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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 29, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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out of time. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, benedict cumberbatch, isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" and music from flatbush zombies. and now, moving right along -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. very nice of you. hi, everybody. thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. wow, that's very nice. i'm glad you're with us. you know, we have a good one
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tonight. we have a superhero on the show, benedict cumberbatch is with us. [ cheers and applause ] stars in the new marvel movie >> jimmy: doctor strange" which if you don't know is the story of a former neurosurgeon that gets drawn into a strange world he knows nothing about. it's based on the life of dr. ben carson. to we still remember him? how many of you watched the debate last night? [ cheers and applause ] how many of you did not watch the debate last night? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: okay, good. we got some dummies in the audience. i like that. last night from las vegas, trump versus clinton three, and just like that we're one step closer to never having to watch cable news again. it was the third most watched debate in history. more than 71 million people watched/screamed at their tv. there were a few more catch phrases and guillermo got a new hat out of it. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i like that.
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are you selling those? >> no. they're free for the bad hombres. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: bad hombres was one of the more memorable sayings from trump. the problem is we pronounced it like this. >> we have bad aumbre here. >> jimmy: which means what, guillermo? >> hungry. >> jimmy: donald trump is in trouble, we have bad hungries here. what do they call hungry man dinners in spanish? >> aumbré hombre. >> jimmy: there were a number of zingers last night. i thought this was a good one too. >> it is up to us to make that true now and in the future and particularly for our children and our grandchildren. >> mr. trump? >> nobody has more respect for women than i do, nobody. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: that was good. donald trump respects women more than even they respect themselves. that's important to remember. trump needed a strong performance in the debate. his poll numbers have been dropping, and after last night, he is only hope is michael j. fox shows up with a time machine. he seems to know the end is near. he refused to say whether or not he would accept the outcome of the election. he said he'd look at it at the election and keep us in suspense. that's a controversial thing to say, so today people went nuts. he clarified today, and hopefully this will put that issue to bed. >> ladies and gentlemen, i want to make a major announcement today. i would like to promise and pledge to all of my voters and supporters and to all of the people of the united states that i will totally accept the
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results of this great and historic presidential election if i win. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i feel the same way. now he's just screwing with us, right? has to be a joke at this point. speaking of jokes, tonight this is interesting. clinton and trump are at a dinner together. the al smith dinner. he was the governor of new york '20s. the dinner is a charity event thrown annually by the diocese there, the catholic church. it's a tradition in the candidates to show up and tell jokes like a roast. in 2012 mitt romney and obama. they both joked around. 2008, obama and john mccain joked. tonight hillary and donald are one seat apart with a cardinal sitting between them like an unhappy couple hoping to get their marriage annulled.
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i'd love to know how that is going. donald trump is not a self-deprecating guy. a lot of people believe the reason he got into politics is because president obama roasted him at the white house correspondents' dinner. if the cardinal starts making fun of him, he might try to run for pope. [ laughter ] i want to say congratulations to the cleveland indians. who are headed to the world series. [ cheers and applause ] for the first time since 1997. they will play the winner of the dodgers/cubs series. this is a big one. the cubs haven't won the world series since like 1425 or something. [ laughter ] like 600 years. to capture the excitement in a tequila bottle, we sent our sports correspondent guillermo to dodger stadium to chat with the players in this exclusive on-field report. >> guillermo: who what are you going for halloween? >> i might be myself. >> guillermo: myself? why? >> it's a good costume. no one will expect it. >> guillermo: that's going to be very scary. when you play baseball and you
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don't want to get too excited, do you think about sex? >> no, because then i'll get really excited. >> guillermo: what's your favorite base? >> home base. yeah. i like home base. >> guillermo: one of my favorite bases with girls. >> i got a girlfriend. >> guillermo: oh, you got a girlfriend, oh. what's her favorite base? [ laughter ] >> guillermo: can you sign my ball? >> which one? >> guillermo: here. >> a basketball? why don't you have a baseball? >> guillermo: i couldn't find one. >> the ball looks like this, we'll be in good shape. >> a basketball? [ speaking spanish ] >> guillermo: i like how you hold the ball, my ball, i like how you hold my ball. >> a basketball, not your ball. i'm holding a basketball right now.
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>> guillermo: last thing, can i touch your beard and you can touch my moustache. bring good luck tonight. >> yeah, let's go. >> guillermo: now you can touch my mustache. >> oh! i think yours is a lot nicer than mine. you do a better jonathan me. >> guillermo: okay, when you pitch you've got to follow through, okay? okay? you left, so you step like this and you go, and then. all right? >> just like that? >> guillermo: just like that. show me? >> you did it. that's it. >> guillermo: show me how you do it. >> i just step. yeah. >> guillermo: you have work more on that. >> i have to work on it? >> guillermo: yeah. >> okay. >> guillermo: can i give you a hug for good luck? >> thank you. i got to get ready. >> guillermo: okay. >> i got to give 115. >> guillermo: okay. two more seconds. >> i have to gett ready. you want to come with me? >> guillermo: yeah, i'll come
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with you. now we've become friends. that's it from the locker room. this is guillermo. back to you, jimmy. >> jimmy: gracias, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] game six of the nlcs is saturday on fs 1. and the world series starts tuesday on fox. it is thursday night which as you know means it's time to bleep and blur the tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> good evening. let me be the last person to welcome you to tonight's debate and also the last person to [ bleep ] you. >> what we want to do is to replenish. >> such a nasty [ bleep ]. >> every morning i [ bleep ] once in the middle of the day and [ bleep ] at night. i like [ bleep ]. >> the dodgers playing is obvious. pitch kris bryant and anthony riz i don't carefully and [ bleep ] everyone else. >> in a word your one word of advice for donald? >> [ bleep ].
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>> is it sad that i always obey the law? i have all the documents. i have very clean [ bleep ]. >> called brrnts bernie sanders a. [ bleep ] . did you? >> well, you know -- you know. ♪ >> we broke the record? is it the biggest ever, grandpa? >> well, it's certainly the biggest [ bleep ] i've ever seen, and i've seen lots. >> donald trump is a man who sees a [ bleep ] and wants to [ bleep ] it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when when we come back from the break, when we return our old friend and trump superfan jake bird was in las vegas for the debate. we send jake to all the big political events. this is what we got from him at the republican national convention. >> give the guy some air. give the guy some air. he's hilarious. i love this guy. chicken parm. chicken parm.
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>> jimmy: when we come back, jake bird takes the trump train to vegas so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (laughs..) here it is. ♪ ♪ hey dad! ♪ wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. after dark, we come...
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. benedict cumberbatch, isla fisher, music from flatbush zombies is on the way. the third and final presidential debate was in las vegas yesterday. cameras were there, the lamestream media was there, also donald trump's number one supporter jake bird. jake made a pilgrimage to vegas to file this very special report. >> good morning from las vegas. it's debate day. i'm staying at the trump hotel and look at this. unlimited shrimp.
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it's warm. ♪ ♪ you take the high road and i'll take the low road ♪ ♪ and i'll be in the white house before you ♪ wrong. wrong. can't read that. i'm from chino, california. can i tell you something? when they go low, i get high. free billy bush! free billy bush! everybody is getting on donald trump's case about locker room talk. let me tell you something, i know about locker room talk. i remember it from high school. everyone would say things like, isn't it cool how coach gives us wine coolers? why is coach taking a shower with us again? when i get over and have big boy hair i'm going to shave it into
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a "t" like coach does. it's locker room talk. i would like to bet that sock full of nickels on donald trump to win the big debate. the debate can wait. i'm going to go for a ride on a sex bike. i've seen larger. >> who are you convincing to now come to you and see you as a presidential candidate? >> vote for hillary. she's so pretty and i love her so much. >> she's a 2 at best. >> oh! >> she's not my first choice, this i can tell you. >> i would certainly say the news coverage has been stilted. i really don't know about rigging -- >> i'll tell you, the entire thing is rigged. okay? guys like us can't vote, what, because of public urination charges?
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you try sitting through the whole "secret life of pets." it couldn't happen. not getting fooled again. i keep forgetting. >> i'll be voting for donald trump based on the issue explained in this speech. >> exactly. this guy's got it all going on up here. everyone is getting on donald trump about attacking ladies and grabbing their baby caves. listen to what he wrote. crippled america. listen. >> that's okay respect that's okay -- >> page 27. you're going to like this. >> i'll talk to you after. you didn't read this. >> first class. the blonde walked on. i grabbed her and gave her a good shellacking with my tongue. then came the redhead. she reached around me and started massaging my very sensitive nipples. >> is that clinton? who are you talking about, clinton? >> the stewardess walked and up said, warm nuts? yes, they are, i said. yes, they are. >> i'm sorry. donald trump is just the most dangerous person ever to run for the presidency of the united states. and that's my opinion. and i'm entitled to it.
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>> you absolutely are. this guy told me a great joke, why doesn't donald trump like siegfried and roy? because their pussies grab them. >> a big issue right now is economic, safety, and health care. >> exactly. the fell femmecrats want to talk about transgenders using bathrooms. hillary clinton deleted 33,000 she-mails. they're gone. >> the debate is starting. i know the hottest place to watch it. come on. hot slots. bartender? i would like one shot of grownup liquor every time they say the "v" word. >> grown-up liquor, okay. >> this guy's buying. >> if you become president this country is going to be in some mess.
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such a nasty woman. excuse me. my turn. it has been a disaster, and i didn't even apologize to my wife. >> well, let's go get paid. donald trump won. where are my nickels at? where are all my nickels at? >> what the [ bleep ] did you just say? >> just locker room talk. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> trump ship! trump ship! trump ship! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. tonight on the show we have music from flatbush zombies, isla fisher is here and we'll be right back with benedict cumberbatch. the one for an adventurer. the one she's been eyeing all year.
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>> jimmy: tonight from the new
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movie "keeping up with the joneses" isla fisher is here. then from brooklyn, new york their album is called "3001: a laced odyssey" - flatbush zombies from the crown royal outdoor stage. next week we'll be visited by felicity jones, mario batali, gordon ramsay, andrew garfield, miles teller, our pal science bob pflugfelder will amaze we'll have music from jimmy eat world, conor oberst, alessia cara and on monday night, president barack obama will be here on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sitting right there in that seat. our first guest tonight is an oscar-nominated actor and soon to be sorcerer supreme, he plays the master of mystical arts in marvel's "doctor strange." it opens in theaters and imax november 4th. please welcome benedict cumberbatch! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: very good to see you. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: how's it going? thank you for coming. i know the "doctor strange" premiere is just across the street. >> they have just finished building. it's exciting. >> jimmy: they closed down the whole block. >> i know. a lot of traffic to get through. it's very exciting. >> jimmy: we're used to it here. are you excited? >> it's the first time i get to see the film. >> jimmy: you've not seen it? >> no. there's double trepidation. there's always a butterfly in the stomach when you're seeing a premiere mere. but when you're seeing it for the first time. >> jimmy: i love that i've seen it and you haven't. isn't that something? [ laughter ] i'm not in the movie as far as i know. >> is it okay? >> jimmy: it's great. it's really good, yeah. >> that's all right. >> jimmy: and i love doctor strange. that's one of my favorite characters from the comics, i thought you might, for some reason. >> jimmy: there's something about when you're a little kid, you imagine having these powers. it's different from the other
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superheros. there's a supernatural element that i like. i think you did a great job. you'll be pleased, i think, when you see it. >> thank you. i'll come back and tell you. >> jimmy: are you comfortable with watching yourself on screen? >> never. >> jimmy: yeah. >> never. that's why i wanted to do it in a worldwide premiere. ease me into it. no, it's weird, isn't it. i get what most people think when they hear themselves back on an answering machine. like oh, really? >> jimmy: that's a good point. >> that's like watching your work as an actor times a thousand. it's just very peculiar. >> jimmy: that's a great way to put it. when people hear their voice played back they go, i don't sound like that. it's uncomfortable. >> i've never heard anyone say i sound great! >> jimmy: donald trump, i bet he thinks he sounds great. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: guaranteed. [ cheers and applause ] >> i was wondering how you were going to jam the trump in. there he is. >> jimmy: well, you know. >> i'd like to say it's the english examination board, i don't accept those results.
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i did not win, so i -- >> jimmy: what were your results? were they satisfactory? >> they were not the results i actually got. [ laughter ] something was definitely fixed. >> jimmy: when you're in the theater and watching the movie for the first time, i would imagine the people around you are going to be very aware of your presence. >> yeah. that's a point. i hadn't thought of that, yeah. there is that. >> jimmy: they can't text. >> that's the guy on the screen! >> jimmy: and if they do -- >> i'll growl at them if they text. >> jimmy: you absolutely should. >> i'll get english and middle class and tut loudly in the quiet bits. >> jimmy: do you feel compelled to react and clap? >> oversupport my own place? yeah. no. now you're going to make me feel like i'm really self-conscious. i'm going to sit there with a blank face. >> jimmy: if you're not self-conscious there -- >> a blank face. >> jimmy: where did you shoot the movie? a number of locations? >> we did. >> jimmy: hong kong is one of the locations? >> hong kong, london. we rebuilt what we used of hong
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kong because it was complex. complex scene in the film. we couldn't have shot it like people see it in the movie. we filmed in london, and in long cross. which was the studio. we killed in nepal and kathmandu, which was amazing. >> jimmy: had you been there before? >> i had been, yeah. very briefly. when i was a student after i got the "a" level results that don't count, i went on a trip to teach english as a foreign language to tibetan mudist monks in india. but we took a week out the other volunteers and i. to go into nepal. we had a fantastic time. we were only in kathmandu a day and a night to plan the trips. one of the plans didn't involve having a map -- well, we had a map but not a guide for a walk into the himalayas. >> jimmy: wow. >> there were four of us. mountain sickness struck, and then three of us and then two of us? >> jimmy: they died? [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> that's the kind of ribbing i like to give. talk casually about two friends
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who passed away on a trip. that's how i like to promote a film. casual tunny funny story about the death of dear friends. >> jimmy: phillip and bob, we'll miss them. >> great air time on a talk show. no, seriously, they were fine, i think. and it was scary, but they lived to tell the tale. they went back down the mountain. the hill, but it felt like a mountain towels. it was high enough to get mountain sickness. put it that way. we carried on ill advisedly without a guide. maps were very poor in those days, pre-gps. there was very little way of getting it right when you get it wrong. i started to get the same mountain sickness, and you have to go fast down and we literally reached one of the metaphor forks in the road. we didn't know which would go where. it was a heavy mist. we went down the path and went down which is good in a way, but it just hit a dead end of bamboo and then rocks and cliff and we were lost for a day and a half and a night. it was quite scary. >> jimmy: who found you?
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>> we found our own way back to this plateau outside of walking through -- god, we went through a river, we went through a bit of jungle at the lower part of the mountain, then broke onto this sort of pasture land that was something out of "the sound of music." julie andrews didn't find us. [ laughter ] some kindly shepherd did, and we did the universal sign for hunger. we'd literally been kind of -- >> jimmy: what is the universal sign for that? >> i think it's something like this. it's like baby sign language. aah! >> jimmy: and they fed you? >> we had a delightful meal of greens and boiled eggs. nothing to do with cooking, but i did get amoebic dysentery. >> jimmy: when we're in college, we go to daytona beach and lift up our shirts. it's an entirely different experience. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we'll see a clip from the new movie "doctor strange."
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benedict cumberbatch is here. be right back! [ cheers and applause ] we catch flo, the progressive girl, at the supermarket buying cheese. scandal alert! flo likes dairy?! woman: busted! [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught her riding shotgun with a mystery man. oh, yeah! [ indistinct shouting ] is this your chauffeur? what?! no, i was just showing him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. you just plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. does she have insurance for being boring? [ light laughter ]
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♪ >> jimmy: benedict cumberbatch! "doctor strange" opens in theaters and imax november 4th. when you put on the doctor strange, do you call it a costume? is it appropriate to say costume this >> i should think so. yeah, definitely a costume. >> jimmy: the first time what happened when you put it on? for the first time? >> the first time was with -- in a costume fitting, and we'd done a lot of the script, and i'm thrilled with how the character worked out, and his place in the marvel cinematic universe and all the story beats. i put the idea i was playing a superhero on the back burner, and in the fitting i looked in the mirror, and i started to smile like a giddy child, and the costume designer was like going yep, seen that look before. you're having a superhero moment, aren't you? [ laughter ] it's just wonderful.
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>> jimmy: did alex design other costumes? >> quite a few, yes. she worked on thor and i forgot all her credits, but yes, she's done quite a few of the films. that suited me. it meant literally that she was used to every kind of complaint about harnesses ripping delicate parts of your body to pieces. >> jimmy: because you're flying? >> yeah, that clip, that was fun. so mad's kicking he and me flying backwards. mads mickelson. >> jimmy: it ruins it a little when you call the bad guy matt. >> mads. >> jimmy: mads? >> his name is mad with an "s." >> jimmy: sorry. now it's better. >> yeah. mads. >> jimmy: did you ever go anywhere publicly in the costume? >> well, yeah, i did. it was slightly forced by circumstance. i'm not one for halloween -- it's my day job to get dressed
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up in funny costumes, but i -- we were filming on fifth avenue in new york which was another pinch yourself moment. right in the shadow of the empire state building. some of the great comics originated there, and in this incredible costume, this red cloak and blue costume, the red and blue being significant. i thought this is another superhero moment. and i thought, wow. there are a lot of crews getting in the way of the shot. and i realized they were paparazzi. a swarm of about 20 of them. there was nowhere to escape. we're just here. even between shots, there's only so much you can do without knowing it's going to be turned into a meme or a gif. so i thought that's going to annoy people. let's get a coffee. i was with my wife and a couple friends. there was a great cafe around the corner. we'll go there. they can be hey, it's great to have you back! she meant she worked there on a computer. i walked in and went -- expecting a welcome. these new yorkers, bless them.
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new yorkers do. the caffeinated jaws just kind of went like that, only about five minutes, then back to yothr conversations. i was news for a millisecond in this cafe, and i sat down and had an arnold palmer. >> jimmy: in this neighborhood people would probably give you a dollar for a photograph. [ laughter ] there are a lot of superheroes here, you could blend. >> i've seen it, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i don't want to say i had a negative experience with dr. strange. i did have a negative -- >> wait, you've met doctor strange? >> jimmy: yes, yes, i hired doctor strange to help me with something. i think we have the video. >> i haven't seen this. what's this? >> jimmy: got to be kidding me. where is this guy? >> hi, i'm doctor steven strange, master of the mystic arts. sorry i'm late but the traffic on the as central plane was unbelievable. >> jimmy: it's 3:30.
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you were supposed to be here at 3:00. i'm not paying for the last half hour. >> nice to meet you too. dispense with the small talk. show me the demons. >> jimmy: all right. here they are. [ screaming ] >> i don't understand. are they possessed? >> jimmy: basically. they ate, like, 50 cupcakes. [ screaming ] >> all right. i'll vanquish them. >> jimmy: no. what is it -- no. no vanquishing. just do tricks. pull a rabbit out of somewhere. do tricks. >> a rabbit? i think there's a misunderstanding. i don't do tricks. >> jimmy: you don't do tricks? >> no. >> jimmy: this clearly says the mightiest magician in the cosmos. >> everyone exaggerates their linkedin profile, don't they? i mean, look at yours. jimmy kimmel, america's favorite late night host. >> jimmy: that's true, is it not true? >> is it? >> jimmy: that's a cute necklace.
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is that etsy? >> do not touch the eye of agamoto! idiot. >> jimmy: sorry. hey, i don't think this is working out. i think i'm going to hire a spongebob or something. thanks for coming. >> how much? >> jimmy: $150. >> wait. i have an idea. >> you suck! >> next? >> jimmy: happy birthday to you -- where's marcus? >> marcus? oh, he went home. >> oh, crap. >> he disappeared him! >> do you want to go home with marcus? >> no. >> be quiet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you see?
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benedict cumberbatch in "doctor strange." opens in theaters and imax november 4th. be right back with isla fisher! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm not a customer, but i'm calling about that credit scorecard. give it.
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>> jimmy: you know our next guest from "the great gatsby", "wedding crashers" and other films based on great works of literature. her new comedy is called "keeping up with the joneses." please say hello to isla fisher. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ good to see you. so, isla, you look great. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: last night gal gadot was here, your costar in this film. you, gal, jon hamm, zach galifianakis. she's gorgeous. >> miss israel. beautiful.
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>> jimmy: she's taller than i am, how tall is she? >> 7'4". >> jimmy: she could be playing professional basketball. >> she's doing it right now. >> jimmy: she was very, very excited about her makeout scene with you. i mean very excited. >> well, well, well, my husband would like to hear that. yes, it was not the easiest makeout session. >> jimmy: it wasn't? she seemed to have no problem with it. >> well, i needed a stepladder. >> jimmy: right. >> and she's a bit like a victoria secret model and i'm like a hobbit from "lord of the rings." i crawled up my ladder to paradise and smooched. >> jimmy: were you really on a ladder? >> no. i was on a box. a little box. >> jimmy: sasha, your husband, is tall. >> that's right. so you think i should be used to -- >> jimmy: it seems like you should be used to kissing up. >> yeah. 15 years, kissing different places. >> jimmy: i see. >> but no, it was actually really refreshing to kiss gal.
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i also have makeout scenes with zach galifianakis. he's my husband in the movie. he was less enthusiastic. >> jimmy: he was? wait a minute, why? really? that's interesting. >> i don't know. i've had to kiss people in movies before, and i've never had a problem, but he was incredibly reluctant. >> jimmy: maybe zach hasn't really had any love scenes in movies. now that i think about it he probably hasn't, really. maybe this was -- i don't know. >> i don't know, but anyway, it was like when you take a kid to get a shot at the doctor and it's like, come on it will just an second, it will be over in a minute! i was like, come on zach, we can do this, one take and we'll knock it out! and i remember right before i had to kiss him, he looks at me seriously and says, my penis has retreated into my lower intestine. [ laughter ] i said, zach, you can't say that to an actress before the love scene. and by the way -- even if you're not an actor, there's no woman on the planet that wants to hear someone's penis has retreated into their lower intestine. and then i was like,
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okay, we can do it. just one more take. only one more take. take your shirt off. take it off and relax. pretend we're not doing this. just do it. and he's standing right there. he has his shirt off. we're about to kiss and he says, how's sasha? i'm like, again! trying to make this movie. >> jimmy: how is sasha? did you ever answer that question? what's he up to? what's going on with him? >> sasha just had a big birthday. >> jimmy: how old is he? >> 45. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, that's a pretty big birthday. >> and i felt so much pressure to do something amazing because i had a big birthday recently. >> jimmy: more amazing than making out with gal gadot? >> that should have been -- where were you when i was planning the birthday? >> jimmy: i thought that was my birthday present. [ laughter ] >> no, but he did the most amazing thing for my birthday. >> jimmy: what did he company? >> so i had a big birthday recently, 25. [ laughter ] and he -- okay. i have to set the scene. upstairs in my bathroom, putting
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on mascara for my party. i have these amazing katy perry eyelashes. i don't know if you have them, but they make your lashes gorgeous. i'm putting them on and he comes in and he's like, oh, you like katy perry. i'm like, you know that, i love katy perry. i keep putting the lashes on. i don't think about it again. i'm on the dance floor and stuffing case in my mouth and chatting to moms from my school, and i see this diamond microphone. of course, i'm a little drunk. i'm australian. okay, i was very drunk. i see this sparkling microphone and this beautiful doe face of katy perry in front of me, and she serenades and sings me i can't remember how many songs. it was so amazing because i love her so much. she sang these songs and i had to pretend, because she was staring at me, that i didn't know the lyrics. >> jimmy: your birthday entertainment was katy perry and he arranged it? >> yeah. sasha arranged that for me. >> jimmy: what did you get him? >> uh-oh. okay. i messed up bad.
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>> jimmy: it was bad? >> it is. i just got under so much pressure and i was stressed and wanted to repay something magical, something amazing what can you buy sasha? he can buy himself anything. we can do what he wants. two kittens. >> jimmy: two kittens? >> he's a little bit allergic, but i forgot. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? you got him kittens? >> i did. you should have seen his face. i walked into the room. i was so excited. i forgot he was allergic, and i'm holding the box. i'm excited. i remembered the birthday, and i hand it over and he opens the box and he's like oh, babe, babe. and he just shut his eyes. and i felt so dumb. >> jimmy: what happened? do you still have them? >> we've got the kittens still. >> jimmy: you do? >> he's sneezing a lot. i feel really -- i couldn't get him katy perry. >> jimmy: well, no. >> she wouldn't do it twice. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. two kittens? not one kitten?
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>> i shove gotten gal gadot in a box. >> jimmy: a whole box full of gal, yeah. it's very good to see you. congratulations on the movie. sorry about the kittens. put them up for adoption. isla fisher, everybody! "keeping up with the joneses" opens in theaters tomorrow. we'll be back with flatbush zombies! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series brought to you by new crown royal vanilla wh whiskey. vanilla so good.
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lift up your head and keep moving or let the paranoia haunt you? everybody lack confidence, everybody lack confidence i keep my fee-fi-fo-fum i keep my heart undone the strong in me, i still smile.
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whisky. vanilla so good. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank benedict cumberbatch, isla fisher and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but this is their call bum called "3001, a laced odyssey." here with the song "tradeoff" with some help from rhythm roots all-stars, flatbush zombies! ♪ ♪
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♪ hey hey hey hey hey hey hey ♪ it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ♪ ♪ i smoked so much this year we couldn't even take a day off ♪ ♪ i plan to take a trip want the money how it's spent i just re-up ♪ ♪ plus i just paid my phone and the rent ♪ ♪ hey it's lit call my partners up we going up you slowing up i never judge what ♪ ♪ you indulge in truth i never touched this stuff ♪ ♪ one puff of that fluffy stuff it hit me like a sucker punch side effects include ♪ ♪ mass paranoia plus the cotton mouth down another bottle with my people ♪ ♪ before this was a movie we pictured us living bitter and i forgive 'em - whatever whatever ♪ ♪ telling me different nothing is given without sacrificing something as close to people ♪ ♪ ya chill with pray for the
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children the government is spiking penicillin ♪ ♪ and lord willin' we all live to be 20 million outcome infinite dawg where is the ceiling? ♪ ♪ cause five years ago we came to be without disappearing ♪ ♪ it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ♪ ♪ i smoked so much this year we couldn't even take a day off ♪ ♪ i plan to take a trip want the money how it's spent i just re-up ♪ ♪ plus i just paid my phone and the rent ♪ ♪ it's that work hard play hard i just got a load off smoke so much this year ♪ ♪ we couldn't even take a day off twenty something years i never had a had a day ♪ ♪ job ♪ never ask for truth it's what expected it's a trade-off ♪ ♪ real playa lit getting money bound to flip nonchalant like i am it man i told you how it gets ♪ ♪ it's that mixtape rap blunt rap up on the album in a audi ♪ ♪ black tote straps looking for yack so i could go top speed with the blinkers on ♪ ♪ screaming "what you want" martin king is gone who am i who am i ♪ ♪ handsome guy might style on
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you brothas with a patch on my eye ♪ ♪ please turn up the headphones i speak the value ♪ ♪ i preach for freaks we gon win the outcome toke toke and choke ♪ ♪ we just need your vote float so this the future ain't what ya used to ♪ ♪ four years ago i was poorer than you are trapping in the lobby and the back of a u-haul ♪ ♪ it's that work hard play hard i just got a load off smoke so much this year ♪ ♪ we couldn't even take a day off twenty something years i never had a had a day ♪ ♪ job ♪ never ask for truth it's what expected it's a trade-off ♪ ♪ it's that work hard play hard make you quit that day job ♪ ♪ i smoked so much this year we couldn't even take a day off ♪ ♪ i plan to take a trip want the money how it's spent i just re-up ♪ ♪ plus i just paid my phone and the rent ♪ ♪ this that work hard play hard rest in peace to trayvon ♪ ♪ did so much different drugs this year i'm feeling so amazing ♪ ♪ lsd them potent doses smoke an then i take off two freaks one meech that's an even trade-off ♪ ♪ rosemary's baby the hand that
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rocked my cradle to the grave i had six exorcisms this ♪ ♪ year alone and i feel the same i'm high and sleep deprived having nightmares ♪ ♪ while i'm still awake 40 ounce sipper until my liver give away i think i lost my mind and ♪ ♪ i'm willing to trade my soul if you can find it an even exchange i'm young and deranged ♪ ♪ all these drugs in my body ♪ rawer than the kilo under my granddaddy pillow ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ work hard play hard ♪ work hard play hard ♪ work hard play hard ♪ work hard play hard
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, miracle survivors. a jetliner carrying a soccer team to a championship series tragically slams into a mountainous area. the fuselage destroyed. 71 dead, but six people somehow survived. what we know tonight about the safest part of the plane that could save your life. plus the husband speaks out. new details about the horrific trauma endured by this california mom reportedly abducted. her captors potentially using psychological torture techniques and even branding her with a message. and taylor tv. ♪ our wildest

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