Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 2, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PST

11:35 pm
and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- mark ruffalo, from "fresh off the boat" constance wu, and it's mashup monday with music from color me bradd. with cleto and the cletones. and new now, mark my words, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:36 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for coming. i will say that we have a big night of candy and crying in store for you tonight. it's very good to have you here. any of you show up an hour early because of daylight savings time? daylight savings time ended yesterday. this is the good one where it goes an hour back, not the terrible nightmare one that ruins our lives. i've found that i spend that extra hour trying to figure out how to reset the time on the microwave and my alarm clock by the bed, the clock in my car. what is it with the clock in the car? why does my car know how to get to san diego but doesn't know what time it is? shouldn't that be automatic? and now it's going to be dark by lunch time. why do we go along with this every year? daylight saving is one of those
11:37 pm
things we do for no reason. like signing up for a gym membership, it makes no sense. hillary clinton is going to be here on thursday. maybe i'll ask her if she plans to do something about this damned daylight savings time. meanwhile, i don't know if this had anything to do with the time change, there are wind advisories in effect in los angeles. we had wind going into halloween weekend. we don't have much weather here. but when we do, even just a tiny bit, our local news crews grab hold of that and they run like hell. >> we're seen some pretty heavy wind gusts. you can see the flags are flapping behind me. >> take a look at these flags on top of the restaurant here. they have been flapping very hard all night long. >> so we saw a lot of the palm trees moving, we've seen other trees blowing around. >> listening to the wind at night, we woke up in the middle of the night with the blinds shaking. >> halloween decorations were blowing away, flying all over the streets. it's not halloween, it's hallow-wind.
11:38 pm
>> jimmy: you're damn right it is. please keep our flags in your prayers at this difficult time. it was hell. speaking of hell, did you watch the world series last night? [ cheers and applause ] my team the new york mets lost to the kansas city royals yet another devastating extra-inning game. they were up 2-0 the whole game. until the ninth inning. then just like that, they weren't up, they were tied. then they were down. then -- now they're out. so it was a brutal, spirit-crushing loss. mr. met tried to put his head in the oven but it wouldn't fit. the royals are world champions. this is extra terrible because i made a dumb bet. eric stonestreet from "modern family," a big royals fan, we made a wager. now he gets to shoot me with a paint ball gun in a bounce house. i get in a bounce house and he shoots me with the gun. i believe he's planning to do that wednesday night. i also believe he's planning to bring some of the kansas city royals to help them which was not agreed upon, that was not
11:39 pm
part of the bet. that's eric stonestreet in case you're wondering. batman's enemy is a clown and so is mine. he better not show up in a little car with a bunch of friends. so that will happen on wednesday. and it was a great and surprising season for the new york mets. came to an excruciating end. at least the mets will finally get rest and have time to do some of the stuff they weren't able to do during the world series -- like field a groundball! sorry. [ cheers and applause ] sorry, it was a great season. the world series wasn't the only big apple sporting event yesterday. they ran the new york city marathon. the winner of the men's race this year was a truck driver from ft. worth named jeff stubblefield -- just kidding. it was a kenyan. two kenyans actually. for the third straight year, a pair of kenyans swept the gold medals at the marathon. there they are.
11:40 pm
stanley b. watt and mary kitane. [ cheers and applause ] i want to point out -- they traveled more than 7,000 miles to win what is essentially a decorative plate. probably could have got one on etsy for half the cost. congratulations to stanley, mary, the people of kenya. you did it again. kenyans might be the best at marathons when it comes to running but americans are the best at "real housewives" marathons. we will not be challenged by anyone. happy halloween. did you know it was halloween this weekend? apparently it was. [ cheers and applause ] wish someone would post a photo of themselves in a costume on facebook so we'd know. it was 90 degrees here on saturday. halloween's different in l.a. i handed a kid a kit kat, she asked if there were gluten-free options. actually, that didn't happen. that was a joke. yeah. my favorite thing to do when kids come to the door trick-or-treating is pretend i
11:41 pm
have no idea what they're talking about. you want what? why are you dressed like a hockey player? i'm calling the police. of all the candies out there, it's unbelievable. the one candy that it's amazing that it's survived all these years. smarties. anybody like smarties? [ cheers and applause ] you're a bunch of dummies. it's the worst. there are hundreds of delicious candy bars. there's gum. there are lollipops. how the hell do those little antacids wrapped in plastic -- are they cheaper than other candies? ah, they should call them cheapies. this is pretty good, a guy dressed at darth vader tried to ride one of those hover board things around his house. i like what he's done with the death star, it's very homey.
11:42 pm
maybe the weirdest thing i saw this halloween weekend happened during the kathie lee and hoda portion of the "today" show. kathie lee and hoda dressed as woodstock and snoopy from "peanuts." now watch this. it's very quiet but soak it all in. ♪ >> whoo! oh, oh! ♪ oh ho ho, oh! >> jimmy: was that not a genuine moment of insanity? what was happening? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] got the straws. hi, my name is hoda. my rock bottom came when i was dressed as snoopy. and drank wine out of a dog's bowl. this is unbelievable. this happened in san diego on
11:43 pm
halloween. and i really want to help get to the bottom of it because this is the kind of thing that really drives me nuts. >> a mom seen here in the bunny ears with the children knocked on a door but no one was home. the homeowner left full-sized candy bars and a note reading, "help yourself but be considerate." >> take one. >> the mom takes bar after bar. >> mom! >> clearing out the boxes. she encourages the kids to do the same thing. the homeowner hopes someone will recognize this woman. >> jimmy: we recognize her, that's honey boo-boo's mother, we recognize her. oh, i would love to know who this person is. i really would. something tells me she already destroyed the evidence. but i would love to find out. can you imagine doing that? if you have any information on this horrible woman, if you see a giant easter bunny selling used candy outside a cvs, please call your local authorities. if they don't do anything, call me. i will do something. we must bring this monster to justice. [ cheers and applause ]
11:44 pm
speaking of people doing the worst, from the new movie "spotlight," the incredible mark ruffalo is here. [ cheers and applause ] "fresh off the boat" constance wu is with us. and we are celebrating the return of "mashup monday" where we mash two music acts up to perform as one. tonight color me bad and brad paisley will join to form a mini color me bradd. and more good news, they want to sex you up. so that will be good. it's part of our two musical guests who couldn't have any less in common series. it's not only have these two never played together, they've never even been on the same mix tape. so later on color me bradd. when we come back, one of our biggest nights of the year, our annual halloween candy youtube challenge, parents pretend they ate all their kids' halloween candy.
11:45 pm
we've done this the last four years. i really believe this is the best one yet. when we come back the fifth annual halloween candy youtube challenge. stick around! we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] is that coffee?s yea, it's nespresso. i want in. ♪ ♪ ♪
11:46 pm
♪ you're ready. ♪ ♪ ♪ is that coffee? get ready to experience a cup above. nespresso. what else? because now i've got pantene i knshampoo and conditioner hair, but i'm never gonna stop. the pro-v formula locks moisture inside my hair and the damage from 100 blow-dries is gone. pantene. strong is beautiful. target casting, day three. aaah!... he nailed it! why are you right for the role of "lucy"? because i'm always right. i like your style. wow! this is humongous.
11:47 pm
whelp, i'm sold. bleah! uuhhh... bark, bark. [cheering] ♪ time in the service... community college... it matters. it's why we, at universitity of phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience as credits toward your degree. learn more at phoenix.edu.
11:48 pm
11:49 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. marc ruffalo, constance wu, "mashup monday" music from color me bradd is on the way. probably our most-anticipated tradition the show, my annual
11:50 pm
halloween candy youtube challenge. for each of the past four years i've asked parents to pretend they ate all their kids' halloween candy and post reaction to youtube. we never run out of participants for this. every year i think kids are going to know, maybe they'll be too old to fall for it. every year there's a new crop. i will be able to do this for as long as people continue to have sex. we've got a record number of videos this year. well over 1,000. it was a mammoth undertaking to go through all of them but we narrowed it down to what we felt were the best of the best. it's time now for hey jimmy kimmel i told my kids i ate all their halloween candy. >> what? >> last night after you guys went to bed -- >> what? >> me and dad ate all your candy. >> oh! >> really? >> our candy? >> aahhh! >> mean mommy!
11:51 pm
>> are you kidding me? >> no, i mean -- >> are you kidding me? are you kidding me? are you kidding me, dad? >> i got really hungry and i ate it all. >> wait! when was the last time you told me a joke? >> this time it's not a joke. >> i'm going to go -- if i see no candy you are in big trouble, young lady! >> my candy is gone! >> where'd it go? >> mom and dad ate it. i ate it. i ate it all. >> mommy ate all your candy. >> i ate it. i'm sorry. you have next year. next year you can get more,
11:52 pm
okay? >> daddy and i ate all the candy. >> mm! mm! wah! [ screaming ] >> did you eat all the chocolate things? >> yes. i didn't want to wake you up. >> did you eat the -- >> i ate all of it. daddy too. >> you forgot your candy.
11:53 pm
>> you guys ate my candy! i wanted to trade at school! >> i wanted to eat it! did you eat my candy? no don't eat my candy! candy! >> there's all wrappers in there, turkey bottle! >> derek, there's a couple pieces left in there. >> no! >> i ate all your halloween candy. >> what? >> you ate all my candy? >> i ate all your halloween candy. >> no! that's so rude! that's so rude! >> that is rude. >> it was really -- >> i'm super, super angry at
11:54 pm
you! >> you're going to be really upset with me. >> why? >> because i ate all your candy. i ate it all last night. >> i'm so sorry. do you forgive me? >> mommy! >> you do? you don't? >> i'm glad you're smiling because you think it's funny but he seriously ate every bit of your halloween candy. >> yeah. >> that is totally dumb. you're lying. it's really funny, though. >> sorry, we're not falling for it. >> mommy ate all your candy. all your halloween candy. >> it's all right. >> it's all right?
11:55 pm
>> yeah. >> so you're not mad at mommy or anything? >> no. >> aw, i love you. >> last night after you went to sleep, we ate all your halloween candy. >> i got really, really hungry and i ate all your halloween candy while you were at school. >> how? >> what do you mean how? i ate it. >> i don't want to see you ever again. go get a job. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks, kids. thanks, parents. thanks, everyone who sent in a video. tonight on the show, "mashup monday" with color me bradd paisley. "fresh off the boat" constance wu is here. be right back with mark ruffalo
11:56 pm
so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by crown royal, the one made for a king. please drink responsibly. where are we watching the game? you'll see. i think my boys have a shot this year. yeah, especially with this new offense we're running... i mean, our running back is a beast. once he hits the hole and breaks through the secondary, oh he's gone. and our linebackers and dbs dish out punishment, and never quit. ♪ you didn't expect this did you? no i didn't. the nissan altima. there's a fun side to every drive. nissan. innovation that excites.
11:57 pm
11:58 pm
the open water paddlers. greenwood runners. the hike life trail club. for us it's not about running faster. it's about being out here together. the feeling is hard to describe. you cant put put into words.
11:59 pm
but we don't have to. for friends who come together to reach for better. we brew a superior tasting light beer with fewer carbs and calories. michelob ultra. the superior light beer.
12:00 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. we're back. tonight, from the critically-acclaimed comedy "fresh off the boat" which can be seen tuesday nights on abc, constance wu is here. then the triumphant return of mash-up mondays where we mash two acts together to create one
12:01 am
ridiculous band. tonight, brad paisley and color me badd unite to form "color me bradd" from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] we flaw the band out here, managers, sound guys, just because of a stupid pun. next monday we have another one. i'll see you then. tomorrow night sharon stone will be here, dave bautista will join us, and jason aldean live from nashville. and speaking of nashville, wednesday night after the country music awards a special cross country hologram show we did this last year, we will be simulcasting from hollywood to nashville and nashville to hollywood via hologram. in nashville -- guillermo, you understand? >> guillermo: i do. >> jimmy: they will see 3d figures of us on their stage, and we will have 3d figures of some of the performers and bands, the band perry will be
12:02 am
here performing as a hologram. [ cheers and applause ] you understand? >> guillermo: yeah, i do understand. >> jimmy: okay, can you explain it to me? because i have no idea how it works. >> guillermo: i think we're going to run out of time. >> jimmy: all right. seth rogen will be our guest, a country music edition of "mean tweets." jake owen, the up and down perry, eric stonestreet will be firing paint balls at me. [ cheers and applause ] and on thursday hillary clinton will be here, as will the comedy team of bob odenkirk and david cross. so join us then. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an oscar-nominated, emmy-winning actor whom you wouldn't like if he was angry. starting friday, you can see him alongside michael keaton and stanley tucci in the new movie "spotlight." please say hello to mark ruffalo. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:03 am
>> jimmy: how you doing? >> how nice. >> jimmy: are you a depressed mets fan as well? are you a mets fan yourself? >> i was. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was tough. >> jimmy: i guess you know they gave us so much more than we expected this season, we should be happy. >> i know. >> jimmy: yet i'm not. >> well -- i think it is like a call-back audition. you know, you get detail-backs but you never get the job. finally after a lot of call-backs you get the job. >> jimmy: except we didn't. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it didn't work out that way. >> jimmy: how was halloween for you? >> it was great. >> jimmy: how old are your kids now? >> so i have a 14-year-old boy keane. bella 10. odette 8. >> jimmy: okay. >> we had several of their friends with us. and we went down the two blocks that allow halloween in new york city. >> jimmy: is that right? is it limited in new york?
12:04 am
>> no, but it kind of skips a block or two. >> jimmy: really? >> it's amazing how stingy new yorkers are about halloween. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. >> i mean, maybe it was a neighborhood we were in. >> jimmy: yeah. some neighborhoods are great. some are terrible. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we get no kids in our neighborhood. i put the candy -- i try to get that woman to come steal the candy out of the bowl. >> i have 800 kids i could bring to your neighborhood. >> jimmy: maybe i'll send the candy to you, that might be the easier way to go. you did something great. and much appreciated. you shot and i stole your halloween candy video with your own children. >> yeah, yeah. it was cruel. >> jimmy: with the younger ones? because your 14-year-old wouldn't buy this. >> my 14-year-old wouldn't go for it. my younger ones and a couple of their friends. >> okay. we have the video. and -- i think -- let's just show it. do you need to start it up? >> no, let's just do it. >> jimmy: let's look at it. >> all right. i'm going to tell the kids that
12:05 am
i ate all their candy. i'm going to put one in my mouth now. so they think that i ate them all. mm! mm! mm! oh, man! that candy's so good! >> what do you want? >> i just ate all your candy. oh, no, no! . >> jimmy: oh, they've got to be careful, they really have to be careful. [ cheers and applause ] >> this we mad about it. >> jimmy: that was good. i saw that this afternoon and i thought, you know, you really didn't need to put the, what was that, a reese's peanut butter cup in your mouth? >> i wanted to sell it. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> they're the ones who showed me jimmy kimmel's i ate your halloween candy. >> jimmy: now they're being paid back for doing it. >> i have to admit that was set up. >> jimmy: yeah, the kids are
12:06 am
from an acting family. >> legacy thing. >> jimmy: they did a good job. >> you bought isn't it. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> did you buy it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: cgi was incredible. >> kids, i stole your residuals. >> jimmy: do your kids pull pranks on you as well? >> well -- i like to prank my kids. and so they caught on to that. yes, i do get pranked by them. i got viciously pranked by my 10-year-old. >> jimmy:viciously pranked? >> i was talking to her on the phone, she was in the car with her mom. and i was talking to her. how was your day? good -- oh my god, oh god dad, i gotta hang up! we're in an accident, terrible accident! >> jimmy: oh my gosh. what? what? >> hello?
12:07 am
she's just [ bleep ]ing you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's cool. >> i love it. >> jimmy: yeah, by the time that kid's 18 she's going to be lighting your house on fire. >> that's not funny. >> jimmy: no. >> no. >> jimmy: no, it isn't. >> sh -- she may be watching. >> she may be, i don't want to give her any ideas. >> no, you don't. >> jimmy: i saw your movie and it's really great. what a great movie this is. >> thanks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a true story. >> yes. >> jimmy: the cast is absolutely phenomenal. >> the best. >> jimmy: the story, the whole thing is really great. i think people will confirm that when the critics release the reviews. but it's called "spotlight." and it's a very heavy story. but the way you guys did it, it's so -- well, tell a little bit about what it is about. >> let's see.
12:08 am
it's basically an investigation that the "boston globe's" special investigative wing spotlight did to uncover the priest molestation scandals in boston. and how it led up to the boston archdiocese, cardinal law, and even up into a cover-up that goes all the way to the vatican. it shocked the entire world at the time. and really, it's a story that i think a lot of us knew but when you get inside of the investigation and you see how well journalism works when it works and you see what it's like to track down a story and take every lead. it's really quite exciting. and because it's an investigation to get away from the salacious nature of it, which, you know -- i mean, at the bottom of it, it's priests raping kids and there's a
12:09 am
massive cover-up, it's horrible. but we're led down it with so much intellect and dispassion, the way a real investigation goes, that it allows the audience to goal that journey without getting the ick factor. there's no doubt in your mind that what happened happened. and it was monumentally wrong. and i think this movie will give the thousands of victims have come out since this, will give these people and the catholic church a chance to start to heal the wounds that were opened up around the world, around this scandal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: people have to really see it. i remember the story and i remember when it happened. but the specifics, to be reminded of them, really is overwhelming. it's overwhelming. the fact that the outcome -- i don't want to talk about the outcome. but people know what the story is. justice really wasn't necessarily served.
12:10 am
>> not necessarily, no. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i think with this pope and people being awake to this now, i think we're in a particular place where justice could be served. >> jimmy: we have a clip from the movie. do you need to say anything about this before we show it? >> no. >> jimmy: okay. from "spotlight," take a look. >> so i could walk into that courthouse right now and get those documents? >> no. you cannot. because the documents are not there. >> but you just said they're public. >> i know i did. but this is boston. and the church does not want them to be found. so they are not there. >> rich, are you telling me that the catholic church removed legal documents from that courthouse? >> look. i'm not crazy. i'm not paranoid. i'm experienced. check the docket. you'll see. it will show everything. >> jimmy: the great stanley tucci and mark ruffalo.
12:11 am
he was great in the movie. i don't want to leave anybody out. michael keaton was fantastic also. are you of the age that working with michael keaton is like the biggest deal in the world? >> are you kidding me? i literally crapped my pants. i was so nervous working with him. but i -- because i watched him growing up. >> jimmy: of course, yeah. >> i had a very uncomfortable moment with him. >> jimmy: you did? please share it with us. >> so funny you would ask that. i was -- we were rehearsing and i was going to -- he said, why don't you walk me home? so i said sure. god, michael keaton, yeah. we're walking. hey, it's so amazing this kind of renaissance that you're having right now, it's really exciting. he's like, what renaissance? well, you know, this kind of
12:12 am
like -- this -- uh, this kind of comeback you're having, it's amazing. he's like, comeback? i never knew i left. i had ten more blocks of this. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your balls busted by betelgeuse. it's wonderful to have you here. "spotlight" opens in theaters friday. we'll be right back! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by count down to hallmark christmas.
12:13 am
i want to get the new iphone as little birthday treat for myself. oh, great! well, when you get an iphone from at&t, you get the network with the nation's strongest 4g lte signal. so happy birthday. thanks. but actually my birthday is not for another 5 months. i just wanted the new iphone, but now i'm feeling guilty because you went and got me an awesome network. actually, we offer that to everybody. even that guy? yep. you didn't even look. he's part of everybody. get the new iphone at at&t and the network with the nation's strongest 4g lte signal. and right now get $300 credit for every line you switch. ♪ ♪ (under loud music) this is the place. ♪ ♪ their beard salve is made from ♪ ♪ sustainable tea tree oil and kale... you, my friend, recognize when a trend has reached critical mass. yes, when others focus on one thing, you see what's coming next. you see opportunity. that's what a type e* does. and so it begins. with e*trade's investing insights center, you can spot trends before they become trendy.
12:14 am
e*trade. opportunity is everywhere. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ give extra. get extra. maria. ♪ there are thousands of ways into the complex health care system. and choosing unitedhealthcare can help make it simpler with our 24/7 nurseline. nurse:(over phone) if it's pinkeye, it could be contagious.
12:15 am
oh. i know. unitedhealthcare iand sometimes, an even longer night. helping with homework before doing your own. and you may think no one notices... but she does. she sees more than "mom," she sees determination. we do too. for nearly 40 years, we've designed an education for people just like you. learn more at phoenix.edu.
12:16 am
12:17 am
12:18 am
still to come, constance wu and color me bradd. it's the middle of the night. before you fall asleep guillermo would like to tell you a bedtime story about the fascinating history of crown royal history which was made for a king. here it is the complete and completely accurate history of crown royal. >> guillermo: good evening. once upon a time there was a handsome king. and a beautiful queen lady. one day the king say, we should visit a magical land. yes, say the queen. a magical land like canada. good, get them on the phone.
12:19 am
>> hello, this is canada,eh? >> hello, this is queen. we're coming to visit you so prepare for our arrival. >> okay, we will prepare for your arrival. >> thank you. >> canada has to gained a perfect gift for the royal people. towels? no. a drum set? no. beef jerky? no. a mechanical pencil? nah. i know! whiskey! but not just any whiskey. and so master blenders set out to make the world's finest whiskey. >> what gift do you have for me? it better be fit for a king because i am the king. if not i will feed you to a dragon, probably. >> have a drink. of crown royal whiskey. >> this is the best whiskey in the world! i will not feed you to a dragon. i love you. >> i love you too. >> and they lived happily ever
12:20 am
after. true story. >> dicky: crown royal, the one made for a king. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back with constance wu! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ there are things we expect from a phone screen we expect it to be ridged. we expect it to be flat. we expect it to be fragile. but what if it wasn't? wouldn't that change what we expect from a phone?
12:21 am
meet the new droid turbo 2. with moto shattershield technology. the world's first shatterproof screen. only on verizon. i will take beauty into my own hands. olay regenerist. it regenerates surface cells. new skin is revealed in only 5 days. without drastic measures. stunningly youthful. award-winning skin. from the world's #1. olay, your best beautiful
12:22 am
12:23 am
♪ ♪ [ screaming ] rate suckers! [ bell dinging ] your car insurance goes up because of their bad driving. people try all sorts of ways to get rid of them. [ driver panting ] if you're sick of paying more than your fair share... [ screams ] get snapshot from progressive, and see just how much your good driving could save you.
12:24 am
[indistinct high pitched speech] ♪ [loud electric guitar solo] ♪ it's a different kind of peanut butter cup. smooth and crunchy butterfinger peanut butter cups. now in minis. ♪
12:25 am
>> jimmy: still to come, music from color me bradd. if you've always wanted to visit the magical time and place known as orlando in the mid-1990s you don't need a time machine to be there. "fresh off the boat" airs tuesdays at 8:30 here on abc. please say hello to constance wu. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ very good to have you here. and congratulations on the show. it's very popular, very funny. it's doing very well. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you came out of nowhere. were you doing sketch comedy? >> well, somewhere. >> jimmy: everyone comes out of somewhere. but what were you doing before
12:26 am
this? did you do like -- sketch comedy that sort of thing? >> i have never done a comedy before, really, ever. so i was kind of like terrified. i did like drama. >> jimmy: drama stuff, wow. >> in fact, my very first job ever in college was when i was on "law and order svu." >> jimmy: in college? >> playing an underaged prostitute. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm known for the underage prostitute part more? >> jimmy: probably for both. >> or for the leaps and bounds i made to go from underage prostitute to mother of three. time to become a mother, right? >> jimmy: that's exactly right. >> i don't have know. >> jimmy: did you on that show -- were you like a victim prostitute? >> you know, i actually wasn't a prostitute. >> jimmy: oh. >> but they thought i was. and, you kn, i knew i could be an actor because i had to say a line that was very difficult to say. and like make it believable.
12:27 am
>> jimmy: what was the line? >> i was a sullen teenager right? "well, i saw the wedding ring on his finger but it felt like partying. it's not that big of a deal." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> it get like partying! >> jimmy: this wasn't a comedy? >> no. because then connie nielsen, she says, "it was to the girls he killed." and i had to turn it around. >> jimmy: right. >> oh, chris saved me from certain dead. >> jimmy: are you having fun -- the show is based loosely on a real family. >> yes. >> jimmy: a memoir. and have you met the woman whom you play? >> yes, it's based on a real live woman named jessica huang who is still living in orlando today. hello, jessica, if you're watching. >> jimmy: is anyone really living in orlando? >> i think the only people who are living are in orlando.
12:28 am
>> jimmy: maybe you're right. >> they know the secrets to living. >> jimmy: does she come to the set and observe and critique? >> oh no. >> jimmy: no, okay, good. >> i think i would be insane if that happened. >> jimmy: where did you meet her? i met her at her home. >> jimmy: oh. >> in orlando. which is very lavish. which matches her very lavish personality. >> jimmy: i see. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're kind of stern on the show, the character. is she that way? >> you know, i think she is very stern but she's older. our show takes place in the '90s so i think her sternness is -- was probably tougher in the '90s because she's dealing with three preteen boys. >> jimmy: gotcha, yeah. >> now she's like rich and can just buy a lot of diamonds and fancy handbags. so if you can, then i guess you do. that's what i learned from her. >> jimmy: i must ask you about this photograph. you had shaquille o'neal a costar on the show. >> a very small one. >> jimmy: how did you enjoy acting with shaq?
12:29 am
>> i enjoy -- enjoy is not necessarily the world. >> jimmy: what is the word? >> i think i was entertained by it. you've got to understand, shaq is this guy -- >> jimmy: he's the best. >> no holds barred. >> jimmy: he's a goofball. >> yeah, i think a wardrobe person was fixing his shoe and he just reached over, touched his head. and he goes, "man, let go, you're losing your hair, it's gone." and there was a sound guy who had like really nice cal calves he kept calling him mr. cavs. he kept telling me he'd marry me, one stipulation. i had to be a size 0 or 2. >> jimmy: you probably are, right? >> i am and i ain't got no ring, i don't know. that's how you know. he's all talk. >> jimmy: would you consider marrying shaq?
12:30 am
>> well, i got to see if he could get down on one knee, which he'd still be taller than me. >> jimmy: he would. here's the picture. what i love about this picture -- [ laughter ] everyone is looking at a different camera. there's no coordination there. as far as who to look at. was this before or after he proposed to you? >> i don't know. you know what, though? the nicest guy ever. and equal opportunity proposer. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> like he was proposing to everything. >> jimmy: oh. oh, you weren't the only one. >> if a basketball fit into a size 2 dress he was on his knees. he was all about it. >> jimmy: if shaq married a basketball and then they had a baby together, how good a player would that kid be? [ laughter ] >> they'd have to change the sport. like it wouldn't even -- >> jimmy: they'd have to raise the basket. it's very nice to meet you.
12:31 am
congratulations on the show. [ cheers and applause ] "fresh off the boat" airs tuesday nights at 8:30 here on abc. constance wu, everybody. thank you, constance. when we return mash-up monday music from "color me bradd." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung.
12:32 am
on his legendary quest jack went looking for a man. known simply as...the onion whisperer. the onion said... "you must prepare me three ways... " "...then put it all on a burger..." "...and make a commercial about it." and that's the legend of the cheddar onion buttery jack.
12:33 am
crispy, grilled and caramelized-onion aioli. the cheddar onion buttery jack. part of the buttery jack family. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank mark ruffalo, constance wu, apologies to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, kicking off this month's mash-up monday series the weird way, color me bradd! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tick tock and you don't stop to the tick tock and you don't stop to the tick tock and you ♪ ♪ don't stop to the tick tock and you don't stop to the m ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
12:34 am
♪ come inside take off your coat i'll make you feel at home now let's pour a glass of wine ♪ ♪ 'cause now we're all alone i've been waiting all night so just let me hold you close to me 'cause i've been ♪ ♪ dyin' for you girl and make love to me ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh girl you make me ♪ ♪ feel real good ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh we can do it 'til we both wake up ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh girl you know i'm hooked on you ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ and this is what i'll do ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh i wanna sex you up all night you make me ♪ ♪ feel real good ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh i wanna sex you up let me take off ♪
12:35 am
♪ all your clothes disconnect the phone so nobody knows let me light a candle ♪ so that we can make it better makin' love until we drown ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ note girl you know it feels real good ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh we can do it 'til ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh girl you know i'm hooked on you ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh and this is what i'll do ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh i wanna sex you up ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh i wanna sex you up tell them brad. ♪ girl you just make me feel so
12:36 am
good ♪ ♪ oh i just want to look at you ♪ ♪ don't say nothing at all just lay back and enjoy the ride ♪ make sweet love ♪ ♪ all night long feels so right it can't be wrong ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ don't be shy girl rescue me i wanna sex you up ♪ ♪ open up your heart and i'll set you free ♪ ♪ ♪ i want to touch you in all the right places baby ♪ ♪ i want to make hoff to you ♪ i wanna sex you up
12:37 am
this is "nightline." >> tonight, inside the saga of robert durst. the multi-millionaire real estate heir and the start of "the jinx." his wife disappeared without a trace. could he board have been right here the whole time? >> she is here. there's no doubt in my mind that she's here. >> tonight the former prosecutor who's been on his case for years, determined to get justice. >> he should be shot in the back of the head and his body should be dismembered like he did to everyone else. welcome to the victorian life. at first it was fashion. then she was hooked. >> sometimes little girls will ask me if i'm a princess. >> now this couple lives in a whole other world. >> the heart of the victorian home -- >> why they're facing

349 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on