Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 1, 2016 10:35pm-11:37pm CST

10:35 pm
"jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- calista flockhart. barbecue master adam perry lang. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from run the jewels. with cleto and the cletones. and now, let's take it from the top -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. i want to thank you in advance for bearing with me, i'm sick, had a cold for a week now. anybody else here sick tonight?
10:36 pm
>> jimmy: thanks for coming. i've had -- really i'm starting to get mad at my cold. i'll tell you, i can never remember if they say to feed a fever or starve a cold so i just go with feed and hope for the best. it's kind of the point where my daughter, almost 17 months old, she's making fun of me now. she takes tissue and show goes -- i'm being mocked by a baby. to me the worst part of the holiday, worse than traveling or trying to find a parking space or any of that stuff, is wrapping gifts. i am the worst. shaquille o'neal is a better wrapper than i am. to give you an idea. i once thought it would be easier, this is not a joke, to wrap gifts in aluminum foil. fyi, it isn't. there are very competent people who can build things, who know how to pick locks, who cannot wrap gifts. tonight we are going to shine a light on this.
10:37 pm
hollywood boulevard, cousin sal picked up two men, he does that from time to time. >> sal: hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: let's meet the gentlemen with you. what is your name? >> tim roberts. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living? >> police officer. >> jimmy: certainly a competent man, yes? >> yes. >> jimmy: life and death is in your hands when you are out working. >> every day, sir. >> jimmy: you are fighting crime, okay? >> yes. >> jimmy: can you wrap gifts? >> no, i cannot. >> jimmy: you cannot. let's meet our other -- i guess we'll call them contestant realize are what is your name? >> greg rodriguez. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> redding, california. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living? >> retired but also in sales with my wife. >> jimmy: what do you and your wife sell? >> women's clothing. >> really? >> of course. >> jimmy: do you ever slip into the women's clothing? >> no, no, no. absolutely not. temptation? just to feel what you're selling? it seems like you should. >> can't happen. >> jimmy: all right. very good.
10:38 pm
to judge your wrapping performance. to help you, hopefully. it's the gift wrap gu guru alton delaney. he does an amazing job wrapping gifts. what will you be looking for? from greg and tim tonight, wrapping-wise? >> i am an award-winning gift wrapper but i'm also an artist. i'm going to be looking for a few things. the first thing i'm going to be looking for is really clean corners. so i've got nice paper here for them to work with. it's going to fold really easy. >> jimmy: so important, crisp corners. >> clean edges as well. sharp scissors to work with, scotch gift wrap tape, which disappears on the gift. the third thing that's really important is going to be the artistic flair. i'm looking for panache. >> jimmy: ah, panache. >> pizzazz. >> jimmy: that's the hard part. >> that's what's going to determine the winner this competition. >> jimmy: there are awards for gift wrapping? >> there are awards, like being on your show. >> sal: can i say something? >> jimmy: what'd you say? >> sal: i found out -- i don't
10:39 pm
this. played college rugby with greg's son. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> no, no. >> jimmy: okay, all right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we wanted this to be a challenge. we didn't want to just give you a little jewelry box. tonight you'll be wrapping -- what are they going to be wrapping? >> sal: tonight, should be easy enough, vacuum cleaners. >> jimmy: vacuum cleaners, okay. alton, any pointers? >> all i can say is, really, good luck on this. good luck. >> jimmy: you'll have 10, 15 minutes and we'll check in later to see how you did, all right, guys? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wrap 'em, get to work. not only do we give out gifts here in hollywood this season, we also give out awards. nominees for the 73rd annual golden globes were announced this morning.
10:40 pm
season. the golden globes are given for movies and television. the movie "carol" starring cate blanchett got the most nominations with five. matt damon was nominated for best actor for "the martian," also nominated for best musical or comedy. some people are complaining saying "the martian" isn't a musical or a comedy. i disagree. i mean, it's definitely not a musical. the idea of matt damon being left for dead on another planet, to me, that's funny. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] on the television side, amazon scored a lot of nominations. three for "transparent," two for "mozart in the jungle," one for a six-pack of white cotton socks. funny hbo has to compete with a company that sells rubber-maid food storage products. isn't it? donald trump was not nominated for a golden globe. even though he is delivering
10:41 pm
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] donald trump, as you probably know, proposed a ban on muslims entering the united states and a lot of americans seem to be supportive of this. according to a new poll by bloomberg, two-thirds of likely republican voters are in favor of this idea. and quite a few democrats. 18% said it makes them more likely to vote for donald trump. what is happening? i tell you, i have not been this confused since sanjia made the top ten on "american idol." donald trump, he's been telling everyone who will hear it that he loves the people of the middle east, and that his muslim friends are in favor of being discriminated against. >> as you know i have many friends who are muslims, they're phenomenal people. they are so happy at what i'm doing. i was called by three people today, very big. they said, you are doing a tremendous service. >> jimmy: those were crank calls. not real calls. [ laughter ]
10:42 pm
friends be that tell him he's doing a tremendous -- i bet if you asked donald trump to name one of his muslim friends he'd be like, um -- dave muslim? he insists he's, quote, doing good for the muslims. i'll tell you, whenever you put the word "the" in front of the group you're describing? donald trump is doing good for the muslims, for the jews, the mexicans, the blacks, all the the's. and i'll tell you something, he's doing especially good for the whites. seems like donald trump is on every show 24 hours a day. this is last night's "inside edition." >> outrage over his controversial plan. >> a total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the united states. >> now can he really be banned from stepping foot into some american cities? then, zombie breasts? >> jimmy: my god.
10:43 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now we need to build a wall and a bra. even harrison ford last night, his wife calista flockhart is here with us tonight, he's doing an interview -- [ cheers and applause ] -- for "star wars." they brought up donald trump. >> one big "star wars" fan in the news these days is donald trump. in addition to saying that he loves the sci-fi series, trump said he also enjoys movies like "air force one" which of course stars harrison ford as a tough as nails president. ford was asked about trump's admiration for his portrayal as the commander in chief. >> donald, it was a movie. it's not like this in real life. but -- how would you know? >> jimmy: he knows. he's the smartest, got the most energy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: donald trump is going to be here with us on the show on wednesday night of next week. so we'll get to the bottom of
10:44 pm
[ cheers and applause ] university, there's a major development in the world of both science -- the worlds of science and puppy-making. the first-ever puppies to be conceived in a test tube have been born. this is amazing scientific breakthrough. it makes me happy personally too. when i was a kid our family dog, she and her husband tried unsuccessfully for years to get pregnant. hamster, which was great. but she was never able to have this is big news. if they can make a puppy in a test tube, imagine how many of them paris hilton will be able to fit in her purse. speaking of procreation. according to new data from the center for disease control, america is failing when it comes to sex education. they found out less than half of high schools and one-fifth of middle schools teach all the sex-related subjects they're supposed to. they're not teaching all the different parts. you know, surprised me. how could the system where sex ed is being reluctantly taught
10:45 pm
coach be failing? it's important because if you don't teach sex ed in school, teenagers will never get to see a 55-year-old man put a condom on a banana. the best way to guarantee teens don't engage in risky sexual behavior is to have them play the clarinet in high school band like i did. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that works, it really works, very effective. we have a delicious show tonight. the great chef adam perry lang is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] from "super girl," calista flockhart is here. [ cheers and applause ] music from killer mike aka run the jewels. if you're not familiar with killer mike, he was stumping for bernie sanders in atlanta last month. >> make sure that wherever you go you take the name, the ideas. the philosophy of bernie sanders there. make sure when you leave they
10:46 pm
because they have felt the bern! >> and let me thank killer mike. that was quite an introduction. >> jimmy: bernie sanders might be a muppet. we have a lot ahead but it's thursday which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week, whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> live at the shops at montebello, how you can [ bleep ] this guy -- >> i believe we're on the verge of the greatest time to be alive but we have to [ bleep ] these really big [ bleep ]s. >> here michelle and my mother-in-law would like me to point out that [ bleep ]ing one's mother does not usually work out well. >> did you [ bleep ], [ bleep ]? that's what we want to know. >> the front-runner for the republican presidential nomination drew heavy fire today over his proposal to [ bleep ] muslims. >> we're rolling around [ bleep ] in their their enclosure. >> we have to be prepared for
10:47 pm
your height and all of that. >> every christmas my parents and i work at a soup kitchen and help [ bleep ] homeless people. >> how do you feel? >> better than last week but my [ bleep ] is ridiculously swollen. >> you get [ bleep ]ed in the mouth, you learn really hard lessons. >> what if it's a big [ bleep ] that you and your friends can ride? >> we'll have fun together! >> my daughter's so beautiful that if i weren't married i'd be [ bleep ]ing her. >> thanks again for [ bleep ] my kiester. >> oh, it was nothing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a visit from one of the world's most beloved holiday characters, something weird is about to happen. wake the kids. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] uh right now you can get 15 gigs
10:48 pm
that is perfect because we are about to start the whole long distance thing yeah and lots of data will mean lots of video chatting how much is that? 15 gigs, that's over 40 hours of video chatting wow whoa 40 hours, that's a lot of communication yeah yay love! get 15 gigs for 100 bucks,
10:49 pm
with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. can't afford to let heartburn get in the way? try nexium 24hr, now the #1 selling brand for frequent heartburn. get complete protection with the new leader in frequent heartburn.
10:50 pm
hey! this holiday, u.s. cellular's giving you 15 gigs of data for just $70! but i wanted a pony. [ gasps ] you're getting data. pony-sized data? u.s. cellular sized data. 15 gigs of good, strong data you can actually use because it works in the middle of anywhere. i'd like $100! you're getting $400 in promo cards! yes! switch to u.s. cellular and get 15 gigs of data for just $70.
10:51 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back. calista flockhart still to come. music from the duo run the jewels on the way. first we've got two different wrappers out on hollywood boulevard. let's check in with greg and tim and the gift wrap guru alton delaney. wow, they look like christmas trees. have to say that's much better than i would have done. it really is. alton, before we select a winner, how should something like this look? what is the proper way to wrap a vacuum cleaner? >> it is all about creativity. i did one which i'll share with you guys. >> jimmy: you did, all right, great. show-off. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: oh my god, yeah, wow. yeah.
10:52 pm
kids would never guess what it is. >> thanks for the bicycle! >> jimmy: that is beautifully done. all right. alton in your expert opinion, who is the least terrible of our two gift wrappers? >> again, i was looking for crisp corners. and i'm not seeing a lot of crisp corners going on here at all. >> jimmy: okay. >> i was looking for clean edges. >> jimmy: yes? >> and again, i'm not seeing a lot of clean edges. >> jimmy: no? >> i'm relying on that third one, artistic flair. >> jimmy: yes? >> have to say i think the coordination on this one kind of ties it all together. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> nicely coordinated. but they're both winners, though i'm going to choose this one. >> jimmy: congratulations. cousin sal, tell him what he won. >> sal: for your efforts you win a vacuum. >> all right! look at that! >> jimmy: congratulations. and tim, you probably won the same thing. well, thanks, greg, tim, alton. merry christmas to all of you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what a great contest
10:53 pm
you know, we should turn that into like a primetime special -- >> shalom, shalom, everybody, shalom! happy hanukkah! happy fifth night of hanukkah, happy hanukkah and shalom! >> jimmy: yeah, shalom. >> shalom, jimmy! >> jimmy: shalom, gary, how are you? >> i'm not gary, i'm the hanukkah-corn. the hanukkah unicorn. >> jimmy: i told you we weren't going to do this again this year. >> yeah, but i'm the chanucorn -- >> jimmy: i'm sorry, gary is one of our writers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: as you can see, he's jewish and he's always trying to get hanukkah stuff on the show. last year he created this fake character -- >> it's not fake, it's not fake. >> jimmy: it is a fake character. >> no. no. >> jimmy: yes, it is a fake character. >> jimmy, why have you lost your
10:54 pm
sense of wonder is intact. >> even though you don't believe in the chanucorn? the chanucorn believes in you. [ cheers and applause ] come on in for a chanucorn hug! come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. help. >> hold on one second, hold on one second. >> jimmy: very, very uncomfortable. thank you. that is -- oh, no. what is this? hold on. >> this -- >> jimmy: what are you pointing here? >> this is a latke cannon capable of firing potatoes at 50 miles an hour. who wants a potato? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gary -- you cannot fire potatoes at the audience at 50 miles an hour. >> why not? >> jimmy: because you're going to hurt somebody, that's why not. >> i'd be liable? >> jimmy: yes, you would be liable. gary, put the gun down. okay, great. all right. like an idaho field. are we done?
10:55 pm
ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the temple beth israel gospel choir! [ cheers and applause ] he's a corn a chanucorn and he came to share with you his guiding light lit every night giving a gift to you >> what gifts i'm going to bring to you all, let me tell you! can of stew can of corn >> on day eight i'm going to give you the greatest gift of all. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome dreidel dog! oh dreidel dog oh dreidel
10:56 pm
[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the chanucorn, everybody, and dreidel dog. tonight on the show we have music from run the jewels, chef adam perry lang is here, be right back with calista flockhart! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by esurance. auto and home insurance for the modern world.
10:57 pm
modern company should. (politely) wait, wait, wait! you can't put it in like that, you have to rinse it first. that's baked-on alfredo. baked-on? it's never gonna work. dish issues? trust your dishwasher with cascade platinum. it powers... through... your toughest stuck-on food. better than finish.
10:58 pm
ok, we're here. he's dad. mom. the twins. aunt alice... you didn't tell me aunt alice was coming. of course. don't forget grandpa. can the test drive be over now? maybe just head back to the dealership? don't you want to meet my family? yep, totally. it's practically yours, but we still need your signature. the volkswagen sign then drive event. zero due at signing, zero down, zero deposit, and zero first months payment on a new jetta
10:59 pm
hey! this holiday, u.s. cellular's giving you 15 gigs of data for just $70! but i wanted a pony. [ gasps ] you're getting data. pony-sized data? u.s. cellular sized data. 15 gigs of good, strong data you can actually use because it works in the middle of anywhere. i'd like $100! you're getting $400 in promo cards! yes! switch to u.s. cellular and get 15 gigs of data for just $70.
11:00 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight a hero to meat lovers everywhere, chef adam perry lang is with us, his book "serious barbecue," he's going to teach us to make the holiday roast of your dreams.
11:01 pm
guillermo. a very talented duo, album "run the jewels 2," run the jewels from the samsung outdoor stage. i want to mention something that's important. jon stewart's been working hard to get congress to reauthorize the zadroga act that funds health care for the first responders on 9/11, the police and firefighters and medical personnel. many of whom got sick as a result of their work there. the bill expired at the end of september and now congress is being very congress-y about it. supposedly it has the votes but needs to be renewed before they go on recess december 19th. if you want to do something good and easy, send a message to your congressperson, and especially send it to senate majority leader mitch mcconnell, use these people as political leverage. the hash tag for social media is #firstresponders. use that. ask the people who are supposed to represent us to represent us. [ cheers and applause ]
11:02 pm
the top trending hash tags are "elchapo and "makethe80schristmassy so let's beat them. next week donald trump will be with us in our studio, as will oscar isaac from "the force awakens," john kaczynski, ryan seacrest, misty copeland, chris fowler and kirk herbstriet, and music from seal, gary clark junior, jeff lins, elo, and r. kelly too. there are five seasons of television, our first guest tonight was terrorized by "ally mcbeal." now she's back on tv as cat grant on "super girl." night on cbs, please welcome [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sick, i didn't
11:03 pm
>> what's wrong? >> jimmy: i have a cold, nothing special. >> i'm sorry. i just got over a very nasty sinus infection. >> jimmy: isn't it time they figure something out? >> it's not fun. yes, well, they have antibiotics. >> jimmy: they do. but you know what? i had a sinus infection, took two weeks of them, i didn't want any more of them in my body. >> i don't know what to say. >> jimmy: i feel embarrassed talking about this stuff knowing that your husband, harrison ford, was in a plane crash and broke his leg and i'm complaining about my sniffles. >> you have every right to complain about your sniffles. >> how is harrison? is he in "star wars" land, off promoting and talking about things? >> he is. he's currently in australia. >> jimmy: oh, australia. do you chat on the phone? >> we talk all the time. he's learning how to text. >> jimmy: he is? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> honestly.
11:04 pm
uh. but he does it and he's getting better. >> jimmy: does he use emojis? >> no. he says, where'd you get that picture from? really bad. >> jimmy: i always feel like when he's here -- i feel like he really likes me but he never shows it in any way. >> no, you know, it's funny. because i was just talking to him and i said, you know, i'm going to do jimmy kimmel. and he said, yeah. yeah, i don't know about that guy. and then he said, i remember -- and i don't remember this, i don't know if you remember. he said, i remember the last time you were on jimmy kimmel, calista. >> jimmy: i remember this, yes. >> you remember. >> jimmy: people sometimes ask me, what from the show is your most embarrassing moment? that is the first thing that usually pops to mind, what happened the last time you were here. >> do you have a clip? is there a clip? >> jimmy: there better not be a clip. >> we have a clip here.
11:05 pm
the clip up? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you should all be ashamed of yourselves. you go ahead and set it up, i'm going to sit under the desk. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> it's okay. >> jimmy: just tell them what they're going to look at and it will be fine. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: well, i'm sorry too. >> no, i'm really sorry, it's okay. >> jimmy: it's harrison's fault. he brought it up. >> my heart is pounding now. this is so awkward. >> jimmy: yes, it is very, very awkward. as most of my interactions are so really, don't feel like it's anything unusual. i don't mean to pry. what i'm wondering about, harrison with these planes and
11:06 pm
no more flying a plane, that's it, you crashed, that's that. >> no. >> jimmy: you don't? >> no, i don't. he loves, loves, loves to fly. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so because he loves it, i love it. and i have to say, sincerely, i support him in it. that would be like -- well -- >> jimmy: taking away what he loves. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which a lot of wives enjoy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe that's why you guys have been married for so long. were you with him when he broke his leg on the "star wars" set? >> no, no, he was in london. and i was visiting my parents in tennessee. >> jimmy: i see. >> when i got the call. >> jimmy: who called you? >> a producer, i think a producer. >> jimmy: how did they position it to you when they call you? >> well, this was actually interesting. because -- it was interesting. harrison -- no, the producer, not harrison.
11:07 pm
she said, hi, calista. i have some bad news. harrison has been hurt. he had an accident. he was standing on a millennium falcon and the door closed. and i said, oh. so -- no, sorry, he said, the door fell. the door fell. i'm not getting the story right. the door fell. and i thought that he was on some commercial airline. and the door fell off and he flew out of the airplane. >> jimmy: you didn't know what the millennium falcon was? >> i did not know. i know. and i called a friend and i said, what the hell is the millennium falcon? >> i've never heard of that airline. >> jimmy: what? really? >> really. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. have you ever seen any of the "star wars" movies? >> i have now. well, when i was young, we lived in a very small town. >> jimmy: how small could it have been? >> really small. we didn't have a movie theater. >> was it the size of a thumb
11:08 pm
i mean -- >> where are you from? >> jimmy: i'm from las vegas, we have everything. >> you have everything. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. we'll come back. your new show, which i happened to enjoy, "super girl." calista flockhart. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] (ding) (dong) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) sfx: (countdown) 3, 2, 1 (ding) (ding) (ding) rocket moderate to severe crohn's disease is tough, but i've managed. except that managing my symptoms was all i was doing. and when i finally told my doctor, he said humira
11:09 pm
but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. and that in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible. (trap door opening) rootmetrics in the nation's largest independent study tested wireless performance across the country. verizon, won big with 153 state wins.
11:10 pm
verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. at&t got... text. stuck on an average network? join verizon and we'll cover your costs to switch. who's the rebel now? no way. yes way! savor breakfast any time you like. eggs, sizzling sausage, hot cakes, real butter. mcdonald's all day breakfast menu. yeah!
11:11 pm
how else do you think he gets around so fast? take the reins this holiday and get the mercedes-benz you've always wanted during the winter event. hurry, offers end january 4th! hey sweetie, it's time. eye of the tiger tv anncr: good afternoon everyone.
11:12 pm
tv anncr: this team is having a fantastic season. morning rituals are special. when you share what you love... ...with who you love. kellogg's frosted flakes. they're grrreat! can win a microsoft surface 3...when you buy any specially-marked kellogg's product. i'm moving to a place where i can get internet from centurylink. if i get the three year price lock, am i stuck with the three year contract? no. that just means the price won't change.
11:13 pm
that way the price is locked, you're not. you can just hang out and be free. lock in your monthly price for 3 years without a contract when you bundle with unlimited nationwide calling. see you in 2018. so far nobody's made any
11:14 pm
wanted to embarrass you. >> so -- mission accomplished. in the last hour alone "the daily planet" has published my real age, the fact that i have three personal shoppers on call at barney's, and that i asked out idris alba on a date and he said no. his loss. >> jimmy: calista flockhart in "super girl." the midseason finale is monday. your character is cat grant. you're super girl's boss. you're kind of a terrible boss, really. i think passive-aggressively abusive to the staff, wouldn't you agree with that? >> probably a little bit, yes, agree. >> jimmy: maybe it's the cocktails and jelly beans that are throwing you off. >> well, yeah. >> jimmy: is that from the comic book? cocktails and jelly beans? >> no, no. i just had this weird feeling that every time cat got stressed they had me going over and taking a shot. and i said, this is a show for
11:15 pm
promote that. so i asked them for some jelly beans. >> jimmy: beans and a shot? >> and a shot. >> jimmy: when you were a kid, do you have -- did you have like a television, like a superhero role model, somebody that you liked? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who was yours? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i was really into laverne difazio. >> jimmy: from "laverne and shirley." [ cheers and applause ] why laverne and not shirley? >> that's a really good question. that's not very nice to shirley. >> jimmy: well, i mean, you have to pick one, really. >> i don't know, i just liked laverne. i was drawn to laverne. >> jimmy: she had "the l" on her sweater. >> the "l" on her sweater. maybe she was a little more -- i don't know what. >> jimmy: a little more brassy, though both were kind of. they worked at a beer factory. >> they were awesome. >> jimmy: i know so much more about television than history,
11:16 pm
>> do you know the song? >> jimmy: of course. >> sing it. >> jimmy: i don't know if we -- we'll do it our way >> jimmy: yeah, i know all that stuff. >> we know all that stuff. >> jimmy: that's what my head is filled with, that and jelly beans. >> me, too. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. please give harrison my best. the show is called "super girl." midseason finale monday night at 8:00. calista flockhart. we'll be right back with chef adam perry lang! [ cheers and applause ] d to resist. even for us. do you know why you're here? uhh, not really, no. you ate all the turkey for our rhode island market. how am i supposed to do quality control if i can't eat the product? you're not. you work in accounting. got it. ok. the tender turkey breast sandwich,
11:17 pm
founded on fresh. innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. if you could see your cough, it's just a cough. you'd see how often you cough all day and so would everyone else. new robitussin 12 hour delivers fast, powerful cough relief that lasts up to twelve hours. new robitussin 12 hour cough relief. because it's never just a cough. they say when mr. clean saw all the different things his new smart phone does... reminded him of his magic eraser. it's not just for marks on walls... it's tough on kitchen grease... and bathroom grime too. he's your...
11:18 pm
music throughout "forget about the cowboy walk because of a saggy diaper" "it's time to dance freely" "thanks to new pampers cruisers" "the first and only diaper that helps distribute wetness evenly into three extra absorb channels." "so it doesn't sag and stays dryer" "so wiggle it" "jiggle it" "and do, whatever that is, in new pampers cruisers"
11:19 pm
automated voice: to file a claim, please state your name. carnie wilson. thank you. can you hold on? hold on for one more day really? hey, i know there's pain. why do you lock yourself up in these chains? this would be so easy if you had progressive. our mobile app would let you file a claim and help you find one of our service centers where we manage the entire repair process. things will go your way if you hold on. [ sighs ] someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye. say goodbye
11:20 pm
>> jimmy: we're back. still to come, music from run the jewels. from personal experience i'll tell you, our next guest really knows how to handle a piece of meat. he's here to make your holiday feast feastier. chef adam perry lang. how are you? >> good, how are you doing? >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we're in our parking lot behind our stage here. you've got a popup restaurant, it was here this week. >> yes. >> jimmy: you sold out all week, you'll be here next week. >> tuesday, wednesday, thursday. >> jimmy: for lunchtime. it's all for charity, all proceeds to charity? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: which charity do they
11:21 pm
it's -- >> jimmy: l.a. kitchen? >> l.a. kitchen. >> jimmy: good thing i'm here. barbecue chef, he breathes in smoke and it's turned his brain to food. what are we making tonight? we're making roast? >> holiday roast. how i pick these, i like c.a.b., it's ready to go. i just score the outside. >> jimmy: c.a.b., what is c.a.b.? >> certified angus beef. >> jimmy: certified angus beef, nice. >> i score the outside. >> jimmy: nice. why do you score the outside? >> it creates all those nooks and crannies so those burnt bits that everybody talks about, it's like 3d. >> jimmy: it gives you extra. >> extra stuff. >> jimmy: i like that, all right, great. >> so my rub is really basic. it's salt, garlic salt, black pepper, cayenne. can you season this for me? >> jimmy: i would love to season this. what kind of wood are you using here? >> whiskey three ways. >> jimmy: whiskey three ways, okay. >> i'm going to smoke from staves from the george dickel barrel -- >> jimmy: pieces of the barrel
11:22 pm
barrel? >> you can actually see the charred -- >> jimmy: can i smell it? yep. okay. >> i throw it in here. >> jimmy: put them in the big green egg. the green egg is a great way to all right. >> exactly. this is ready to go. >> jimmy: get the sides too. >> we're going to put it in. when setting these things 325 is the way to go. >> jimmy: i've always said that. >> throw it in, leave it alone. we'll make phase two of the whiskey infusion. >> jimmy: this is? >> this is shallots and butter cooking down. okay, and then what i'm going to do is add some whiskey. >> jimmy: will this get your guests drunk? the alcohol. >> jimmy: alcohol cooks off? >> perfect timing. >> should you be careful about this? >> jimmy: hi, guys. >> guillermo: hi! i smell food and alcohol! all over you.
11:23 pm
>> this is cooking down. >> jimmy: you've got a brush made of herbs. >> exactly. >> jimmy: very nice. yes, all right, wow. >> one over here that's ready to go. i'm going to glaze it. >> jimmy: isn't that always the way on television? there's always one ready to go, isn't there. >> exactly. >> guillermo: i brought tortillas too. >> jimmy: oh, good, tortillas. he always has tortillas with him. i like that you're heating them up on the grill, that's nice. >> guillermo: yeah, i want to make tacos. >> jimmy: you take herbs, tie them up. the herb brush. >> george dickel 12 in there -- >> jimmy: you use it to season the meat and gives it extra flavor. >> what are the tortillas doing? how did that happen? >> jimmy: he brought tortillas. >> mind if i baste it with whiskey? >> jimmy: he's the tortilla fairy. >> so we baste it. now we're done. >> jimmy: all right. >> because it's tv. >> jimmy: guillermo, you're drinking already? >> guillermo: a little bit. >> slice this, dressing, oil olive oil, herbs -- >> jimmy: that is a great thing to do after you've cooked. i follow your recipes in your cookbook.
11:24 pm
you put it on the board, you cut it up, and you just kind of slather it around in this dressing. how do you want me to just cut it in big slices? >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: guillermo, be careful, i'm going to try not to chop off your moustache. how thick? >> thin as you can go. sharp knife. >> jimmy: guillermo likes his thick. >> horseradish, grated. >> guillermo: let me check my tortillas. >> jimmy: check your tortillas. wow. this knife really is sharp. oh my goodness. it's the chanucorn. >> is this meat kosher? >> jimmy: is this meat kosher? >> no, it's not. >> jimmy: it's not kosher chanucorn. i think you can make an exception, right? can we make him some? >> yes, we can. >> jimmy, i want to gift you something. >> jimmy: what's my gift? >> i have two george dickel barrels. >> jimmy: is he in there? >> no are no. >> jimmy: that's a real barrel of whiskey? >> i have two barrels. since you're such a good friend i'm giving you one.
11:25 pm
>> jimmy: see that? friends give friends whiskey. well, thank you very much. i appreciate that. i did a good job? all right, good. now that i've sliced the meat -- be careful, guillermo. you've got to get some of the stuff on it, hold on. let me finish that, stop it, you. all right. look -- put the meat in this -- i feel like i'm really cooking in this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, l.p. and killer mike are here. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: do you want a tortilla or do you want your beef au naturel? >> i can't eat -- >> we have to perform, i cannot eat. >> jimmy: is that right? >> we can drink. >> jimmy: give them some george dickel right this. i'm going to slather this. guillermo, grab me another tortilla. >> guillermo: hold on, excuse me, i've got to get my tortillas. >> jimmy: killer mike, you haven't actually killed anybody? >> just microphones. >> that's the best way. >> you did a job on that meat. >> jimmy: i always do a job on the meat, killer mike, you should know that about me. >> it does look good.
11:26 pm
the spice on the outside, there's nothing on the inside. i like to finish with flavored salt. >> this is incredibly cruel to invite us before we have to perform. >> jimmy: that's right. there you go, a little something for you. chanucorn, a little something for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: there you go. it's the traditional -- and i'm going to have something also here. adam, i hope you don't mind i'm leaving you out. you get enough of this stuff. >> guillermo: should we do a toast? >> jimmy: you do the toast. >> guillermo: he wants to do the toast. >> i'd like to toast our next president, senator bernie sanders. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh, it's delicious. cheers to all of you. thank you very much. chef adam perry lang. that's his book "serious barbecue" and it is serious indeed. we'll be right back with music from run the jewels! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel
11:27 pm
presented by samsung. -hey. something new has arrived. and it works in the middle of anywhere. the iphone 6s on u.s. cellular lets you stay connected where other networks don't. hurry in and get the iphone 6s today, and save $550. the iphone 6s on u.s. cellular.
11:28 pm
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank calista flockhart, adam perry lang, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. first the album "run the jewels 2" here, with the song "crown," run the jewels! >> let me see your face, first
11:29 pm
down with the shame down with the shame used to walk traps in the rain with cocaine used to write raps in the traps as i sat in the rain and i prayed that god give me a lane give me a lane give me the fame give me the fame and i promise to change won't be the same won't be the same type of man that puts cocaine in this lady's hand heard she was pregnant i'm guilty i reckon 'cause i hear that good -- can hurt baby's brain heard he was normal 'til three and then he stopped talkin' since then ain't nothin been the same seen her some years later out in decatur told her that i'm sorry for causin' her pain causin' me pain causin' me pain she asked again and she grabbed my right hand asked am i crazy said look here baby i release you from all of your sins and your shame 'cause i've been redeemed i found in christ whatever it take i hope you find it mike the look on her face shown
11:30 pm
shame and the hate and that she wears a crown my late grandma bettie had prayed with her heavy and told her to tell me lay my burdens down can't pick up no crown holding what's holding you down what's holding you down can't pick up no crown can't pick up no crown let me see your hands l.a.! down with the shame down with the shame carried the flag in some other men's name loaded my weapon and swore to them vengeance and stepped with aggression right into the fray into the haze into the murk told me to prove to them what i was worth we'll teach you to move without mercy and give you the tools to go after the causers of hurt you'll become death you will
11:31 pm
everything you've ever loved use all the pain that you've felt in your life as the currency go out and trade it for blood you are not you you are now us we are the only ones that you can trust you'll become fear they'll become dust before this moment you didn't mean much you are the smoldering vessel of punishment born to do nothing but justify us give us your empathy we'll give you lust let yourself go my son time to grow up give up your childish obsession with questioning anything we don't tell you is irrelevant everything you've ever been is replaced by the metal and fire of the weapon you clutch can't pick up no crown holding what's holding you down can't pick up no crown holding what's holding you down can't pick up no crown can't pick up no crown can't pick up no crown holding what's holding you down can't pick up no crown holding
11:32 pm
pick up no crown put your hands together like this! can't pick up no crown holding what's holding you down can't pick up no crown holding what's holding you down can't pick up no crown can't pick up no crown crown crown crown crown crown this is "nightline." >> tonight we follow one woman trying to find her birth mother against impossible odds. it's been four decades since she
11:33 pm
>> it would almost be too
11:34 pm
11:35 pm
11:36 pm


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on