tv Key Capitol Hill Hearings CSPAN May 1, 2016 2:00am-4:01am EDT
>> and this month, we showcase our student cam winners. this year's theme is road to the white house. what issues do you want candidates to discuss? our first prize high school west winners are from phoenix, arizona. daniela mock-zubia and sofia taglienti, 12th and 10th graders, want presidential candidates to discuss prison reform in a video titled "rethinking reform: prisons in america." president obama: 30 years ago, there were 500,000 people behind bars in america. today there are 2.2 million. the united states is home to 5% of the world's population but 25% of the world prisoners. every year, we spend $80 billion to keep people locked up. ♪
now our state prison system is over 40. the composition of the prison population has also dramatically changed. the vast majority of our prisoners are there for nonviolent offenses. >> the evolution of the prison system, what i saw from the outside being a native, is growing up there was only the arizona state prison. you'd see the prisoners in the community, trustees they would let out during the day to work on prison farms or ranches or in some other regard, cleaning up highways. >> while in prison, the conditions i was subjected to were very bad. there are a lot of guys in there who have high blood pressure or who have medical illnesses coming from the food over the years. i find it appalling that a guy would leave and the next person coming in will receive his old clothes. there is a lack of rehabilitative programs that are going to give a guy a skill or trade, so when they come out they can actually be productive.
♪ >> i put my neck on the chopping block because i was in the streets doing wrong when this crime occurred. but i wasn't the one who committed the crime and the state knew i was not the one who committed the crime. going to prison affected my family because it took away a leader, a man. >> it's been hard because me and him were so close. i was three years old the first time my dad went to prison. i was real young.
time went by fast. i knew him, but i did not know much about him. he got out when i was seven years old. he's been addicted to meth since he was 16 years old. and he would break into people's houses and just take small things for extra money. he went back to prison when i was 10. and he's been in jail ever since. fifth through eighth grade, all my grades were like c's and d's,
and they were never really good. and before everything, i never really had a problem with school. i think it's probably because i did not have two parents to help me. >> slowly over time you saw all these corporate prisons being built. now the prisoners are simply numbers, people with numbers who reside in this correctional institution. >> when you really look at the aspect of allowing somebody to prosper off of a criminal justice system, then there is a conflict of interest. >> 20 years ago, we had virtually no private prisons in the state of arizona. now we are captured by the private prison world. we have enormous private prisons. we're opening more -- for anyone to say that there is not a profit motive, all one needs to
do is look at the violence in federal agencies by these corporations and you will see that profit is their motive. >> we have come to rely too heavily on criminal justice in the last 40 years. we need to rebalance that so we can intervene earlier on with the 13, 14 and 15-year-olds who might be getting into trouble. if we can work with those kids, i think we get a much better payoff than merely waiting until they are 25 or 30, putting them in prison for a long period of time. >> i think if i had the opportunity to advise someone seeking public office, what i would say is, we need to focus on our goals. our goals ought to be, first and foremost, rehabilitation and opportunity. you're going to spend your money on programs that will help. and there are places that do that.
this is not the most complicated science of all time. >> upon my release, i was only able to see my mom four times before she passed from cancer. and this is what fuels my advocacy for rehabilitation and reentry, because she always told me she wanted to do something right with your life. that was my promise before she passed. ♪ >> to watch all of the documentaries in this year's student cam competition, visit student cam.org.
c-span's washington journal, coming up sunday morning, white house pause correspondent on this years correspondents dinner. the american conservative union chair will talk about the election. be sure to watch c-span paths washington journal beginning at 7:00 a.m. sunday morning. join the discussion. >> the white house correspondents dinner is one of big eventsone of the held at the washington hilton. the guest list is a mixture of politicians, celebrities, and
entertainers. this year, president barack obama gave his final presentations beach as president. they also heard from the nightly host, larry wilmore. we will show you the event beginning with the red carpet arrivals. >> it' >> there are always surprises. you think you know who everybody is a hand then somebody else has invited somebody. maybe they came with cnn.
>> that is interesting. >> agenda is being walked off. is being walked out. there is al sharpton. go is a thing. it is a thing a.m. to -- the blue tuxedo is a thing. a thing and a fad. we will see if it lasts. there is michael kelly from house of cards. and another michael, a national star. i should say michael sena is huge in the wwe. -- i'm sorry, john sena.
>> these are the arrivals for the 102nd annual white house correspondents dinner. accredited debt journalists. they are invited to -- accredited journalists are invited to this and they can bringing yes. -- guests. all nightl be live with the program. we will hear from the president and larry wilmore from
entertainment. is wall street journal theident this year of correspondence's cessation. there will be some journalistic scholarships given. filetin course is petite duck con feet,p, confit. asparagus roasted pepper. >> it is an intimate dinner for about 8000. a lot of people. christ 30,000 square feet. is the longest in washington. feet is only an extra 7000
for this dining room. in this dining room. >> will they get the food on all they tables, and then clean it up pretty quickly -- pretty impressive. you can see what people are liningere is they are up. some people, when there is a millic jam, have to just around, but they are interested in talking to the press, so they stand there and wait their turn. candace cameron bure, star of "full or house -- "fuller house." nae nae leaks giving her red -- nene leakes giving her red carpet pose. , a fashionthe right journalist who has become quite well known.
hollywood actress. >> you are listening to jd haynes of "people" magazine helping identify some of these folks that are walking through. j.d.: neve campbell again, trained as a ballerina and became famous on the show "party of five." moved to london for a few years and is now back in hollywood making a name for herself.
role in "goneit is an intense m. you have people well-known. they get their pictures taken one after the other. is that the mother? j.d.: i guess it is. >> she looks 20 years younger without that wig on. j.d.: also was in bridesmaids and lots of things. also -- mindy, almost didn't recognize her. that is indeed her. she was on my flight. template -- really talented comedian. i believe that is vanessa kerry. rosario.om >> and she is supporting bernie
a little while ago. kerryt talking to vanessa there, moving back into the patrol. regina king slipped in well we were speaking. -- while we were speaking. to 227. it back -- all the way back to 227. ,er guest is from usa today quite a strange group of people here tonight. campbell, jenner came in earlier. we also have people from quantico. one of the most critically acclaimed shows of the fall
season. smile,t brendan covey and gabrielle, and of course, rachel mcadams. is the guest of the boston globe, which was the paper she works for in the movie , also in spotlight. photojournalism. she has become quite close to the real-life supporters she plays in the film, and she would naturally want to come with the outlet and was very much up for it. >> larry wilmore is the entertainment tonight. during the eisenhower administration. j.d.: it really is a very tough getting for anybody. for a long time affair, to be
clever and to trod the line between funny and being offensive, which is hard to do. and that looks like megyn kelly down the escalator. megyn kelly, of course, having a huge year and really coming to batsnence with her ongoing with donald trump during the campaign. and someone from yahoo!. in, michaelweet kelly walking the red carpet at the white house correspondents dinner made me really happy and also creeped out. j.d.: i think that is the way he
would want her to feel. seeing a lot of the talking heads from this campaign season coming in. anybody who has been following election coverage this year will notice many of the people in this room are people who regularly appear on cable news, with tidings about one candidate or another. a whole bunch of cnn folks walked in. and nbc to .
there for several years, one of the few places in washington that has security, entrance for the president, a lot of security precautions to take into consideration when getting on this dinner. ,0,000 square foot ballroom 3000 square foot kitchen for the many people. j.d.: we might have caught a glance of will smith, who walked in, and jada pinkett smith. guests.are abc j.d.: will smith and jaden smith famously did not go to the oscars this year. right.'s
j.d.: you really can't see at this point after the people leave this area, they go into a series of rooms that are quite crowded, posing for pictures. smith -- jada smith. smiths this the year obviously caused quite a stir by speaking out about the lack of african-american nominees at the academy awards, and mr. smith was in concussion, a movie that got a lot of critical acclaim, but did not find an audience. he did not get the nomination he wanted. >> has significant politically wouldn't have been -- how significantly would he have been
j.d.: he came back to get his picture taken, and they are shutting their names now. snuck in and came back around to have their photos taken. [background chatter] >> when an actress is outspoken like to the pinkett smith about her husband's nomination, is that helpful or hurtful? j.d.: at this stage of the game, it is pretty miniscule. [indiscernible] think jada smith has never
the a big box office star weight will smith has globally. she has worked subtly in television. and has always had a reputation for being an outspoken person. people come to expect she is going to speak her mind. >> everybody is wearing the same outfit. j.d.: having a good time out there. job.ld on, i need another are you ready?
>> do we know the identity of this animal? middleton is tom there on the left. williams in the biopic about the great country singer. and that is carrie fisher's dog, she traveled with that dog all the time. carrie fisher is famously very attached to her pooch. >> did she get it signed off as a therapy dog? j.d.: she may have.
they travel everywhere together. is general she layer, she is a general in the new star wars movie. also one of the funniest people in hollywood. he will follow her right off. >> i wonder if her mother has ever attended. [speaking simultaneously] middleton really one of the most acclaimed actors, new actors, of his generation. a shade of blue, a dark blue, that thing. for those of you just tuning in to the c-span, it may not sound like c-span. we can talk about appropriations.
>> donald from cbs. this is the white house correspondents dinner. this is the arrival. coverage began at 6:00 p.m. dinner program begins at 8:00 p.m., and there is a break for the pre-dinner program which will will take life. we will show you scenes and videos from last week of events and people surrounding this dinner, and then of course, we will be live with the entire program and we will shut up and just let you watch. to ourtulations winners and thank you again, jason. [applause] we have a couple of other guests here tonight.
this is the first time in the last eight years that vice president joe biden is attending our dinner. [applause] the vice president is here with his daughter, ashley pyramid's device president, i can confidently say on behalf of reporters, we appreciate how much news you have given us. [laughter] we know this has been a difficult year for you and your family and we appreciate your
presence here tonight. thank you. [applause] 70 years ago, frankie robinson became the first toican-american entertainer appear at the white house correspondents dinner. this piano playing prodigy was seven years old. here he is in 1946. mr. frank robinson, welcome back . would you please stand? [applause] i want to acknowledge some people who have been helpful to me and to the white house correspondents association.
julia winston, thank you for everything you do. our lawyer,to george lehner. journalists on this stage have been strong advocates for our press corps day in and day out, at the white house not only doing their job reporting, but you will find them in josh earnest office arguing that it event should be open to the press or that the president should take more questions. we do this because we believe that more access from the more access the journalists have, the better informed the public will be. i am grateful to the wall street for the opportunity to cover the white house, particularly our washington bureau chief and our editor-in-chief, jerry baker.
[applause] , many thankshere to them -- especially my parents hudson, probably upstairs ordering room service. i would like to think my other family, the white house press corps. i moved to washington eight years ago from a small newspaper in florida to cover the white house. i have had the pleasure to work alongside some of the smartest, funniest, kindest, and weirdest people i know. you know who you are. they are competitors but we collaborate, we speak the same , we spend more time with each other than with our colleagues at our news organizations, and often times more than our own families. could you please stand -- i want to thank you for the work that
you do which i admire, and for just being her quirky, entertaining, fun, dedicated cells. thank you -- dedicated s elves. thank you. [applause] carol: obviously, this is president obama's last dinner while in office. , being thent enterprising reporters that we are, we wanted to give you something you can turn to have to you leave the white house and you miss having this around to record your every move. thank you for putting this together, let's take a look. [begin video clip] >> the white house correspondents association knows
eight years of a presidency cannot be condensed into eight minutes or less and we will leave the legacy stuff to the press office. here we go. >> today, after all of the votes have been tallied, health insurance reform becaus becomesw in the united states of america. states has killed osama bin laden, the leader of al qaeda. -- >> the first government shutdown in 17 years is now over -- >> today i begin a new effort to fix our immigration system -- today, the united states of america is changing its relationship with the people of cuba -- >> today, because america negotiated from a position of strength and principle, we have stopped this part of nuclear weapons in this region -- >> but it hasn't all been a smooth ride. ♪
[cheering] >> we cannot sustain -- wh oops. was that my --? sorry about that, guys. >> it hasn't all been smooth talk. smooth operator ♪ >> israel is a strong friend of israel -- >> john mccain has not talked about my muslim faith and you are absolutely right -- my christian faith -- >> on this memorial day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes, and i think
many of them are in the audience here today -- us what r-tha told e-s-p-c-t ? ieshank you, sioux city's --sioux falls -- i just want to be clear -- >> i want to be absolutely clear -- >> let me be clear -- >> let me just be clear -- >> let me be as clear as i can be -- going to be a bright, son-shining day ♪ >> you were not so clear on who
was who. >> first of all -- >> it is not lower, but you are saying 10. i completely understand. it is david today -- >> and then there was me -- >> i have not looked at the latest polling around the world, i do not know, garrett. no, garrett. >> when even fashion choices are scrutinized, including this one. pair ofeans, a sweet mom jeans -- nice mom jeans, obama. >> you will always have the audacity -- >> we should be addressing the country on such a serious matter and he looks like he is on his way to a party at the hamptons -- >> and scrutiny knows no borders. ♪
appreciate your decision to attend this dinner every year. it shows that even if we do not always agree on our access, your administration -- we have a shared commitment to a free press. ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass for what is, by tradition, our only toast of the evening, to the president of the united states. cheering] mr. president, the podium is yours. [applause] you are going to miss me when i'm gone ♪ [laughter] you can't say it,
but you know it's true. [laughter] good evening, everybody. it is an honor to be here at my last and perhaps the last white house correspondents dinner. [laughter] you all look great. the end of every public has never looked better. [laughter] i do apologize -- i know i was a little late tonight. i was running on cpt. which stands for " jokes that white people should not make." [laughter] [applause]
jeff. a tip for you, anyway. here we are. and final appearance at this unique event. iming excited -- i am excited. this material works well, i am going to use it at goldman sachs next year. [laughter] [applause] earn me some serious tubman -- that's right, that's right. my brilliant and beautiful wife michelle is here tonight.
[applause] she looks so happy to be here. [laughter] that is called practice. it's like learning to do three-minute planks and she makes it look easy now, but -- next year, this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot. guess who shes will be, but -- [laughter] [applause] standing here, i cannot help but be reflective. a little sentimental. eight years ago, i said it was time to change the tone of our politics. in hindsight, i clearly should have been more specific.
[laughter] eight years ago, i was a young man. full of idealism and the vigor. and look at me down -- i am gray, grizzled, counting down the days. [laughter] hillary once questioned whether i would be ready for 3:00 a.m. phone call. now i am awake anyway, because i have to go to the bathroom. i am up. [laughter] in fact, somebody said to me, mr. president, you are so
yesterday. justin trudeau has completely replaced you. he is so handsome, so charming, he is the future. i said, justin, give it a rest. [laughter] i resented that. meanwhile, michelle has not aged a day. [applause] the only way you can date her in photos is by looking at me -- take a look. 2008.e are in here we are a few years later. and this one is from two weeks ago.
so, time passes. in just six months, i will be officially a lame duck. now willns congress flat-out reject my authority, and republican leaders will not take my phone calls. and this is going to take some getting used to -- it is a curveball. i don't know what to do with it. [laughter] course, in four months, congressional republicans have been saying there are things i cannot do in my final year. unfortunately, this dinner was not one of them. [laughter] but, on everything else, it is another story. and you know who you are, republicans. i think we've got tim scott and cory gardner in the house.
which reminds me, security, bar the doors. out. mary garland, come on we are going to do this right here, right now. [applause] like the red wedding. [laughter] it is not just congress. some foreign leaders have been looking ahead, anticipating my departure. george showednce up to our meeting in his bathrobe. face.as a slap in the [laughter] [applause] protocol.each of
although, while in england, i had lunch with her majesty the queen. i took in a performance of shakespeare, hit the links with david cameron to just in case anybody is debating whether i am black enough -- i think that settles the debate. [laughter] i will not lie -- look. this is a tough transition, it is hard. staff are starting to leave the white house. even reporters have left me. left to hostrie the today show. nora o'donnell left to host cbs this morning. left journalism to join cnn. [laughter] [applause]
the prospect of leaving the white house is a mixed bag. he might have heard that somebody jumped the white house fence last week, but i have to give secret service credit, they found michelle and brought her back -- she is safe back at home now. [laughter] only nine more months, baby. [laughter] somehow, despite all of this, in my final year, my approval ratings keep going up. [applause]
the last time i was this high, i was try to decide on my major. [laughter] [applause] here is the thing -- i haven't really done anything differently. even my aids cannot explain the poll numbers. nobody can figure it out. [laughter] puzzling. anyway. year, i do have more appreciation for those who have been with me on this ride. like one of our finest public servants, joe biden. [applause]
god bless him. love that guy. i love joe biden -- i really do. i want to thank him for his friendship, his counsel, for always getting it to me straight and not shooting anybody in the face. thank you, joe. [laughter] host,give it up for our larry wilmore. [applause] also known as one of the two black eyes who is not jon stewart. you are the south african guy, right? i love larry. and his parents are here, who
are from evanston, which is a great town. i also would like to acknowledge some of the award-winning reporters who we have with us here tonight. rachel mcadams, mark ruffalo, -- thank you all for everything you have done. i am just joking. as you know, spotlight is a movie about investigative journalists with the resources and the autonomy to chase down the truth and all the powerful accountable. the best fantasy film since "star wars." [laughter] that was maybe a cheap shot. i understand the news business is tough his days, he keeps changing all the time. every year, somebody makes a
joke about buzz feed changing the media landscape. every year the washington post laughs a little bit less hard. [scattered laughter] gop chairman ryan previous is here as well. glad to see that you feel that you have earned the night off. on all of your success. the republican party, the nomination process, it is all going great. keep it up. [laughter] [applause] kendall jenner is also here. we had a chance to meet
backstage at her and she seems like a very nice young woman. i and not exactly sure what she does? i am told that my twitter mentions are about to go through the roof. [laughter] helen mirren is here tonight. [applause] joke, i justhave a think helen mirren is awesome. [applause] [cheering] she is awesome. sitting at the same table, mike bloomberg. [applause] mike, a combated, controversial new york billionaire, is leaving
-- leading the gop primary and it is not you. [laughter] that has to sting a little bit. it is not an entirely unfair comparison between you and the donald. mike was a big city mayor. he knows policy in depth, and he is actually worth the amount of money that he says he is. [laughter] [applause] what an election season. for example, we have the bright new face of the democratic party here tonight, mr. bernie sanders. [applause] there he is. [applause] bernie, you look like a million
bucks. or, to put in terms you will understand, you look like 37,000 donations of $27 each. [laughter] a lot of folks have been surprised by the bernie phenomenon, especially his appeal to young people -- not me, i get it. young person said to me, she was sick of politicians standing in the way of her dreams. as if we were actually going to let melia go to burning man this year -- it is not going to happen. [laughter] bernie might let her go, not us. [laughter] i am hurt though, bernie, the you have distanced yourself for me.
that's not something that you do to your comrade. [laughter] [applause] slogan has helped his campaign catch fire among young people -- feel the bern. that is a good slogan. hillary slogan has not had the same effect. let's see this. [laughter] i have said how much i admire hillary's toughness, her policy jobs, her experience. you have to admit it, though.
hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative who just signed up for facebook. america, did you get my poke? is it appearing on your wall? . am sure i am using this right love, aunt hillary." it is not entirely persuasive. meanwhile, on the republican more things are a little -- how shall we say this? a little more loose. look at the confusion over the invitations to tonight's dinner. check whether they wanted steak or fish, but instead, a whole bunch of you wrote in paul ryan. [laughter]
that is not an option, people. steak or fish. you may not like steak or fish, but that is your choice. [laughter] meanwhile, some candidates are not pulling high enough to qualify for their own joke tonight. [laughter] the rules were well-established ahead of time. and then there is ted cruz. he has had a tough week. -- hoosierindiana country, stood on a basketball aurt, and called the hoop
basketball ring. [laughter] what else is in his lexicon? baseball sticks? football hat? but sure, i am the foreign one. [laughter] [cheering] then they conclude on a more serious note. i want to think the washington press corps, i want to thank carol for that you do. the free press is central to our i am just-- nah, kidding. you know i am going to talk about trump!
c'mon! [laughter] [applause] we weren't just going to stop there, come on. [laughter] although i am a little hurt he is not here tonight -- we had so much fun the last time. [laughter] surprising, you have a room full of supporters, celebrities, cameras, and he says no. is this dinner too tacky for the donald? what could he possibly be doing and said? eating a trump steak? tweeting insults to angela merkel? what is he doing? [laughter]
the republican establishment is incredulous that he is there most likely nominee -- incredulous, shocking. they say donald he lacks foreign-policy experience to be president. in fairness, he has spent years meeting with leaders from around sweden, missss argentina, miss azerbaijan. [laughter] area where hene could be invaluable, closing guantanamo. because trump knows a thing or do about running waterfront properties into the ground. [laughter] [applause] alright, that is probably enough -- i mean, i've got more material -- no, no.
[cheering] i don't want to spend too much time on the donald. following your lead, i want to show some restraint. because i think we can all agree that from the start, he has gotten the appropriate amount of coverage befitting the seriousness of th his candidacy. [laughter] i hope you are all proud of yourselves. to give his hotel business a boost, and now we are praying that cleveland makes it through july. [laughter] hm, hm. [laughter] hm. [laughter] and michelle, we have decided to stay in d.c. for a
couple more years -- thank you. this is where our youngest daughter could finish high stayl, and michelle can closer to her plot or she has a ready made plans to see them every day -- take a look. [laughter] decision has actually presented a dilemma because traditionally, presidents do not stick around after they are done . it is something i have been brooding about a little bit. take a look. staying for's are two years after they leave office -- >> about to go from commander in chief to couch commander -- what am i going to do for two years? >> you have a real dilemma, mr. president. which do you like better, these are these? >> they are the same.
need to focus here. >> mr. president, you have to be practical. .ou are going to need a license what are you volunteer and work for a sports team? >> i understand you are looking for some coaching help. let's just say i coach my daughter seen a few times. hello? hello? 44? >> finally. i thought i would take up driving again. >> what is the name? >> barack hussein obama. >> since he didn't have a license, you will need a birth certificat? e. >> really? it israel.
-- it is real. oh, michelle left it at home. she's got snapchat. obamacare is great and it is really working, sign up now. michelle obama in our water after posting this video earlier today. >> obamacare is great and it is really working. [laughter] michelle obama: honey, when you just talk to someone who has been through this. i have to go to soul cycle. obama: she's right. can we get together?
now that is a great move. can we get together? [said music playing] want to my advice? stop sending me all these links. you can just be yourself for a while. bes. obama: so i can just myself? yesterday, i had a beer at 11:30 in the morning. and mcdonald's for breakfast. michelle will be in spin class so she will never know. >> it will be long before you'll be able to walk right out of the zippity doo singing dah.
you will have time to work on your tent. : and i got ama sweet deal on a chevy tahoe. >> we're here. we're here. pres. obama: yes. 347th round of golf for the year. it is totally great. think of a reason to care. i have tried. [applause] pres. obama: there you go. [applause] i am stillbama: waiting for all of you to respond to my invitation to connect to linkedin. and i know you have jobs to do, which is what brings us here tonight. there are times that
we've had differences and that our institutional rules. industry of every president and his escort. shared the same goal, to route to our public discourse in truth and open the doors to democracy. we can to make our democracy and our world more free end of more just. and i have always appreciated the role you all have played as partners in reaching these goals. againress is why we once recognize the press covering the scandal and who brought some measure of justice to victims around the world. they are here tonight. matt, please give them a round of applause. [applause]
pres. obama: our free is why once again we honor jason as carol noted. we spoke ofis year jason's courage as he endured the isolation of iranian prison. this year, we see that courage livingflesh and it is a testament to the very idea of the press and a reminder of level of danger faced by reporters overseas. this commitment that as long as i hold this office, my administration will continue to fight for the release of american journalist held against their will and we will not stop until they see the same freedom as jason has stop [applause] has. jason [applause]
pres. obama: at home and abroad, journalists, like all of you who are in the docket pursuit of accountable,ens making our government of the people possible. enormous responsibility end i realize it is an enormous challenge at a time when the economics of the business sometimes incentivized been over and when controversy and conflict is what immediately attracts viewers. the good news is, there's so many of you pushing against ofse trends and as a citizen this great democracy i am grateful for that. around theo a time world when some of the fundamental ideals of liberal democracies are under attack and when notions of objectivity and free press and fact and evidence are trying to be undermined.
and in some cases, ignored and harley. it is not climate, enough just to give people eight megaphone and that is why your is mored responsibility important than ever. notever is true does require you shutting your objectivity. in fact, it is the essence of good journalism. theffirms the idea that only way we can build consensus, the only way we can move forward as a country, the only way we help the world amended itself is by agreeing on a baseline of fact when it comes to the challenges that face us all. this night is a testament to all of you have devoted your life to that. to push, to shine a light on truth every day.
want to close my final white house correspondents' dinner by saying thank you. proud of what you have done. it has been an honor and privilege to work side-by-side by you in our democracy. and with that, i just have two more words to say. obama out. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> thank you, mr. president. when i met larry wilmore earlier
this month to told me it was his dream come true to follow the present at the white house correspondents dinner. he did. he is the host of the comedy show on comedy central. ladies and gentlemen, larry wilmore. [applause] larry: thank you. thank you very much. they keep. thank you for keeping that a puzzling all the way, too. i appreciate that. to negro at night -- negro night here. report, twows would thugs interrupted elegant dinner in washington, d.c. here at the white house correspondents' dinner where as you know they will call hostst year, donald trump
a luxurious dinner hosted by mexico. we are very scared of that. thanks a lot. it is an absolute honor to be on tonight. to thank the president. the correspondents association for hiring me and mitch mcconnell for not blocking my nomination. seriously, you have to give mr. credit.l he is the black lebron james. i am little bit about me, a black man who replaced a white man who pretended to be eight tv newscaster. so yes, and that way lester holden and i have a lot in common. but i have to admit, it is not easy to follow the president. you've got some jokes, mr. president.
the president is funny. stay in your life, man. you don't see me going around all the time. passing health care, signing executive orders, not closing guantanamo. oh wait, maybe i did do that. great.ave to say, it is it looks like you are really enjoying your last your the president the. seth you hanging out with curry, golden state warriors. that was cool. make sense because both of you like raining down bombs on people from long distances. [boos] drugs, how isg of what lets are still on television? next i am ready to present
winners. anyone in here in the situation room? [boos] wolf. sorry, i like joe biden is here. i hear he is moving back to delaware. he won't have to answer any difficult questions like, hey don't i know you from somewhere? but i have to say about the first lady, it is so nice to have dinner with you. of grace, academy class, hand boys. isn't she? she really is. not to be confused with future clinton,tleman bill whose three favorite girls are named -- strippers are named grace, class, and boys. say, mr. president, the office has taken its toll on
you. you look terrible, mr. president. no, you do. look at you. your hair is so white it tried to punch me at a trump rally. the president's here is so white, he keeps saying, all lives matter. ok, fine. i get it. i get it. no, man, you came in here looking like denzel washington. you are going out looking like grady from sanford and son. dated, mr. president. all i am saying is that in less than eight years, mr. president, you busted to time-honored stereotypes. crack.do and apparently, once you do black it looks like we are going back to stop yeah.
thanks, ben carson. i have to be careful picking on you, mr. president, a couple years ago during this dinner you were killing osama than lawton. who are you killing tonight? it cannot be journalism, that has been dead for a wild now, right? now.ur a while shout, they are old death knell. that follow-up was nice, wasn't it? relax, white people. it was a joke. just relax. i am impressed with the people in this room. there are so many rich, powerful people in this room. to finally match the names to the faces in the penama caper. it is nice. it is nice to see them together. samantha is here from the pcoming movie "suicide squad."
not to be confused with the new jeb bush documentary, "suicide watch." anthony anderson is here from ish."it show "black which was also my nickname in high school. they called you, didn't they mr. president? c-span has caring this live. yeah. which is ironic because most of the viewers are not. it is true, guys. c-span is the number one network among people who died watching tv and no one found that met yet. no, but it is good to be on c-span. i am glad i am not on your rival
hdmi-1.""no input that was for me. i have not watched cnn for a long time. i used to watch it back when it was a network. i don't know about you guys, but i cannot get enough of that cnn countdown clock. now we can see exactly when they hit zero in the ratings. [boos] a: and not to throw in a shape, thefox news network is highest rated network among viewers who do not know what "shade" means. beyondied to convince saying that miss america was anti-tops.
come on. at most she is anti-pants. filejust renamed the keli "becky what the good hair." lemonade? lemonade, mr. president? ok. msnbc here tonight. now stands for "missing a significant number of lack ." respondents i heard they put chris hayes on probation because they thought he was related to isaac hayes. that is wrong. msnbc got rid of so many black people, i thought boko haram was running that network. what is going on? i should say, some of america's finest black journalists are
here tonight. don lemon is here, too. hey, don. how's it going? alleged journalist don lemon, everybody. al sharpton i think was here tonight. is a hillaryd al supporter. you do not put a relaxer in your hair for 40 years and not feel the bern. it is impossible is what i am saying. next to alsitting sharpton, it is ok to feel the bern. we cleared it. promised to put harriet tubman on the $10 bill but now we have to wait until 2034 the $20 bill. yeah. women have not been this d.c. by a bill since cosby.
[boos] a: oh, like i did it. ben carson praised andrew jackson saying he was a tremendous president. from the grave, jackson said, what did that jigaboo say? that is what he said. that is what he said. i am just reporting. i'm just reporting, mr. president. aboo"?rry say "jig i did. i honestly did. 2016 has been eight b. "b." we lost prince. or as hillary clinton says, my
favorite singer, my favorite singer! and now -- is back to doing what he does best, manning the pottery booth at the craft fair. chris christie was supposed to be here tonight. he, his wife, and donald yours dry-cleaning. chris lost a lot of weight recently, didn't he? he said he eliminated everything from his routine that was not necessary. like his self pride hand dignity. -- and dignity. senator bernie sanders is here tonight. senator. i am surprised, you never come to these things. he usually goes to the white house early bird's correspondent dinner. he recently had a hernia operation.
they say it is his own fault for the helps of the disenfranchised. you up to stretch before you do that, senator. confused on bernie sanders's stance on guns. he seems to be anti-gone everywhere except vermont. open --[ whispers ] there are no black people in vermont. been hanging around with mike. laura's hillary clinton calls him, super-predator might. bernie sanders gets knocked for his age which is kind of unfair. it has, isn't it? sanders's that bernie first campaign slogan was "fire."
old, whenders is so god said "let there be light," arnie said, let's conserve energy and sit in the dark. but it is a tight race between senator bernie sanders and hillary clinton. hillary was flustered when a personives matter confronted her. i have not seen a white person be that upset about a black person since kelly ripa. hillary has had some awkward interactions with black lives matter. you know it is bad when her immediate responses, can't we talk about benghazi? please? in troubleers got for saying hillary clinton was unqualified. hillary is extremely qualified. -- when youtor
factor in all of her policy flip-flops, she is one of the buzz qualified to ever run for president. donald trump said if hillary clinton were in man, he did not think she would get 5% of the vote. ok. all right. first of all, if hillary clinton were suddenly a man, her biggest problem will be trying to find a bathroom she can use in north carolina. right? donald trump, donald trump says he is going to try to be more presidential. it is true. he is serious about. he says that now when he talks about his genitalia during the debate he is only going to talk --.t it as his president i can't understand why everybody treats donald trump with kid gloves. then i remember they are the
only gloves that will fit his stupid little baby hands. oh, man. actually, donald trump, his campaign is inspiring. man to violence. everybody turns on the tv, sees family -- sees trumps campaigning for him. have you seen morning joe? seriously. morning joe has their heads up ass so far, they bumped into chris christie. i'm not lying. you know that is true. donald trump looks like the rich dad in every episode of law and order where the frat kid accidentally strangles a curveball's top dozen tea --
where the frat kid accidentally strangles a hooker. not surprised donald trump is happening to america because i watch movies. i do. every time there is a black president, something always comes to the story that hurts. always. it is true. ted cruz is about to stay in the race. man, everybody hates ted cruz. even oj simpson says, that guys just hard to like. this is true. this is true. there is a general and run the cruz is that ted actually the zodiac killer. i am not making that up. that is absurd. some people actually liked the zodiac killer.
a string ted cruz got of wins and endorsement and then everybody remembered who ted cruz is. the zodiac killer. ted cruz got zero delegates in new york, which is actually five more than i thought he would get for the zodiac killer. john boehner came out of described tedand cruz as lucifer in the flesh. lucifer. that is not there. that is not fair, lucifer is horrible but he is not the zodiac teller. heidi cruise revealed that after they got married, ted bought something like 100 cans of soup. not making your self look less like the zodiac killer, ted cruz. i don't even think ted cruz
wants to be president. all right, that is enough. ted cruz actually announced that carly uribe as his vice presidential pick. and he is not even a nominee at. you see this, right? who does that? except the zodiac killer. no, but see. think how strange it is. vice president? that does not make sense because their own colors always work alone. if you thought about this, but if carly fiorina were vice president, she would only be a hard eat away from being zodiac killed. away from being zodiac killed. mr. president, you have seven
months left and we should enjoy every moment of it. soak again, people. i don't know when were getting a black resident again. i mean, they will not even let morgan freeman be president and movies for a while anymore. is going to be different for you guys. nobody to wash the dishes or change the bed linens, sleep the floors. you are going to miss joe biden. i just got a note for the president say, if you want another drink you better order now because the bartleby closing down. of course, they said the same thing about guantanamo so you have another eight years. he made that joke. just think, mr. president. less than one year, you will be playing golf every day. things can't be that much different.
this is your last year in office, right? so your legacy begins. some want to talk about when you're leaving behind and i don't mean the black jesus in the lincoln bedroom. make sure you take all of your culturally specific items with you so you can get your security deposit back, mr. president. quick impression of the next president moving in, "what is cocoa butter?" i have to say, what it is all said and done mr. president, after eight years in the white house, we are really going to miss michelle. we really are. thank you for being a good sport, mr. president. all jokes aside, let me just say how much it means for me to be here tonight.
i voted for the present because he is black. i agree with the policy that he is black. he seems black, i am good. they say, what about iraq? i say, is he still black? but behind that joke is a humble appreciation for the historic implication for what your presidency means. when i was a kid, i lived in a country where people could accept a black quarterback. about that. and black man was brought by his mere color not good enough to lead a football team. your time, mr. president, when a black man can lead the entire free world -- [applause] larry: words alone it me no
justice. so, mr. president, i am going to say, yo barry. nigger.it, my it.did thank you very much. thank you. [applause] >> thank you all for coming tonight. i hoped you enjoyed it. president of the association will now escort them out. please stay in your seats until they have accident. thank you and have a good night,