>> you start interrupting me. >> that's it for the five. thanks a lot. have a great night. welcome to "red eye." i'm andy levy or as i am known in the french quarter, greg gutfeld. tom, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> thanks, andy. coming up on tonight's show, it is a bird, it is a plane, it is a community organizer with super powers. no, not that community organizer. can dc comics bring down wall street in the way the occupy movement couldn't? maybe. and young people are america's most stressed out generation. do they have any reason to be? obviously not. hopefully our panel will demean them coming up. and cats kill. billions of cute, furry, feathery creatures are killed by unfeeling housecats. a bill schulz segment so
shacking andy -- so shocking andy levy refused to tease it, but i am teasing it and teasing it good. >> we will edit that out entirely. thanks for the effort. let's welcome our guests. i am here with author, columnist and contributor jedediah bila. it is tv personality and best selling author greg gutfeld. what is he doing here? his latest book is called "joy of hate." bill schulz, i am so, so sorry, america. and next to me, tucker carlson, fox news contributor and chief of "the daily caller" and he is headed to hell for the lies he tells. get it over with, pinch. >> it was announced earlier this week that the paper of record is planning on testing in addition that would target college students which sounds pretty ripin rad if you ask me, nephews. you are a part of this key demo. >> indubidably.
that's the news to niznit to priznit, truth. >> a block. >> the lede. that's the first story. >> not for a month, right? that's what we agreed on? >> yes. >> what are we talking about exactly? >> i don't know. >> they are adding color to occupy's complaints. dc comics has announced two brand-new titles that will deal with both sides of the occupy wall street struggle. i know what you are thinking. it is about damn time. the movement is about, quote, power. who owns it, who uses it and suffers from its abuse. she adds, it is more about the injustices that can affect real people's lives, just in costumes and super powers. sort of like greg gutfeld's apartment. it is like wealth buying super powers in a world of heros. and this super power hero is not taking his medicine.
>> everyone laughs, but the dog died from not taking his medicine. >> that's terrible. >> lesson for you kids, take your medicine. tucker, these comics don't come out until may, so none of us have read them. this is cable news so go ahead and trash them. >> it willen fiewr yait people because kids are being subjected to political propaganda. but no kid will ever see this because they don't read comic books. middle aged sell law bet men do. they will be corrupted by the nonsense. the writer of "the movement" says, quote, we are not trying to preach plat tudes at people. can't ask more than that. >> and they are not going to be unbiased. this will demonize the rich and occupy the greatest. we have seen these themes come
through sometimes. we saw a lot of political trends coming through when 9/11 happened. i just feel like there is no area that is sacred and removed from politics. politics have to penetrate everything we do? >> yes, it does. next question. >> that's all i got, andy. >> greg, the green team. >> yes. >> i am just happy that i assumed it was about environmentalist. it is not. it is about rich people. >> they call this cutting edge. this is cutting edge, reflecting the assumptions of fellow editors who feel guilty about the money they make. these are the people that poison everything. anything that is interesting or fun they have to poison it with their political beliefs. they should create a super villain that bores you to death and calls you the editor. >> weren't you an editor? >> yes, i was. and i am speaking as a guilty party. no, i never did thig this stupid. -- i never did anything this stupid. did the idea that cool trumps
character is now infecting every arena. >> let me say every decent american hates editors. anyone that is a writer hates editors. ii am an editor too. i often tell my reporters that you should hate me. >> they want the ago caw laids of feeling -- accolades of feeling important instead of doing their job. >> we have a lot of editors and they -- a lot of them and they say they hate you. >> it is your job to despise your editor. >> the analogy that you tried to kill them with anvils, is that something that normal editors do? >> you know the acme ones never work. >> will we see a movie based on movement before we ever get a justice league movie? >> it will never happen, thank god. what was bruce wayne if not a crusading man. having said that the tag line
is and i quote, they wrote it and i didn't, money can buy them happiness, and they want to share with you. it doesn't sound like they are really add -- adhering to capitalism. it is boring and i don't think it has any room for the solitude. even though the martian manhunter is stupid. >> which means you are stupid. >> he is martian and a manhunter. >> oh a marcia manhunter? >> marcia was a manhunter on the brady bunch. >> different comic book. >> if they were being honest, there should be a super hero that is an occupy wall street protestor, and he should have powers where like spider-man instead of -- he flings feces and he blinds you or sprays you with urine. that's a homeless guy. >> and he marinates in his own fillet. that's it. >> i read an interview with
gail simone, and she has written some good comic books in the past. from the way she describes it, it sounds less based on occupy wall street and more based on something like anonymous. she is talking about her theme is that information has become power. and these heros are going to be wrapped up in that. >> i think the problem is all of these unhappy rich kid movements blend into one after awhile. is it occupy wall street? is it the hacky sack circle? is it anonymous? who knows? >> they are not called that because they play hacky sack all the time. >> i was just checking. >> all right. anyone else have thig to say about the comic books? >> i think it is dumb they are focusing on occupy. the only thing that care about occupy are academics and people who are in the occupy movement. everyone else acknowledges that the movement is dead. >> they camped out from across the office and destroyed the lawn at the 15th street park. >> but they are not doing
anything. >> bring back richie risk. you remember richie risk? the little rich kid. >> richy chich. >> you sound like you did three shows already. >> richie rich. they should have occupy wall street kidnap him. >> and do what? >> i don't know. i didn't think it through. >> knowing you probably foul, disgusting things. >> or cool things, awesome things like flying them around the world saying you are an okay guy. >> that's what they stand for. from ows to stress. apparently they are generation fret. they are the most frazzelled americans reporting higher stress levels than their parents and grand parents' generations. more of them said their stress level had risen in the last year and over half said stress kept them up at night. oh shut up. the head of the american psychological association that produced the report noted most of these young people have
come out of college or grad school with horrendous student debt and into a job market where there are not many jobs. for more let's go live to red eye's youth and education reporter. that's ambassador meow-ton. >> i thought that was rip taylor. >> that's good. >> is rip taylor still alive? >> i don't know. >> if he is still alive and has not been on "red eye" he is letting america down. >> if he is, rip, rip taylor. >> he is probably alive. tucker, the survey points out what is the obvious reason for the stress is the job market we are in right now coupled with things like they don't believe social security
is around for that. yet who did they vote for? >> barack obama. >> they vote for deem centers for disease control. should -- should we feel bad for them? i want to know. >> is it a life of video games and it is a lot tougher than it looks. >> i can vouch. everything you have said i can vouch for. >> i am just saying, they have no one to take care of. maybe that is the problem. when you do have dependence, there is a purpose in life. why am i on earth? i am here to pay tuition. >> to be fair you never did. >> i didn't want to say that. >> is it possible that this gets to something tucker was getting at, they are less equiped to has been -- to handle stress because they have been coddled. you discover you don't get a
trophy when it comes to participation as far as life. >> we are a bunch of wooses. i am out of this bracket by one year. i am 34. when we were hit with anxiety people throw xanax at all or some kind of pill. >> they do? >> i want to be young. >> in the schools they do that. >> i want to go back to school. >> anxiety ridden it is take this and take that, never learn how to cope. do i think we are bigger wooses than my grandparents? absolutely, 100%. >> very few of the millenials will host a late night gab fest. what are they stressed about? >> i don't know. but this is the tradeoff, the price tag for being cool. if you are young you are cool, and you should be stressed out. i am less stressed, but i am old and weird and i smell. >> do you have the old guy smell? >> i have issues that basically make me cool. when you are young you are like good looking and picking
up chicks or men depending on what you are into or both if you are into other things. >> i just have to point out that you are a ball of stress. you do nothing but stress all day long. >> the reason i stress is because i prepare for everything. therefore i have been fairly successful. but are you right. i am a mess. there is nothing i can do about it, and it is going to get worse. >> to be successful you have to have a disorder. >> woody allen syndrome. >> have i so many physical ailments that are the product of my brain, but there is nothing i can do. >> i bite my nails a lot. i have some stomach problems. every now and then i pull hail out of my head. >> i knew somebody who used to pull their eyelashes out when they were stressed out. >> not good. >> why is that not good? >> i don't know. it sounds not good. >> try it and let us know.
>> eventually you run out. >> what about eyebrows? >> and then you move on to your eyes. >> my eyelashes have been compared to butterfly wings, so that makes me sick. they are gorgeous. do a close up. >> that leads to my next question. according to the survey, millenials are the more stressed generation, but according to what i typed on my paper, they are also the sexiest. how do you reconcile those two obviously true things? >> considering what you like on your facebook page, you do like that generation. it is funny i brought up facebook, andrew. i think that is the real problem. it is not the job market. it is not their social circles although one begets the other. they have to be pressured on whether or not they have to like a baby picture even though babies are stupid. or how many followers do i have, or what if everyone says something bad about a picture i post? why did twitter tell me to follow somebody racist?
these are the things going around in their head all day. we didn't have to deal with that. all of society's pressures are amplified on the worldwide web. it is a web of evil. >> we are all on the worldwide web. >> not really. >> it is stressful. >> you know what it is? it adds a group of people that can say things to you directly that you actually pay more attention to than the people you know. >> and love. >> and love. >> the other thing i learned about the web is you stress less about whether or not the nay caw selfie will go viral than taking the selfie. i learned that the hard way. >> it is all about tough love for you. >> absolutely, absolutely. here is the thing. isn't it possible that millenials are not more stressed? they grew up in a world -- in their world are you supposed to tell everyone your feelings. the greatest generation was probably stressed as hell, but do you think they would have
answered a survey? they would have said get the hell out of here jie. and there are more people taking surveys and researchers that need to justify their pell grants. not just their pell grants, but grants in general. everybody is doing these surveys. you are right. >> obviously watching your friends get machine guns is not as stressful as getting your mather thesis. it does make people stressed out. you are putting off the theftable -- inevitable which is your entry into the workforce. when you are on your master's degree yes you are stressed out. >> and they are all so baby. they are on their parents' health insurance. 26 years old. >> tom will be checking. >> they are still wonderful people. they are gorgeous. >> i said that. >> and they watch "red eye."
>> pretty much killed this whole segment. >> the only issue i have with this generation is that not though of them -- not enough of them call me. >> you are now at the edge. you can no longer sleep with these people, bill. >> yes, i can. yes, i can. >> hold, on, hold on, how old are the millenials? >> that's my question. are you saying he can't because they won't sleep with him or because it is weird? >> he starts looking weird. >> weird has never been a barometer for me. it will never be known as one. >> jedediah, please expand on your point. >> when i was 19 my first boyfriend was 33 years old. i think it is perfectly normal. >> hello to you. >> and do you still keep in touch with john gibson? >> during visiting hours.
coming up, i fought the law and the law won. it is not a story, just something steve texted me last night when he needed bail money -- again. who is the most popular politician in america? hint, it is not who you think it is unless you guessed right, and then it is. you are watching "red eye" on fnc so stick around.
turn the potential negative into a positive. he was attacking a former white house doctor who said his large frame could be life-threatening if he was president. and they said it would be different if christie was a woman and that his ability to joke about it would make him a folk hero. he points to the wisconsin local news anchor who became a celebrity after she responded on air to a viewer calling her fat. what does backpack cat think? >> we need to see that in slow motion. >> not sure what happened there. >> me either. but i will be watching that at 3:00 a.m. after some medication jie. and 5:00 a.m. >> jedediah, it is a good p so int. would we make so many jokes about chris christie's weight if he was a girl? >> no. if we mentioned anything about janet napolitano or hillary clinton's weight you would be called sexist.
i think it is because women are so highly scrutinized this media. i get e-mails after shows and it is almost never about what i have said. it is about what i was wearing or my hair or make up. i think we are hyper sensitive to that. we get hyper sensitive because it shouldn't be different. if you are going to say it about christie you should say it about a female in the same position. >> greg, as somebody who occasionally makes jokes is there a double standard? >> i agree with everything this hot chick said. it is sexist if you change your approach. i notice when you are dealing leftists who come after "red eye" and you watch them make horrible jokes, but you are blind to what they are doing, i don't have a problem with christie's weight. i would rather have a fat capitalist than a skinny socialist from kenya. >> and those are our only two choices.
>> and straw man. >> tucker, what thank you make of christie's response of the white house doctor. you had bill chris stall saying it may be his thin skin. >> if you eat a donut on letterman you can't get mad for people mocking you as fat. doctors shouldn't diagnose people they mefer met. and there was this past week a coach fired from an alabama high school for pointing out that mr. obama has a big butt. he was canned for that. i would like to live in a world where you can make observations and joke about people and not get fired. >> as far as the doctor thing goes, christie seems to take the jokes about his weight pretty well. he makes them himself. a doctor was making a medical diagnosis without knowing him. >> you are a physician, you
have taken this out. don't degrade it by talking about it. >> the doctor was basically saying that this guy was a huge health risk even a couple years going into the white house. you know what he used? the thing tbifn to him called his eyes. >> i am not defending obesity. i fight against it every day. there was a study that showed that people who were overweight lived longer than people who were thin. >> overweight i will grant you. i think christie may be in another category. >> you can have somebody that is really skinny and live a horrible lifestyle. maybe they smoke or eat garbage. >> close up on bill, please. >> you can have this, and this might be much more hazardous than christie's weight.
>> we should come up with one instead. >> looking at any major rock star. looks like an elderly woman. look at mick jagger. >> nick is down to 85 pounds. >> being fat is helpful because if you fall you don't break bones. >> cushions. >> we have exhausted this topic. >> i want to keep going. >> have a comment on the show e-mail us at fox news.com. do you have that video of your animal doing something? go to fox news.com/red eye and we might use it. the half time report from tom shillou. >> tonight is sponsored by commuters. those who travel regularly between places especially between home and work. thanks, commuters.
we are back. let's find out if we gotten anything wrong so far. we go to thomas jane shillou. >> it interesting. >> it is your name, not mine. >> andy, were you talking about the justice league movie. you must know this because you are probably combing the internet on all of these websites. i was looking at a website called bad ass digest. the justice league movie, they have thrown out the latest
script. but the word on the street is that the studio is looking to see how "man of steal" does before they invest in a new script. >> they say if it tanks they may thought do a movie or just tank it. >> it is about michael steal. i don't see how that will rate. >> that would be something. dc comics, tucker, you said that kids don't read comics. middle aged celebate main do. the definition of celebate is abstaining from sex. >> yes. involuntarily. >> is part of the definition qualifies from abstaining if they are unable to procure sex on their own. >> no, this is very different. this is not by choice. >> i would say -- you wouldn't say they are celebate, but it is being withheld for them. >> i don't want to put too fine a point on it.
unkemt, unhappy. >> that is not true. jay it is totally -- >> it is not true. >> and not fully shaven either. >> i will grant you that. have you ever been to a comic-con? >> oh god. i >>- q. i went to the last comic son and so many hot women there. i am not talking about people working there. i am talking about fans. >> they were hired by the organizer. you are meant to think if you read comic books you will get laid. >> the issue is tucker is -- the hot women at the comic-con, but are they engaging in relation with the young men? >> i cannot answer that on air. i am reading about ab saw nens nens -- abstinence clubs. we didn't have those.
we had the chess club and the abstinence followed. >> seems like a cheap shot at the chess club. >> i was vice president. >> i had a chess club. the club i had, i beat up people who played chess. >> tom, i am so sorry. >> what else here? >> andy, these new comics are not based on the occupy movement, but rather on the anonymous movement. >> the writer of -- i am forgetting the name of it, and it is not the green one, the movement. the way she described it is hactivist and everything was about information and about information being power. and that to me sounds more like anonymous than occupy wall street. >> that's a fine line, but i will take that. >> i don't think it is a fine
line. >> jedediah, you said politics had to infect everything we had to do. isn't that what we do on "red eye"? >> i like a break. i go home and sometimes i watch some crappy reality tv to distract myself. maybe i want to open a comic book and fall in love with a super hero. >> that is a woman thing. my wife likes reality. she is a smart woman, very educated and she loves trashy tv. >> we need an escape. women think too much. we are always thinking and processing. when we have five minutes to not think we welcome it. >> can you not escape into a costumed drama like i do? >> we analyze it. we analyze everything. i can't analyze honey boo boo so i watch it. >> dressing in a costumes and harassing your neighbors, not a costumes drama. >> speaking of which, greg and andy, you were speaking of rip
taylor, and he is very much alive. >> excellent. >> born in 1934. >> that makes him 70 -- what, 78 this. >> he is about 50 throw. give or take. he is not younger than 53. >> he is the guy who created or invented the glitter bomb. >> that's right. but it wasn't done in malice. it was good fun. >> it was con confetti. >> you mentioned the pel grant. >> i corrected myself immediately. >> i know. did you know the pel grant was thaimed after -- was named after claiborne pel, a person from rhode island? >> i did know that. i >>- q. i should have asked you instead of giving the answer. that would have been impressive. >> the grant was actually named after grant from "eight is enough." >> how did he get away with singing the theme of that
song? >> i don't know. >> didn't they give the other eight of them a shot at singing the theme. >> this is something we will never know unless you look it up jie. who was grant on "melrose place"? >> he was a looker. >> i have stories about him. none of them good. >> they don't have a defining feature film the way the gen-x crowd did. >> clearly you haven't seen "she's all that" with the delightful -- -- -- >> it was a crowd please. you know what happened in the end? she went for the dork guy. >> and jennifer love hewitt. >> that was a great movie jie. what happened to freddy prins
-- freddy difference junior. prince. chico and the man was a great show. he was an american player. >> he stepped through the door in the attic and garage. >> jedediah, huge flaw in the data of the millenial story. the findings are self-reported. it is young people having a dimer view or ming more likely to wine when it comes to specifics. jay young people love to complain. every time i hang out with people in their twenties they say i have a headache and i don't feel well. it goes from one complaint to another. yes, absolutely. >> why are you hanging around with people in their 20s? >> i like to party. >> they don't. >> they won't want to hang out
with you if you are slamming them on this show? >> i have to go back home to look at my posters. >> you obesity, let me get to this last story. you guys were arguing over the phak that the doctor could use his eyes when he talked to christy. h they found one can be overweight and very healthy. >> that's imr they came up with the term morbidly obese. there is a difference. the next time the oldest person in the world dyes, it is a japanese woman who is 115. she smokes always. she drinks multiple cups of saka and is 115 years old. i. >> when it is a man it is the
chinese guys. >> my grandmother is going to be 99 this year. she eats bacon and eyings for breakfast and was always told she needed to lose five pounds. >>- q. i we -- >> by the way, jedediah, why don't you come and visit us? >> what? >> rule of thumb. don't tell someone they look like an over wait celebrity unless they are twice the size. >> i should be more specific. don'ts say, hey, dude, did anyone tell you you look like reims. something you want to spabd upon? upon-- want to expand upo? >> yous one of the rules of thumb. >> he does look like a harry
cats. they are not just good at keeping secrets, they are killing machines. as "red eye" reported they are responsible for the deaths of billions of birds and smaller animals. what do a bunch of strangers think of this news? we sent the only fnc correspondent to find out. here is hoping he gets pooped on. >> cats, birds, what is the deal between the both of them? fur ball. the stair is this, housecats and feril cats are responsible
for three billion bird deaths a year. what do we do about this? >> put bells on them. >> put bells on the cat? it is a simple solution to a hour rabble problem. >> that's the way nature works. >> the cat has to kill the bird it is okay i think. >> it is nasty creatures. >> your government has to work on it. >> so you are saying what the government should do is a mass genocide of all caps? >> the government should just put them in one area and mow them down? >> yes. >> there is a new study that says cats -- i am trying to talk here. >> what is your favorite cat in the history of cats? >> he likes lasagna. >> what do you like about it most? >> is it odie are on otis? >> i don't know. >> i think it was odie.
i remember he was 80% tongue which was to me a personal turnover. >> sylvester. >> sylvester the cat. i liked that he had 5* speech impediment and he didn't let it stop him. >> the little yellow bird. >> sylvester the cat. can you do an impression of him? >> oh my god, i don't know. >> that's great. that's his catch phrase, oh my god, did you speak? that's what he says all the time and tweety is like what, and he eats them. that's part of the problem right there. >> no idea who that is. >> ♪ never was there ever ♪ a cat so clever ♪ as magical mr. ♪ mr. -- you snow, cats. have you thought of seeing that in new york? >> it is no longer on tbrod way. on broadway? when they said now and forever, they [bleep] lied. >> who is your favorite cat woman?
>> i don't know who that is. >> she had $4 million of plastic surgery and her face looks like a big ball of botox stretched over a tether ball. >> if she is happy with the way she looks. >> bottom line is she is rich and so call me. i can be the dog you are looking for cat lady. what is your best cat sad face? >> i think cats are like this, now they give me a meow. and a sad one. it is a melancholy one. >> how about cautiously optimistic? >> how about i have done three lines of coke deal. >>ow. >> the carling gentleman who wanted them to run up the cats and kill them. a german fellow i am assuming.
>> possibly austria, but somewhere around a there. >> he had a lot of solutions. >> it seems like we no longer ran the man on the street interview. >> they are stealing all of our dumb tourists. >> those kids, they were the only americans. i couldn't get a word in edge wise. every time i tried to ask them a simple and well thought out about cats all i heard is "brooklyn." they are behind me and had nothing to do with anything i was saying. >> tucker your idea in the green room was exterminate all of the cats? >> i love cats. >> why would you say that in the green room? >> was that you jedediah? >> greg was going on and on
all right, last topic. a new survey from career website pay scale.com lists the most popular professions for hooking up with co-workers. number one is artists if that is a real thing. cooks, welders, stock clerks and late night tv am buds men who fill in. it is very specific. greg, when you were in your 20s you hooked up with a lot of welders. >> governor william welds. >> really? >> yes. it was magic. it didn't work out. always into politics. i was into welding. i owned a lot of welding pants. they are a big turn on. >> you know what the problem is there? obama. >> the kenyan lady hater is killing everybody's sex life.
where do young people have the most terrorists when they are young? at -- most trists, when they are young and at work? are you in an office building or an office building or office building. that's where people meet. they don't have jobs and they are at home. this is the biggest problem of being employed. you don't meet the people you are marying and having children. obama's felt, impeachment. he is good looking. >> a lady hater. >> are you saying job leads to marriage and kids. >> stay unemployed kid. >> now it is an ought look. >> now you flip on a webcam and you can meet people. if you really want to meet, go to the post office. he said at the post office you can get laid day or night. >> you are a driver? your driver?
>> my driver never says things like that. >> i always get the same guy. it is like a cabdriver and he said unbelievable. you go behind the mail bags and people are -- >> this is on our dime. >> are you surprised? >> i guess. i expected to see a different kind of package. >> jedediah, here is my theory, this is based on people self- reporting. they asked people in various professions. my theory is it is a load of crap and artists like to think of themselves as artists. they are not really working so they have to cover for that. >> i find artists really sexy. >> it is not that they are thought sexy. >> i don't know like the starving artists who can't pay their bills and can paint
you? >> you sew what i am getting at. the profession i have seen where people hookup the most is the restaurant industry. >> teacher. >> no, not a restaurant. >> cocktail waitress, bar trending. anywhere there is alcohol involved. >> when i get on "the daily mail i cannot get off. every day the daily male has a great looking 38-year-old teacher who is initiating her students in the way of love. >> did you write for threm? >> no, but i wish i d the problem with the daily mail is if you go to the website on the right side is just thousands of league after league after league. >> i know. i almost lost my job over the mailly mail. bill, last word. >> i i don't know where media was on this study, but i know for a fact that news corp has been pretty good to me.
don't forget, or if you are finding it out now, you can watch us on saturday at a special time 11:00 p.m. eastern and 8:00 p.m. pacific. then again, twice on a saturday night. i have no idea what that is like. >> and twice tonight. >> i don't think that's true. >> we are 3:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. >> apparently that is true. again. i don't understand what this means. i know a new "red eye" returns on monday and guests include
patti ann browne and diane macedo and scwhron gibson and mike -- john gibson and mike baker. >> time to go back to thomas jane shillou for the wrap up. >> when can we see you on "america's newsroom." >> monday morning talking politics, not sure of the time. check my website. i will see you there. >> tucker, where can i go for up to the minute breaking news on the hooker sex scandal? >> i would try "the daily caller.com." i would start there first. >> i asked the people in the men men -- in the ma nen des blog. >> greg, great having you for a guest. don't you do other shows? >> i pretty much hang out here. i don't have a place to go. >> nicotine gum from tucker jie. . th