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tv   Through the Decades  CBS  January 11, 2016 11:00pm-12:00am MST

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band and it's a lot of fun. >> stephen: i will check it >> please do. >> stephen: can i get a little kiss? >> of course! muah! >> stephen: "angel from hell" 930time thursdays, cbs! jane lynch, everybody! we'll be right back! (cheers and applause) gravity-defying... adventure-collecting... friend-connector... fortifying the going-places... off-to-the-races... day-seizing... you. you're strong. and we're here to help you stay that way. new special k nourish. multi-grain flakes with quinoa, apples, almonds and raspberries. new special k nourish. fortify. i filed my taxes online with h&r block for $9.99.
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oh really? tell us something we don't know, captain obvious. ok. with hotels.com, when you collect 10 nights you get one free. oh. so you only need to know how to count to 10 to earn a free night at places like that nudist resort. yeah i don't know how that got there. because you stayed there, took a selfie and hung it prominently on the wall. hm? hotels.com. they won't judge your life choices. the more you move the more you sweat degree's motionsense technology keeps you fresh with every move. it has unique microcapsules that contain fragrances. friction breaks the capsules... ...releasing bursts of freshness all day. whether you're meeting a deadline... ...grabbing a bite... ...or heading out for the night. motionsense, protection to keep you moving.
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,,,,,, (cheers and applause)r >> stephen: welcome back, everybody, to our continuing coverage of things that happen in mexico last week. has el chapo escaped yet? no? all right, just checking.
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is he still at large? either way, el chapo is lucky to be alive. because no less an authority than antonio vasquez, mexicani grand warlock, and yes they have those, i think it's a cabinetr position -- predicted at his annual press conference/tarot card reading that "authorities will decide to kill el chapo instead of arresting him. although in the grand warlock's defense, he could be talking about the "next" time el chapo escapes. is he gone yet? lemme know. but that wasn't the headline coming out of his tarot press conference. no! "el warlock mas grande" had a -- that means it comes with cream cheese. (laughter) "el warlock mas grande" had a
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u.s. presidential election. and notably, a mexican grand warlock is still not the weirdest thing about this election. and i paid attention, because this grand warlock "was right about the 2012 mexican presidential election, and mexico's triumph over cameroon in the 2014 world cup," and he predicted hugo chavez's death! yes, the grand warlock correctly predicted hugo chavez's death -- armed with only the knowledge that chavez had cancer and a severe respiratory infection. and this year, the grand warlock looked at his tarot cards and predicted: "two triangles of spades! trump won't really become the republican candidate. the man has countless problems. and see, here is the devil himself!" that's right! that is right!
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that's right, mexico's grand warlock says donald trump won't be the republican nominee. and this tarot card reading must be true. why else would a mexican have something negative to say about donald trump? and there's more! "and there's more! i'm certain that in december, trump will fall into a nervous crisis and will probably have to be sent to a psychiatric hospital." (cheers and applause) ladies and gentlemen... if the warlock is right, trump will soon be surrounded by mentally disturbed people. and this time not because he's hosting "celebrity apprentice." now call me crazy, but as good as he is, i don't believe a mexican grand warlock should be weighing in on our presidential candidates. we need an "american" grand
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(cheers and applause) (audience chanting) >> stephen: yes! (doorbell ringing) (laughter) >> stephen: my apologies. took a warlock a little while to get in touch with his spirit animal. (doorbell ringing) (doorbell ringing) (laughter) yes, i am the american grand warlock. i not only dabble in the dark arts, but i also dabble in the dark "crafts". look, it's the devil's name in -- macaroooooni! ooh! oh, yes! oh, yes! the devil's mother will put this on her refrigerator and she'll never have the heart to throw it awayyyyy! and when she dies, the devil will find it and say "look what she kept.
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(laughter) so let me consult my tarot cards -- a little tarot music, please, anyone. let's see what the spirit world predicts for the 2016 presidential candidates. the six of wands! after failing to get the nomination, gov. chris christie will leave politics and work in a bowling alley where he can close lanes whenever he wants. (laughter) (cheers and applause) ohhhh! spirit world is angry at my beard strap.
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yes, yes, i see another card. oh, oh! the card of blockbusting! someone crack a window. (laughter) during the rapture, mike huckabee will raise his arms to the heavens, screaming, "god, take me now!" there will then be a long awkward silence during which god will pretend to look at his cellphone. (laughter) oh, oh! the dreaded $15 itunes gift card! always a bad omen. it means the spirit world put no thought into your gift.
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three-in-one printer fax machine will be sent back from the future to try to terminate carly fiorina. ahh. >> stephen: no! baltic avenue! (laughter) i see, through the mist -- i hope it's mist -- (laughter) in a bid to get more ratings, c.n.n. will host a debate featuring seven shrieking monkeys wearing donald trump masks. (laughter) oh, yes, what are the spirits telling me now... ohhh, a "harry and the hendersons" trading card! i want to take a moment to say these actually exist, harry and the hendersons trading cards! (applause) they have the story of harry and the hendersons on the back. when this film was released, evidently they were so sure people were going to want these -- they're not
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cards. they assumed there would be a barter system, an economy based on the character of harry henderson. oh! in order to appeal to voters in his home state of florida, a shirtless marco rubio will smoke bath salts and have a chain fight in a waffle house. what's this... ooh, my cbs i.d. badge! this is only mean that stephen colbert will be forced to go to a commercial. we'll be right back with julian castro. (cheers and applause) no! no! hello, nice to meet you. melda. i'm john. we invited you here today to get your honest opinion about this new car. to keep things unbiased, we removed all the badging and logos. so, what do you think it is? i would say lexus. maybe acura. feels like a bmw.
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inside of my friend's lexus. so, this car supports apple carplay siri, open maps. nice. wow. she gets me. someone really took their time laying this out. yeah. this car also has teen driver technology. it even mutes the radio until the seatbelts are buckled. wow. my husband could use that. i'm very curious what it is. what price range would you put this car in? fifty to sixty-five. the eighty-thousand dollar bracket. well, what if i told you this is the 2016 chevy malibu? this is a malibu? yeah, let's go check it out. no way, it's a chevy! oh, wow. and it sells for? it starts at twenty-two five. \ gasp! what? oh wow. p i'm very impressed. yeah. i mean with all this technology? that's a game changer, really. i want one. i'll take the house, too. all the hard work... time in the service... community college... it matters. it's why we, at university of phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience as credits toward your degree.
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,,,, in denver for ten years. we couldn't be happier to be here or more excited about to celebrate, we got you 56 nonstop destinations.
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the ten-year anniversary is the nonstop destination anniversary. thanks for ten amazing years, denver. what can we say? we like you back. (sfx: clap, clap, ding) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome back. my next guest is the secretary of the u.s. department of housing and urban development. please welcome julian castro!"n (cheers and applause) {_iw'p >> stephen: all right, sir,
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the mayor ofiic >> that'snb right. >> stephen: now hud secretary. what is the nicest thing about being in the cabinet? do you get to go to the state of3oirow night or are you thex'dtuk theyr put happens? are you the continuity if the worst happens or can{_ you go to the speech?i the speech. >> stephen: who getsiso3 sequesterserred? >> that's thei designated survivor and we won't find out till tomorrow. >> stephen: and that person is not allowed to drink during the speech? >> i hope not. >> stephen: you won't know till the last minute. >> stephen: so it could be you and you don't know >> they've already told him her. i hope. because what if they didn't show up to work or something? are there times when the obama cabinet doesn't show to work? >> stephen: i'm taking a personal day, the country will understand. >> that's right.
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on the list, get rid of hud. what would we miss if hud were to disappear tomorrow? >> i'll give you a great example. >> stephen: we'll see if it's great. we'll see if it's great. (laughter) >> i was in san diego a few months ago, and i met a veteran who had once been homeless, who now bought and rents{_3v/ out parmr to veterans whoi>ok are homeless,*e# feet. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: he can do that without you. >> one of the reasons he's able to do that is because, between 2010 and 2015, we saw veteran homelessness{_ai decline_ii by 36% largely because of hud funding tor{_ local communitiesxdd san diego (cheers and applause) >> stephen: i just saw the big short. i just saw the bigi short. what happened to all those houses that were foreclosed% is hud involved at all with
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foreclosed on? >> we were involved in trying to get homeowners so be able to stay in their homes. in fact, one of the success stories of the administration is that over the last few years, through hud's work, through the treasure's work, we were able to ensure that more than a million folks kept their home either through modifications, refinancing. we invested in the neighborhood stabilization program, n.s.p., that helped revitalize neighborhoods, so there are a lot of folks out there, whether in florida, nevada, or throughout the country, that are in their homes because of the assistance that they got. >> stephen: now, you are not running for anything right now, right? >> i am not. >> stephen: you sound a little bit like you're running for something right now. >> it's hard to get it out of your system. >> stephen: you're a very good politician, so is your brother joaquin. you are twins. do you ever pretend to be each
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does he ever show up to the cabinet meetings so you can have a dayoff, this day off you cabinet people have all the time? >> i don't think i could stand five minutes in congress. he is. >> stephen: he's the younger brother? >> he is. we cannot impersonate each other because he said everybody would be able to tell because i'm so much uglier than he is. >> stephen: that's spoken like >> yes. >> stephen: someone who finds you attractive on a certain level is hillary clinton because she has floated your name when asked if she got the nomination who would she consider as president, she said, well, certainly julian castro would be someone we would consider, and there are rumors you're in vice president training camp. what does that involve other than staying awake behind someone giving state of the union address?
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tell me this -- how likely is it that -- you know, have you been asked or is there any likelihood or new truth to the rumors that she would approach you on a scale of one to stephen that's flattering to even be mentioned but i have to concentrate on the job i'm doing right now? >> stephen, it's flattering to even be mentioned, but i've got to concentrate on the job that i'm doing. >> stephen: so she asked. she's already talked to you about it. (applause) >> no, not at all. not at all. >> stephen: now, you understand you are of hispanic origin but you're second generation. you didn't grow up speaking spanish. >> i did not. i grew up postally with my mother and grandmother. my grandmother would speak spanish around the the home but i never became fluent. >> stephen: are you taking lessons because if you were to, say, run for a national office, it might be nice to speak a little spanish on the campaign trail.
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>> why not? the library. >> stephen: right. the heart. >> stephen: right, exactly. you are the vice president. >> stephen:, i'm sorry, it says "i am the vice president." you've got to work on that one. >> i got that wrong. it's the spanish i'm still working on. >> stephen: yeah you really do. you really do. (laughter) julian castro, thank you so much for being here. secretary of housing and urban development, julian castro, everybody! who knows what he'll do next! we'll be right back! cheerpd (cheers and applause) to those who deliver dinner... and get dinner delivered. to those caked in flour... coated in dust... even covered in lava. to those who are
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,,,,,,,, >> stephen: here to perform "return to the moon" off their album of the same name, ladies and gentlemen, el vy. >>
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leg of a cricket and i got triple jesus. cashed it in for a siamese twin at the family firing range. went to bed and woke up inside another man's head nobody noticed. i'm so excited the senator's a fighter don't tell me nothing's changed. return to the moon i'm dying. return to the moon please. >> bought a saltwater fish from a colorblind witch '
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couldn't tell her the part that would break her heart but it loved me. she said i think you're getting too far from your family's house to find it. you should know if you're running away and i touch you you freeze. return to the moon i'm dying. return to the moon please. return to the moon i'm dying. return to the moon
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>> don't make me wait for you at the corner of eden park. don't make me wait for you at the serpentine wall. wish i could have been there when you were driving away for california if you've got to go somewhere then you better go somewhere far. did you really think i could ever go on without you i'm not a genius. i imagine myself being cool in the backseat of your car. return to the moon i'm dying. return to the moon
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return to the moon i'm dying. return to the moon please. >> don't make me wait for you at the corner of eden park. don't make me wait for you at the serpentine wall. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: their debut album is called "return to the moon!" el vy, everyone! we'll be right back with another
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stick around!,,,, my neighbor says we can get gig internet speed from centurylink. if i had a gig, how long would it take to download an hd movie? about the time it takes me to eat a cookie. oh, that's really fast. centurylink is rolling out 1 gig internet service near you. call to check for availability. let's download the sequel.
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>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be the star of "brooklyn", saoirse ronan, yelp ceo, jeremy stoppelman, directors of "making a murderer", laura ricciardi and moira demmos, and a musical performace by james bay. but before we go, in honor of the great david bowie, a special performance by our musical
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let's dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues let's dance, to the song they're playin' on the radio let's sway, while color lights up your face let's sway, sway through the crowd to an
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if you say run, i'll run with you and if you say hide, we'll hide because my love for you would break my heart in two if you should fall into my arms and tremble like a flower let's dance >> reggie: are you ready to have some fun feel the love tonight
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don't worry about where you come from it's the "late, late show" . >> ladies and gentlemen, all the way from u.k., give it up for your host, the one, the only, james corden! (cheers and applause) >> james: hello! nice to see you! thank you very much. cheers. thanks, guys. hello, welcome to the "late, late show." thanks for sticking up for us. we really appreciate it. thank you very much! (cheers and applause). >> james: thanks for coming out, guys. your enthusiasm is wonderful because let's be honest, some of us had to change our plans today. we all had to go to work this morning because none of us won
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nobody has won the powerball lottery since november. and the jackpot is now sitting at 1.4 billion dollars. billion. that's almost three days worth of groceries from whole foods. (laughter) so i mean, you know, some people say they wouldn't change if they won that much money. i'm telling you right now, i would absolutely change. (laughter) i would have a ferris wheel in my garden. i would have a pet cham pan gleerks i would buy the el fabt man's bones. i would be michael jackson. i'm just saying, i would be michael jackson. the truth s the odds of you winning are 290 million to one. that means are you about as likely to win the powerball as you are to ever hear the words president jeb bush. (laughter) what? it's true. (cheers and applause).
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i can't vote. now one man who has big plans for the money should he win is this guy. >> do you know your chances of winning? >> slim to none. >> slim to none, you're right, one out of 292 million. what do you think about that. >> i knew it. >> you knew it. you're never that lucky. >> i hope so. >> can i ask you, if you won all the money what would you do it with it. >> a bunch of hookers and cocaine. (applause). >> james: i think he's being a bit redundant, because honestly, if you spent the 1.4 billion on cocaine, trust me, the hookers will find you. (laughter) if this guy really does win the powerball, the powerball, he might want to spend his money on the playboy mansion which is just been put up for sale for $200 million dollars. yeah. that's right. you could own the house that was recently named the stickiest mansion in america.
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but one crazy detail, and i'm not making this up, right, is that hugh hefner comes with the house. and when i say comes with-- oh, come on, oh, no, no, no, no. no! i will not allow it. we are not that sort of show. you're better than that. because when i say-- by saying he comes with the house, what we mean is according to the deal, hugh hefner must be granted residence on the property for as long as he lives. yeah, that means if you buy the playboy mansion, you could be living with hugh hefner all the way through february. (laughter) but i bet touring the place gets monday olt news, you know what i mean, this is the master bedroom, this is where the magic happens, this is the kitchen. this is where the magic happens. this is the magic room, we do laundry in here. (laughter)
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our guests are on the show tonight? we have a packed show. in the orange room, emmy-nominated actress you love from "new girl." she's also a grammy-nominated mus ig. the ever delightful zooey deschanel. is here tontd! hey, zooey, how are you? >> i'm great. i forgot you were coming to the door. >> james: you forgot we were coming to the door. >> i did. >> james: that's all right. >> it's messy. >> james: so you know, this is literally every conversation i have ever had with a woman when i knocked on her door. this is new to you, not new to me. thank you for being here, zooey deschanel, everybody. (cheers and applause) and in the purple room tonight, he is an oscar-nominated actor. you know him from movies like "pulp fiction," "rob roy" and tarantino's latest "the hateful eight," we are so thrilled he is here. the incredibly talented mr. tim roth is with us tonight. (cheers and applause)
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>> james: you good? >> yeah, yeah, good. >> james: you sure. >> yeah, yeah, everything is good. >> james: seem a bit shady. >> no worries, no worries. >> james: i mean no one. >> no, i feel good, i feel good! >> james: no one has ever opened the door. >> yeah, all right, see you later. >> james: yeah, sure, cool. that is the most london anyone's ever opened the door ever, isn't it. it's all good, mate. see you later. tim roth, everybody! (cheers and applause). >> james: and in the blue room tonight, he's an oscar-winning, acting icon, one of the most recognizable voices on the planet. what a joy to be spending the evening with mr. morgan freeman! (cheers and applause). >> james: everybody! listen to that. morgan, such a pleasure to have you on the show. >> hello, james. it's great to be here. >> james: right, is it frozen? is there a problem with the
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>> no, james. (laughter) i'm morgan freeman. and when i communicate i usually do so through deep, wavy and profound voiceover. >> james: it's amazing. incredible that we can actually hear morgan freeman's inner thoughts. >> not exactly, james. you can hear my voiceover voice. this is where the vy braitions of my warm, soothing baritone voiceover adds a certain graphity to an otherwise fleeting and ephemeral moment. >> james: well, what is the difference? what are your inner thoughts? >> do i have milk in the fridge? i'm not sure. i think i should pick some up on the way home. >> james: i can see the difference. listen, we cannot wait for you to come down here on the couch. we really can't. >> do i really need to? >> james: well, what do you mean, do you really need to. do you need to come down on the couch, yeah, yeah, you do. >> sorry.
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>> james: right. >> can't wait to come down there and meet you. >> james: we can't wait either, morgan freeman! everybody, all right. are you ready to did >> james: he's reggie watts, i'm james corden, and this-- this is the "late, late show!" ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs the late, late show, oh, oh the late, late show, ooh the late, late show, oh, oh the late, late show oh, oh the late, late show >> james: thank you, thanks for being here. now guys, i have some exciting news to share with you. we have a brand new car pool karaoke coming out on wednesday, okay. now listen, i know, you think you're excited now.
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was back in england for the holidays. i ran into a friend, take a look at this. >> hello? it's me. i was wondering if after all these years you would like to meet. hello from the outside. (cheers and applause) hello from the outside at least i. >> loving this, bob. >> oh, thanks. i'm going to use me hairline. i can't work out if i should wear a wig wig or have a weave. >> james: i mean what i like is you are coming to me for this advice. rolling in the deep
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you had my heart and soul in your hand and you play it to the beat (cheers and applause). >> james: here on wednesday night, be sure to be here to catch it first. now however exciting that is, this is exciting, guys, because we're going to play a game now that reviewers will know, we've tried to play it before on the show, haven't we, reg. there have been various problems. we've had trouble in the past, is the truth. but its' a new year, a clean slate. we're going to forget all about that. we've rehearsed it. we've rehearsed it and with renewed optimism, we are finally going to get this right. so as you know, the weekend was the golden gloabs and wherever you find a celebrity, you will find a celebrity nose. i think you know what i'm trying
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you smell a good time, it's celeb right noses golden globes edition. (cheers and applause) celebrity noses all right >> james: okay, so let's start. now every celebrity-- celebrity-- dnt have-- also night-- but. >> microphone is not working. >> james: sorry? >> microphone is not working. >> james: what-- what-- what do you mean? >> the microphone is not working. >> james: this one? schemes fine to me what is the problem. >> your microphone is not working. >> james: right, okay. well, what-- what is the problem? >> i was leaning on a button. >> james: well-- what button? >> a sound button. i was leaning on a sound button. >> james: okay, look, never mind it wouldn't be celebrity noses if there wasn't a glitch. so it doesn't matter.
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so every celebrity has got a nose. and a lot of celebrity this weekend. >> really sorry about that. >> james: i know are you sorry. >> absolutely won happen again. i take full responsibility. my bad, i won lean on the button. >> james: it's gone, we've forgot enabout it. >> okay, my apologies. >> james: i'm not going to get annoyed. >> okay, ready to go. >> james: i'm ready! (laughter). >> james: what i'm saying is i smell a good time. you smell a good time, it's time for celebrity noses. golden globes edition. (cheers and applause) reggie's microphone wasn't working there, reggie, is your-- is your mic okay s it all right. >> reggie: check, one two, one two. >> james: but it wasn't working then. >> reggie: it's good now, i think. >> james: what happened in the-- right, well you-- were you leaning on the button again, is that? >> yes. >> james: okay, well, look, is it all working? doesn't even matter, we are not going to do
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out of time. so we're going to crack on-- i won't even dot rickey gervais song, i will do the gerard depardieu it is the best joke. he wasn't at the golden globes but-- what, what is that? (laughter). >> james: what is going on now? >> the lights have gone out. >> james: i can see that the lights have gone out. but-- you can even see me. >> yeah, the lights have gone out. >> james: i know that the lights have gone out. i am saying, can you see me? is it-- how-- what has happened? >> power outage. j no, but i can hear you. and that's-- and my microphone is working so how it can be a power outage if i can hear you? >> separate generators. (laughter). >> james: i don't even know what that means. what does. >> separate generators jdz but what separate generators, what is that? >> it means we have two different generators. >> james: doesn't matter, i have my phone, i will not, not-- you can see me now. can everyone see me? okay. so let me get-- problem s you need to see me and the nose for
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so right, okay. now everyone has got a nose, now gerard depardieu wasn't at the golden globes how much he has been before. and he-- right, okay. >> lights are back on now. >> james: i can see that the lights are back on! you don't need to tell me. >> you have lights and sound now. >> james: i know we've got lights and sound. all right. so just going to focus on gerard depardieu. >> running out of time, running out of time. >> james: gerard depardieu. >> wrap it up, james. >> james: i'm not going to wrap-- i can't believe this. >> music. [bleep] celebrity noses celebrity noses noses of celebrities celebrity noses denny's grand slam slugger, part
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denny's. welcome to america's diner. i'm here at my house, on thanksgiving day and i have a massive heart attack right in my driveway. the doctor put me on a bayer aspirin regimen. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. go talk to your doctor. you're not indestructible anymore. hello, nice to meet you. melda. i'm john. we invited you here today to get your honest opinion about this new car. to keep things unbiased, we removed all the badging and logos. so, what do you think it is? i would say lexus. maybe acura. feels like a bmw. let's look at the interior. reminds me of the inside of my friend's lexus. so, this car supports apple carplay siri, open maps. nice. wow. she gets me. someone really took their time laying this out. yeah. this car also has teen driver technology. it even mutes the radio until the seatbelts are buckled. wow. my husband could use that. i'm very curious what it is. what price range would you put this car in? fifty to sixty-five. the eighty-thousand
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this is the 2016 chevy malibu? this is a malibu? yeah, let's go check it out. no way, it's a chevy! oh, wow. and it sells for? it starts at twenty-two five. \ gasp! what? oh wow. p i'm very impressed. yeah. i mean with all this technology? that's a game changer, really. i want one. i'll take the house, too. recently we've noticed some ads created by these two birds, inviting you to stay away from the streak free shine of windex. well dear windex users these ads are false. sfx: squeaks from window cleaning clean glass is better than dirty
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i love it. i really do. introducing prism tv from centurylink. with all your favorite channels, plus features like whole-home dvr and a wireless set-top box, it's the tv you love whenever and wherever you want it. prism tv from centurylink. see what everyone's talking about at seeprismtv.com. celebrity noses celebrity noses (cheers and applause). >> james: it's a slaim. it's a shame, it's a shame when it happens, isn't it, reg, it's a shame. >> reggie: i was disappointed. >> james: i'm completely bummed by t i'm absolutely gutted by it. it's time for emoji news. all right. this is how the game works. i will show you a new news story written only in emojis and are
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think that news story is about. so who here thinks they know their emojis, anyone. (cheers and applause). >> james: let me move among you. let's have a look. who witch's got here. this guy, this guy, okay. how are you sir. >> i'm good. >> james: are you doing a very big double-armed signal. >> i love emoji news and i think can i get it. >> james: do you what is your name. >> i'm fred. >> james: lovely to meet you. okay, so take a look at this. where are you come from. >> i'm local, i live her. >> james: you are local, like local within how many. >> bur bank. >> james: bur bank, so what is that, 25, 20 minutes. >> yeah, half hour, no traffic. afternoon, sure, what are you doing after? >> james: what are you doing after, want to catch a drink. >> i would love to. >> james: where should we go, where is your spot? >> you don't have a place here. >> james: well, i have a budweiser bar under there.
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>> james: when i said drink, you know what i meant. so this news story, have a look, and tell me what you think this could be. >> well, man, we know what the eggplant is. >> james: do we, for anyone at home what does it mean, fred. >> well, if you wamped this show you know the eggplant is a penis. >> james: this is true. there is a knife and a man. >> james: our show didn't name t just to be clear. we would love to take credit but we can't. so yeah. >> but that is how i learned what if is. >> james: yeah. >> sure you did. yeah. >> that's my story. >> james: no one believes you. good one. >> so someone cut off an eggplant. >> james: yes. >> and now can't have kids. i feel like we've heard that story before. >> james: do we? >> like decades ago. >> james: oh, sure that isn't the story. can i tell you what it is. are you pretty much right up until the last bit.
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chopped off his own penis, i know, a woman just went oh. imagine how we feel. (laughter) so a kenyan man chopped off his own penis to protest because he was being turned down by a woman he was trying to date. >> wow. >> james: i know. i tell you what you would say about that guy. he's got a lot of balls. (laughter). >> james: thank you for playing, fred. are you a lovely man. have a seat. anyone else. want to play. you want to play? really? come here. come downg here for me, sir. >> all right. >> james: what is your name. >> my name is trace. >> james: you don't have to make me look that short. >> sorry, sorry. there we go. >> james: if i go like this. >> perfect. >> james: so where are you from, trace? >> san francisco bay area. >> james: good name, trace. is that actually the name. >> yes.
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>> james: nice, you sound like you should be like a spy. >> i am. >> james: shut up! >> i'm a spy. >> james: then a spy would do that kind of double block. >> yeah. >> james: just give me a sign. >> all right, all right. >> james: are you here trying to sell the -- so trace, trace, have a look at this news story, tell me what you think this could be. >> it looks like a man, a flash light, like a building, a light house. >> james: say what you see, trace. >> so i see a man and then a flash light and a building with like a light house type of thing and three other guys. >> james: we can all see t i mean what do you think the news story is. >> i'm working it out. >> james: we all know the answer as to whether trace is a spy or not. >> i'm just working it out in my mind. so i am going to say that a guy tried to like break into a
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flash light, and then tried to
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