tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 5, 2015 10:35pm-11:37pm CST
and now, abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight hillary clinton. bob odenkirk & david cross. with cleto and the cletones. and no, now, till the end of the program, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. very nice. i'm glad you're with us. we have quite a show tonight. we have a show tonight that
could very well alter the course of american history. a woman who could very well be the next president of united states, hillary clinton is here with us tonight. meanwhile, we'll be touching on all the big topics. the economy, climate change, isis, whether khloe should take lamar back, everything. the secret service swept our building today, which is good, it was filthy. you know, the secret service really wanted to blend in around here, they'd wear dirty spider-man costumes. everyone around our office has been looking forward to mrs. clinton's visit this week. especially our own guillermo, who really dressed up for the occasion. [ cheers and applause ] you know that's a dated reference, right? mrs. clinton doesn't wear pantsuits, she weared tailored separates. >> guillermo: okay, all right.
>> jimmy: i know what the idea was but you look more like tony montana. you look like tiny montana in that outfit. >> guillermo: yeah, a little. >> jimmy: in any event, you look mui caliente, guillermo. hillary clinton is here. from the new show "with bob and david," the very funny bob odenkirk and david cross are here. bob and david are getting an extra cavity search right now. this is the most interesting race for president we've had in a long time. a new quinnipiac university poll came out yesterday. they have donald trump back on top of ben carson 24% to 23%. and jeb bush is now down to only 4%. more people picked bit o' honey as their favorite halloween candy than support jeb bush for president. some of his donors are concerned but jeb told him, "all the nervous nellys on the call, chill out." you know what would make me a
nervous nelly? the fact that the guy i gave money to in 2015 is still using the phrase nervous nelly. jeb said it's going to be a fun campaign. well, you can see jeb does appear to be having a lot of fun with this campaign. he also promised donors he'll get better at debating. and that he's working very hard right now, he's working very hard trying to learn how to put on a hoodie. yeah. poor jeb. it's not like anyone told him he was the smart one in the family. now he can't even work a zipper. meanwhile donald trump put out his first paid campaign ads today. he bought them himself. you know he doesn't take money from super pacs. he earns it the old-fashioned way, by selling cologne at rite aid. trump relowed two radio ads. he voices one of them. he says, i'll make our military so strong, no country will ever mess with us.
don't we have a nuclear bomb, by the way? couldn't we end everything if we wanted to? yet other countries are still finding ways to mess with us. the funny thing is going to be when people are listening to the radio, have to turn the volume all way up to hear ben carson's commercials, then a donald trump commercial comes on, it's like aahh! hillary clinton, her competition on the democrat side, bernie sanders introduced a pill to the senate that would end the federal ban on marijuana. it's a move that will obviously appeal to young voters. he's promising pot in every pot. and some states have legalized marijuana but it's still banned at the federal level. the bill would remove marijuana from the dea's most dangerous drugs list and leave it to the individual states to decide whether they want to legalize it or not. bernie sanders is the senator from vermont. now he wants to legalize marijuana. sounds like somebody might be in the pockets of ben and jerry here. a lot of ice cream at stake. so while jeb bush is telling
sanders actually trying to help them do that. big part of being president as far as i can tell is trying to set a positive tone. kind of the head cheer leader of the country. have to speak at events, rallies, meet all the winning teams. president obama has found a way to do that consistently using different variations of one simple word. the word "hey." >> give it up to the mls champs sporting kansas city, hey! nascar sprint cup champion, hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so president obama now has just over a year left in office. of course he's our first african-american pet. hillary clinton if elect wood
become our first female president. she would also be by the way our first president with the middle name diane. we've had a delano, never had a diane, isn't that something. carly fiorina is looking for that historic spot. i think it would be great to have a woman president. for one thing we could pay her 23% less. that's what we do, right? over four years that saves us like a hundred grand! old biases are hard to shake. our best hope for equality is our next generation. children, really, children are our future, whether we like it or not. i wondered if they might have a more even-handed take on this kind of discrimination. things have changed a lot over the last 30 years. i assembled a small group of young kids to sit down for a little chat about gender and politics. hello young people, how you doing? i'm jimmy. >> good. >> jimmy: nice to meet you, nice
to meet you, nice to meet you, nice to meet you. let's see, we have sydney, jaden, belle, andrew. some of you are boys, some of you are girls? >> yeah. >> jimmy: which one is which? >> i'm a girl. >> jimmy: you're a girl? >> boy. >> jimmy: boy? >> girl. >> i'm a boy. >> jimmy: good, glad we established that. who's the president? >> arock obama. >> jimmy: who? >> arock obama. >> jimmy: that's right, how long has arockn president? >> two years? >> jimmy: two years? maybe a little longer than that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: coming up on seven years, actually. which means it's time for a new president. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: name some women who have been president of the united states. >> i don't know. >> i don't know. >> i think women are not presidents. >> jimmy: you think women are not presidents? >> yeah. >> me too. >> they're too girlie. they make like girl rules. >> jimmy: too girlie, like kind
>> free makeup in the world. >> probably like they'd break the white house -- >> jimmy: you're saying that -- >> decorate. >> jimmy: a woman who is president will decorate -- >> make it all girlie. >> jimmy: the white house? >> yes. >> jimmy: too girlie? >> uh-huh. >> they might even paint it pink. >> i agree with him. >> jimmy: do you think that women could do anything men can do? >> no. >> yes. >> yeah. >> no. >> they're too weak. >> no, no -- >> they don't have muscles. like barely. >> jimmy: you think men are physically stronger. but are women smarter than men? >> no. >> yes! >> jimmy: do you think we should have a lady president? >> yes. >> no. >> yes. >> no. >> jimmy: you say yes, you say no, you say yes, you say no. why do you say yes? >> because there hasn't been a girl president. >> jimmy: uh-huh, that's right. jaden, why do you say no? >> because girls are too girlie and boys are too buff to have
girl stuff. >> jimmy: boys are too buff? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> like a six pack. >> jimmy: right. like mine, like me, for instance. you guys want to see my six pack? >> yeah. >> you look like a monkey. >> jimmy: i'm pretty buff, right? >> you're pretty fat. >> jimmy: what do you mean i'm pretty fat? >> i have bigger six packs. >> you have a six pack? >> i have a six pack. >> jimmy: this is humiliating already. i'm being bullied here at my own table. how would a woman president do if there was a war, if we had a war? >> oh. >> oh. >> she would -- she would lose before the other team lose. >> jimmy: she would lose? >> yeah. >> jimmy: why do you say that? >> like the -- so it's like girls versus men, i bet the men will win. >> jimmy: i'm not talking about actually being out there fighting the war.
being president and commanding the troops. >> oh, i think i know. >> jimmy: what do you think? >> i think if there's a war he would probably make it stop. so people could be more healthy. and they won't die. >> jimmy: interesting. what do you think about that, jaden? >> i'll say the president would be like, we'll be scared, she'll be -- >> jimmy: belle, are you and sydney getting mad about this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: tell him what you think, tell him why you don't think that's right. >> i think women are stronger than you. >> yeah. >> i knew two girls, easy. >> jimmy: i'm imagining you in the future right now. what would i have to do to convince you guys that there are women that could be president and might very well be president of the united states? so i'd like you guys to meet somebody. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: all right. i have a special person that's
here to speak to you. >> okay. >> jimmy: kids, i would like you to meet this person. [ cheers and applause ] i'm not going to tell you who she is. hello, hello. >> hello. >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm excellent. >> jimmy: do you know who this is? >> hillary clinton! >> hillary clinton! >> jimmy: wow. >> i'm really happy to meet you. >> jimmy: how did you know that? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: did you know, jaden? >> no! i heard them. >> jimmy: you heard them, he's been very, very honest throughout this. >> are you president now? >> jimmy: i'm running to be the president. >> is it hard? >> jimmy: it's really >> it's really hard. >> jimmy: you get an opportunity to ask someone who could very well be our president for something. what do you want to see happen in this country? do you have a request? about what would you like mrs. clinton to do if she becomes president? >> so like she can make up a law like for people to have free food in restaurants. >> jimmy: free food in restaurants? >> i'm going to write these down.
>> jimmy: yes, that's probably a good idea. >> so i can remember what you said. free food in restaurants. okay. >> jimmy: what would you like? >> i want you, if you go to a store and you have to buy something, i want it to be free. >> really? free food from the restaurants and free -- >> like toys. >> like toys, free stuff at stores? >> jimmy: these kids are looking for handouts. >> yeah. >> jimmy: jaden what do you think? >> no school. >> no school ever? >> no. >> for your whole life? >> not even -- not even once. >> so that's an interesting idea, jimmy. how are you going to learn what you might need to learn to get a job when you grow up? >> oh i got that. i'll teach myself. because i'm very, very smart. >> jimmy: a smart question. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: so do you think now that a woman could be president?
>> uh -- >> jimmy: he's so torn. >> well, you know, we haven't had a woman to be president yet. so we need to have a woman to be president and then you would have more evidence to base your decision on. >> jimmy: you see? going to try it out, got to try new things, right? thank you, mrs. clinton. i think you've been very illuminating for these young people. and do you guys feel like you learned something? >> yes. >> no. >> jimmy: no? >> i think i did a lot. >> i had two brothers, i kind of get all of this. >> jimmy: let's go outside and run around what do you say? >> yes! >> good idea. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks, kids. thanks to hillary clinton. she'll be here to chat with us in a few moments. we have to take a break. when we come back, episode 2 of our star-studded teen melodrama "scandal high" starring kerry washington and all your favorites from "scandal."
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, gang. welcome back. hillary clinton and bob odenkirk and david cross or the way. first, as many of you witnessed earlier tonight on angstbc, we had a new episode of "scandal," a very popular show now but shonda rhimes, creator of the show, originally conceived it as a teen-oriented drama. they only shot four episodes of the teen drama, they never aired till we got ahold of them. we premiered first episode. i'm delighted beyond word to present episode 2 of "scandal high." >> previously on "scandal high." >> hey. >> hey. >> i'm openly gay. >> i'm gay too.
>> no! good day to you >> it's election season at scandal high. and with no one else on the playing field, hunter ulysses whitman thought he had the game in the bag. >> vote for me, save a tree. >> vote for me, save a tree. >> until an unexpected interception. >> vote for me, save a tree. >> but this is a tree. >> just -- vote for me, save a tree. >> that's your slogan? >> that's your haircut? burn. >> winning the race wouldn't be easy for crystal. >> vote for crystal! >> but she had a secret weapon in her locally sourced, biodegradable hemp backpack. campaign manager and school
>> you vote for crystal, i'll tell everybody you diarrhea'd in your gym shorts. >> you can't see anything. >> but i can smell everything. who are you going to vote for? >> crystal. >> i got that. >> things were a lot friendlier inside the classroom where one student was trying her best to earn some sex-tra credit. >> okay, everyone, pen sills out. >> oh, i want to take your pencil out. >> pop quiz. >> oh, i want you to pop my quiz. >> one more word and i flunk you. >> oh, flunk me, flunk me so hard! >> courtney was craving more attention. >> who did this! >> principal powers was begging for laughs. >> turtle fornicator! >> i can't believe this.
>> hey, computer geek. i want you to bring me the head of the student that put my head on that turtle. >> isn't that a bit dramatic? >> no. >> the best hackers can always find a scandal source. and this one came from crystal's cell. >> crystal. >> it wasn't me! i didn't post them! >> i don't believe you. come on, let's go. clean that out. get out. >> with crass tall's campaign breaking down in the compost heap, there was now fertile ground for two new hopefuls to sprout. >> hey! chill out >> next time on "scandal high" -- >> hey. >> hey. >> hello. >> are you homosexual now? >> more than ever.
>> jimmy: episode 3 of "scandal high" next week. tonight on the show, bob odenkirk and david cross are here and be right back with hillary clinton, so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by hallmark channel's "countdown to christmas" with new movies premiering every saturday and sunday at 8:00, 7:00 central. isn't it beautiful
tonight on the show, two extraordinarily funny men from the new sketch comedy show "with bob and david" on netflix. bob odenkirk and david cross are here. next week on the show - we have a good week. julia roberts will be with us, as will ty burrell, anthony anderson, rob lowe, lake bell, from "agents of shield" adrianne palicki - we will have music from chris cornell, future, dave gahan and soulsavers - and mash-up monday returns where we mix two bands up. joss stone and temple pilots will be here to form joss stone temple pilots. our first guest tonight has been an attorney, a law professor, the first lady, the senator of new york, secretary of state - the woman can't hold onto a job. but she is hoping to be the next president of the united states -
>> jimmy: thank you very much for coming. it's great to have you here. >> it's terrific. where is guillermo? >> jimmy: guillermo's right there. >> good look. >> guillermo: thank you very much. >> jimmy: is that something you'd ever consider wearing? >> i did. many years ago. >> jimmy: you've had a busy day, i know you've been doing meet and greets and fund-raisers. >> right. >> jimmy: brunches and that sort of thing. >> all that, yes. >> jimmy: it seems -- is that fun? it seems -- meeting rich people seems like the worst way to spend the day to me. >> you meet all kinds of people. and so for me it's actually an opportunity to thank people who are supporting my campaign and to exchange a few words with them, to talk with them, answer their questions. so it's not -- it's never the same. different groups have different interests. so i find it actually helpful. >> jimmy: then you pretend to care about their interests and whatnot?
>> you know, sometimes it's a little harder than other times. but most of the times that people come to see me, they actually have something really good to tell me or ask me. >> jimmy: do you ever get to eat at these things? >> no. >> jimmy: nothing? >> no. >> jimmy: do you ever drink at them? when is the last time you've been good and hammered? you know what i mean? >> a long time ago. >> jimmy: a long time ago? >> a long time ago, yeah. i have to get up too early, you know? i've got to get to work, i've got to do what i'm trying to accomplish. >> jimmy: i understand. it wouldn't befit you to do something like that. >> at least not in public. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i have something i want to ask you about, i know you love talking about the e-mails. >> oh, yes, absolutely. >> jimmy: but this is a little different. i think just for me it's interesting to see what your e-mails are about. i mean, i love to go through all your stuff by the way at some point. >> any time, come over. we'll put it out there. >> jimmy: i'd like to rummage. one of the e-mails you sent an e-mail to someone saying you
were secretary of state, trying to call the white house, the operator didn't believe it was you and wouldn't put you through. >> yeah. that's the kind of stuff you can find in my e-mails. it's pretty much ordinary, everyday activities. and i was trying to call the white house and -- i've called the white house before. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so the operator says to me, who is this? i tell her. no, who is this? i said, no, it really is, it's me. hi, it's me. she goes, what's your office line? i said, well, i don't know. i don't call myself. i have no idea. bang. >> jimmy: hung up on you? >> hung up on me, thought i was a crank caller. >> jimmy: does that person get beheaded or promoted? >> no, no, i just had to take a deep breath and go back to my e-mails. >> i saw you live tweeting the republican debate. >> yes. >> jimmy: is that a fun thing for you to do? >> well, it's a combination of being appalled and being amused.
so it's kind of a little bit of both. >> jimmy: when you're appalled and amused did you see anything -- did you see anyone that impressed you in any way while you were watching that debate? there were like 40 people up there. >> yeah, a big group. well, i disagree with a lot of what they say and how they go about it. i mean, obviously they have every right to run for president. and they're going to be out there making their case. but i just wish they would actually address the real problems that americans face. you know, how do we make college more affordable? how do you get the debt that kids have built up down so that they can afford to get on with their lives? how do you get the costs of prescription drugs down? i just wish that they would talk about at least what people are asking me about. >> jimmy: more college students bothered to vote, their needs would be met. >> that's true, that's true. >> jimmy: do you feel at all sorry for jeb bush? >> you know, look, he's a very accomplished man.
he is out there making his case. running for president's really hard. >> jimmy: yeah. and he's showing that, yes. >> let me break to it you, it's really hard. you know, some days are better than other days. i know that from personal experience. so i just don't pay a lot of attention to what's going on on the other side. i've got so much going on with my own campaign. and i'm going to wait till they decide who emerges. >> you must know -- i assume you figured you would have guessed you'd be running against him. when he comes out with a slogan like "jeb can fix it" do you guys back at the office die laughing? [ laughter ] is that amusing to you? >> you know, look. [ laughter ] it's really hard to do this. you know, people's campaigns change. you start with something, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll stick with it all the way because you get feed pack. he's obviously trying to continue to relate to the republican electorate -- >> jimmy: sounds like he's
should be on the side of a van. >> you know, if i were to advise him i'd say, you know, there's a lot you can do about trying to fix things and maybe they should put a number on the side of the bus. >> jimmy: that would be nice. >> for people to call. >> jimmy: toll-free number. >> like me calling the white house they'd say, what, wait, what do you mean, i don't know if i can get that plumb they are or not. >> jimmy: ben carson is a guy who came out of nowhere and he's made a number of controversial statements. i'll go through quickly. he said evolution is a theory from satan. he said ohm care is like slavery. he said homosexuality is a choice and he knows this because people go into prison straight and come out of prison gay. yesterday he said joseph from the bible built the pyramids to store grain. [ laughter ] and yet this poll, quinnipiac university poll that they released today, said that if you ran against him today, he would beat you by 10%.
have to wait and see how that turns out. >> jimmy: maybe you should start saying some crazy stuff. [ laughter ] >> you know, seriously, it really does matter what you say when you are president. and it probably should matter what you say when you're running for president. because people all over the world, especially leaders, friends and foes alike, they pay attention to what presidents say. so i really know we're in the campaign season, people are saying all kinds of stuff, some of which they believe, some of which they think will get them votes, whatever the case might be. but then it does have to turn serious. because we have a lot of problems facing us. >> jimmy: people say things they don't believe. climate change, for instance. i find it interesting that the vast majority of the candidates and people who are republicans believe that manmade climate change is a myth or some sort of conspiracy designed to hurt our economy. >> right. >> jimmy: do you think that most
or are they toeing the party line? >> i think it's both. i think some people do believe it. when you hear them say, like they often do, look, i'm not a scientist. my response to that is, go talk to one and maybe you could get some information that enlighten you and educate you. [ cheers and applause ] on the problem, that climate change is confronting us with, because it is an exist 10 rl crisis. i think some are doing it because they have strong supporters, people who maybe are from the fossil fuel industry, for example, and they don't want to cross them. so they adopt that position. and whether they really believe it or it's just political opportunism, i can't tell. but the fact is it's hurting our country. and what i don't understand is there are huge economic opportunities here. if we were a clean energy super power of the 21st century we would create millions of new good jobs and businesses. and we would transition away from fossil fuel.
and help the climate at the same time. >> jimmy: donald trump, do you still consider him to be a friend? was he ever a friend? acquaintance? >> i knew donald trump. i represented new york. i got to know him -- >> jimmy: you were at his wedding. >> i was at his wedding, that's right. >> jimmy: did he register for gifts at his wedding? >> i don't remember. >> jimmy: did you get him a wedding gift? >> i went to his wedding. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you guys were apparently friendly. i know he said -- he told greta van susteren something to the effect -- i don't want to get his quote wrong because i'll be killed by him -- he said you're a terrific woman and you're doing a good job which is a bold thing to say about hillary clinton on fox news. now you guys are running against each other and he says you're the worst secretary of state in the history of the united states. is it like professional wrestling where you guys all pretend to dislike each other to win these elections and then you're all pals behind the scenes?
>> well, he's not the only one. when i'm not running for something, republicans actually say nice things about the job i do. in the senate, i worked with a lot of republicans. as secretary of state, i worked with a lot of republicans. we have a long list of nice things that republicans have said about me. >> jimmy: you should have put that in the e-mail by the way. [ laughter ] >> i tell you what -- >> jimmy: that would have been a good way to get that out there. >> you may be hearing more about it in the months ahead. then once the political season starts, i guess they believe that -- i don't have anything -- i criticize his positions because i really disagree, so strongly, with what he has said about immigration, what he has said about women. i really don't understand why he's saying a lot of that. so i criticize his positions but i try not to get into the personal stuff that you hear a lot from the republicans as they go back and forth. i don't think you need to do that. i think it's important that you give voters an idea of what you
stand for, what you're willing to do, where you draw the lines. i've said i will do everything i can to find common ground but i'll also stand my ground because i think there's some things that are very important to do that over. so i don't take it seriously. i don't know why they do it. i guess they want to appeal to the far, far right of their party and their cottage industry that is out there being mean-spirited and negative about everybody. but i'm not going to go there. >> jimmy: will you watch donald trump on "saturday night live" this weekend? >> well, that i might do, actually. >> jimmy: that you might do? >> that i might do. because, you know -- i think he watched me. >> jimmy: well, seems like the fair thing to do. hillary clinton is here. we'll be right back!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back. bob odenkirk and david cross are coming up. so i know you don't want to be presumptuous and i know there's still a year away from the election. but let's say you do win the presidency, you're back in the white house with your husband, who of course was the president. >> right. >> jimmy: will things change in that house? like for instance -- will you have the head spot at the dinner table now that you would be president? will the remote for the television be on your side of the bed? >> thank you, thank you. no, there's some things that are unchangeable. like moving the remote.
>> yeah, that is too big an issue for me to take on. i've got to do world peace and get the economy going and take care of people. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you know, i'd like maybe the national institute of health or maybe mental health to try to figure out what is it about a remote and a man? i mean -- >> jimmy: i think i can explain it. but it would be inappropriate. >> yeah. maybe we better take it offline. obviously i am not thinking that far ahead. i've got a lot of work to do to win this nomination here. >> jimmy: i'll figure it out for you. president clinton, would he be the first man, would he be the first gentleman, would he be the first mate? who decides that? >> well, he said the other day that it was fine for all this talk about me running to break the big hard glass ceiling and become president, but he was running to break the iron grip that women have had on being spouse of the president.
>> and so i think part of what we'll have to figure out is what do you call the male spouse of a female president? now, it's a little bit more complicated with him because people still call former presidents "mr. president." >> jimmy: right. >> so i have to really -- >> jimmy: i know what to call him. the first president lady would be nice. the first lady, doesn't the first -- >> first dude. first mate. first gentleman. i'm not sure. >> jimmy: does the first lady typically pick out a new china pattern? >> typically, yes. >> jimmy: will bill do that? [ laughter ] while you're actually in china, will he be selecting it? >> you know, really, i more imagine asking him what's the best way to create the most jobs really quickly and get wages up? because he did a really good job. so other presidents, both president george w. bush and obviously president obama, have asked him for advice, have asked
him to do things. i'm going to be more in that category. >> jimmy: he's very popular still. if you were running against your husband, who would win that race? >> well, i think he is a terrific, terrific campaigner. and i think he is good at it. i would be fascinated if he were eligible to run again. the constitution says he's not. he would run again. >> jimmy: he would? >> i don't want you to tell anybody that. if he could, he would. the other day i saw president obama in interview. somebody said, well, now that you think? and he said, well, yeah, it's kind of bittersweet because you've got to leave, you've got two terms. the interviewer said, well, if you ran again would you win? he goes, yeah. i think you got to have that kind of confidence if you are in this arena trying to be president. >> jimmy: a very confident man. >> if i were going to run against him? yeah. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: well, it's terrific to have you here. thank you so much. i know you've done all the late night shows. i want to thank you for doing us last. [ laughter ] >> well -- but you're over here in california. >> jimmy: that's right. we are in california. >> it took me awhile to get here. the wag gone trains ar little slow. >> jimmy: i do appreciate it. i hope to see you again. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: before the election, after the election, et cetera. hillary clinton, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, bob odenkirk and david cross! >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by jet blue, presenters of humankinda. jetblue.com/humankinda and amazon video. low on gas. pit stop. fill up. double points. yep, that's cold. tired. day 2. coffee. eggs. double points. beautiful. majestic... nothing. where are you, bear?
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tt2watv# 14! bt@qft< tt2watv# 14! "a@qvxx tt2watv# 14! bm@q]st tt4watv# 14!" dztq pnl tt4watv# 14!" entq j, tt4watv# 14!" gzt& 9mt tt4watv# 14!" hnt& )c8 tt4watv# 14!" iztq c*@ tt4watv# 14!" jntq qz tt4watv# 14!" lzt& i7\ >> jimmy: hi, there, we're back. hillary clinton was still living in the white house the last time our next guests had a show together on tv. you know them from "arrested development," "breaking bad," "better call saul" and "mr. show" - they have a brand-new one called "with bob and david." [ cheers and applause ] >> here we are. the year 2015. >> it worked, the time machine
is real! >> hey, they finally made it. >> paula, john! >> jill, brian, jay. you guys are still hanging around. they're so old. >> oh my god. you guys, seriously you've aged. >> well, look at yourselves. it's disgusting. >> yeah, you guys are older than us. >> we can't be older because we traveled in this time machine. >> we watched you get in that. and that was 16 years ago. >> yeah, dude. it just sat there for 16 years. >> jimmy: "with bob and david" premieres on netflix november 13th. please welcome bob odenkirk and david cross. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to have you here.
i'm very, very excited. what happened to you by the way? >> i'm in rehearsals for the musical version of "over the top." >> jimmy: the sylvester stallone movie? >> the arm wrestling movie. >> jimmy: you got hurt? >> he got hurt singing the song. "which arm should i use." which arm should i use the left arm's here, the right arm's here, they appear before me. and we're sing. i didn't hurt it then. i nailed the song. i started to high five like crazy. and i was high fiving so successfully -- >> have you ever seen that stallone high five movie? >> let's make a musical. >> jimmy: you guys should write a high five movie for stallone. >> it's got to happen. >> jimmy: i don't want to dwell on the past, you get enough of it from the many comedy nerds that worship and chase you. but what years were "mr. show" on? >> it was a little show, a sketch show on hbo. it ran --
>> '95 to '98. >> jimmy: '95 to '98. cult show for sure. >> definitely a cult show. the people who loved us would drink kool-aid if we asked them. and a lot of tattoos of the show for those fans. that's hard-core stuff. >> jimmy: are people bummed when they show you their mr. show tattoo ask you're like, yeah, i see that a lot. >> i think they're more bummed out by my reaction. >> jimmy: just your general disdain? >> tattoos are not -- >> he's got an old man attitude. >> i got a bad attitude about tattoos. i got one. >> jimmy: you do have one? >> 1979. it was so cool at the time. i thought it was so great. >> jimmy: right. >> it just says -- it's 1979. it's irrelevant now. but no, we hard-core fans --? you didn't like each other when you first met. what show did you work on? >> we worked on the ben stiller
[ cheers and applause ] >> we didn't like each other. i'm not -- >> you were a difficult person to like. let's be honest. >> there's a term. have you heard the term [ bleep ]? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i did. my ex-wife called me that. >> i was one of those. >> jimmy: really. >> but david, janeane garofalo brought him over to my house, he was visiting l.a., he likes to play basketball. and i'm eating a sandwich watching tv like that right there. and they're standing -- i remember this, standing outside my screen door, david with a basketball at the age of -- >> 14. >> and i was like, huh? i'm eating. then they walked away. >> the door was open. like a screen door, it's open. and he didn't even come to the door. he was just sort of watching tv eating. i remember that distinctly. eating the sandwich. then, hey, bob, it's janine, i brought my friend dave, i think
meet you, whatever, played basketball. "nah." let's be honest. >> that's how it started. and sometime after "the ben stiller show" we started doing sketches here on hollywood boulevard in a club. and it took off. just reay connected. >> jimmy: you brought a lot of the "mr. show" cast back to this show. >> yeah, this new show "with bob david" on netflix starting thursday next week. we were going to do all new stuff. we didn't know what it would be. that's one reason we didn't want to call it "mr. show." we wanted a new title. in the end, all these great actors, paul tompkins, jay johnston, jill telly, tom kenny -- >> jimmy: all these people have gone on to become famous. >> do all kinds of things. tom is sponlg bob. >> we were lucky -- >> jimmy: that's the voice of sponge upon. not the dirty spongebob you saw outside, walking in. >> that is also tom.
and we're excited to work together again. did i mention brian poepain? john ennis. wonderful actors. and writers too. they all came back. we made a really fun show. >> jimmy: well, i'm very excited. it comes out on my birthday, to me. it's very good to see you guys on the show. >> it took a little wrangling to get netflix to do it on your birthday, it was not easy. >> jimmy: can i tell you, i really appreciate it. >> happy birthday to you. >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bob odenkirk and david cross! "with bob and david" premieres november 13th on netflix.