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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  March 18, 2017 7:00pm-8:01pm PDT

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greg: was that a bad idea? >> it's such a bad idea. greg: you can always sense a stunt is about to go wrong. it's like when a singer is out of tune, the rest of the band has to play louder. now she claims it's the viewer's fault. this after acting like she discovered big foot's pe nirks s inside the lockness monster. rachael got a huge number. we may be on the virg -- the vef war with north korea.
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we trolled us for money. she is more a capitalist than lou dobbs. remember when president obama used to drive right wingers crazy? >> this is the way i see it. i feel like president trump is saying, you know what? i got $3.5 trillion budget we are doing. what else could i possibly do to the american people. president obama, why don't you just set us on fire. greg: those were great times. rachael maddow waves her arms and legs and freak out like her butt is on fire. the people who hate him don't like you or me much either.
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you have got to wonder why is it so hard for the left to lose? is it the consequences of delayed adulthood? a political defeat has turned adults into a kri nice with security. take the travel ban. you can water that down so onlye band and they would still scream islamophobia. we see the five stages of crazy. one superior and calm. >> russia, russia, russia, everything trump touches turns into another story about trump and russia. >> i am a nasty woman. i'm not as nasty as a man who looks like he bathes in chi
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chee-tos dust. >> b.s.! b.s.! b.s.! no we won't. we have seen what you have done, sir! greg: glad she brought the sign. but then finally there is acceptance. join us. we are having a good time. we are living in a parallel universe where one-half finds fear in the other half's fun. which side would you rather be on?
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>> let us introduce tonight's guest. i'm sow excited. he's so cool. he's sow cool. the fonz has a poster of him on his wall it's lou dobbs, host of "lou dobbs tonight." like a times square bill beard's always lit. he gets iron in his diet by eating iron. retired master sergeant terry stafford. andandkat timf.
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green * huge demo, great numbers. how many times can you do that? lou: i was wondering that very thing. i was wondering why which couldn't have that. to see stephen colbert go you have a. the left turned on her so quickly, i was astonished they showed such a desire to cannibalize their own. and at the same time i was sure they had done the right thing. gregg require was so much fun. i like the word unfettered. what was your take on your event of the week? >> i think that -- we don't like degree duped or lured into the champagne room only to be
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swindled, and we don't like being duped by a highly calf night cpr dummy. she is so wound up. and the product doesn't deliver. greg: no, it didn't. i have been duped in the champagne room. hey, terry. the great thing about this is i don't think there is going to be -- i'm happy for geraldo. now he's free from the vault. there was never annal today -- s never an al capone vault. >> i don't think you like being unfettered. sometimes someone just likes to
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watch the world burn. i had such a good time watching these guys melt it was awesome on election night. when trump was winning you could see that. it will continue like this. i wish donald trump would be little more difficult to attack. he could make himself a little less. we think the same way. >> i was born a small target. i would have been great if i chose to fight. because i'm a conscientious coward. >> i think you are hard on yourself. i disagree. greg: all right, kat. i feel like this is a mirror reversal of the effect obama had on some people. it kinds of happens. >> you mean barack hussein
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obama? greg: obama made beck. could trump be making rachael? >> maybe. two pages from 2005? that's like the part where you write name. his name is donald trump. that would be like if people were threatening to hack my phones and we are going to post pictures of kat she didn't want us to see and it's pictures of my food. but she is still stroking it. what else is there. is she eating it in russia? why wouldn't she post it. she is not giving you have. even though everyone is telling her come on, lady. greg: they need a tax return intervention. and she gets on a plane and flies malibu. they always fly to malibu and sit there for a week. you need to let go of the tax
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returns. >> keith own o berks -- if keith oberman would be a great party guest. greg: the contrast between the benign good news and the fervor, if america declared mayor car and caliphate msnbc would call him an is lom -- an islamaphobe. >> imagine where you and adult sized babies can feel relevant. ultimate luxury getaway in self-victimization. now you can with cruise to nutville. listen to katy perry on how to
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read stuff. stuff. madonna on coping with senility. michael moore and lena dunham, and and ashley judd. and how to yell at cops. together you will intimately discuss how the president has made you so object saysed with trivial things you forgetted the issues that really matter and embarrass yourselves in front your peers. the cruise to nutsville will be the best the. call 555-nuts for your cruise to nutsville today.
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>> snoop took a pooper and then bowwow licked it all up. rapper snoop dogg released a video this week depicting donald trump, after an innocent man is gunned down in it video snoop gets revenge by pointing a toy gun and pulling the trigger is genius. he responded on twitter. he said can you imagine what the outcry would be if snoop dogg's failing career and all fire the gun at president obama? gel time. it sounds kind of familiar. even if you bring up the corollary people will be upset. how about doing that. where's the liberal outrage when it comes to civility. you're welcome mr. president. anyway, that tweet for mr. trump led rapper, who? [laughter]
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he tweeted this attack on the first lady. a low, real donald trump shut your -- about my uncle snoop dogg. before we pimp your wife and make her work for us. that deserves a blue, audience brewers. stop with the booing. later, he deleted the tweets. at least bowwow, also known as little loser trended on twitter and he did not even have to die. not that anyone would notice of course. you know a lot about this arena. what is your take on this new, bowwow controversy? >> i have given this a lot of thought. great, i have lost interest in snoop after the dog a father
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although i enjoyed his work with dr. dre. after that, to be honest i drifted into a very heavy phase, i entered and truly lost myself, 36 chambers. for the reference, i have -- on my ankle. [applause] >> greg: i think the show is over. and in the morning we are going to go home and i don't even want to ask you another question. >> i do not have many answers. so this works out. >> greg: lauren, i don't like exercising outrage muscles. i know it will come back and hurt me. i will end up saying something stupid. the only reason this bugs me and apparently doesn't bug anyone on the other side, the corollary if
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you had said that about michelle obama you would lose your job. i guess he doesn't have a job to lose. >> will come i think this is a free speech issue. if you put donald trump in one of his videos than that is his message as an artist. i'm fine with that. if you're looking to snoop dogg or little bowwow as your moral compass, this is a man whose greatest hit included telling women to -- scrotum. that's where i don't understand outrage. these are wrappers. >> greg: what you expect? that is an interesting point. i think i've heard enough from you. i am done with you. cat, they benefited from lower expectations. a rapper can say whatever he
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wants because they're just wrappers, isn't that insulting to the average rapper? why is and he wrapping about nice things? >> snoop has been appearing a lot with martha stewart. so maybe you need to read badass things from cell. how do we even know that was donald trump. that could've been anyone. >> again it's a free speech issue and doesn't really bother me i guess the little bow wow thing is atrocious. the jury is out on whether or not you should pimp women. whether that is a good thing. he deleted the tweet like oh, my bad, like. >> greg: he is not a bow wow, he is a meow, meow. his latest tweet he said he is okay because he is with god and
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he went to the movies. [laughter] >> if you are a man and your name starts with a net al, ' il, you're in trouble. you can go with ever little bit, it's just not going to work. >> it would be funny by is large and it was a little break. with all the crap that we see in it is pretty considerable, we have to be careful on the right that we do not do that, that whiplash, read jerk. what trump should do, so turning into paul lind there. my point is, trumpet to make himself a smaller target should do something like instead of tweeting your career socks, he should just say hey man, i thought you were great in the old school. that's it. that would actually be mocking snoop dogg. because that would've been the last movie he was in.
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just say something smart like love you in black. >> greg: if all else fails quote the dogs. >> i am still trying to figure out. >> greg: by the way, only a few people see it. >> i am still trying to figure out the coincidence on the number of times you are going to need the plural for scrotum. >> greg: you never know. you need it today. i asked bow wow to come on the show and he did not respond. so, there you go. he is busy crying. up next a source so powerful it could dead lift your entire family. how do we pay for the border wall? and can we reverse mortgages? when we return.
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>> a state of emergency across much of peru people have been killed because of widespread flooding and mudslides. more than 800 cities declaring
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-- lima has been without services of the start of the week. secretary of state, rex tillerson wrapping up his trip to asia. he met with china's leaders pushing for closer cooperation in dealing with north korea's nuclear program. they're arranging a meeting next month between president trump and the chinese president. sadly, rock 'n roll icon, chuck berry has died. his first hit came in 1955, launching a career spanning nearly seven decades, including the hits johnny be good, and sweet little 16. mary was 90. i met marianne, now back to the greg gutfeld show. for your latest headlines go to >> greg: so, where's waldo? the money to pay for the big beautiful wall president trump promised us. he said he has hundreds of bidders. everyone wants to bill build our
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wall. >> we have hundreds of bidders, everyone wants to build our wall usually that means we are going to get a good price. we are going to build a wall. >> greg: the budget plan to set aside for billion dollars over the next two years for the wall. how do we come up with that kind of money? here's what i would do. i would get every girl scout in america to sell cookies year-round. four bucks a box, that's a billion boxes of cookies to pay for the wall. we reduce the risk of criminals and terrorists entering the country well enjoy delicious cookies and the scouts would earn a badge. everybody wins, including me. [applause] will come i think you should pay for. you have a stack of money under the couch. >> i believe in full citizenship participation in projects like
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this. when we do send the bill to mexico, we'll have an endless loop of fox telling precisely what we can do with our wall. i would be honored to contribute >> greg: how do you think it will be paid for? >> i think it's going to be paid for the old-fashioned way. taxpayers and lots of debt. we are not in a position yet to overcome that. i do think the president is absolutely correct. eventually he is going to get recompense from the mexican government in one form or another. >> greg: terry, what you think? do you think the wall is a mirage, or where there is a will there is no wall? >> if you build it you will keep them out. >> greg: if you build it they won't come. [applause] >> if there is a will there is a way.
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it is going to get done. it will get on. i think it is a matter of priorities. this big-budget thinking about cutting this or that, i'm a mill former military guy. i would be happy to see if part of the military budget cut per there's a lot of ways, and crap in the pentagon. that's a swamp too. if you are smart, it's doable. it is not going to get done in a day. it is going to take a while. overall, in the long term it will shift things in this not only an economy but society. >> greg: cat, what are your thoughts on the wall? >> i don't really like the wall. i don't want to go into more debt. i understand why this is his thing. he probably really misses building stuff. he loved a building stuff. if i were the president i might miss sitting on the couch and talking. i might say what we really need on the southern border is a long , curvy couch.
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i can sit there. >> greg: and your speech would be great. right now we are outnumbered by aliens. >> he's probably thinking what do i know how to do? i can build, i know, a wall. >> think about it. a year ago everybody thought this was a joke. now, it is part of america first budget, the first billion and a half. it is being designed and built. >> but that was not the promise that we voted for him on. mexico is supposed to pay for the wall. >> that is true. >> by the way, mexico owes me so much. >> explain. >> mexico is still informing most notably my dignity and self-respect south of the border and spring break. >> you never feel more american
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waking up pants down in a stall. >> it's always senior drama and then crying on the beach at night. >> in the back of a police car. >> and trying to get the sand out. it could take weeks. >> i don't know why there's not more outrage and their and black-and-white in his budget were paying for. i'm [inaudible] board with a wall of its coming out of our taxpayer money. >> greg: i agree with it. what if they could sell the bricks. now there has never been a better time to invest in a wall. these are my bricks. buy one, get five. >> you have it down.
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>> greg: coming up, story so amazing you would think it was about me. first military drills in south korea. are we about to go to war? if so, mi tool to be drafted? if you have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis isn't it time to let the real you shine through? introducing otezla, apremilast. otezla is not an injection, or a cream. it's a pill that treats plaque psoriasis differently. some people who took otezla saw 75% clearer skin after 4 months. and otezla's prescribing information has no requirement for routine lab monitoring. don't take otezla if you are allergic
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[dad] hey buddy [son] hey dad [wife] i think we can do this. [dad] really? [chancellor] adam baily. [chancellor] adam baily.
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>> little kim is looking grim. currently the u.s. is performing military drills off the coast of south korea. it's not making north korea's leader very happy. the teensy tyrant has promised merciless attacks against the u.s. as retaliation. please, you think that scares me , i have a president who tweets. he said north korea is behaving very badly. they have been playing the united states for years. china has done little to help. and that was a nice response. trump is playing good cop. do you know who is playing good backup? big rex tillerson. >> let me be very clear. the policy of strategic patience has ended. we are exploring a new range of diplomatic, security, and economic measures.
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all options are on the table. >> greg: the table. north korea has conducted two missile tests in washington think they can soon develop a nuclear tip nestle missile that could reach the united states, not for vacation purposes. all potential wars upon us, do people care? there more important things to focus on. for example, that pregnant draft that has been in labor since 1976. prince william being a terrible dancer, look at him go. stuck in that egg forever. in the matrix reboot which i hope is all women because that's the thing. and of course, this. okay how do you feel about the
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threats from north korea, is this a new story or old story? >> every time you see something from north korea's substitute for china because that's who's doing it. remember north korea is china's pitbull. china owns them. so then i going to do anything without china's blessing. north korea's nutty as he is he is owned by china. this is a great thing. because what's happening now is china stepping in san we have to step between this because were preventing north korea and we have to rain in japan and the u.s. you have to let china know, and this is a good thing. by watching china use north korea as a proxy on the chain, were finding out that we are getting to china. were actually reinforcing our ties with japan. with the philippines, and south korea, these traditional places with democracies and we have been allies. we have walked away from that from a long time. it is good to see north korea do that. north korea will not do anything
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without china's blessing. [applause] >> greg: i assume it was well said. cat, the problem i think is when threats have a comical nature to them, like the fact that the north korea punchline and artificial intelligence is fictionally more exciting than it should be. so entertainment make something less dangerously seeming that it is, i don't think that is right. >> i don't either. i do like sending outlook a great were question it and we could crush you, missile thing. it's like if you're fighting with a boyfriend any post pictures of you and your friends looking really good, i feel like i'm not going to do it yet, not to find someone else yet, but look at me, i could. behave yourself. sure enough strength is very effective. i'm glad were doing it. >> greg: lauren, should be we be
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worried about a war with north korea? >> there's saying this is an exercise, and they call a trilateral missile warning information exercise. >> the people who exercise in public are trying to prove something. >> greg: that's true. >> i think that title is military speak for catch me outside. >> greg: are you mad that girl stole your mo? i wonder if anybody really knows where that woman is headed? lou, why send us a bigger story? >> i think a lot of news people are scared of the story. once a month is the nuclear option is on the table, a lot of people start withdrawing and getting very introspective. in particular the left-wing national media. rex tillerson, i think has some
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sort of voice test to become secretary of state. when he says, strategic patience is at an end, you know a lot of bad things are going to flow from that. >> it does sound serious. >> whoever thought strategic patience can be so sinister. >> greg: is like a sheriff and a western from the 50s. >> it's new, and you're done. >> greg: it seems weird that we have the prehistoric pockets on a small planet. if the earth was more -- you have this bustling city but half a mile east there's a clan of cavemen. it's strange. >> the people of north korea are starving, they are dying from lack of food. you really worried about war with them? no. trust me, i'm a guy who been in that world my whole life. i don't take that stuff lightly. >> it's good to be at least a little worried about war. the people know that they have
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to nutty dictator. >> greg: be careful with the word nutty. >> i know, you're allergic. >> greg: , story that's mind blowing. we lay down some spark in case your eyes blowout. chicken grown -- it's exciting. please shoot me. feeling dead on your feet? i've been on my feet all day. dr. scholl's massaging gel insoles have a unique gel wave design for outrageous comfort that helps you feel more energized. dr. scholl's. feel the energy! experience exciting offers on sales event is here. our most elevated suvs ever. get up to $2,500 customer cash on select 2017 models for these terms. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. but shouldn't it be about firsts?d in zeros. and seconds... how about adding a third?
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>> greg: they want to make a buck on a bird that never clocked. the california food tech company developed what they say is the first chicken strip grown in a lab a. scientists say their product is a bit punchier than the real thing, but otherwise stays the same. the goal is to change the meat industry by lowering the cost of grain and waste disposal and caring for livestock. they hope to launch the product in 2021, when i turn 40. will this egg was wonder be finger licking good? or anger picking wood. let's just let that joke pass. they think americans will continue to seek out farm raised
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meats. we went to a chicken expert for comment. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: i have a theory that there has to be some kind of law in what you eat to enjoy your me it must have been a lie first. >> you're right. i would say to that it would've been the normal way of thing but society is changed the people don't have a relationship with the animal they. as i said before the guy said your carnivore and they said no you're not you bought a steak at fairway. >> i don't think you should have a relationship with the animal. >> greg: you know what i mean. that's not racist. >> that train has sailed if you
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will. you know what i did there. i got a million of them. when people buy the chicken, they just see cutlets, they don't see the bird that had its head cut off. unless you killed an animal. >> all i think about is beheadings every time i mean chicken. i don't know about you. >> is she being sassy with me? >> greg: lou, i have looked at this closely, we humans do not eat anything that was not a lie first. i cannot think of a single thing >> are you kidding me? have you not eaten at subway? buns out of yoga mats and come i don't make this up. >> the wrong side of subway. >> greg: like even veggies. >> what we are setting the stage for is a whole new level.
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you're talking about outrage earlier, if we start looking at this lab grown stuff this from a floor of phobia, will have that descend on this before we realize it. the idea that this is not a life , then how is it growing? >> greg: from a cell, not an egg technically it is alive. you should be able to grow new lives. >> what about candy? sugar is alive. >> greg: sugarcane,. >> what about artificial sweeteners. >> it has artificial sweeteners. >> spam, isn't it made in a factory. >> greg: yes but it was still once alive. it's like eating display food from the refrigerators in the big box stores.
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have you ever done that? >> what i want to know is how is it spongy or but the same? i cannot think of anything in the world that if it spongy or it would be the same. >> greg: it has to be with the marketing department. right now cost $9000 to produce 1 pound of the lab chicken. >> all my gosh. >> no one is buying that. >> greg: but once you buy more that the price comes down. maybe the richer vegan hipsters will get into that. >> how do we define be in of vegetarian or vegan? it's not a willful animal that you killed but when circuiting into that cool, interesting your building organs and stuff. >> greg: and to your point you said earlier if it's grown in the lab, technet technically is ipc holiday if you enter the
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relationship. >> that's exactly what you meant you meant that. you meant that. own it, be a trailblazer. they are going to remember you 20 years from now as a man who predicted animal chicken love. >> i am outraged. >> greg: as long as it is not organic. i'm next a brand-new product that will blow you away. don't go anywhere. free yourself with clarispray, from the makers of claritin.
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>> what if everybody was microwaving this? so if you want a direct line to the governme your own home get a spycrowave 500 today. >> greg: thank you lou, lauren, cat in our studio audience. i am a greg gutfeld and i love you america. >> waters world is on tonight. the income tax break what are we talking about question what thee biggest tax cut sense regular probably bigger. >> to think president obama wants you to succeed? >> he has been to very nice to me but his people have not been nice. >> if you had fire whimpers right now who would you fire? t >> our exclusive sitdown presidential to me jesse: "watters world" will never be the say as we take to the sky with the commander-in-chief. it's hard to remember when you are up to hour arm


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