tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 17, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT
you know, it is supposed to get hot this weekend, there is a heat wave heading towards the southwestern united states. in the valley in l.a., it is supposed to get to 104 here, which is dangerous, because a lot of our women here in l.a. are 40% plastic. experts say that on saturday, temperatures in las vegas could hit a record 120 degrees. and other non-experts, people who don't know what they're talking about say it could reach 2,000 degrees. i grew up in las vegas and went to college in phoenix, so i have experienced this sort of thing. so if you live in an area that is going to have extreme temperature this weekend here is a little trick i use. i keep my bra in the freezer? i put it on, cool as a cucumber all day. and i'm sure you heard that the supreme court made two major rulings in favor of same-sex marriage. and there was a lot of celebration, in individual places.
but one person who was not thrilled is the president of chick-fil-a. he tweeted sad day for our nation. founding fathers would be ashamed of our generation to abandon wisdom of our generation. corner stone of a strong society. he quickly deleted the tweet. but i like that the guy who is making these kind of statements, can we zoom in on him? has this profile picture. here i am, enjoying my milk shake and thinking about how gay people are the worst. kathy has been speaking out against equal rights for a long time. he changed store policy. you can no longer order two chick-fil-as. if you're hungry, you order a chick-fil-a and a dude filet, just as god intended. should a guy who puts a soggy piece of pickle on a sandwich, really be deciding what goes together? the chick-fil-a chain was quick to distance themselves from his
statements, saying that dan kathy has his own ideas. however, chick-fil-a is focused on providing great food and genuine hospitality to everyone. you see -- one that is jumping on the scene -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: widening their nest. hey, the colonel has been doing something. they would be ashamed of us for all, the kardashian shows. ahem! i'm going to go ahead and call shenanigans on that. >> jimmy: well, why, it is benjamin franklin, everyone. >> thank you, thank you. hello, hello, future people. >> jimmy: hello, why are you here, mr. franklin? >> i'm here to talk about the guy from chick-fil-a. >> jimmy: dan kathy? >> yes, dan kathy. look. all our talk about how our
country was founded, i was there when this country was founded. i spent the better part of the times having three-ways in paris. and i'm not going to lie, there were some dudes in the mix. >> jimmy: there were? >> yes, well, that is how it happens. it was the '60s, there was a lot of opium going on. >> jimmy: so you're okay with same-sex marriage? >> yes, of course, this country was founded on freedom and equality, unless you were black, of course. that was our bad. >> jimmy: right, right. >> anyway, love is love, and do what you want in bed, do everything in bed, because yolo, right? well, i have to go and be dead again. jimmy, i'll see you in eight years and three days. >> jimmy: well, what do you mean about that, eight years and three days? >> whoops. never mind, okay, franklin out.
>> jimmy: wow, a vision from benjamin franklin. that was amazing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: poor guy. smaller than i would have -- they're always shorter than you think they would be, you know? in case you forget to check your calendars, today is national handshake day, falling on june 27th, followed by i got a weird disease from shaking somebody'só hand day. national hand shake day is a reminder that not everything needs a holiday. but it has been practiced since at least the second century b.c., making it more than 2,000 years old. by comparison, the harlem shake only lasted a month. right? to me, handshakes is a great way to say hey, let me touch you with this thing that only ten minutes ago was wiping my butt. if there is anything who appreciates a. >> -- a good hand shake day is
in cousin, sal. so we sent him out on hollywood boulevard to give the pedestrians some very long handshakes. >> how are you doing? big day, how is it going? >> good, good, how are you doing? >> this is what it is all about, you know? >> yeah. >> nice to see you. >> good job. >> good job, where are we going? >> i don't know, where are we going? >> i don't know. >> what is going on now? >> you're shaking my hand. >> yeah. >> yeah, that is what i thought. >> you are very strong today. >> you are very strong today. >> man, did you take the vitamin? >> vitamin? >> yeah, b, c, d -- >> i took vitamin a, but not c or d. >> really, your hand is kind of weird now. >> okay.
thank you, it was really nice to meet you. >> my pleasure. >> no, my pleasure. my pleasure. >> okay. >> my pleasure, continues to be my pleasure. thanks man, have a really good time. >> thank you. >> thank you. >> thank you, no, thank you for being so friendly. hey, man, how are you? >> hey, hey, hey, hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, sal. it's not cheek-pinching day, just hand shaking day. hey, paula deen today, lost two more endorsement deals, this
time with target and a drug company. how many endorsement did this person have? even tiger woods was hey, slow down. but qvc and walmart have also cut ties with paula deen. target announced today they will no longer carry her products in their stores. and the company, novo suspending their partnership on the diabetes drug. it is bad when even the disease doesn't want to associate itself with you. why does diabetes need a spokesperson? doesn't it sell itself. paula deen would fatten you up with her hams, and then try to sell the drugs to control the diabetes. her new cook book was ranked 15th, today, number one. and not only that she has been offered the job of personal chef to quentin tarantino. so things are looking up. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: hey, if you're planning to go to the movies this weekend, you should know that the channing tatum movie, "white house down," has been released. and this might be a first, they have done testing of it. and there has already been a sequel released. white house has not even premiered yet, but they're already promoting a new chapter in the series, look at this. >> hi, welcome to waffle house, may i take your order? >> give up the cheesy grits recipe, or the waffle lady dies. >> you know i can't do that. >> i'll give you to the count of three, let her go. one, two! three! [ gunfire ]
and this is a great clip, starring a 15-year-old kid name alex, from long beach, not far from here. last year he got his wisdom teeth removed, which required them to use anesthesia. and there were a lot of popular videos where kids say funny things under anesthesia, but this one is special. >> why do you want to go to disney land? >> i want to ride my bike. >> you just had your wisdom teeth out. >> i not -- i want to be -- >> snow white, it is just the same, it is called the wisdom teeth, your surgery went really well, and we're going to give you something. >> if anything, i'm wiser. >> you want some -- >> what is jambajin? >> it is what you use to drink a smoothy. >> what is a smoothy?
>> i'll show you when we get it. so right now we're driving home and you just need to sit still. close your mouth and swallow. >> i'm going to drive? >> no. >> you don't have a driver's license. >> i do. >> you don't. it is in my wallet -- you're going to fast, you're going too fast. >> no, honey, i'm not, i'm going too slow. >> you're going too fast. all of my teeth are out -- can't eat anymore? >> yes, you can. >> he didn't wave back to me, he didn't wave back to me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very emotional. you have to wave back to him. so i love this video, so we tracked alex down, and right now alex and his brother anthony,
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and we have alex and his brother, from long beach. and please say hello to alex and anthony. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you guys are not twins, are you? >> no, we're actually eight years apart. >> jimmy: oh, you're eight years apart, and you're wearing a sport jacket, your brother is at the beach, i guess. >> is it is the age difference -- >> jimmy: now, alex, do you remember any of what happened on that video? >> no, i remember nothing. i remember getting put under. and then i remember waking up in my bed, like an hour and a half later. >> jimmy: and anthony, when did you decide you should start taping your brother, was it before you went? >> before i went. i brought my camera, it was premeditated and all. >> jimmy: i see, and what was the reaction to the video so far? >> well, like for a whole year, nothing, but then just recently one of my other videos got popular, and this one got kind of popular from that one. and internet stuff happened.
>> jimmy: that has been up there for a year, oh, wow, do you still have your wisdom teeth, anthony, because this could be a good revenge video? for alex. >> yeah, i got my out before i was in a youtube game, so i dodged the bullet there. >> jimmy: i want to walk through the video, we'll talk about particular moments. let's talk about this one. >> you want some java juice -- >> what is v -- java juice? to drink the smoothy. >> what is a smoothy. >> i'll tell you in a little bit, right now we're driving home and you just need to sit still. close your mouth and swallow? >> am i going to drive? >> no. >> you don't have a driver's license. >> i do, i do in my wallet. it is in the back. >> jimmy: now at 15, i assume you did not have a driver's license? >> no, i did not.ñi >> jimmy: did you even have a wallet in the back? >> i did.
>> jimmy: well, why did you think you could drive? do you know? i guess you wouldn't know, huh? >> have no idea. >> jimmy: do you remember what jamba juice is now? >> i do, and i really do like it, it is tasty. >> jimmy: all right, let's go to the next segment. >> you're going too fast, you're going too fast. >> no, honey, i'm not. i'm going slow. >> you're going too fast. >> no, i'm not. >> all of my teeth are out -- i can't eat anymore? >> yes, you can. >> jimmy: alex, are you sure you didn't smoke crack? because this is not a normal reaction. >> i know, it -- i have never done anything like that. so that was a fresh, new -- >> jimmy: no one has ever done anything like that. all right, we have one more clip. ñi >> they didn't wave back to me, they didn't wave back to me.
alex, he didn't see you -- >> jimmy: he took that really hard. were you ever able to track down the guy that didn't wave back to you? >> no, we didn't. >> jimmy: alex, how do you normally wave? what is your normal waving style? okay. all right, well i have to say looking at both your teeth, your dentist is doing a very good job. what is next -- i think you should do a whole series, just get a big vast of anesthetic, and that is all you need. all you need is a crooked dentist and you could be millionaires. well, thank you, that is alex and allen knowles. jimmy: it is this week, in
unnecessary censorship, where we [ bleep ] things. >> newt gingrich, in response to charges i have an alibi. calista and i were [ bleep ] our pet elephants all evening. >> seems almost eager to put our finger in the [ bleep ]. >> there are a couple of kinds of people that i don't like, that i am prejudiced against, matt. and that is steve and [ bleep ] >> and here is a good example of how it does matter. right? very much so. >> what is the ultimate on the ideal -- >> i take a navy [ bleep ] and i'm in and out of there in two minutes. >> if you think you're betty bad ass, you will meet some in prison. they will [ bleep ] your ass before god gets the news. >> i think if this many people looked to the books, they would probably [ bleep ] >> i got a job for you, a real job, that is if you don't mind [ bleep ]. >> are you kidding? i was the best [ bleep ]. >> what is going on now? >> you know what, i really don't
like anybody around me when i [ bleep ]. because i have a mission. i got a mission, i have a goal. please, i want to [ bleep ] you, i want to [ bleep ] you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: from "the scandal," tony goldwyn is here, and we'll be right back with dwyane wade of the miami heat. and music from the neighbourhood. [ cheers and applause ] >> portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by sony, introducing the sony vaio pro, the world's lightest touch ultrabook. like good soil is to a tree, so is a well-nourished scalp the right foundation for strong, beautiful hair. clear feeds your scalp where 99% of hair's natural strength and beauty comes from.
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>> jimmy: tonight on the program, you know him as president fitzgerald grant on the big hit abc show "scandal" tony goldwyn is here. and then their debut album is called "i love you", which is nice. making their late night television debut, the neighborhood from the sony stage. we've got a great line up for you next week. johnny depp will be here, armie hammer will be with us, as will michael c. hall, rebecca romijn, miranda cosgrove, chef steve martorano, my life partner adam carolla will stop by, and we'll
have music from zz ward and ciara. so join us then. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest, one of the most snappy dressers, from the nba champion, miami heat, please welcome dwyane wade. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm good, man, how y'all doing? >> jimmy: congratulations, it has been a good week for you? >> it has been all right. >> jimmy: have you slept yet? >> i actually have. >> jimmy: after three, it has got to be less exciting after the third one? >> no, not less exciting, you have to be smarter. >> jimmy: how is that? >> sleeping, getting sleep.
team gets sleep. >> jimmy: you stayed up pretty late that first night, though, i would imagine. >> yeah, the first night i stayed up until about 8:30 -- i couldn't go to sleep, i was pretty juiced. >> jimmy: we have pictures from that night, you, lebron james, drake, the rapper up on stage, how did he wind up on stage? >> drake was all over the place, he was like the point guard. he is a big fan and friend of us guys. so he enjoyed it with us. >> jimmy: you cannot be seen in this picture because you're behind the pizza box. someone had pizzas delivered to the show? >> well, you know, after winning the championship last year, we were starving at the club, so we figured this year we would be smarter and planned ahead. it was awesome, too, by the way. >> jimmy: i don't know if you saw this, but your teammate, shane battier tweeted this. this was his after-party.
at denny's, with i don't know who. >> that is his wife, his wife, smiling big. and i don't know the rest of them. >> jimmy: he doesn't look like he had much fun. >> that is hilarious. >> jimmy: are your sons excited about this? >> my sons are very pumped about it. >> jimmy: how old are they? >> my oldest is 11, my youngest is six. they got pumped about it, because they were like dad, can we get rings if you win a championship? i said yeah, y'all can get rings, the $10 rings. i didn't tell them what the costs were going to be. >> jimmy: so you haven't gotten them the rings yet? >> no, they get them next year. >> jimmy: your oldest son has on line, i hope you don't mind me showing this, the highlights reel already. let's take a look at this, this is your son, 11 years old. he could definitely beat me now. there is no question about that. look at this, were you this good at that age? >> no, he would have whipped me
at that age. [ cheers and applause ] >> he is -- i'm proud of him. because he says he wants to play basketball, he really works hard at it. he has more talent than i had, probably around fifth grade, but sixth grade, i was nice. so we'll see, in sixth grade, i was good. >> jimmy: sixth grade is really, that is when they separate the men from the boys. >> yeah, so this year we'll see how he is -- >> jimmy: now i don't know if you caught this. your son is wearing lebron james shoes. how does that go over in your house? >> no loyalty -- >> jimmy: poorly? >> no, it is funny, he loves wade stuff, he wears anything i have. so he wore my shoes to the airport, and he didn't have no fresh new ones for the game. >> jimmy: you got to have fresh new ones. >> oh, yeah, you have to have fresh new ones. >> jimmy: same at my house, we had fresh new sneakers one way or the other, my father was
furious when i wore one of his colleague's brand shoes. >> i supported him, but i said hey, next tournament, you better wear my shoes. >> jimmy: i don't blame you, but you had a commercial with your kids? right? >> yeah, i did a campaign, what matters most. my son pretty much took over the whole commercial. like the commercial was being shown a little bit. it took over to where i was almost out of it. it was like all about him. >> jimmy: and do they bathe regularly? is that something -- you tell them they can't be in a dove commercial if you -- >> well, you know young boys, they like to be musty. we're going to be spokespersons for this, you can't walk around musty, so i actually use thato get them to take a shower. the dove men. >> jimmy: do the kids dress like you? you have a great sense of style. >> my nephew and my oldest, he is terrible --
at dressing. >> jimmy: the whole heat team, you guys all dress sharply. do you have to do that to fit in with the team? >> well, i'm not going to say everybody dresses sharply. >> jimmy: well, who doesn't? i'm going to say guys care about the way they dress. but we have a few guys. >> jimmy: who is the worst? >> not the worst, because i love this guy. but we have to try to work on ray allen. just a little bit. you know, ray, i love you, we have to work on ray, he is coming from miami, seattle, boston, miami is a totally different coacher. he came with these big baggy suits. we were like ray, you need to tailor down a little bit. he came with the black and brown socks, we had to hook him up a little bit. but he went tailored one time and i think he was so uncomfortable on a flight he just went back to his regular -- >> jimmy: well, you know what? have him trade it. it's as simple as that.
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2003 nba draft, the miami heat select dwyane wade. >> that was exactly ten years ago tonight -- >> i was the same color on draft night. >> jimmy: everything comes back around. were you surprised when you got drafted? did you know which team was going to take you? >> no, i had no idea, the day i woke up they said i could go anywhere from four to 20. so i was very nervous, and chris bosh was fourth, to the toronto raptor. he whispered in my ear, and said don't change your expression, but you're going to go five to the miami heat. now you tell a kid not to change his expression. but my body was numb, i went to tell my sister, she started crying. and i'm like well, they gave that up. >> jimmy: you know, i can't even imagine what that must be like. have you ever been more nervous than you were on that day? and i guess you knew you were going to get drafted in the first round, for sure, but that
has to be terrifying, either knowing my life is going to be set, or it would be a disaster. >> well, i just didn't want to be the guy in the green room the whole time. i was like as long as i get out of the green room. and i'm not here last, i'm good. >> jimmy: back in school, well, you wouldn't know this, but waiting and waiting until somebody picked you to be on the team. >> yeah, i never got that. >> jimmy: i am sure you didn't, and lebron james, the three guys in the top five in that draft, and the ring. >> we talked about it, we said we would team up ten years later. >> jimmy: that is some real foresight, i have to say? and will all the guys be together next season, do you think? >> i will be there, lebron james, and chris will be there. we're coming back. >> jimmy: i want to mention one thing you did in may. tell us what is going on here. because this is a high school prom, correct?
>> oh, yes, yes, this is my prom date. and her friend. >> jimmy: tweeted you, asking you to take her to the prom. and you surprised her and showed up at the prom. unfortunately, her date was there already. >> yeah. it kind of messed things up. >> jimmy: yeah, are these very tall people, or are you on your knees? >> they're on a step. >> jimmy: they're on a step? >> she did a video, and actually on twitter, came to my book signing. she asked me, i kept coming up with a lot of excuses to why i couldn't go. and then we were just off, we had just finished the chicago series and we had a few days. and that is one cool thing about being a known person. is that you are able to do special things like that. so i thought, you know what? i ain't been to the prom in a while. let me go. i really had a great time. i enjoyed it so nicole, thank you for letting me take you. >> jimmy: well, congratulations, . i'm very happy for you.
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>> jimmy: hi, there, from the neighbourhood, and our next guest, playing the adulterous and as unlikely as this might seem white president of the united states on the very popular show "scandal." new episodes of which return to abc thursday nights this fall, please welcome tony goldwyn. [ cheers and applause ] >> great, good to be here. >> jimmy: i know you missed dwyane wade, but i know he is a big fan of "scandal". >> he told me that, talk about being flattered. he has three rings. >> jimmy: are you a fan of
the miami heat? >> i am of dwayne wade and the miami heat. >> jimmy: are you surprised that a lot of politicians watch the show? >> kind of amazing, i was in washington last month, happy to be invited to the white house dinner where all of washington congregates. i am sort of a political junky, so i was kind of star struck by all the brilliant people i was around, who do all sorts of political things, and all they wanted to talk about was "scandal." and it was people who like to wage wars, and stuff -- and working with collapsing economies. >> jimmy: you know, they're passing like renewable energy bills and it is exciting to see this world that you created on "scandal" that they're not probably necessarily living in. but they probably want people to think they are. >> you know what was funny? a number of people came up to me
and said you know, don't tell anyone i said this, but it is actually not that different. >> jimmy: really, really? >> that is what i said. really? >> jimmy: did you base your character on anyone in particular? >> i kind of spent a lot of time observing obama and clinton, and not for obvious reasons -- but no, really, clinton has this extraordinary ability to connect with people. and i think obama does, too. stop it, jimmy. he has the ability to talk to a thousand people and make you feel like he is talking just to you. and he has great heart. and both of them are brilliant men and yet are very down to earth, i think. and i wanted fitz to have that quality. so i kind of studied them. they're both brilliant speakers. >> jimmy: do you know if the president watches the show? >> i don't know if the president
does, you know, if he had his priorities straight, he would. but he is busy. but i'm told -- you know, i talked to a number of first lady staffers that said she really loves the show. and valerie jarrett says she is obsessed with the show. and everyone in the white house watches it. so if everyone in the white house watches it, let's just say the president watches it. >> jimmy: you don't think the first lady would love a show about an adulterous president. well, that sounds like a fun thing. it must be very strange to go and have these people know you or know your work, at least. >> here is what is really weird. being at the white house correspondent dinner and walking by people and having them say, hello, mr. president. that was strange. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> that was strange, i kept going, is he here? i want to meet him. >> jimmy: does your family watch the show?
>> they do, my daughters particularly really are into -- >> jimmy: how old are your daughters? >> 18 and 23, so they really dig it. and send me snarky texts, whenever there is romantic scenes between me and kerry washington. >> jimmy: what kind of texts do they send you? >> just like eww and gross and -- really? excuse me? >> jimmy: well, that is better than them sending you texts like good sex, dad. >> thanks for the tip. >> jimmy: i was asking about your family, because your family is the goldwyn of metro goldwyn mayer. >> yeah, that is right. >> jimmy: wow, that has to be -- a heavy brand to carry. >> yeah, it was a little heavy at the beginning, but now it is nice. >> jimmy: what is the relationship, so samuel goldwyn -- >> he was my grandfather. >> jimmy: and is it because of him you wanted to be involved in this stuff? >> maybe unconsciously, not really, at first, i wanted to do something totally different. but like pretty much everybody becomes an actor, starting to do
plays in high school and fell in love with it and just got sucked into it that way. >> jimmy: yeah, when you drove on the lot, you must have thought the parking spaces were for you. >> actually, here is a story, when i started out working in the theater in new york, and then after a couple of years i came out here to try to break in out here. and i had an audition for a tv pilot. i can't remember what it was. at the mgm studios, back then it was still mgm, now it is an office building and a hotel in las vegas. but it was the mgm lot, i go into the gate. i gave my name. they say what are you here for. i say i'm here for the project, they say what do you do, i said i'm an actor, he said oh, yeah, actors are not allowed to park in the lot, they have to go around the block. and it was an empty parking lot
-- didn't help me at all. >> jimmy: you would think they would welcome a goldwyn with opened arms, did they let you in the casino in las vegas -- >> they're happy to take my money. >> jimmy: well, great to see you. and congratulations, back in the fall, on abc, tony goldwyn. everybody, we'll be right back with music from the neighbourhood. ♪ ♪ >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. ñes0p0p
♪ in california with my toes in the sand use the sleeves of my sweater let's have an adventure head in ♪ ♪ the clouds but my gravity's centered touch my neck and i'll touch yours you in those little high ♪ ♪ waisted shorts oh she knows what i think about and what i think about one love two ♪ ♪ mouths one love one house no shirt no blouse just us you find out nothing that wouldn't wanna tell ♪ ♪ you about no cause it's too cold for you here and now so let me hold both your hands in the holes ♪ ♪ of my sweater and if i may just take your breath away i don't mind if there's not much to say sometimes ♪ ♪ the silence guides our minds to so move to a place so far away the goose bumps start to
raise the minute that ♪ ♪ my left hand meets your waist and then i watch your face put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love the taste yeah ♪ ♪ these hearts adore everyone the other beats' heart is for inside this place is warm outside it starts ♪ ♪ to pour coming down one love two mouths one love one house no shirt no blouse just us you find out nothing that i ♪ ♪ wouldn't wanna tell you about no oh no cause it's too cold for you here and now so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater ♪ ♪ cause it's too cold for you here and now so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater whoa whoa ♪