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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  September 20, 2015 7:00pm-8:01pm PDT

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left this evening. as always thank you for being with us. set your dvr so you never miss an episode. it hurts our feelings if you are not here. thanks for being with us. have a great night. >> i am greg gutfeld. please hold your applause until the end. here's what's coming up. >> the three-hour cnn debate held candidates exhausted and sweaty. just like me after my new spin class. the winners the lootssers and t private pictures i have i have kate. does not smack down the supporter who says the president wasn't an american. in a bad el between needians and kids he sides with the kids, traitor. don't's guest kimberly guilfoyle, robert kelly and joanne. america you smell great like a kitten soakd in lilac and tears.
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>> this is a stain on his personal legacy. >> i have to agree it's a little bit childish. >> i think it is sostupid. i don't think it is necessarily offensive, just ridiculous. >> shut up racist. >> last week's debates is like a big roast chicken one you can pick at for hours. some of it tasty, some of this dry, other parts were stringy and weird. after that you felt bloated and sweaty like you have eaten a beach ball made of jackal fur. what have we learned? there is no padding in polemics.
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>> it's like senior citizen tags. and the kitty table without carly is like watching the pips without gladys. at least this fella killed. >> i wasn't the best law student. by the end of the debate it would be the most i would spend on any library. >> it was awesome. he would have been a great next-door neighbor on the golden girls. always there with a grin a wrench to fix the leak and later he satisfied blanch. we learned ted cruiz will never stop kissing trump's rump. it should be ted cruz i am donald without money. >> i am very glad that donald trump is staying in this race, has force the the mainstream media to finally talk about illegal immigration. >> like the guy in high school who holds the jock's jacket
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while beating up nerds. ted also taught us how to stair. >> if i am elected president on the first day in office i will rip to sleds the catastrophic iranian nuclear deal. >> it is like you are trapped with an elevator like a street musician. what happened to pen ben? >> i don't want to get into describing who is a politician and who is not a pol significance. i think the people have kind of made that decision for themselves. >> if ben got any more relaxed it would be a jimmy buffet song. a spoeshg has higher pulse maybe that's good for a surgeon. >> i would certainly love to get in on this. >> i want to ask this question. >> i am going to say this. >> he waited 45 minutes for that first question. it was like a gay couple trying to get a marriage license in
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moore head. moore head. that's ironic. what are the tough questions? >> earlier this year the treasury department announced a woman may appear on the $10 bill. what woman would you like to see on the $10 bill? >> that's a tough one? >> sadly no one said caitlin jenner. doesn't any one want to win the election? >> nonsense on back seats. >> 25 years ago 35 years ago you look at the statistics not even close. >> it's an okay doctor. >> we have two doctors up there and neither resuscitated the truth. what next shall we discuss my ten tal fills which are listening devices? finally trump. >> first of all rand fall -- rand paul shouldn't be on the stage. >> short, fat, tall, ugly?
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>> i never attacked him on his looks. believe me there's plenty of subject matter right there. >> didn't suppose shade at rand paul he through the entire tree. true to his word donald coasted on past promises. >> we have a lot of really bad dudes in this country. if i get elected first day they are gone. i will have the finest team anybody has ever put together. >> i promise if i wanted it i would have got it. >> why prepare and then lose. if he wins he will just hire the people. it's a strategy but not a great one. the world is full of bad actors some are world powers others are smaller factions to see it as a stepping tone between 71 virgins. put tin, iran north korea they are all bad. now it can turn any punk into bin laden. unless the leaders face the deadly music we will face it ourselves. no back padding and platitudes will save us then.
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>> let's welcome tonight's guests. he's a genius ak activist and mohamm mohammed a willy of -- mohammad ali chess. he has a new book out. he is kimberly guilfoyle my favorite co host on the five. and excellent book making the case like a giant slap of hot roast beef this guy is on a role. robert kelly live on the village under ground now available on dvd is starring in fx series sex and drugs and rock and roll a great show among 20 other shows he is on. seriously robert take a break. >> she spends all of her money on begigin.
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>> offense katherine from national review. finally as stiff as wood and up to no good. it's our liberal panel. boo. i have to go to you first. >> right now where butte tin is amassing weapons in syria tease all over the place. what president would you see would be best suited to deal with putin out of the bunch you saw? >> marco rubio. he understands the nature of the regimes. he has passion, principles and it is said he would do certain things with the bill of rights in dealing with putin, chinese, north korean, dictators, iranian and mullahs. >> he came prepared. could trump be our putin? >> no. money then promoting his own interests and businesses.
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>> it recycled to melania. >> those are fun. i believe i was rough feeed by burl scone knee. you are val vating over tru-- sg over trump. what do you make of the debate and what do you think about trump? >> it is one of the best shows on tv. i got an audition for it. trump is, he's great, but everybody, carly, her energy is so -- i feel like she is going to make a coat out of 101 dal layingses. just ruthless. >> she will fire you. you know how donald says you are fired. carly fires everybody. >> and rand paul every time they
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show him he looks like mrs. roper. the hair. >> the hair. can't trust anybody who has the same hair style as mrs. roper. >> the one thing i hate she uses hs before w words like hwhy. bugs me as much as like schedule. >> that is such a profound commentary. i wonder if that signifies some kind of disorder and then you will have to do an apology allah the view. >> we talked about this for days on end. do you have any interesting insights? >> no. i am not even here. i love the set. what an upgrade. i think everybody is pretty into the carly fiorina thing. now they are saying what you are saying. little bit scary and very hard-core.
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putin would be afraid of her. marco rubio i like a lot. strong manned of foreign policy. >> that is true. >> he sweats like his wife is sitting next to his mistress in the audience. >> sweating is healthy. i want a healthy president. it's all that water he drinks. >> it is a good point. he was sweating because it was a three-hour debate which is almost like reading a book for you. >> yeah. and you know what? if we are talking about the long i don't read, carly standing in those high heels for three hours. i dare you to try it. i dare you. you won't be able to. as a millennial i definitely enjoyed the entertaining aspect, the debate. that lasted hours. the code names they asked about
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the women on the bill because that really got my attention. >> those were the millennial questions. >> you didn't need the last hour. his whole debate awas a bust in my opinion. no one won it and no one lost it. there was no winner like yes now i know who will get the nomination. i have no idea. >> i have a theory on that. the last hour should have been amputat amputated>> are those podiums or lecterns what's the difference and where are the podiums from? >> these are lecterns, the podium is a raised platform on which the speakers stand where as a lectern is the slantest stand on which a speaker places his or her notes. >> there were no platforms.
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i wouldn't be surprised if something like amazon.com, it is the largest enter net based retailer in the united states. >> the debate wasn't necessary. we know amazon is big. you got a b plus. i want to go to the liberal panel. my question to you liberal panel is we have, we, republicans. i am not a republican, i am a conservative. we have a done of great candidates i look over at your side and i feel bad. should we lented our candidates over to the democrats since your team is so pathetic? i think we have one and a half candidates? >> we have good candidates. we have those with platforms like the one cat talked about people who stand for something which is unlike the ones we saw there. you know who won the debate? hillary clinton. she was too busy. you make me sick.
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>> that's her laugh. you just did her laugh. you peiece of wood, termite ridden bark. >> that's what's great about trump he knows how to build walls. >> what does that mean? before i move on, you are the mohammed ali of chats. there are always these retired boxers. does anybody ever walk up to you and challenge you to chat? >> i don't do bars. >> i will beat him, too. >> he got serious. >> i got one finishing point. what donald trump did he would fire him at the apprentice. i am going to sell you so many cupcakes you are going to be sick of cupcakes. donald trump says go sell the cupcakes not until you hire me. that's what he is doing here. you are going to see all of this stuff happen. can we have specifics?
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you got to elect me first then you will see the specifics. >> you said cupcakes. he look likes a candidates that tastes good offers no interest without him and too much makes you sick. >> that's true. he once ate cotton candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner. it's not healthy. >> i talks to the american people like i talk to my wife. can we get additional? >> i am going to look into it. i got the people. i got a guy i know. another guy. i will get back to you. give me a couple weeks. i will look it out. you just nailed it. >> it will make your marriage great again. >> before we go a quick look at what are millennials joanne and katherine did at the debate. they sat around and spit cough drops in each other's mouths. here's hoping they did something better. >> all right.
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almost time to watch the debate. are you excited? >> i think we should have even more fun than last time. we should play a game. >> awesome, yes. what are you drinking? >> not a drinking game. a cross fit game. >> wow. >> every time the candidate says or does what's listed we do the corresponding exercise. >> some look really obscure. i don't know how much working out we are going to do. >> i don't want to work out at all. i want joanne to take one night off from drinking. i designed the game specifically making sure we don't have to move at all. >> this could be good for cat. she needs to work out a little more. i will sacrifice for her. >> the first thing we don't drink. >> iran wants us to drink more. >> wheelbarrows. >> we even have our own mr. t.
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>> all right. cart wheel. >> i can't do a chart wheart wh. oo if a fish swims in water it doesn't know it's water. >> jufrimping jacks. i can't even lose my arms. >> humble. >> donald trump said humble. he said the word humble. 17 pushups. >> i can't even do one pushup. >> more pushups? >> you know how pretty you are? is you are so pretty. >> i can't. >> ever ready it is very high energy, donald. >> i quit. i quit. >> are you quitting america? you can't do that. you can't do this to me.
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these are debates. it is serious. oh my goodness. >> oh. >> i learned nothing there. but up next, more of last week's debate with the new york city urban debate are going to make me look really stupid. not that i needed any help. 73% of americans try... ...to cook healthy meals. yet up to 90% fall short in getting key nutrients from food alone. let's do more... ...add one a day men's 50+. complete with key nutrients we may need. plus it helps support healthy blood pressure with vitamin d and magnesium.
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yes, we've moved. now, since wedn >> since wednesday's debate we have the talking head about who won, who lost and who should be killed. no one asked the pros. until now before you asked for it they brought the debate to get their take on the most recent events. please welcome nems members of new york city debate team. i want to go to you first chase because before we started you said ponies are better than un foreigns. how can y -- unicorns. >> ponies sound much better. on reality tv shows do you hear a young man or women saying i
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want a unicorn. they say i want a blue pony and we are going to name that blue pony blue pony. >> did you tie your own blow pie? >> i tied my own tie. >> let's talk about the debate. who do you think won and why? >> i think between two people chris christie and marco rubio. mostly the debate was made so they would fight each other. what it came down to is it had a plan for the future who has the most of out of what they were getting and how they were going to do it. >> how do you think the debate was moderated? >> it was moderateed by making the candidates fight each other and giving presidential quality america is looking for. >> it remind me do you remember a friend win high school or grae school gives you coulds sip like
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billy thinks your fat. he was sailing you know they don't like you donald trump. that gets everybody mad. >> what did you make of it? >> i thought carly fiorina was the best so far. donald trump i thought she had a lot of guts because of that. >> who do you think lost? >> i think there was a lot of hype that he was going to do so great. he didn't do as well as a lot of people expected. >> skipping you because i already talked to you. alexa, what did you think, carly, first of all? >> i think carly did an excellent job. she knew what she was talking about. she had a plan for every one of the questions. she also talked about it is really for the voters to decide. of course everyone wants their opinion to be broadcast.
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i think she did a good job. >> when you look at the field and sitting next to me, do you think i am probably a better candidate than all of them? >> yes. of course. first i will be the next donald trump of our next generation. he is funnier and his hair is actually real unlike donald trump's. >> i think his hair is real it's just unusual. >> it is very diplomatic of you. >> was it too long? people were saying it was too long. >> for a debate that wasn't really a debate sort of a verbal death match it was more so long with that after talking about actual issues they spent mostly an hour talking about each other
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and sort of spent 50 minutes debating who is the most pro-life. come on. >> do you ever use your debate techniques on your pictures in order to get out of homework? >> not yet. but i have been planning to for times like this. there are times when i have to put up homework and not focus on the debate. i do plan on that. >> do you have any tips for me? let's say i am talking on a show with somebody who disagrees with me. i say i like un foreigns he doesn't he likes ponies. what tips would you give me to win that debate? >> first of all, unicorns shoot rainbows. >> they shoot rainbows?
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>> you should always bring up points you know is true and you know the other thing can't do. >> very good point. >> last question for you, chase. you missed last time. president obama invited a kid to the white house. dud th does that upset you? shouldn't you be biden? >> the child, he is is a very important person. 14 years old with experience but why can't i go to the white house? even though i can't make a homemade clock out of wood, it's okay. i still love grilled cheese. >> i would like to see a grilled cheese sandwich in the shape of a clock. >> i will see you after the next debate on the democrats next
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>> oh, yes, the muslim question.
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>> we a problem in this country. it is called muslims. we know our current president is one. you know he's not even an american. >> we need this question. >> anyway, we have training camps knowing they want to kill us. that's my question. when can we get rid of them in>> we are going to talk about this and a lot of things. >> saturday he tweeted this am i morally obligated to defend this president every time someone said something bad or controversial for him. was this a setup and do the supporters even care. >> was that anthony? you have the same acting ability. >> how did trump handle it? >> i mean, saas i said before. it is a guy, yeah. >> it was weird. but then i don't think he heard
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him, but he actually did that wife thing again. we are going to look into it. give me a few months. i think he handled it perfectly. he didn't hear what he said. this guy was definitely a plant. human beings don't act that bad. >> they still haven't found the guy. he's still unidentified. that means he's a plant. they found joe the plumber in 10 seconds. >> there you go. nobody wants to -- they are trying to make trump mess up, right and have him slip up. i don't know where it is coming from. you think it's a comedy plant someone would come forward. maybe it's from a political campaign. >> the guy's delivery. anyway, come on, we are not that stupid. where is the guy? identify yourself. >> gary, what did you make of his response? is it trump's fault he didn't have something ready? >> trump's biggest problem the
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certificate and man neep controversial statements about immigrants and people of different confessions. whether it is a plan most likely or someone there just ask this question. trump has the same answer, you know. >> you can't get. that was casting. >> central casting. >> charles cook from national review says he was channeling an inner miss america by being purposefully nonsense cal. you are an expert. >> i answer questions without answering questions all of the time. but this wasn't even a question. the man was just airing what he felt how he felt about this country in. if you watched the rest of that whole thing a lot of people were asking questions, but they weren't. they were airing their
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grievances. trump did the same thing to them as he did to this man. listening, okay, great, on to the next one. so i don't really think -- we are making a big taw due out of this more than we need. >> i have to go to the liberal panel. this citizen's question started with hillary clinton when she was running against obama. are you proud of that? >> starts with hillary clinton. it started with supporters not her campaign that just is not true. by the way to say this is some kind of a plan is to say right wingers can't take responsibility for the fact that there are people like that who are supporting trump. that's his base. that white anti muslim islamophobic that's the base of donald trump. you people on the right can't take responsibility for that. >> look at your base. what are they made of occupy wall streeters people who want to kill cops? >> i just did what you did.
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i echoed you. i did a corollary to your a tack. >> a corollary to my attack? is i am not even sure what corollary means but i think i used it correctly. >> nobody wants to kill cops. liberals don't want to kill cops they are extreme whackos on both sides. >> that's who trump is appealing to to the white, angry, anti pus lem am. >> i think you are attacking me now, sir. i want to ask cat a question. do you think donald trump felt uncomfortable answering? >> i bant see it but probably. he has a faw if i ams april 10th, 2011, on cnn. april 19th on good morning america. march 17th cnn. march 23rd, 2011, on the view.
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march 28th on fox and friends. march 30th o'reilly factor and july 6th, 2015, of this year on cnn, i could go on and on but i have somewhere to be in two hours. >> frankly i was getting bored. >> you know what? i was, too. hopefully people will get bored with trump eventually. >> we have to go. still to come. here i am. a surprise guest. first a word from our sponsor. >> tonight's show is sponsored by goalies, the defensive players on a team who prevent the opposing players from scoring. thanks, goalies. ♪ the 306 horsepower lexus gs. experience the next level of performance, and there's no going back.
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believe me, did >> i speak of former comedian sara silverman who explained in a recent vanity fair interview why it is important to accommodate pc minded cohen. >> everyone is going to be offended by something so you can't just decide on your material based on not offending any one. but i do think it is important as a comedian, as a human to change with the times, to change with new information. you have to listen to the college aged. because they lead the revolution. they are pretty much always on the right side of history. >> absolutely. >> donald said censorship is a bunch of poppycock. >> i don't agree that you when you become students have to be
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coddled from different evil. >> you shouldn't silence them by saying you can't come because i am too sensitive. >> silverman of course is no stranger to the pc comedy debate. a long time ago she trained an appearance by conan. she refused to admit an activist did this. >> i am talking about you. i am not talking about all asian americans. >> the hatred behind that word. >> there are only two asian people i know that i don't like, one is you and the other is -- >> i am hurt. >> and the other is one who went pee pee in my coat. >> strangest angriest debate ever. you are friends with sara. >> yeah, i love her.
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>> disappointed or do you understand this? >> of course i understand it. you are being interviewed on the spot about a movie. i love sara. she is funny. she is a comedian. i don't agree we should be sen soared. i don't agree that college students know it all. she said two things. she said we know what the fugitives are doing. i think she was, you know they don't evolve. >> if you look back 20-years ago damon wayans was playing a mentally retarded guy we are all at home going handyman. it was huge. you can't do that today. we evolved. >> maybe a black president a woman president. we have the guy p on the wheat tee's box is a woman. >> i would argue that. you don't do that at a work
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conference. on a college campus aren't kids supposed to love all of that appropriate stuff? >> kids are taste testing who they are going to be? what their opinion really is. when they first start college they could think this way. by the end of it, you get up to the real world that changes, too, and that signkind of sol l fys. >> the real world is the cold water in their face. they aren't prepared to get their feelings hurt. >> they need to get them hurt immediately and quickly. including the professor. i think she is going to go on tour in college campuses. she is with me and i am with you. it's a little bit like smoochy smooch. you are so ahead of the game you decide and you are figuring out history. we are going to be on the right course. >> do you have this problem in russia? >> you guys do stand-up comedy
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there? oo they are violating the rules. it could be detrimental to their health. >> terminal. >> we are back to square one. >> you did a backoyakof smirnof. >> my problem is intolerance is just a product of old people. it is the young people that come along and old people believe. like an inversion with age comes wisd wisdom. now with age comes racism. we have to send out things hey, cameraman over here. we got other stuff to do. coming up one of my family members was at the de brat.
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since the
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>> since the debate was 8,000 miles away and i didn't feel like flying there, i sent someone in my place. it was my nephew garrett. my nephew garrett rosarirosario. how are you doing? >> i am doing great. how are you? >> i am doing great. thanks for asking. >> yeah, you are. no need to be sarcastic. looks like you had pretty good seats, right? >>, yes, i did. >> how long were you seated there? >> i was there seated from 2-8. 6 hours sitting. you could go to the bathroom but during the commercial break they were only two minutes long. no way you can go to the bathroom and get back in two minutes. >> you held it in. >> yeah. i have a very small bladder. >> did you have a bottle next to you? >> i should have. no. >> were you sitting next to anybody famous? is did you meet anybody?
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>> mitt hugh hewitt's wife betsy hewitt. >> did you tell her you were related to me? she wasn't that impressed. she said cool and then she moved on. >> let's move on to the second picture. >> this is a menu. did you eat while you were there? >> i did eat but i also took some them. i am a college student. i am on a budget. i moved in early at my campus there are not many on campus. there are a lot of animals i brought into my apartments some rabbit the and squirrels. i brought them food. >> that is so nice of you. >> this is interesting. this is a picture -- who are these guys? >> first off, while i was waiting in line. i was bored so i went on tinneder. i got matched up with this guy. i thought it was a guy looking straight at me. i was trying to painitake a pic
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of him matching it up with the picture on tinneder. >> my sister and your mother will probably be watching this at some point. thank you for that. did you meet frank luntz at all? >> no. i did see him there but i did not approach him. i didn't feel like raising my hand. >> let's go to this next. isn't this like brandon flowers from the killers? >> yeah. he's my man crush. pretty much the reason i sent that to you is you didn't like my picture on instagram with him. i sent it to you. >> has nothing to do with the debate? >> no. i just wanted you to see it. >> do we have another picture? what's this? >> i have no idea. >> you have no idea. that came with your picture. >> you know it's actually from work. i don't know -- i accidentally sent it to you. this is -- i work on the campus
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tours office and that's our uniform. >> all right. garrett. well done. i will be seeing you in a few weeks when i have a meeting with you and your parents and we discuss your future. >> all right. great. >> up next, greg mail. in a few weeks how to be right. it's traes automobile octob-- october 27th. the tour starts october 28th in new york. here's a look at some of the places i will be. go to my web site. gutfeld.com for more information on bill o'reilly. frush frush frush frush the cold truth is,
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♪song: "that's life" ♪song: "that's life"♪ that's life. you diet. you exercise. and if you still need help lowering your blood sugar... ...this is jardiance. along with diet and exercise, jardiance works around the clock to lower blood sugar in adults with type 2 diabetes. it works by helping your body to get rid of some of the sugar it doesn't need through urination. this can help you lower blood sugar and a1c. and although it's not for weight loss or lowering systolic blood pressure, jardiance could help with both. jardiance can cause serious side effects including dehydration. this may cause you to feel dizzy, faint or lightheaded, or weak upon standing. other side effects are genital yeast infections, urinary tract infections, changes in urination, kidney problems, and increased bad cholesterol. do not take jardiance if you are on dialysis or have severe kidney problems. stop taking jardiance and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of an allergic reaction. symptoms may include rash, swelling,
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and difficulty breathing or swallowing. taking jardiance with a sulfonylurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take and if you have any medical conditions. so talk to your doctor, and for details, visit jardiance.com. ♪ >> it's time for greg mail. the address is gregmail
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>> it is time forreg mail. i read he answers and we do r&b themed karaoke. rebecca leads us off. she wonders if you had a theme song, what would it be? >> neat question. i think it would be this one. >> maybe this one. >> ♪ >> next one. rob with two b's mind you asks is there any advice you can offer lonely men like me in pursuit of example onship? -- companionship. >> makes it look like you are
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pretentious. i don't have two g's. be important. if that doesn't work murder a better looking person and wear their skin as a costume. i have become more successful. you have not seen mel gibson. >> you do look like a smaller mel gibson. >> i tend to start crushing on every guy i meet. you haven't been skired from my mind. it is annoying i can't have a boyfriend and can't figure out how to stop it. >> my advice is to give in to your desires. bring enough clothes for a long weekend. don't purchase a round trip. you won't need it. >> the port authority sfwl ? >> that's where it all starts. for some that's where it all ends. >> is that it? we are done.
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>> robin kelly, katherine. joanne, the urban de late league, derek the liberal panel. . the constitution grants them that. what do you think? let me know. with the syrian regime, terrorizing its people. >> they use the little poles to hit us and torture us. >> and isis on the rampage as well. >> either we become muslims or pay the tax money they want or they kill us. >> some wonder if america should do more. >> there's a full blown christian genocide. >> with jordan caught in the cross fire. its leader is trying to stand up to them. can america afford to stay on the sidelines? >> kill the bad guys, you kill the bad gu

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