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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  October 3, 2015 10:00pm-11:01pm PDT

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>> here's what's coming up. one nin ut pope francis warns of the dangers of everything. boehner resigns the next moment. what if the next dalai lama is a woman? he doesn't mean persona. five days what happened to the charmed life of new york's pizza racks. an exclusive report this hour. let's get this show started. i have to be somewhere in an hour. >> where d the several of professionalism you expect? >> it is something to fill up a 24-hour news sickle. >> at some point you have to have a plan. >> i don't think he knows what
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to do. i think he is surprised about that. >> you know after you drink a lot you swear you are never going to drink again? it is the same thing with debates. this last week has been one long debate hangover. fraught with nausea we rehydr e rehydrate, george on comfort foods and say never again. why not now take stock? where are we in this mess. to quote a bartender, you doo to go home guys, but you can't stay here. as we swear off the sauce forever suddenly the hangover fades and you are ready to get back on the horse and look at the menu. first dr. ben gets bombed on islam. >> do you believe that islam is consy sis -- consistent with the constitution. >> i would not advocate we should put a muslim in charge of
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this nation. i would not agree with that. >> it's the opposite of am big louse. >> as carson is firm locker locks off. >> i will suspend my campaign immediately. i encourage other presidential candidates to do the same. >> amazing applause. then the weeping sherbert follows. >> just a few minutes ago speaker boehner announced he will be resigning. >> that is just mean. truly, it was the boehner of their existence. another lump coming from trump. >> you have to this clown marco rubio. i have been so nice to him. i have been so nice. >> really has. >> crews light the fuse. >> have you vote for me under no
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circumstances the ayatollah who chance death to america under no circumstances will iran be allowed to acquire new weapons. if the ayatollah doesn't understand that we may have to help introduce him to a 72 virgins. what does he mean by that? speaking the language iran's extremists might understand? perhaps. at least something positive came along. >> buenos dias. >> hello everyone. >> if only he could run for president? but he wasn't born here. not like that matters. even with the pope things got interesting by those who politicize it every day. it was not stopped like we were tracking a package but not a pope. image a bathroom wall where the graffiti keeps changing that's a
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2016 race thanks to twitter. it is boogood and bad bad in th it is turning them into enemies. for you boomers jerry lewis and dean martin attack ourselves no the our ad ver terri -- adversa. for now let's pace ourselves. bingeing early is always bad. it is like being tracked and waiting for the game. you might wake up to sanders or clinton. now that's a hangover. >> we will get to my guests in a moment. i want to go to our dc brur row and get t-- dc bureau. jonah, first off, summer is over, the fall has begun. what is your take and inventory so far? >> on the presidential interaction or on my daily
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drinking? the two are closely related. the reason scott walker drove out is by his own hand. i don't think all of the guys need to be dropping out. the problem for walker is he had a burn rate of 1 million or 2 million a week. he couldn't sustain it. a lot of these guys are living off of the land. they are being smart about their money. what a lot of them are waiting to do is wait to see if jeb bush drops out. you spring in front. >> i don't follow that sport. >> you must have seen days of thunder or the will ferrell movie. that's where i get all of my nascar preference -- references. >> what about cheering when
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boehner says he is going to resign. >> it depends who hates them. if you hate republican leadership if you think they are all evil, horrible then boehner leaving only to have the leadership team up, i like kevin mccarthy. i don't know that we don't do better but we could do a hell of a lot worse. the people who hate the establishment shout rhino all day long about how evil it is what they may have done is had kevin mccar that he take over. >> he is more to the left of boehner. what about this fracturing you are talking about? is this a permanent thing? >> i hope it is not permanent. if it is my advice is buy gold. two things. one is a delayed bush backlash.
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he did all kinds of structural damage to the conservative movement. the entire presidency like a common section troll driving the republicans bat tee. they don't know how to respond to them because thhe hasn't plad by the rules. he's gone around congress and in response republicans are starting to say we have to do that, too, and fight fire with fire. it is a mess. >> i think that's the lesson we are learning that now we fight dirty. go and resume your heavy thinking. -- gavin mckin it. she at the times rainbows. they put the jib and glib.
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editor in chief. part of her probation is that she sit here and not stab any one. joanne nose ch joanne. finally made of wood up to no good, the liberal panel. >> shut up liberal panel. i didn't ask you a question yet. you know who i want to go to first, carrie. you are the most normal person here, meaning probably -- >> that's not saying anything. >> instantly i know nothing. >> have you been paying attention? what are your -- what is your assessment so far? >> i don't know. >> what exactly are you referring to. you ass. no. where do you see this going?
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>> the race. >> i mean, racism is bad. so we probably should say that first and foremost. it is historical most of the people who are giving me attention right now are people who are sort of celebrities and not really politicians. i think it's fascinating to me it also shows you where we are rate now in the world that leb britt is fun to watch. >> donald trump is upstream for politics and culture. he is providing a way into politics that we have not seen among the republican party. all right gavin. i am going to go to you. you are a big cruz lover. >> i love to cruz. >> cruz in bars and stuff? >> eerie possible facet. every synonym. >> what do you make of the kind of threat to iran? i haven't seen but i want to hear yours.
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the ma mority of the fen general product. we have spent so much time making coffee and bunt flflurnt. maybe we have our own draz zcra he was trying to get headlines. >> he is trying to cut the cord. this relationship is not working out. >> those are two med metaphors you shouldn't put together. >> what's the question? >> you must be jealous we have so many qualified candidates and you can't even cobble up one? p>> i like watching the republican party have an attack. i find myself as a liberal heartthrob defending people like scott walker who on paper he's a great candidate. he was an executive blue state. he had solid an the union cred. he would be the tyime of cannin
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d -- candidate. i think he could draw now. when it is to the left it is patriotic but when it is a republican it's the end. >> you are obviously a veteran of pageants. the camping scene has been more rather tan the crazy chaotic 18 month hell? >> the good thing about pageants is we sling a lot of nancy comments together. our insultings are disguised as pleasantries which i think the candidates need to work on. one thing that will unify the republican party is the de democrats. because they have their first debate coming up. there wasn't been enough material for everyone, aldrich.
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>> i am saying to lol so i don't see ry. at thats great for waking notes. it's grate people are spending is kind of a gles or whab bee this wasn't. chas kind of a bib lnl. given the fact you do whatever debbie wasserman schultz tells you what to do. >> i don't think it works that way. we will have people talking about issues at the debate rather than what we saw before. >> people talking about what's going on in the world people with policy ideas rather than debating, never been elected no
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anything. what are you talking about never been elected to anything. what are you talking about? >> trump, ben carson. >> he is a surgeon. more valuable than being here. >> wait a minute. i guess being a community organizer makes you even more qualified. >> jesus was a >> how many times do you say god in a political speech. i have a rear hee on skrolt walker. this is a sexist argument and you want to talk to a woman at the bar and abdi sided, i am leaving the bar. the first one was donald trump. i think tank i am tag go toik--f
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take off. walker quit because he's cheap. he didn't have a carol didn't spend money on consult doonts he cops out baud he didn't want to take money. style to come.
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and i am a certified arborist for pg&e.ughes i oversee the patrolling of trees near power lines and roots near pipes and underground infrastructure. at pg&e wherever we work, we work hard to protect the environment. getting the job done safely so we can keep the lights on for everybody. because i live here i have a deeper connection to the community. and i want to see the community grow and thrive.
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every year we work with cities and schools to plant trees in our communities. the environment is there for my kids and future generations. together, we're building a better california. >> you and i will be hoold one day. we won't like the way we are treated. they forget their elders. with age comes wisdom. now it is reversed. young people hold the truth and old people need the education. get this, the pope agrees with me. during his visit pope francis said seniors are part of a throw away culture. the pope called the elderly a store house of wisdom who can teach the rest of us something valuable. who revolutionized kylchild bir?
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some old person. who created highways and bridges to get you to and from rehab? an old person. who fought the war so you could sit in pajamas binge watching scandal? an old person. who stopped polio measles and alcohol old and likely dead people. here's the point we discriminated against age but age doesn't discriminate. black, white, old, woman, gay, straight we are all going to be old some day. show us respect and get off my launch. >> you are the normal person here? wasn't it refreshing. no one makes this argument. no one defends old people any more. >> every one that you mentioned probably knew all of those things when they were in their 30's. >> not all of them.
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we forget they did something. fought wars or created thing. a oo you know why? what are they done for me lately. >> when i was a child i used to walk around and i thought old people were always old. your grandmother was always a grandmother. that's how we kind of thing nk . >> in the capitolistic society the elderly should be sold for dog food. >> in a conservative culture there's important put on the familiar lip and old people stay with the young people. if you look at centenarians they are almost exclusively healthier when they are around kids. you guys fractured the family,
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put old people in old folks homes and literally made them go crazy. >> i agree. >> they have cross word puzzles for the elderly. it is your birthday today. >> it is. >> actually yesterday. you are a day older than you were yesterday. does it bother you you will age and be treated with less respect than you are as a beautiful young women? >> once i reach 29 i plan on saying there for forever. you know i agree family values of the structure of the family is totally disintegrated. the only good thing about that is i don't know that we will have another plague family members don't like to -- we don't want to touch any one or c care for any one. in that sense it will help humanity go on.
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>> the boomers are getting older now the hatred in the old is turning on themselves. they aren't sayiare saying don' call me grandpa i am not coming by. they are putting themselves in homes. >> it invented the whole youth culture and obsession. the idea that they are magical tree to creatures but they are not. >> i don't think you can get your mom to stay with you when she is 90. i am gross, i am old, look away. >> you have seen two celebrities say the same thing about the pc movement, that it exists for young people to educate old people on racism and bigotry. the intolerance toward humor is saying your jokes aren't fun fee because you are old and racist. cream abdul jabar says the same thing. it was the only thing the pope said that you couldn't politicize. that's why i don't think anybody
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talked about it. america sees everything through a political lens. you notice i transitioned like that. the pope's remarks this week were co opted by one party or the other defending human life or climate change that's one from the dance. the pope, what makes the pope so special to you? >> very qualified. he has been a priest. he has been a bishop. he was also a bouncer at a nightclub in buenos aires. >> that is true. if you want to hire somebody good you hire them from the restaurant. >> specifically a bouncer. if you can guide these drunk girls with no shoes crying where is my friends you can guide us all. >> that is true. liberal panel i bet you ignored this part of the pope's speech you referreded to because you couldn't turn it into an
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ideological shhot shot. >> you think the pope was somehow speaking from the left when he was speaking from the bible. a oo was climate change in the bible? >> it doesn't talk about abortion or gay rights. it talks about the climate, the poor, the homeless, the needy. that's the message from the pope. >> the climate? >> the environment. >> oh my god. oh, i didn't mean to say that. you know what happened? the pope would say something moral and it was like a hotel flashlight that you could tell what your ideology is. the hope would say something you would find out who the liberal was and republican was by how they would react to what he said. >> sometimes my metaphors don't work at all.
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there's so much to hov about new york city the subway system and the wildlife. finally a video that encapsulates all of these. like my monday no in 7th grade it went viral. do you have idany idea what the have done to this rat? where are they now? >> if you haven't heard the phrase the struggle is real, that i can take a look at this. a rat carrying an entire slice of pizza in the subway. the hashtag pizza rat. it was trending all over the internet and now you can see t. within minutes the internet had several theories. will this rat splinter taking food home to the ninja turtle.
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has mayor deblasio fail new york again? after the twitter verse nicknamed him pizza rat he couldn't go out in the public without someone buying him a slice. he quickly ballooned to over 1200 pounds. he appeared on nbc's the biggest loser and won the grand prize. it was taken away after he confessed to cheating. he had had his stomach stapled. pixar began working on a future film. the famous rodent will be voiceed by john rats zen berger who seemed thrilled about the project. >> it is a real treat to me. >> this has been a where are they now. >> kids to make clocks that look like bombs. and llamas who look like ladies. and llamas who look like ladies.
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next. ♪ expected wait time: 55 minutes. your call is important to us. thank you for your patience. waiter! in the nation, we know how it feels when you aren't treated like a priority. we do things differently. we'll take care of it. we put members first... join the nation. thank you.
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but i've managed.e crohn's disease is tough, except that managing my symptoms was all i was doing. and when i finally told my doctor, he said humira is for adults like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. and that in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems,
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serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible. >> it is time for the media to... >> 14-year-old ahmed muhammed was let out led out with handcu when he had this at school. this is clearly a clock.
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ahmed had a starring role. >> now we are going to talk with ahmed muhammed. >> i have a quick note to your teachers they are watching. please don't be alarmed this isn't a wall of explosives behind us. >> this won't be my last invention. >> something tells me we have not heard the last from ahmed muhammed. >> mark zuckerburg offered him to visit facebook. the president invited him to visit the white house. there must be no gray area in this story. marc cuban spoke with ahmed and had this to say on real time with bill maher. >> he is from dallas. i talked to the people in the school district. the kid is super smart kid, science geek. we talked about science. while i am talking to him on the phone as i asked him a question tell me what happened? i am curious, right? his sister over his shoulder you
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could hear her giving him the anticipateses. >> ahmed's sister told the daily beast, quote, i got suspended from school for three-days from the stupid same district from the girl saying i wanted to blow up the school, something i had nothing to do with. ahmed's family removed him and two siblings out of the school district because of religious persecution and decided to home school them. which i happen to endorse completely. what do you make of the story? is this totally by the book? did this actually happen or is there a bs detector going on? >> as soon as i saw this i thought this isn't borat in real life it is happening. i mean, the sad thing is that so many people got so involved emotionally with the kid, poor ahmed.
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we all just got punked. >> you believe it is a hoax? >> 100 percent. i believe he is totally full of crap. you can see it in how smug he is when he talks about it. >> you disagree with carrie? >> texans, i disagree with everyone in the building. they are seeing what they want to see in this case. let's say for the sake of argument he is a sleeper terrorist. let's say he is. >> he's not. >> let's say he is. >> you are making a bomb in the worst possible way ever. that is exactly -- >> he knew and he kept pushing it until it got there. by the way if a teacher sees something like that call the authorities. >> the teacher then called a bomb drill, gets all of the kids out of the school and goes to protocol. >> you cannot shame the people who want to take those steps.
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>> what you are saying is you think they have a problem. what everybody else is saying he might have created a situation. a friend of mine agrees with this and he compared it to the rosa parks bus incident which was also planned saying it was to create a movement because it's a good idea because it exposes islamophobia. if we did allow blacks to sit anywhere on the bus, that's the problem with that analogy. we don't have in oppressive islamophobia culture. we have islamophobia phobia. they took advantage of that. you didn't mention the cad claims to be this religious chic who has no followers. the mosques don't know where he is. i will rent it as a lawyer. then the qur'an burns. he has been an attention hog for a long time. threes a long line of publicity stunts. >> everyone fell for it even the
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president. >> thae the assumption people had about america. i think that's what happened. the other thing ahmed to me is like a status symbol for celebrities. it's like an officer gift bag. every celebrity that gets near gets their picture taken. >> that is part of the dangerous thing about this whole. the fact that he is getting all of this media attention. he's getting flown out to places getting all of this ex pesh our. people are going to pull off hoaxes like this in the hopes they will be rewarded. you cannot reward things like this. just because we have built or maybe how he was treated, maybe it went a little too far with the police handcuffing him or whatever, you can't have the guilt over that and have this be the response. >> it will be a great oliver stone movie. >> it will be a drunk episode. we are operating on an opinion that is also shared by bill maher but nobody goes after bill bar with this because he has the
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most bona fides. >> is there any evidence to suggest the kid -- seems like a good kid -- was actually looking for a little bit of hoopla? >> according to the dallas lorning news he showed the blclk to his engineering people at the beginning of the day. he said cool. maybe don't take that out any more. then he showed his english teach tier what i don't get about this is why do some hoaxes up. >> this story is done now. >> we dial don't know. this has not been finished. this is still -- i don't think i can call this a hoax because we don't have verification. we can think it was -- >> it is all about intention. you never know a person's real
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intention. >> i want to bring in the liberal panel. should ahmed be the democratic nominee for president. >>? autos inwayne. >> a bomb chicks, too. image if you were right or christian. >> get home for a cock part knowing it is going to call his terria. you goek theokay there? i happen to believe. i don't know if it's a hoax but i think the media just wants it be to be real so much. we will never know there is someone who moves of bases of
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that doesn't have to be a hoax. >> last one, john. >> you are all completely correct. more likely it is prejudice than con sere reseries. fair and balanced is how we do the shows. fair and falsed and drunk. >> the dal law llama. stay tuned. this bale of hay cannot be controlled. when a wildfire raged through elkhorn ranch, the sudden loss of pasture became a serious problem for a family business. faced with horses that needed feeding and a texas drought that sent hay prices soaring, the owners had to act fast. thankfully, mary miller banks with chase for business. and with greater financial clarity and a relationship built for the unexpected, she could control her cash flow, and keep the ranch running.
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chase for business. so you can own it.
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chase for business. hand apparently, they also lovee stickers.ing. what's up with these things, victor? we decided to give ourselves stickers for each feature we release. we read about 10,000 suggestions a week to create features that as traders we'd want to use, like social signals, a tool that uses social media to help with research. 10,000 suggestions. who reads all those? he does. for all the confidence you need. td ameritrade. you got this. >> he digs a pretty face. dalai lama said he would be interested in a female successor but only if she was attractive.
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>> (indiscernible) >> he's the greatest. i did some digging. i think he's wrong. look at what these people did. george clooney was batman. and of course clint howard is a living legend. you are the homeliest person i have ever seen in my life. are you upset by the tally llama look? >> what happened? he is the dalai lama. he is supposed to be the other world worldly above everyone, yeah, she is got to be hot. no one will listen to him. what? >> in a w exposing the truth of all men holy or not
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holy? >> the dalai lama is the head of a patriarchal organization l liberals love. that was dark side of buddhists. it is a very pate ariarch cal society. >> he will have to train her. he will have to spend a lot of time putting some work into whoever is going to be coming up next. >> i want to sigh what gavin has to say about that? >> he is right in that it would be better for pr if she was pretty. this show isn't dog down usa. >> you are so kind. >> thank you. >> this is how buddhism works. you don't just get to choose some hot mom's kid and say what about her? you have to talk to a lake and follow some smoke and do a bunch of really dumb stuff. >> that's your opinion. >> what is attractive to the
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dalai lama might not be attractive in the western culture. >> people like uni brows. >> cat, thoughts? >> well, i don't know. oy feel lii feel like people ha hard time relating to me because i am so attractive. that's something i struggle with. no one realizes how brillibrill because they are focused on my amazing looks. >> i am afraid to ask the liberal panel. i can't help but think alan colmes to be upset. you are much better looking than he is lib lerl xanl. that's done buns when tonight the cia hired a man called the
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seeker. >> july 20th, 17999 the secret was to close in on trevor outside of dallas, texas. he refused to go quietly and nearly bleaks his leg. >> he needs to learn a thing or two about how to fall and not get hurt. i could ask asked him if he would have only asked. >> he steals an suv and pushes it to the limit. he decides to shake when he should have baked. disaster strikes. or did it? >> if he lost an eye, leg or even an arm it wouldn't have been such a big deal. we can all be reconstructed. >> was it the end of the line for trevor? or was it much more incredible? what happened next would change
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a oo what were the biggest story of the week? diane has been begging me to do a report on it so take it away. >> (indiscernible) >> thanks, greg. it is time for hard hitting news. i am coming at you from every angle. we begin with a hard hitting news that hits a man harder than anything like a boxer. cnn news anchor anderson cooper had a on stage spanking from
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madonna. >> cooper will be moderating the fist democratic debate next month. he was not offered the same debate prep. he didn't actually say that. but i would be if i was him. speaking of hot and over rated starbucks has the toasted graham lat latte. not inspired lindsay graham which is unfortunate because he could use the help frankly. it is low sugar. low sugar option coming in at 40 grams of sugar. i fear for our future and you should, too. hopefully you will make it to your next birthday. hat peep birthday sopg is free for all to sing poorly. the copy right is invalid. no one should crop it as the
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bummest song ever. it is 4 lines long and 3 of them are exactly the same line. nobody understand profits more than gizelle bunch on. the super model and wife of the most hated man in america has photographed modeling shots for $700. no, that must be 70. no? not a typo. $700. that book costs more than most coffee tables. don't buy it. and finally, wrapprapper chris may be banned from performing in u australia. back to you, greg. >> thank you. >> an interesting way of ending a segment. i see what you did with the chris brown joke? >> what did i do? >> i don't know. i don't know. anderson cooper if i were up there he would be all over the
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place. >> if you were up there. there is more bias there. >> thank you so much. that was quite a report. >> up next, one more trip. in a f in a few week. you should reserve a copy now inbecause there is a huge state on it. 22 cities covering nine states. here are is look at some of the places i will be. go to my web site for more information. ♪ [ male announcer ] he doesn't need your help. until he does. three cylinders, 50 horsepower. go bold. go powerful.
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>> it was a she translating for
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she and she became he. president obama held a joint news conference with chinese president she jeping. >> it was translated by a she. >> (indiscernible). >> biological she. how refreshing. why shouldn't it be a she who translated for a she. >> he started translating for she. she translated with god. she teamed to be -- the official translator was he taking a knee to go to sleech i was at jim
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bore me. john sdoe bore. the literal earl panel. and i l tonight on "red eye," tom brady no longer endorses donald trump. tom, don't you want to make america great again? and jeb bush does the -- says the washington redskins shouldn't change their names because of the way it sounds. i completely agree, jeb, exclamation point. and closet doors everywhere have swung back open. our panel will provide frivoly and mirth.

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