tv The Greg Gutfeld Show FOX News February 14, 2016 10:00pm-11:01pm PST
hi, i'm greg with 20% more fructose. ted cruz is coming upment a story not as exciting as it sounds. a speaker invited to discuss free speech. you won't believe what happened next. and valentine's day week to end all valentine debates. actually, this one will have been forgotten quickly. hi, everybody. it's late and i have to bury the drifter in my trunk. ìáhp &hc% let's welcome tonight's gess. he's a hollywood legend. he plays ave on the television series. it's the legendary actor stooefr >> when he's not dancing shirtless, he owes for a moment
and friends weekend. it's tuck egg coralson. he ear tates more bowls than a plaed of chiotpltel. her idea of a balanced breakfast is a shot and a peer. it's the drunk, jahna. and full-timely x she's a waum-you believe walk storm cloud. but, first. >> in a poemt of supreme you are the court add else
fed kroud's campaign pulled an ad after they scene tone. >> soft car important. >> i met a guy who went to d.c. and/x played chuck schumner. >> it makes me feel dumb forest
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as goot as sex spa 1. i never saw these pictures. i only watched disfilms with volunteering for sick onlyings. a worter lek oit here. apparently, the daily call reporter has a long standing hobby that involves thin blots and lot of clean neck. krus's campaign ends plil can han't have been hired. well, that's christian. so here's the women who turned her life around if you consider doing campaign ads a step up from porn. which i don't. . @5uátj*q if you're doing essage pornology ra fill now. you're never going to get a second chance in life. you are damaged for good.
nyway, she did far worse. she once started in xv trek voi arranger. and compare what she does to present day crud. have you seen hbo girls? it makes soft core pornology seem like the 700 clov. and really, who dud am mind you of, anyway.xl she saw the light avenue dlifing in kwarkness. once out-of-bounds left of harry reid, he's now a fire breathing right. e's your dad. if we accept that he's imle of i believe he should lie o amy. not withly jougts nvrlt?
after awe he tid forget e. owl wiegs father and mother lowing your pete lt etch. >> we just aren't that forgiving anymore. [ applause ] >> thank you. h. all right. i want to go to the actor first. she was an r. doing a role for ablg cully dock sm her than a low. and i also i's a if he can peck teerk to take as the rooup campaign. i iathink' oeft o. that are a le oil too high and mighty. i don't think that's the right aroach ch flom bade killty thoechlt soft stuff.
sneshlgt. >> i saw those amateur videos you did in the 70s. i sill own another i chl im [ applause ] hey x just to coin leend rnt noent. >> couldble a gloernt well, fk rk kbron nnl noenl. >> i was sincere. >> food nemd. >> if you're the candidate, you noirm. >> this doesn't help, all chillily x kbrr dmoishlt so he's the aficionado nornt.
>> as you like to call it, daddy. top you think you sow do that in hichblt. >> the guy is a soft color american. he is folk toechl noechl. >> the guy is sup a hip corral trat. thaichlt. >> one day you have the glittering envision for homd. >> noemd. >> give me a break, okay? holly wod bead bolt noemt. >> i'm not giving you -- and girls chrks is hlo, the kelt.
>> by you know what wrempl. >> it is mvrnl vrm toe do amateur porn and then hert hemplt. >> you said the earlier, you had slr roerngt. >> like in a wan teenage hooerj. >> e am so sick oov this you believe necessary he toez tnl. >> this is why young pipe don't want the tote fr nnt. >> that he're al dhi lele e thoechl glm yoem nooechl. >> come on, get other et. net a lane isn't shemplt snirmt.
>> you know what neck would have to ener noernl. >> e eve gotten hurt. >> deaf if thely. i like ops. kroiz had to preponderance 2340e78d. >> but, at the same time, that's not a pa noovrpt. >> now you know because you have all the exposure in the world. >> you will get another um um from vif ser sb tine 4i6789d. >> already. trump says he pulled a negative ad idding 40e78g. >> but our investigative team, ie sexuallied it able to that i
>> i believe donald
trurp wans toic en't thonl nd noempblt. >> all right. this was his topicment and he took i oopd i 34i678 >> and he we believe the with it because you hepped choose with him. ? e gloempblt e lo that it's not just about his hair and his flap beth urts nimt >> he's talking about no one else that need the be tell
noecht. >> and ied it. >> i think you have a kind spebs of truch's' eent oond englenld et'm just eaches, hoerkts. >> you called him daddy. and i think this is prophetic because ity sbd eers, hrt hernt and for the right, strurp the daddy po o p hoichl. >>ing loo,any political movement that's other r e e e to hoempbt. >> yovrn why it isn't so bc thx and oaf hoechld. >> and a sleedly roerd shpd.
>> it's the ebber jill and e imagine mace. i smvrnt. >> itrx notices this ae harnt g with will snoerpt. >> do you know bels drd noirmd. >> glernld i think bhrchts flirjt. >> we loef a crowd. and then we start saying thing that is are obama our mind, everyone though it eat o fed noent. >> and that's what,like, toshd p thoerkt. >> dlmt hitment hirnt.
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. she talked about getting the approval oro!p÷ the support or mentoring of henry kissenger. kissenger's actions. >> i know journalists have asked who you do listen to on foreign policy. >> well, it ain't kissinger. >> that's true. the democratic debate was as boring as watching your phone recharge. but, remember, it's the boring stuff that kills you. like socialism that puts you to sleep with its deadliness. sanders sunday sounded light a winger. hillary, dressed like a jar of mustard called him on it. >> the kind of criticism that we heard from senator sanders about
our president i expect from republicans. >> madame secretary, that is a low blow. >> when asked what part of government they would cut, both couldn't bring up anything. it was like asking which limb they would like removed. hillary talked about the poor coal miners. sanders used the phrase segmentment to them, the men in blue are far worse than jihadists dressed in black. and then isis, the best part, sanders actually lost dell gats to hillary, even though he won there's your redistribution of wealth, bernie. that's socialism. all right.
thank you. david. you're cuban, or so you claim. >> yes: still cuban. >> i'm looking at you, you cuban. socialists running for president. this is going to drive you crazy. >> it's almost inconceivable to me, in this country. with the constitution -- the love of a constitution and the fight for democracy. and the many, many glaring examples of the failures of socialism around the world that we would actually, like, encourage this man. and that the young people who are following him. they're ly enamored of his ideas and thoughts. >> i see young sanders supporters, i think they need to be deprogrammed, like in the '70s when you hired somebody to kidnap your kid, not that that didn't happen to me. tucker? the whole argument on socialism
is has it been perfected yet? if we just do it again, it will be better. >> i kind of like sanders for one reason. he blows up the idea of identity politics. you vote for somebody who shares your evil characteristics. being supported by children. i mean, i thought he was going to go after spiro agnew. he wasn't crying. he wasn't crying. and really, it's actually kind of beautiful. there's a universalist quality. anybody can get on board. >> killer mike is supporting bernie sanders. and i think you're right. it was an incredibly powerful act. >> bernie doesn't say anything.b
>> where do you fall on sanders? >> the problem with both of them is that they have so little grasp, really, on any kind of economic reality. yes, he does. but it's a tiny sliver of the population. and actually, i'm just saying. what you discovered is that these voters are quite politically promiscuous. people don't vote for trump or sanders because of anything that they say. >> oil see that they're both kind of same thing. >> yes, i find it disturbing. i hate socialism. but i actually -- obviously.
but i actually find myself liking sanders when i watch these debates just because i'm overwhelming, just hatred for hillary clinton. i had to stop watching when she said i care about criminal justice reform, too. i gave the first speech of my campaign about it. now you're, like, there's too many people in prison. well, yeah, lady, you put them there. / >> it seems counter intuitive, doesn't it? >> yes. >> but the world is full of hi pock ra sills. but i have a great analogy for millenials.
socialism is like my crappy selfie. then you take instagram filter bernie. you put it over the crappy selfie and suddenly, i get a million likes. what i need is photoshop, which is trump. >> there you go. >> that's an impressive met for. we should leave on that note. >> write that down. >> up next, the cut throat va t valentine's debate.
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visit myrbetriq.com to learn more. welcome back to 2016 valentine's day debate. so, in a perfect world, this is how men would react when they hear that it's valentine's day. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause ] but, in reality, this is how men usually react on february 14th. clearly, it is painful for that man.
joanne and catherine, ladies -- [ cheers and applause ] that should help with their poor self esteem. so, the country reportedly spends $2 billion on fl:ujuák 1 pnts 7 on candy and exchanges 1890 million greeting cards written by inmates, i'll have you know, on valentine's day. joanne, i'm going to go to your first. isn't this great for the so called economy? >> yes, economic growth tends to slow in the winter months. so we need this holiday in mid february. and spending money on presents for your loved one, family members, friends. it show that is you not only love them, but you love your country as well, god bless america. [ applause ] >> just curious, kat, how many hours of law and order reruns do you watch alone in your
apartment? >> i've movered onto toddlers and tiaras now. >> all right. excellent. you're a very sad person.dnçw we actually have some questions from viewers. here's gretta from wisconsin. >> the country's marriage rate is an all all-time low. so isn't this holiday crucial to preserving the american family unit? >> kat, a question about units? >> yeah, well, you know what, everyone better just enjoy the bliss now because it's all downhill from there, greg. according to a 2013 study, happily married couples gained more weight over a four-year period. you're going to have a failed marriage or a fault marriage. >> so bitter. >> all right. let's take another viewer question. here's a woem named hegan from new york.
>> i, myself, am a november baby. figure it out. wouldn't you say this benefits our country? children are our future. >> so true./h i've never heard that before, joann, e what do you make of this. >> y e, that was a great question. population growth encourages ek economic growth. so we are just birthing a great labor forest which will be a very good thing, years to come. and, also, conceiving a child in love, you're just setting that baby up for a lifetime of success. >> nope, being conceived out of love is making us weak. we need people to be conceiving babies on strong days like the victory at yorktown anniversary. >> using that logic, you should be conceived on donald trump's birthday. >> yes, here i am. >> yes.
imagine how strong? that would be a winner. that child would never lose. final question from sean. >> a recent poll found that 53% of women would break up with their boyfriend if they don't get a gift on valentine's day. do you feel they've making the right decision? >> yes, as a matter of fact, tell cheapskate to hit the road. >> i love how he answers his own damn question. but i have to disagree with sean. you don't want to be alone. don't break up with them. you'll end up like this. if women want gifts, they can buy them for themselves.
i'm going to go and personallyo buy myself a gift at k jewelers. every kiss begins with k. >> i think it's really impressive that since opening in 1916, they've gone from one store to 900 locations nationwide. >> what is this? what is this? >> every kiss begins with a k. or if you're racist, k, k, k. >> closing statements? >> yes, thank you, greg. in the great words of tina turner what's love got to do, got to do with it. everything. thank you, god bless america. >> i feel like joanne has fallen for a lot of online scams from nigeria. >> oh, no, they're not scams. i'll be getting a check in the next few weeks.
>> look, do what you want, but, remember, sometimes people buy flowers for other people because they feel bad that they're cheating on them. >> is that's something to think about. and that's why i don't give flowers. i want my wife to think i'm totally faithful. think. well, thank you, ladies. i think we've learned very little here. up next, college campus playoffs. black lives matter against trump supporters. but, first, here's what our studio audience will receive tonight. "hi, you've reached emma. ♪ soft, calm music i'm out of the office right now but will get back to you just as soon as i possibly can." join princess cruises for exclusive
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[ applause ] >> attention this entire segment may be offensive to you. so here's your trigger warning. hey. this weekend, rutgers university, which i believe is in new jersey, who knows, a guest on our panel tonight gave a speech. marlow annapolis was invited to speak about how the progressive left is destroying education. while on stage, he suggested any student who requests trigger warnings should be immediately expelled. let's take a look at how the crowd reacts.
to happen? >> everywhere i go becomes a bit of a mini sensation. i think it's my natural humility. and, you know, i tend to bring the internet to life with my audiences. i got the trump supports. a wonderful, discoalition of people. anyway, so, yeah. i was making what i thought was relatively unconscious point. and this is parentally enough for feminists to say this man supports hatred, smear blood all over their faces. yeah, just absolutely crazy. >> so here's the thing, tucker. i believe that what maylo is doing is not a speech. he's actually proving his premise. by simply showing up, he actually ins ci actual actually ins stay gaits the
problem. >> isn't that like culture appropriation for%the american indians? >> and they were doing black power, as well. >> what about the people who can't afford paint. they're at home. >> they sbon tan yously bleed. >> that's my point. >> i mean, really. that's the height of entitlement. to not clean up your mess. >> that is so true. they're like rock stars destroying their hotel rooms. by the way, we put you at the hyatt for a reason. >> i've never been there. >> you wrote your initials on the wall. and that wasn't blood. >> a3hey, when you were in college, did you ever -- i mean, what has happened. you were in college this the '80s, i imagine? >> i was in college at a time when people were actually learning something. that's a long time ago.
it just shows how old i am. but what's happened is that the ejs cay xxs, the people, the professors have, i don't know where they came from. they came from another generation of -- >> they were students. you know what it is, it's like a virus that's just passed down: >> news kids will have no discernibleal ents. >> and they're going to be voters soon: >> what's your take on this? surprised? disappointed? aroused? >> yeah, well, everybody knows that the best way to get people to take you seriously, and your q seriously is to just smear a bunch of fake blood on your face and start screaming. it's very intellectual. i think that's what trump should start doing.
>> see, we learned something there. very little, actually. okay, we learned nothing. up next, we'll talk about twitter's new safety council that cracks down on so called new harmful speech. and woods sues over tweets who called him a cocaine addict. will twitter be forced to reveal the identity of that user? and is it joanne. that's next. and stool softeners for comfortable relief of hard stools. dulcolax, designed for dependable relief
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the x1 voice remote is here. x1 customers get your voice remote by visiting xfinty.com/voiceremote. they're wheeling and dealing to prevent her feelings. this week, twitter announced the trusted safety council with real safe expressing themselves. [expletive]. the councils comprised of 40 organizations including something called the dangerous speech project, which sounds like the name of my phish tribute band. critics argued could be used to squash certain political viewpoints. and another twitter free speech
news actor and my pilates partner, james woods, stepped closer to a twitteryú& user who called him a coke head, woods sued him for defamation. he tried to get the 10 milli$10 suit dismissed and everyone celebrated with an 8 bam. what's happening? >> everybody knows nobody uses cocaine anymore. so the suit has got to be trash. >>. >> i've seen scar face and i can tell you, it's been about 35 years. >> the other thing, about jimmy. i can call him jim hi because i know him. he's a very big, brainy guy. and he's very courageous. and he says things that people don't like to hear. so it makes sense that someone would maybe overhear him and
accuse him of doing some drug. >> that's just because he's smart. >> no, it's because he's conservative and everyone thinks tucker, thoughts? >> should it be anonymous? >> i'm all for privacy. but what really strikes me is the assault on free speech on the left. rules were flaky and they're in macro biotic food. they really did kind of support your right to say something. now they don't. that's where the conversation ends. you can't have a conversation with someone who doesn't acknowledge your right to have a view. that becomes fascism. all the other crap aside, that is the core of it. >> the worst thing a leftist was guilty of, that didn't work. >> right. and it did work.
>> milo, what do you make of the statement? i think it's directed at you? >> and you know how i know this? the crazy woman from feminist frequency. this far left, whack kill video. never been on there. unverified with the wrong opinions on twitter. they took my checkbook away. can you believe that? it's like getting a business class ticket and you get on the plane and they tell you to turn right. i felt disz gusting for week tsds. >> what was it like in the unverified section? >> it was awful. >> it's like a cattle car. >> you're absolutely right. they started to get ied logical stops on the leftmented and then you've got face wobook teaming with merkel and germany.
and facebook says, you know, you just tell us and within 24 hours, we'll take it off the network. >> twitter is a business. so their stock is down. they've lost 2 million useer us recently. so what do you co? you look at the kplants and then you try to piece those people who are complaining and try to get more people to come in. so twitter is not some model of morality. they are a business. this is their solution to their problem. >> my problem with twitter is i'm only on it when i'm drupg. and then at the end of the day, i wake up and go what in god's name have i done. and then when i get to work i get there and there's an e-mail that says we teed to talk to you about something. >> i guess that you get a haszed all of the time on twitter but i also guess you deserve it. >> it doesn't bother me. some people say love comes from
within. my self hate comes from within. it has nothing to do with those people. and if the people can't handle being on twitter, don't be on twitter. go play acoustic guitar and cry into your tee or get off of it. it's not that big of a deal. it's fine. it's, like, all right, whatever, your profile avatar is of a dog. >> don't go anywhere. the return to greg is next. it's going to be pure magic. maybe. so i went onto ancestry, soon learned that one of our ancestors was eastern european. this is my ancestor who i didn't know about.
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he asks fnc, who would they get to play greg's character. question. i would obviously like to play myself because who can do a better job than me. if i was not present, i would want to have this fella. the dobbs. ld. as i like to call him. when the lights go out. >> next one is from santa fe, new mexico. he writes when i asked for a supersalad at a restaurant, i'm not sure which one to choose. >> your problem is that you wrote in to a tv show for an answer to this stupid question. who do you write to for medical advice? out numbered? none of them are actors. >> all right. quick program note. we're back next weekend on sunday at 10:00 p.m. eastern time. love saying that.
joanne, kat rin and a special thanks to the very tall models. for stopping by and giving your audience gift backs. i'm greg gutfeld. and i love you, america, in a good way. tice antonin scalia and the fierce political battle to replace him. i plan to fulfill my constitutional responsibilities to nominate a successor in due time. >> and gop candidates respond to scalia's death as they duke it out in the bare knuckle fight for south carolina. >> we're not going to give up the u.s. supreme court for a generation by allowing barack obama to make one more liberal appointee. >> i really wish the president would think about not nominating somebody. >> after marco rubio's damaging debate performance last week -- >> this notion that barack obama doesn't know what he's doing is just not true. >> there it is.