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tv   13 News at Nine on FOX 17  FOX  January 10, 2016 9:00pm-9:30pm CST

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now everyone get in the truck! 'cause we goin'... (high-pitched): lawn-mowin' (cheering, whooping) (tires screech) that wall is the crowning achievement of my career. i bet i get a promotion. buckwald, you're fired. what?! with that wall up, we don't need you anymore. so hand in your gun and uniform. what the hell are you wearing a hello kitty shirt for? you're not my boss anymore-- i don't have to tell you. you're rehired. i love hello kitty. she's a kitty and she has a nice greeting. you're fired. bud, you lost your job? how are we gonna pay our bills? don't you worry, daddy. we gonna be fine. i still got those pennies the goldbergs gave us for trick-or-treat. sanford, you're 24 and able-bodied. maybe you could go out and get a job. sure. maybe i could sell drugs. how would you feel if i were to sell drugs? he's amazing. they really think he's their son!
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you know, if you need a job, i could use some help on my crew. because of the border wall, there's fewer immigrants left to hire. no way am i working for you. i'd rather go back to dancing for my dad's friends! bud, take the damn job! (sighs) would i be the only white guy on your crew? no, no. we have a mexican albino. i'm not an albino. i look this way because i saw a ghost! look, becky, news cameras. we're finally going to be heard. activists continue to protest the wall, demanding that... (gulps) oh, god! i swallee! i'm allergic! (gasping) don't put this on youtube. god, how humiliating. i've gone from one mexican boss to another. when am i gonna be on top? well, in my experience, you just tell a mexican man when you want to be on top. just let me watch my video, you boobed bozo.
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welcome to the gonzalez landscaping training video. so, julio, are you ready for your first day at gonzalez landscaping? s^, ernesto! landscaping can be fun. but remember, always concentrate when using dangerous equipment. so, julio, have you learned what it takes to be a gonzalez landscaping lawn artist? ernesto (dubbed): yes! and in an unrelated note, i hereby absolve gonzalez landscaping of any liabilities. everyone, i'd like you all to meet the newest member of our team, bud buckwald. (forced laugh) oh, that's not my name. bud buckwald is an important person in this community. ha, ha, ha. okay, bud. why don't you use that leaf blower to clean up the debris? (leaf blower whirring) (crash, bud screams) i'm good. hola, bud! you want to come over for a cerveza?
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bud, he's your boss now. go! (groans) how's your beer? uh, good, uh, mr. gonzalez. so... okay, fine, i confess! i've been stealing office supplies! (crying) bud buckwald from high school? you're a gardener now? wow. i've never felt so proud about being a custodian at an adult theater. (shoes squishing) okay, that's lunchtime. who's up for a game of air lacrosse? (leaf blowers whirring) come on, bud, join us! ugh, fine. (screaming) sir, we have an unidentified aircraft approaching the base. shoot it down. no!
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i am going back to work for ernesto! it's even more humiliating than working for steve. bud, you can't quit now. sorry, but unless you find another way to make money, you have no choice. now, why don't you go watch tv and i'll bring you some tea. and none of you turkeys better bother daddy while he's resting, or i'll whip you with my cb antenna! man: any little girls out there? come back. (indistinct whispering in spanish) janice, do you hear spanish whispering? janice: you mean now, or when you're out at bowling night? what? uh, i'm at the store! (dog barking in distance) (indistinct whispering in spanish) my god, i've worked for mexicans so long i'm hearing imaginary ones. janice, did you hear that?! what the hell?! are you the guy? yeah. i'm the guy. gracias, seor. by the way, you know about the, uh... yeah, he's the son we don't talk about.
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hey, ernesto, i got a message for you! what is it? look up in the sky. aw, crap! i filled out the skywriting form wrong! it's supposed to say "i quit!" is that your social security number? (screams) i got to call everyone in town and tell them not to look up! crispy m&m's are baaaack. what are you doing? you said to tell our fans crispy m&m's are back. not those fans! did you mean this fan? no. (annoyed grumbles) what about that one? there's a fan in the break room, oh! and in the....(trails off) so good, they're back. hey coworkers. it's me, a businessman, and not colonel sanders. don't you just hate those long days when you're so busy doing business things that you can't make a hot, home-cooked meal for the family. well, i just picked up a twenty dollar family fill up from kfc. hand-breaded with eleven herbs and spices. do you even work here? well of course i do, terry.
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claire. tiffany. hazel. it's finger lickin' good. [ horn honks ] okay, this is u.s. cellular, and this is verizon.
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you get 6 gigs of 4g data for only $40 per month -- $20 less than verizon. and u.s. cellular's network was built to work in places like out here, here, and here. so, with all of that, why would you ever go to verizon? switch to u.s. cellular now and get 6 gigs of data for just $40 a month plus get $300 back.
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there you are, bud. you've been in the basement all morning. what are you doing down there? i'm, uh... making a jazz album. from now on, no one is allowed to go down there. a jazz album? isn't jazz why the government tried to drown new orleans? what about work? shouldn't you be out cutting lawns with ernesto? i quit. my jazz career is taking off. here's some of my early royalties. i don't like jazz. especially when i get it all over my face. wait, i'm thinking of adult contemporary. (knocking)
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good morning, janice. you look fly. is bud here? he forgot to take home the crap from his desk. (gasps) steve! here's a thousand dollars. why don't you just forget what you saw here? where'd you get a thousand dollars? here's $2,000 to forget about that thousand dollars you saw. and before you ask, here's $3,000. what? $4,000. i can do this all day. welcome to america. here's a list of states that are cool with you being gay. the jig is up, buckwald! (bud gasps) (man yells) i know what you're up to. you're running a smuggling tunnel. please, steve! i can't go to jail. i like to shower on all fours, and the guys might tease me about that! i'm not sending you to prison, buckwald. because i want in. you... you what? my salary's been cut, thanks to that damn border wall. so i'm your new partner. fine. it's a deal. but you should know, my family thinks
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that damn border wall directly bifurcates the natural habitat of the mexifornia condor, which is a federally protected species. the court has to rule in our favor. bailiff: all rise. the honorable james killbirds borderwall presiding. (gasps) what? sorry, my mistake. judge borderwall is out sick today. oh, thank god. in his place is the honorable jake glasseshater nerdstomp. (gasps) look over yonder
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the sun is a-risin' most definitely a new day is comin' whoo-hoo people are changin' ain't it beautiful whoo-hoo crystal blue persuasion better get ready gonna see the light... ernesto, shouldn't you be at work? actually, business isn't so good. this wall was supposed to stop the immigrants, but for some reason, i'm seeing more immigrants than ever. new gardeners keep showing up and undercutting me. hola, amigo. what a great day to be in america.
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hey, i just became a true american. ernesto, let me tell you how it works. you spend years working for the man, and one day you'll get to be the man, too. like me. i thought you were unemployed. and why do you have all that money in your car? god, you're nosy. why don't you go investigate someone else, murphy brown? in mexico, that show was called fancy sad woman. mr. barracuda, as your accountant, i must inform you that a new smuggling tunnel in mexifornia is cutting into your revenues. what? i will not stand for this. where is my beheadsman? (heavy footsteps approaching) hi, boss! i need you to go to mexifornia and bring me the guys running that tunnel. what if it's a lady? even if it's a lady. what if it's a puppy? if it's a puppy, you can keep it. yay! puppy, puppy! don't get your hopes up.
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mmm, this turkey is natural? yeah. it's too good to be true. not again. real estate never goes down. fact. we'll have the baby, and i'll have my band, and it'll just work. right. don't worry about it honey. all of our family photos are right here (banging sound) on the hard drive. it's called a timeshare. we don't own it, we share it. let's do it. oh yeah. that is good. - mm-hmm. finally, something that's not too good to be true. it's oscar mayer natural turkey breast, and it tastes great. i hope no one looks at my plans while i'm sleeping. you'll never get my plans while i'm sleeping. (whispering) because i'm never sleeping. vo: boom beach.
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clementine never feared for her personal safety. until taco bell introduced $1 crunchwrap sliders. four delicious flavors, for just a buck each. then clementine began to worry. luckily under her own body was a weird rubber plug.
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(farts) well, that's the quittin' fart. see you monday. not so fast, buckwald. before you go, sweep out the tunnel entrance. since when do you give me orders? since you stood behind me when that bat flew into the tunnel. i don't like 'em-- they're tiny vampires. you're coming with us. is this where the ninja turtles live?
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let us first take a moment to honor those we've lost since the last meeting. he is a big loss. all right, let's get down to business. i've discovered interlopers cutting into our smuggling business. normally, these men would be fed to my hungry croco-tigers. man: humblebrag. but they manage a tunnel that empties into a border agent's home-- the last place authorities would look. it's brilliant. brilliant? the gentleman behind this operation is here tonight. his name is steve. what? no, i founded the tunnel. my name is... beheadsman, remove that man. okay. hey, buckwald, i got to take off for a few hours today, so i hired kimmy here to keep an eye on you.
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your dad, steve, tells me you like stickers. oh, that's it. this is my business, steve, not yours. i'm the man this time around. and so now i get to say this to you: you are fired. fine. you're under arrest for operating an illegal smuggling tunnel. oh, yeah? well, you turn me in, i'll turn you in. if you don't give me the (bleep) money, i'm turning you both in. buckwald, we just lost $2.8 million to a 13-year-old girl, but remember this: i'm the man. this is the way things are and will always be. southern narrator: well, looks like ol' bud wound up right back where he started. course, you don't need me tellin' you that. you wasted your time watchin' it, too. well, stay tuned for the 10:00 news. uhp, we're not done. our top story: due to an increase of undocumented immigrants in mexifornia, mayor paulson has declared the border wall ineffective and called for its immediate destruction. after hours of talks with my new consultant
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i have come to the conclusion that the world has enough walls, and that this bitch here, this bitch is all jamarcus's. he runs this bitch. well, bud, i'm sorry your border wall didn't work out. yeah, i just wanted to be the man for once. well, you'll always be my man. and look on the bright side. your album reached the top of the jazz charts you sold seven copies. the lucrative contract to tear down the wall has been awarded to gonzalez landscaping. what? gonzalezes: yay. the gonzalezes are going to hawaii. (all cheer) (whispers) okay, not until season three. what can we do? (whispers) the gonzalezes are solving a double murder with the help of bones! where firefighters responded to
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plus how much they were able to salvage... road to the white house... with the iowa caucuses now three weeks away - presidential candidates are hot after voter support in iowa... hear ben carsons prediction about iowa, plus a preview for monday's brown and black forum deep freeze... last night's frigid temperatures could be just a warning of what's to come... plus - if more snow and ice will come... [ horn honks ] okay, this is u.s. cellular, and this is verizon. now, same phones, but with u.s. cellular you get 6 gigs of 4g data for only $40 per month -- $20 less than verizon. and u.s. cellular's network was built to work in places like out here, here, and here. so, with all of that, why would you ever go to verizon? switch to u.s. cellular now and get 6 gigs of data for just $40 a month plus get $300 back.
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good evening aod evening and thanks for joining us... reminded us that it's winter and it's january. but tonight we're about to see something we don't see that often... it'll likely be warmer when you to bed. we'll first go to meteorologist amber alexander to see how many
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we'll need on the way to work tomorrow morning... normally temperatures decrease during the overnight but due to a warm front lifting over central iowa tonight, temperatures will actually increase. we'll be in the middle teens by sunrise with highs in the lower to middle 20s. skies will be on the cloudy side for monday, and a cold front moving through late could spark a few light snow showers. this cold front will bring another wave of cold temperatures and very breezy conditions for tuesday. however, it does look like we can expect some warmer temperatures to help melt some snow by the mid-week. madison county authorites are looking into the cause of a fatal crash. the crash happened late saturday night on summit street in winterset. a clarinda couple had just turned onto summit in their van.
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eller crashed his jeep into the back of their vehicle. eller died. the clarinda couple wasn't seriously injured. authorities haven't announced any charges. west des moines firefighters had to rush to help a crew member when a home's wall collapsed in an early morning fire. reid chandler has the details... 9:25:24 "he looked through the curtains, and saw it was just a...yeah, the backyard was just a huge glow." - troy and dawn wirtz - neighbors troy and dawn wirtz live right next to the house on bradford drive that lit up west des moines early sunday morning. 10:27:43 "big fire, we got called about 3:35 this morning on a report of a house fully engulfed in flames. when the firefighters were released, even at the station, they could see a glowing in the sky." - mike whitsell - west des moines fire marshall the wirtz's called 9-1-1 before fleeing up the street to safety... but they say their biggest concern was for the man who called the house, "home." 9:27:07 "we knew that if his car was there, then he was likely there. but without that, he might be gone." 9:26:26 "there was so much smoke, and that was all blowing to the southeast, and we couldn't
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all going on. it really looked like our own house was on fire, and we just kept waiting." - troy and dawn wirtz - neighbors fortunately, the man and his dog weren't home at the time of the fire. but in fighting the blaze, one fireman faced his own injury. 10:28:46 "during the operation, a firefighter was on the outside of the building. the structure started collapsing, an outside wall fell and hit him. don't have a condition, he was talking when they took him to the hospital." - mike whitsell - west des moines fire marshall firefighters not releasing a name or status on the injured crewmember, but they say his injuries are not life-threatening. with everyone safe, neighbors now turn to what's left of the rubble. 10:29:18 "the house is a total loss. we're continuing to put out hotspots, we'll be here for most of the day." - troy and dawn wirtz - neighbors the wirtz's hoping to help any small way they can. 9:28:25 "it was my daughter's idea to give some of her christmas gift cards over to seth - she has one from kohl's that she wants to give him so he can get some clothes right away." - troy and dawn wirtz - neighbors neighbors being neighborly - crews say that made all the difference fighting a fierce flame in such fatally-freezing conditions. 10:29:29 "it's extremely cold,
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to let our firefighters come in and warm up." - mike whitsell - west des moines fire marshall residents reminded by such a close call to remain alert. 9:28:01 "you think you're prepared for something like this, a fire, but when you're in the action like that, it feels a little different. scary - it's a little scary." - troy and dawn wirtz - neighbors investigators are still looking into the cause of the fire. republican presidential candidate ben carson was in the metro today... he spoke at two churches - and after services he took a moment to share his iowa caucus predictions... 10:34:39:23-10:35:02:14 "well the main strategy is to get up and out in front of people...last week when i was here....every venue we went to...had to do double meetings..there is a lot of excitement building...i think your going to see the poll numbers start to turn as we are nearing the actual election...we are actually quite optimistic." all three democratic candidates
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discuss issues surrounding the minority community. they will attend the historic brown and black forum in des moines. before monday night's event -- the iowa democratic party meet with minority leaders and activists today. they say economic inequality and immigration reform need immediate answers. one mexican immigrant there hopes the forum brings hope to the minority communities. he also says donald trump's language hurts the country 031812 - specifically if donald trump wins the nominee, is he going to win the general election? i dont think so but his rhetoric and the rhetoric of all the other republican contenders has really started a fire in individuals who are afraid of us, afraid of change, afraid of process and afraid to include people the forum will take place tomorrow at drake university at 7 p - m. the event is free to the public one of the world's most notorious drug lords is behind bars - coming up after the break... why actor sean penn is now in the cross fire of this criminal
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but that's how some presidential candidates
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americans work hard, and pay into it. so our next president needs a real plan to keep it strong. (elephant noise) (donkey noise)
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focusing on a 'secret meeting' between the drug kingpin and a famous hollywood actor. reid binion reports. nat pop days after drug kingpin joaquin "el chapo" guzman was captured by mexican officials -- following his 2nd escape from prison in july-- mexican authorities are now turning their interest to actor sean penn. mexican officials want to question penn over a reported secret meeting with the drug lord. on saturday, published an article written by penn.. featuring an interview done via video messaging with el chapo. q: how did you get involved in the drug business? a: well from the age of 15 and on, where i'm from which is the municipality of badiraguato, i was raised on a ranch called la tuna. in that area,
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