tonight the 2015 dinner. you'll hear from president obama, 7:50 p.m. eastern time is when the festivities in the ballroom get underway and then the post-dinner program begins at about 8:30 p.m. >> [indiscernible]
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announcer: and you're watching c-span's live coverage of the white house correspondents dinner. this dinner has grown into a full weekend of events brunches prebrunches cocktail party on friday night and of course the big dinner on saturday night. today there is an event called the garden brunch, it's hosted by tammy haddad who is a washington resident, of washington society, a former tv producer and one of the guests at her brunch was mike kelley,
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you might know him as doug on "house of cards." >> mike kelley, house of cards a.k.a. doug. >> pretty cool. >> as you attended this dinner before? >> for me, this and the emmys, right up there. >> why? >> just some people that -- we meet actors and stuff, but meeting politicians and correspondents. >> who are you excited to meet? are you a guest of abc tonight? >> i'm a guest of reuters. chris matthews he is one of my favorites. meet the president would be a real thrill for me.
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>> what do you think about the intersection between hollywood and washington and what you do for a living? >> you mean my -- obviously, we dramatize the whole thing. i pray to god it's not like that. i do have a young staffer, not the same one, but some young staffer will come every year at the event and say i know. maybe not, but a lot of efficient men out there. >> the real mike kelley, thank you. announcer: and that was mike kelley, chief of staff to the president on "house of cards." back to the hilton, there is connie britton of "nashville."
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announcer: now as we continue to watch the live scene at the washington hilton.
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we want to show you the interview that c-span did this morning with alfre woodard, the actress from >> state of affairs" and many, many movies. we caught up with her at the garden brunch as well. what do you think about the intersection of washington and hollywood at the white house correspondents dinner weekend? >> i have never been, so i am here to see what happens for the first time. i have spent a lot of time in washington. i was there five years, but i never partied in washington. i have come to work. you know, we're only a day and a half in and frankly, i'm a little exhausted. we don't do it this hard in hollywood. >> are you going to the dinner tonight and as whose guest? >> i'm going tonight as a guest of "u.s.a. today." >> who have you met? are there politicians that you have met or want to meet
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tonight? >> i think i spent a lot of time here over the decades first as a protester shouting and chanting and marching around because democracy survives. i came inside, we were encouraged to come in and start to talk, people were yelling, trying to change policy around. worked on a lot of issues concerning women, children right now i'm really concerned with the criminal justice system and policing nationwide. and whatever, i have just been an activist all this while. so the people i know, i know lots of people over the years, but i have access to them, everybody does ok, let's talk.
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so anybody i would like to know, if i run into john boehner or mitch mccon normal, i would actually like to say can i come and chat with you? you can't really talk about things at these events, first of all, the music is glaring. everybody is shouting to hear each other and they're drinking, so i think can i come see you, i would really like five minutes and later on you do that. >> alfre woodard thank you. and that was alfre woodard the actress. "state of affairs" is her latest project. a minute ago, you saw darby standsfield arriving on the red carpet. she is the press secretary on scandal. if you want to follow the tweets that we're following, you can follow us as c-span. we are using the #whcd and you can also follow us on facebook
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facebook.com/c-span. you probably don't need any help identifying wolf blitzer of cnn and his guest, jane fonda. her former husband, ted turner owns cnn and she is cnn's guest this year.
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announcer: and a reminder that you have to be a credentialed white house journalist to even think about buying a $300 ticket to this dinner. you can invite any guests you want. somebody has invited actress ashley jud who at one time thought about running for senate against senator mitch mcconnell.
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announcer: and again live coverage from the white house correspondents dinner from the washington hilton. that woman has to be a real c-span watcher to know who that is, marie hart, the deputy spokeswoman at the state department along with wolf blitzer and jane fonda.
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announcer: and just a minute ago. this picture was tweeted out the president's motorcade arriving at the washington hilton. it's going in the entrance on the side of the building. this is the building where president reagan was shot in 1981 outside of that building. that little overhang has been added since then. there is lester holt in the foreground being interviewed nbc temporary anchor. joe scarborough and minka
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pierzynski. at c-span is our twitter handle and facebook.com/c-span if you want to follow along and see some of the comments that people are making about the white house correspondents dinner. [indiscernible]
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announcer 2: and now on the red carpet johnny, ice skater, blond with the hair up, that is tara lipinski, they did the olympic ice coverage from
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sochi. [indiscernible]
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announcer: that's former new york mayor and owner of bloomberg media, michael bloomberg arriving for the dinner. bloomberg media has quite a presence here at the dinner and in washington, quite a bit over the last six months, of course, you have to be a credentialed journalist just to consider buying a ticket for this dinner. all of the celebrities you see
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are invited guests.
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announcer: this is c-span's live coverage of the 2015 white house correspondents dinner. this is the arrival ceremony, or all of the arrivals at the red carpet entrance. the dinner itself will begin in a half hour or so. we'll be live and you'll see everything from this dinner from the washington hilton. again, this has turned into a weekend of events here in washington and there is a brunch sponsored or hosted by tammy haddad and hillary rosen and anita dunn, three very prominent women here in washington and one of the people who attended her brunch this morning is actor tim daly from "madam secretary," brother of tyne daly and c-span caught up with him. what's the importance of this weekend?
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hollywood meets washington and we all have a party. >> i like to go back to the tradition of this event, it's a chance for everybody to let down their drop their partisanship and make fun of themselves and the people at the white house roast each other and have a good time. it's a good way to blow off steam and laugh at yourself and have a party. i don't think there is anything that important except for me personally because i'm president of the coalition, we make this about our add advocacy and march around the halls of congress and speak to senators and those about us. it's work and then play. >> and for your show do you have washington consultants? >> well, you know, i like to say that madeleine albright, the real madam secretary is my white house correspondent's --
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i'm going with her as my date this year. she is the real champion of our show. it's important to keep in mind, that we are a tv show. i mean, we solve a world crisis every week. it's really a much slower process. we're not a documentary. >> tim daly has work to do solving world crises, we'll let him go on his way. >> thank you very much. >> tim daly is going with the network that his show is on, cbs news. madeleine albright is also a guest of cbs news. follow c-span and the coverage of the dinner. you can follow on twitter and facebook. there is al roker.
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announcer: that of course is martha stewart on your screen who is another guest at the white house correspondents dinner. the woman in the blue dress that we saw just a minute ago, that was uma abadeen married to anthony wiener and top aide to hillary clinton. [indiscernible]
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announcer: that of course is donald trump arriving for the dinner and the dinner will take place in the largest ballroom in washington, d.c., it's at the washington hilton. 2,600 guests tonight at 260 tables 10 people per table. you'll hear from the president as well as cicely strong of "saturday night live," that's part of the entertainment and c-span will be live throughout the evening, so we're taking you now inside the ballroom here at the washington himent.
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-- hilton. ♪ ♪ [indiscernible]
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[indiscernible] announcer: live coverage of the white house correspondents dinner.
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katie correct and justice scalia . some say this is what it is all about. having journalists and policymakers together.
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[indiscernible] announcer: you are watching live coverage inside the ballroom. 7:50 is when the pre-dinner program is due to begin. it often runs late as people go through the extra detectors to get into the dinner. there is a lot of criticism about this dinner, the coziness between the press and the
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politicians since it has become since the 1980's. the director of a new documentary looking at the white house correspondents dinner, he talks about some of his criticisms of the white house correspondents dinner. >> i started off with less of a critical eye then i ended off with. i started off by saying what is this week, why do celebrities come? just a snapshot. isn't this interesting. then, as i started interviewing people and listening to what this week was about, you start to realize the criteria worked holding up. people said it was about access. people say it is about white house correspondents. they get little correspondent --
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they get little attention. some say it is about the scholarship. it is not his bus as it should be. some say it is about fun but it is not that much fun read the criteria holding up the week wasn't holding out. that seemed worth examining. that is when i turned a corner to maybe examine the week with greater scrutiny. announcer: that was patrick gavin, an interview done with him regarding his nerd prom inside the wildest week. if you have a criticism of a dinner or something you want to say about it, you can tweet us as well. you can follow and make comments on facebook as well.
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[laughter] ♪
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announcer: the predinner program is due to begin in 10 minutes. they often push it late. the logistics serving 2600 people are not necessarily simple. the washington hilton has gotten used to it.
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we talked to the general manager about what it take. >> our staff is 1000 team members. 700 full time. 300 onside predict 200 banquet servers. we have 50 managers that serve as greeters to get everybody where they need to go. we have three folks that focus on nothing but time bowties. you wouldn't believe the number of people who don't know how. >> some of the staffers have worked the center fairly often in the past several years. >> our executive chef, this will be his 11th dinner. he began with us 11 years ago. his first night working was for the white house associations dinner. we had charlie, hourly our
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longest-serving member. 47 dinners. announcer: the washington hilton on connecticut avenue north of dupont circle has hosted this dinner for 40 years. through the evening, what you are watching and what you're going to hear, go to work facebook page. [indiscernible]
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[indiscernible] announcer: live coverage in the ballroom of the washington hilton on c-span. the white house correspondents association is the group that puts this dinner on every year. kristi parson is this year's president.
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she is with the chicago tribune. she talked to us about how this dinner has become very well-known. christie parson: it does attract attention to the people who cover the white house. that is not a small thing. people can feel good about coming to the white house correspondents dinner every year. in buying those tickets they are saying to the white house and other government officials we back these people. we support them. that helps us. we deal with the white house every day. we have a duty officer on call always ready to take a call from a journalist who is having a hard time getting access or member of the pool who can't get the full pool into a event with the president and the fundraiser.
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we only stand ready to do that job. it does make a difference when people come and show their support. that is what i love. announcer: that was christie parsons of the tribune company. margaret carlson, he used to watch frequently on cnn, she was with time magazine for a long time, and now is a columnist with bloomberg view, she spoke to c-span about how she feels about hollywood and the white house correspondents dinner. >> bringing in these people, it brings attention to them outside of their usual habitat. that -- it teaches anybody about what white house correspondents do. announcer: if you would like to make a comment about the dinner facebook.com/c-span.
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follow us they are. we are following the white house correspondents dinner on twitter if you want to make a comment as well.
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announcer: anytime the president goes anywhere security is tight. many members of the cabinet, lots of politicians, a lot of security goes into this event. the general manager of the hilton spoke with us at. >> the security is operated by the secret service. the hotel takes guidance. it starts with the secret service. their plan is slightly different every year. they provide is the guidance on they will be operating. we take that and plan from there. it is very complicated. it requires a lot of experience. we are fortunate to have a good director of security who has worked with the secret service for many years. they are -- announcer: they are running a bit late for the predinner program.
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they have their dinner. after that, the program. they give the scholarship award they hear from the president. they will introduce the board of the white house correspondents association. cecily strong of saturday night live will be the entertainer for the evening. live coverage all evening.
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announcer: as we continue to watch the ballroom fill up, we want to play something for year. the executive director of the white house correspondents dinner it has gotten so big he correspondents association has hired a full-time executive
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director to manage everything that goes on at this dinner. here is she -- here she is. >> the first dinner, this is the 89th dinner. it messed some years due to war. but the dinner became what it is coincidentally when i started not because of may. 1993, bill clinton came to the white house and had such a following what hollywood. it has oversold. i accidentally oversold.
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we had to move the marine band. this year, it has always been the same. 262 tables. that is all that can fit. this year we have to give checks or make refunds. we could have seated another 1200 people. announcer: that was julia talking about the history of the dinner. the president and the first lady hold receptions prior to the dinner. this year, joyce woodhouse was
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the mother of dallas and brad woodhouse. she called in back in december. it is a classic call she made to tell her sons to quit fighting. if you want to see the photos that c-span is posting, at c-span is our twitter handle. [indiscernible]
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announcer: the predinner program is about to begin. you can see the vips of entered the room. everybody the things they will be having an dinner include crabmeat housemaid buttermilk dressing, peppery go -- pepe alaskan halibut. that should begin shortly. the president's own is in the room.
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♪ [applause] ♪ [hail to the chief plays] >> ladies and gentlemen please
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stand for the presentation of the colors. ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪
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>> ladies and gentlemen, george lehner, major garrett, olivia knox bloomberg, tara lee, david morris, cecily strong. [applause] >> ladies and gentlemen please be seated.
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♪ ♪ >> ladies and gentlemen, thanked join me in thanking the marine band. [applause] we are glad you're are here
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tonight. we invite you to enjoy your dinner. our program will begin when you finish eating. [indiscernible] announcer: live coverage of the white house correspondents dinner, they are a half hour behind schedule at this point. that is typical. a lot of people weren't even in their seats prior to the president entering the room. c-span will be with the program all night. after they are finished eating dinner you will hear from the president, from cecily's wrong
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-- from cecily strong. 2600 people in the ballroom. this is c-span's live coverage. if you want to see behind the scenes coverage, follow us on twitter. @cspan is our twitter handle. [indiscernible]
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announcer: as the guests are served, we want to show you an interview greta bronner did with cecily strong today. this was taped yesterday. she gives a preview of what she thinks about the dinner. >> this year's host, we're talking the night before. tell me, is the speech ready? cecily strong: i will probably be making it changes until i am done speaking. while i am sitting there i'm going to have little changes. i may add some things. if my brain works during the speech i may even do some tweaks . >> how many times have you practiced?
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cecily strong: i have been using friends as my audience my test audience. i've been reading through everything and seeing what works. i practiced with them, and my dad. i wanted him to be a fresh laughter. he has heard most of it. >> your dad has a loud laugh. did you get some loud laughs from him? cecily strong: i did. i was be reading it. i want those real laughs from him. >> how have you prepared for tomorrow night? cecily strong: i don't know that i am prepared mentally. i have a great group of writers that i'm working with. we had a couple meetings where we talked about what we wanted to ride. some ideas of what we wanted to hit. then we had some joke reads. we've had this two week hiatus,
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so i have been in atlanta. a lot of e-mailing back and forth. edits and edits and on top of that. new joke packets coming in on top that. >> are they saturday night live writers? cecily: yes. >> did you put this group together? cecily: yes. >> why did you think you want to get this group together? cecily: i worked with a lot of the people from update and i knew i wanted to work with them. seth did such a great job. why not use his people? there are a couple of writers in the show that have good brains for this kind of thing. i was nervous they would not say yes, but lorne asked some people and they are more likely to say yes to lorne. >> give you any advice?
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cecily: a little bit about having a lot of jokes and self editing. he sent me a text today saying he was proud and excited for you. you better. [laughter] >> why did you say yes, and how did you get the call? cecily: i got the call through my dad who left me a voicemail saying he got an e-mail from his friend chrissy, who was inviting me to the dinner somehow. whatever it was, it was confusing and i thought it meant he was going to go and then he said he is going to speak so i assumed he was going to do a panel or something. when yes, are you going to go? are you going to do it? i was like, what is this? i called him, he sent me the e-mail and it took us at the office like three days to even find out it was real. once i heard it was real, i was hoping that it was on a work
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week so i can easily say no. and be like, i am so grateful, thank you so much, but i can't. >> are you nervous? cecily: very nervous. >> why is that? cecily: i have heard from everyone who has gone before or with thought about going before that it is a tough room and it is tough to win in that room. for a lot of comedians, it is not an ideal situation. but it is such an a mazing opportunity it overshadows the bad. >> you have the audience in the room and the audience at home watching. and how you thread that needle? cecily: i'll find out i guess. we do have a live audience and i come from live theater. i'm used to that. they will have a camera on me. i hope. i can't miss that part up, i hope. >> did your dad give you any advice? cecily: no.
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he tried his second joke today and both i have been my, no. [laughter] i'm always threatening, you want me to say that? you want to hear how many laughs that gets, dad? i'm not going to. >> any jokes you want to share with us? cecily: that our my dad's? >> that or tomorrow night. cecily: no way. i have to save them. >> anything off-limits? anyone off-limits? cecily: there are no limits really. in my head, even as something is a little bit biting or cutting i would rather that everything is funny. that is the most important. meaner jokes -- i think you can hear it in a crowd when it joke is not working and it is mean. sometimes you can take little jabs in there, but they are funny. it's ok. cecily: you have hillary clinton. -- >> you have hillary clinton the
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2016 republican contenders. cecily: we may mention hillary and the republican contenders. i don't know. >> what topics? cecily: the big election is coming. that is huge. there are so many people you can poke fun at in that. and general news, topical things. i think the contenders will be a big chunk. >> following the president, how does that factor into -- cecily: it's a nightmare. he is so funny and he gets to go first. he will tell a bunch of jokes that i may be planning on telling that i have to seriously cancel out so i don't do the joke. >> clear channel any of your "snl" characters? -- will you channel any of your "snl" characters? cecily: they are all exaggerated versions of me.
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i grew up in chicago. i did a lot of theater. i went and got my bfa in theater from cal ed and i went to the groundlings and loved it and decided i wanted to go that route and i moved back to chicago to study at second city and i was performing in touring at second city and then i did a showcase for "snl" and at the end of the summer, i was in new york. >> what was your dad and mom's influence? cecily: my whole family -- my mom was always very supportive in theater and my dad was interested, but i think getting snl really was exciting for him and i think this is -- there could not be anything better for his dad. this is his world. >> will he be there? cecily: he will. >> cecily strong, thank you. have fun. cecily: afterwards, i definitely will.
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i can promise you that. >> cecily strong will follow the president tonight in the speaking linux. she will be the last person you hear from, the comedian this evening. the comedian is chosen by the white house correspondents association and primarily by the president of the white house correspondents association. that person is christi parsons of the tribune company. she talked about what she looked for. >> everybody gives you your opinion, but that is one responsibility traditionally that falls to the white house correspondent association president. i have been thinking about it for a long time. last two presidents were kind enough to let me watch their process and see how that played out. i am sure that i wanted to do. the chicago tribune is where i have worked for 25 years. i still work for tribune publishing. i just like midwestern humor.
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she is a funny, nice girl who says very cutting things in such a heartland kind of way. wait a minute, she kind of sliced me up there. i think that is going to be a cool thing to see from the podium. >> that was christi parsons talking about why she chose cecily strong to be this year's entertainment. any comments you would like to make what you would like to follow the tweets sent out by c-span or using #whcd and you can make a comment on our facebook page. there is the president and christi parsons having a conversation at the head table and having a little bit of a no sh. they usually do not eat too much of the head table. the 2600 guests, this is what they are having. they are having jumbo lump
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crab meat. then they are having mango and baby oak salad and smoked paprika rubbed for late. i think that his stake. along with alaskan halibut -- i think that is steak. then seared alaskan halibut, and then a tapas of little desserts. that is what is being fed to 2600 guests tonight, $300 a ticket. only journalists credentialed by the white house correspondents association are allowed to purchase tickets. all the celebrities, all the politicians. everyone you see their is a guest of the correspondent association. live coverage from the washington hilton hotel watching our guests.
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>> steve cowan is the general manager of the washington hilton hotel. we talked to both of them about what goes into thinking the menu. >> the planning for the dinner begins a year in advance directly after the previous year's dinner. we start, the week following the dinner, we have after-actionwill talk about what worked well, what we want to do slightly differently, and it begins there. later during the year we have the associational hazard there tasting, the selection committee, they will decide on the menus two months in advance.
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maybe a week out we talk about the logistics of this year's dinner and how things are different from the previous year, what the focal points are then we have a preshift meeting the day the dinner for all of the teams. it is a year-long process. >> we have a tasting. we had it there many years. they are very, very good to us there. they really go out of their way. unlike what you may have read in the paper from one of our guests about rubber chicken, we've never had chicken. we actually have very, very good food. they offer three salads, three entrées, three desserts, and we pick and choose. we have a president, our incoming president, and our two outgoing board members every year. they are the ones that work on
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the food selection. >> c-span's live coverage of the 2015 live correspondents dinner. there is a person who plays a press secretary on tv's "scandal." debbie stanfield is an invited guest. could not get a ticket even though she plays one on tv. she could not get a ticket herself. had to go through a news organization or get invited by a news organization. a lot of celebrities here tonight. it has become since the 1980's, in a sense, a competition and a chance for hollywood folks to get the together with washington folks and it becomes an entire weekend. it goes through friday night. we showed you interviews from
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the garden brunch which nina dunn and hillary rosen put together. it used to be held at tammy dodd's house, but it grew so big that they hold it at tammy graham's former house. people and time at a cocktail party. the new yorker has a party. lots of post parties after this dinner. this dinner has become the centerpiece of an entire washington political celebrity weekend. if you have any comments about this type of activity, and there are a lot of comments being made on our facebook page, you can join us or like us on facebook facebook.com/cspan. you can follow us at cspan.
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see some of the actors being tweeted out. you can also use the hashtag #whcd and see some of the comments and photos being put out by other people. this is c-span's live coverage. the program itself should begin in five or 10 minutes or so.
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is 8:48 p.m. eastern time. the white house correspondents association dinner for this year , the speaking program will begin at about 9:30 p.m. eastern time. we will place more interviews, show you more behind-the-scenes stuff, and watch the whole process live. it is 9:30-ish. when the speaking portion begins, we will be live as well.
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>> you are watching live coverage of the white house correspondents' dinner. as we continue to show you a little bit behind the scenes of what is happening at the dinner. we talked to margaret carlson.
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he said he was "time." is now with "bloomberg view." both critique the white house correspondents' dinner. >> the dinner has grown beyond its original purpose, to put journalists together with officials and politicians to get to know each other in an informal setting. the cast of "duck dynasty," have nothing to do with politics -- mind you, i would be devastated if i couldn't go to the dinner. the best thing they could do is
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to get rid of the excess, where we spent more on valet parking then scholarships for aspiring journalists. >> my big take away it's not against parties that don't invite me to events or celebrities, to me, the critique is washington in general. i do not mind if the dinner exists. what i mind is that it is our super bowl. whose fault is that? they bear some responsibility for it. they have done a good job to encourage journalists.
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they have some responsibility, but my issue is with the level of prominence given to this event. that is the fault of everybody in washington. if things like climate change rallies or tea party rallies were more important, i would have no problem with this dinner. it's just a dinner. i totally get that. to me, it's just so prominent. one response i have gotten from washingtonians is that, sure it's our super bowl, it's a not so great event, it's so what? who cares? this is washington. you know, people are so
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conditioned in this town to our biggest event being this is just shocking to me. it's a level of pessimism that i don't think gets us anywhere. reporters and politicians of have a 10% approval rating. for us to say sure, the rest of the country hates us, it just as to that. we should take pride in how we are viewed outside this town. we have to. we are here to represent others. for people in this town to say this is not working, unless some worry about it. but people in this town should care about how they are perceived outside. that was a criticism that was depressing. >> that was margaret and patrick
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talking about some critiques of the white house correspondents' dinner. she is a woman you see talking with the president from time to time. one of the things that the correspondents' association does his hand out scholarships. she talks about some of the efforts she made to bring the dinner more in line with the actual mission. >> i wrote a letter saying please invite your correspondents to the dinner. it's a democracy right? we cannot tell people who to invite. a lot of cougars -- news organizations took that to heart. they may sure that they have correspondents at the dinner. we encourage that, we like that.
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it's a news organization, is their right to do that. all we can do is encourage them to get in the spirit. >> if you want to see some comments being made on the dinner, you can like us on facebook and you can join the conversation, or you can tweet @cspan. #whcd. this is live coverage of the 2015 white house correspondents' dinner. this "will begin in about 20 minutes. -- this speaking program will
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begin in about 20 minutes. they are still bringing out the main course. might be running a little bit late this evening.
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>> you were watching the head table, the president having his dinner this evening at the white house correspondents' dinner. here is the menu. terinne of crab meat, a salad of baby oak and mango paprika-rubbed filet halibut and a tray of desserts, with coffee and tea. they have been serving the dinner for the last 20 minutes.
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they should finish around 9:30. that is when the speaking program should the end. when it comes to the dinner, we talked about what goes into picking some of the ingredients. >> the menu is unique every year. we look to source local ingredients from within 150 miles. we are interested in what is going to serve well in a ballroom, knowing the time constraints and the schedule, it involves secret service timing the show timing of the event. it is about what holds well, what will move quickly, and will be fresh in front of guests. >> day of, how early does the steps are preparing? >> the staff begins preparing a day or so in advance.
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there are some ingredients we are working on advanced -- stocks and things like that. they are on-site at 4:00 in the morning, beginning the final preparation process. >> live coverage of white house correspondents' dinner on c-span.
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>> as we have been showing you all night we have been interviewing patrick about the amount of scholarship money -- that is part of the speaking program you will hear. he has some specific critiques
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about scholarship programs, and christi parsons, this year's president of the correspondents association, responded. >> the reaction has been mixed. it is a love letter to the work they do, the last nine minutes is an analysis of the struggles white house reporters face, and why we should support them. there's a part in the film in which i point out that the executive director gets paid more than a giveaway and scholarships for it every year. they don't like that. i stand by my viewpoint being a bad ratio. the leading auditor and
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charities, they found it troubling. they have quibbles with it. if you say this is a scholarship on the tax form it says that scholarship is the primary objective. to have your only employee make more than you give out scholarships, it looks bad and i think they should do more. if they want to help kids to go to college. that is one thing they have quibbled about. before the dinner, they sent out an e-mail sort of in response to the film. that aside, most of them have been supportive. >> did they give you a financial breakdown?
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after the movie came out, it supports the theory even more. the executive director gets paid -- the giveaway $130,000 in scholarships. in 2013, the director got paid $130,000 and a giveaway key thousand dollars. -- $80,000. the gap is getting worse, not better. i think the amount you giveaway should be double. >> she really is the heart and spirit of the organization devoted to fighting for openness and transparency at the white house, we are not a fund-raising organization, we are just journalists. i do think most would become people with us on fund-raising and asking corporate sponsors to
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contribute money to our dinner. $100,000 isn't nothing, it's just an amount that flows in because we run a tight operation, we don't spend all the money we take in. we think it is supportive of our mission to give it to scholarships, to aspiring journalists. we are not a fund-raising organization, we are devoted to fighting for openness and transparency at the white house. >> the white house correspondents association sent a letter saying, we award 100,000 scholarships to college journalists. scholarship awards have increased tenfold in recent years, and the board is proud of that. we regularly explore other ways to make meaningful contributions to aspiring young journalists. we have created an endowment
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fund to protect our ability to continue funding scholarships at a high level in the future. that is from the white house correspondents association. that letter was a breakdown of the expenses from last year's dinner. they got about a million or so dollars and the total income from the dinner turned out to be some hundred $81,000. the hotel itself costs about $411,000. the entertainer costs about $10,000. those at some of the expenses they have for this dinner.
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>> lots of interesting tweets at #whcd. this is from jill. this is live coverage of the white house correspondents' dinner.
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we caught up with the correspondent at brunch this morning associated with the dinner and talked to her about the whole feeling and the whole noise around this event. >> april, as a correspondent what do you think of the hoopla h? april: there is a lot of attention around the dinner. it's about the fact that we award spectacular journalists at the white house. the dinner is about us, and we work so hard during the year.
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this is really a hard job. it's 99% work. april: this is our convention. we are going to have fun for three days ago back to work. i don't have any celebrities this year. i've met a lot of nice people here. thank you. >> and that woman in the red dress is april on the floor of the white house correspondents dinner. this is c-span's live coverage of the speaking portion of the program, where you will hear from cecily strong and president
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obama. it should begin in -- anytime. we will be live throughout. [captioning performed by the national captioning institute, which is responsible for its
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caption content and accuracy. visit ncicap.org] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2015] >> as we mentioned, there are a
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lot of tweets. we want to show you some here. you can see it there. is jamie landis to -- lannister sitting one table from me? yes. this is also from the washington post. and finally stephen buckley is his name. it is exactly why the public is turning away from the mainstream media.
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the media should not be friends with politicians. that is stephen buckley, who indicates that he is getting a phd in political science. c-span's live coverage of the white house correspondents dinner.
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>> cecily strong will be one of the few women. christi parsons of the tribune company talked about that issue. christi: they used to do musical acts, a juggling act at some
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point -- that was a long time ago. since the association started having comedians, she is the fourth one to have done that. i don't know why it is always a late-night white guy? it is important to have different perspectives represented on a podium mic that. she is funny sharp, and she will bring them down to size a little bit. that is part of the fun. >> that guests are being told to take their seats because the program will begin shortly. as you see, nobody is listening. everybody is socializing and visiting. it may begin shortly, and we will be live with it all night. again, if you want to follow is, make comments, like us on c-span -- on facebook at facebook.com/c-span or follow us on twitter.
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this is c-span's live coverage of the 2015 weiss house -- white house correspondents dinner. -- correspondents dinner. >> ladies and gentlemen, police take your seats to the program will begin shortly.
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>> ladies and gentlemen, lee's welcome christy parsons. [applause] christi: thank you. thank you, everyone.
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welcome to our dinner. take your seat, if you would. we would like to get started. i want to welcome all of you to the 89th annual white house correspondents association dinner. [applause] i think of this as a rite of spring, a time when we recommit ourselves as a group publicly to the common purpose and that brings us all together, the fight for openness, transparency, and press freedom for ourselves and people everywhere. [applause] it is my honor to serve as your president. thank you. [applause] i want to begin by recognizing an important colleague who is
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with us or tonight. teacher gress the -- peter is one of three al jazeera journalist who spent 400 days in prison in egypt for the crime of practicing journalism. he is here with us tonight partly because of the advocacy of the white house. thank you, mr. president. [applause] theater, which you stand and be welcomed by this audience? -- peter, would you stand and be recognized by this audience? [applause] peter and his colleagues are out of prison, but they are still in
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the midst of the retrial. they are not free to practice journalism in egypt or in the region. peter was able to sneak a letter out of prison and get it into the hands of journalists in africa . they immediately mobilized a campaign. journalists everywhere joined in. peter believes that is partly why he is here tonight. he told me something this week. he said, it is so important for us to hold together. let's also take a moment now to remember our color makes -- our colleagues. [applause]
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tonight, jason is imprisoned in iran. he is of prime -- comprising -- in prison for collecting information about internal and foreign policies. that is also known as practicing journalism. [applause] we welcome his brother, a tireless advocate for the release of his brother. [applause] he is seated tonight with the washington post. would you police stand and be welcomed by this crowd? [applause]
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i hope you feel tonight the support in this room for your family and your brother. we hold together with jason. [applause] you can show your support for jason by going to change.org and signing a petition that calls for his release change.org free jason. [applause] i plan at this point to stop and ask all of you to take a moment to pay silent tribute to colleagues who have died in the service of journalism. today's terrible earthquake in nepal reminds us so often that the newsweek cover involves the suffering of others. let us for a moment remember our
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colleagues and also those victims of disasters natural and human caused, who too often are the subject of our stories. thank you. i know that each journalist in this room tonight shares a passion to live up to the calling and is committed to standing there watching. i date does not go by when somewhere we in the press are not fighting with government officials over the issue of media access. this dinner -- [applause] this dinner is a celebration of our ability to respect each other while we do this, while we fight to defend the first
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amendment and protect its essential role in our democracy. [applause] at this time, i would like to recognize those who so faithfully keep that watch. i want to take a moment and introduce you. as i do, police stand -- correspondents' dinner stand and remain standing. please stand. [applause] everyone who has ever been elected to our board, please stand. [applause] everyone who has been elected to our board, please stand. all of you who cover the beach today, intend the briefings
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stand and the recognized. [applause] all of you have -- who have ever cover the the beach, attended briefings, served in the pool volunteered for a committee or working group, stand up and the recognized. [applause] if you are a member of the working press, stand and be recognized. [applause] finally, tonight's scholarship recipient, we hope you will stand and keep watch with us today. please stand and be recognized. [applause] ladies and gentlemen, the past, present, and future white house press corps. [applause]
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please turn your attention to the screen for a video tribute to board very special colleagues who retired in the past year. they have carried our banner high and in spite of colleagues for decades. [video clip] >> so many mornings i would come in before sunrise and just and there in the driveway and look at the building and say, i can't believe i'm covering the white house. >> you walked onto the driveway and the was a chill, and you're looking around, i never thought it would be here. >> the news breaks of the white house. the world watches. >> and compton, abc news, white house. >> ann compton with the president. >> at times of great crisis,
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covering the white house is trying to drink from a fire hose, there is so much coming at you. >> i started at the white house on march 17, and on march 19 we were at war. i remember just thinking this is history. i'm not going to see anything like this again. >> it was christmas day 1991, let the kids at home opening the package is on christmas morning and stood on the white house lawn all day long as the calgary job declared the soviet union with resolve. it changed the face of the planet, and to have been there and cover that, and be there when the president flew back from kent david on christmas
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night to address the american people, that day was history. >> joe biden comes out, beaming from ear to ear. >> being in grant park when barack obama was elected president of the united states was a turning him -- moment for the entire country and a kid was never going to cover the white house and always wondered if he would ever see a black president. >> president obama made clear the efforts to build a more perfect union. >> he talks about barack obama's election, but to cover it as it might reporter, to cover the inaugural of black president is something i never thought would happen. it was almost more than i could do with emotionally. >> yes sir. >> the birds are chirping, the sun is out, the flowers are blooming, he calls me after
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several others and calls me for a question. i said, thank you, mr. president and good morning. he said, that's what i like. i started to interrupt and ask my question, and then he says -- the press corps lord, and all i could think of was, mr. president, just let me get my question out. [applause] [laughter] >> traveling with the president can bring surprises. president clinton's trip to the great. reef -- great barrier reef, and it president -- presented president clinton with a baby koala named chelsea. there we were standing around
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president clinton and he thrusts this quality me and says, you want to touch it? it is really soft. [laughter] >> in dublin ireland with the president and the north american summit, fox news. peter and i were in tokyo, and the first president bush got sick and the start reporters were out to dinner with marlon is water. peter and i were the only ones in the press room when the reports came in, and we broke the story. >> when you come the white house, you know there is a doomsday scenario, a kind of nuclear nightmare that the
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government, the white house, and those of us who have to be prepared. when i saw the face of the president of the united states and his chief of staff, he whispered, america is under attack. >> freedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward. >> i give credit to the white house and the chief of staff for saying we will keep one reporter on that plane. i think it was a very important moment for the independent media to be there to assure the whole world how this doomsday scenario was unfolding, and the president was saved, and the country had not been brought to its knees. >> through it all, these reporters fought for access to the commander in chief. >> what strikes me about access
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is now there are so many reporters, so many news organizations, the media universe is so fractured, so splintered, that to accommodate all of them, i think the white house tendency is to push all personal contact with the president and all personal eyewitness to what he is doing back writer and father. >> the media may be fractured but the different branches of the media have consolidated. there are fewer newspapers, pure radio networks, fewer outlets contributed to the white house press corps. there was a time when we had our own -- we put pan am out of business. those days are gone. in a way, i think that gives the white house cover for going past is using social media to
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essentially bypass the filter. >> and now the torch has been passed. >> it has been a time of great reflections as retirement, and a time of great reflection leading up to the decision to retire on our own terms, and i left the white house the same way i came in, always wondering what with the people in my hometown want to know about this particular event that are was covering, and i think that's really what every reporter, no matter what be they are on, has to keep in mind, that you have to make these things relevant, have to put them in context, you've got to make it understandable and meaningful. >> thank you for making it understandable and meaningful. [applause]
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christi: peter window, and roger, which you please stand and be recognized? [applause] thank you for putting that video together. [applause] now it is time to honor this year's white house correspondents color. i would like to invite the first lady to the podium.
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she has been committed to the scholarship presentations every year since 2009, and i know each years winners appreciate the time with her, perhaps more than the tuition assistance we give them. [laughter] and now i would like to invite a bulldog reporter to this podium to present the award. [applause] [laughter] [applause] >> i was going to thank mrs. obama anyway, but i'm going to thank you again very much, mostly for your support of the scholarship program. the central purpose of our group
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home as everybody here knows is to promote the reporters who cover the white house and give robust access so that we can do world what is going on. a very nice side project of hours, one of the best parts is the scholarship program because it really is a wonderful kind of example of continuity from what we are gathered here to do to passing this on to young people who are going to pick up our legacy and run with it and be our future. this year we have a phenomenal group. they are from all over the world. we have scholars from egypt first-generation americans, such a diversity of talent from video, digital, writing, sports. without further ado, we would like to introduce this your
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scholars. as i call you names, please come for trade you get to do both. from howard's university, jordan henry of spring valley, new york. [applause] -- of east orange, new jersey. [applause] brandon montgomery of south carolina. [applause] our recipients of the scholarship from adele university, northwestern university of >> of chino,
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california. -- of chino california. from columbia university sarah of cairo, egypt. [applause] from the university of missouri of columbia, we have seven scholarship winners. there we go. cameron from austin, texas. [applause] abby johnson from huntsville texas. [applause]
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john o'connor from missouri. [applause] travis hartman from brooklyn new york. [applause] lauren from ontario, canada. [applause] elizabeth from bellbrook, ohio. [applause] meredith from cleveland, ohio. [applause] from northwestern university, ezra of chicago. [applause]
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from the university of california at berkeley -- from west covina, california. [applause] from the university of maryland naomi harris of upper marlborough, maryland. [applause] and from our newest scholarship partner, the george washington university, mariana sotomayor from florida. [applause] with that, let's give our scholarship recipients again a big round of applause. [applause] and thanks again to mrs. obama
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for her support of our scholarship program. [applause] christi: thank you margaret and thank you again to the first lady for your support. [applause] now i am honored tonight to present this year's winners of the white house correspondents association journalism awards. these awards are among the most prestigious in our field, and i would like to thank ellen for coordinating the judging. thank you. and to all of you who participated as judges. please turn your attention to the screen for a presentation about the members of the white house press corps who are among this year's winners. [video clip]
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>> the aldo beckman award is for in-depth reporting on the white house. the entry was really outstanding in that regard. >> he has this unique ability to inject history and context into breaking news stories, even as they are unfolding. >> reporting about iraq was amazing, the graveyard of american ambition. >> he was covering george w. bush's presidency, and so when he wrote about iraq, he could talk about not only what happened in the obama and illustration, but he could also look back. >> the singular ingredient that separates him is that sense of depth and perspective that is unusual. it seeing the white house and the president and wider aperture. >> he was able to provide
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readers with insight into why things were happening. that made them a clear winner. caption content and accuracy. visit ncicap.org] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2015] caption content and accuracy. visit ncicap.org] [captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2015] >> it was 8:00 on a friday night. most of the reporters have gone home. all of a sudden, there was dispersed of commotion. the white house is evacuated. >> as they came back in, he got the official word that no big deal, a fence jumper. he said, no, this is not normal. >> he had a secret service contact who told him that the fence jumper had made it across the white house lawn and into the white house itself. >> that instinct, quickly working to sources to find the female white house official who could confirm what really happened, set his reporting apartheid -- reporting apart.
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>> josh got on top of it. you feel very comfortable knowing that josh is on the story, because he knows the story will be covered well. ♪ >> jim breaking the story from miami. good morning. >> this it is a historic day between united states and cuban. >> there's no better feeling when you turn on the tv at 8:45 a.m. and jim is breaking the story. >> jim not only broke the news, he followed the story throughout the day while traveling from havana. it was amazing reporting. >> jim, who broke the story from computer -- cuba tonight. >> a rare sense of optimism. for the first time, there seems
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to be hope that a country so close and distant will become a country close. >> because of his decision to move to where the news was, he had video that nobody else had a picture is worth a thousand words, and he had the pictures nobody else had. >> this was after years of work. cultivating sources, so it was no surprise at all the gym would win this award. [applause] christi: congratulations to those three, and to all of this year's winners. thank you jordan and abc news for putting that video together. [applause] and now to present the awards he's a writer broadcaster welcome him to the podium. [applause] >> i have the answer to the
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burning question that all of you are asking yourselves. who am i wearing. [laughter] brooks brothers is the short answer. for the photographers, the long answer is this, free jason. [applause] there are more of these buttons available. i urge you to get one. let's work this case as best we can. i also want to do something that is all the program. christi persons, our spectacular president, gave a rousing -- call to arms, and many of us stood justifiably and applauded all of us who cover the or have covered the, christi parsons you are an exceptional leader of this board. i am honored to work with you. stand and be recognized. [applause]
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you saw the video, we will get to the award winners in a moment. there's another award that honors excellent to news coverage of significant national or regional nature. the 2000 -- $2500 award, we have two winners, one group from the wall street journal, gary feels -- field, john, rob, coulter jones. [applause] our judges said this about their series called america's rap sheet. they said it explored the roots and consequences of a country's current policing crisis, illuminating the dysfunction of the system that contributes to the disenfranchisement of our most honorable citizens. though award winner, ladies and
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gentlemen, a round of applause please. [applause] when there -- we are waiting for the next award winner. that would be the washington post. [applause] i think we all know what she is getting this award for. breaking news coverage of problems within the secret service that our judges found to be compelling and illuminating for many reasons. carol leoni, congratulations. [applause]
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you saw the video. it has been around since 1970, they award honors excellent and reporting about the white house under breaking news pressure. josh lederman of the associated press. [applause] i'm delighted to say that there is a broadcast component to the ward. the recipient, as you saw in the video, abc's jim allen.
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[applause] before we hand out this last award, i really want to hear cheer from the new york times table. i really want to hear it now. peter maker of the new york times, ladies and gentlemen. [applause]
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one last round of applause for these outstanding journalists. [applause] christi: thank you, major. and now what is by tradition our only toast of the evening. i first started covering barack obama in 1997. that is when he showed up at the illinois statehouse to take his seat in the illinois senate. my keen political intuition kicked in right away. i was one of the first to see it. if you work hard and really applied himself, he could go all the way. he could one day be mayor of the
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city of chicago. [laughter] [applause] he -- keep shooting for the stars. it's a big job. a lot has changed since then. for one thing, he is much harder to get on the phone. [laughter] it is harder to get an interview one-on-one until tonight. [laughter] mr. president, we appreciate your presence here, and we recognize that your information of the importance of the free and adversarial press. [laughter] [applause] ladies and gentlemen, police joining, raise a glass and the toast, to the president of the united states of america. the podium is yours. [applause]
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>> the president often criticized for his caution is now doing things his own way. he's trying to deal with china. we will see how far he can take it. ♪ i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care ♪ ♪ [laughter] [applause] pres. obama: good evening. welcome to the white house correspondents' dinner, a night when washington celebrates itself. [laughter] somebody has to do it. [laughter]
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and welcome to the fourth quarter of my presidency. [laughter] it's true, i -- [laughter] that was michelle cheering. [applause] [laughter] the fact is i feel more loose and relaxed than ever. those joe biden shoulder massages are like magic. [laughter] you should try one. oh, you have. [laughter] i am determined to make the most of every moment i have left. after the midterm elections, my advisors ask me, mr. president do you have a bucket list? i said well, i have something that rhymes with bucket list. [laughter]
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[applause] take executive action on immigration? bucket. [laughter] regulations? bucket. it is the right thing to do. [laughter] and my new attitude is paying off. look at my cuba policy, the castro brothers are here tonight. [laughter] welcome to america. what's up question mark -- up? the castro's are from texas? hello. anyway, being president is never easy. i still have to fix a broken immigration system, issue veto
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threats, negotiate with iran, all while finding time to play golf five times a day. [laughter] [applause] it is no wonder that people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me. i look so old john boehner has invited benjamin netanyahu to speak at my funeral. [laughter] meanwhile, michelle has not aged a day. [applause] i asked her what her secret is. she says, fresh fruit and vegetables. it is aggravating. [laughter]
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[applause] the fact is though at this point , my legacy is finally beginning to take shape. the economy is getting better. nine and death in 10 americans -- nine in 10 americans have health coverage. you no longer have to worry about losing your insurance if you lose your job. you are welcome, democrats. [laughter] [applause] look, it is true that i have not managed to make everybody happy. six years into my presidency, some people say i am arrogant and aloof condescending. some people are so dumb. [laughter] no wonder i don't mingle.
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that's not all people say about me. a few weeks ago, dick cheney says that he thinks i am the worst president of his lifetime. which is interesting, because i think dick cheney is the worst president of my lifetime. [laughter] [applause] quiet a coincidence. [laughter] i mean everybody has something to say these days. mike huckabee recently said people should not join our military until a true conservative is elected president. think about that. it was so outrageous, 47 ayatollahs wrote is a letter trying to explain to my huckabee how our system works. [laughter] it gets worse. just this week, michele bachmann -- actually predicted that i
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would bring about the debacle and of days. -- the biblical in the days. [laughter] now that is a legacy. [laughter] that's big. i mean, lincoln, washington, they did not do that. [laughter] in fact, i have to put this aside and stay focused on my job. because for many americans this is still a time of deep uncertainty. for example, i have one friend just a few weeks ago she was making millions of dollars in year and she is now living out of a fan -- van in iowa. [laughter]
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meanwhile, back here in our nations capital, we are dealing with the challenges. i'm happy to report that the secret service thanks to excellent reporting by white house correspondents, they are really focusing on some of the issues that have come up, and they finally fitted out a foolproof way to keep people off my lawn. -- finally figured out a full proof way to keep people off my lawn. [laughter] it works. it's not just fence jumpers some of you know that a few months ago a drunk crash landed. that was serious. don't worry. we have installed a new state-of-the-art security system. [laughter] you know what question mark let
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me set the record straight. i see joe sometimes -- i teased joe sometimes, but he has been at my site for seven years. i love that man. [applause] he's not just a great vice president, he is a great friend. we have gotten so close they won't service pizza in indiana anymore. -- serve us pizza in indiana anymore. [laughter] i want to thank our host for the evening, the incredibly talented sicily strong -- cicily strong. [applause] she impersonates cnn anchor, which is surprising. usually the only people in president journalists on cnn are journalists on cnn. [laughter]
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abc is here with some of the stars from his new comedy, blackish. [applause] it's a great show, but i should give abc fair warning, being blackish only makes you popular for so long. [laughter] there is a shelf life to that. [laughter] as always, the reporters here have had a lot to cover over the past year. on the east coast, one big story with the brutal winter. the polar vortex -- they renamed it msnbc. [laughter] of course, let's face it, there is one issue on every reporters 1 -- mind you that is 2016.
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we have seen some missteps. jeb bush identified himself as hispanic in 2009. you know what question mark i understand. it is an innocent mistake and it reminds me when i identified myself president obama: ted cruz said that denying the existence of climate change made him like galileo. [laughter] now that's not really an apt comparison. galileo believed the earth revolves around the sun. ted cruz believes it revolves around ted cruz. [laughter] i want to point out -- when a guy who has his face on a home poster cause you self-centered
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you know you have a problem. the narcissism is creeping up a little too high. [laughter] meanwhile, rick santorum announced he would not attend a same-sex wedding of her friend or loved one. gays and lesbians responded that's not going to be a problem. [laughter] [applause] don't sweat that one. donald trump is here. still. [laughter] anyway it's amazing how time flies. soon the first presidential contest will take place, and i cannot wait to see who the koch
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brothers pick. marco rubio, rand paul, ted cruz, jeb bush, scott walker, who will finally get that read rose. the winner gets a billion-dollar war chest. the runner-up gets to the bachelor on the next season of "the national or." but seriously a billion dollars from just two guys. does that feel a little excessive? it's almost insulting to the candidates. thwe koch brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars to get people to like one of them. i know i have raised a lot of money, too. in all fairness, my middle name is hussein. what's their excuse?
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[laughter] [applause] the trail hasn't been easy for democrats, either. hillary's e-mails got her in trouble. frank lee, i thought her private instagram would cause more problems. [laughter] hillary kicks things off by going completely unrecognized at a chipotle. not to be outdone, mark o'malley went completely unrecognized at a mark o'malley campaign intent. -- campaign event. bernie sanders might run. i like ernie, he's interesting
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guy. some folks want to see a pot smoking socialist in the white house. we could get a third obama term after all. [laughter] [applause] it could happen. i want to close a more serious note. i often joke about me and the press. what they say doesn't bother me. i'm a mellow sort of guy. that's why i invited luther, or anger translator, to join me tonight. [laughter] luther: hold on to your
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lily-white butts. president obama: traditions like this dinner are important. luther: i mean, really. why am i required to come to it? do you really want to do this? president obama: we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues. luther: and we can terrify old white people. [laughter] ridiculous. and thank you so much for the wall-to-wall ebola coverage. we were one step away from "the walking dead." that was awesome. by the way, you don't have
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ebola. president obama: i appreciate the work that you do. luther: ya'll remember when we had that whole in the gulf of mexico? and i plugged that? which obamas katrina was that one? i can't remember. president obama: protecting democracy is more important than ever. the donor who gave ted cruz $6 million was exercising free speech. luther: speech like this, i just wasted $6 million. [laughter] president obama: hillary will have to rage huge sums of money too. luther: oh, yeah. she gonna get that money. [laughter]
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[applause] she is coming to westoros. watch out. president obama: it creates problems for democracy. we need to stay focused on big challenges, like climate change. luther: california is bone dry. it looks like -- ya'll think bradley cooper came here to talk to a judge? he needs a glass of water. [laughter] president obama: the science is clear. nine out of the 10 hottest years ever were in the past decade.
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rising seas, violent storms. luther: this he does, sweaty people on the train stanking it up, it's just nasty. president obama: every scientist says we need to act. the pentagon says it is a national security risk. we have elected officials throwing snowballs in the senate. it is crazy. luther: it's ok, i got this. president obama: what kind of shortsighted, irresponsible -- luther: whoa, whoa. [laughter] [applause] luther: all due respect sir, you do not need an anger translator,
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you need counseling. i and out of here, man. [laughter] [applause] president obama: luther, my anger translator and ladies and gentlemen. [applause] now that i have that off my chest. investigative journalism explanatory journalism, journalism that exposes corruption injustice, and gives voice to the marginalized, the voiceless. that is power. is a privilege.
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it is as important to america's trajectory, to our values and ideals, than anything we can do in elected office. we were member journalists we lost over the past year. journalists like james foley, murdered for nothing than trying to shine a light in the world's darkest corners. [applause] we remember the journalists unjustly imprisoned around the world. [applause] for nine months, jason has been in prison for nothing more than writing about the hopes and fears of the iranian people. his brother is here tonight, and
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i have told them personally we will not rest until we bring him home to his family, safe and sound. [applause] these journalists do their work as so much more than a profession, and indispensable pillar of society. i want to give a toast to them. i raise a glass to them and all of you for the words of the american foreign correspondents' dorothy thompsons. it is a way to liberty is exercised that determines whether liberty itself survives. thank you for your devotion and exercising liberty and telling our american story.
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god bless you, god bless the united states of america. [applause] christi: let me take a moment to acknowledge several people whose assistance and friendship has been so valuable during this year. i want to thank the people sitting at the head table the eight members of the board. they fight hard every day at the white house to do their jobs with excellence in to help you do yours. [applause]
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i especially want to thank carol lee. nobody fights harder than carol. she is a fierce advocate for press freedom and she will be your president next year. [applause] i want to acknowledge our incredible executive director, julia. julia, thank you for keeping this association's heart in the right place for so many years. [applause] thank you, george, our lawyer. for your insightful counsel and devotion to our core mission of fighting for openness and transparency. i think the tribune publishing bureau for their support especially david.
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and my white house colleague kathleen hennessey. i think the visionary editors. all of us are fortunate to work for weiss, corporate leaders attribute publishing. finally, my family visiting from alabama and tennessee. i say high to my dad who is watching this on fox news. [laughter] and my family right here in washington d.c. let me introduce our next speaker, cecily strong. [applause] like the president and the first lady, she is from chicago.
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she came through second city comedy, and is now one of the most recognized members of the saturday night live cast. she is no stranger to political journalism or it her father was an ap bureau chief in the illinois statehouse. i'm sure that tonight, he is a proud father. bill, welcome. [applause] at last year's dinner, steve drew attention to the increasing diversity of the white house press corps area tonight, we strike a blow for diversity and political commentary. i don't know why, but women almost never serve in a position that cecily assumes tonight. it is about time. [applause] cecily, i gladly welcome you to
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this podium. [applause] cecily: feels right to have a woman follow president obama doesn't it? good evening, i am cecily strong. you may know me from "saturday night live," or as the ethnically ambiguous girl from every college brochure. i am a mash-up of all the people in hillary's announcement video. [laughter] i'm also the first straight women to host this in 20 years so, we finally made it, straight people. where my heterosexuals at, huh? [laughter] just because i am a woman doesn't mean i'm going to go easy.
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i'm going to go easy on you people the government brain is smaller. [laughter] i feel very lucky to be here. last year's host, joel mchale, proves that speaking at this dinner is an amazing opportunity that can take you from starring on a show on nbc all the way to starring on that same show, but on yahoo! [laughter] i took amtrak here. it was way more luxurious than i thought. did you know they have massage seats available? all you have to do is sit in front of joe biden. those hands don't get tired, somehow. i hope everybody enjoyed dinner. we try to get pizza to cater this event, but they hired a rumor that party frank might be here, so thanks a lot, barney.
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we should of had that world famous indiana pizza. i can make that joke about indiana because i am from illinois. [laughter] the white house correspondents dinner is a chance for all of you to unwind, relax, and left as soon as you notice someone slightly more powerful than you laughing. [laughter] just so weird to be up. since i'm only a comedian, i'm not going to try to tell you politicians how to do politics or whatever. that's not my job. that would be like you guys telling me what to do with my body, i mean, can you imagine? [laughter] [applause] tonight's event is being broadcast on c-span. to viewers watching at home hello. to most viewers watching at home on c-span, meow.
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[laughter] if you don't know how to find c-span, you just press the guide button on your remote, and hit page up into your thumb cramps up. i just wanted your camera check. ok camera one. and that's it. [laughter] it is great to be here at the washington hilton. it's something is something of a prostitute might say to a congressman. the washington hilton, you guys. man, if these walls could talk they would probably say, clean me. it's crazy to think that our president is right here in the
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ballroom of the washington hilton. it's even crazy to think that our vice president is right now and the ball pit washington chucky cheese. but seriously, the washington hilton is great. i bet that, when the president walks in his on the bellhop's, he thought, some decent security. [laughter] i'm just kidding, let's give it up for the secret service. yeah. [applause] they are the only law enforcement agency in the country that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot. are you saying "boo?" or "true?" you are all in this together, from the networks at front, to the internet at the back, all
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the way to the print journalists who are busing the tables. [laughter] msnbc is here. i love msnbc. even their call letters are long-winded. just a great variety of shows. rachel maddow, locked up abroad lock up suv lock up en espanol. fox news is here. fox news has been losing a lot of viewers lately, and may they rest in peace. that's nice to say. it's all just hot blonde ladies and all dues. it looks at a party scene from weekend at bernie's. you've got to give it up for cnn.
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it's comforting to know that whenever a big story breaks, i can turn to cnn and watch anthony bore date eat a cricket. -- anthony bourdain eat a cricket. [laughter] buzz feed is here, i can show you a listicle of 17 reasons why they shouldn't be. usa today is here. they are only here because they slipped through the hotel door. that's usa today, unless today is saturday or sunday. [laughter] npr is here. npr had a lot of success with the "serial" podcast, which
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finally answer the question, what would it be like if somebody whispered to me an episode of dateline? next season, pick somebody who definitely did it, like amanda knox. nbc is here. even us at snl got criticized this year for making fun of isis. if anybody is guilty of taking isis to lightly, it's them. you know? what can i say about brian williams. nothing, because i work for nbc. [laughter] [applause]
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there are so many stars from so many great shows here. we are in a golden age of television. i still see so many negative or trails of black and gay people. i mean it's 2015, and we still have characters like john lemon it's ridiculous. the cast of blackish is here which i think is inappropriate after the way they treated those whales at sea world. [laughter] the cast of game of thrones is here, and they tell me that even they have never seen this many nerds before. naomi campbell is here. naomi, you are lucky hillary is not here, as if you through your blackberry at her she would delete everything right off of it. [laughter]
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hillary said she used her private e-mails because she didn't want to use more than two devices. if that sounds familiar, it's also one of the roles from the sex contract in 50 shades of grey. the cast of downton abbey is here. thanks for the generous donation -- speaking of aaron, you may notice i'm a little tan. i just got back from the most fabulous trip that aaron took me on, and i from a instagram photos to share with you, so. you are probably familiar with this picture of him surfing in hawaii. see, there's me. i didn't even need a surfboard, i just use his abs. then he went diving into this swimming pool he had built. it hurt when i landed. here is me and aaron skydiving.
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he said his made his own parachute out of gifts his constituents made him. his netsuite? -- isn't that sweet? here we are at the eiffel tower. paris is so beautiful. mr. president, you should think about going there sometime. i hear the weather is nice in january. here we are in our trip to california. we must have done this for hours and hours, just so much wasted water. fun. here we are at his own dinosaur island. here we are after hunting the dinosaurs. is that -- brian williams? what you doing, you rascal? aaron and i, we had so much fun. it was not romantic, it was
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strictly a friendship trip, he might in the every day. just because aaron schock resigned, it doesn't mean that are smoking hot congressman left. looking out tonight, i see so many tens. well, washington tens, but new york for his. urs. harry reid was a boxer for he spent five terms as a punching bag. one of my favorite things that happened in congress this year was when a senator brought in a snowball to prove that climate change isn't real. i mean, that blew my mind. i don't even need to see the other science projects. first prize, jim.
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you got size to life man! so cool. senator tom cotton got other senators to sign an open letter he wrote to iran. the most surprising thing is that a guy named tom cotton is a u.s. senator and not a rabbit from an old racist disney cartoon. in tom cotton's defense, he was just trying to repair america's strain relationship with israel. he doesn't need to worry about that. all relationship will be better in the next administration, as soon as israel is a generous donation to the clinton foundation. "true?" or "boo?"
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now, it's been a great year for women, as always. [laughter] hobby lobby said they didn't want to pay for health care if it included things like contraceptive. which is weird, because all i asked was what i'll is the yarn in? i do love hobby lobby. i weather this morning, and i bought the cutest wicker basket to hold all of my morning after pills. [laughter] a representative recently asked if gynecological exams could be conducted by a woman. on camera, and now he and his wife have a perfectly good -- ruined ago pro. -- ruined a go-pro. so much to talk about this year. the big story, the republicans
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finally succeeded, and obama is being forced out of office in 18 months. you did it! so many great people have already announced they are running. it's like, who is better than marco rubio? hillary. who's better than rand paul? hillary. who's better on the economy than hillary? bill. hillary's campaign slogan is it's your time. which i assume she says herself in the mirror what she dead lists 200 pounds. i'm excited about hillary running. i'm not sure she's excited about having to run, i think she feels the same way meryl streep feels which he has to audition for something -- " are you kidding
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mee?" this next part is a repeat after me. i want all the media to put their hands up and swear something this election season ok? i solemnly swear not to talk about hillary's appearance because that is not journalism. [laughter] [applause] also, cecily strong looks great tonight. [laughter] i don't want you to take any of this as an endorsement for hillary clinton, because i would never blindly endorse a candidate i do not play on snl. hillary clinton has her work cut off for her. her democratic challengers are a who's who of who's that?
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to a them are characters from the adventures of huckleberry finn, but you didn't even notice, did you? let's not forget martin o'malley. i don't have anything to add that's just his actual campaign slogan. let's not forget martin o'malley. [laughter] lincoln chafee t running for president is like watching a dog look for its owner. a lot of people want elizabeth warren to run, but many think she is too idealistic and her policies are too liberal. but look at president obama. he didn't end up doing any of that stuff. [laughter]
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the republican field is diverse including people like ted cruz, rand paul, and if people like chris christie, who is a democrat. jeb bush is probably in the race. the presidential race, not hispanic race. that was an accident. jeb bush -- marco rubio is running. when jeb bush found out he said, ay, dios mio. he makes mitt romney look relaxed on the air. michael gets comfortable before he gets on camera to endorse jet. -- endorse jebb.
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chris christie has said that he will crack down on legalized marijuana, because he believes it is a gateway drug. so, like a fridge to other drugs? and he wants to shut down a bridge? polls show that his approval ratings in new jersey are low. the only thing new jerseyans approve of less is "that dominican guy." ted cruz, it's like the right-wing thought, what's the opposite of a black president? how about a canadian let you know who will never be president? is true. he was born in canada, a child of cuban immigrants. i can't believe he wasn't in hillary's announcement video. [laughter]
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seems like a lot of work just to be a fox news pundit. rand paul has announced he is taking over the not being president business, and yes, that is rand, as in, he didn't get elected, but at least he "rand." he is a libertarian, which is just a republican you have to block on twitter. rand paul's campaign slogan is defeat the washington machine unleash the american dream. the american dream, of course, is the model name of rand paul's wigs. this talk about the most important person in the room, my leader, the person i am so glad is in the white house, michelle obama. [laughter] [applause] michelle, take care of that garden while you can, because you know bill is going to turn
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that thing into an above ground pool. [laughter] seriously, michelle obama, what an amazing woman. harvard educated lawyer, and advocate for lgbt writes, and the founder of the let's move campaign to combat child obesity. it is a dream to sit next year, but it's a nightmare to eat next year. -- next to you. when i got up to go to the bathroom for like 20 minutes? i hate a cheese pizza behind the toilet and there, and i ate it. i'm sorry. [laughter] and of course, mr. president. thank you for taking time away from being on jimmy kimmel to be here. i know this must have cost a ton of food stamps, said thank you. i can say that, a lot of you probably don't know this, but obama and i grew up together in chicago.
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i remember when we used to go down to the basketball court. i would lace up a pair of jordans, he would sit on my moms jeans. we would just miss three-pointers until sundown. of course, that when it have to stop and pray to mecca. those were simpler times. now you have problems with congress, vladimir putin israel. you said it yourself. we can't solve problems by holding hands and singing come by. kumbaya, is a village in africa he was born. after six years in office, your approval rating is at 48%. your gray hair is that 85%. your hair is so white, it can talk back to the police. [laughter] [applause]
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we will high-five about that later. i bet you wish you were coming into office in 2016 is that of 2008. mr. president, you probably get this a lot, you are a lot like madonna. you have both given this country so much but you gotta stop. mr. president, it was an honor to be here tonight. thank you to the white house correspondents'association, whatever that is. i have to finish up, as the exterminators need to get into this room. i have a bathroom pizza to finish. thank you so much, good night. [laughter] [applause]
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christi: cecily strong, thank you. wonderful. now to bring our evening to a close, i would like for you all to remain seated while carol lee escorts the president and the first lady from the stage. [applause]
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[applause]
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[captions copyright national cable satellite corp. 2015] [captioning performed by the national captioning institute, which is responsible for its caption content and accuracy. visit ncicap.org]
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>> you are looking live at the white house correspondents' dinner coming to a close. we began coverage this evening with arrivals on the red carpet. if you missed it, you can see it online. we will air the entire program later this evening, a little bit after midnight. first, we will show your marks from president obama and cecily strong. christi: raise a glass in toast to the president of the united states of america.
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the podium is now yours. [video clip] ♪ i don't care ♪ ♪ i love it ♪ ♪ i don't care ♪ ♪ i love it, i love it ♪ ♪ i don't care ♪ ♪ i love it ♪ [laughter] president obama: good evening everybody. the night when washington celebrates its self. somebody has to do it.
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welcome to the fourth quarter of my presidency. it's true. that was michelle cheering. [laughter] i feel more loose and relaxed than ever. those joe biden shoulder massages are like magic. you should try one. oh, you have. [laughter] i am determined to make the most of every moment i have left. after the midterm elections, my advisors asked me if i had a bucket list for it i said, i have something that rhymes with bucket list. [laughter] [applause]
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executive action on immigration? bucket. regulations? bucket. my new attitude is paying off. look at my cuba policy. the castro brothers are here tonight. welcome to america, amigos. que pasa? what? if the castro's from texas? oh. hi julian. anyway. being president is never easy. i still have to fix the broken immigration system, issue veto
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threats, negotiate with iran all while finding time to pray five times a day. [laughter] [applause] it is no wonder that people keep pointing out how the presidency has aged me. i look so old, john boehner has ordered invited to speak at my funeral. [laughter] meanwhile, michelle has not aged a day. i ask her secret, she just says, fresh fruits and vegetables. it is aggravating.
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my legacy is finally beginning to take shape. the economy is getting better. nine out of 10 americans have health coverage. [applause] thanks to obamacare, you no longer have to worry about losing insurance if you lose your job. you are welcome, senate democrats. [laughter] look, i have not managed to make everybody happy. six years into my presidency, some people still say i am arrogant and aloof. condescending. some people are so dumb. [laughter] no wonder i don't meet with them. that's that all people say about
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me. a few weeks ago, dick cheney said, he thinks i am the worst president of his lifetime. which is interesting, because i think dick cheney is the worst president of my lifetime. [laughter] [applause] what a coincidence. everybody has some to say these days. my company recently said, people shouldn't join our military until a true conservative is elected president. think about that. it was so outrageous, 47 senators will that a letter trying to explain to huckabee how our system works. [applause] [laughter] it gets worse. just this week, michele bachmann
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actually predicted that i would bring about the biblical end of days. that's a legacy. [laughter] [applause] that's big. i mean, lincoln washington, they didn't do that. [applause] i have to say focused on my job. for many americans, this is still a time of deep uncertainty. for example, i have one friend, just a few weeks ago, she was making millions of dollars a year, and she is now living out of a van in iowa. [laughter] [applause]
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meanwhile, back in our capital we are always dealing with new challenges. i'm happy to report that the secret service -- they are focusing on some of the issues that have come up. they have finally figured out a full proof way to keep people off my lawn. [laughter] it works. it's not just fence jumpers. a few months ago, a drone crashed landed out back. that was pretty serious, but don't worry, we installed a new state-of-the-art security system. let me set the record straight.
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joe biden has been in my side for seven years. i love that man. [applause] he's not just a great vice president, he is a great friend. we've got some float -- we have gotten so close, in some places in indiana, they will not service pizza anymore. [laughter] [applause] i want to thank our host for the evening, a chicago girl, the incredibly talented cecily strong. [applause] on snl she impersonates brooke baldwin, which is surprising because usually the only people impersonating journalists on cnn are journalists on cnn. [laughter]
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abc is here with stars from black's. i have to give abc awarding, being blackish only makes you popular for so long. there is a shelf life to that thing. as always, the reporters here had a lot to cover over the past year on the east coast. one big story was the brutal winter, the polar vortex caused to so many record lows, they renamed it msnbc. of course, let's face it, there is one issue on every reporters mind, that is 2016. we have artie seen missteps.
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turns out jeb bush identifies himself as hispanic. you know what? i understand, it's a mistake. it reminds me of when i identified myself as un-american in 1961. -- myself as american in 1961. ted cruz said that denying climate change made him like galileo. [laughter] now that's not really an apt comparison. galileo believed the earth revolves around the sun. ted cruz believes it revolves around ted cruz. [laughter] i want to point out -- when a guy who has his face on a home poster cause you self-centered you know you have a problem. the narcissism is creeping up a
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little too high. [laughter] meanwhile, rick santorum announced he would not attend a same-sex wedding of her friend or loved one. to which gays and lesbians responded, that's not going to be a problem. [laughter] [applause] don't sweat that one. and donald trump is here. still. [laughter] anyway, it's amazing how time flies. soon the first presidential contest will take place, and i cannot wait to see who the koch brothers pick. it's exciting.
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marco rubio, rand paul, ted cruz, jeb bush, scott walker, who will finally get that red rose? the winner gets a billion-dollar war chest. the runner-up gets to the bachelor on the next season of "the bachelor." but seriously, two billion dollars from just two guys. does that feel a little excessive? it's almost insulting to the candidates. the koch brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars to get folks to like one of them. i know i have raised a lot of money, too. in all fairness, my middle name
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is hussain. what's their excuse? [laughter] [applause] the trail hasn't been easy for democrats, either. as we know hillary's e-mails got , her in trouble. frankly, i thought her private instagram would cause more problems. [laughter] hillary kicks things off by going completely unrecognized at a chipotle. not to be outdone, mark o'malley went completely unrecognized at a martin o'malley campaign event. bernie sanders might run.
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i like bernie, he's interesting guy. some folks want to see a pot smoking socialist in the white house. we could get a third obama term after all. [laughter] [applause] it could happen. i want to close a more serious note. i often joke about tensions between me and the press. what they say doesn't bother me. i understand we have an adversarial system. i'm a mellow sort of guy. that's why i invited luther, my anger translator, to join me tonight. [laughter] [applause] luther: hold on to your lily-white butts.
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president obama: traditions like this dinner are important. luther: i mean, really. what is this dinner? and why am i required to come to it? bush did you really want to do this? president obama: we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues. luther: and we can count on fox news to terrify some old white people with some nonsense. ya'll is ridiculous. [laughter] cnn, thank you so much for the wall-to-wall ebola coverage. we were one step away from "the walking dead." that was awesome.
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oh and by the way, you don't have ebola. president obama: i appreciate the work that you do. luther: ya'll remember when we luther: ya'll remember when we had that big old hole in the gulf of mexico? and i plugged that? which obamas katrina was that one? i can't remember. president obama: protecting democracy is more important than ever. the supreme court ruled that the donor who gave ted cruz $6 million was exercising free speech. luther: speech like this, i just wasted $6 million. [laughter] president obama: hillary will have to raise huge sums of money, too. luther: oh, yeah. she gonna get that money. she gonna get all the money.
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[laughter] [applause] khalesi is coming to westoros. watch out. president obama: it creates problems for democracy. luther: and that's why we running for a third term. president obama: no, were not. we need to stay focused on big challenges, like climate change. luther: california is bone dry. it looks like a trailer for a new "mad max" movie up in there. ya'll think bradley cooper came here to talk to a judge? he needs a glass of water. [laughter] president obama: the science is clear. nine out of the 10 hottest years ever were in the past decade.
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luther: now i'm not a scientist but i know how to count to 10. president obama: rising seas violent storms. >> look at what is happening now. every sign says we need to act. miami floods on a sunny day. we've got elected officials throwing snowballs in the senate. it is crazy. what about our kids? what kind of stupid shortsighted irresponsible -- >> whoa, whoa. hey . >> with all due respect. you don't need a translator.
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i'm out of here. i'm gone. [applause] [laughter] president obama: a luther, my translator. [applause] now that i got that off my chest. [laughter] investigative journalism explanatory journalism, journalism that exposes corruption and injustice, and gives voice to the different and marginalized, the voiceless that is powerful.
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it is a privilege. it is as important to our values and ideals as anything that we could do. we remember journalist we lost over the past year. james foley. murdered for nothing more than trying to china a light into the darkest corners of the world. we remember the journalists unjustly imprisoned, including our own. for nine months, jason has been in prison and tell ron for nothing but writing about the fears of the iranian people. as was already mentioned, i have
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told him personally we will not rest until we bring him home to his family. [applause] these journalists do their work as so much more than a profession, and indispensable pillar of society. i want to give a toast to them. i raise a glass to them and all of you for the words of the american foreign correspondents' dorothy thompsons. -- thompson. it is a way to liberty is exercised that determines whether liberty itself survives. thank you for your devotion and exercising liberty and telling our american story. god bless you, god bless the united states of america. [applause]
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[applause] cecily strong: it feels right to follow president obama. you may know me from saturday night live or as the ethnically ambiguous girl from every college brochure. i'm a mashup of everyone in hillary clinton's announcement
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video. i'm the first straight woman to hosted this in 20 years. we finally made it straight people. [laughter] where my heterosexuals at, huh? [laughter] you lying. i do need to say something. just because i am a woman doesn't mean i'm going to go easy. i'm going to go easy on you people the government brain is smaller. -- because my brain is smaller. [laughter] i feel very lucky to be here. last year's host, joel mchale, proves that speaking at this dinner is an amazing opportunity that can take you from starring on a show on nbc all the way to starring on that same show, but on yahoo! [laughter] i took amtrak here. it was way more luxurious than i thought. did you know they have massage seats available? all you have to do is sit in
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front of joe biden. those hands don't get tired, somehow. i hope everybody enjoyed dinner. we try to get pizza to cater this event, but they hired a rumor that party frank might be here, so thanks a lot, barney. we should of had that world famous indiana pizza. i can make that joke about indiana because i am from illinois. [laughter] the white house correspondents dinner is a chance for all of you to unwind, relax, and left as soon as you notice someone slightly more powerful than you laughing. [laughter] just so weird to be up. since i'm only a comedian, i'm not going to try to tell you politicians how to do politics or whatever. that's not my job. that would be like you guys telling me what to do with my body, i mean, can you imagine?
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[laughter] [applause] tonight's event is being broadcast on c-span. to viewers watching at home, hello. to most viewers watching at home on c-span, meow. [laughter] if you don't know how to find c-span, you just press the guide button on your remote, and hit page up into your thumb cramps up. i just wanted your camera check. ok, camera one. and that's it. [laughter] that's all the cameras. it is great to be here at the washington hilton. it's something is something of a prostitute might say to a congressman.
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the washington hilton, you guys. man, if these walls could talk, they would probably say, clean me. it's crazy to think that our president is right here in the ballroom of the washington hilton. it's even crazy to think that our vice president is right now and the ball pit washington chucky cheese. but seriously, the washington hilton is great. i bet that, when the president walks in his on the bellhop's, he thought, some decent security. [laughter] i'm just kidding, let's give it up for the secret service. yeah. [applause] i don't want to be too hard. they are the only law enforcement agency in the
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country that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot. are you saying "boo?" or "true?" tonight brings together some be typical with its -- different ways to bring the news. you are all in this together from the networks at front, to the internet at the back, all the way to the print journalists who are busing the tables. [laughter] msnbc is here. i love msnbc. even their call letters are long-winded. just a great variety of shows. rachel maddow, locked up abroad, lock up suv, lock up en espanol. they show so many prison documentaries they are making at scholz get a tear trough tattoo. -- ed scholz get a teardrop
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tattoo. fox news is here. fox news has been losing a lot of viewers lately, and may they rest in peace. that's nice to say. that channel is hot blonde ladies. it looks at a party scene from weekend at bernie's. you've got to give it up for cnn. it's comforting to know that whenever a big story breaks, i can turn to cnn and watch anthony board day -- bordain eat a cricket. [laughter] buzz feed is here, i can show you a listicle of 17 reasons why they shouldn't be. don't forget, usa today is here. they are only here because they slipped through the hotel door.
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[laughter] that's usa today, unless today is saturday or sunday. [laughter] npr is here. npr had a lot of success with the "serial" podcast, which finally answered the question what would it be like if somebody whispered to me an episode of dateline? i'm so sorry you were not able to get your plus one out of jail in time. she must be so pissed about the jinx. it is serial but with an ending. next season pick somebody who , definitely did it, like amanda knox. there is dna on the knife you guys. nbc is here. even us at snl got criticized this year for making fun of isis. i think that is unfair. if anybody is guilty of taking isis to lightly, it's them.
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you know? what can i say about brian williams. nothing, because i work for nbc. [laughter] [applause] there are so many stars from so many great shows here. we are in a golden age of television. i still see so many negative or portrayals of black and gay people. i mean, it's 2015, and we still have characters like john lemon, it's ridiculous. -- don lemon, it's ridiculous. the cast of blackish is here which i think is inappropriate, after the way they treated those whales at sea world. [laughter] that even they have never seen
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-- the cast of game of thrones is here, and they tell me that even they have never seen this many nerds before. naomi campbell is here. naomi, you are lucky hillary is not here, as if you through your blackberry at her, she would delete everything right off of it. [laughter] hillary said she used her private e-mails because she didn't want to use more than two devices. if that sounds familiar, it's also one of the roles from the sex contract in 50 shades of grey. the cast of downton abbey is here. thanks for the generous donation -- [indiscernible] speaking of aaron schock, you may notice i'm a little tan. i just got back from the most fabulous trip that aaron took me on, and i from a instagram photos to share with you, so. you are probably familiar with this picture of him surfing in
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hawaii. see, there's me. i didn't even need a surfboard, i just use his abs. then he went diving into this swimming pool he had built. it hurt when i landed. here is me and aaron skydiving. he said his made his own parachute out of gifts his constituents made him. isn't that sweet? here we are at the eiffel tower. paris is so beautiful. mr. president, you should think about going there sometime. i hear the weather is nice in january. here we are in our trip to california. we must have done this for hours and hours, just so much wasted water. fun. here we are at his own dinosaur island.
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here we are after hunting the dinosaurs. is that -- brian williams? what you doing, you rascal? aaron and i, we had so much fun. it was not romantic, it was strictly a friendship trip, he reminded me every day. just because aaron schock resigned, it doesn't mean that are smoking hot congressman left. looking out tonight, i see so many tens. well, washington tens, but new york fours. [applause] indiana 30. harry reid was a boxer for he
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spent five terms as a punching bag. one of my favorite things that happened in congress this year was when a senator brought in a snowball to prove that climate change isn't real. i mean, that blew my mind. i don't even need to see the other science projects. first prize, jim. you brought signs to life, man! so cool. senator tom cotton got other senators to sign an open letter he wrote to iran. the most surprising thing is that a guy named tom cotton is a u.s. senator and not a rabbit from an old racist disney cartoon. in tom cotton's defense, he was
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just trying to repair america's stringed -- strained relationship with israel. he doesn't need to worry about that. all relationship will be better in the next administration, as soon as israel is a generous donation to the clinton foundation. "true?" or "boo?" now, it's been a great year for women, as always. [laughter] hobby lobby said they didn't want to pay for health care if it included things like contraceptive. which is weird, because all i asked was what i'll is the yarn in? i do love hobby lobby. i went there this morning and i bought the cutest wicker basket to hold all of my morning after pills. [laughter] a representative recently asked if gynecological exams could be conducted by a woman.
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-- a woman swallowing a camera. they can't. and now he and his wife have a perfectly good -- ruined ago pro. -- ruined a go-pro. president obama came out supporting putting women on money as opposed to the dea agents who put money on women. so much to talk about this year. the big story, the republicans finally succeeded, and obama is being forced out of office in 18 months. you did it! so many great people have already announced they are running. it's like, who is better than marco rubio? hillary. who's better than rand paul? hillary. who's better on the economy than hillary? bill. hillary's campaign slogan is it's your time.
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which i assume she says herself in the mirror what she dead lifting 200 pounds. i'm excited about hillary running. i'm not sure she's excited about having to run, i think she feels the same way meryl streep feels which he has to audition for something -- " are you kidding me?" this next part is a repeat after me. i need your help. i want all the media to put their hands up and swear something this election season ok? i solemnly swear not to talk about hillary's appearance because that is not journalism. [laughter] [applause] also, cecily strong looks great tonight. [laughter]
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i don't want you to take any of this as an endorsement for hillary clinton, because i would never blindly endorse a candidate i do not play on snl. hillary clinton has her work cut off for her. her democratic challengers are a who's who of who's that? jim webb, silas phelps. those last two were characters from the adventures of huckleberry finn, but you didn't even notice, did you? let's not forget martin o'malley. i don't have anything to add, that's just his actual campaign slogan. let's not forget martin o'malley. [laughter] lincoln chafee running for president is like watching a dog look for its owner.
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a lot of people want elizabeth warren to run, but many think she is too idealistic and her policies are too liberal. but look at president obama. [laughter] libertarian. and people like chris christie, who is a democrat. [laughter] get bush is probably in the race the presidential race, not the hispanic race. by the way jeb is an acronym for john ellis bush. i he probably thought that was too elitist, so he wait over compensated. -- way overcompensated. [laughter]

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