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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 12, 2017 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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♪ ♪ wereo gallant three streaming ♪ >> check it out. they're one of the hottest acts in the bay area, the stars of hamilton sang the national anthem at oracle tonight. >> they were fantastic. let's get back to larry beal live at oracle. hi, larry. >> reporter: tell you what, the crowd was really into it, it was thunderous, the warriors have been waiting a year for this celebration. they are kings of the nba once
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again, and we will ♪ ♪ (vo) you can pass down a subaru forester. (dad) she's all yours. (vo) but you get to keep the memories. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru.
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abc7 sports by ri by ri b casino. >> live at oracle, last year, heartbreak in game seven of the nba finals, that led to the acquisition of kevin durant. thanks in big part to k.d., the warriors are champions once again tonight. lot of celebs were here. snoop dogg, e-40, chris rock, part of a sell-out crowd. kevin durant hits the three. steph had 34 points, 10 assists and the dubs overcame a shaky
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start to take an 11-point lead at half-time. lebron james, 3-5 in nba finals, but he was spectacular, 41 points. in the end, too much kevin durant. named the finals mvp. warriors capture their second championship in three years. >> you call this a super team, but it's been a lot of super teams that hasn't worked. but we came together and continue to belief in each other and we sacrificed and we champs now. >> this is history, we going down as one of the best teams ever, and that's a special thing you cannot take away from us. >> if you look at our record, 16-1, say it was easy, but it wasn't. this series could have changed in game three, especially, but we had big time players big, big time plays. >> it hasn't been easy, i'm going to be honest, but in many ways, coaching this team has carried me through and i look forward to it every day, to come into practice and seeing these guys. it's crazy, i'm living right.
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>> joined by mike shumann. you were in there, you could just feel the emotion with everybody. >> well, it started with steve kerr, what he's gone through with the surgery and his neck and his back. he was just so relieved it was over and he was glad to be a part of it. iguodala made a run for mvp himself. you see the celebration here, steph curry, and mvp for kevin durant, just special. we talked to his mother and draymond's mother before the game. what it means to win a championship, there's nothing like that feeling. and guys like zaza patch yulea, david west, matt barnes, it's just great to see them, and some rookie players like patrick mccall. it's a thrill like nobody else can experience and well deserved. >> and they could be back again next year and the year after that. >> that's what's scary. >> we'll see you at the parade. abc7 sports brought to you by river rock casino.
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back to you. >> great job out there throughout the whole series. we appreciate it. and abc7 news continues now online, on twitter, facebook, and all your mobile devices with our abc7 news ♪ ♪ award winning interface. award winning design. award winning engine.
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what a fun night. >> yeah. >> great evening, thanks for being with us, we appreciate your time. >> for all of us, thanks for joining us, and we'll leave you with pictures of the warriors celebration, nba champs, what a great night. >> a magic moment, the parade is on thursday. >> until then, have a great
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night, everyone. go, dubs! i'm robin shriver, dance cam mom. tonight jimmy has on diane peeps, music by phoenix. go dubs! ♪ warriors ♪ warriors >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, diane keaton, snoop dogg, lonzo and lavar ball, and music from phoenix. and now, put it this way, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome to the show. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to you guys for coming.
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and special thanks to those who were with us in primetime for our nba special earlier tonight. tonight basketball season either ended or will continue on thursday. i don't know. i wish i did know. but i'm not psychic. you know, i asked them to schedule the game earlier for my convenience, and they said no. [ laughter ] the game is happening now. from oakland, game 5 of the nba finals. the golden state warriors against the cleveland cavaliers. it was a must-win game for cleveland and lebron james. there was an unusual prologue to this one. you know what a prologue is? bull [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] sorry, but -- anyway. [ laughter ] the hotel where the warriors practice right now is also hostinging the annual business summit for the national cannabis industry. which would explain why steph curry ate his mouth guard. [ laughter ] but at one point the smell offa was so strong in the hotel a
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representative from the cannabis industry had to go down to the gym and be like guys, i know you're up 3-1, but we're trying to get work done up there. [ laughter ] as you know, the warriors and the cavaliers have faced off three straight years now. and the rivalry between the teams gets more heated every time. draymond green of the warriors almost got thrown out of the game on friday night because of some confusion at the scorer's table. and when asked about it draymond took the opportunity to fire a shot not at the officials but at the city of cleveland. >> did you notice that the scorer's table didn't announce that that tech was -- they said the second tech was on you then. >> i don't really pay that much attention. i don't pay much attention to anybody in cleveland, honestly. don't seem to be the sharpest people around. >> jimmy: well, i guess he won't be vacationing in moreland hills this summer. [ laughter ] but the real reason i played that is i don't know if it's just me, but does -- do you agree, does draymond green look like a young jerry seinfeld? >> i mean, i watch these
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infomercials late at night. if it gets late enough, the products start to look good to me. i have actually found myself sitting there thinking, you know, i don't think i have a knife that can cut through a shoe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: get him a sitcom too. "everybody loved dramz would be" -- we have a future nba player with us tonight. lonzo ball is here, and he brought his dad, lavar ball. lonzo is from ucla. he's expected to be one of the top two picks in the nba draft. but his dad is the one who keeps making news. his dad said -- i think he said he wants a $3 billion shoe deal for his son and he claims that in his prime when he was playing he could have beat michael jordan one on one. you think he meant at basketball? [ laughter ] because -- anyway, there's a good chance lonzo could play for the lakers. assuming his interview with me goes well tonight. so a lot rests on this. also with us the great diane keaton is here. and music from phoenix, too. [ cheers and applause ] hey, by the way, with the nba and nhl seasons wrapping up,
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baseball is all we have left. and this is from the mets-braves over the weekend. they do something in atlanta i love. it's called beat the freeze. the way it works is a fan has a foot race with this character called the freeze. i don't know why they do it, but stay with this one till the end because it has a major league finish. >> it's called beat the freeze. they give the contestant a head start. watch this guy in the freeze suit. >> this is the greatest thing i've ever seen. watch this. the guy had a head start. look at this guy go. this guy is beautiful. >> jimmy: he stays down. it doesn't get better. teams should humiliate their fans more often. i like that. [ laughter ] meanwhile, yesterday was moving day at the white house. almost five months after donald trump moved in, melania and barron have arrived.
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just what the white house needs. two more terrified white people. [ laughter ] this was the scene at andrews air force base yesterday, where after yet another weekend of golf at a trump resort the president picked up his family. they arrived together. trump, melania, and barron. all appears well. and you know, you have to remember, this is a stressful thing. i mean, no one is ever prepared to move into the white house for the first time. and melania, i guess she just decided to make a break for it. she got halfway to neiman marcus before they -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] secret service rounded her up. so then they put her in the presidential helicopter, and they landed at the white house. and you can see how excited they all are. the only person in this picture who looks happy is the pilot. [ laughter ] barron's got a shirt that says "the expert." which i think means he's being given a cabinet position. this is so exciting. for the first time ever two 11-year-old boys will be living
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in the white house. [ laughter ] maybe we'll get to see barron out on the white house lawn having a catch with sean spicer while his dad's inside throwing fried chicken legs at jake tapper on tv. [ laughter ] melania's parents are also moving to d.c. this is her dad, victor knauss. you can see she has a type. [ laughter ] [ applause ] when they got married, her dad didn't lose a daughter. he gained a twin. [ laughter ] by the way, if you look closely, you can see he's carrying a copy of "trump" magazine. which isn't even in print anymore. it's been out of print for years. but i guess -- i don't know. when you have your subscription sent to slovenia it takes a while. [ laughter ] so just when you thought donald trump couldn't be more miserable, his in-laws are moving to town. forever. [ laughter ] "forbes" magazine today released their annual list of the highest paid entertainers. donald trump is not on that one, but the highest paid entertainer
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is -- drum roll. our next president, sean "diddy" combs was the highest paid -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] an astonishing $130 million last year. he was number one. beyonce was number two. which makes sense. vodka is more expensive than lemonade. beyonce is worth $350 million. all of destiny's other children are hoping she adopts them at this point. lebron james was tenth on the list with $86 million. basically, the game tonight was him picking up a little side work. and not only did "forbes" release their list of highest-paid entertainers, they released their list of lowest-paid entertainers too. and topping that list for the eighth straight year, that's right, hollywood boulevard spider-man. [ applause ] so now we go from our highest -- our highest entertainer, snoop dogg. we teamed up with our friend snoop for what has become one of
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the most beloved nature programs on this or any planet, and with that side it's time for a special all reptile edition of plazanet earth. >> whaup, though? this is big snoop dogg. let's watch some more animals. oh, there we go. little cute little lizard. what the hell is going on? he's being watched. snakes are straight-ass. you can tell the way they're looking at him. you see how they got their necks up? that means they're coming to get him. the lizard don't see what's happening. but one thing about a lizard, i think of geico. if he had geico, he have a 15% chance of making it up out of here. he's seen it. you watch -- oh, get out of there, man! go! did you see the feet on him? oh, they coming from everywhere. this is crazy.
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oh, that's [ bleep ] up. we have just entered into snakeville, usa. there are snakes coming from all angles. as he dips and dashes. he makes a get away, jumps into the arms of a big snake. the twist is on. but they twisting theirself. find it, find the loophole. gone. [ applause ] then you've got to find your way to the top of the mountain. he's jumping. he's very well trained in escape tactics, as you can see. oh, [ bleep ]. good move. i like that. oh, jump. jump. run [ bleep ] run! there you go. get a hold of it. see, snakes can't do that because they ain't got hands and they ain't got feet. damn. yeah, cuz, i'm up on the top of the mountain with you. remind me of my homeboys when they running from the police. plain getaway, baby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, snoop dogg. we have to take a break, but
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when we come back, everything you need to know about our father's day youtube challenge. stick around. we'll be right back. ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by subaru. ? no, i'm good. come on, moe. i have to go. (vo) we always trusted our subaru impreza would be there for him someday. ok. that's it. (vo) we just didn't think someday would come so fast. see ya later, moe. (vo) introducing the subaru impreza. the longest-lasting vehicle in its class. more than a car, it's a subaru. ♪ ouch! new band-aid® brand skin-flex™, bandages. our best bandage yet! it dries almost instantly. better? yeah. good thing because stopping never crosses your mind.
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4 out of 5 dentists confirm... ...these crest pro-health... ...products help maintain a... ...professional clean. go pro with crest pro health crest pro-health... ...really brought my mouth... ...to the next level. [ cheers and applause ] oh, and welcome back to the show. diane keaton, lonzo and lavar ball. music from phoenix. i want to mention, yesterday i had a fun parenting experience. my daughter jane, who's 2 years old, she'll turn 3, is in a ballet class. every week she goes to this class. really what she does, she makes funny faces at herself in the mirror while other girls are dancing. but she wears a tutu. so we sent her -- which by the
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way, the only reason parents sign their kids up for ballet has nothing to do with dancing. it's for the tutu. it's to take pictures with the tutu. the tutu is to ballet what bacon is to a blt. [ laughter ] nobody's interested in the lettuce and tomato. but anyway, she'd been going to this class for about six months, which eventually of course leads to a recital. so we get the news. we get an e-mail about the recital, which is set for yesterday, sunday. and in my family everyone goes to everything. so my parents come, my in-laws come. my niece and nephew come. everyone. in fact, the only reason the extended family didn't come is because my goddaughter frankie had another recital at the same exact time down in redondo beach. now, ours, this one, was in a mysterious part of the san fernando valley that i'm pretty sure only exists to sell used auto parts. if your car gets stolen, this is where they chop it up. [ laughter ] so we get there. and we have the baby with us because there's nobody to leave him with because everybody is at a recital in our family.
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we buy the tickets. we get the program, which i immediately look through it to see when -- what order jane's performance is. naturally she is third to last. [ laughter ] great. so we settle in. and now we're sitting there with jane watching the other kids dance and jane turns to her mother and says, "i'm not going up there. i'm not going to dance." and my wife said, oh, don't you want to dance with miss kelly? you're wearing your pretty tutu. all the other girls are here. don't you want to dance? and i'm like, "you are dancing." [ laughter ] your grandmother drove an hour and a half to be here. we could have been at the beach all weekend. instead i don't know where we are. but you better dance. [ laughter ] and she turns to me and she goes, "i am not going to dance." [ laughter ] and then i knew we were going to sit there through 35 other dance groups and when it came time for jane's class to dance she would not be dancing with them. and sure enough, we sat there for an hour, they did the big intro of her class, the other girls got on stage, all very
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cute, and there was jane on the right-hand side of your screen. just as promised, she did not dance. [ laughter ] and then we all got in the car and drove home. [ laughter ] and by the way, when she came off stage they gave her a trophy. all the kids got a trophy. and the woman hands it to her and jane looks at her and she's like what is this for? [ laughter ] my wife goes, it's for dancing. she goes, "i didn't dance." [ laughter ] which was true. [ cheers and applause ] she got a participation trophy for not participating. this is why we're falling behind the chinese, people. [ applause ] this is why. meanwhile, someone in california won a lot more than a trophy over the weekend. a powerball ticket was sold for -- it was the tenth biggest lottery prize in u.s. history. the jackpot is $447.8 million. the odds of winning were 1 in 292 million.
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you'd have a better chance at winning the lottery than winning this lottery. [ laughter ] meanwhile, this from a horse race in new south wales, australia where the winning horse also took home the award for most outstanding name. >> now the big dreamer back to the fence and masking lucky scarlet and chastity strikes. the big dreamer on the inside. super charged. horsy mchorse face is coming. horsy mchorseface and the big dreamer. horsy mchorseface. >> jimmy: that's great. that's maybe the best one. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know how you -- how could you not bet on horsy mchorseface if you had the chance? [ laughter ] sunday in case you don't know is father's day. i mentioned earlier on our primetime show we have a cherished tradition here at this show. we honor the dads of the world with a youtube challenge. we do this every year. and over the years we've been to -- we really subjected dads to all manner of nonsense. one year we had people serve their dads breakfast not in bed
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but in the shower. >> happy father's day. >> ah! joe! >> jimmy kimmel made me do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: another year we asked people to hop on pop. >> ah! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a hibernating bear. we even had people spray their dad with his favorite thing, a hose. >> of a! [ applause ] >> jimmy: that prank ended with prison time. this year we're mixing it up. your mission this year should you choose to accept it is to sneak up on your dad, get real close, and yell "i love you dad" at the top of your voice. you can do this whenever or wherever you want.
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just be safe about it. don't maim, kill, or injury your father. record yourself yelling you love him and then upload the video to youtube with the title "hey jimmy kimmel i told my dad i love him," and then keep an eye out for a message from us. we'll put our favorites on the show next week. yell it like you mean, it okay? now, go out there and make dad and me proud. [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show for tonight. we have music from a terrific band. phoenix is here with us. lonzo and lavar ball are here with us. and we'll be right back with diane keaton. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by google home. ask it questions, tell it to do things, and the google assistant is always ready to help. ross ama more people are choosing nissan. ♪ ♪ it's america's best sales event at nissan the fastest-growing auto brand in the u.s.a. take on every day
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every night i'll stand up here and chat with the audience and then i turn around and someone, i still don't know who, has put a couch and a desk here behind me. has put a couch and a desk here behind me. so we might as well use it. how far should pure alpine spring water has put a couch and a desk here behindhave to travel from its source to the bottle?t. a hundred miles? a thousand miles? how about less than a mile and a half? crystal geyser always bottled at the mountain source. more people are choosing nissan. ♪ ♪ it's america's best sales event at nissan the fastest-growing auto brand in the u.s.a. take on every day get 0% for up to 72 months on 13 models. ♪
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the energy conscious whopeople among usle? say small actions can add up to something... humongous. a little thing here. a little thing there. starts to feel like a badge maybe millions can wear. who are all these caretakers, advocates too? turns out, it's californians it's me and it's you. don't stop now, it's easy to add to the routine. join energy upgrade california and do your thing. ♪
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♪ ♪ but the way we watch it is not. so, let's do something else. like what? like, watch tv wherever. what's that supposed to mean? it means, anywhere. in a car? yep. oof. but not like that. like this. oooh, family boat trip! yeah. and check this, record as many shows as you want. what? what? i just got chills. i know! tv, like, made for us. finally! finally. yeah. finally. ♪ wait, that's way cheaper than cable.
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how fafrom its sourcelpine spring to the bottle?travel ♪ how about less than a mile and a half? crystal geyser is the only major us spring water bottled at the mountain source. ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. tonight one of them is a top prospect in the nba draft. the other is his father slash hype man. lonzo and lavar ball are with us. lonzo's 19 years old. i've got to tell you, i remember when i was that age and i used to do talk shows with my dad. it was a special time. [ laughter ] then all the way from france, their latest album is called "ti amo," phoenix from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see phoenix live on thursday just up the street at the hollywood bowl here in l.a. i have seen them there and they are great, one of the best shows i've ever seen there.
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we have new shows for you all week next week. this week rather. with jamie foxx, andy samberg, jill yan bell, and music from 2 chainz featuring trey songz and ty dolla sign too. please join us for all that. or first guest tonight is such a wonderful person and talent woody allen flew to los angeles just to pay tribute to her this week. she is an oscar and golden globe winner who is honored with the afi life achievement award. a tribute to diane keaton, it premieres thursday night on tnt. please welcome diane keaton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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welcome, diane. >> i'm going to sit down, okay? >> jimmy: yeah, sit down. what the heck? >> you know, i have something -- i want to ask you a couple questions. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. i just want to ask you a few questions. this is very important for me. >> jimmy: you've written questions. >> i did. i did. >> jimmy: okay. >> here's what i want to know. >> jimmy: okay. >> is matt damon going to be on the show tonight? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i make a good effort to work him into the show. >> is he going to come tonight, though? >> jimmy: he is backstage waiting. and if we have time for him -- >> i didn't see him. >> jimmy: oh, you didn't see him. he's not in the same area with the real celebrities. he's in a special containment cell, if you will. >> i see. the other thing i wanted to ask was when i walked in tonight i noticed there was a bar atmosphere. >> jimmy: yes, there is a bar atmosphere. >> isn't that a little sleazy? [ laughter ] i've been on these shows before. there's like a drinking going on. i feel a little better myself if
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i brought out -- >> jimmy: did you steal alcohol? oh, you have your own wine. [ laughter ] wow. >> do you mind if i have a little? >> jimmy: i don't mind at all, no. [ applause ] >> that's it. i feel better. this is my next question. jimmy, don't interrupt me. >> jimmy: i won't. [ laughter ] >> so here's what happened -- >> jimmy: must serve on ice. really? >> that's for me. you can't have it. that's special for me because, you know. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay. so listen, i asked you to speak. do you remember? at my afi awards ceremony. and i called you myself but you didn't return my call. and it made me feel very bad inside my heart. >> jimmy: no, that's not true. >> because i have a heart. and your representatives -- no, i'm serious. >> jimmy: no. >> this is not okay. your representatives told me that you were doing a dog voice-over for -- of a basset hound. >> jimmy: oh, all right. [ laughter ] >> no, wait.
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but it's for a very good cause. purina dog food. [ laughter ] and you know, that hurt my feelings. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> it offended my heart. like i told you, it hurt it. i have two hearts. >> jimmy: that's not true at all. >> it's true because i read it on your wikipedia. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that i did play a -- >> i checked him out. i know all about him. then i also read that you did a voice-over for a robot chicken? >> jimmy: yeah. a show called "robot chicken." >> what is that? >> jimmy: it was a show on adult swim i think. it was a very funny show. >> it was? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it wasn't like an actual chicken? >> jimmy: yeah. it's the name of a show. i've been doing so many things since then. [ laughter ] >> oh, you have. i want to say one other thing. and then i'm not going to ask you a. any more questions. you look good. >> jimmy: thank you. >> did you lose weight? [ laughter ] he looks good, doesn't he?
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>> jimmy: you look great. you don't look good. you look fantastic. >> i'm a woman. >> jimmy: may i ask you anything? >> anything. >> jimmy: i am really dazzled by you in a number of ways. >> you're lying. >> jimmy: no, i'm not lying. you have no idea how much i watch your movies like a lunatic over and over and over again. i mean, really, like a crazy person. but when i look at you and you're so well put together and this like outfit that you put on. i mean, when i'm not -- a guy hands me clothes and he tells me what to wear. when i'm left to my own devices i don't know what to do. i have no idea what to wear. and i'm not joking at all. and your houses. i've seen the photographs in the magazines. i read that book that you put out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have so much style. is that something that you've always -- you were born with or is it something that someone taught you or both of those things? >> i think for me i've always been visually. when i was a kid my dad was an engineer. he was a civil engineer. so we used to go to the -- you
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know, the open houses, the model homes in orange county. and i remember seeing them, they were like these incredible like cliff may houses. you know, the california houses. i just remember like how magical it all looked to me. so yeah, i was always interested in visual things. like today, tonight, noticing how great you look. >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] >> really. i like the suit he's got on. and he looks -- i like that beard too. >> jimmy: that i grew on my own. i did do that on my own. i swear, that was all me. [ laughter ] i even trimmed it myself. >> you look great. it's no joke. is that because of success or something? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> because you are. you're very successful. >> jimmy: thank you. you mentioned the chicken and everything. let's turn the spotlight on you for a moment.
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you just received what i think is a great honor, right? >> yes, it was. >> jimmy: you had all these people who worked with you, who are your grenades, who are close to you. >> they've worked with me, yeah. >> jimmy: not all of them are your friends. >> no. because i mean some are important. like meryl streep. that's an important person. >> jimmy: she's important. but is she not your friend, meryl? >> i love her. but i don't know -- i mean, i don't see her very often. she doesn't call. >> jimmy: okay. all right. [ laughter ] >> but i love her. >> jimmy: who else are your friends? >> i'll tell you who else were there. just so you know. >> jimmy: yeah, tell us who was there. >> i'm going to tell you now. well, certainly there was that woman, sarah silverman. >> jimmy: i know her. >> you do? >> jimmy: i do, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> she was funny. >> jimmy: she was funny. okay, good. >> also i liked her. i thought she was very funny and very attractive. she's a woman, by the way. >> jimmy: i know that. i know that quite well, yes. [ laughter ] >> oh, you do? >> jimmy: yeah.
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>> okay. >> jimmy: i guess you didn't go too deep in that wikipedia. [ laughter ] you got to the -- you skipped the personal life part of it. >> yeah, i kind of did. oh, dear. you'll forgive me, though. >> jimmy: of course i will. >> i'll move on now with me. reese witherspoon was there. that was a nice thing. >> jimmy: not a friend? >> well, you know, reese -- i met reese when she was 14 and i directed her in a tv movie. yeah, i did. >> jimmy: wow. >> she was just 14. a kid. >> jimmy: did you know then she was going to be a star? >> oh, yeah. no question. great-looking. great talent. >> jimmy: and yet still not a friend. [ laughter ] >> not a friend. i don't have many friends. >> jimmy: i love this show. this could be a show called "not a friend." where we just go through celebrities that you're not friends with. [ applause ] we're going to take a break. we'll come back with more of diane keaton and her non-friends after this. [ cheers and applause ]
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that's unfortunate. ♪ >> jimmy: still to come, lonzo and lavar ball and music from phoenix. we are here with the great diane keaton, who has received the afi life achievement award.
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[ cheers and applause ] it's going to air thursday night. >> do you mind? >> jimmy: no. >> because some women came. i told you i had some very nice women. but there were some men there too. not too many men. >> jimmy: okay. >> unfortunately. i wanted more men to come. >> jimmy: you specifically asked for more men. >> well, i did ask for you. and that happened with a lot of men. but some men came. and that was nice. [ laughter ] i enjoyed that. >> jimmy: some of the men are your former paramours. yes? >> some a long time ago. because i'm i'm a single woman. >> jimmy: yes. but at one time -- >> but i was never married. nobody ever asked me to marry them. >> jimmy: nobody ever asked you -- >> i don't know why. >> jimmy: really? if i wasn't already married or if i was a fundamentalist mormon i would ask you right now. [ laughter ] if one of those two things were true. >> but would you really? i'm older than you are. >> jimmy: yes, i would. >> you like older women. >> jimmy: no. just you specifically. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, what should we do?
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i mean, i'm available. >> jimmy: i'm going to let you finish this bottle of wine and see where it takes us. [ cheers and applause ] woody allen is your -- >> yeah, woody allen was there. >> jimmy: al pacino, warren beatty. >> warren. >> jimmy: isn't it a lovely thing now that you now have a relationship with them that they can come speak with you in public and it's loving and it's not in court? [ laughter ] >> i wondered where you were going. >> jimmy: me too. >> that's a good one. yeah. i mean, of course i never do see them ever. >> jimmy: you don't. >> in the real layoff. >> jimmy: because you're out here -- >> yeah. i don't have any friends. >> jimmy: you don't have any friends. >> not one. >> jimmy: we went through the list. what about martin short? is he your friend? >> i do like the martin short. >> jimmy: okay. steve martin, is he your friend? >> oh, yeah. they're all actually friends. they were so wonderful. >> jimmy: they spoke at your event. >> and so was everybody -- >> jimmy: were you shocked to see woody there? because he famously does not
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come to l.a. very much. >> oh, no. i was totally thrilled. yeah, i was totally shocked. >> jimmy: that was a surprise to you for real? >> well, not really. >> jimmy: not really. [ laughter ] >> i begged him. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. i called many times. >> jimmy: you wanted him to be there? >> yeah. >> jimmy: he roasted you i heard. and vice versa. >> i don't know about -- >> jimmy: you played a very important role in many of his best films. wouldn't you agree? [ cheers and applause ] of course. >> you know, i usually have it with ice. but tonight -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we can get you some ice. you keep drinking like, that guillermo's going to propose to you. i see him eyeing you over there. [ laughter ] >> are you going to get in
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trouble for drinking -- >> jimmy: yes. >> is this against the law? >> jimmy: yes, it's against the law. no, you can smoke pot in california now. it's just wine. >> but here at the show. >> jimmy: we have no rules here. it's a sleazy place. you heard that when you walked in. well, it's so great to have you here. i would like you to come back every night. lifetime achievement award for diane keaton premieres thursday on tnt. we'll be right back with lonzo and lavar ball! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ it's here! it's here! it's here! ahhhhhhh! ♪
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>> jimmy: still to come, music from phoenix. our next guests have made it very clear they intend to establish a family dynasty in the nba, which makes sense. their last name is ball. please welcome lonzo and lavar ball. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i can't
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first of all, welcome. but i feel like i'm the principal and you're in trouble. [ laughter ] well, how are you guys doing? look at this. you already have ties and sweatshirts and the hat. are there any other products on your body? oh, the shoes. you have the shoes. the controversial shoes that everyone is so angry about, right? yes? >> that's what they -- they angry about it. they don't have to be angry. >> jimmy: i know. nobody needs to be angry. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: people don't have to buy these things -- >> you don't have to buy them if you don't want them. only buy them if you want them. >> jimmy: you guys are -- most people who follow basketball know that you are an unbelievably great player. you played at ucla. you are potentially the number two -- we're not shooting for number one at all? we only want to play for the lakers? is that the thing that's going on right now? >> that's kind of where we're trying to head to. >> jimmy: you're trying to go to the lakers. it feels like a good fit for you. is that because the team is here in l.a. or is it just because it's a good fit for you?
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or is it the lakers' mystique you that love? >> all of it. but the main thing is just being home. i like being home. hometown kid. and they're right here in l.a. where i'm from. >> jimmy: no interest in the clippers? >> they don't really have a chance. so no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys are going to be in so much trouble by the end of this interview. >> we don't get in trouble. we all right. we go our own way. >> jimmy: my son -- i have two sons. one of them is not going to be a basketball player even though he's a big kid. he's already 23 years old. i have a 2-month-old baby. how do i train him to make him a superstar athlete like you have done with your son and your other two sons as well? >> i hate to tell you, but it's going to cost you. you've got to bring them to me for the first six months. then i give them back to you and he'll be easy to train. >> jimmy: how do you train a two-month-old child to become -- >> only one trainer can do that, and that's me. >> jimmy: well, let me ask you this. in addition to basketball training do you do potty

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