tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 12, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PST
>> dickey: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, robin williams, the kids from modern family, and music from the killers, with cleto and the cletones and now, there's no other way to say it, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ jimmy kimmel live [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here. on this momentous occasion.
i appreciate that. i will say it is -- i'm glad, it is a special day today. a special date. today is november 12, 2013, or 11/12/13. you realize what that means, guillermo, right? >> guillermo: i don't know. >> jimmy: it means nothing. but my plan is to make this the best 11/12/13 of your life. the one-and-only robin williams is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] and -- we are hosting the first of two nights with the killers. tonight. for practice. tomorrow they nail it. not easy to get the kill tires play on your show on consecutive nights. they fell for the you have to book minimum of two nights requirement, trick. it is rare we ask band to play two nights in a row. snoop dog did it once in the first week. he forgot he played here the first week. he went with. we have something else fun
tonight. a month ago cast of "modern family" was here. adults from the show. and we played a round of "modern family" feud. tonight we invite their tv offspring to play the game. the kids, young adults from "modern family" here tonight to play "family feud." a lot of tv families seem to be in the feud lately. yesterday the family from the show "cake boss" went up against "here comes ho s honey boo boo". host steve harvey is not what you describes a honey boo boo expert. >> hey, honey boo boo, name something that parents tell their kids not to pick at? >> toe jam! >> toe jam between your toes. >> show you toe jam later. >> toe jam! >> jimmy: don't know, sequel to
space jam. that's we'll be doing with modern family cast later. important justin bieber news. this is excitingai, a woman in brazil claiming she had sex, you know sex right? with justin bieber after one of his concerts there last week. the woman who shot a video of him sleeping and posted it. think she gave the to her friend. her friend posted tight youtube. she intended the video to be private. who could guess, strangers would look on you tube. the woman was not a prostitute. she is a model. kind enough to share all the details of their love with the british tabloid. she said just ten was a gentleman. good in bed. he was surprise league very mature for his age. though to be fair, she thought he was 12. she was thankful he had a dry night. there you go, our baby, baby, baby is growing up isn't he? meanwhile another canadian of note.
mayor rob ford shows no scenes of slowing down the a week ago today the mayor admitted to having smoked crack cocaine in office t. some body go out in video. thursday a video of the mayor in a hotel room screaming about killing some one, tearing the person's throat out. he apologized too. today the mayor appeared at an event to sell bobblehead dolls of himself. i am not kidding. a bobblehead sale. there he is. on the way over. swarmed by reporters. trying to ask him questions. at one point he had to break into a run, guess that is a run, i am sweating just watching him. where does he get all that energy? it's -- but he did. [ applause ] the destination, an autograph signing. he sold bobblehead. bobblehead thing is a fund raiser for united way. they're selling them for $20. on e-bay, these are now selling for $200 a pop. what makes the story remarkable to me.
despite the fact that he admitted smoking crack after lying about it, rob ford's approval rating has not dipped a bit in toronto. he is still holding steady. he, rock steady at 44%. which i think is better than president obama does here. canadians really are nicer than we are. mayor ford has die-hard supporters, some who showed up to cheer his bobblehead sale on. >> mr. mayor -- >> all right. all right. >> you are the best, rob! you are the best! >> thank you, appreciate it. thank you very much. >> number one, the best guy in the town in the world and in the universe. >> jimmy: best in town, and the world, and the universe. yeah. and by the way that include michael j. fox. that's really -- that helps explain why mayor ford has vowed to stay in office.
he has vowed to stay. maybe he shouldn't step down. yeah, he occasionally smokes crack, you know toronto is one of the greatest, fastest growing cities in north america. excuse a guy for wanting to celebrate a little. shocking development last night on dancing with the stars, when i say shocking, not at all shocking. the story goes like this. elizabeth berkeley, may recall was on show "saved bay the bell" was eliminated after earning one of three perfect scores. she got two of them this season. when viewer votes were factored in. last night she was eliminated. comedian who had the lowest judge's score, every week for the last month. was safe. that resulted in an unimaginable amount of sorrow for dancing with the stars' judges. >> on this ninth week of comb pa tishgs t -- competition t. lowest score, therefore leaving right now is elizabeth and val.
♪ ♪ >> jimmy: wow, that's -- [ cheers and applause ] clearly our system of selecting ballroom daernsz ncers is broke. almost like the reality show judges don't mean anything. thanksgiving history is made this year. for the first time ever, butterball is adding male staffers to their turkey talk line. the phone number you can call if you are having trouble cooking your turkey. for the last 32 years, women answered the phone. because more and more men are cooking turkeys. they're hiring men. one guy, yelling questions to his wife in the other room. part of the reason why men are take over turkey duties, women are focused on a cherished
thanksgiving tradition, shopping on black friday. used to be that people, would loon up ear line up early day after th thanksgiving. the deadline is inching forward. now retailers are planning to open on thanksgiving day itself. macy's, target and staples will open at 8:00 on thanksgiving night. target and macy's. i guess the who is black friday shopping at staples? make sure i have enough post-its for christmas. as if opening a store at 8:00 p.m. isn't bad enough. toys "r" us at 5:00 p.m. k mart, 6:00 a.m. a thanks but no thanksgiving i you are out shopping for christmas on thanksgiving day, you either love or really hate your family. not sure which. if only there was some kind of device that would allow us to purchase things while wearing pajamas and have them shipped directly to our homes so. we wouldn't have to. as long as people spend money.
stores are going to stay open. if it is profitable. there is no going back. what was supposed to be a quiet holiday dinner is a shopping day. and some stores have no shame at all about promoting this. >> this thanksgiving, don't fight with your family at dinner. fight with strangers at big lots. [ sirens sounding ] thanksgiving day at big lots. bringing families together since 2013. >> jimmy: unless you poke somebody's eye out you don't love your kids. we are going to take a break. when we come back i will update you on something you may want to buy black friday. hybrid of an ipad and toilet. robin williams, modern family feud, and the killers too. dent don't go anywhere. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ t change is coming.
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>> welcome back, robin williams and the killers are here. and we'll play family feud. hope you are watching our show from some place warm now. what is called an arctic blast hit central and eastern united states today. it is cold. subzero temperatures. it seemed to have affected everyone but us. >> it is a chilly 39 degrees. temperatures are going to continue to drop. >> and it will be mighty cold from here on out. temperatures will not move much. >> the fear. benton harbor, 14 inches of snowfall. >> wind chill upper teens, low 20s. chilly. >> new york city, central park is turning white at this hour.
wow. >> 29 degrees for low this morning. still just a few degrees above the freezing mark right now. >> few areas that went below zero. >> code out there. 3 at bismarck. 10, before the sunrises. >> heavy snow is falling in cleveland. commuters face five inches of flakes before the day is over. >> getting warmer over the next few days. going to feel look summike summ there. >> jimmy: i tell you, we only have one season in hollywood, that's award season. we have to have nice weather here. the nation depend on us for a year round supply of meg gone fox bikini photos. we understand you are attracted to women. calm down. as a comic book fan. this story, caught my eye. in singapore, the rules aren't particularly strict when it comes to changing one's identity. >> a man may be named like a super hero.
he is a villain. >> jailed for using drugs and stealing. his name means batman son of superman, and he was sentenced to spend two years and nine months in jail in singapore. after this picture of was put online he became a social media sensation. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> hmm. >> thanks, guys, well done. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thought you were going to screw it up. >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: you were perfect on that one, guillermo. can you duo it one more time so we can hear it? >> guillermo: hmm. >> jimmy: this is interesting. gallop did a study, examines genderer use in the work place. they found that both men and
women prefer a male boss. that has been the case every year for 60 years they have been doing the poll. the most recent study, 35% of empe employees prefer male bosses. 30%, prefer a female boss. the rest, can't tell which sex they are. if your two bosses meet, me or my wife, which one do you look working for better? >> guillermo: you! >> jimmy: this is great -- this is really, waiting for a baby gift. and i found, happened upon this on amazon. the two in one ipotty with activity seat. toilet training seat with a case for an ipad built into it. if your 11-month-old has a job or, you know if your baby is having meetings via skype
throughout the day seems necessary. i want to point out a few flaws in the device. do you want your kid sitting on a toilet for four hours playing games? i do that my wife gets furious. but it took me 35 years to get to that point. look at this. it has the a stand that rotates 360 degrees. your kid can i guess take selfies while he pees. people try to make money. we have to end great technology into everything. these kids are so involved with these computer. they're going to forget how to speak. they don't need to be entertained while they're going potty. that is, i find that entertaining enough on its own. i say, let kid go to the bathroom the old-fashioned way in the toilet or in their pants! [ cheers and applause ] but, this is becoming more popular as young kids are becoming tech savvy. last week my 3-year-old nephew
installed the operating system. 38% of children under 2 have used a mobile device. we have come a long way from the fisher price phone with the googly eyes. by age 8 the percentage jumps to 72%. while some are careful about letting their kids get too attached. a lot of encourage it. apple launched a new product to cash in. >> we change the way you listen to music. we change the way you communicate. we changed the way you play. and now, apple gives you, the imom. the imom will parent your child at every stage of life from toddler. chloe be careful not to fall off the bed. >> tot. >> the little elephant shook the tree. coconuts, coconuts he cried with glee. >> to teen. >> don't even think about it you little [ bleep ]. >> imom, there is no i in
mother. until now. >> i never loved your father. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show -- modern family feud with the youngin's from modern family - we have music from the killers - and we'll be right back with robin williams. [ male announcer ] at red lobster, we pull our seafood from the best waters on earth... like the cold alaskan seas. it's the cleanest, clearest water. a haven for crab. [ male announcer ] and the unspoiled coast of maine. maine lobster is the tastiest, the sweetest. [ male announcer ] we serve it the only way seafood should be... prepared to order by experts. if i wouldn't eat it, i'm not gonna serve it. [ male announcer ] and delivered hot from our kitchen, right to your table. ♪ that's how we sea food differently. now get ten dollars off any two seafood bakes, crab or lobster entrees. it's an extremely simple tool. but also extremely powerful. it could be used to start a poem.
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program. program, the younger, more vital half of modern family, sarah hyland, nolan gould, ariel winter, rico rodriguez, and aubrey anderson- emmons are here to play modern family feud. and then, for your convenience, they packed all their biggest songs into this package - - it's called "direct hits" - the killers from the sony outdoor stage. tomorrow night, ray romano, eddie cibrian, night two with the killers. so joan us for tho-- so join us shows too. >> jimmy: fans of seventies television remember our first guest from his role as an exiled alien who infiltrated our planet, lived secretly among us, mated with an earth woman and perhaps -- confetti from a show in the past -- robin williams is spewing paper now, i don't know. anyway, 32 years later, he returns to network television in "the crazy ones" which airs thursdays at 9 on cbs, please welcome robin williams.
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: good to see you. nanu-nanu. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i have to say, for me it is very exciting when you are here. i feel like i am really hosting a talk show. but, you did something -- >> versus a dance show. people go jimmy, yeah! get real! >> jimmy: something like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: one of the writers told me over the weekend, you showed up at, improv olympic. >> hollywood boulevard. >> jimmy: hollywood boulevard where kids go. >> those young people go to do
funny things. gyp th they do improv. you walked in. >> i went on with a group. for an hour and a half. >> jimmy: how much fun was it for them? >> i have no idea. i think they went, the old guy is standing up. way to go. it was really fun. a great group. it is such a wonderful small theater. i've have been doing that once in a while. go to this place -- it's the back of, combing bookstore that has a comedy club. like a porn shop with a dance studio, right. kind of wonderful. i have been doing set lists once in a while. haven't been doing stand-up. improv. great, get back out throw the ball around. >> jimmy: for fun? >> big time. for cash. here is $1.40 -- [ bleep ]. i am a bad box of twizzlers. >> jimmy: like playing, you want to be a basketball player. and michael jordan shows up and wants to shoot a round with you. >> i don't go that far.
gyp >> jimmy: i do. >> really fun. they're so good. forces your brain to get back in. i came out first few minutes. by end of the night. i am back. i can dupe this again. my first improv, playing a gorilla, wasn't given too hard given the hair. later on that night they had puppet improv. i want to go for that. i've just want to be. make a suggestion of a place. >> let me play. no. no. >> jimmy: when you started "mork & mindy" how old were you? >> vaguely remember being 28. i was on everything but -- i was like, this is fun. >> jimmy: how is that television experience different from this television experience you are having now? >> back then there were three networks. basically three networks. wired meant something different. and the idea -- i remember one of the network executives came up and said you are the funniest
man i have seen since jack carter. i went, "wow, thank you. wow, i am so happy. god bless you." but it was strange. because our first, a three-camera show. live audience. and our first taping audience. kind of amazing they were laughing at everything. and loud. like -- ah-ha! ah-ha! >> jimmy: better than the opposite. did a game show on comedy central. we started. nobody knew the show. >> they would bring in people. they went out and got another audience that night on hollywood boulevard. wonder what that was like. >> you want to see a show? yeah, that would be great. if he going to -- >> jimmy: no offense to an of yof -- to any of you, of course. >> you people, you sign sd ed ur this t. >> jimmy: you know how to connect. >> i know how to -- off a large
group of people. the first year, on that lot at the time. it was "happy days" and "taxi" and "laverne & shirley." >> jimmy: all my lunch box for life. i would have went berserk. >> on friday nights, everyone would finish at different times. this large mobile party from place to place. it was wonderful. danny deveto, tony danza, andy kaufman. nice to see you again. very much so. >> jimmy: in character? >> tony clifton, piss people off walking in the door. wonderful. wonderful gene pool of crazy people wandering paramount. >> jimmy: "taxi" all the guys from that. who were your buddies back then? >> those guys were pretty fun. really, really fun. >> jimmy: like. >> to the point i can't talk about it without a lawyer right now. you know, and i met a girl, i knew things were going crazy with "mork & mindy" we went home
later, and she went "do me, mork." no, no, no. this is not about me anymore. here, keep the suspenders. >> jimmy: wow, i would love -- did you stick to the script? >> they toed to have a thing. mork does his thing here. big open riffs. we would go, greatest, last year was the best, boss. first year was wonderful. second year got crazy, because the network started to get involved. and i knew things weren't going well. in denver mile high stadium dressed as a denver bronco cheerleader in full drag, going the end is near. the last year because things were going out. we were going to end, ratings were going down. we went out strong with jonathan winters playing my son. >> jimmy: he was the greatest. >> oh, my gosh. we had, i think we had the best times of all the he would do riffs would go on so long, all three cameras would run out of film. see the cameramen, like machine
gunners, i'm any out. get me another roll. do stuff that was insane. and wonderful. >> jimmy: writers must have loved you. and the editors must have hated you. >> worst nightmare for an editor. did you meet jonathan, hang out with him? >> a lot. i spent a lot of time. >> a friend of mine went to a gun show. a guy came up, a gun advocate. mr. winters are you a big advocate of gun? no, i am a fan of grenade. they're so much more effective. >> jimmy: robin williams is here. we'll be right back. >> jimmy too! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ along the way. ♪ ♪ thanksgiving photo booth, before the meal ♪ ♪ to capture all the joy we feel ♪ ♪ elf on a shelf, like it, pin it ♪ ♪ with my redcard, i'm in the game to win it. ♪ save big this season with price match, plus 5% off and free shipping with your debit or credit redcard.
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>> jimmy: robin williams! "the crazy ones" airs thursdays at 9pm on cbs. when we come back, the children of modern family play modern family feud. your show. you are back on network television. you play an ad executive on the show? based on anybody. >> we have an adviser, john montgomery, worked with leo burnett. he is wonderful tells about dealing with sponsors, and stuff, a lot of episode are based around it. he was once on the phone with a sponsor, and he said "in this ad, we are going to have a unicorn." the woman on the other end went "a real unicorn?" and he had to look, the other guys going what do i tell her?
but he has all the different stories. things that-up have to do in the ad agency. wonderful. we have brad garrett, ed asner. >> jimmy: matter of fact. want to ask you. brad garrett. fred savage there, a beard. harlem globetrotters are there too. what happened, how did this happen? >> who lost that bet. this happened. one part of the episode is that brad when he wants. he is my partner. lou else is louis, when he wants to do a pitch. doesn't want to screw it up. brought in the harlem globetrotters to distract me. they were going, the poor little white boy can't play for [ bleep ]. it was kind of wonderful. this is, we have had, harlem globetrotters, victoria's secret models. a wonderful day. >> jimmy: was it. put on your mork suspenders. >> nothing else. those models are like deer ein
thong. they walk like this, hello. you should see, guys that showed up. guys coming from miles away. i just want to see what is going on today. >> jimmy: when you get the catalog. >> i know her! and you too? yes. >> jimmy: great to see you. i love having you here. thank you so much. robin williams, everybody. >> jimmy! "the crazy ones" airs thursdays at 9pm on cbs. when we come back, the children of modern family play modern family feud.
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>> it's time to play modern family feud. and here is your host, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: thank you, we played with modern family parents. now time to play with their tv offspring. two great teams ready to battle it out. we have sarah, ariel, and aubrey. [ cheers and applause ] and they will face off against the boys of "modern family"
nolan, enrique, and we have added a rodriguez, guillermo rodriguez. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, i don't think guillermo will be that helpful. i wouldn't worry too much. >> we weren't worried. >> jimmy: sarah do you mind, being lumped in. 15, 15, 15. sarah, you are an adult. you play a kid on television. >> i am 23 in less than two weeks. >> jimmy: aubrey how old are you? >> 6. >> jimmy: do you have fun on the show? >> yes. >> jimmy: is everyone nice to you? >> yes. >> jimmy: who is the meanest to you here? >> i don't really know. >> jimmy: you don't really know. we will figure out as the game progresses. first, give me nolan, sarah, come up to the board here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys know how the family feud works.
>> oh, yes. >> jimmy: we surveyed 100 people. the top four answers from the people on the board. your job is to try to get the most popular answer. here we go -- name the most disgusting vegetable? sarah. >> spinach. >> jimmy: is spinach on the board? it is not. >> what? >> jimmy: name the most disgusting vegetable? >> brussel sprouts. >> jimmy: take a look. brussel sprouts is on the board. >> jimmy: it is all right. you've will get a chance. >> jimmy: name, rico, the most disgusting vegetable? >> lima beans. >> jimmy: lima bean. let's take a look. do we have lima beans. >> jimmy: we do not. i probably should have mentioned. we give two strikes in the version. not three. guillermo name the most disgusting vegetable. >> you got this, buddy.
>> guillermo: beets. >> jimmy: a good answer. do we have beets? beets was on the board. nolan back to you. the most disgusting vegetable? >> i mean, i hate them all. but, i don't know, i will go with most obvious broccoli. >> jimmy: looking for the most obvious answer. that answer is -- broccoli! on the board. rico. if you are able to name the most disgusting vegetable you will win this round. if you do not, it will go to the lady who will get a chance to steal all your points. >> okay. uh. cauliflower. >> jimmy: cauliflower is a good answer. do i see cauliflower? >> jimmy: yes cauliflower. 75 points.
all right. give me ariel and rico step up to the podium. [ cheers and applause ] this is exciting. your question is -- name a word that you would use instead of a curse word. rico? >> fudge. >> jimmy: fudge is an excellent answer. fudge, do we have fudge? >> yes. >> jimmy: if you pick the top one. select the top one, you can take this. a word you would use instead of a curse word? >> uh -- >> jimmy: what? can you spell that for us? >> no. >> beach. >> jimmy: okay, beach.
>> jimmy: give us beach. we do not have beach. the boys get to play again. >> jimmy: i'm still trying to figure out what it is? guillermo you, go first. name a word you would use instead of a curse word? >> shoot. >> jimmy: shoot, a good answer do. we have shoot? >> jimmy: shoot! well done. nolan comes to you. >> crud. >> jimmy: what? >> crud. >> jimmy: crud. all right. give us crud. >> jimmy: no. no, crud. rico, once again. >> again. >> jimmy: comes done to you. if you get this right. you win, this, no, you actually have to get two. rico. yes. >> okay. coming to a blank to me. >> jimmy: uh-huh.
>> crap. i don't know. i don't know. >> jimmy: all right. >> i'm blanking out here. >> jimmy: give us crap! wow. now the pressure is on -- little guillermo. guillermo. you can win this for your team. a word you would use instead of a curse word. >> i don't know. >> guillermo: oh, my god. >> jimmy: all right. oh, my god, is oh, my god on the board. it is not. and now, we go over to the ladies. lady? >> we're going to go with darn. >> jimmy: darn is an excellent guess. survey says -- >> yea! >> we have quite a game here.
>> darn. darn. darn. >> jimmy: 75-75. >> darn. >> jimmy: who ever wins this round wins the game and, let's bring guillermo and aubrey. aubrey come on up. all right, aubrey. your question is -- name a cartoon dog -- a cartoon dog. if you think of one -- press the button if you can think of one. >> guillermo: ladies first. >> jimmy: very polite. a cartoon dog. guillermo, you can ring in. you might not be right. yes, guillermo? >> jimmy: no help from your team. a cartoon dog. you have three second.
>> guillermo: snoopy. snoopi snoopy on the board? >> very good. the boys will play for the win. nolan, name a cartoon dog. >> scooby doo. >> jimmy: scooby doo. here we go. now we get done to the hard ones. rico? >> clifford the big red-dog. >> jimmy: clifford, the big red-dog. survey says -- guillermo, it all comes done to y you. a cartoon dog. guillermo, do you have an answer? >> guillermo: which one? >> jimmy: guillermo, you have to answer on your own. >> guillermo: dinosaur from the flintstones.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dinosaur. dinosaur from the flintstones! no. lady, you have an opportunity to win this with one answer. >> i haven't watched cartoons. >> jimmy: confer. >> cartoon dog that you watch? >> jimmy: all comes done to this. it all comes down to this. >> oh, oh, oh, oh. >> no, no. >> i will kiss you. >> brian from family guy. >> jimmy: do we have -- the dog from family guy? >> jimmy: no. >> come on! >> jimmy: i have no idea who wins now. and the end, see what we have on the board. >> jimmy: pluto. well --
i guess the boys won, huh you, guys got the points. so congratulations. dickey tell them what they have won? >> fake ids and 10,000 tickets from chuck e. cheese. >> jimmy: there you go. 10,000 tickets from chuck e. cheese. congratulations. thank you, watch modern families wednesdays on abc. we'll be right back with music from the killers. stick around. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
at the night give me a moment that's some kind of mysterious ♪ ♪ once in a lifetime we're breaking all the rules to find that our home has long been outgrown ♪ ♪ throw me a lifeline cause honey i got nothing to lose ♪ ♪ once in a lifetime once in a lifetime once in a lifetime oh oh oh oh ♪ ♪ give me a shot at the night give me a moment that's some kind of mysterious♪
♪ give me a shot at the night give me a moment that's some kind of mysterious ♪ ♪ give me a shot at the night oh oh oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i look at my reflection in the mirror underneath the power of the light ♪ ♪ give me a shot at the night give me a shot at the night ♪ ♪ give me a shot at the night i feel like i'm