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tv   Through the Decades  CBS  January 1, 2016 11:00pm-12:00am MST

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) you are, pound for pound, one of the funniest people on the planet. why do you want to do drama, man? >> i-- i-- >> stephen: you're hurting our feelings. >> i feel like it's time to have some pretense in my life. not the last consonant of your last name? that's how i get mine in. >> i like it. >> stephen: yeah. because you've done tremendous work. obviously i know you want to do it, because you can do anything. people ask me, like, "wow, in 'foxcatcher' he was really scary. i didn't see that coming." i said "no, i always knew he could play a psychotic." >> i appreciate that. >> stephen: yeah, you're welcome. >> well, i mean, right back at you, though. there is no one-- seriously! there is no one i would rather perform with than you. >> stephen: really? >> seriously. >> stephen: really. >> to be on-- ( cheers and applause ) but it's true. >> stephen: we always had a lot of fun together over the years. >> oh, my god! because i always knew, with the exception of this, we're always funny together. ( laughter )
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>> stephen: well, i will try my dramatic chops on you right now. >> no, but you're always-- you're always so on point, and so great, and you can-- i don't know. nope, everyone's bored with us. ( laughter ) >> stephen: but i'm enjoying this conversation! >> i am too. >> stephen: that's all that matters. let's talk about "the big short" for a second. i'm fascinated by this movie. i love the idea of this movie. so you play a guy, let me get this right, mark baum... >> yes. >> stephen: all right, based on a real hedge fund manager named steve eisman... >> right. >> stephen: and this is in the-- before the 2008 crash. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: he sees something coming. what does he see coming? >> he saw the bubble. he saw the housing bubble. he saw that all of these mortgages were going to default, >> stephen: a small group of people saw it with him. very few. >> a handful of people saw it coming, and they essentially bet >> stephen: and everybody crazy. movie, too, because you think, "well, who are the heroes here?" because, you know, you kind of
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time, it's at the expense of everyone else in america. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you know that if the heroes of our movie actually get what they want, all of us lose. >> exactly. and you still kind of root for it. >> stephen: when you were working on the movie, this is-- when i was watching the movie, what terrified me, was, i had forgotten how close we came to a global meltdown. like $17 trillion disappeared overnight, but it could have been much worse. >> it, well, and had the government not bailed out the banks, who knows what would have happened there. i didn't really know much about it at the time. you know, you read the paper and you watch the news. but the extent of it, i had no idea. >> stephen: so you did not really-- you don't really deeply understand what was-- >> anything. ( laughter ) >> stephen: anything, right. so-- so-- >> i mean, that-- >> stephen: i would just point out, that that is a very accurate portrayal of wall street in 2008. >> ( laughs ) thank you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: really good work.
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) and the movie is with adam mckay, the guy who did "anchorman's" one and two. what is, like, the difference of doing "anchorman" with him, and doing a drama about the worldwide collapse of our financial system? >> it's actually closer than you would think. ( laughter ) because adam-- you know, when we were doing "anchorman," adam is always the funniest guy, you know, he sits behind a monitor with a microphone and shouts out things like, "i pooped a chocolate squirrel." and then you say that-- not in this movie, in the other movie-- and you just say things that he says. and he's incredibly smart and funny. for this movie, he still had his mic, but it would be different. it would be-- >> stephen: what, he's like, "go, improvise about, you know-- >> derivatives and-- and-- >> stephen: really? ( laughs ) >> yeah, yeah, and you would try to have some things in your back pocket that you could then improvise on. >> stephen: "collateralized debt obligations-- make it exciting, go." >> exactly, exactly. >> stephen: can you stick around? we have to take a little break here, but don't go away?
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all right. >> stephen: we'll be right back with more steve carell. ( applause ) hey sweetie, it's time. eye of the tiger tv anncr: good afternoon everyone. tv anncr: it's the perfect day for a game of football. tv anncr: this team is having a fantastic season. morning rituals are special. when you share what you love... ...with who you love. kellogg's frosted flakes. they're grrreat! now...you can win a microsoft surface 3...when you buy any specially-marked kellogg's product. ok, we're here.
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,,,,,,,, ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. we're here with our old friend, steve carell. it's really nice to see you, because seeing you reminds me of some of the really crappy jobs we used to do together. because when are you starting off, like, as comedians at second city, they didn't pay us anything-- >> no. >> stephen: like $75 a show, which maybe you had a couple times a week. >> right. >> stephen: so we would do any job. do you remember any of the industrials we used to do together? >> do you remember novell? >> stephen: yes, i do!
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an industrial is a show you do just for a corporation, and you are doing it only to their interests. we got hired by a company called novell network management. >> right. >> stephen: and we wrote something called the "circus of information." and we did a huge-- >> it was the "three rings of novell." >> stephen: the "three rings of novell," a trade show in boston, we did, exactly. and we wrote a 45-minute show, and it wasn't until right before we went on stage that we realized, we hadn't written one line for you. ( laughter ) >> i was just acting. >> stephen: you were acting out everything i was saying, because i was the ring master and you were, like, the lion and the clown, and i realized i had, like, four hours to memorize a 45-minute monologue. >> i was so happy. ( laughter ) like, easiest $75 bucks i ever made. >> stephen: i couldn't remember i would just go, "ladies and gentlemen! yes!" >> ( laughs ) and people knew. people in the audience knew,
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"the novell, yes, oohh." >> stephen: "network shareware management! observe!" ( laughter ) did you-- did you have to gain weight for this movie? >> i did. >> stephen: in "the big short?" >> yeah, like 25 pounds. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. >> stephen: what did you-- what was your poison of choice? >> well, we lived in chicago for a while, right? >> stephen: well, yeah. >> deep dish pizza, that will do it. >> stephen: oh, yeah. >> you can order it frozen from any number of fine establishments in chicago. >> stephen: yeah. >> and-- and, you don't even have to cook it. if you just suck on a frozen piece of pizza-- >> stephen: the thing about deep dish pizza, is, if it's deep enough, you can actually just put on a snorkel and just dive into the pie. it's like a baby pool filled with cheese... and sauce. and you try to stay healthy, though! was it like, were you afraid to go back to, you know, relaxed carell? because you are very disciplined
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>> it was-- it was really fun. >> stephen: yeah. ( laughter ) >> you know, you can say, "oh, i miss working out, it was terrible, i felt bad about myself and unhealthy." it was so great! ( laughter ) to just eat junk all the time. >> stephen: now did you get-- did you get fat enough for adam mckay? did you get as fat as he wanted you? >> the first day i showed up, adam said, "wow, you were not kidding around." ( laughter ) which is a really odd compliment to get. >> stephen: yeah, yeah. >> which is like, "fantastic! you look huge!" and you're not used to hearing those things together. >> stephen: right, right, yeah. >> but i was, yeah, i was happily fat, and we shot in new orleans which-- >> stephen: ooh! e touffe e! >> uh-huh-huh! >> stephen: uh-huh-huh! >> ai-yeee! ( laughter ) >> stephen: that is a good new orleans accent, right? that's what they sound like? >> jon: yeah, that's exactly how they sound. ( laughter ) >> thank you. >> stephen: people didn't know you had the, necessarily-- when
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the chops to do great dramatic work. but people still don't know that you are a great singer. >> well, that's not really true, but thank you. >> stephen: that you are a great singer, or-- ? >> yes. >> stephen: or that people don't know? >> that i'm a great singer, but that is nice of you to say. >> stephen: do people-- are you guys aware that he is a great singer? no, no one knows that-- no one knows that, steve carrell. ( cheers and applause ( inaudible ) you want to? >> i don't think that's a good idea. >> stephen: i will just start, you just jump-- okay, ready, okay, all right? >> i-- i-- >> stephen: really? >> really. >> stephen: really? >> really. >> stephen: come on. come on, improv man. ( cheers and applause )
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>> i want to be your partner can't you see the music is just starting night is calling and i am falling dance with me ( music starts ) fantasy could never be so giving i feel free i hope that you are willing pick the beat up and kick your feet up dance with me let it lift you off the ground starry eyes and love is all around i can take you where you want to go go
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i want to be your partner can't you see the music is just starting night is calling and i am falling dance with me ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: steve carell! "the big short" opens in new york this friday, nationwide december 23. steve carell, everybody. we'll be right back! yeah, i'm married. does it matter? you'd do that for me? really? yeah i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jake from state farm. sounds like a really good deal. jake from state farm, at three in the morning? who is this? it's jake from state farm. what are you wearing jake from state farm? uh, khakis. she sounds hideous. well, she's a guy so... another reason more people stay
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,,,,,,,, ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest is a golden globe, grammy- and oscar-winner who is now making her broadway debut. please welcome jennifer hudson. ( cheers and applause ) >> that's bad! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: aren't they good? >> amazing! wow.
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>> thank you for having me. >> stephen: pleasure to have you. you look amazing. >> thank you. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. >> stephen: how are you feeling? are you a happy person right now? >> i am very happy, especially after all of this. yes, very happy. >> stephen: so, you are a busy person right now... >> yeah. >> stephen: besides all of the things you have accomplished already, you are about to open on broadway. >> yes! >> stephen: in "the color cheers and applause ) >> it's exciting. and broadway keeps you really busy. >> stephen: broadway does keep you busy. >> yes, sir! a fun busy, though. >> stephen: uh-huh. now, you are an inspirational figure to a lot of people. you know, you have overcome tragedy in your life. you are a beautiful artist. you've worked very hard. you turned your life around, losing 80 pounds. >> yes. >> stephen: does it ever, do you ever get tired of being inspirational to people? ( laughter ) >> i never realized that i was really that inspirational until, you know, like-- i just like
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i don't believe in being boxed in, and i love living life, and i'm inspired by seeing other people do what they love to do, and somehow that seems to inspire others. >> stephen: yeah. >> yeah. ( cheers and applause ) but i think it's a good thing and i feel as though if i can be a role model, i would want to be a good role model, to help make a difference for somebody else, you know? >> stephen: do you ever get tired of being fit? ( applause ) because i was just talking to steve carell. and he gave in to the deep dish pizza thing. >> i gave in to the chocolate before i got here. see, that's the tricky thing with broadway, because for me, i come from the world of television. and so you always have to make sure are you eating right before you step on the red carpet or in front of the camera. but on broadway there is no camera, so i can eat a little bit more chocolate. ( laughter ) >> stephen: really, anything goes? >> cookies, yeah. >> stephen: wow. >> yeah. >> stephen: who inspires you? >> ooh, who inspires me. again, i'm just inspired by passion. passionate people. like, in what we do. everybody is a specialist in what they do.
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and i get inspired from that. and it makes me respect everybody's craft that much more. like you love what you do. so. >> stephen: i do love what i do. >> i'm interested in what you do because you love it, or a musician or a photographer, anything that you do, i think is so inspiring when you are passionate about that. if that makes any sense. ( applause ) >> stephen: it makes absolute sense. >> you know, yeah, that's what inspires me, to be more passionate about what i do, you know. yeah. >> stephen: well, in the new musical "the color purple" you play shug avery. and you said this is different, this is the most different character you have ever played. >> yeah. >> stephen: how are the two of you different? >> well, when i say she's different from me, i mean, not so much from me, but from any other role i have ever played. for the most part, everything have i done has been really heavy in a way, dramatic, emotional. never glamorous and shug is a glamour girl, honey. so that's fun to be able to explore in that way. and i do attribute part of it to my weight loss and my new
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because when they called me about playing-- being in "color purple," i was like sure, when they said shug avery, i said huh, "me as shug? she's the sex kitty, she's the flashy girl," and i am like "really?" >> stephen: i have a spoiler alert for you. this is what you look like. ( applause ) >> oh. thank you, thank you. well, i see it now. i get it now, you know. and i realized shug and i are very similar in so many ways. >> stephen: uh-huh. now, this is your broadway debut. >> it is. >> stephen: is it everything you thought it would be? like connecting with an audience, eight shows a week. >> well, with the broadway audience, you never know what to expect. but i feel like they bring the gift of the energy to the show. and it's like another character in the show. yeah, it is very different. but then there's times we never know what we are going to get. one day, somebody decided to move the props. an audience member decided to move the props.
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we're like... >> stephen: went up on stage. >> he got up, and was like this is in my way. and we have to ignore all of that. >> stephen: you know what. >> we have to keep going. >> stephen: he was showing passion. >> he was showing passion. ( laughter ) >> stephen: exactly right. >> he was passionate about seeing that show. >> stephen: you have to respect it and have security remove him. but respect it at the same time. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: well, jennifer, thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: good luck with the play. >> thank you, thank you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: now here's the thing. don't go anywhere. because we'll be right back with a performance from "the color purple." stick around. who's the rebel now? no way. yes way! savor breakfast any time you like. eggs, sizzling sausage, hot
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,,,,,,,, >> thanks again for doing this, mr. freeman. whenever ever you are ready. >> tonight on the late show stephen welcomes senator john mccain, misty copeland... >> great. >> and musical guest freeman and the moregets. >> wait, that is not our musical guest for monday. >> it is now, have i gotten a doo-wop group together and we will be performing on your show. >> i don't know about this-- i don't think we can just change it up like that. >> we can because-- i'm morgan freeman. and i'm giving you the finest voice in the land. but i didn't come cheap, home. if you want the velvet, you got
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>> all right, fine, your band can play. but can we please finish this up? >> and special guest, baseball legend ted williams. >> hold on, ted williams is dead. >> not dead. cryogenically frozen. and i want him on the show. you know what to do. >> all right, we'll figure it out. >> you bet. crispy m&m's are baaaack. what are you doing? you said to tell our fans crispy m&m's are back. not those fans! did you mean this fan? no. z(annoyed grumbles) what about that one? there's a fan in the break room, oh! and in the....(trails off)
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,,,,,,,, >> stephen: now performing "push da button" is jennifer hudson and the cast of "the color purple." >> ladies and gentlemen! i want y'all to fill your glasses up and sit your asses down. 'cause tonight at harpo's juke joint... >> where? >> harpo's! we bring y'all the finest in southern nobility! the queen honeybee! she was born right here, made it
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home to sing for y'all. >> shug avery! >> now there's somethin' 'bout good lovin' that all you ladies should know if you want to light your man on fire you gotta start it real slow keep on turning up the voltage' 'til that man begins to glow like you switchin' on a lightbulb watch the juice begin to flow now that i got your attention here's what you men need to hear you want yo lady racin' with you, you gotta get her in gear here's the key to rev her
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find the spot she loves the best. if you don't know where give her the stick, she push da button! >> push da button! >> push da button! >> push da button! >> gotta push it if you wanna come in! oh, push da button! oh push da button! if you wanna feel a train a- comin' your way, baby, push the button and pull da window shade now listen all you red hot lovers you oughta know what to do >> you oughta know what to do >> there ain't nuthin' wrong with nuthin' that's right with both of you >> that's right with both of you >> so when tonight you make yo lover cry out like a lion roar, tell the neighbors yo new
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for! push da button! >> push da button! >> push da button! gotta push it if you wanna come in! push da button push da button! give me somethin' push da button to let your baby know it ain't no sin now, if you wanna feel a train a-comin' your way baby, push the button and pull down da window shade! come on and >> push! pull! push! pull! push! pull! push! pull! >> push, pull push, pull >> push, pull push, pull push da button! push da button! push da button! push da button! push da button! gotta push it if you wanna come in!
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push da button! give me somethin' push da button! to let your baby know it ain't no sin if you wanna feel a train a- comin' your way, baby, baby, what are you gonna do? >> woo woo >> push da button! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: whoo! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: whoo! unbelievable! "the color purple" starring jennifer hudson opens december 10th on broadway.
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,,,,,,,,,, >> stephen: good night. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org reggie: are you ready, y'all to have some fun
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it's "the late late show" reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from apartment 2 c on 3rd, on avenue west, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden! [applause] [captioning funded by cbs television studios and cbs broadcasting inc] james: hello! [applause] really! good evening and welcome to "the late late show." thanks for staying up for us. we really appreciate it. thank you. cheers, guys. you're too kind! you're too kind! guys, i know why you're excited. it is because after months and months of campaigning, tonight was finally the presidential election. [laughter]
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debate. i've got to tell you, the pressure was really on donald trump because this week, i don't know if you know this, but he dropped in the polls in iowa behind dr. ben carson. so now donald trump is trailing behind a candidate who tried to stab his friend and compared obamacare to slavery. [laughter] three months ago i couldn't believe donald trump was in first place. now i can't believe he's in second. [laughter] but there is a silver lining. because donald trump won't have to worry about being in second place for much longer, because earlier this week he received america's great political minds. essentially? he should be president of the united states. that's what he should be. >> yeah. why wouldn't anybody like that? a guy who came from what he came from and is doing what he is
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is at now. james: the only acceptable time to take advice from a man with a face tattoo is if you're wondering how to hide a body. [laughter] i mean, remember, mike tyson once bit a man's ear off on national television and endorsing donald trump is the craziest thing he has ever done. [laughter] but tyson isn't the only celebrity endorsing trump. he's also been endorsed by kirstie alley, gary busey, dennis rodman, and hulk hogan, which sounds like a season of "celebrity apprentice." the truth is the celebrity endorsements are a big thing now. their own entourage of celebrity and some of them are getting big names. hillary clinton has received endorsements from beyonce, lena dunham and amy schumer.
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hillary joining taylor swift's girl squad. #squadgoals. [laughter] republican candidate mike huckabee has earned endorsements from several members of the duggar family. and that is a smart political republican voters are actually members of the duggar family. but some candidates like democratic candidate martin getting celebrities on their we here at "the late late show" are open to supporting you martin o'malley, but first we have a couple questions. question 1 -- who are you? [laughter] question. that is really the only question we have. bernie sanders has received an endorsement from justin long, "mac" in those old apple
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the endorsement meant so much to bernie, he's thinking of switching over to a mac from his current computer, a yellow legal pad. [laughter] but the truth is it's actually been a rough week for bernie because this weekend, hillary clinton received an endorsement from katy perry. there they are there. and we know that bernie sanders was really trying to get katy's endorsement. he even made a video trying to court her support. check it out. [laughter] [applause] james: he did that all himself. shall we have a look and see who our guests are on the show tonight? [applause] in the blue room, he's a brilliant oscar-winning actor, writer and director. he is just brilliant in everything he is in. the one and only billy bob
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[applause] billy bob: hi. james: are you good? yeah. i've got all of these sandwiches. james: you have sandwiches? sandwiches here. james: very specific requests from your whole team which we can see hiding everywhere in your room. thank you for being here. billy bob thornton, everybody! such a cool guy! in the orange room we have a hilarious actor/comedian from a little island called great britain. when he is there, he sells out huge arenas. he is a brilliant comedian. he is one of my dearest friends. jack whitehall is here tonight. hi, jack. are you good? jack: i missed you, buddy. james: i missed you! jack: have you been getting any of my texts?
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i've been out here. pretty much every day. no replies. 15th, no reply. 17th no reply. you didn't get out. -- that last week? james: i did not get that photo. i'm definitely not ignoring you. jack: good, good to hear it. james: jack whitehall, everybody! so much fun! this is exciting, ladies and gentlemen, because in the purple room, we have just the most brilliant actress. you know her from "the united states of tara," "21 jump street," and "trainwreck." the wonderful-- incredibly talented brie larson is here! [applause] are you good? brie: i'm good. i was about to have a shot of tequila before i come hang out with you. james: let's do it, everybody. go! go!
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[applause] brie larson, everybody! brie: bye. james: we also have some music tonight. in the red room tonight, music from one of my favorites. he is so talented. he has such a great performance planned. the phenomenal aston merrygold! how are you? aston: how are you, mate? james: very good. aston has such a cool song coming up. if you don't know the song "get stupid." everybody get stupid aston: you have to have the proper scream. james: there it is. aston merrygold, everybody. reggie, are you ready? reggie: yes. james: he's reggie watts. i'm james corden and this, this is "the late late show!" roll the titles! reggie: it's "the late late show" it's "the late late show"
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it's "the late late show" it's "the late late show" it's "the late late show" [applause] james: nice to see you. now i don't know if you guys remember. colin hanks was on the show last week. when he was here, he showed us a picture he posted on his instagram, him and reggie watts. we since found out that reggie, you're all over instagram. did you know this? reggie: no. i mean yes. james: what do you mean? is it a no or a yes? reggie: when you say you're all over it, well, i post pictures. james: no, it is not just you. other people post pictures. we thought it would be fun to go through some other instagrams - you're featured in and see how well you remember the events surrounding each picture. [laughter] and, just so the audience knows, we have not rehearsed this. have we? reggie: no.
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you. reggie: no. james: do you know who posted this picture on instagram? reggie: wowsers. james: any ideas? reggie: was it a human woman? james: opposed to the other kind? yes, it was very much a human woman reggie: i know who it is. it's sarah silverman. james: it absolutely was. she posted this. sarah wrote -- reg and i bought [blank] today but this was before that. what did you buy? reggie: sunglasses. james: yes, you did! you did! you bought sunglasses. [applause] all right. let's try another gram. here we go. this was in our greenroom right here. do you know what is the name of that man standing next to
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who posted this photo. he has the same first name as me. what is his second name? reggie: ok. so jeremy. [laughter] james: this is james harris. he is the star of a hit tv show on bravo, which is called "the million dollar what"? reggie: sandwich. james: it is not. no. "the million dollar listing." have you ever seen it? it is a real estate show, right? james: that is absolutely right. what sort of value and above do you think they are looking for houses on that show? reggie: like $300,000. james: absolutely it is. just rolls off the tongue. let's have a look at another
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this one is from your instagram account. reggie, who is that mystery celebrity? reggie: oh, of course. my other suspender wearing fellow. that is larry king. james: it is larry king. reggie: yes. james: it is not some kind of lizard creature. what do you and larry king talk about? reggie: you know what we talked about? you're going to freak out. we talked about death. [laughter] james: i might regret this. tell me more. [laughter] reggie: it was weird. we kind of talked about the possibility of death, life and death. james: you were hanging out with larry king and sarah silverman. when are we going to do some of this hanging out? reggie: we are hanging out now. james: last night reggie sent me a text.
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here. reggie sent me a text during the show that just said what are you up to? [laughter] that's why he is the best. stick around. we'll be right back with billy bob thornton, brie larson and jack whitehall! yeah, i'm married. does it matter? you'd do that for me? really? yeah i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jake from state farm. sounds like a really good deal. in the morning? who is this? it's jake from state farm. what are you wearing jake from
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uh, khakis. she sounds hideous. well, she's a guy so... another reason more people stay with state farm. get to a better state. ugh! heartburn! no one burns on my watch! try alka-seltzer heartburn reliefchews. they work fast and don't taste chalky. mmm...amazing. alka-seltzer heartburn reliefchews. enjoy the relief.
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try philips norelco shavers 72 rotating blades cutting hair growing in every direction. so you can be your best you. philips norelco save up to 50 dollars on philips norelco crispy m&m's are baaaack. what are you doing? you said to tell our fans crispy m&m's are back. not those fans! did you mean this fan? no. that one? there's a fan in the break room, oh! and in the....(trails off) so good, they're back.
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gets around so fast? take the reins this holiday and get the mercedes-benz you've always wanted during the winter event.
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,,,, james: welcome back! let's meet our guests tonight! she's the star of the incredible new movie "room." please welcome brie larson! bri larson snothesnothe james: he's hosting the bafta los angeles awards show this weekend. give it up for my friend jack whitehall!
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james: and he stars in the new film, "our brand is crisis." go wild for billy bob thornton! reggie: billy bob thornton he is a thornton he is a thornton he is a thornton he is a thornton he is a thornton brie larson whitehall larsson [applause] james: how are you? billy bob: good. james: thank you for being here. it is so lovely to see you amongst old friends and new friends. we go back a long way. jack and i have known each other a long time. jack actually attended my bachelor party.
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night. jack: we went to see a show and then we had a bit of dinner. james: are you sure you were not that drunk? i have photos. jack: why are you trying to ruin my american career before it has even started. -- started? james: i'm trying to make you look like the funky guy that you are. this is a picture of me leaving my bachelor party and this is what jack looked like leaving my bachelor party. jack: i had one wine. james: there we are. brie: are you having a burrito? james: that is a bottle of vodka. this is true. you stole this vodka. saw it. had to call the club and pay for
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it was obscenely -- jack: i remember i was so drunk. i looked in my phone. you know you get that text message from voicemail saying that you have a new message. i was so drunk i texted back voicemail saying do you want to come back to mine? i was so drunk i tried to [beep] voicemail. a threesome with siri. james: billy, you must have had a few bachelor parties in your time. yes? billy bob: i've had several marriages. [laughter] james: did you not have a bachelor party for each one of the marriages? billy bob: it was kind of all a bachelor party. [laughter] i had a bachelor party from like 1974 until about two weeks ago. james: you two are going to get along so well. you really are.
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[applause] why did you decide, if you're years. billy bob: we had been together 12 years. our daughter is 11 and we, you know we did for her really because after a while, it is like why aren't my mommy and daddy married after 12 years? you know, we just didn't want her to think it was funny and the reason i didn't want to is very short. [laughter] james: yes. billy bob: i don't like to try to fix things that are not broken. james: absolutely. billy bob: i said look, i've got a pretty bad record and we're doing fine. james: why jinx this? billy bob: but we finally did it. we did it in the front yard. james: ah. i love that.
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billy bob: there are these people that do -- the whole point is we didn't want any of those folks. they had these people now that are like ministers who are notaries or whatever the hell you have to be. they come over with a book and you sign this book and it is not public record. so we did it last october and it was completely quiet and then eventually we put it out that we were married. nobody knew about it. and in the old days, it just wasn't possible. james: if we had known each other then, would you have let me sing at the wedding? billy bob: of course. brie: it is very easy to say in hind sight. [laughter] billy bob: "war pigs" by black sabbath. jack: let me mow the yard? billy bob: i would i will let you know. james: i have a feeling about
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