tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 23, 2012 12:00am-1:05am PDT
♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" tonight tracy morgan and guillermo media day. now here's jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: thank you very much. hello there. i'm jimmy. this is our nba game night special -- although it isn't quite night, but that's okay. it is father's day. happy father's day to the dads whose families were kind enough to give them the greatest gift of all -- the gift of being left alone to watch tv. [ laughter ] father's day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor dad, it's the one day of the year that brookstone does any business.
you know that? [ laughter ] coming up shortly, game 3 of the nba finals between the miami heat and the oklahoma city thunder. game 3 is critical because the team that wins game 3 goes on to win the finals sometimes. [ laughter ] so, the thunder won game 1, the heat won game 2, so they're even, which means it's almost as if the last week of our lives meant absolutely nothing at all. [ laughter ] miami's looking to win their first title for the thousands of elderly fans who are scheduled to pass away over the off-season. [ laughter ] game 2 was exciting. the heat held off a late thunder comeback. they won it in the final seconds. lebron had a finals career high of 32 points. and whatever you think of lebron james, at this point, you have to admit, he's the best player with a capital "b" in the middle of his name, maybe in the history of the game. [ laughter ] a little-known fact -- one of the reasons lebron decided to play for miami in the first place -- because his grandparents were complaining that he didn't come to visit enough. he's jewish, you know? [ laughter ] this is very funny. this happened during a time-out in the second quarter of game 2. chris bosh of the heat was
walking off the court and had this wonderfully awkward moment with his teammate, ronny turiaf. >> three-pointer, puts it back to 17, equaling the largest lead of the first half. >> jimmy: fundamentals -- you have to focus on the -- let's look at that again in slow-motion. you can see here. bosh goes up high. he tried -- oh, he does that. [ laughter ] and then the -- eh, let's throw the other hand in. i think oklahoma's many white people are starting to rub off on them. [ laughter ] we invited some kids here tonight. you know, twitter's become a big part of sports, especially the nba. lots of nba players tweet. and tonight, we're putting those tweets to music. this is a tweet from sebastian telfair of the phoenix suns, set to song by the "jimmy kimmel live" children's choir. please welcome them now. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ people see my whip on the rode and automatically want to race ♪ ♪ you gotta pump your breaks and drive slow homie ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is actually true. i learned that in driving class. there's some spelling errors in -- you want to hear another one? [ cheers and applause ] this tweet comes courtesy of wilson chandler of the denver nuggets. and sing for us again, kids. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ early pimp get da perm >> jimmy: great life lesson, especially for a little pimp. we're celebrating father's day this evening the best way we know how to celebrate any holiday -- with what we call a youtube challenge. every once in a while, i ask our viewers to pull a prank on their loved one and post it to youtube so we can play it on the show. this year, for father's day, i asked you to spray your dad with a hose and upload it with the title "hey, jimmy kimmel, i sprayed my dad with a hose." and, once again, you've delivered. here's some of our favorites. and all you dads out there, sorry. >> aah!
>> happy father's day. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: special thanks to my son, kevin, who is now going to have to figure out how to pay for college himself. tonight on the program, one of my favorite guys, tracy morgan, is here with us. and when we come back, another one of my favorite guys, guillermo, goes uno un uno with the thunder and the heat. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] [ female announcer ] healthier, more radiant skin...
♪ i put my hair in braids until it grows a little longer ♪ ♪ don't worry ♪ i'm not bringing braids back ♪ ha-ha relax [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, kids. hello. welcome back to our nba game night special. i'm jimmy. tonight on the program, one of the funniest men ever to show us his belly. you can see him live at the improv in west palm beach june 22 and 23. tracy morgan is here. [ cheers and applause ] and tonight, we have challenged tracy to take our 3-point challenge.
we set up a basketball hoop on hollywood boulevard. if tracy can make a 3-point shot, everyone in our studio audience tonight goes home with a fabulous prize. and, by the way, join us in prime time again on tuesday night with our guests, mark wahlberg and mila kunis, in a skype scavenger hunt pitting rajon rondo of the celtics against tyson chandler of the knicks. you know, with the eyes of the nation -- hi, guillermo -- on the thunder and the heat, every major media outlet in the world -- i just realized you were there -- descended on oklahoma city. and when the media descends, our very own guillermo descends with them. here's guillermo at media day. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. it's me, guillermo. i'm here in okla-homa for the nba finals. [ laughter ] let's go. wow, look. the thunders are practicing. everybody's here -- taboo sofolofa, serwho ivaku,
daekwa conk, nazr mohomo. and thank god derek fisher is here. what an easy name to pronounce -- derek fisher. derek fisher -- >> yes, sir? >> you're 65 years old. [ laughter ] are you not sick of basketball? >> no. >> huh? >> no, i'm not. >> what's next for mr. mar joe jumper? >> you huh? >> what's next for mr. mario jumper? >> what's next for my jumper? >> mr. james harden, why -- why the beard? why not only mustache? huh? >> what'd you say? >> why the beard? why not only mustache? mustache is more sexy. let me ask you, are you a hatfield or mccoy? >> what? [ laughter ] >> beard or mustache? i mean, beard or mustache? >> beard. >> beard? why? >> i don't know. i just like the look. >> look at my mustache. it's more sexy. [ laughter ] >> it's thicker, and i like the beard better, though. >> yeah? >> yeah.
you should get one now, man, because it's kind of creepy, you just got the mustache. >> all right. beard or mustache? >> i like the mustache. >> me too. >> yeah, i like your mustache. >> look, it's class. it's nice. it's all clean and everything. >> yeah. >> and the beard is like messy, huh? >> messy, yeah. >> when you drink cereal, you get all messy, huh? >> yeah, a little bit. >> yeah. [ applause ] i'm here for my exclusive interview with dwyane wayne. how are you doing? >> dwyane wade. >> dwyane wayne. >> yes, wade. >> wayne? >> wade. >> wayne? >> wade. >> wayne? >> wade. >> wade? >> yes. >> how do you spell it? >> w-a-d-e. >> w -- that's what i'm saying, wayne. >> you're saying wayne. >> wayne? >> yes. >> and what is it? >> it's wade. >> wayne? >> all right. beard or mustache? >> mustache or beard? >> yeah. >> both, combination. >> both why? >> combination. >> i like beard. >> that's a mustache. >> yeah. i like mustache, yeah. it's all clean and everything. beard -- look, like james harden, it's all, like, messy and everything. all sweaty when he touch you --
you're not afraid when he touches you, he'll be all sweaty? >> i hope not. >> no? >> i hope not. i hope i'm not that close where his beard got to get all in my face and touch like this. >> ah. that's good. let me try. >> it was weird. you can't get up. you can't reach. [ laughter ] >> no. you're too tall. i'm very excited. i'm about to do my exclusive interview with lebron james. hey, lebron. how are you? >> what's going on? >> everything good? >> everything's good. we're good to go. >> good. back to you, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you did it again, guillermo. we'll be right back with tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ portions of jimmy kimmel game
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. we are back. our guest tonight is a one-man halftime show. you know him from "30 rock" and "saturday night live," and you can see him performing live at the improv in west palm beach, florida, this coming friday and saturday. please welcome tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good, man! >> jimmy: i see you've brought a basketball. >> yeah. remind me of my days when i played for milwaukee in '73. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, man! we had this young kid, he came straight out of power memorial. and they told us his name was lew alcindor. >> jimmy: uh-huh, yeah. >> so, we get to the locker room. he said, "my name is kareem." i said, "you better get your ass in that locker room!" [ laughter ] "you know how many people i know from brooklyn named kareem?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was going to guess more than one. >> same thing with muhammad ali. "my name is muhammad ali." "i'm telling you, cassius, you better get in that dressing room." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he didn't listen, though, i gather. >> no. >> jimmy: no. hey, what's going on? i see you have the "number-one dad" deal on there.
>> yeah, my kids. >> jimmy: did your kids give you that for father's day? >> yeah, but they bought it with my money. >> jimmy: oh. >> it was bought with the change. it was bought with the change that was left over from mother's day. >> jimmy: really? [ laughter ] do you find are your kids more attentive as far as mother's day goes than father's day? >> yeah! everybody is like that! they get dinner cooked, pageantry, parades. i got a -- i think i got beat up one year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: by the children. >> i told them to call me mufasa. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and one of them got a bat. >> jimmy: oh. how old are your kids now? >> they old enough to take punches. [ laughter ] i don't call them "kids" no more. they're "dudes." >> jimmy: yeah, they're adults now, right? >> yeah, man. i got that baseball bat, man. [ laughter ] i don't just say, "wake up! wake up!" i don't go to their room and tell them to wake up. i say, "warriors, come out and play." [ cheers and applause ] i'm ajax. i'm ajax. >> jimmy: well, wait a minute.
now, you're engaged. isn't that correct? >> yeah. she's a wonderful woman. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] we going to get married and then she's going to get pregnant. >> jimmy: oh, you're going to have more kids? >> yeah. this is just a lunch break. >> jimmy: i see, i see. >> i got to get back to work in a few minutes. >> jimmy: are you looking forward to that -- having little kids? >> yes. i'm at my best when i'm a father, man. >> jimmy: you are? >> family first all the time with me. >> jimmy: okay. all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's the center of my universe, man. >> jimmy: and maybe you can get more jewelry out of the deal, too. >> yeah! >> jimmy: how many more kids do you want to have? >> i want to surpass bob marley. >> jimmy: bob marley? >> bob marley and gandhi. [ laughter ] i really want to give birth to a nation. [ laughter ] starting with you. >> jimmy: as a family, do you watch basketball? do you watch the nba games? >> yeah, man. i'm a big knicks fan. >> jimmy: right. >> i'm a big new york knicks fan. and i got to go to the training camp a few times with them this year. >> jimmy: you did? >> i took bill walker to the barn! [ laughter ] and i flopped. [ screams ]
>> jimmy: you did? >> that's how you flop -- [ screams ] >> jimmy: are you telling me you actually -- >> that's the lebron james style -- [ screams ] that's how you get a rebound. you got to make noise. [ screams ] and the test results finally came back. >> jimmy: what test results? >> sam bowie is my father. >> jimmy: he's your father? >> we thought it was roberto clemente. >> jimmy: that is very surprising. >> my aunt told me it was trent tucker. [ laughter ] i just wanted it to be michael ray richardson so bad. >> jimmy: you did, huh? >> the greatest point guard. that's the arguments about basketball. >> jimmy: who do you think is the greatest player of all time? >> bill cartwright. >> jimmy: bill cartwright? [ laughter ] >> just because his last name is cartwright. cartwright. >> jimmy: just because of that? well, michael jordan played with bill cartwright. >> you ever hear of bill cartwright? >> jimmy: bill was better than mike? he did do that. [ laughter ] was he someone you idolized growing up -- bill cartwright? >> yeah, he was one of them --
him and trip tucker. >> jimmy: did you ever meet him? have you ever had the opportunity? >> i thought for a long time clyde was my father -- clyde frazier. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's why my middle name is spalding. clydes by spalding. clydes by spalding. i sound like dracula, right? clyde by spalding. >> jimmy: do you socialize with any of the players? >> no. >> jimmy: no, you don't? >> i've got a fiancee. you ain't coming around my woman. >> jimmy: i see. [ laughter ] you're just being very careful. [ cheers and applause ] >> see, you're supposed to watch the game from courtside like this. you're watching the game. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but she's -- she's sitting right next to me, so i'm sitting like this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, maybe it's better to watch it at home. >> yeah, just watch it at home. women watch sports for different reasons than us. >> jimmy: well, sure. yeah, obviously. >> football players, yeah. >> jimmy: did you ever coach, like, a little league or anything like that? >> yeah.
i got biddies 8 years and under. >> jimmy: you did? >> last year, i coached a team 8 years and under. >> jimmy: last year? >> yeah. i got ejected twice. [ laughter ] teched up. coach, you're out. >> jimmy: for what? >> my brother-in-law was the ref, and he owed me $2,500 for alternators on my truck. >> jimmy: oh, i see. [ applause ] >> so, family, personal stuff spilled out onto the court with biddies. and they're playing for trophies this big. but i didn't care. i threw a gatorade bucket and a chair on the floor. they called me "the black bobby knight." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you played football, what, in high school, right? >> yeah, and i went to junior college. that's how i got this injury in my knee -- juco injury. it was a juco injury. i got monkey ligaments in my knee. >> jimmy: are you -- really? >> i ran like tony dorsett. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then what happened? >> i got injury. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> it had nothing to do with football. >> jimmy: but it was juco? >> shopping cart in a supermarket, because i was injury-prone. delicate like gale sayers. look. i used to wear my shirt cut like herschel walker. [ laughter ]
you know he had the biscuits? i have a loaf of bread. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> he had the six-pack. i had the 40. two 40s on both sides. >> jimmy: but your fiancee likes that, right? >> she loves it. >> jimmy: she does. >> when i go like this -- [ cheers and applause ] that's the mating call. [ laughter ] women hear that, and they come a-running. >> jimmy: that gets her excited? >> they come a-running. >> jimmy: have you played any basketball -- any organized basketball at all? >> i played -- pro-keds league back when i was younger, but no high school, no organized. all on the streets. >> jimmy: okay. because the reason i'm asking you is, because tonight, you have a big responsibility, and that is, you have to make a 3-point shot. and if you make that 3-point shot, everyone in this audience is going to get an xbox 360. [ cheers and applause ] so they're really counting on you. i think everybody's really counting on you here. >> hey, three seconds left, i want the rock. >> jimmy: okay, all right. well, we're going to get you the
rock. >> y'all win or lose with me. >> jimmy: we're going to get tracy morgan the rock. you can see him performing live at the improv at west palm beach this coming friday and saturday. be right back with the 3-point challenge starring tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ]. [ male announcer ] cookies with smooth caramel and chocolate. ♪ hmm twix.
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>> jimmy: hey, we're back with tracy morgan. no, not yet, not yet. it's not time yet. tonight, tracy will attempt to succeed where david spade and joel mchale -- you know, we had david spade try this shot. he did not make it. we had joel mchale try this shot. he did not make it. if you make it tonight, everyone in our studio audience goes home with a valuable prize. dicky, tell them what they can win. >> dicky: play all the biggest blockbuster games and watch all the best hd movies and sports on this brand-new xbox 360, home to the most anticipated game of the year, "halo 4." good luck. [ cheers and applause ] now, tracy, if you do not make this shot, this audience goes home empty-handed and full of rage. these are angry people. i don't know why they have the thunder sticks. usually, these are used to distract a player, but actually, everyone here is rooting for you to make this shot. if you feel confident -- i heard you had a wrist injury.
is that going to bother you here tonight? >> i don't think it will bother me. i caught this wrist injury in 1984. >> jimmy: oh, you did back in 1984? >> yeah, i tore some ligament, so they put monkey ligaments in there. >> jimmy: you have monkey ligaments in there, too? >> yes. >> jimmy: in your wrist and in your knee? >> that's why my hand look like a monkey. >> jimmy: all right, all right. well, we're going to do this. we're going to do one shot here. and if it goes in, everybody wins a prize. if it doesn't, everybody -- [ cheers and applause ] whenever you want. go crazy. there we go. the shot goes up. [ cheers and applause ] here it goes up. and it goes in. incredible. i want to thank tracy. you can see him in west palm beach friday and saturday. i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. congratulations. now stay tuned for game 3 of the nba finals here on abc.
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live! game night," presented by skype. tonight, mark wahlberg and mila kunis. plus, nba stars rajon rondo and tyson chandler. and now here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. it's me. i'm jimmy. and this is our nba "game night" special. but just because it's an nba special, we don't -- we don't just have to talk about basketball. we can talk about boyfriends, cookie dough, ryan gosling -- whatever you guys want, really. [ laughter ] but let's start with basketball. tonight, game 4 of the nba finals between the oklahoma city thunder and the miami heat. miami fans were out in full force at the americanairlines arena tonight, all wearing white because nothing is more welcoming to a group of primarily african-american men than a huge mob dressed in white. [ laughter ] this is kind of interesting -- maybe even surprising.
tickets to the games in miami are actually going for less money than tickets to the games in oklahoma city. they say the season ticket holders in oklahoma are more likely to hold onto their tickets and go to the game rather than scalp them, which drives up the price. and, also, they say there's more to do in miami -- there are more recreational activities there. you can go to the beach or -- i don't know -- watch gloria estefan chase ducks off her lawn. [ laughter ] we have some entertainment for you tonight. if you're familiar with the social networking site twitter, you know there are a lot of nba players on it because they gravitate toward the kardashians, who are also on it. [ laughter ] but tonight, we've compiled some of our favorite nba-player tweets, and as a special treat, we've also compiled a group of kids to sing them for you. so, here now, singing a tweet from tyson chandler of the new york knicks, please welcome the "jimmy kimmel live" children's choir. [ cheers and applause ] [ mid-tempo piano music plays ] ♪ my boy pacman just got robbed again ♪ [ laughter ] thanks.
i guess tyson was upset about the pacquiao fight -- either that or he believes video games are real. i don't know. [ laughter ] metta world peace of the los angeles lakers is using his time off right now to act in his first tv movie. it's called "the eleventh victim." it'll premiere on the lifetime network this fall. metta plays a detective. i really can't wait to see that, because i'm just gonna go out on a limb and guess that his acting will be stellar. and metta isn't the only nba star getting into the movies. kevin durant of the oklahoma city thunder is in a movie coming out in august. [ cheers and applause ] he plays himself. the movie is called "thunderstruck." the plot is, he somehow magically switches powers with a teenage boy. the boy becomes a great basketball player, and he becomes great at -- i don't know -- clearing his internet history before his mom gets home. [ laughter ] the movie is helmed by the director of "big momma's house 2" and costars jim belushi as the coach, so can you give a movie an oscar before it comes out? [ laughter ] here's the trailer. and i swear to you, this
is real. ♪ >> take this, man. you're gonna make that next shot. >> i wish i had your talent. [ pulsating ] >> i want to try out for the team again. >> tryouts are over, billy. >> oh! >> oh! ♪ unstoppable >> what is wrong with kevin durant? [ singing indistinctly ] >> i think i know where your game has gone. >> whoo! >> somebody took it. >> i want to give your talent back. >> you got him believing this nonsense, too? >> show him. >> show me what? >> the best? >> whoa. >> jimmy: martin scorsese's still at the top of his game. you know -- [ cheers and applause ] if you see only one movie this summer in which kevin durant plays himself and switches basketball skills with a teenage boy, make it "thunderstruck." [ laughter ] if we've learned anything from shaq, it's that, when an nba player acts, it doesn't usually turn out well. but now, finally, someone is
doing something about it. [ slow music plays ] >> hi. i'm gary oldman, actor. some of you may know me from such films as "dracula," "air force one," and "kung fu panda 2." now, just as a professional basketball player spends hours on the court mastering every aspect of his game, i, gary oldman, studied acting for many years to perfect my craft. and just as i, gary oldman, actor, would never try and join an nba team just because i'm famous, i, gary oldman, would very much appreciate it if professional basketball players would stay the [bleep] out of movies! who the hell told you you could [ bleep ] act -- the -- the director on your powerade commercial?! you're not [ bleep ] actors! some of you can't even speak [ bleep ] english! you suck! get it?!
you suck! now, you see how i did that? that's called "acting." did you feel the emotion? i can do that. you can't. [ laughter ] that's what i mean. [bleep] >> paid for by actors against acting athletes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, gary. very well said. tonight on the show, mark wahlberg and mila kunis are here. and we'll be right back with rajon rondo versus tyson chandler in an nba-player edition of our skype scavenger hunt, so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] [ thunk ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello and welcome back to our nba "game night" special. i'm shaquille o'kimmel. tonight on the program, two actors from the new movie "ted," mark wahlberg and mila kunis, are here. both mark and mila have agreed to take our three-point challenge tonight. we have a basketball court set up outside our theater on hollywood boulevard. they'll each get a chance to make a 3-pointer. if they do, everyone in our studio audience wins a valuable prize, and it's a good one, too. and then you can join us later at our regular time tonight after "nightline." our guests are sally field, kevin love of the minnesota timberwolves, and
we'll have music from waka flocka flame, so join us then. you know, from time to time, we play a game here called the skype scavenger hunt. we skype with people in their homes, and we have them race to find things that might be laying around the house. usually, we play with viewers, but tonight, our contestants are nba players. in fact, joining us now from the new york knicks, by way of calabasas, california, the nba defensive player of the year, tyson chandler. hello, tyson. [ cheers and applause ] >> hello, jimmy. >> jimmy: thanks for doing this, tyson. how tall are you, tyson? >> i'm 7'1". >> jimmy: 7'1". okay, now, i'm worried you may bang your head running from room to room. are the arches customized there at your house? >> yeah. yeah, the doorways are high. i don't have to worry about it. >> jimmy: oh, okay, good. we want you to navigate it safely. and your opponent tonight -- all-star point guard for the boston celtics, coming to us from his home in boston, rajon rondo. hello, rajon. >> hi there. >> jimmy: how are you? >> excellent. >> jimmy: you just moved into a new place, i hear. >> yeah. [ laughs ] a couple weeks. >> jimmy: so, do you think you have all the supplies you might
need to win this? because i may ask you to go deep and get some stuff, all right? >> all right, i'll see what i got. >> jimmy: okay, good. all right, gentlemen. let's put them up side by side. if you could, go ahead and shake virtual hands. it's time to play an nba edition of the skype scavenger hunt. this is a simple game. it's a scavenger hunt. i'm gonna ask you to find an item, and your job is to bring it back as quickly as you can. are you ready? >> yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your first challenge is to bring back the last thing you read, whichever one is -- whichever one i deem funnier wins. [ laughter ] all right, there they go. look at that chair. that's a good-looking chair. we don't have chairs like that in my house. all right, rajon, what do you have? you have got -- what is that -- "fifty shades of grey"? [ laughter ] "the other wes moore"? >> "the other wes moore." >> jimmy: okay, i don't know that book, but the way -- it looks like it might be a good one. tyson's having a little bit more difficult time.
tyson's gone. tyson went to the library or something. oh, there he is.zw(ñ and, tyson, the book you have is -- >> "jerry west." that's jerry west? oh, okay, well, we're gonna have to give that to rajon. [ cheers and applause ] how far -- where is your library? is it in another wing of the house? >> that -- that was a long room. >> jimmy: all right. >> a long run. >> jimmy: all right. the next item -- bring back something your teammates would make fun of you if they knew you owned it. [ laughter ] all right. [ laughs ] that chair is from the king louis collection, i believe. i'm -- i'm obsessed with that chair. okay. [ laughter ] all right, tyson. what is that? >> flying pig. >> jimmy: it's a flying pig? what's it made out of? >> i don't know -- something heavy, though -- probably steel.
>> jimmy: [ laughing ] all right. how long have you had that thing? >> uh, about a week or two. >> jimmy: okay. do you sleep with it or anything -- any -- [ laughs ] >> no, it was on the counter there. >> jimmy: okay. >> decoration. >> jimmy: where did you buy it? did you actually go and purchase that? >> i think it came from a flea market. >> jimmy: okay, all right. very good. oh, and look at who's back. back -- rajon, you're back. >> yeah, i'm back. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is that? is that a telephone? >> yeah, i'm 2. >> jimmy: all right. all right, well, that's not -- neither one of these is particularly embarrassing, but we're gonna give that to tyson. so we're even now, and we have a final challenge, the tiebreaker. [ cheers and applause ] first man to come back wearing a wig wins this thing. go. [ laughter ]
if you don't have a wig, come up with something good. and there they go. they are off. wait a minute. did it seem like rajon actually is now in tyson's house? [ laughter ] nice places, by the way. they must be millionaires. [ laughter ] right. we're still waiting. we will give you a half point for a weave. [ laughter ] all right. all right. all right. you look a -- a disney prince or something. [ laughs ] all right. >> my daughter's beach towel. >> jimmy: that's not a wig -- not a wig. well, let's see what rajon comes back with. [ laughing ] all right, now, that's gonna -- you know what? that's gonna win it. [ laughter ] all right, you know what? we're gonna have to call this one a tie, because this is --
i've tabulated the scores, and we're gonna call this a tie. tell them what they win, dicky. >> dicky: jimmy, for their superior efforts, rajon and tyson q(h win two tickets to see "thunderstruck." when a hopelessly uncoordinated young fan magically switches talents with his hero kevin durant, he becomes the star of his high-school team. "thunderstruck." coming to theaters eventually. >> jimmy: all right. are you guys excited to see kevin durant in "thunderstruck"? [ laughs ] thanks to tyson chandler and rajon rondo. we'll be right back with mark wahlberg and mila kunis. [ mid-tempo music plays ] [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live! game night" are brought to you by skype, bringing people together whenever they are apart. for more information, go to skype.com. [ male announcer ] it's back again at red lobster,
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, and welcome back. our guests tonight are not professional basketball players -- they are actors, but combined, they are more than 11 feet tall. they have a new movie called "ted" opening in theaters june 29th. please say hello to mark wahlberg and mila kunis. [ cheers and applause ] >> good to see you. >> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm good. how are you? >> jimmy: yeah? you guys all right? everything good? >> i'm good. i'm superexcited, dude. >> jimmy: why are you excited? >> i need to thank you personally because the last -- was it the last time i was here? my dear friend nacho -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah, nacho. >> -- the extreme was on the show. [ laughter ] and because of jimmy's good graces to have him on the show, he now has his own show -- i swear to god. he's filming a show starting next week with the real
johnny drama for fuel tv called "nacho extreme." >> jimmy: now, this guy -- nacho -- have you met nacho? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: he eats things. >> she worked with nacho. >> i worked with nacho. nacho's on set every day. >> he worked on "ted." >> jimmy: oh, he did? >> yeah. >> oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> until he got fired -- he got a little crazy. >> jimmy: did he get fired? >> he ripped the rear-view q of my friend's car, trying to kill him. >> his friends are crazy. >> and i ended up getting stabbed in the thumb by my other friend -- i won't mention his name. >> jimmy: what's going on with you and these friends? i mean -- [ laughter ] >> it's only in boston. #p4w they stay in boston, but when i'm there, i've got to, you know, give them a job and put them in the movie and, you know -- >> jimmy: because, in boston, you're - i mean, you're their favorite son there. people go crazy for you. >> yes, but -- >> it all depends. i've loved it and hate it. >> people on the street -- everybody is related to mark in some form or another. it's really what -- and i do remember this. in the beginning, i was a little like -- everybody -- it doesn't matter who it was. somebody on the street would be like, "yo, girl, what's up? you got to tell my boy mark that shorty, his cousin, says, 'what's up?'" and i was like, "all right,
shorty, his cousin." be like, "mark, some guy named shorty, your cousin, said, 'what's up?'" mark's like, "all right, all right. cool, cool, cool." next day, it would be like, "yo, girl, what's up? you're working with my bro. he my cousin, mark. you know, tell him billy bong says, 'what's up?'" i was like, "okay, sure." everybody was related to him. >> jimmy: do you have a cousin named billy bong? [ laughter ] >> i don't know. i always just said, "yeah, cool. if you see him again, tell him i said 'hi.'" >> 'cause, yeah. >> i usually don't know who they're talking about. >> jimmy: so, what happens, like, if you try to go to a celtics game or something? do you know everyone there, or do they act like they know you? >> you know what? i never went to a celtics game until the boston garden was already gone. and i went a couple years ago, promoting something for the other guys. but we did go -- the bruins were playing in the stanley cup when we were shooting the movie, so we went to not one home game, but two home games. and i went with 30 guys, and we only had 12 tickets. but the woman backstage at the garden, she's there, and she's so happy to see me, so i just start hugging her, and everybody just ushers by. [ laughter ] >> she was probably related to him. >> and then we just all hung out by the bar and took other people's seats. it was a lot of fun. [ laughter ]
but i -- i've literally been to more celtics games in l.a. than i have in boston. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and what about your kids? are they celtics fans? are they lakers fans? >> oh, my god. my kids -- they like the lakers. i just told kobe -- i saw kobe the other night at the guys' choice awards. and he was like, "i know you like boston." i said, "actually, i'm coming around, because my kids -- i keep telling them they should like the celtics, but they were all born in l.a. and they remind me of that, so they're all lakers fans." >> jimmy: oh, this is blasphemy. i mean, you have no cousins left in boston now. [ laughter ] >> i let it slide with the kids. the kids can do whatever they want. >> jimmy: mila, last time you were here, you mentioned that you were on a very strict diet for the movie "black swan," and that you'd just gone off the diet and -- and you -- you were hitting the panda express pretty hard. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i do remember this because i think it's what started the entire panda express thing last year of, like, i ended up getting probably like a thousand free, like, three-piece meal things from panda express of, like, two entrees and, like, a vegetable thing. they've all literally gone. like, they're disappeared. it's been a year. my brother took all of them.
>> jimmy: oh, i thought nacho absolutely have been involved in that. [ laughter ] your brother took them all? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and your brother ate a thousand panda express meals? >> it was a couple hundred -- i'm not even kidding you. and i think he took his current girlfriend out on dates every single night to panda express. it got so bad that she was literally like, "no, we're gonna break up if there's a single date that takes" -- and so -- sorry, mike. >> jimmy: she's a lucky lady, huh? >> no way. she's gonna kill me for it. >> and nacho -- nacho doesn't eat real food. >> jimmy: no. yeah, that's right. >> no. >> jimmy: nacho drinks -- >> just tabasco sauce. >> he'll eat your desk. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this movie, by the way -- it's hysterically funny. seth macfarlane wrote and directed this movie -- the guy from "family guy," your co-worker for many years at "family guy." >> yeah. i've known seth -- yes, since i was 15. >> jimmy: since you were 15 years old. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and so, well, now that you're an adult, is that a weird thing, when he's writing things for you to do? >> well, now they're, like, more sexual, so, yeah, maybe a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like, before, i was, like, a kid, and now he's like, "so, now, you're gonna" -- but, no, seth is great. like, i do love working with seth. he's, you know, one of my oldest friends, and -- and we have an amazing shorthand on set. >> jimmy: tell us the basic idea behind the film.
>> you go ahead. >> you go ahead. [ laughter ] >> well, basically, it's about this young boy who has no friends, and he gets a teddy bear for christmas. and if you squeeze it, basically, it says, "i love you," kind of like a teddy ruxpin. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> although, if i say "teddy ruxpin" around ted, he gets very upset. >> jimmy: he gets angry. >> so, and then, he makes this wish that the bear would come to life, and of course, his ññr christmas wish is granted. and cut to them at 30-something-years-old. they're now grown up. the bear was kind of like a child star, but nobody really gives a [ bleep ] anymore.ñtr but i have this wonderful girlfriend played by mila, but i still have this friend that, you know, we smoke [ bleep ] and we get into a lot of trouble. and you know, he gets me sniffing [ bleep ] and he's bringing hookers back to our house. and you know, the hookers [ bleep ] on the floor, and he's just basically causing -- he's causing a lot of problems. so she says, "look, i love ted, too, but, you know, you got to grow up." and i'm like, "well, i'd actually really rather have ted, but i don't have" -- there's only one good-looking girl in boston, and it's her. so -- so then -- but -- you know, it's much more than that. there's a real story and you know, this -- it's great relationships, and, you know, a
lot of crazy things happen. >> jimmy: it really is. >> i don't want to give away the plot. >> jimmy: it's kind of like a very strange version of "puff, the magic dragon." >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i think we have a clip here from the movie "ted." >> oh, cool. >> johnny, how about a beer, huh? >> oh, a couple charles brew-kowskis? >> a couple of brew-stoyevskys? >> maybe a mike brew-guslawski. >> perhaps a tedy brew-schi? >> that's a good one. >> you know what? i think i, too, want a martina navrati-brewski. >> oh, no, no, no, no, no. >> oh, no, no. that doesn't work. >> no, no, no. don't ruin it. no. >> that totally works. >> no, no. >> yeah, it does. >> it doesn't work. >> it doesn't work. >> the name has to have a "ski" at the end of it, and you just put "brewski" at the end of martina navratilova, so -- >> well, i just thought we were saying funny names. >> no, no. it has -- it has to have a "ski" at the end of it. otherwise, where's the challenge? you know, if there's no "ski" at the end of the root word, then we would just be idiots saying nonsense. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he makes a very good point -- that teddy bear. when we come back, we're gonna go outside on hollywood boulevard, and we're gonna give you each an opportunity to make a three-point shot. and if you do, everyone in our audience is gonna get an xbox 360.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the scene is hollywood boulevard. the competitors -- mark wahlberg and mila kunis. tonight, their mission is to make a single three-point shot. if either of them is successful, everyone in our studio audience goes home with a fabulous prize. cocky, tell them what they