tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 5, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT
"jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- channing tatum, director paul feig, and music from pharrell williams with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for watching, thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i appreciate it. if you're wondering what happened to my eye.
i'll tell you what happened. some jerk back stage was mouthing off about you guys. he said this was not a good audience. said you're a bunch of losers and boozers, so i shoved him, and he punched me right in the face. this happened because i was defending your honor. i guess that makes me your hero. tatum is all ready to get channing tonight. channing tatum is here today. on the same day that the supreme court paved the way for gay marriage. so am i the luckiest guy in the world or what? [ cheers and applause ] channing has a new movie called "white house down." and we'll see some of that. and we have outtakes from the i want channing tatum, but for now, let's try to focus on paula deen, who did show up on her interview with matt lauer, she
cancelled last week. she admitted she used the word "n," the same one your uncle uses. and since then, her empire has crumbled. the ham company she endorsed let her go. not a joke. now, today, walmart announced they will no longer stock her food products. and home depot said they won't carry whatever crap she sells to them either. this is the biggest scandal in the world of celebrity chefs, i think since mario bertel had sex. it got off to a rocky start when she tossed her keys to al roker. but -- it was an emotional interview. her message, though, was simple. her message was please keep paying me millions of dollars to eat mayonnaise on television. she even had her makeup artist draw her eyebrows curling
upwards to the middle, and to show her remorse. she broke down when she talked about her grandson. >> i'll tell you about a conversation with my 7-year-old grandson. he stayed the night with me and i allowed him to stay up later than his bedtime, and i said -- i said you got me in trouble when you told your mommy and daddy that i let you stay up late. and he was playing with his ipad. and he looked up and he said, i don't tell lies. >> oh, gosh. >> jimmy: there is a silver lining in every situation. that is the thing, so -- i will say, by the way -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: as an italian-american, i'm offended by her grandson's use of the word guinea.
at the end of the interview, she said i is what i is. i believe she was quoting gandhi. and she also issued an unusual challenge to her detractors. >> is there anyone out there that has never said something that they wish they could take back? if you're out there, please pick up that phone. and throw it so hard at my head that it kills me. please. >> jimmy: well, you know what? she did ask for it. [ cheers and applause ] i'm sure she will be fine. very interesting, since this story broke, pre-sales of paula deen's upcoming cookbook have skyrocketed. the book is called paula deen's recipes, 250, on monday it was
1500th on amazon, now it is 6th. to be fair, the only "n" word they use in the book is nutmeg, this is the kind of thing they can't afford to ignore. they made changes to wolfgang puck's book, it is called "i hate mexicans." what do you think of that, guillermo? >> it is crazy. >> jimmy: and the supreme court handed down the decision on the same-sex marriage today. until today it was defined as a contract between one man, one woman and the producers of "the bachelor" but that is no longer the case. in a 5-4 vote,ñi they struck do the defense of the marriage act that denied benefits to gay couples. every person must spend at least
one yethe supreme court also considered proposition 8 which banned same-sex marriage here in california. the court ruled they didn't have the right to appeal its reversal. which means once again same-sex marriage will be legal in this state. the only catch is gays will be required to use straight wedding planners. there is a lot of news coverage of the rulings today. but the best news is on fox.com. this is the picture they ran on foxnews.com. really captured the historic significance of the ruling. it was a very good day for the lesbian couple who challenged the prop 8 in court. not only was the ruling a major victory this couple got a call from president obama while they were being interviewed live on msnbc. >> the president is on the line. from air force one, president obama, go ahead.
>> mr. president, this is khris perry, we thank you so much for your support. >> well, you're very welcome. and i just want to say, happy gay weddings to you. happy lesbian weddings to you. happy wedding -- dear gays, lesbians -- happy weddings to you. do you hear my phone? what did you think? >> thank you, mr. president. >> yes, i wrote it myself. >> well, thank you, and while we celebrate today we know we have to roll up our sleeves and get to work for those in the 37 states that didn't get marriage equality. but we're well on our way, and we thank you for the leadership. you're invited to the wedding. >> that sounds terrible -- >> good-bye, thank you, mr. president >> jimmy: wow, what a weird thing for him to say, i think he is taking advantage of those air force one mimosas. and there is another scandal brewing in the irs, an internal
watch group claimed the irs workers used credit cards to buy seemingly inappropriate things. one irs worker bought diet pills, romance novels and steaks to the irs. i don't know who that person is, but sounds like they may have a sadder life than bruce jenner, even. parts of the agency were also used to pay for kazoos, stuffed animals, and nerf balls is the irs running an underground chucky cheese we don't know about it? two of the irs cards were used to purchase -- if only two of the company employees used the credit card to buy porn, i consider that a win? i saw a commercial today, made in china, i feel compelled to share it with you. it is an d for a product called
energy noodles. as far as i can tell, they give you a lot of energy. [ speaking in a foreign language ] >> jimmy: no wonder productivity is so high. >> jimmy: remember, if your mega bonus lasts more than four hours, please consult a physician. >> and espn announcing their body issue is going to feature nude photographs of a number of athletes, including 77-year-old golfer gary player, which is a big deal, because if you wanted to see a naked 77-year-old man in the past you had to go to the
locker room at 24-hour fitness. i don't understand, i bet even gary player doesn't want to see gary player naked. but hey, maybe this will inspire older people to play golf. the race for mayor of new york city is getting interesting. the new poll shows that for the first time, the disgraced former congressman anthony weiner is the frontrunner. he was caught sending photos of his crotch while having the name weiner, simultaneously. he has 25% of his vote, in no small part thanks to this campaign that has been running. >> my weiner is strong. >> my weiner is proud. >> my weiner stands up for women. >> my weiner stands up for new york. >> my weiner is a good weiner. r >> a firm weiner. >> my weiner has a mole on it. >> it is time to give my weiner another chance.
>> let's put my weiner to work. >> because my weiner is your weiner. >> my weiner is new york's weiner, and new york needs weiner, anthony weiner for mayor. paid for by, a bunch of new york weiner lovers. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break, but when we come back from that break we shot a special edition of "liewitness news." i think you will enjoy it. plus, channing tatum and music from pharrell. so don't ever leave me. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ unh ♪ ♪ hey! ♪ ♪ let's go! ♪ [ male announcer ] you can choose to blend in. ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, everybody, welcome back, channing tatum, paul feig, and pharrell are on, but snoop dog hosts a show on the channel, called the double g news network. he hosts the show under the pseudonym, host, he discusses all manner of important things, occasionally he will give an opinion on a theme park. >> we have a seaworld in miami. >> you have to go to the one in san diego, it was nice, i went out there, the little walrus came on there, i love them. >> jimmy: maybe he will change his name to snoop walruses, he loves them. one more thing. you know, justin bieber, you
live here you know he had a big two-night stand at the staple center. if you missed it, it went baby, baby, baby, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, and then he went home. but as you know, justin bieber fans can be obsessive, so we thought this would be a good excuse to have fun with them. so we sent a camera crew to ask their opinions on what we said about him. turns out, the answer is very, very blind. this is a special edition of justin bieber lie witness news. >> we're upset at justin bieber because his new bentley has tires made out of baby seals, should they just leave him alone. >> yeah, i think that is his choices that they don't need to criticize on, because everybody else makes mistakes like that too, and they don't criticize them, just him. >> he is angry at justin bieber because his new tires are made out of baby seals, should they just leave him alone?
>> yeah, because he can do whatever he wants. >> now, justin has said because of his touring schedule he doesn't have time to learn how to read. do you think he needs to learn how to read? >> no. >> especially if he is beautiful -- do you think justin was demented when he peed on the american flag? >> no, no, i don't think he did. just you know, just being a teenager. >> what do you think he meant when he peed on the flag? >> just a joke. >> do you think it was funny? >> yeah, it was funny. >> do you think justin bieber meant it when he peed on the american flag? >> i think he is just a young kid going through a phase, and i don't think he meant anything bad. my daughter was upset, but still a fan of his. >> was your daughter pretty upset over that. >> she still likes him a lot. >> over a game of cribbage,
justin punched the person so hard she had to go to the hospital. is that okay? >> it depends. >> well, like what happened before that. >> well, she was clearly cheating. well, he is a boy, and boys mess around a lot. i don't think he meant to hurt her that much. >> what do you think of justin's new tattoo. >> i think whatever tattoo he gets is perfect on him, honestly. >> this is mike tyson with a mustache >> here is justin's newest arm tattoo. do you think it is hot that he has judge judy tattooed on his harm? >> yeah. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> so this one is very exciting. he got this last week. take a look. >> i love tattoos and i think it is so creative. he uses the belly button. pretty sexy, you like it? >> yeah, i love it.
>> do you think justin should be allowed to park his new ferrari in a handicapped spot? >> yeah, i think, he is awesome. >> what if a handicapped woman was trying to park in that spot that justin bieber was in? >> i would actually make her wait, because justin bieber is justin bieber. >> do you think justin should be able to park his new ferrari in the handicapped spots? >> yeah, he is like god, kiss the ground he walks on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, we have got a big show tonight, the director of the new movie, paul feig is here. we have music from pharrell williams. we'll be right back so stick around. my name is paul ridley. to benefit cancer research i rode across the atlantic. crossing an ocean with your body as the motor, it hurts.
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the "despicable me 2" sound track, pharrell williams will be here. and joining me, on friday, he teams up with jamie foxx in the new movie, "white house down." on friday he teams up with jamie foxx in the new movie "white house down." channing tatum. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm doing well. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they have come to life all of a sudden. >> how are you, sir? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, i know you have been on this big press tour, has it been a good one? >> it has been good, i cannot keep up with jamie foxx, seriously, i don't know how he does it. like in miami, we literally had
to do telemundo in the morning, he had stayed up partying, i was like i got six hours of sleep, i'm done. >> jimmy: the key is to never sleep at all. it is like a constant party. he seems like he has fun in every situation. >> i feel like somehow, people just follow him around with turn tables and a microphone. every where he goes it is just everywhere. >> jimmy: and to me, you seem like the kind of guy who likes to have fun and hang out, but compared to him, like -- compared to him, you're like me, probably, right? >> i don't know what you're like. i haven't exactly burned it down with you. >> jimmy: nothing going on a lot. but yeah, so it is hard to keep up with him. i would imagine it is, but fun probably? >> the best time i've had in my entire life, i hope to work with him for a long, long time. you see the music video. he is just on fire in this thing.
>> jimmy: meanwhile, your wife is home with a new baby, and you're traveling around the world with jamie. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you have to do that thing where you pretend you didn't have a good time? >> absolutely, baby -- keep it down. such a hard day. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter now? >> she is 27 days old. >> jimmy: wow, well, that is nice. a good chunk of her life, you have been on this tour, you're in england, right? shooting a movie there? and when will they come back to the united states? >> very soon, very soon, we just got a baby passport for her, which is funny, i don't understand why you need a baby passport for her, they all look like the gerber baby. >> jimmy: so on the pass port is a picture of her of a baby? >> yeah, which is hilarious, because the only picture, she has the specs like that, what are you going to look at the passport?
can she make the face for me? i don't think she is the right baby. >> jimmy: and what happens when she is seven, and she is handing this baby passport -- you know, are they going to accept that? i could be wrong, but i think they give you a little passport in the box with the cabbage patch babies -- are they at home? >> no, i stored them like in a village in england. it is amazing, the countryside in england is beautiful. we go for walks, it is an area with a lot of land around it. you feel like fairies are just going to fly out everywhere. >> jimmy: really? and there is a lot of paparazzi over in that area. is that why you did that? >> they would take pictures of jenna before she had it, but we just kind of ran away from everybody and got away. they were even staying outside the studio, following me home.
and we were doing this sort of smuggling me in the back of cars and trunks. one time i even bailed out of the car and ran into the woods. i had to have somebody come pick me up a half hour later, i'm like sweating on a golf course, hiding under a bridge. >> jimmy: what kind of dad do you think you will be when she is a teenager? >> suicidal? i don't know, if she is anything like i was. >> jimmy: were you bad? >> well you know, the normal stuff, sneak out. and what not >> jimmy: you would sneak out? >> yes. >> jimmy: on week nights? >> yes, my dad would snore, the windows would collapse a little bit, we had a sliding glass door, because it was florida, and on the inhale of the snore, you would be just like -- [ noises ] >> and you know you slide out.
but it sucked when you came home and he wasn't snoring. one time i had to like basically sleep outside, not sleep outside, but i had to wait. he was sleeping. but -- i was like no, not yet. i'm not about to walk in and he is going to be just like what are you doing? >> jimmy: now, i want to ask you about the music video, were you in london when channing all over your tatum came out? >> yes, thank you very much for that. >> jimmy: and now we very much regret, because i was thinking, hard to get out of your head, and i was thinking you would hear it for the rest of your life. >> i am so afraid people would think i'm such an egomaniac, because i walk around singing my name, you know how you sing so much about something, that it is not that anymore. half the people that don't know me, they're like oh, my god. he just loves himself, doesn't he? >> jimmy: a kanye west level of egomania.
it was funny, i was thinking it was a great thing. and then i thought maybe it is a mistake, it could have been a big mistake. >> even on hoda and kathie lee, she was like will you hoda all over my coffee -- >> jimmy: we had some of the outtakes that didn't make the channing all over your tatum video. nothing too terrible, but i think people will enjoy it. ♪ and i know -- ♪ >> definitely broke that. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ noises ] deadl definitely broke that mike.
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>> i lost the rocket launcher. >> you what? how do you lose a rocket launcher? >> jimmy: that is channing tatum, and that is "white house down." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it opens on friday. you know, maggie gyllenhaal was here, and said while she loved it she wouldn't support channing tatum in the presidency. >> it would be a party, we could have just two years of complete partying. it would be a party on the steps of the white house. >> jimmy: i agree, i think it would be a lot of fun. i know you screened the movie in washington, d.c., for the head of homeland security, janet napolitano. >> it was unreal, i was wondering how many dots did i have on my forehead? just let them make a move, we'll take them out. >> jimmy: the idea of her going to a movie -- it is kind of strange. >> i was like don't you have to protect something? >> jimmy: making sure nobody
sneaks into the theater. did you talk to her at all? >> yes, so is so funny, at the very end, she lets me know, though, she pulled me close at the end and said "never show fear." and i was never so scared in my entire life. i was like yes, ma'am -- i wanted to like salute. >> jimmy: do you think she meant that sexually? >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: it is possible. >> not possible, i guess. >> jimmy: you know, i want to give you something. i have a little gift for you, a little something for your daughter. a memento from the music video that you were nice enough to shoot for us. here you go, that is for you. this is a little baby -- a little baby channing all over your tatum onesy, that is what they call them, right? [ cheers and applause ]ñr >> jimmy: why do we have a feeling we'll see you squeezing
into that at some point? well, it is very good to see you. well, congratulations on the movie and the baby. channing tatum, everybody "white house down," in theaters friday. we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, with paul feig. ♪ ♪ applebee's new take two seasonal menu lets you choose two of five seasonal favorites starting at just $10.99. [ male announcer ] that sounds like a lot of choices. exactly! and the flavors complement each other perfectly.
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come music from pharrell williams. our next guest created the fondly-remembered "freaks & geeks" and the movie "bridesmaids," among many other things. his latest directorial effort with sandra bullock and melissa mccarthy is called "the heat." it opens friday. please welcome paul feig. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> it is so exciting when there is a film director on the show, isn't is it? >> jimmy: no, the audience goes crazy, tell us about yourself, where are you from? >> michigan, a michigan boy, born and raised.
>> jimmy: detroit -- even our warmup guy is from detroit. and he didn't say anything. >> i saw him hiding, son of a retailer, my dad owned a army surplus store when i was growing up. >> jimmy: is that a good deal when your dad -- i mean, is there anything in it for you? >> well, the only thing that is in it for you, your 5 years old, your dad says you're going to come work for me, so basically, free child labor. >> jimmy: i would imagine you get a free discount on canteens. what did you do there? >> everything that nobody else wanted to do. i was in charge of cleaning the bathrooms, which i did until i was 18 years old. i had no seniority over anybody else. but it launched my career. he allowed me to write, direct and star in the tv commercials
for his store. >> jimmy: and star in them? >> yes, and you can imagine how good i was. i was obsessed with steve martin. so i had a three-piece white suit, and the high boys. >> jimmy: and exactly how old were you? >> i was 15, there were three series, first, the steve martin suit. and then groucho marx, and the tarzan. a spicy tarzan spot. >> jimmy: all three, focusing in on the army demographic. >> a full army experience, if you like. what was the commercial like, what would you do? >> it was basically me talking to the camera, wearing different outfits. but then i eventually had the other employees wear the outfits and i would mince about in my comedy gear. >> jimmy: and did you become a local celebrity? >> i thought i would be so famous. first day it aired, i thought today is the last day i can walk the streets. because i will be mobbed. it didn't happen. and i kept waiting for it to happen. and one day i was working behind the counter.
the big hunter guy comes in. he says you're the kid from the commercial, i said thank you very much, and he said well, i didn't say i liked it. so that is the respect i got. >> jimmy: you were unable to achieve your dream of becoming a local celebrity. >> a local laughing stock. >> jimmy: that is unfortunate. how did you become a performer? >> i mean, i noodled around in the high school drama club. but my big claim to fame was i was ronald mcdonald, at age 17 in toledo, ohio. >> jimmy: now, that is a very young ronald. wait a minute, you actually moved to take a job at ronald mcdonald? >> no, i was transported over the border. i was in community theater, the guy who ran it was named tom shaker who was the ronald mcdonald for the detroit metro area. he was famous, because he was one of two recipients for the golden shoe award.
>> jimmy: wow, how do you get that? he got it, i was there that day. he is flying to a new mcdonald's in a helicopter. it is coming in, it hits a power line, the helicopter crashes in front of hundreds of horrified children. he crawls out of the wreckage, takes his wig, and gets up and does his magic show. [ cheers and applause ] >> exactly. but that was like who is the other guy that got the gold shoe award? did he save a platoon in vietnam? >> jimmy: and for that he got the golden shoe. >> the golden shoe, and realized he could branch out into toledo, ohio. >> jimmy: well, were you a good ronald? well, you're no tom shaker. >> he said i can do this, i can do magic, juggle, we'll take you down to toledo and show you to the mcdonald's people. so i got the full gear, and the minute i get there, right before i walk in he says i told them you have been doing this for a
long time. and he sends me in. ronald wore enormous shoes which i never wore before. so this was pretty much my entrance into the room. the expert ronald walks in like that. >> jimmy: were they angry? >> well, i played it off as comedy. i was sort of the clumsy ronald. i had these balls, they were lighter than nerf balls to juggle. >> jimmy: are you sure that tom was not screwing with you, it sounds like he might have been. did you actually work as -- did you get the job? >> i got the gig, my first gig, they send me to the closing day of school, you know, the last day of school, elementary school. and all the mcdonald's reps are in the back. i'm trying to do this magic show, doing a poor decision, i said let's do the chicken mcnuggets.
i did this pan, i take a top off and a rubber chicken jumped out. i see all of them writing no, do not do that. then i panicked, i'm like okay, i'm going to give out candy, i went down, you're supposed to have them come to a safe area. and then bring the kids in. i go down, it was like the beatles had walked in. they attack, they reach into my pockets, he has candy. they tear my pockets off. candy is flying everywhere. and i'm getting mobbed. i had more candy, i take it, throw it in the air. give the candy, they all run, i run out of the place with my ronald assistant. i am like get in the car, he pulls up, i'm like get out. i jump in the car and rev it up. and i see the head of mcdonald's in toledo. he is running toward me with a big smile on his face, running, ronald, ronald, i shake his hand, he goes ronald doesn't drive.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ronald doesn't drive! like a human pinata for a time there. >> yes, it was wonderful. >> jimmy: and then you came out to los angeles? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you come out as a kid here? >> i mean, actually, i was 17, right around that same time i had done that and decided i wanted to try to get into show biz. found out i could audition to be a tour guide for universal studios. came out, my friend and i drove out for 36 hours, i said we have to go to hollywood boulevard. we have to go, there will be stars everywhere. we pull up in front of your theater. i pull up, this kid from michigan, we stop, horrifying. and then two hookers jump literally on the hood of my car, and they run off. i don't know why they did. i personally think it was my father's way to get me to move back to michigan, for 50 bucks,
will you jump on his car? >> jimmy: well, it is very nice to meet you. the movie it called "the heat." like the team, that has got to be a good sign, right? it is exciting. >> you know, it is sandra bullock and melissa mccarthy, you can't grow wrong with them. >> jimmy: well, congratulations. paul feig. we'll be right back with pharrell williams. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony.
nicaragu concert series is brought to you by sony. >> jimmy: in theaters on july 3rd, here it is, pharrell williams. the song called "happy," from the el rey theater. pharrell williams. ♪ it might seem crazy what i'm about to say sunshine she's here you can take away ♪ ♪ i'm a hot air balloon that could go to space ♪
♪ with the air like i don't care baby by the way ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ ♪ here come bad news talking this and that yeah give me all you got don't hold back ♪ ♪ yeah well i should probably warn you i'll be just fine ♪ ♪ yeah no offense to you don't waste your time here's why ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪
♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ everybody in the middle get down with me. ♪ happy come on bring me down ♪ happy come on bring me down ♪ love is too happy to bring me down come on bring me down ♪ ♪ i said bring me down come on bring me down ♪ ♪ love is too happy to bring me down come on bring me down ♪ ♪ i said ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪
♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do ♪ ♪ happy come on bring me down ♪ happy come on bring me down ♪ love is too happy to bring me down come on bring me down ♪ ♪ i said bring me down come on bring me down ♪ ♪ love is too happy to bring me down come on bring me down ♪ ♪ i said ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ ♪ because i'm happy clap along if you know what happiness is to you ♪