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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 5, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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thomas. >> have a great ing, take care. >> goodnight. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- will smith. and barbeque master adam perry lang. plus snoop dogg. and now, get psyched -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, nice to see you. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming and for watching. very nice.
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i needed that because we are back to work from a long thanksgiving break. is it safe to still be eating turkey 11 days after thanksgiving? [ laughter ] a lot of things happened to me over the last two weeks. i got a tummy tuck, they still give those. i had my eyes done. and i think they look great, right? i also went todrybar, i got an updo, i had my whole body done. i read online in february i'll be hosting the oscars. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. thanks for the music. you know, the producers and the academy went through a long list of names and they decided that since i'm already right across the street from where they do the show, i was the closest person to host. [ laughter ] so i guess i have to get a tux now? or maybe i'll wear jean shorts, has anyone done that? we have to shake thins up a little. i'm going to need you to help me
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with this. >> guillermo: sure, jimmy. >> jimmy: marijuana will be legal for recreation at use in february, i wonder -- maybe you can pass some of that out on the red carpet. >> guillermo: that would be great! >> jimmy: before the show. then we just see what happens. my goal is to somehow get arrested during the hosting of the show. but i will say, i got a very nice call of congratulations this morning from the president of taiwan. [ laughter ] just to be clear, she called me, not the other way around. and also another thing i wanted to mention, my wife is hosting a baby inside her body. [ cheers and applause ] so that's exciting. we got the ultrasound. we went and got the ultrasound, which is weird because you're spying on the baby. already you're spying on the baby. we asked the technician not to tell us whether we're having a boy or a girl. our plan is to let the child decide for itself. [ laughter ] we want it to be a surprise. but i have been trying to think of names that will work for either a boy or a girl.
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so far i've come up with two. number one, dyson after the vacuum. [ laughter ] or gelatin with a "j." no? [ laughter ] that's exactly what my wife said. all right. so there's a lot of exciting stuff going on. congratulations to me. i'm hosting the oscars, and i had sex. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the greatest. two thins as a teenage boy i never thought would be possible. congratulations are also in order for dr. ben carson. do you remember him? president-elect donald trump picked him to run the department of housing and urban development. which is going to be quite a surprise when he finally wakes up. [ laughter ] ben carson in case you don't know is a former neurosurgeon with no experience in housing or urban development. this is the first time the phrase "well, it's not brain surgery" is actually a bad thing. [ laughter ] why would he get this job?
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he's a medical doctor. i feel like donald trump just heard the word "urban" and nominated the first black friend he had. [ laughter ] anyway, i'll say one thing on ben carson's behalf. our new head of the department of housing gets all our houses looking like this, i think we're going to be in very good shape. [ laughter ] that's dr. ben with klingon jesus that hangs in his home. president-elect trump right now is embarking on what he calls his thank you tour. it's a series of big public rallies in some of the states he won. tomorrow he's headed to north carolina, des moines, and grand rapids. he kicked the tour off in cincinnati where we were able to capture his image and slow it down significantly for a long overdue edition of "drunk donald trump." [ tape playing slowly ] >> i am asking you to -- is that right?
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i am asking -- i am -- i love this. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he doesn't drink, though. it's not a drinker. over the weekend donald trump took time out of his busy schedule to attack alec baldwin's impersonation on him on "saturday night live," which is unprecedented. and he also went to a villains and heroes theme costume party thrown by one of his major donors on long island and somebody got a picture of that, donald trump with his former campaign manager kellyanne conway. who by the way could just as easily be out in front of our building posing for pictures with tourists. in that costume. trump told reporters he was dressed as himself. and he was. there's no doubt about that. but you know, trump's been busy assembling his cabinet. his nominees are all pretty out there. as of today the least-controversial person in his cabinet is a guy named mad
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dog. these cabinet positions are important. speculation about who will fill them is all over cable news. i wonder how closely regular people are paying attention. today we went on the street and asked pedestrians, people walking by our theater about a bunch of new trump cabinet appointees. instead of real people we used the names of comic book villains. and that went exactly like this in tonight's appointment television edition of "lie witness news." >> what do you think about trump appointing dr. otto octavius as head of the cdc? >> i do not agree with him. >> do you think he'll have all eight of his hands in the pockets of pharmaceutical companies? >> yes, i do. >> how come? >> i believe that trump would allow him to. he would give him that authority. >> what do you think about trump appointing edward migma for the department of education? >> actually, i think that's a great idea for election, yeah. >> trump is trying to diversify the gender makeup of his
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cabinet. do you think his appointment of harley quinn is a good choice given she has volatile mental health issues? >> no. >> is it a good choice to have her as secretary of health and human services? >> no, no. if she's got her own issues i don't know that she'll make good decisions. >> harvey denn has experience as a district attorney but he's been accused of flip-flopping on key issues. do you trust him or do you think he's too two-faced to be attorney general? >> too two-faced to be attorney general. >> how come? >> we need somebody straitlaced. >> like who? >> janet reno. >> didn't she die? >> yes, ma'am. >> people are saying that edward bigma riddles too much for the school system. do you agree with that? >> i do but i feel like his back -- he does have good intentions. >> so general zod is known for being brash and outspoken. do you think isis will kneel before him the way he's demanded they do? >> no. i don't think -- i think they're
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more powerful than him. >> who's more evil, isis or general zod? >> i feel like isis -- there's more of them, i feel they're more powerful. >> in a war between multiple general zods and isis, who would win? >> i'm going to say general zod, yeah. >> do you think trump was smart to big lex luther as attorney general? >> i think it was smart for trump. i don't think it's a smartrt mo for america, no. >> so lex luther's appointment is like kryptonite nfor america? >> yes. >> you wouldn't lie about that? >> no, i would not. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back from the break we have a special holiday message from snoop dogg, and we'll journey to the year 2045 for a special visit with future me so stick around, it will be very special. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hello there, welcome back to the show. will smith and chef adam perry lang are backstage awaiting their appearance. first this is a video from montreal, it gets snowy in montreal. remember the time we went to montreal together, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah! >> jimmy: a very romantic trip. they have these -- it was summer but they have these parking meters that are very tall. guillermo had to jump up to slam dunk the quarrels in. they make them tall because the snow gets high. then when the snow is high, god forbid you let anybody park without paying for it. so this happened in montreal this morning. special thanks to the guy who had the good sense to pull his camera out.
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>> oh! and the -- oh! >> well, at least now he's perfectly positioned. >> oh, no, the [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. holy [ bleep ]. get out, get out, get out. oh! >> jimmy: that is like curling with cars. [ laughter ] that should be a winter olympic event. you know, we are smack in the middle of the holiday shopping season. this year i was very smart, i got everybody on my list an i'm with her tote bag. very reasonable now. we have so many traditions around the holidays. oftentimes we don't know where they come from. we forget or never both tore find out. tonight i invite mid dear friend snoop dogg to sit in to play a fun guessing game for all ages. feel free to play along at home. a special holiday themed
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installment of "how's it mizzade?" >> up what, this is snoop dogg watching how it's made. okay. let's see what he making. ugh! ugh! like "the blob," remember that movie "the blob"? now he taking some hot bumblebee pee, mix with some flour. what is that? that's that -- what homies be smoking? what that's called he making? like throw-up. he making a frisbee. always wanted to see how a frisbee was made. hold on. i can't figure this part out. this something. this something that's not edible. i don't like it. nobody's going to buy these. okay, they got to put it through this last machine right here. oh! candy canes. i'm never eating a candy cane again because that was bull [ bleep ] right there. [ bleep ] that. that was a candy cane.
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merry christmas and ho ho ho! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: three ho's from snoop is a big deal, thank you snoop. one of the great things, back to this oscar thing, about hosting, is the endorsement deals. not just now. for many years to come i'll be cashing in on this. when i get older my plan is to endorse all kinds of crap. [ laughter ] like tom selleck for the reverse mortgage. have you seen that? standing in front of a window, looking out over the city, then turning and telling you that reverse mortgages aren't too good to be true, they won't take your home, they're very powerful commercials. in the future i will be making very powerful commercials too. like this. >> the following is a paid advertisement for elbow magic. >> has this ever happened to you? ow. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. i'm 73 years old. but i have the elbow flexibility of a 40-year-old. look.
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>> you don't need a prescription, all you need is money. >> avail-elbow at walgreen recess. >> jimmy: still to come, barbecue master adam perry line is here. and we'll be right back with will smith! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by slim jim. bust out of boring with the original meat stick. snap into a slim jim today. here's your cue. go go go! ♪ [ bark ] cut! cut, cut, cut, cut... good job everybody, but i feel like we're missing something... something special. what about a star? [ door knocking ] somebody looking for a star? [ laughs ] [ gasps ] dude! this was just sitting out front! ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, one of the great chefs of the united states, he is here with a holiday recipe, adam perry lang is here. adam will be cooking something called a steamship round, which, from what i understand, is a big, round piece of beef. it's like a beef pancake. so we'll eat that tonight. tomorrow night, ryan seacrest and zoey deutch will join us, we'll have music from james vincent mcmorrow, and later this week ryan gosling, t.j. miller, jennifer aniston, tom ford, the cast of "rogue one" will be here, we'll have music from pentatonix and a tribe called quest. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest has saved the world more times than super and iron man combined.
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he has a new movie, opening december 16th called "collateral beauty." please welcome will smith! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you just point at people and they go crazy. >> point at people. it's kind of cool, right? >> jimmy: it really is a super power in a way. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: does that work in public? are you able to just point at people? >> yeah, just point at people, man, aaaah! very cool, very cool. >> jimmy: you did that to me once by the way. i think i told you the story one time, lakers game. he pointed at me across the way. this was many years ago. i just kept looking behind me to see who he was pointing at. >> you didn't know i was pointing at you. >> jimmy: you should have screamed. >> i was pointing a the you. you weren't like big and famous then. >> jimmy: no. >> you didn't know i knew you. >> jimmy: littledy know you were watching me. what's going on with that moustache? is that on purpose? [ laughter ] >> yeah, you know, let's go to the elephant in the room. >> jimmy: it's more of a caterpillar than an elephant. [ laughter ] >> it's for a movie! it's really bad. it's like the 1970s porno like -- >> jimmy: are you doing a 1970s porn porno? >> no, no, no. i'm playing a cop, roo it?
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it's like the lapd cop moustache. but it's bad, man. you've got to wear it in the street. everybody thinks -- i'm like the colt .45 billy dee, you know. it works every time. >> jimmy: l.a. cops, a lot of them do have moustaches. >> yeah, it's a regulation. now i got to walk around -- >> jimmy: why is that i wonder? >> i don't know, man. embarrass you. >> jimmy: there are female lapd officers with the same moustache. >> same moustache, yeah, you have to. >> jimmy: does your wife like it? >> no, no, no. she's like, call i'll catch you next movie. good night, honey. it's all bad, it's all bad. >> jimmy: how does that work, an actor of your stature, does the director tell you what hadn'ts on your face? >> yeah, you know, you go in and -- because i'm a tool. i'm a tool, jimmy. >> jimmy: why do you say that? don't say that. [ laughter ] >> i'm a tool for the directors. >> jimmy: i see, okay, direct me, okay. >> i present myself in my finest
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form. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> for the artist to mold me. >> jimmy: wow. >> i am but a humble lump of clay, moustache and all. >> jimmy: is that really true? >> you go in, the director has ideas. you want the director to be able to like -- to see their vision. will smith, i ain't doing [ bleep ]. you know. you don't want to be that guy. >> jimmy: but a lot of guys are that guy. >> yeah, you know. i've worked with some people who show and up kind of just tell the director they're not doing that. >> jimmy: right, yeah. does the director give in? or does the director beg? thre threaten? what? >> at a certain amount of u.s. domestic box office, the director doesn't get a vote anymore. >> jimmy: i see. what if the director said, listen, i'd love you to have that hightop fade that you used to have. >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'd probably be like, naw. >> jimmy: yeah.
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moustache you can deal with. >> yeah. but it's better -- like it's david err. he was the director of "suicide squad." >> jimmy: right, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> so he has a thing with hair. jay hernandes who played diablo, david err goes in your trailer, he's trying to come up with stuff, he shaved jay hernandes' eyebrows off. >> jimmy: what, while he was sleeping? >> no. >> jimmy: really? >> david is that type of guy. he's a real artist. you know are. hee just shaved -- i guess i'm going to take the moustache over having to walk around five months with no eyebrows. >> no kidding. there's nothing more disturbing than that. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: maybe he did it just to set you up for the moustache in the next movie. like all right, jay's losing his eyebrows, you're going to be perfectly fine with this. do you enjoy being will smith? is it a burden? i mean, do you ever disguise yourself and go out so that
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you're not noticed or whatever? >> i want people to recognize me. >> jimmy: you do want that. [ cheers and applause ] i think that's a healthy way to go about it. >> no, you know what i've met a lot of people where fame can be a burden. and i just love it, man. >> jimmy: you do. >> i really do. you know, you just go -- pointing at people? [ cheers and applause ] no, i had a thing the other day. the perfect example. it was probably about three weeks ago. and i was driving. and i realized i was on e! . i don't be paying attention. i was on e! like, oh, no. i was about 30 minutes from my house. so i pulled into the gas station and i didn't have my wallet. and i was like, oh, tragedy. right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm looking, i'm looking. well, can i call jada? then she got to drive 30 minutes to come. i looked over on the other side and i saw a dude, he was like 36. i was like, that dude's a "fresh
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prince" fan. you know? you can just spot them. you can spot them, right? you can spot them. and i'm like, you know -- i kind of roll the window down. i was like -- [ laughter ] you know? after a couple of minutes he was like, will? i was like, yeah, hey, what's up, man, what's up? hey, man, can i get a picture? i said, yeah, man, i need about $10. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: seems reasonable. >> he was like, really? and he was like really excited. we took the selfie, he lent me the $10. i said, give me your number, i'll send it back. he's like, dude, no way, no way, that's yours. i was like -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's funny. you know, i think one of the fun things about being you, and i'm just assuming here, is that you're part owner of the philadelphia 76ers.
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>> yes. >> jimmy: your hometown basketball team. [ cheers and applause ] >> listen, there is nothing like in all of entertainment than to walk into the building when it's announced that you're a part owner of your hometown basketball team. >> jimmy: i can't even imagine. >> that is ridiculous. i mean, if the team doesn't win, it sucks later. >> jimmy: right, right. [ laughter ] >> at first it's like, fantastic, like yeah, will! >> jimmy: do people get upset -- the team isn't doing particularly well this year. do the people talk to you about it? >> yeah, i love in l.a. though, so it's cool. >> jimmy: you're all right. >> yeah, you know. i go home when we winning. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you ever gather the team, give advice -- >> yeah, it was -- you know, to start the season, you know, i went and sat down with the team. and the thing that's crazy, like --
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i'm 48. like the oldest dude was half my age. >> jimmy: it's crazy, isn't it? >> it's really crazy. it's like you think they got big giant man bodies. right? but they're really -- they're kids, you know? it's like -- >> jimmy: i think it's weirdest when an athlete that you admire or whatever is younger than you, not only is he an athlete, he goes into the hall of fame. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's long retired. it's really a disturbing thing. >> i was sitting there with those guys. and i realized that nine of them weren't born when "the fresh prince" came on. >> jimmy: wow. >> they weren't born, man. >> jimmy: so they know you in a totally different way. >> yes, a totally different -- i'm just like the old dude from "the suicide squad." >> jimmy: do you really give them advice? is there anything you feel like you can tell them? certainly -- >> it's like what you try to do, i mean, anybody who's in that position has already followed
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their dream. they've already worked hard. they know about discipline. you know, for me the big thing that i was trying to hit on is how to not mess it up, right? as hard as it is to get it, you can mess it up in one drunk night, right? your cousin can ruin the whole thing for you. [ laughter ] one night in a club. you know? >> jimmy: your cousin. >> yeah, man, i -- i -- i ain't touched that girl! i ain't touched that girl! you know? >> jimmy: social media was not a big thing, when you were that age, early 20s -- >> no, it was like -- this year marked 30 years in the business. >> jimmy: wow. >> put out our first record 30 years ago. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's crazy. how happy they didn't have instagram? >> i'm very happy they didn't have instagram. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, for me, i look at stuff. you know, somebody like justin bieber, who you know, got it so bad for a while. i'm like, he ain't doing nothing.
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>> jimmy: really. >> he should have been in cleveland with me and jeff that night! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: will submit. the movie is "collateral beauty." we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ get unlimited everything, and we'll give you $800. that's right! $800 to spend anywhere you want. plus, all season long, get awesome deals on smartphones, tablets, and accessories. hurry in to t-mobile and get your holidays on us. ♪ ♪
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not right now. you said i was gonna be the hype man. no, we said we wouldn't do it. i'm sorry, we were talking about savings. i liked his way. cha-ching! talking about getting that moneeeey! talking about getting that moneeeey! savings worth the hype. now that's progressive. that you're ready to makeou've gotnot-so-hiddenent if you have a thing but your friends don't know about your thing then take matters into your own hands by taking that phone in your hand and opening facebook. press this. and go live. now introduce yourself, tell them about the thing alright hit em with that talent [man belting in his house] you're doing great, and even if you're not your friends will probably still think you're awesome is that coffee? yea, it's nespresso. i want in. ♪
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you're ready. ♪ get ready to experience a cup above. is that coffee? nespresso. what else? (laughs..) here it is. ♪ ♪ hey dad! ♪ wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. ♪ get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a 2016 lincoln mkx with zero down and complementary first month's payment. ♪ here's your cue. go go go! [ bark ] cut! cut, cut, cut, cut... good job everybody, but i feel like we're missing something...
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something special. what about a star? [ door knocking ] somebody looking for a star? [ laughs ] [ gasps ] dude! this was just sitting out front! ♪
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life is about people. love. time. death. now these three abstractions connect every single human being on earth. everything that we covet. everything that we fear not having. everything that we ultimately end up buying is because at the end of the day, we long for love. we wish we had more time. we fear death. love. time. death. >> jimmy: that is will smith. "collateral beauty" opens in theatres december 16th. ltd. >> yeah, love, time, death.
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you saw my goatee? that's what it's supposed to look like, that's the look. this is not it. >> jimmy: it balances it out. it's not a bad look on you. it's okay, i don't know what jada's so worried about, i'd kiss you on the mouth right now. >> really. [ cheers and applause ] no, no, listen, he just proved my point. it's a porno moustache. [ laughter ] he's never wanted to do that to a man before. >> jimmy: this is a first time. >> it's his first time, see? that's what happens. that's what happens. >> jimmy: it gives me all sorts of feelings. i don't want to ruin the movie, but talking about it, it is -- there are a lot of twists and turns. >> yeah, it's really cool, man. >> jimmy: love, time, death are major factors. i think it's ac to say thancht yeah, so it's a movie about a guy that's the opening scene, he's a head of an ad agency. and love, time and death, got the world on a string. and he suffers a loss. and pretty much just loses everything.
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and the ideas of love, time and death, he gets furious and he writes these letters to love, time and death. he's so upset about his loss. he writes one to love, one to time, one to dead. he's losing his mind a little bit. he takes them and he mails them. then he gets responses from love, time and death. and it's like a beautiful christmas movie. >> jimmy: it made me think of the "christmas carol." >> or "it's a wonderful life." those kind. yeah, he gets responded to with love, time and death. and keira knightley plays love. >> jimmy: some cast you have. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: helen mirren plays death. who's the kid who plays time? >> jacob latimore. he plays time. >> jimmy: also kate winslet. >> kate winslet, ed norton, absolutely, yeah. great cast. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really an unbelievable cast. is this the kind of movie -- it is christmas but i don't really -- i feel like i said something i shouldn't have said. >> no, no, there's so many --
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there's like beautiful twists and turns. so it's hard to talk about, you know. i don't want to spoil it. but it is -- it's a wonderful christmas movie that you go and it just captures that feeling. >> jimmy: it's heart-wrenching. >> heart-wrenching and beautiful at the end. i just -- i loved it. it is such wonderful ideas. then helen mirren as death is genius. >> jimmy: she is good. >> she is just genius. she chose -- i guess it's not a spoiler. she chose blue as the color of death. and you know, it's just -- >> jimmy: don't say anything else. >> just go see it! i don't want to ruin it for you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i do want to ask a question about another film. martin lawrence was here a few months ago and he said you guys were going to start shooting "bad boys 3" in march. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! hold on. >> know the audience gets
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excited but we don't know that that's true. >> well, it is very, very, very close. >> jimmy: it is? >> very, very close. it's very close. >> jimmy: what are the sticking points? is it the moustache? >> it's the moustache. the studio said we can't do the stache. >> jimmy: martin's got a beautiful moustache a cop would be proud of. >> i love that dude. >> jimmy: he's a great guy. >> some of the best times i've ever had making movies. >> jimmy: how long has it been since the last one? >> the last one -- 2004 or something like that. >> jimmy: so a very long time. >> what was it, '94 or something, was the first one. >> jimmy: you guys do one every 10 years. >> one a decade. >> jimmy: that would be great. until you're a bad old man, basically. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] "collateral beauty" opens in theatres december 16th. will smith, everybody! we'll be right back with chef adam perry lang! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> guillermo: coach, we are second graders. >> jimmy: young man, do you have a thyroid problem? because you are absolutely enormous. >> guillermo: they made me stay back in kindergarten. >> jimmy: it's gut check time. destiny is calling you right now. are you going to let that call from destiny go to voice mail? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: no! do you men know why you are here today? >> guillermo: because there is a pizza party after the game? >> jimmy: no! you're here because youth sports programs increase confidence and motivate kids to stay in school. >> guillermo: it is true. that's why dick's sporting goods created a sport initiative to save youth sports. and that's why our whole team is wearing green laces. >> jimmy: that's right. and remember, you can't spell
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team without meat! now get out there and win this game, come on now! go, go, go! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: billions of dollars have been cut from youth sports programs. help dick's sporting goods save them by buying special green laces in stores and online.
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hey! hey! (tires screeching) hey! is this yours? yes. thank you! happy holidays. (vo) the real magic of the holidays is when we all give a little more. (man) thank you!
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>> jimmy: it wouldn't be the holiday season without a visit from our next guest, master of the grill, barbecue, smoker, anything you can light on fire. please welcome chef adam perry lang! hello, adam, how are you? you know guillermo, my sidekick, my trusty assistant. tonight you are preparing something that is called the revival dish. what does that mean exactly? >> this is the steamship round. and it's -- very few people get to see this. but you can actually talk to your butcher and develop a relationship and ask for it. you can do it. serving a large group of people, it was traditionally done back with the big banquets, the chef with the big hat. >> jimmy: what part of the cow is this? >> hind quarter. >> jimmy: i love this so much,
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i'd put this in the middle of my table and stare at it. the butcher won't know what you're asking for if you ask for a steamship round? >> if they do they'd ask their supplier. they'd definitely know. >> jimmy: or maybe go and google it and figure it out and get meat all over the keyboard, i see, very interesting. okay, so this looks like -- i don't know, do people have ovens big enough to cook something like this? >> i say go for it, if it doesn't fit in carve a couple of pieces and freeze it for another time and fit it in. this is a generous, fantastic piece. you just really never see it. >> jimmy: is that your philosophy when it comes to sex as well? >> no comment. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> let get working. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> what we do is take some mustard which i mix with a little bit of -- >> jimmy: i think this is interesting. you know i follow your cookbooks very, very intently -- >> up and down, up and down. >> guillermo: like painting, guillermo. hence the paint brushes.
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but you when you're cooking often use yellow mustard which is something that generally if you're putting something on a hot dog maybe you want a better bus tard, a brown mustard. >> you'd think so, but not in this case. it's familiar, people know it. it cooks and it absorbs into the meat. the vinegar is striking for the crust. it holds the seasoning on. it's that everyday flavor that you kind of know in the back of your head. >> jimmy: you can smell it and you know. you can even -- [ audience moaning ] >> jimmy: it's like a -- >> like a hot dog. >> jimmy: giant hot dog. >> guillermo: keep doing it? >> keep doing it. then what we're going to do is -- >> jimmy: paint each other? >> yeah, paint each other. i call this a moisturizer. it keeps the meat moist. so it's like my meat moisturizer -- >> jimmy: this is your lotion? i'm going to keep rubbing this. i'm going to paint a little bit here. >> then when we season -- >> jimmy: have you ever seen anything like this guillermo? >> guillermo: no, this is my first time. >> the seasoning's basic. you season really generously.
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>> jimmy: what is in the seasoning? >> salt, pepper, garlic salt, cayenne, a lot of black pepper. here, go ahead. >> jimmy: black pickuper i've found is a huge pain huge pain >> this is 18 mesh. which means it's the pieces that just fall through the mesh at a certain stage. >> jimmy: okay. >> for me this type of pepper is the best fare slow-cooking barbecue. >> jimmy: i don't care through it in a spice grinder and do it faster. >> exactly. >> jimmy: very good. you pat it like your son. great job! >> he'd like that. >> jimmy: mom and i are so proud! we're going to eat you too. yeah. okay, pat this down. what's the patting do? >> it just makes -- spices are really expensive. so just makes it stick a little bit more. >> jimmy: guillermo, this reminds me of your stomach. right? feel it. >> guillermo: yeah. hard, very hard. >> jimmy: it's very hard. it's got a lot of beer in there,
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you know? >> guillermo: tacos and everything. >> jimmy: so part of what we're talking about here is being generous on the holidays. what you've done, you've generously invited the staff and teachers from hollywood high school across the street from us, we're going to feed them tonight. >> yes. >> jimmy: this very special meal. >> show them some love. >> jimmy: we have the assistant principals trapped in the smoker behind us. let's bring them up here and talk to them as you finish. anything else you have to do to this? >> no that's it. >> jimmy: hello, how are you doing? >> hello there. >> jimmy: i'm very, very filthy. before i shake your hand -- >> that right there. >> jimmy: yes, a little bit of mustard. >> there we go, i like that, i like that. >> jimmy: here you go. were the two of you teachers before you became assistant principals? >> yes. >> jimmy: and were you happy to get out of the classroom and away from the children? >> no. i still love the classroom.
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>> that's why we came back? you still love the classroom. are kids good nowadays, behave themselves? >> our kids are absolutely fantastic. i'm really serious when i say that. can you guys not agree to that? our kids are amazing. >> some of them are saying no. >> and they're talented and insightful. they're fantastic. >> jimmy: they seem like nice kids. none of them have ever keyed my car and i appreciate that. i attribute that to the two of you. adam's preparing this. i licked it a little bit as well. so now what do we do with this giant hunk? >> it's cooked for eight or nine hours. >> jimmy: eight or nine hours. you cook it in the big green egg which is a great thing to have in your home. look at how beautiful that looks when it's finished. >> at the end of put herb brushes on with a little bit of butter. >> jimmy: you get some herbs and it's your magic wand there. >> yes, exactly. >> jimmy: watch this. he's going to slice into it. do we have any vegans here? okay, all right. you are? go home.
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i'm going to give you some mustard, okay? so look at how beautiful. >> oh my god, that's beautiful. >> jimmy: wow. that is something. this is what they would have on the steamship in the old days. >> can you put pepper? >> jimmy: i'd be glad to. >> i know you like a lot of pepper. >> jimmy: the guys would stand there in their big hats and people would throw up over the side, it was a wonderful time to be alive, it really was, the time of the steamship. >> guillermo: can we come to your house for christmas? >> yes. >> jimmy: you know what's great, after the vacation guillermo forgets how to speak english. did you speak any english the last two weeks? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: all right, yeah. i had a feeling. now we've got these little rolls. you get these at costco? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's where i get them. all right. >> make the little sandwiches. what i like to serve with this is i make a pickle salad. which is pickles and dill, a little bit of hot sauce. i just put on it the sandwich. >> jimmy: pickles right on
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there. we'd like you guys to try these. >> yay! >> jimmy: let us know what you think. adam made them for everybody here. keep going. >> and guillermo. >> guillermo: i'll hold it for you. >> jimmy: how erotic. the au jus, how does that work? now we are going to eat the sandwiches. >> and we should toast each other for the holidays. >> jimmy: we'll have a coast with the crown royal as well. do a little dip, isn't that how it goes? >> he bit into it already, i'll make him another one. >> jimmy: no, he can dip in there, just dip last. >> dip it. >> jimmy: we've got to dip you in there. dip it in there, there we go. we're going to dip. >> >> guillermo: i'll do it for you. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to drink on camera? we'll drink more for you then. >> thank you. >> jimmy: mm! >> mm! >> guillermo: mm, this is so good. i should come to your house for christmas.
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>> you're welcome to. >> i'm coming over too. >> jimmy: we should go on a cruise together. a toast to the teachers and staff at hollywood high school, thank you for teaching our kids. happy holidays to each of you. adam's going to serve everybody food. adam perry lang, his book is called "serious barbecue" and it is indeed serious. crown royal for everyone. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ lift up your head and keep moving or let the paranoia haunt you? everybody lack confidence, everybody lack confidence i keep my fee-fi-fo-fum i keep my heart undone the strong in me, i still smile.
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>> jimmy: is everybody enjoying the food? we've got a little cookout going thanks to chef adam perry lang, the book is called "serious barbecue." thank you for the crown royal. a toast to everybody. thanks to all of you for coming out and being part of this. thanks to you, guillermo. thanks to will smith for stopping by. apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time for him. frankly he doesn't deserve this. "nightline" is next. thanks for watching. god nig good night, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight the deadly inferno. >> this orange wall of fire. felt like seeing a monster. >> those moments of chaos at a party in oakland when that devastating fire broke out. >> made my eyes water and i couldn't wreath. >> the heartbreaking search for loved ones. >> i just want to know something. >> and now a criminal investigation. who will be held accountable for at least 36 lives lost? plus snowden speaks. >> every decision that i made i can defend. >> one of america's most-wanted fugitives, the nsa whistleblower edward snowden in an exclusive interview with katie couric. >> are youever recognized? >> his life hiding in plain sight in moscow and his future in the hands of america's next


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