thing was a sham? >> i am saying it was somewhere between a sham and a scam, greg. >> do you think it was performed on a sound stage? >> i don't know. unless the government had something to do with it, i tend to believe it really happened. >> i don't think it happened at all. i think it was a diversion. >> really? >> yes, it was a diversion. >> from benghazi? >> no, immigration. >> the irs? >> that too. >> go away. >> nsa? >> shut up. let's welcome our guest. she is so hot doctors use oven mitts to check her blood pressure. she just sighed. who cares? i like to sigh. he is so sharp that broken glass is afraid to step on him. i would like to welcome a first time guest. he is the associate editor -- we have a lot of editors. and in wyoming she considered a coat rack, bill schulz. and if comedic genius was a bridge mix i would pick his nuts.
it is tom shillue. i wonder if he has a new cd out? oh he does. it is called "dancing alone, god will it end." >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. oh you are here today, greg, that's too bad. >> their scoop turned to poop. yep, his no show filled them with whoa. on monday journalists piled on to a flight from moscow to cuba, they have planes there. expecting edward snowden to be on board, but the man behind the leaks left an empty seat. sad scribes could only take pictures and imagine what might have been as they flew across the ocean to havana. and adding insult the airline didn't serve booze. where in the world is the laptop cowboy? if you know, please tell the united states government. meanwhile, investigators are trying to access a laptop he left behind in hong kong.
>> don't they have any standards at the nsa? any standards whatsoever? anybody can get a job including a furry little male. tom, welcome to the program. snowden is expected to head out somewhere, perhaps south america, wherever that is. is his star fading now that all of his pals seem to be comme, pinkos and comme-pinkos. >> from china to russia and isn't venezuela next on the list? all of our enemies. it is proven that the man is not a patriot, is he? >> he is not a patriot at all. and i don't know, for some reason when i hear he is traveling i think of that madonna song. >> "papa don't preach"? >> i am so glad we have a map that showed him going across the globe. >> every network did that. chris? >> this is one of the coolest things he has done so far.
at least since dating the acrobat. 24 people that no one wants around, journalists, all the way to cuba with no booze. instead of where castro sent awflt criminals to miami -- all of the criminals to miami we sent a sweaty box of reporters who needed rum and stuck there for three days. >> this is the first time i have ever had sympathy fort meade yaw. i -- for it is -- for the media. i couldn't do 16 hours on a plane without alcohol. >> i don't know why there wasn't alcohol. >> there was violence on the plane and some of the people were inebriated before the plane took off and they were drunk and they had to take the alcohol away. >> whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. are you saying that a transatlantic flight from russia to cuba had a drunk on it? nope, not buying it. >> not buying it at all. all right. what can the white house do here? for some reason they presume that russia would help us out
because we helped them? we scuttled the missal system in poland and the czech republic. i think i made up that fact, but i am not sure. >> does it matter? >> we have done all of those favors and this is what they do, put their thumb in our eye. >> russia can you help? no, we will call you after lunch. nobody is doing anything about this guy. he has gotten better about keeping secrets. he has been on the run since we can't find out where he is. >> that's the irony. he is not a pioneer. he is a pawn. he is used to beat on the united states. it is snow -- is snowden's empty seat on the cover of next month's empty seat magazine? >> he will be on the cover with the empty seat of clint eastwood and obama. as for russia, we gave them back one of their stupid spies that we caught, and the spy was hot. this guy looks like a bowling
pin with a goatee on it. and we still want him back. they don't have any need for him. we gave them a hot girl. >> that's going to be my monologue for tomorrow. i demand anna chapman back now. >> exactly. >> i demand her back. by the way, good luck on your -- this is the first time you will b editing, right? >> this is my special editor's coat. everyone on the staff is instructed to dress like mr. furley. >> it is ironic he is editing on empty seat magazine when his seat is rarely empty. >> i don't follow. >> i don't either. john, i want to ask you, julian assange, remember him? snowden can claim refugee status. can he? >> is he trying to do that in ecuador or something? maybe he can. i am not even so sure. he shouldn't be that worried about the charges that were allegedly going to level against him. i have been practicing 20 years and never had an
espionage case. they are rare and hard to prosecute. he should not be running as scared as he is, but we'll see. >> he will be a hero, right? >> assange is. people love julian assange, right? >> they mistake him for tilda tildaswinton. it is a joke for you people at home. you can google her. chris, where do you see this heading? >> imagine those two guys hanging out in a room and being stuck with assange and edward. if they want to stay together by themselves stuck in an embassy for another couple years, that's fine with me. >> i think that would help. i think obama actually doesn't want him back yet. >> and if twoal bine knows are in the room together -- if two al bine -- two albinos are in the room together would they be scared? >> oh bill. >> i think they are mythical. >> we have to take a break. did i have to -- did i just say we have to take a break? i mean we have to move on.
the flight of "dumb and dumber" has moved on to trashing his own movie. gym carrie, if that is his real name, has decided the upcoming hero fantasy "kick ass2" is too harsh for him. he tweeted i did "kick as" before sandy hook and i cannot support that level of violence. all right. to others involved with the film, i am not ashamed, but recent events caused a change in my heart. carrie's comments came as a surprise to the "kick ass" creator who writes" i am baffled by this sudden announcement as nothing is seen in this picture wasn't in the screenplay 18 months ago. speaking of baffled, let's go live to this dog. [dogs barking]
>> he doesn't know what is going on. >> he is confused. it is like much of america, deeply confused over the state of our nation. >> he is german. >> well, germans can be confused too, bill. tom, my theory is that he did this because he realized he kept running into the hipocrisy where he would talk about gun control and people would say look at your movies. he is rich enough to say i won't do those movies anymore. he gave up the movies so he could win an argument is what i am saying. >> i think she becoming more traditional left wing hollywood guy. he is not a big banking leading man like he used to be. now he can indulge his true self. i doubt his sincerity. if he is saying that newtown was like a turning point for him, there were a lot of mass
shootings when he did the other violent films, were there not? >> i think this has more to do -- look, i don't know. let me ask you, chris, the real slap in the face is to everyone who worked on the film. >> you deserve a little congratulations for shaming a liberal into being a liberal. usually his schtick is to attack kids and say no vaccines and finally hurting his career and now hurting people around him. this is the first time i heard of this film when he tweeted about it. his career can only take so much. the old jump the shark, he did that in "ace ventura 2". i saw that in "ace ventura 1" when he was crapped by a rhino. >> bill, that's what you call a saturday night. i am ashamed are you on "red eye." yet it doesn't stop me from promoting the show. >> i am reeling from the rhino comment and then you throw that on the plate. i think this guy is a genius. what did he do?
he got out of having to promote the movie. if you just say i don't want to promote the movie, what are you? you are a breech of contract. it is harder to say you are in breech of contract when you are saying you are doing for the kids. they are not going to take money back that they should have already taken. it is smart for him to do it. although i will say and i am not saying i have it on good word that he has trapped himself into his house and smokes pot all day long and coming up with all sorts of weird things, this sounds like a guy who was trapped in a house all day long and smoking tons of weed and saying weird things. >> that's what happens. imagine you get wildly successful. i don't know what that is like. then you have everything you want and you end up trapped in a house smoking lots of pot and coming up with all sorts of ideas. >> i want to be widely successful, but i can do it without being trapped in the house. he is going to get sued. he has an obligation to promote this film. i'm sure that is written in
his $60 million contract. this was not a documentary. it is hollywood. get over it. >> good point. >> it is not a documentary? >> no. >> he has done a lot of media for it. >> chris didn't hear about the movie until now, well then he is promoting the move vee. all righty then. >> your excitement over small points freaks me out. it is like the guy just discovered a cure for advanced polio. speaking of, maybe carey should go back to targeting vaccines. he did say i am not doing movies with vaccines in them. nobody cares. >> i feel bad for jim carrey. you know that guy on "mad men" who bake a harikrishna? that is like him. >> remember he had the crush on that girl with the red hair? >> weird. >> yes, weed, weed, weed, watch that video and tell me that wasn't a giant bong right behind them.
>> what's her name? >> she was in "amazing spider-man" but that's not her name. i just realized that when i just said that. i did not answer your question. >> what is that movie about losing your virginity? >> "super bad." >> was she in that too? >> yes. >> boy, i am db and we are not. >> what's her name? >> not kir sten donest -- not dunst. you don't know anything about spider-man. >> em ma you stone. >> emma he is stoned? >> you have to google youtube jim carrey video to emma stone. it is one of the most disturbing videos. maybe andy can find it and we can play a bit on final report. a new survey shows that even as the irs and the justice department and nsa scandals are swirling like something that swirls obama's numbers numbers are sterling like something sterling. the president is holding on to an approval rate that is down
two points from may. meanwhile obama is headed to africa, but he is not paying a visit to kenya, kenya-believe it? after all, it is the place of his birth. i joke. or am i? who knows? not really following a script at this point. despite the scandals at home, obama is as untouchable as this adorable cat. >> reminds me of a date i had in high school. says the miserable man. i guess when you have the press and the popular culture on your side you can survival anything. >> ya, sure. >> all right, coming up -- >> maybe americans americans are wising up.
you know how they do the polling? >> no. >> over the phone. you don't say bad things when other people are listening in. >> people never have another bad poll ever. bill has had a couple of bad polls, but that's another story for another time. >> dated some polish people. >> thoughts? >> when i read this report i feel like adam levine after a vote on "the voice." i'm like, i hate america. i'm not surprised at what these people do at all anymore. he is obviously terrible at his job for four straight years and everybody re-elected him. you can suffer, i'm telling you. we have already judged the guy to be a-okay and he stinks. he stinks from day one. >> and you will reap it. >> you know what, that's a tough opinion you have of the president. i would come back with a response, but that's a lot of effort on my part.
>> half the country, right? the other half think the guy is doing fine. no matter what happens, obviously he was terrible the first four years. we re-elected him. it doesn't matter what he does now. he has proven he can do what he wants and half of the country will like him. >> let me bring into this. for the past six years your population is a kneeing -- negative 70 billion percent. >> i take issue with that. it has a lot to do with the media and it has a lot to do with the right wing media. it is the boy who called socialist. >> he has been making fun of this guy from the easter egg rolls to the other flag lapel across the board. when fuel real issues coming up it is falling on deaf ears from the right and the left. when you pick at the guy for nothing when something comes around the corner no one is listening to you. that is from the famous fairy tale, the boy who cried wolf blitzer. >> but it is not wolf biltzer.
>> i think i know more about wolf blitzer than you do. >> i don't know. i don't think you can find fight santa clause. >> he doesn't exist. sorry to blow your mind. >> we have children watching. >> he exists, kids, the easter bunny too. >> i am having a meeting tomorrow with the santa clause division. there is one you know. they are the ones keeping this whole hoax alive. there are like 30 of them. anytime you say there is no santa clause they show up and beat the crap out of you. the thing is they are skinny young guys. they are not fat and old. coming up, chinese stock fell further as the country's central bank indicated the tightening credit policy will continue. we are not doing that story. instead, is a show better if everybody is nude? that's how lou dabbs pitched lou dabbs tonight. he is an exhibitionist and i
they were supported instead of deported. the irs sent more than $for46 million to unauthorized alien workers who claim he shares the same, the same exact atlanta address. and it gets not better. uh scoring to an audit -- according to an ought dit report report -- audit report there are thousands of unauthorized aliens . there are boat loads of refunds. the irs has been issuing taxpayer identification numbers to illegal aliens living in the u.s., but not authorized to work since 1990 sex. >> since 1996.
and washington has known about this problem for some tile. some time. they issued taxpayer numbers to illegal aliens to be in compliance with tax laws. this irs practice is counterproductive to the ins mission, to identify un documented aliens and prevent unlawful alien entry. unlawful i will yen entry, bill -- alien entry, bill, is not what you think. meanwhile, they cannot find their own. >> this is an all cat "red eye." >> bill, don't jump on him. he didn't know. i know he didn't know about the cat rule on monday. >> get your head out of the cloudsment. >> chris, you said in the break you had a theory. >> i do. i think the irs -- i don't want anybody to self-incriminate at this table, but everybody knows somebody who tried to cheat on their taxes.
whether it is steve jobs or willy nelson, they catch you. if somebody said go to that house. it has 24,000 illegal aliens and tell them they owe you money, i would give them a slice off the pot. give them protection money. here have some cash and we will all live. >> that's an interesting theory. you are a lawyer which makes you slightly smarter than me. what is going on that is making me so upset? >> it is my pants. no, go ahead. >> it is a conspiracy. i don't know how this is happening, but this is the god's honest truth. i overpaid my taxes by $25,000. i said to the irs, great, write me a check. i want to go to vegas. they said, no, we will just apply it to the taxes you will pay next year. now i know why. they are giving my money to these fake citizens and that's a conspiracy. >> is that legal? how do they know how much money you will pay next year? >> what if i close up shop and go live on the beach. won't pay anything. >> you can sue the irs right
now. i will be part of the class action suit as long as i get part of $25,000, but i won't do much work and i am not much help. >> i will go on record to say i don't think you should sue the irs and they do good work. this whole story makes me feel like a sucker. it goes back to my zombie, nonzombie theory. everybody is scared of zombies. no, just become a zombie. why don't i just become a scammer? >> my wife and i were plowed into by a car. he was nondocumented and they let him go. i said to my wife, why don't we go off the grid here? these people are doing great. he was delivering goods and services to somebody in midtown, and he drove away. i often feel like i should go off the grid. like john, i also overpaid $25 on my taxes. >> $25? 25 bucks? did they write you a check? >> isn't that what you said? >> 25,000.
>> she is richer than you are. >> and they didn't pay in bags of bulion. bill pays in bulion, but it is the chicken cubes. >> they haven't caught me yet. >> that was my favorite snack as a kid, bulion cubes. i used to say the and watch television and eat bulion cubes. >> this explains a lot of things. you are a sad, strange man. they are square and hard. you might as well eat a leggo, a salty leggo. >> did it ever occur to you let's watch a cat video. exactly. >> it is like chewing on the tongue of your shoe. why would you do that? >> i think i needed sodium or something. i don't know. >> no. no one needs that much sodium. >> a regular kid's candy like tums. >> you know what candy i used to eat as a kid? aids. >> what?
>> i had three older sisters and they used to buy -- anybody who grew up in the 70s remembers aids. it was ayds and it was a chocolate candy. they would hide it under their bed and i would find their ayds and take their ayds. >> it was not candy. it was diet pill. >> it was a chocolate thing called ayds. i would take it and eat it all the time. >> you know sometime in the early 80s the company got together and said what is this marketing media about? i don't know it is something about the name of our company. >> do you think we should change it? and by the way all of my sisters got fat. no, but i ate all of their candy. and then they lost weight. >> are you saying they had eating disorders? i'm sorry gutfeld clan. >> coming up, more cat videos. they are the link to this show. first, why the heck did this dude do this? we will answer this and other pressing questions in why
13 million viewers praying he would die -- i mean watching. that's double "red eye"'s number of viewers by the way. wallenda didn't have a harness, but he had some help. >> thank you, lord. thank you for calming that cable, lord. thank you, god. >> anyway. we will discuss this shall we this thing -- >> lightning rooooouuuunnndd. lightning round. >> you know, tom, are you a religious guy. i know that because you often tell me that. why did this guy who is a daredevil and is baskly tempting nature. he is tempting nature to take him out. why does he think god cares about him surviving these stunts when there are people on the same time all over the planet dying in accidents that are of no fault of their own? >> you know, he is just trying to reach out. he is in danger and that's
what people do. that's fine. that's what you should do. i think this guy is great. i am pro daredevil. >> you are? >> yes. how many things bring us together anymore? we can all watch this guy and be rooting for him. it is fantastic. >> you know what is funny, you are right. this was family viewing. i watched this with my wife. everybody is watching and they wanted to see him fall. that is family viewing? you sicken me. >> we do not want to see him fall. that's wrong. we want to see him succeed. we love it. it is people pushing themselves. in this world where everyone is safe all the time, don't climb on that. you go to central park and honey, the grass, it is sharp. put your shoes on. they worry about sharp grass. >> he is like the op sift everybody in america. he is not talking about his feelingses. he is asking god for mercy and doing something on live tv that could get him killed. he doesn't look like a balance leer rena. -- balance leer -- ballerin,
fat guy, black shirt. >> you convince me that the way he looks and what he is doing -- it is refreshing to hear anybody pray on tv. i don't think i have heard that in ages. he wants to do this now in new york between the empire state build expght chrysler building which is a building made of cars. i didn't know that. >> i didn't watch it. you know why i didn't watch it, it made me nervous and i did not want to see him fall to his death. >> they had a tape delay of one month. >> good. so he is still out there? >> he is still there. actually he hasn't even started yet. he is in a motel on the side of the road praying. no, he did fine and did good. everybody knew he was going to do it, bill, right? >> ya, but do you watch football? at least those guys have abs and they do it together in the middle of the field. to your point, exarktly. the entire time he is going
thank you, lord, thank you, lord. there are some starving kids in ethiopia. there are nine on the rope going thank you for helping that rich, fat guy, lord. thank you for helping that rich, fat guy, lord. meanwhile i haven't had a meal in months. that's my impression of an ethiopian kid. after the stunt, the discovery channel aired "naked and afraid." i watched it. it is not about my new intern. itit dops two strangers off with no food, tools, clothing and they must survive. they were naked. it was awkward, tom. >> i don't want to watch this show. >> i watched it. >> i don't want to see the nudity. you know what i like? "survivor man"? they air drop him in the middle of the woods and he has to be all alone and he survives for a week. it is fantastic. >> how is he all alone if you are watching him? cameraman. >> he has no cameraman.
he carries a knapsack full of cameras and does his own shooting. >> i don't buy it. this had four million viewers. nobody watched this because they weren't naked. they watched it because they were. >> i was going to say if you took naked and afraid and condensed it from 21 days to two and a half that is my friday night. >> we have to hit it on friday. >> what do you do on a friday night for two and a half hours? >> i am a single girl. >> but you have an option to put clothing on. >> why bother? >> why the fear -- i am worried about where you are naked. i don't want you to be scared when you are naked. >> that's all i will say. chris? so many things are wrong with this. the awkwardness of staring at each other was strange. do you think the producers will let them die? >> the awkwardness is because he got that from the tree of knowledge. it is not from a state.
a quick google search tells you you don't want to see them naked. what they should do is remake the show as naked and unafraid in the city. there is a machine man that comes back from the future and kills punks and takes their clothes and goes on a rampage. that would be awesome. >> naked and afraid. i like that. you know what you just did? you took "the terminator" and took it from the opening scene by the dumpster into a movie. >> hollywood has been doing that for decades. >> bill, you watched the show nude with your homeless buddies in the park. how was the reception on your portable tv? >> we were by a window at best buy. it is free if anybody is visiting new york and is homeless. the beauty of the show is the title itself. if you know there was a survival show there is no way in heck you would watch it. the sub title should be people on meth. aside from the fact that there is nudity. that's a good point.
forget the meth part. >> you know what, i want to make a prediction though, five years from now, there will be an all nude channel. this is something people will tune in because it is interesting. i thought it was creepy. i leak how when they first met the guy tried to do eye contact, but was looking down at her bits. the cameraman must be incredibly grossed out. he has to sit there and look at them from behind. they kept showing the guy's butt. the nudity is gratuitous. it is not necessary. >> and forcing them to only eat chili? come on. we don't need it. >> we have to take a break. when we come back we will talk about something. you know what is great, what is better than nudity 1234 the joy of hate. my book. it is on amazon.com. you know what bill riley said about it? nothing. he said not reading it. not reading it.
should your friends have fun when your day is done? what songs do you want played at your funeral? the av club posed that question and it got us thinking. then we took a nap. and then we made a sandwich. and then we thought about it some more. some of the website staff said his classic, i get wet album. the whole album in its entirety. and tuesday's gone by acdc. i picked "it's raining men" because i will be in a meat locker with my favorite house boys. they will be alive, but not for long as they scratch
feverishly against the metal doors. i will be permanently smiling because i will have my mouth surgically like that. they will be terrified. tom? question, anything? what is your coping choice? your song choice? is it a good idea? >> no, have i no song choice. i will let the church organist decide. i want a traditional funeral and i want a priest saying damn you all to hell. i am tireg like they are in "the big chill." did you get the reference? >> something tells me you would probably surprise people with something like -- by slayer. >> i love you more and more. >> i selected "wasting away in margaritaville" because that's probably how i am going to go. >> i love you. >> so she likes to get drunk
and likes to be naked and afraid. >> ding, ding, ding. we have a new favorite for the leg chair. >> everybody does this every once in awhile dreaming of what their own funeral will be like. is that healthy? >> i am living forever. when i have to fake my own death to get away from the irs, i am probably going to screw it up. they won't be able to resist lowering myself with the song "fame, i wanna live forever" playing. >> i just want it to be a party for everyone. it is a celebration when you think about it. >> i like that. wait, am i supposed to celebrate your life or mourn your death? >> celebrating both. really i am alive in you. i will be cremated and then injected into your veins so you can get high off me. bill, you are a huge menudo fan. would you stay true to them even in death? >> 80s menudo.
the song i would want when i am dead is "who cares. i am dead." a lot of things can be applied to that phrase "when you are dead." i may want the people at my funeral to bewaring who cares, you are dead. you are not hear anymore and you won't hear any of it or see any of it. and there are a lot of cats on this show. i am still angry. >> wow. i am tied with the theme to "boughbanana splits". >> wasn't it its own song? >> we are not done. >> was that written just for that show? >> it is called -- look it up. >> it is called theme from the bough banana splits. >> all right. do you have a comment on the show in e-mail us. if you have a video ever your animal doing something, not a cat, go to fox news.com/red
back to andy levy for the post game report. hi, andy. >> hi, how are you? >> you know how i am. >> not really. >> well, maybe you should check in more often. >> i don't see any need to do that. where is snowden? tom, you said snowden is going from china to russia to havana and then venezuela. i believe ecuador is what you are thinking of. not venezuela. >> i get them confused. there are so many down there. >> dig your racist hole even deeper. >> well i am not surprised he would say that. look at him. typical white guy. >> i'm with you. the journalist on the snowden list flight is the greatest thing in the world. even better what the captain of the plane said when the flight landed in cuba and he was asked who was on the flight he said, quote, no
snowden, no special people, only journalists. >> that's mean. >> i like that. johnny, you said snowden shouldn't be running that espionage charges are rare. he is the eighth person charged under the espy espionage act. only three people prior to president obama were charged under this act for leaking. it is becoming less and less rare. >> i guess so. thank you, president obama. >> obama has been charging a lot of people with leaking. that's what we can gather from what andy just said. >> yes. by the way daniel elsberg stuck around for trial. >> i think it is electronic now and it is so easy to leak. back then you had to pass envelopes to people. >> you know who is really getting hurt in all of this? the ma nell law envelope industry. >> and the pumpkin patch farmers.
>> that's funny. >> i don't get it. >> they used to drop off the noetts in the pumpkin patch -- the notes in the pumpkin patch. >> my ignorance was betrayed no. >> the worst part are to you, greg, when you are caught skulking in the garages you can't claim you are working on a big story. >> that's why i have a manila envelope and a pumpkin with me. >> something about a hole in the pumpkin, but no. jim carrey disuh vois "kick ass2" and you say he is a genius because he will get out out of promoting the movie without breech of contract. i don't know. the studio may give him some trouble. >> you may be right, but it is guaranteed that was a big part of his strategy. >> do you really think so? >> he would have thought they agree with his politics. all right you get a mulligan.
>> i think you are giving him too much credit. or am i not giving enough credit? >> interestingly, one of the things he points out is that carrie's kickoff character is a born again christian who refuses to fire a gun. and carrey said that is something that attracted him to the role. maybe i shouldn't have started that with interestingly. >> subjective. >> might have been a typo. pew poll showing it is not hurting president obama. tom, you are not surprised by what people do any are month. meaning they don't hate president obama. isn't the real truth seem plea that the -- truth simply that the economy is getting better? that's what people care about? >> no. no it wouldn't be. the economy isn't getting better when they re-elected this guy. anything he does everybody is fine. it is the same people.
the smartest thing, think about the 47% of people not voting for him because they all have a hand in this of the government deal that the democrats are a part of, and then he backs off of it. he should have come out. am i right, greg gutfeld? >> i listened to you and you could be at any age -- you could be 60 or 70 and he would sound the same. i envision an 80-year-old man. >> i told you, you have the same thing like an angry man at the post office. >> tom, you are completely wrong. >> >> the romney comment hurt him. >> it did hurt him because he backed away instead of standing up to it. >> i don't think so. he backed away because it hurt him. >> he backed away because these little pencil pushers told him to and he is not an aggressive guy. i will tell you, andy. when the revolution does
happen, it is going to be because somebody stands behind what they say instead of denying what they say in these back rooms. >> see what i am saying, andy? did you just think he was a guy at the post office yelling at you? give me a rolf stamps. >> this is what i imagined having john mccain on the show. >> no, he wouldn't be that angry. >> it is an argument over bingo. >> irs and tens of millions of dollars in refunds. this story is unbelievable. on the other hand, you don't know how this is happening. are you really shocked to find that there is incompetence going on? >> oh my god, no. i am not shocked we are all funding the incompetence with my $25,000. it funded that incompetence. not shocked. appalled, but not shocked. >> we were all shocked to hear how much money you make. wouzers. holy toledo. >> i would like to see the face you made when you realize she had said $25,000 and not $25. >> what was your face?
>> it was that. that was accurate. >> do you think this goes back to -- i forgot to bring this up, but do you think h and r block is involved in this? could this be a conspiracy with r and r block and -- with h&r block and other people? >> fox news advertisers, h&r block. >> h&r block does fine work. >> how about h and r puff and stuff. >> the company behind the appetite suppressant aydes, they had to drop their name. sales dropped after the awareness of the disease in the 80s. then they changed their name to diet aids. >> oh. done drapper didn't help them much. >> is it gone now? >> the candy? at least in america. it never goes, but you can take medication.
first of all, greg, if nick wallenda was you on that cable you would have been cutting deals left and right with god. >> of course. it is people though taking risk with their lives. that's taking a lot of time from god that could be used with other people who are not taking time. >> i believe the counter argument to that is if god is only -- omnipotent then it doesn't matter. >> i am too, but i take pills for that. >> the jeans wallenda was wearing, buffalo jeans and they hillary name that style after -- will rename the style after him. >> the wallendas. >> lastly what song do you want played at your funeral? gangnam style obviously. >> thank you. >> and the banana split theme song one banana, two banana. >> who per formed it? >> i have no idea.
i can't remember. >> thank you, andy, john, schulz, chris, tom, i am greg gutfeld and i will see you next time. [ chirp ] all good? [ chirp ] getty up. seriously, this is really happening! [ cellphone rings ] hello? it's a giant helicopter ma'am. [ male announcer ] get it done [ chirp ] with the ultraugged ocera torque, only from sprint direct conct. buy one get four free for your business. ♪ right. but the most important feature of all is... the capital one purchase eraser. i can redeem the double miles i earned with my venture card to erase recent travel purchases. d with a few clicks, this mission never happened. uh, what's this button do?
the factor next. >> laura: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> george zimmerman is not guilty of murder. he shot trayvon martin in self-defense after being viciously attacked. >> laura: the george zimmerman, trayvon martin murder trial finally gets underway as the defense plays the dramatic 911 tape. >> 911, do you need police, fire or medical? >> maybe both. i'm not sure. there is just someone screaming outside. >> what is your -- --just heard gun shows. shots. >> we are following all the appropriate legal channels and working with other countries to make sure the rule of law is observed. >> laura: where in the world was edward know den. he was a