tv Through the Decades CBS January 8, 2016 11:00pm-12:00am MST
not right for and no one ever cast you in it because i've got one. >> you do? >> stephen: i do. always embarrasses me. >> stephen: tell on three, we'll say ours. one, two, three -- ely eliza doolittle. >> eliza doolittle (laughter) >> >> stephen: you're like a young audrey hepburn >> a little >> stephen: if you could sing one of those songs, which one would you sing? >> isn't there one -- (humming) >> yeah. all i want is a room somewhere far away from the cold night air
oh, wouldn't it be loverly lots of chocolate for me to eat lots of coal makin' lots of heat warm face, warm hands, warm feet oh, wouldn't it be overly oh, so lovely sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely abso-bloomin'-lutely still i would never budge till spring crept over me window sill someone's headrestin' on my knee warm and tender as he can be who takes good care of me
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weeks away, and even though he's down in the polls, i'm still betting on a big comeback from my friend jeb bush. everybody keeps saying the guy is out of the race, but he's still got the money, the family name and maybe one day he'll admit it. (laughter) and i like the guy. after he appeared on my first show, and this is true, he sent me a thank you note. that is classy. thank you, jeb. plus, i think the man is just come up with a game-changing strategy to connect with voters. >> jeb bush sees himself as a joyful tortoise, at least tats what he told a teenager on the campaign trail yesterday. the presidential candidate gave the boy a toy turtle and says he carries them around in his pocket. >> stephen: which led some to ask is that a toy tortl in your pocket or are you just really bad at running running for president? (laughter) now, jeb says the turtles are a reminder that slow and steady
the tortoise that we all know who the hair is. of course! (applause) this does not address the central question about these turtles. whaaaa? >> you have a pocket full of turtles? >> i have turtles. i have the little baby jesus, my rosary beads and three turtles. >> stephen: wait... huh? you got the little baby jesus in your pocket? should he be in there? are you using your pants as a nativity scene, sir? are those the three wise turtles? but you know what? i still like them. thank you note. and he's right... slow and steady wins. now, he's got the slow and steady, two out of three ain't bad. but whoever wins, jeb or any of
going to inherit a pretty scary world. >> this earth shaking announcement from north korea that it tested a hydrogen bomb potentially hundreds of times more powerful than the nuclear weapons it tested before. >> u.s. officials say it's clear the north did test a nuclear device but doubt it's an h-bomb. >> stephen: yes we know north korea tested a nuclear device but can't be sure they have the h bomb. supreme leader kim jong un has been known to lie before, mostly to himself if he thinks he can pull off that haircut. (laughter) no, sorry... so -- so -- (laughter) there may be nothing to worry about because as one senior defense analyst wrote, kim may be claiming he achieved a hydrogen bomb when, in practice, he only has a boosted nuclear weapon. yes, only a boosted nuclear weapon! they say it like it's a better
know what that is, i'm choosing to believe they took a regular nuke and packed it with mentos and diet coke. what we know for sure is it was done in conjunction with supreme leader kim jong un's birthday. to celebrate, north koreans went into the streets and danced. it's kind of sort of sad, grey footage and there isn't any music on it so to make it more festive. we added our own music. (rap music) (cha-cha swing) >> stephen: yes! (cheers and applause) they're doing the cha-cha slide because their primitive power
but i've got a birthday message for kim jong un if he is watching and i hope he is because the network wants me to attract more 18 to 34-year-olds with disposable income and nuclear weapons. so glorious leader, here is why you should give up your dreams of developing an h-bomb -- the hydrogen bomb gets its destruction force not from fission but the fusion of atoms and helium, so when you drop this, this will be helium in the air, much as it is in this birthday balloon which i have because it's your birthday and even if you successfully launched a hydrogen bomb, all that helium would make it impossible for your glorious birthday speech to be taken
,,,,,,,, (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody! my next guest is the 2016 ted prize winner! please welcome dr. sarah parcak! (cheers and applause) okay. i am fascinated by your subject. first of all, congratulations on being the winner of the ted prize. what do you get with the ted prize? >> a million dollars. >> stephen: what! holy cow! you've got to do a ted talk about getting a million dollars. >> yes.
to the people out there what a space archeologist is. you don't do archeology in space, you use space for archeology, right? >> so think about what would happen if indiana and google earth had a love child, right. >> stephen: well, i'm thinking about it, i'm thinking about it. >> i use high resolution and n.a.s.a. satellites and look for summit differences on the surface of the earth that locate buried ancient pyramids, tombs and it allows us to pinpoint where to go from thousands of miles away. here? >> i thought you needed an indiana jones hat. >> stephen: oh, i see. that's not bad. thank you very much! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: that's awesome. aren't you putting people like indiana jones out of business?
with the bull whip and machete to no through the jungle and find things but you're using satellite imagery. >> it's like a space cat scan. the scale sin credible. we have found thousands of ancient sites in egypt and all over the world. >> stephen: let's talk about some of the impressive things you've done. you've helped locate 17 potential pyramids in egypt people didn't know were there, 31 forgotten settlements and 1,000 lost tombs around the world. so what is the actual mechanism of what you're seeing? let me give you an example of what you've done. here is a field outside of rome. >> this is just to the south of rome at an airport. >> stephen: i see nothing but you say there is something there. >> there is knotting. >> reporter: here is a satellite analyzed photosful what is there we couldn't see before?
ancient amphitheater, like where we are now. processing the satellite data and looking for subtle differences in vegetation health, which you are not able to see visibly, we're able to map about 150 across. >> stephen: is this like chemical checkcal spectrum that we can't see. >> we're looking for chlorophyll which indicate vegetation health. the stones are less healthy and we pick up the differences and the outline is clear. >> stephen: this is one of the most extraordinary things you've found. this is in egypt, i think. so this is just a bit of desert. this is just a field of sand, right? >> yep. >> stephen: but, in fact, what
because this is the same locale, and those -- (applause) you're feeling pretty good right now, aren't you? >> so what we're seeing here is the ancient site of tanis, north of cairo. >> stephen: from indiana, from raiders of the lost ark. this is where they find the thing that was lost for a thousand years wiped off the face of the earth by a vengeful god, you found tanis! (cheers and applause) honest to god, that's what this is? this is the tanis right there? >> what you're looking at is the outline of a 3,000-year-old city no one has seen and you can clearly see the outlines of buildings and city streets. >> stephen: no one's gone to
>> no one's excavated it yet. >> stephen: when you see something like the amphitheater, you know for a fact it's there. do you check? >> i love getting my hands dirty, going into the field, and that's the most fun. from space you think you're seeing something but when you get to dig on the ground you have no idea what types of objects you're going to find. >> stephen: in archeology or in lost cities or civilizations or tombs or artifacts, is there a holy grail -- i mean, obviously other than the holy grail, is there a holy grail of something like finding genghis khan's tomb, or everybody keeps saying, please look for this thing? >> what's incredible by archeologist, is every day archeologists are making new headlines. we found human ancestors in
ago. >> stephen: can you find things that old from what you're doing, from prehistoric times? >> not from millions of years ago not in caves, but certainly in the olympic settlements, from many thousands of years ago and there are millions of undiscovered archeological sites around the world. >> stephen: what's the coolest thing you have found? >> i would say that literally everywhere i look there are thousands upon thousands of sites, and i consistently surprise myself. >> stephen: so the thing that surprises you is that no matter where you point it, you see something? >> even when i'm sure, i tell my team, it's impossible, like, we're not going to find something in this place, i'm always wrong, we find things everywhere. >> stephen: so humans pretty much have put up a hut everywhere they have been. there's nowhere left on the planet where somebody hasn't been, probably. >> what's extraordinary, we have survived as a species for over 100,000 years.
the more i realize we are resilient, creative, brilliant and this is what makes us human and that has not changed since we have been human. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: well, what are you going to do with your million bucks? >> so, i will get to announce my wish to the world next month at ted. i am not an allowed to share my wish, but i can say every day we're seeing headlines with what i.s.i.l is do i think in the middle east blowing up temples and looting ancient sites and if we don't preserve and protect these sites around the world, they will be gone within a generation. so ultimately i want to figure out a way to get the world engaged with discovery and protecting these ancient sites. >> stephen: doctor, thanks so much for being here. >> thank you. >> stephen: dr. sarah parcak,
we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) sfx: rocket blasting off (ding) (dong) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) sfx: (countdown) 3, 2, 1 (ding) (ding) (ding) rocket welcome. how you doin'? thanks for coming. today you're gonna choose a mobile office to drive to a remote worksite. you can choose this chevy silverado that offers built in 4g lte wi-fi. or you can choose this ford f-150, that doesn't offer wi-fi. but to make up for it, we added a trailer, a satellite antenna, and dolores. hey fellas! technology's a little behind in here. now the silverado offers built in wi-fi with a connection that's stronger than your smart phone.
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story within a play. >> have you seen rashamon? what is this again? you are the announcer like it says on the paper. >> it doesn't need to be so cut and dried. the thing about filmmaking is i'm also a magnifying glass. >> please read the paper. we have been here six hours, almost. >> jeez, fine. let's see, tonight on "the late show," stephen welcomes robert de niro, gilbert and henry rowans. happy? >> yes! thank you!
>> they're blowing up our phones asking where we are just say we're almost there we ain't even in the car you're rolling one for two and i'm still picking out my shoes i'm never late to the party if i'm late to the party with you by the time we get there, everybody will be drunk the chairs will be on tables and the band will be unplugged we're gonna look real good, but we're gonna look real rude i'm sorry i'm not sorry that
late to the party with you oh, who needs confetti? we're already falling into the groove and who needs a crowd when you're happy at a party for two? the world can wait 'cause i'm never late to the party if i'm late to the party with you let's promise when we get in that we'll try to get right out fake a couple conversations, make the necessary rounds these kinda things just turn into "who's leaving here with who?" but i just want 'em all to see me come in late to the party with you oh, who needs confetti?
groove and who needs a crowd when you're happy at a party for two? the world can wait 'cause i'm never late to the party if i'm late to the party with you late to the party with you oh, who needs confetti? we're already falling into the groove and who needs a crowd when you're happy at a party for two? the world can wait
don't you worry 'bout your hang-ups and fears 'bout to set you right it's the late, late show. ladies and gentlemen, all the way from high wickham, england, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden! ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs >> we have a big show. we have a big show tonight. ( cheers and applause ) thank you. thank you. hello, ladies and gentlemen. thank you. welcome to "the late late show"! what's going on, ladies and gentlemen? welcome to the show! it is great to see you guys. thanks for staying up for us. today, president obama revealed that his favorite song of 2015 was "how much a dollar cost" by kendrick lamar. ( laughter
not to be outdone, hillary revealed that her favorite song of 2015 was, "whatever will get you to like me!" ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) yesterday... yesterday, the c.e.o. of yahoo gave birth to identical twins. and even they already have gmail. i read that jeb bush's super pac has spent over $50 million on his campaign. meanwhile, bernie sanders has spent over $5 on his latest haircut. ( laughter ) ( rim shot ) i wrote that. i wrote that. also -- >> james: whoa! whoa! whoa! what the -- ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) what is going on?
i have lit a scented candle. i hear the music playing. clearly, i'm not ready. reggie, why did you start the music? >> reggie: you told me to play the music. that's what we did. >> james: that's not me! that's justin bieber! ( cheers and applause ) >> reggie: you look exactly alike. >> james: thank you! >> james: that is not true. >> james: justin, why are you doing this, this has got to stop. >> james: i'm sorry man. >> it's too late to say sorry. >> what do you mean? >> james: now you're just naming your own songs! that's pathetic. what's the deal? what are you doing? >> can i be honest with you? >> james: yes. >> i really want to host my own late night show. >> james: well get your own show. this is my show. you have to back off.
i've had enough! just because you ride to work with me to work doesn't mean you can hang around in my dressing room all the time and try to steal my job. okay? >> but can i host the show just for tonight? >> james: no. no you can't. >> james: but can i at least roll the titles? >> james: no, you can't. get out! get gone! ( audience boos ) >> james: all right, fine. ( cheers and applause ) >> here it goes. here it goes. i'm justin bieber and this -- this is "the late late show."
the late, late show, oh, oh the late, late show, ooh the late, late show, oh, oh the late, late show oh, oh the late, late show ( cheers and applause ) >> he is always here. hanging around. he is a scamp. don't be fooled by it. what does he want my job for it? he has the number one album. >> reggie: he looks just like you. ( laughter ) >> james: how do not know i'm still justin bieber? >> reggie: that's what i'm saying. >> james: shall we see who our guests are tonight? ladies and gentlemen, in the purple room, he has 43 formula one grand prix victories and is one of the greatest race car drivers of our time. give it up for the reigning formula one champion, lewis hamilton is here tonight. how are you, lewis?
you? >> james: how is it going? >> lewis: happy to be here, man. >> james: i'm so happy to have you here. i'm so overjoyed to see your face. i thought i was rocking a deep v neck here. look at this guy. did you come straight from church? >> i did. >> james: thanks for being here. lewis hamilton. in the orange room is one of the busiest guys in hollywood, he hosts "talking dead," "@midnight," and "the nerdist" podcast, he is absolutely wonderful company. the emmy award-winning mr. chris hardwick is here tonight! hi, chris, how are you? how is it going? >> good. i'm in the middle of game. i'm playing animal crossing. it is very, very tense. >> james: how are you getting on? is it going well? >> well, it was. >> james: i'm sorry.
you're more important. i love you so much. >> james: i love you so much. stop it. chris hardwick! and we have some music this evening. in the red room, kentucky-bred grammy-nominated rock band. we love them. you're going to love them too. cage the elephant is here tonight! hang on. what's happening here? what's happening in here? what are cage the elephant doing? spin the bottle? oh, my god! who did it land on? we're going to stick for one cage the elephant! cheers and applause ) oh, man. fun show. in all seriousness, how great was it having justin bieber here? we love him so much. ( cheers and applause
interestingly, youtube announced this week that our "carpool karaoke" together was one of the top 10 trending videos around the globe of the year. if you watched it, thank you so much. we really appreciate it. we really, really do. speaking of youtube, check out their rewind video which celebrates their 10-year anniversary. it is a brilliant watch. you should go watch it. i'm honored to have a little cameo in it. you can watch all of it at youtube.com/rewind. talking of "carpool karaoke," i have some exciting news. ( cheers and applause ) yeah. yeah. guess who is going to bring me to work next week? ladies and gentlemen, next week i'm going to be getting a lift to work in the carpool lane with one direction! ( cheers and applause
coming down here. now if you want to find out when we're playing it, if you want to see some teases of it, go to youtube and subscribe to the "the late late show" page and you will get some sneak glimpses into that car ride. stick around. we have a great show tonight. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) boom. told ya. hey know it alls, you're welcome. now that t-mobile has double the lte coverage you can prove you're right to more people in more places. faulty fuel injector you showed him huh, still alive. told you nailed it! you're wrong, it's that way. ha, ha, ha t-mobile's new extended range lte reaches twice as far,
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,,,, cheers and applause >> james: pop culture is cyclical. things go out of fashion things come back into fashion. that's why we're doing a special holiday version of this next segment, this is "kick it out and bring it back." it back. >> james: ladies and gentlemen, the first thing we're kicking out is important.
like christmas isn't special. you know the people i'm talking about? who the hell do you think you are? oh, you aren't getting a tree? you aren't putting up lights? whoa, cool, you must be so deep and intellectual! hating christmas isn't a personality trait. you aren't interesting. you're the grinch. okay? the holidays are a time to get eating, joking and singing. and you're above all that? ( cheers and applause ) oh, you're spending your christmas seeing "the revenant" starring leonardo dicaprio? oh, you're a bag of fun! okay? either you catch the christmas spirit, or you're catching a visit from the ghost of christmas past and the ghost of christmas future, okay? if you want to act like christmas isn't special, we're kicking you out. kicking you out! just enjoy it! decking the halls with boughs of
and you know what? with that gone, we're going to bring back one of the secret weapons that makes christmas special. we are bringing back getting socks and underwear as a gift. ( cheers and applause ) now, as a child, when someone gave me socks or underwear, i would look at them and say, "what in the bloody hell are you thinking? i'm 7 years old. get me a ninja turtle or get out. and no, underwear with the ninja turtles on them doesn't count, aunt marilyn." but i'm an adult now, and i realize how badly i need socks and underwear. i haven't bought socks or underwear for myself in 15 years. i just get my re-up every christmas and pray to baby jesus that i make it through the year without too many incidents. ( laughter ) okay? that's why getting socks and underwear as a gift-- we're
>> james: make it a five pack! ok, the next thing we are kicking out and this is important to me. we are kicking out secret santa. okay? ( cheers and applause ) i knew it. i knew it. hear me out. i already buy presents for my kids, wife, my parents, her parents, my sisters, their kids, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins and my dear friends. and now i have to get linda from accounting something, too? because i pulled her name out of a bowl? if i wanted to buy you a gift, i would buy you a gift. guess what? you're getting "dawson's creek" season 2 on d.v.d. because target had it for $20, which is still $5 over the maximum spending limit, by the way. i don't know if you like it, and quite frankly, i don't care. okay? you know what? i wish secret santa was more secret. i wish secret santa was so secret i didn't know it existed.
out. >> reggie: kick it out! >> james: it is a secret that is rubbish. who did you get? not telling. >> reggie: who did you get not telling >> james: and with secret santa gone, that means we can bring back, santana. okay? you want to know why we're bringing back santana? okay? because it's just like the ocean under the moon. it's the same as the emotion that i get from you. you got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth. give me your heart, make it real. cheers and applause ) how good am i at the guitar? i've never had a lesson. did you hear that, tim?
seriously, listen! ( cheers and applause ) change pedals. change pedals. santana, we're bringing you back! come back with rob thomas. a kind of love that can be so smooth! sorry. i get carried away. don't do it that way. the next thing we're kicking out and this is a big one. we are kicking out "the 12 days of christmas." no! it's too long! it's nonsense. i don't have all damn day.
do with 11 pipers piping, let alone 12 drummers drumming? i'm not florence and the machine. ( laughter ) and never mind that between the seven swans a swimming, six geese a-laying, four calling birds, three french hens, two turtledoves and the partridge in the pear tree, you are giving me 23 different birds. now i have to take care of 23 birds? screw you, man! i'm not a farmer. i don't know what to do with these birds! now i could have used the ladies dancing and the maids a-milking, but now i'm married, and honestly they're more trouble than they're worth. so the "12 days of christmas," you're kicked out! i don't need the tree. and with that gone, we are bringing back five golden rings! okay? let's be honest. that's the only fun part to sing in that entire song. we could never kick out the rings.
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