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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 26, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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actor channing tatum. >> have a good night actor channing tatum. >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- channing tatum. from the houston texans, j.j. watt. and music from zz top. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome to the show. tonight on the show, that's enough already. i tell you what. it is a cold night in the united states of america tonight. i hear, of course, here i wore shorts to work today. i did for real. shorts and a tube top. my look. my usual look. the mayors and governors and police chiefs of various residents are warning residents about what could be an historic storm. the weather channel is calling it winter storm juno as in do you know this is going to be a nightmare? blizzard warnings are issued from new york to maine. new york is expect to get up to three feet of snow. and i can't even imagine how small the footballs will be
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deflated in new england. hey, you know, a bad time to travel. more than 4,000 flights were canceled before the storm even started them say if you're trying to get home to or from the east coast, should you find a new family. start over again with new people to love. fortunately, we had a new episode of the bachelor to keep us warm. only the two of the women announce that had they are virgins. you know, the only thing that's been going on on the bachelor is going on to lose your virginity. after tonight, 11 lucky ladies remain. four were sent home. one of the women who had to go home was ashley s. she was known as this season's crazy one. and here's part of the reason why. >> look at the moon. it's so weird to me.
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and we're here. >> when i'm in iowa, the sun is going down. [ talking quietly ] >> i want to know everything about you. [ whispering ] >> jimmy: yes. [ applause ] it will resonate within my mind until the end of the show when i send you home. i think sending her home was a mistake. they need nutty ones to keep it interesting. they should have a special crazy lady guest house which could be a show of its own by the way.
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this might be my favorite bachelor moment of the season so far. the point of the show is the guy dates like 25 women at once. that's the show. tonight one of the favorites, a young lady named brit, confronted chris the bachelor because she didn't like what was going on between him and another gal, kaitlyn. and i think this is a great lesson for men. >> i heard that it was after, she was like taking her clothes off and how other girls do that and there was a lot of talk about sex. i just want to know those actions and behaviors have been validated. >> i guess -- i see two si kaitlyn has a lot of facets. and i don't -- those aren't -- i see the kaitlyn that is -- you know what i mean. i just see, if you like her or dislike her, i don't see, i don't look at kaitlyn
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rewarding inappropriate behavior by giving roses to people and -- >> so sorry to put you on the spot. sorry. >> jimmy: i want to go through that response. i thought it might be good to use a chalkboard to break it down. here's a chalkboard. this is what chris said. and guillermo, you can back me on this. what he said was, i guess, uh, i see two sides, like uh, kaitlyn has a lot of different facets that are not and i don't -- those aren't -- i see the -- the kaitlyn that's just, uh, you know what i mean. i mean obviously -- i mean,
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you like her or kidislike her, don't look at kaitlyn like being some really. i am not rewarding inappropriate behavior, you know, by giving roses to people or, and i view, is that maybe um. so there you go. and i'm going to say something. [ cheers and applause ] i agree with him. he is not rewarding inappropriate behavior by giving roses to people or and i view is that a maybe. that answer was so dumb, he gave it a rose at the end of the show. last night in miami, the 63rd annual miss universe passagent, the winner this year was miss colombia and the loser was women everywhere. miss colombia, paulina, is that right? is that the same place sophia is from.
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>> yes. >> jimmy: thank you very much. miss usa was the first runner up. this is interesting. the first miss universe pageant took place in 1952. back then women were not allowed to compete. it was a bunch of men wearing swimsuits and evening gowns. did you know that? >> no, i didn't. >> jimmy: this is kind of sad. sky mall is going out of business. the company that produces sky mall -- you know the catalogue on the airplanes, filed for bankruptcy. they were forced to file for bankruptcy when it was declared they have never sold an item. so they're going to stop. wait a minute. if sky mall goes down, where are the sky team supposed to hang out after sky school? this will have a dramatic effect, mostly on passengers who need a place to put their gum when they're on the plane. but sky mall was, it was the premier shopping destination for people who just drank four tiny bottles of jim beam. this is very sad news. from now original where will we
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buyer our fire burning hot tubs? our night glow toilet seats? goodbye, carry-on luggage scooter. ♪ farewell, wine glass holder necklace. we'll see you around, nfl shoe wine holder. and of course, plush referee turkey hat with beard hat to match. so long, sky rest travel pillow. we'll see you later, armadillo beverage holder. and i have to say, life size big foot garden yeti statue, i will miss you most of all. you know what they say when god closes a sky mall, he opens a brookstone. funny, i love the sky mall catalogue. i've never bought anything from
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them which had me wondering, so we sent a camera out on hollywood boulevard to see how long would it take to find anyone who has tully purchased something from sky mall. >> have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> no. >> have you ever bought anything from sky mall in. >> yes. no. >> you've never bought anything from sky mall? >> no. >> excuse me, have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> i don't know. >> have you? >> no. >> you? anyone? no. four nos. have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> no. i didn't. >> have you ever bought anything from sky mall? can i have a pretzel? thanks. have you ever purchased anything on sky mall? have you? have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> absolutely. no, i haven't. >> have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> i don't know what it is. i'm from london. >> have you ever bought anything from sky mall?
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>> no. >> have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> no. >> have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> no. >> have you guys bought anything from sky mall? have you ever bought anything from sky mall? >> we have not. >> no. lots of looking. we like it though. we're going to miss it. >> we hear it is going bankrupt. >> if you bought something it would have been different. so you have bought something from sky mall. >> yeah. little things. >> congratulations! >> thank you very much. >> we got something, we have four dachsunds and we got some little necklaces for them. >> like collars? >> yeah, little collars. >> jimmy: collars
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meanwhile the new england patriots coach held another press conference on saturday emphatically denying any wrongdoing. he said the patriots have followed every rule to the letter and he blame the underinflated footballs on the weather and on rubbing them hard before the game. he did. nobody believes him, of course. i have a theory as to what might have happened. maybe those footballs took a long look at tom brady and became deflated knowing they would never be anywhere near as good looking as he is. did anyone ever think of that? jay glazer of fork sports has identified the nfl has identified a person of interest. a patriots locker room attendant who supposedly took ball from the there official locker room and instead of taking them right to the feel, brought them to bill cosby's house. [ applause ] i love that we're using the term person of interest.
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like this was a terrorist attack. this is about air in some balls. someone went -- that's what this is about. it's really ridiculous how much attention the story is getting. you know, the murder trial for the former player aaron hernandez starts thursday. what do i have to get some attention? meanwhile, dennis rodman said he does not believe north korea was behind the hack of sony. and i'll say that his judgment has been dead on in the past. maybe we should -- he said jong-un treated him like one of the family which might not be a good thing if you ask his uncle. he said it was wrong to make the movie the interview. he doesn't think the movie is funny and this is a man who knows a bit about action comedy. lest you forget, he was one of the stars. definitely not gay porn movie double team. [ cheers and applause ]
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we have a very strong show tonight. channing tatum is here tonight. and from the houston texans, a great football player, j.j. watt is here. and we have music from zz top. zz top will be here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] jj, you're a little bit early. what's up? >> we're out of coffee. have you got any out here >> jimmy: no. we don't have any out here. i can send somebody next door. >> no, i can go get it. do you want anything? >> jimmy: well, actually we don't have a lot of time. i can send somebody. >> i'm pretty fast. >> jimmy: okay, i'd love one. medium whole milk latte half calf with the two splendas. thank you very much. >> got it.
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>> jimmy: that doesn't happen very often when guests are, will actually -- go next door. tackle me elmo right there. >> i need a whole milk half caf latte with two splendas. i'm going to jimmy kimmel. let's go! >> with cream? >> come on. let's go. >> jimmy: i think he lost the whipped cream. my goodness. guillermo, will you just clear the way there? i don't want anybody to get hurt when he come bursting back in. there we go. >> hang on, hang on. >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate that. where's yours? >> dang!
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>> jimmy: you forgot your own. that's jj watt. he'll be here later. there's nothing in the cup. we'll have music from zz top and jj watt is here and channing tatum! (richard) america, last year, we did not get you your billion back. we got you your billions back! so many billions, we started thinking, "this isn't tax season..." "this is refund season!" and nobody gets more of your money back than block- guaranteed. get your billions back america! it's the family plan families are flocking to. now at t-mobile, get 4 lines for a $100.
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>> jimmy: hi there. tonight, probably the best player in all the nfl, he's just back from the pro bowl, from the houston texans, j.j. watt is here. then another band of texans, their album is called "la futura," zz top from the at&t outdoor stage. it doesn't get any better than that. zz top goes on tour march 7th and then they'll be marching into your home. tomorrow night kevin costner will be here, oscar nominee eddie redmayne will join us. he won the sag award last night. and we'll hear music from jamie cullum. and later this week, david beckham, kerry washington, elle macpherson, dave salmoni and his wild animals, plus music from vance joy and ne-yo.
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so please join us for all those guests. our first guest is a talented actor who is easy on the eyes, ears, nose and even throat. his new science-fiction adventure movie is called "jupiter ascending." ♪ ♪ "jupiter ascending" opens in theaters february 6th. please welcome channing tatum. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how is it going? >> good. >> jimmy: how's life?
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>> amazing but crazy. >> jimmy: isn't it? you really are handsome. there's no getting around it. you are very busy right now. you just finished a movie which is fantastic. as an actor, that is about as good as it gets. >> literally the top. >> you were just cast in gambit. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and perhaps craziest of all, you other shooting a movie with quentin tarantino. >> it is extraordinarily insane every single day. he is one of the smartest people i've ever met. i think you've had him on air a few times. >> jimmy: i would agree with whatever you just said and whatever you're about to say, i agree with. >> i go to his house and you immediately realize how much you don't know about quentin. oh, god, i'm stupid. i should just let him talk. he's pretty much done your whole job for you. >> in what way?
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>> he starts telling but your character, where he grew up, how he was born. do you want to play this character? i feel like you might want to play this character. >> jimmy: every once in a while he does do that. he has everything thought out. the whole back story. do you quiz him on things? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you think he is making it up? >> you will run into something that he won't -- like what color was my suit when i died? in another life? and he'll be like, i'm going to take some time to think about that and come back to you. and he does. he comes back with like a five-page report. >> jimmy: are you one of the hateful eight? you can't say. >> jimmy: didn't we read the whole script online already? wasn't it already leaked? >> pretty sure. >> jimmy: and you finished the sequel to magic mike. [ cheers and applause ] >> i don't say this about very
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many things but it is bigger and better than the first one. >> jimmy: you still have 21 jumps. you say bigger and better. magic mike xxl. are you fat in this one? wonder that be a wonderful twist? >> that will be three. palm springs, playing in a casino. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter? >> 1 1/2. >> jimmy: my daughter is only half. she's 6 months old. pooped on me two times yesterday. >> does she have a face? >> jimmy: yeah. a face, ears, the whole thing. >> does she have a poop face? that's my favorite thing about babies. they have these different poop faces. what is yours like? she does this -- and i can't ever help but think that it reminds me of marlon brando and the godfather when he died.
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with the arms. every time. you're not supposed to react. >> jimmy: you're not? >> no. you don't want to distract them. yay! they're like, what? what's going on? you have to be neutral. >> jimmy: i didn't know this by the way. really! >> you have to be like -- she's probably telling her friends. >> my dad has the weirdest face that he makes when i poop. >> by the way, my dad could not be more complimentary of all of us, my brother, sister and me when we move our bowels. so i don't think he got that memo. good job! my daughter does a little, almost animalistic. like a little -- >> she growls. >> jimmy: yeah. there's a growl along with it. we were driving yesterday. my wife said there is another human being [ bleep ] in our car right now. >> other than your daughter.
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>> jimmy: and it's weird when you think about it. i heard, i don't know if this is true. is it one of these things our producer said that you had an imaginary friend growing up. is that true? >> i did. >> jimmy: what age? >> i don't know, actually. i can't remember how old i was until -- boy was his name. >> jimmy: boy. so you were not like the quenlin tarantino of conjuring up imaginary friends. >> he told me his name and it was boy and i didn't question him about it. >> jimmy: and you would talk to boy? >> yeah. he liked peanut butter sandwiches with cheetos inside. >> jimmy: did you also coincidentally like that? >> maybe. >> jimmy: then would you tell your mom, boy wants a sandwich. >> he wants it. i don't want it. i want it for him. >> jimmy: when was the last time you had a conversation with boy? >> not long -- i'm kidding. than long time. i should though. >> jimmy: i have a surprise for
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you. channing? bring him out. your imaginary best friend boy is here. boy, come on out! ♪ [ laughter ] >> what's up, man? this is crazy, huh? how long has it been? from the pool deck. >> jimmy: boy has really hit hard times. >> this is jimmy. >> jimmy: will you run and grab him a sandwich? >> peanut butter is good? >> he's cutting back on carbs so no cheetos. >> jimmy: if you're just tuning in, we have not gone insane. there is an imaginary boy. we have gone insane. we'll take a break. we'll be right back. ♪
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>> jimmy: we're back with channing tatum, j.j. watt and zz top. you're doing something interesting at the oscars this year. what is team oscar? >> it is a contest that the academy held. basically it was put out that anyone that wanted to make a one-minute video on the best piece of advice they've been given had the opportunity to bring out the statues of the
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academy awards on stage. the producers of the oscars, they really just wanted everyone on that stage to want to be there because they love movies and they want nike movies the rest of their lives >> jimmy: these are all young flick makers. they picked the best ones. do you know how many entries there were? >> thousands. the viewers and the actual people on the internet got to boil it down to about 50. and then we chose out of 50. >> jimmy: these people are waiting to see if their names will be mentioned. timally one would have an envelope. it would be sealed and a beautiful woman would bring them out but we wrote them down on this card. if would you do the honors and announce the winners. >> chris carmona. justin -- sorry, justin craig. kelly fitzgerald, justin floyd, reana, patrick walker. >> jimmy: two justins, everybody.
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wow! [ applause ] >> for all you know, i could have put my friends' names in there. >> jimmy: they're probably all your friends actually. do they win something? >> yeah. they get flown out to l.a. and i drive them around in my car for the next week. no, not at all. they get to go on tour, meet producers and actors and talk to them about their dreams. >> jimmy: your wife jana posted this photograph. it looked like she was maybe pre tending to take it of herself but you're getting a pedicure, i assume? >> that would be a pedicure, yep. >> jimmy: is this a regular thing for you? >> no, no. it was one of those, i don't want to do this, baby. then you get there, i should do this more often. have you ever had one? >> jimmy: once. i had one once. someone got it for me as a joke on vacation. >> it's awesome. they massage your feet. then they break out the power tools and that's weird. that's when it goes south. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> they break it out and start
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sanding down your feet. maybe it is just me. >> jimmy: i never heard of that before. they had to sand your feet? >> they sanded my toes down. it was crazy. >> jimmy: are they soft and supple like a baby? >> yeah. they're baby soft. yeah. >> jimmy: and it doesn't hurt? >> no. i don't have any toes anymore though. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't need toes. there's never been a use for them. what is this? >> this is a peanut butter sandwich. that was a dumb joke that didn't need to be revisited, guillermo. do you like the crusts on? give them to boy. he's loving it. i can see. congratulations on your baby and all your success and everything. channing tatum! the oscars live! airs oscar sunday, february 22nd at 7pm eastern, 4pm pacific on abc. we'll be right back.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. j.j. watt and music from zz top but first we have a security guard here at the show. her name is adelina. there she is our precious adelina. adelina loves to snack. so from time to time, we deliver a weird food item to adelina's desk to see what she will eat and what she won't. we've done it about ten times. so far, she's eaten everything but tonight is another night. will she or won't she? we're about to find out in tonight's edition of will adelina eat it? ♪ >> whoa! [ bleep ]. >> oh, doughnuts. i like this one.
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♪ hungry eyes >> jimmy: i have no explanation for that. we'll be right back with j.j. watt. i've had a lot of hondas. we went around the country, talking to people who made the switch to ford. i loved the look of the fusion... we test drove it...i was like "this is my car". all-wheel drive is amazing... i felt so secure. you can do it, emmie! ecoboost is when you can take a four cylinder and make it feel like a six cylinder... i was really surprised... i drove the fusion... and i never went back. make the switch to america's favorite brand. check out special offers on ford fusion at ford.com or see your local ford dealer. ♪ [bassist] two late nights in blew an amp.but good nights. sure,music's why we do this,but it's still our business. we spend days booking gigs, then we've gotta put in the miles to get there.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is the most feared defensive end in all the nfl. he was in his 3rd pro bowl yesterday and now he is here. from the houston texans, please welcome j.j. watt. [ cheers and applause ] how is it going? >> you have me on after channing. >> jimmy: it's not fair to me. don't worry about channing. you're doing all right for yourself. i can't even imagine playing football against you. just looking across the feel and there you are, i would probably cry. i really, i think i would. >> it's not like that. those people in the coffee room are much harder. >> jimmy: you were the mvp of the pro bowl. [ cheers and applause ]
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it is certainly an honor to be named to the pro bowl. did you take the game seriously? >> well, the defensive mvp gets a truck. so yes, i took it very seriously. >> jimmy: you wanted the truck. >> i wanted the truck. you have like a $100 million contract and you still wanted the truck. >> i would like to keep the 100 if i could. >> jimmy: are you thrifty with your money? >> i try to be. i grew up in a small town in wisconsin. that's the whole population right there. good to see you guys. a middle class family, my dad was a firefighter. my mom worked up from the secretary to the vice president of the company. and i've tried to be smart with my money. my buddy was there and he was the only one in my house. hey, man, i just signed this contract. he was like norg way. yeah. $100 million. he goes what are you going to do? i don't know what i'm going to do. he goes, google it. do what?
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you have to buy something, man. google it. so we went to google. and what do rich people buy? [ applause ] he clicked on the first link. that was oprah rich. that was the wrong -- that was private islands and yachts. no, no, let's go to the next one. it was private jets and everything. so i didn't buy anything. so here i sit. >> jimmy: that's all right. that's good. you have plenty of time to spend many money and i think that it is a fairly rare thing that a player, a professional athlete is that care wfl his money, yes? >> i would like to think so. >> jimmy: you know what i would do, i would buy jewelry. >> as much as you can. as much as you can. >> jimmy: i would buy like a $750,000 chain with jesus' head at the end. i think that's what jesus would want us to do with that kind of money. >> that's it. >> jimmy: you had an unbelievable season.
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i'll read your stats sfatackles five touchdowns, one interception, all in one game. first player ever to record 20 sacks in the season two times. first defensive player to score five touchdowns in the season since 1971. first player to score multiple touchdowns on offense and defense since 1956. [ applause ] are you aware of this sort of thing? while you're receiving these goals? do you even know that they're records? >> i think it is one of those things a the season goes on, they let you know. to hear the records that have been set since the 1950s and earlier, i think it is one of those things when i'm done with my career and i'm sitting on a porch in wisconsin, i'll think about it. for right now there's so much left that i would like to accomplish. >> who cares? you got $100 million. you got a truck. what do you need? the last time you played seattle
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seahawks were in the super bowl ask this happened. yeah, right? see? he earned his money. what happened there? >> i was chasing russell. trying to tackle him. and chased him out of bounds, knocked him out of bounds. my helmet popped up into my face. knocked my nose a little bit bloody and i got a few text messages from my mother after the game. >> jimmy: i bet. >> so i had my mother not happy. i had my high school buddies stoked because i looked like some sort of savage. and then i had my brother, i had my brothers texting me after the game, you know, you could have just wiped it off and not left it there the rest of the game. so they thought i was playing it up for the cameras. >> jimmy: were you? >> no. i felt terrible. the trarn tried to take a cloth. it hurt on my bones. he put on it there and i swatted him away. that didn't go over well with trainers around the country.
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>> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, i got some mean tweets from trainers around the country. i'm sorry again. >> jimmy: i'm sure he understands. your brothers play. are they as big as you are? >> jimmy: they're pretty big. my youngest one is about 6'5", 250. my other one is about 6'3", about 240 >> jimmy: did you each of your own refrigerator at home? >> yeah. the grocery bills were long. the target receipts? long receipts. >> jimmy: yeah. [ applause ] oh, boy. your mother really had her hands full, i guess. >> we're so grateful. my mom was unbelievable. between her and my dad, we would have a hot breakfast every morning. we would have two dinners every night. like a 4:30 dinner and then swing it back around for a 6:30 dinner and then a snack. about a gallon of milk a day
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between us. >> jimmy: really! like paul bunyan or something. >> yeah. it didn't really help my corn fed stereo time. >> jimmy: and yet as big as you are, you're a very nimble type. this is a video that went viral -- how many inches -- sorry. [ applause ] all right. just watch this. how many -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you and your brothers must have destroyed all the furniture in the house. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i was wondering if could you do that with a suit. on can you do that with a suit on? what size shoes do you wear? >> about a 15. >> jimmy: these might fit.
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let's open this -- you put those on. and guillermo, i'm going to need you to help me. i think maybe guillermo, you get on my back. we'll have a little pyramid. and then you can jump over -- give it a shot. let's do it. i don't know if this is a sturdy device. >> if my pants rip, it's your bill. >> jimmy: don't worry. i'll take care of your pants. guillermo, why are you hiding your head? >> no laughing. >> jimmy: all right. [ drum roll ] ♪ >> jimmy: we'll be right back
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with zz top!
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this is an allen family production. and here's why we love chex. one, we love choices like chocolate, vanilla and honey nut. two, we don't love artificial colors or flavors. does anybody? and three...it's gluten free. chex. full of what you love. free of what you don't. have you tried gluten free chex oatmeal and new chex granola mix? two more delicious reasons to love chex.
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the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank channing tatum, j.j. watt and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, this is their album. it's called "la futura." here with the song "i gotsta get paid," zz top! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ 25 lighters on my dressa, yessa ♪ i gotsta get paid ♪ i got 25 lighters on my dressa, yessa ♪ ♪ you know i gotsta get paid ♪ i got 25 lighters on my 25 folks ♪ ♪ gonna break the bank run 25 more ♪ ♪ gripping the suit with 25 flows ♪ ♪ i got 25 lighters, well, don't you know ♪ ♪ 25 fly diamonds in my ring ♪ 25 12s in the trunk to bang,
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uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ ♪ make it move making 25 mill ♪ got enough for a 99 seville ♪ 25 lighters on my dressa yessa ♪ ♪ i gotsta get paid i got 25 lighters on my dressa yessa ♪ ♪ you know i gotsta get paid ♪ ♪
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♪ zig and me is climbing out 25 doors representing for the -- come on, give it to me one time ♪ ♪ zz nuttin but 25 out the door him and hawing we gonna doin it ♪ ♪ to the 25 shows 25 lighters on my dressa yessa ♪ ♪ i gotsta, gotsta get paid ♪ i got 25 lighters on my dressa yessa ♪ ♪ you know i gotsta get paid ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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// this is "nightline." >> only the the ferocious blizzard bearing down at this hour on 50 million americans. state of emergency declared across seven states. schools canceled. travel on the roads and in the air at a standstill. our team on the ground bringing you the latest. we are young put rock star jack on the map. ♪ we are young >> now he writes for taylor swift. why did it take him until 28 to move out of his parents' house? >> were you really into your mom's cooking? >> no. i don't really appreciate her cooking. >> tonht

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