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tv   This Week With George Stephanopoulos  ABC  November 8, 2015 8:00am-9:00am CST

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it's been bugging me all day. pfft, oh. oh, did you get it? uh... yeye, i think so. ladies and gentlemen of the press, we are very excited to welcome you to a sneak peak of the a&a music factory. as you can see, we've built a state of the art music academy. we have every instrument a kid could dream of on our one of a kind music carousel. a professional recording booth.h. a stage for pepeorming, another stage complete with virtual concert simulator goggles. thank you, miami! oh! man, this thing is awesome. it lets you perform anywhere on earth. or anywhere not on earth. thank you, planet zytrax! boom! oh, no. incoming asteroid. (screams) moving r rht along. our goal at the a&a music factory
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and that's something you can't put a prictag on. but to be clear, there is a price tag. 300 bucks, cash only. beverly robbins, senior editor, miami daily star gazette. so, what was your motivation for the redesign? well... it was impmptant for us to crcrte a nunuuring environment for our young students. so they can learn music in a comfortable, safe setting. no one is safe! we're being attacked by aliens! (screaming) stop! you're in virtual reality! huh? oh. whoo! that's a relief. what's that? i think this belongs to you. (theme music playing) when the crowd wants more i bring on the thunder 'cause you've got my back and i'm not going under you're my point, you're my guard you're the perfect chord
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we're heaead for the top, we've got it on lock we'll make 'em say "hey!" nd we'll keep rockin' oh,there's no way i could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya it's no fun when you're doing it solo with you it's like, "whoa," yeah, and i know i own this dream 'cause i got you with me there's no way i could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya. the a&a music factory has something for everyone. we can teach you how to dance, how to write songs, how to make music videos. beverly robbins, senior editor at miami daiai star gazette. i haha to sound negative,, but this just sounds like a couple of pop stars exploiting their fame for a quick buck.
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we get your skepticism, ms. robbins, but we take this very seriously. yep, give austin and ally a week, and they can turn well, i don't know about just a week. yeah! even i ia kid has never touched an instrument, they'll l lk out of here a pro. um, i mean it would help if they had some experience. ah, beverly robbins, senior editor, miami daily star gazette. so you're saying you can take a child, and turn them into a musician in one week? well... if that's what you recorded us saying then i guess that's what we said. then prove it. ach a group of amatetes a song to perfrfm at your grand openeng next week. oh, come on. that just sounds like some publicity stunt to generate attention for our new music school. wait! that sounds like a big publicity stunt to generate attention for our new music school! we're in! um... excuse us. trish, what are you doing? we want to make headlines, rightht
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yeah. our chance to embarrass ourselves. hey, if anybody can put a band together in a week, it's you guys. -(austin sighs) -okay, if you're trying to flatter us into going along with this, it's working. yeah, we are pretty awesome, aren't we? yes! we're making a band! great! my son, max, can be your first member. max. oh. wow. watching a student embark on his first musical journey really warms my heart. i hate music. and that breaks it. -oh. -give me it! -oh. -(grunts) kids, right? (laughs) welcome to step one of operation make a band in a week from a bunch of newbies to impress the media on our grand opening. maybe step one shohod be coming up with a shorter name. wait, where's dez? i thought we all were supposed to find a new student to join our band. hello, strangers.
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dez sent me here to join the a&a music factory band. so you couldn't find a kid, dez? no, i could not. well, that's okay. the three of us found students and max makes four. let's just hope the other kids have a little more enthusiasm than max. maybe max just hasn't found the right instrument. what do you want to play, little dude? right now, i want to play zombie shredder. oh, i love that game. i hate to brag, but i made it to level six. -i'm on level six... -oh. ...hundred and twelve. nonody likes a show off. all right, well i brought lily. she started piano lessons here last week. i'm super pumped! i've been practicing nonstop. (plays notes off key) were the lights on or off when you were practicing? this is dylan. i met her at the skate park. 'sup? well, welcome to the a&a music factory, dylan. oh my gosh! i can'n'believe i'm actually t tking to ally dawsws!
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because i don't listen to pop music. so if you don't like pop music, then why do you want to join our school? this austin guy just kept bugging me. pfft. you came up to me and asked me to autograph everything in your backpack. i was just making sure all my pens worked. psh, i don't think you're gorgeous. (clicks tongue) this is herman. he's on my little brother's baseball team. i really want to go back to my game. i don't think i i'm any good at music. i just watched you at batting practice. trust me, you're not any good at baseball either. no good? i struck out ten times last game. my coach said that's a record! look, herman, you may not be good atatusic now, bubuyou'll be a rockckar by the end ofofhe week. you all will! the first thing we need to do is find you instruments to play. you know, max, since u've got such quick fingers, i thought you'd be great at the keyboard. sick! yeah, i guess playing the keyboard is pretty... sick!
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i just threw a zombie head into a wood chipper. that is also sicic can you at least try playing the keyboard? sure. (bangs notes off key) well, it's a start. all right, herman. show us what you got. (sticks fumble) (air whooshes) (air whooshes) hey, i'm pretty good. (sighs) we should have bebe more clear. wh you play the drums, the key is to... (drum beat) hit the drums. (drum beats) -(crash) -trish: hey! well, at least you hit something. (plays loud, t of tune keys) you know what, maybe the keyboard isn't for me.
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how about this? (out of tune accordion notes) oh, here. let me show you how to hold that. oopsie. it broke. ooh, can i try the giant guitar? oh, are you sure? the upright bass is kind of a big instrument. (struggling) am i playing bass yet? so dylan, what do you think about playing guitar? or the air guitar. (imitates guitar chords) aw. guitar could be fun. something cute and glittery like the one ally played on her nally me tour. or... whatever. here, this is the exact one she used. well, i guess if this is the only one you have. all right. let's start with some simple chords. this is "d."
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(strums chord) cool, you picked that up quick. this is fun. you'll be a pop princess in no time. pop princess? uh, you know what? i just remembered, i gotta go meet my friends at the skate park. so... catch you later. that wasaseird. she said sheheas having fun, and then she just ran out. ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. oh, i'm sorry,hat was that? i couldn't hear you. i was too busy jamming out on my air tambourine. i'd rather be playing my air guitar, but someone took it away from me. ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. (faster) ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. this band has got to be good. we can't ruin our musisischool's reputationonefore it even opens.s. it's gonna be awesome. we've been working with them one on one for days. now it's just a matter of having them play together. all right, let's destroy this song.
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well, theyeye definitely destroying the song. this is a disaster. i have one word for that mess. yikes. i've got 22 words for this mess. there's no way they'll be able to play the grand opening this weekend because they were really, really, really bad. really. the press is gonna rip us to shreds. maybe we should postpone the opening. that'll look just as bad. we need a plananb." guys, come on. 're not postponing it, and there's no plan "b." we can't give up. maybe they're not good today. and maybe they won't be good tomorrow. or the next day. but i believe in us. and if we promised to turn this rag tag bunch of rookies into a band, then that's what we're gonna do. now who's with me? (out of tune notes continue)
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okayguys. we heard your first performance as a band, and wow. you guys sounded... wow. but we thought to ourselves, how can we take something that's already so perfect, and make it even better? meet your new band mates.
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you're replacing us? no, no, no, no, no! these guys are jusushere to make yoururusic bigger, louder... more music-like. um, so. let's shake things up. dylan, we're gonna put you on the maracas. and lily, we're gonna put you on the triangle. exciting, huh? really? you think you can hand us a couple tiny noisemakers and we're just gonna jump for joy? oh! a triangle, my favorite shape! and max, you get to stay on the keyboard. (groans) whatever. what do you want me to play? you have got the most important job of all. the finger snapper. -(dez snaps fingers) -(herman snaps silently) ha! you're a natural. he can't do anything. all set. let's hear how you sound.
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dedeand trish: whoo! i think it's pretty obvious what's going on here. yeah, we're nailing it! no. they brought in pros to drown out our sound. i mean, max's keyboard isn't even plugged in. and neither is my triangle. i thought we were gonna be the rockstars. l: yeah! you are! we're sorry. we just wanted to hear how this would sound. and obviously, it sounds terrible. you, you, and you, you are out of the band. you don't have what it takes to play with these unique talents. uh... yeah, get lost! i'm sorry... i thought you were way better than those kids. i really don't know what's going on right now. bye. ally.
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what are you doing? she's doing the right thing. we made a promise to these kids that we'd turn theinto a band and that's what we're gonna do. can i still be the snapper? we have our work cut out for us. (chuckles) here, , ly. i thought maybe we could try a bass you could actually hold. hey, i can touch the strings! (plays notes) (buttons clicking) o-- -hey! -kay. i hooked up your keyboard to the video game and rigged it so that every time you hit the right key... (plays note) .you kill a zombie. whoa! (plays n nes, lasers zap) look at, look at, look at! oh, get it, get it, get it! yeah, yeah, yeah! -sick! -oh! that wasross. both: oh! right, okay, time out, kid.
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twelve? yeah, you u ed glasses. and an anatoto lesson. here, try these. whoa! who knew the world was so clear and in focus? ally, you have lettuce in between your teeth. (rhythmic beats) (g(gtar chords) great, dylan. you're a natural. i have a little surprise for you. (gasps) it's the jacket ally wore in her redial video! i thought you might want to wear it when you perform at the grand opening. oh my gosh, i love it! (murmuring) i can totally sell that online. thanks. whoo! prepare to be bashed, zombie scum! i will wipe out your legion of undead with a beautiful c minor scale. (melodic notes)
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i can see everything! i bet i'm even better at baseball now. dez, toss me that apple. yes! i missed it by way less than i usually do! stick to the drums, kid. wow, i'm impressed. everybody's been sounding really good. i know! we might actually pull this off tonight. wait, where's dylan? i don't know exactly what happened but dylalasaid she's quittinggbecause she doesn'n'want her skater friends to tease her for bebeg in a pop band. then she got on her skateboard and skated away real fast. so you do know exactly what happened.
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dylan. (sighs) if you're here to convince me to come back to the band, it's not gonna work. come on. it's obvious you like being in the band. what's the deal? well, it's just... my friends are all skaters. they would totally make fun of me if they saw me wearing a girly jacket and playing in a aop band with a b bch of little kids. i know how you feel. sometimes, people walk up to me and say, "austin, you're really, really cool." other times, they just say, "austin, you're cool." so... so is that supposed to make me feel better? okay, bad example. i have a better one. when i was a kid, i took a ballroom dance class.
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but i'm glad i didn't. that class helped make me an awesome dancer. i get what you're saying, but i'm not coming back. well, just think about it. don't neededo. not coming b bk. okay, well... let me know when y y make a decision! good talk! i don't think dylan's coming back. what makes you say that? because she said, "i'm not coming back." like, nine times. but i'm still hoping e's gonna change hererind. i don't know how much longer we can have herman stall. yeah, people are getting sick of watching him show off his eyesight. doors must remai unlocked during business hours. restrooms for patrons only. hi.
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we're all excited to see if you actually made a band in one week. are we? are we all excited? it's gonna be great, guys. but would you mind not mentioning my name up there? okay, thanks. made in taiwan. herman, it's okay. uh, hi. (austin chuckles nervously) welcome to the grand opening of the a&a music factory. dez, wanna do the honors? oh, man. i forgot my giant pair of scissors. oh, good thing i brought my toenail scissors. um... (drumroll) (chuckles nervously)
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ta-da! last week we begananworking with a gro of brand new students. and tonight, they're gonna perform a song. and when austin says "brand new," he means brand new. like they'd never even touched instruments before. like ever. like never, ever. so if they were even able to make a sound with their instruments, that alolo would be a victoto. i mean, especially considering that we don't have a lead guitarist. wait! yocame back. yeah. i want to be in the band. your story about taking ballroom dancing really helped me. it made you realize that you shouldn't care what your friends think? no. it gave my friends something way lamer to make fun of. so thanks. (laughs) you took ballroom dancing? ha! dez, we took it together. oh, yeah.
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(plays melodic tune) all: na, na, na na, na, na na, na, na na, na, na na, na, na na, na, na na, na, na na, na, na (cheers and applause) beverly robbins, senior editor. yeah, yeah, we know, bev. i think i speak for everyone when i say how impressed i am that these kids were able to rise to the challenge. i don't know, i thought they missed a few notes. both: dez! mom, can i keep taking lessons? music is just as fun as bashing in the skull of a zombie corpse.
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and a little disturbed. we destroyed that song! in the good way. now i'm great at two things: baseball and rock and roll! hey, let's do another song. all: yeah. (all playing out of tune) i would just like to point out we only taught them the one song. just the one. hey. what are you guys looking at? it's the article by beverly robbins, senior editor, miami daily star gazette. oh. what'd she say? fantastic. amazing. bright future ahead. wow, she really loves the music factory. no, that was about her son, max. but she did mention us at the very end. the a&a music factory was more than adequate in recognizing max's natural talent. yeah! i told you guys you were more than adequate.
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austin, i hear you're quite the ballroom dancer. oh, you tell me. -(classical music plays) -may i have this dance? uh, mind if i cut in? -austin: sure. -ally: yes, i-- oh. hey, that guy's pretty good. (applauding) and judging from the crowd, he must be really hot... diggety-dog! what happened to stuart?
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remember to tip your nannies! wow! ditto! stuart, you sound great. and you look... and i mean this in the nicest possible way, so not like you. meet stuart 2.0, the newer, cooler model. i can't believe i'm saying this, but i might want to kick the tires and take that cooler model for a test drive. know what i mean? i hope not. honestly, i can't take all the credit for my transformation. so, who does get the credit? and can i get an appointment with them before my high school reunion? i owe it all to my new nanny, hudson. well, where is this miracle worker? he's around. he said if i need him, to just blow on this conch shell. (blowing)
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what's going on, stu-dog? i'm in the middle of a crazy ultimate disc game. whoo. ow, ow, ow! what is he? a nanny, or a german shepherd? hey, bro and bro-citas. i'm hudson, and i'm not a nanny. i'm a manny. (jessie chuckles) well, whatever you are, you're not very good at it. you left your charge unsupervised in the park. no, i left him unsupervised in the deli. he made his own way to the park. hey, stu-dog, why don't you and your little friend go dive for pennies in that duck pond? whoever holds their breath the longest, gets a dollar! do you realize how dangerous that is? (water splashing) yeah, that's why they're playing for a dollar. wow, neglectful and cheap. i'm surprised i haven't dated you yet. oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh hey jessie, hey jessie it feels like a party every day
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but they keep on pulling me every which way hey jessie, hey jessie my whole world is changing turning around they got me going crazy yeah, they're shaking the ground but they took a chance on the new girl in town and i don't w wt to let them downwndown, down hey jessie hey jessie it feels like a party every day hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, jessie siblings, fabulous news! this weekend is the walden academy talent show. are either of you going to participate? ha! no. dude, only dorks do that stuff.
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i was the first one to sign up! (sighs) i plpl on wowing the crowd with my cup ststking routine. what the heck is cup stacking? it is the delicate art of briskly stacking cups, then unstacking them, then stacking them again. so your talent is chores? no! have you not seen kids doing it on the internet? it is very cool! just because it's on the internet doesn't mean it's cool. have you watched bertram's boy band aududion? actually, would you watch it? somehow, i'm at negative seven views. ravi, i don't want to see you get up on stage and embarrass yourself. yeah, i see enough of that in gym class when you try to climb the rope. seriously, what is the point of that? hello, they make ladders now. anyway,,if i do not do cupuptacking, then what could i do? something people want to see. like a big song and dance routine! that is a great idea! except i cannot sing or dance!
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well, i can teach you to dance. i can teach you to sing. and i can you how do it all with pizzazz and style! you all would do that for me? beats doing homework. beats doing work work. (giggling) i get totose glitter! zuri, stuart, did you wash your hands? aw, come on. who ever said a little dirt was bad for you? uh, science. and i'm sure you've noticed by now that stuart's a bit of a germaphobe. that was the old me. hudson says living with dirt and pathogens builds my resistance to disease. we live with luke. we must be immortal! no offense, but that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. so, i suppose you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom, too? yes. yes, i do. and i'm really starting to regret shaking yours. well, i think kids can pretty much take care of themselves. you're a nanny! your entire livelihood based on the fact that kids can't take care of themselves! jessie, chill.
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he's taken the 'ew' out of stuart. zuri, that's not nice. no, she's right. i used to be a real uptight mess... kind of like you. i am not uptight! okay, kids just need boundaries! stop worrying so much. you know what they say, kids have nini lives. that's cats! cats have nine lives! exactly. that's why cats can be anything they want to be when they grow up. no, that's kids! cats, kids, what's the difference? (chuckles) wow, i'm glad you're not a pediatrician! now, before you wow them at the talent show, you need to learn some of the babacs. here's a simple major scale. do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do! now you try. do... do... little lower. do... do... little, little lower. do... re... mi... fee... fie... foe... fum...
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nailed it. we'll work on the minor scale right after i pick-up a pint of ab positive. wow, bummer that the planetarium was closed. but at least we got out for some fresh air. this is new york. the only thing fresh was the guy sitting next to me on the s sway. hey, he taught the kids some new words. yeah, and if you use them, there's a bar of soap in your future. so, i guess rain-check on the planetarium. don't sweat it, we will reskedge. great! how about this weekend? whoa, whoa, whoa. slow your roll. stu-dog doesn't like to be tied down on a leash. it'll happen when it happens. i'm available whenever you are.
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i hope it's soon! i'll be waiting by the phone! dial it back, zuri. too needy, too needy! listen, we can still have a killer night under the stars. we'll just go sit on the ledge and look at the real night sky! wha... zuri and stuart cannot sit on the ledge! they might fall. hudson, feel free. huh. you can't really see many stars in new york. unless you count when jessie gazes at ryan gosling through the window at zabar's. (both laughing) man, can that guy schmear a bagel. well, if it's a show in the night sky you want, allow me to oblige. who wants to see some fireworks? me! oh, goodie! i mean, that could be dope. you carry illegal fireworks with you? duh. it would be irresponsible to leave them lying around
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i think they already have. look, would you just relax? i'm a responsible adult. stop being such a wet blanket. we need a wet blanket! we need a wet blanket! and this is why we don't play "hit the fern with a bottle rocket!" ooh mirror, mirror, what does our future hold? -show me what happens when our stories unfold. - ooh welcome to my wicked world wicked world (chuckles) well, well, well, the famous auradonian kids. okay, freddie, retract your claws. but i just had them sharpened. -(gasp) -she's joking... i think.
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it's sickening. hey, you can't talk to us like that. and what, pray tell, are you gonna do about it? i'll... i'll... i'll... -thought so. -when i throw a party, i-- i won't invite you. (laughs) we really need to teach them how to smack talk. do you remember the "your mama" battles that we used to have? your mama's so weak, old ladies help her across the street. your mama's so weak, instead of poison apples, she makes apple pie. your mama's so soft, the only spells she casts are crying spells. your mama's so soft, cats share pictures of her. oh snap. (both laugh) yo mama's so soft, she's... like... a pillow. well, what do you know, these guys are even more lame than i imagined. okay, we may not frown and wear black, but we are not lame.
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-yeah. -we can be rotten just like you guys. yeah! we can? uh, yeah. check this out. -(shatters) -(gasp) (gasp) what have i done? let me help! anyone got glue? ben: uh, i'd be happy to pay for damages. watching them do this is worse than any punishment my mother ever gave me. oh, yeah. we have got to get them out of here before anyone else shows up. audrey: are we going to jail? -(creaking) -(gasp) you gotta hide. i don't want them to know you're here, too. i don't even know how we got here. i mean, one moment i was rubbing paint off jordan's lamp, and then the next-- that's it! the lamp! (sigh) i just wish we could ask her how we... (southern accent) then, my precious darlings, you just take two pinches of sugar... (nervous laugh) hi. (chuckles) is this a bad time?
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well, everyone's alive, so... no harm, no foul. (chuckles) it's a major foul! you just back-drafted our balcony! because you made me nervous with all of your hovering! because you made me nervous with all of your talk about how warning labels are just suggestions! look, can't you two just chillax? yeah, on the bright side,
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much like our grill and lounge chair, which are now fused together. we're the ones who should be mad. you put out the fire before we could make s'mores! thanks a lot, quick-draw. hudson, i think you should leave. you're obviously a bad influence, and i can't have you around zuri. oh, yeah? mmm-hmm. well, i can't have you around stuart. i don't want him hanging out with somebody who's such a buzzkill! now you separate us? where were you when he was being all creepy and shaved my name in his hair? (elevator dings) this is hecka lame, brah! stu-dog's about to go off! can it, stu-dog! can it, stu-dog! whoa. please tell me mrs. kipling didn't lay tt, or we're gonna have a godzilla situation on our hands.
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the egg represents an opportunity to burst out of his shell. ravi: ow-wee! i hurt my hand on this rigid material you used to make the egg. it's tissue paper! ravi: yes! but it is two-ply. you think dressing ravi like a chicken is going to help him be popular? he's an eagle! ready to spread his wings and fly! he better fly, because people will be lined up in the hallway to pluck him. okay, ravi, did you practice this opening dance move last night? does this answer your question?
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so, no? i practiced that for six hours! i did not do any of my homework... for next week. naturally, this week is already done. wait a minute? we had school this week? zuri, where are you? quit pouting about stuart and i'll take you to see any movie you want! within reason! (knocking on door) i can't find stuart! i think he ran away! wha... zuri's missing too! they're probably together. oh, no! we lost the kids! what are we gonna do? don't worry, i know how to find zuri. because your nanny-child bond is so strong that you've developed a sixth sense for knowing exactly where she is? no, no, i put a tracking device on her. follow me. (snoring) (device beeping)
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(rapid beeping) oh, no! bertram fell asleep on zuri! help me! (grunting) what're you looking for? a zuri pancake! oh, thank goodness! zuri's not crushed! although, i think i can hear this pillow crying. here's zuri's watch! i could have told you what time it was without you throwing me off the couch! (scoffs) i'm just amazed it still works. (both laughing) oh, great, another person in my life to hate. i don't want to lose my job! i can't go back to teaching yoga! it's too high-pressure! then help me find them! stuart. little dude, let me hear you! blow that conch shell, stu-dog! (distant honking)
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uh... i can't hear the signal over all those road-raging cabbies! and that is one of the many,
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there's no sign of stuart anywhere! zuri, either! and i went to all her favorite places. the zoo, the free sample bakery, the rooty-tooty cowboy bootery... miranda lambert's doing a chaps signing there today. well, i struck out at the flaxseed emporium. stuart's really into fiber. hmm. how did this happen? oh, probably because both of his parents are bowel surgeons. no, i mean how did everything get so messed up?
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fell out of a cab, then lucked into a gig as stuart's nanny. and now i'm blowing it all! ah, you wouldn't understand what that's like. are you kidding? you're basically me with man-hands. these hands aren't fit to husk stuart's flaxseeds! i just can't believe they ran off without saying anything. yeah. stuart really should have put that in the note he left. he left a note? i know, right? what kid doesn't text these days? it says they're going to hang out under the stars. i just thought that meant they were going to hide from us until it got dark. or they went somewhere where they can see the stars right now. i see what you're saying. zuri and stuart went to... the planetarium! hollywood! right. the planetarium. that makes more sense. stuart, this is so romantic.
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um, aren't you going to tell me my eyes twinkle brighter than all the stars in the galaxy? nah, stu-dog doesn't do all that. well, are you going to say anything nice about me? you're a'ight. you know, i'm not so sure i like the new stuart. what's not to like, babe? you used to be the one who did all the chasing, and now i'm doing that. and it is way too much work! i am a chasee, not a chaser! but, i thought you hated the way i used to come on so strong. (sighs) look, just because a person doesn't want to go to the party doesn't mean they don't want to be invited. so, you're saying you really liked being worshipped? duh. i want the old stuart back. really? done.
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welcome back, old friend. welcome back, stuart. now, let's get this universe started. okay, but the beauty of the heavens could never compare to the beauty right in front of me. aw! that's more like it. (loud humming) it's too loud! there are no clouds! this is about the big bang! (rumbling) zuri? (screaming) i am okay, but that bang was too big! (applause) bertram, how did ravi's singing lessons go?
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ugh. luke, any chance ravi's dancing is going to knock the crowd off their feet? the only person getting knocked off his feet will be ravi. seriously, it's like he's dancing in swim fins! well, hopefully he won't get the chance to embarrass himself. unless he's been secretly lifting weights, he's never getting out of that egg. zuri: help! i'm stuck. help me. i'm sorry, zuri, it's too heavy! this is no job for a wordsmith! then run and get help! running is also no job for a wordsmith! stuart, there you are! where's zuri? she's under the scaffolding! (gasping) fret not, my sweet, authority figures are here! someone get this off of me! you can't possibly lift that! (grunting) how did you lift that?
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(sighs) when one of my kids is in trouble, my super-human nanny strength kicks in. oh! i think your nanny strength is still kicking. sorry. it's kinda hard to turn it off. you should not have run away! you either, stuart! you two are so grinded! he means grounded! well, you left us no choice! why should your petty squabbles get in the way of our resplendent love? i see stuart 1.0 is back. which is actually good news, because i need someone to do my taxes. i am not fudging one deduction for you until you two make up, so zuri and i can hang out together. well, jessie... (clears throat) maybe you were right about me being a tad irresponsible. a tad? you asked the zookeeper if stuart could swim with the polar bears! jessie, do you want to make nice, or do you want an audit?
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okay, okay! i'm sorry that hudson and i didn't think about your feelings. and... i'm sure he's not as irresponsible as i thought he was. thank you, jessie! (laughing) okay, who wants to go base jump off the statue of liberty? great idea! why don't i pack a parachute for you. well, thank you, jessie! jessie, where have you been? well, you know how i always tell you kids, never run off to a planetarium closed for renovations because tumbling scaffolding could crush you to death? no. well, apparently i should have. has ravi gone on yet? well, the audience is still here, so... no. ladies and gentlemen, my apologies. i will not be performing the song and dance routine listed in your program. i am not a singer, nor a dancer,
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my talent lies in being myself. oh, no! he's going to be himself. and now, i give you the art of cup stacking. after this, the only way he'll be safe from noogies is if he's home-schooled. not that safe. hit it, mrs. kipling! (upbeat music playing) that was awesome!
8:49 am
wait, who am i supposed to give this to? no, ravi. it's yours. you won! oh! i'm so proud of you! i won? i won! oh, joy! so this what being popular feels like? no wonder emma is always so bubbly. congratulations, ravi. i'm sorry i told you to change your act. and i'm sorry we tried to turn you into something you're not. and i'm sorry, i ever bothered to get involved in your pathetic little life. your apologies are accepted. hey, next year let us do a family act. jessie, you can be in it, too. (chuckles) ravi, that's sweet, but no thank you. you know, several walden parents have big showbiz connections. in that case, try to keep the audience here. i'm going to run upstairs and grab my baton, my tap shoes, and...
8:50 am
go, go, go! hey, jess. hey, hudson. oh no, did stuart's parents fire you? wow, you don't own a lot of stuff. no... i brought this over to show you that i am turning over a new leaf. these are all of my illegal fireworks. i will not be needing them anymore. hmm. well. that is very mature of you. but, i don't want them. why don't you just throw them away? sure thing. (sirens blaring) i meant dispose of them properly, not throw them in the fireplace! i have so much to learn from you about how to be a nanny. well, i'll lend you my nanny handbook. never mind, you'll have to get your own. thanks. but, it's never gonna teach me to be as good with kids as you. (scoffs)
8:51 am
the kids! my wallet! where are they going? i don't know, it's not like she has any money up there. i hope it's not to get her diary. 'cause, i got that right here. (laughing) i can't believe they just left us alone on the streets of new york. (scoffs) they are terrible nannies. (both shouting) guys! the shipment of maracas just came in! these are even nicer than the last maracas. (rattling)
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